Page 1465 - Gravely Roast

5th Dec 2020, 6:00 AM in A Canterlot Wedding, Part 2
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Gravely Roast
Average Rating: 5 (1 votes)
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Author Notes:

Newbiespud 5th Dec 2020, 6:00 AM edit delete
Newbiespud
If tradition dictates that the villain gets a free pre-battle monologue revealing their nefarious plan, the heroes should get a chance to point out all the ways it has fallen short.

Though now that I'm thinking about it, the heroic version of the pre-final-battle all-is-revealed monologue/tangent is a staple of the mystery and heist genres. Pulling that off in an improvisational medium is a lot more difficult.

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29 Comments:

ANW 5th Dec 2020, 7:18 AM edit delete reply
(In a stadium salesman voice)
I've got marshmallows, hotdogs, popcorn, mushrooms, skewers, eggplant and all other kinds of food for flame roasting.
One bit each
Lily 5th Dec 2020, 7:37 AM edit delete reply
Three marshmallows, please
ANW 5th Dec 2020, 8:35 AM edit delete reply
One triple sticky stick coming your way.
Lily 5th Dec 2020, 8:49 AM edit delete reply
Thank-you!
Balrighty 5th Dec 2020, 7:45 AM edit delete reply
'Tis the season of the happy holidays (Christmas, Hearth's-Warming Eve, and of course, QISmaS DatIvjaj), so I'd like some chestnuts for the open fire, please).
ANW 5th Dec 2020, 8:35 AM edit delete reply
Pair of nuts with holders coming your way
BackSet 5th Dec 2020, 10:04 AM edit delete reply
Two buckets of popcorn please. Can't go wrong with the classics.
ANW 5th Dec 2020, 10:46 AM edit delete reply
You'll have to pop them yourself, over the flames.
Condiments in the back if you want melted butter or salt.
aylatrigger 5th Dec 2020, 5:13 PM edit delete reply
Roasting is usually better with a bit of salt.
CharginChuck 5th Dec 2020, 2:39 PM edit delete reply
CharginChuck
Got any Krayt Dragon meat? I'm willing to pay a bit extra if necessary.
ANW 5th Dec 2020, 2:58 PM edit delete reply
I'm just a stadium concession owner.
Space dragon/lizard meat is a bit out of our range.
I do have fantasy salamander tails though.
Skewer one, roast till slightly charred, very good.
It's what I'll be using.
TyrantViewer 5th Dec 2020, 3:38 PM edit delete reply
Fantasy Salamander tails that you can roast and aren't fireproof/made of fire? I think someone cheated you mate, those are just giant lizard tails painted with *sniff sniff* hot sauce?
ANW 5th Dec 2020, 4:08 PM edit delete reply
It's the skin and scales that can't be cooked.
The meat can cooked. It just takes a little longer.
That one is my friends lunch.
SylveKit-_- 6th Dec 2020, 8:48 PM edit delete reply
SylveKit-_-
One hotdogs and 30 billion marshmallows, please!
ANW 7th Dec 2020, 9:45 AM edit delete reply
One wiener going up.
As for the marshmallows...
'WHAM'
30 billion marshmallows, crashing into you.
SylveKit-_- 14th Jan 2021, 8:19 PM edit delete reply
SylveKit-_-
*swept away in marshmallows * Thank yoouuu!
Steel Resolve 5th Dec 2020, 9:42 AM edit delete reply
This is glorious.
albedoequals1 5th Dec 2020, 10:54 AM Heroic Monologue edit delete reply
albedoequals1
"And you would have gotten away with it too, if not for one critical error. For you see! it was not commonly known that the deceased was a member of the freemasons, and every Saturday..."
Toric 5th Dec 2020, 12:25 PM edit delete reply
...but then the groundskeeper discovered the real treasure was the friends he made along the way. Leaving him open for an attack from the left flank while the air support...
ANW 5th Dec 2020, 12:41 PM edit delete reply
...was given the wrong information by someone in said freemasons, sending them north instead of south...
Robin Bobcat 5th Dec 2020, 2:50 PM edit delete reply
... had it not been for the spinach casserole forgotten in the oven, there would have been little to no realization that there was anything amiss with the piano aside from the unusual mahogany keys...
Winged Cat 5th Dec 2020, 5:40 PM edit delete reply
Winged Cat
...and that's why we have money!
Not Scooby-Doo 5th Dec 2020, 7:55 PM edit delete reply
And don't forget those Meddling Kids and their dog
SylveKit-_- 6th Dec 2020, 8:50 PM edit delete reply
SylveKit-_-
Oh god! I just died!
sun tzu 5th Dec 2020, 1:00 PM edit delete reply
What makes this even funnier is that both Chrysalis and Cadance are played by the same guest player, so she's effectively switching back-and-forth throughout this scene.
Anon 5th Dec 2020, 2:10 PM edit delete reply
Cadence hasn't said a word today, though.
aylatrigger 5th Dec 2020, 5:21 PM edit delete reply
I've done 'players playing their own double,' and I find the dialog for big scenes can even go better...'Cause you can prepare before the session what you and your double say if there is enough back and forth.
...So one time I prepared an entire speech where the double gets angrier and angrier over it and slips into a German accent 'cause the original was a disguised Nazi assassin. (The double was supposed to be opposite-except-also-evil and the original did not know Nazis were evil...but double realized it. So double got upset that she could not be eviler than a Nazi.)
And another case of doubles, my brother played them and we both designed an entire 'encounter', race, and discussion beforehand.
TyrantViewer 5th Dec 2020, 3:44 PM edit delete reply
Me and another reader have a back and forth on Canon Chrysalis' plans on the previous page, but I can't help but wonder what this version's long term plans are? If she has them, I can totally see the player having her be egotistacle enough to have a fairly flawed plan on the basis of being way too confident it would work.

But what is her goal? Will changelings still feed on emotions in the comic setting? If so is this part of some "genius" plan to get a huge amount to power up? A body snatcher like plan to stealthily take power? (I like that idea, replace the least known alicorn and then use that power to do what changelings do but better plus whatever ways they could abuse the position of princess of love for their own ends)

I can't wait to see how the comic plays with this now that we are heading for the part where the villian reveals their scheme- if only because I can totally see the player going for that dramatic route.
Cliff Robotnik 6th Dec 2020, 8:31 AM edit delete reply
This is something of a standard of my setting at this point, specially with the oft' mentioned Dave in the party, every dumb part of a plan, every needless risk, every intelligence-questioning cliche they use or say, gets sharpened and cast spear tip forwards towards the villain...

Another player specially loves mocking and ruining villain monologs... While Dave prefers to tell the VILLAIN what ITS plan was, like some freakish lovechild of Sherlock Holmes and Joseph Joestar...

That poor Drow Matron will never recover from the time he cut off her during her first sentence, told her everything she was going to say, then tell her why she is a idiot, right to her face.

Strongly worded and far too much alliteration for it to if been improvised... She took so much Charisma Damage from that sickest of burns she became catatonic.


I swear, it sometimes feel like my usual group are made of bards IRL sometimes.