Page 151 - Jenkins Bait

21st Jul 2012, 6:00 AM
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Jenkins Bait
Average Rating: 4.5 (4 votes)
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Author Notes:

Newbiespud 21st Jul 2012, 6:00 AM edit delete
Newbiespud
Some players do learn. Thieves learn to stop stealing indiscriminately. Fighters stop picking fights with EVERY single person they encounter. The problem is that by the time this happens, the character trait has already become stuck in every player's mind, and now it's simply expected.

176 Comments:

Oblivious 21st Jul 2012, 6:02 AM edit delete reply
Oblivious
Character growth for Rainbow Dash; who'da thunk it?

Also, title made me lol.
AlicornPriest 21st Jul 2012, 6:20 AM edit delete reply
AlicornPriest
And then, if we stick to the canon, she's going to do it anyway. :P
darkwulf23 21st Jul 2012, 7:10 AM edit delete reply
darkwulf23
Well they tried Purple, they tried White, and they tried Pink, it was about time to taste the Painbow
J-Kwez 8th Aug 2012, 10:25 PM edit delete reply
No because pink defeats it with a box of poisonous lobsters.
City Strider 21st Jul 2012, 6:28 PM edit delete reply
City Strider
Hey, Obliv. You're clear to post in Tatters, as a heads up.
Oblivious 22nd Jul 2012, 3:32 AM edit delete reply
Oblivious
Thanks, been kinda busy.
Ranubis 21st Jul 2012, 6:09 AM edit delete reply
Ranubis
RD: "All right, mares! Let's do this! RAAINBOOOOOOOOOOOOOW! DAAAASSSH!"
TS: "...Oh my alicorn, she just went in."
ThreeZeus 21st Jul 2012, 6:10 AM edit delete reply
Stick to the plan! Stick to the plan!
Zuche 21st Jul 2012, 6:11 AM edit delete reply
At least she's got Scootaloo.
Digo 21st Jul 2012, 7:18 AM edit delete reply
Best Thread moment ever.
Cain 21st Jul 2012, 8:14 AM edit delete reply
Cain
wow... you guys really make me look sane.
Raxon 21st Jul 2012, 3:24 PM edit delete reply
Raxon
Compared to some of us, you're so sane, you make Ben Stein look like an out of control lunatic.
CrowMagnon 23rd Jul 2012, 2:53 PM edit delete reply
Ben Stein IS an out of control lunatic. He's just good at being deadpan about it. ;)
Oblivious 21st Jul 2012, 9:41 AM edit delete reply
Oblivious
Ranubis is best commenter. :P
Ranubis 21st Jul 2012, 12:17 PM edit delete reply
Ranubis
And later to be copied by Twilight in the fight against the Hydra.

Twilight: All right, mares, let's do this. TWIIIIIILIGHT! SPAARRRRKLE!
Apple Jack: Oh alicorn, she just ran in.
Rarity: Oh Celestia. Stick to the plan! Stick to the plan! And grab some gems!
Pinkie Pie: Use divine intervention!
Rainbow Dash: Am I lagging? I can't fly! I can't fly!
Fluttershy: Get it off! Get it off!
Applejack: Alicorn-dang it, Twilight.
Twilight: ... at least I got books.
Raxon 21st Jul 2012, 2:00 PM edit delete reply
Raxon
I agree with Oblivious, and he has the third best avatar here, after Oblivious, with my first and favorite Doctor.

And of course, we all know nobody actually reads the comic, you're all just here to see my majestic countenance.
Derpmind 23rd Jul 2012, 8:05 AM edit delete reply
Sex.
Jason Shadow 21st Jul 2012, 6:29 AM edit delete reply
Jason Shadow
Smaug: "Okay, now that I finally got the youngsters out of my spines, I can go back to my nice, peaceful slumb- Tiamat's Sting, who the heck is this Jenkins idiot?!"
AlicornPriest 21st Jul 2012, 6:37 AM edit delete reply
AlicornPriest
Man, I always love it when people reference Bahamut and Tiamat. They need to be canon. That would be SO AWESOME! /)'3'(\
Ranubis 21st Jul 2012, 7:34 AM edit delete reply
Ranubis
Yay, the name Smaug is catching on!

Smaug: "Well, I suppose I was feeling a bit peckish... Oh, and look! He brought friends! Now, if only I had a can opener."
Lyntermas 21st Jul 2012, 7:12 AM edit delete reply
Lyntermas
Jenkins Bait: noun. A specific subset of Schmuck Bait. Primarily designed for people to charge directly into extreme danger without backup, even if a potentially safer plan of action is currently being discussed. Jenkins Bait may become more effective if the target realizes that the discussed plan has a fairly low chance of success anyway, such as 32.33% (repeating of course).
CharginChuck 21st Jul 2012, 7:21 AM edit delete reply
CharginChuck
People, we need to turn this into an actual phrase. I just googled it, and every page I went through was nothing but Jenkins Bait Shop (Rochester, KY).
Vellikat 21st Jul 2012, 2:58 PM edit delete reply
Vellikat
I'm going to add it to UrbanDictionary. Lyntermas, is it okay if I use what you've put there?
Vellikat 21st Jul 2012, 3:03 PM edit delete reply
Vellikat
...I'll just do it and give you credit, mmkay
Lyntermas 21st Jul 2012, 7:27 PM edit delete reply
Lyntermas
Sorry I didn't reply sooner. Go right ahead.
Vellikat 23rd Jul 2012, 9:19 PM edit delete reply
Vellikat
Well, never mind. It failed the reviewing procedure. *Eyeroll*
Derpmind 21st Jul 2012, 7:42 AM edit delete reply
Since when was 97/300 the threshold of low chances?
Raxon 21st Jul 2012, 2:09 PM edit delete reply
Raxon
Actually, I think there's already a trope for that. Lemme do a little research, and I'll get back to you.

Edit: Sadly, somehow, I cannot find this concept as a trope. In addition, I am not known well enough there, and I do not consume sufficient mass quantities of media to make a page for it and include a decent number of examples. Finally, I'm probably not clever enough to write a good description for it.

By these powers combined, I am Captain "Minimum Contribution" Troper!
Digo 21st Jul 2012, 7:19 AM edit delete reply
Yeah, pretty much happens in my group. You do something dumb a couple times and you get stereotyped to it even if you never do it again. And really, it's like just a couple players that force impose that sterotype...
Crimson Doom 21st Jul 2012, 7:25 AM edit delete reply
Crimson Doom
Well, to be fair, preventing the fighter from insulting the Grand High Lord Poobah of Importantville when he's got a track record of insulting important NPCs is easier than dealing with fifty guards trying to arrest you for impertinence.
MirrorImage 21st Jul 2012, 9:20 AM edit delete reply
MirrorImage
That ultimately depends on the fighter. It may actually be easier to take care of those 50 guards, though the question is how effective it is towards the end goal.
Crimson Doom 21st Jul 2012, 9:29 AM edit delete reply
Crimson Doom
Good point. The Fighter may be able to slay 50 guards in his sleep without his weapons and with one arm tied behind his back, but if the Grand High Lord Poobah of Importantville is someone you need help from... well, you're in trouble.
Technopony 21st Jul 2012, 10:10 AM edit delete reply
In my experience, this is why the cleric does all the talking
Ponyfodder 21st Jul 2012, 3:23 PM edit delete reply
Ponyfodder
Something I have been unable to live down is my first experience in D&D. It was a 3.5 adventure, and I had never played any tabletop before. In fact, I was used to the relatively low-consequence video gaming environment. So, my first character, a Sorcerer with a toad familiar, was fighting in the party with some bugbears. I don't even remember why, or what I was thinking, but I decided to use my toad as a projectile for my mage hand spell. it went splat against a bugbear shield, I suffered stat losses, the character did not live long enough to get another familiar. Needless to say, from that point on, bugbears have an odd tendency to contain splattered amphibian remains on their shields when we bump into them.
MirrorImage 21st Jul 2012, 5:54 PM edit delete reply
MirrorImage
That sounds like the dragon encounter from my 1e group a few weeks ago. I'm playing a gnome illusionist/fighter, and we have a half-orc fighter. We come across this thick fog in the middle of a glacial cave, and each time we come near it, we keep getting Feared away. So I finally look at the half-orc and say "Throw me."

...

"Oh hello Mr. Drag-AGGHH"
Greywander 21st Jul 2012, 10:11 AM edit delete reply
Greywander
In the show, Rainbow actually does pull a Leeroy, but had the good sense to hold off on it until all their other plans had failed. It still turned out to be a horrible idea that would have ended in a TPK if not for Fluttershy.
CommandoDude 21st Jul 2012, 11:24 AM edit delete reply
Apparently, my Cavalier's solution to everything is to CHARGE.
Anvildude 23rd Jul 2012, 1:08 PM edit delete reply
Charging is the correct answer to _All_ of _Any_ Cavalier's problems.

Like my Half-Orc, Boar riding Cavalier in my current Pathfinder campaign. Hits like a train full of half-ton bricks, but has less HP than the party Rogue. If I can't take the enemy out in one quad-damage charge, I'm pretty much dead anyways.
Bronymous 21st Jul 2012, 11:49 AM edit delete reply
Bronymous
This seems oddly relevant to a certain character of a certain campaign being played out on here.
Kris_The_Guest 21st Jul 2012, 11:55 AM edit delete reply
Kris_The_Guest
*hits Horizon with a squeaky hammer.* No!
Bronymous 21st Jul 2012, 12:03 PM edit delete reply
Bronymous
"If you hit me with that chew toy one more time I will feed you to its owner."
Kris_The_Guest 21st Jul 2012, 12:14 PM edit delete reply
Kris_The_Guest
I am the owner! *Hits Horizon.*
Bronymous 21st Jul 2012, 12:15 PM edit delete reply
Bronymous
"Why do you have a chew toy?"
Kris_The_Guest 21st Jul 2012, 12:19 PM edit delete reply
Kris_The_Guest
I'm a half-vampire. I can't chew on peoples necks due to the fact that I want to stay neutral good.
Bronymous 21st Jul 2012, 12:30 PM edit delete reply
Bronymous
SKITTER! WHO TOLD YOU YOU COULD BITE TIFFANY!
Kris_The_Guest 21st Jul 2012, 12:34 PM edit delete reply
Kris_The_Guest
ME : I'm not Tiffany! I'm Kris! Tiffany's over there!
Tiffany : *is reading a romance novel.*
Bronymous 21st Jul 2012, 12:38 PM edit delete reply
Bronymous
TIFFANY! WHO SAID YOU COULD BITE KRIS AFTER SKITTER BIT YOU!
Kris_The_Guest 21st Jul 2012, 12:46 PM edit delete reply
Kris_The_Guest
Me : *face-palm*
Tiffany : Huh? *looks up from her book.*
Zarhon 21st Jul 2012, 12:49 PM edit delete reply
Zarhon
Gah, now I keep imagining you guys as the characters of Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog.

Horizon - Captain Hammer
Rolf - Dr. Horrible
Tiffany - Penny
Skitter - Uhm... Bad Horse?

Anyway Campaign time: Zilean's Revenge

Chapter GET IN THE CAR: Horizon's a lemming

S & R

Grease -> 2 + 8 = 10
Putting it bluntly -> nat20

Rolf casts his grease spell, covering the floor under the cultists, whilst Skitter has his opponents shadow pull him in your direction.

Sadly, the rug under the cultists allows them to keep their balance, despite the grease spell: It's thick enough to absorb the grease without being too slippery.

The partially greased rug and the sudden pull cause the right cultist to fall over. The rug prevents him from hitting his head too hard. He continues being pulled towards Skitter, as though pulled by a lasso. He starts cutting at the shadows acting against him with his dagger.

The left cultist starts casting a spell to help his companion. Rolf uses the chance to run in, leaping over the grease, hitting him square in the face with his cudgel. He's knocked backwards onto the floor and continues sliding along the floor from the grease. Rolf quickly jumps on top of him, riding on his back, pushing and steering him, until he reaches the end of the corridor. He quickly jumps off before impact. The cultists head crashes into the door. He's not getting up anytime soon.

T & H

Perception (Main hall)
Nat1 + 8 (H)
Nat1 (T)

(Okay, whats with this dice?!)

You run towards the pointed direction, ignoring everything in favor of getting away from a rather angry feline. You eventually reach a wooden staircase, leading directly upwards. You rush up it as quickly as you can. Sadly, your lack of attention causes you to not notice a broken step, halfway along the way. You both step on it at once, causing the stair to break under your weight and open into a hole. They both fall through it, landing somewhere very dark, the only light shining from the hole left by the step above.

Bronymous 21st Jul 2012, 1:00 PM edit delete reply
Bronymous
Once the dust had settled, Horizon lay in a heap in the darkness. He didn't move, but spoke to the other heap he knew was nearby.

"That was your fault."

He then proceeded to lay still for a while.
Ramsus 21st Jul 2012, 1:03 PM edit delete reply
Ramsus
(Bad Horse! I feel like I've won something.)

Skitter leaps upon the downed cultist, thrusting his sword down at his chest. (*roll* 15 again?)
Kris_The_Guest 21st Jul 2012, 1:26 PM edit delete reply
Kris_The_Guest
Tiffany groaned in pain, staying still to see if anything was broken.
Lyntermas 21st Jul 2012, 1:55 PM edit delete reply
Lyntermas
Yeah, I'm thinking there's something funny with the wizards number generator. Run it through, like, 50 times and see how many times you get a 1.

Rolf stood up, looked at the cultist, and smiled. That...was actually kinda cool. He certainly made up for that sleep spell mishap. He turned around.

"Hey, Skitter, did you see...NO, Skitter, we need them alive!" He rushed back down the hall, if for no other reason than to try and wake the cleric up.
Lyntermas 21st Jul 2012, 2:15 PM edit delete reply
Lyntermas
Bronymous, to answer your questions in the previous comic.

1. Nathan Fillon is an actor, here are a few clips for reference.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NPRlHwwVIug&feature=relmfu
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GjgGWOpksEw&feature=related
2. The characters I mentioned were from a TV show called "Firefly", which followed the misadventures of a group of space smugglers.
3. Ramsus mentioning a Straight Man and a Face were referring to two characters from the show that I didn't mention: Zoe, a straightforward soldier-type who is steadfastly loyal to the captain, and Inara, a courtesan who gives the ship and crew an air of legitimacy (it makes sense in context).

4. I don't know why Tiffany wouldn't want to be voiced by Christopher Walken, you'd have to ask her.

You might be right about the kids though. And I don't think Lizzie would be as...welcoming to Skitter as we are.
Bronymous 21st Jul 2012, 2:23 PM edit delete reply
Bronymous
I was actually familiar with Firefly, at least in that it was a show- I saw Serenity. I just didn't know the characters. Or the actors.

Meanwhile, someone need to come pull us out of a hole, because it looks like neither of us are going to be able to.
Lyntermas 21st Jul 2012, 2:35 PM edit delete reply
Lyntermas
It's on our to-do list. Right after subduing the cultists and finding (just finding) the bomb or whatever they had.
Bronymous 21st Jul 2012, 2:49 PM edit delete reply
Bronymous
Yay, nap time in a dark dank hole.
Zarhon 21st Jul 2012, 2:51 PM edit delete reply
Zarhon
R & T

Perception
4 - 5 = -1 (T)
16 + 8 - 5 = 19 (H)

Tiffany can't see a thing in this darkness. Horizon's eyes adjust enough to inspect the features of the area they're in: The rooms walls are a mix of dirt, stone slabs and wood, while the floor is dirt. Lichen grows on a few areas. A big wooden beam is stuck between the floor and the roof, acting as a support for the wooden stairs and the attic. There are a bunch of old, half-broken crates, containing chair legs, old rugs and other items scattered about, as well as some old furniture. A small, simple door is on one end of the room, obscured behind a closet. Rats can be heard, skittering about.

S & R

The other cultist groans in pain as the sword enters his chest, coughing up some blood. He's not dead yet, but he's probably going to be in a few minutes. You can hear some commotion where the paladin went, as well as the loud snoring of the sleeping man.
Ramsus 21st Jul 2012, 2:59 PM edit delete reply
Ramsus
Skitter looks at Rolf and says, "Oops?" Then he turns to the other cultist and says, "I'd suggest you tell us everything. You never know when we might have another little accident."
Kris_The_Guest 21st Jul 2012, 3:03 PM edit delete reply
Kris_The_Guest
Tiffany sat up, hearing the rats. "Okay, wee need to get out of here." She stated out loud, trying to get her eyes to adjust.

Eh, maybe I'll do a little background story for Tiffany but it will be a flash back story thing.
Bronymous 21st Jul 2012, 3:17 PM edit delete reply
Bronymous
"What? Really? You think so?" Sarcasm oozed off of each word and Horizon stood, stretching. A few disconcerting cracks and pops echoed from underneath his armor, accompanied by a groan. He looked up towards the hole they had fallen through. "Well, we're not getting up that way with any ease. Let's try this way." He walked over to the door, but looked back when he realized he wasn't being followed. Tiffany just sat there, blinking and squinting in the dark. "Ugh, of course." Horizon walks back to her, grabbing her and pulling her to a standing position. "Now come with me, little girl, and don't let go of my hand," doing his best impression of an overprotective mother. He led her to the door, and tried opening it.

Commence door opening procedure.
Kris_The_Guest 21st Jul 2012, 3:39 PM edit delete reply
Kris_The_Guest
Tiffany huffed angrily as she was dragged over to the door.

Sorry, haven't been typing because I found a really good MLP Fan-fic called Retired to Equestria.
Crimson Doom 22nd Jul 2012, 5:39 AM edit delete reply
Crimson Doom
Love that fic. Freaking hilarious, it is. :D
Lyntermas 21st Jul 2012, 3:13 PM edit delete reply
Lyntermas
Rolf comes by and sees the cultist coughing up blood. He tries to think. He takes the towel off from around his waist and hands it to Skitter.

"Use this to tie his hands up, I'm going to wake up the cleric." He turns to the cultist "You'd best do as he says, or he might show you that "heal pain heal pain" trick one of my friends did on the last cultist."

He rushes over to the cleric. If he remembered his training, shaking or slapping someone was enough to stir someone from a Sleep spell. He started to slap the cleric across the face. "Wake up, sir, we've got a job for you to do."
Kris_The_Guest 21st Jul 2012, 4:32 PM edit delete reply
Kris_The_Guest
Whelp, this is my first attempt at typing up a story after a while. Tell me if I need to edit anything.

A seven-year old Tiffany walked through the shallow water of the river, grabbing small smooth rocks and placing them in a basket she carried on her left arm. She was planning on taking them home, drying them off, and painting simple symbols on them and pretending that they were magic gems that could grant wishes or fire fireballs. She mostly collected the rocks she needed when her father was reading these weird notes he got about once a month.

When she decided that she had enough, she started walking out of the water. Unfortunately, her journey was interrupted by the local boys. They were completely convinced that she was a witch due to her fascination with weird stories and old magic. She tried to avoid them but she had no such luck as the leader of their group, a boy with shaggy brown hair and slightly built body spotted her and grabbed a rock.

“Hey! It’s the witch! Get her!” He yelled with a whoop and holler. All the other boys looked up in response.

Soon, Tiffany was running through some wooded are that was rumored to have badgers. She could feel rocks and sticks pelting her as she saw a little drop off a little off the path. She took a sharp turn for it and jumped down it, carefully sliding to the bottom. Tiffany panted slightly, looking up to see the angry boys stop right at the edge and stare at something. Tiffany followed there gaze and saw something furry and wolf-like.

Whatever it was, it looked at her with glowing red eyes, blood dripping down it’s muzzle. She looked at what it was crouched over and screamed as the monster jumped for her.


Will I reveal the rest of the flash back? Who knows?
Zarhon 21st Jul 2012, 4:34 PM edit delete reply
Zarhon
(You left the vampiric Kobold in charge of bleeding wound treatment?)

H & T

There's a big closet in the way of the door. It stands firm, waiting for your move. You feel as though it is silently judging you.

R & S

The cleric wakes up easily.

"Ow! What the big idea?! Wait, where am I?"

Rolf quickly explains that a man is wounded and needs medical assistance.

"Medical assistance? What-"

He looks around a bit, taking note of the greased floor, a cultist lying on the floor at the other side of the hallway, and the heavily bleeding cultist with a sword in his chest, as well as the kobold standing over him, wrapping his wound and glancing at it in a oddly disturbing fashion.

He sighs heavily, in a way that suggest he's seen this sort of thing before and is about to be buried under a mountain of chores against his will.

"I'll help the man, but I'd like an explanation of who the hell you are, and why are there stabbed men in our temple!"
Bronymous 21st Jul 2012, 4:43 PM edit delete reply
Bronymous
News travels fast around here, huh? Seriously, it has to be about midnight just after an explosion rocked the town center and there was a large fire just outside the temple. You'd think they'd be on some kind of alert or something.

Horizon stares at the large closet, debating whether to open it, push it aside, or just smash it. Deciding that stealth still might be a viable option, he opens it hoping to be able to find something of value.
Lyntermas 21st Jul 2012, 4:46 PM edit delete reply
Lyntermas
Rolf sighed. One more time now. "My name is Rolf; I was a last minute actor for the play. This is Skitter; he's with me. The men in robes are necromancers working under a lich named Zilean. They have created bombs that can create large explosions and then zombify the dead. We stopped them from hurting the audience of the play, but they successfully blew up the bar, and we believed they had similar designs on the temple. We have means of finding the bomb, but questioning them would make things easier. As a side note, you wouldn't happen to know the source of that very large roar we heard, would you?"

edit: What is the time frame of everything happening? Did the play start in the afternoon, or evening?
Kris_The_Guest 21st Jul 2012, 4:50 PM edit delete reply
Kris_The_Guest
Bleh, someone needs to keep a time table.

Also, I put a small story from Tiffany's past up before Zarhon's latest update..
Bronymous 21st Jul 2012, 4:50 PM edit delete reply
Bronymous
Last I thought, we all arrived at the temple at dusk-ish, so late afternoon, early evening. And there's no way we haven't been here for less than a few hours.

Edit: Don't get impatient, I'll have comments for it when it's a little more fleshed out.
Lyntermas 21st Jul 2012, 6:20 PM edit delete reply
Lyntermas
Looking over Tiffany's story, and I need more details. Is this when Tiffany first learned her brother was a werewolf? Is her brother in control of his faculties while he's like this?

Don't leave us hanging here!
Kris_The_Guest 21st Jul 2012, 6:32 PM edit delete reply
Kris_The_Guest
But I'm not sure where I should go from there. I was going to leave it ambiguous and up to the imagination.
Bronymous 21st Jul 2012, 6:46 PM edit delete reply
Bronymous
Imagination is nice, but some direction is necessary; otherwise, assumptions might be made that just don't follow in the long term. Besides, its your story, you shouldn't let pleasing people get in the way of telling it the way you see it.

If you need some suggestions, a decent plot point is that her brother appears to save her from the wolf, and as he fights it off while she escapes, THAT'S when he gets infected. Or, if you're looking for something a little less cliche, maybe she manages to kill it (your call as to how), leading to an investigation on werewolf sightings in the area.

BTW, Horizon backstory in process. It's a long one. I'll probably just post a link rather than wall-o-text it on here.
Ramsus 21st Jul 2012, 7:32 PM edit delete reply
Ramsus
I would do a Skitter backstory but...really it's probably better off left to the imagination. It probably wasn't too dramatic of a life until recently anyhow.
Zarhon 21st Jul 2012, 7:34 PM edit delete reply
Zarhon
You arrived at the play a few hours before noon. Zilean blew it up shortly afterwards. About 1-2hrs passed since then. As for the alert, the peeps inside the temple couldn't have seen what happened if they were in it, and would assume the noise as part of the celebrations. As for the rest... You'll see.

R & S

"Did you say Zilean?! But.. it's impossible! We made sure! And the bombs, that's not his method. He'd certainly have reason to go after the temple though... I'll stabilize the man. As for the roar... Sounds like Lizzie. She used to be the war mount of our saint, back during the age of Zilean's tyranny. She's normally calm and docile though...

He proceeds to cast some basic healing magic on his wound, allowing the sword to be removed safely.

T & H

You open the closet. There's a big red robe inside, in surprisingly good condition. In fact, the whole closet seems to be padded with red on the inside.
Lyntermas 21st Jul 2012, 8:11 PM edit delete reply
Lyntermas
Rolf considered this information. Well, that explains why a "Lizzie" would need 50 trips worth of meat...for a month. Hmm, large roar + eats lots of meat + used as a mount = he really should find out what happened to the others. He'd have to make this quick.

"I'm going to check the room the cultists came out of for the bomb," Rolf said hurriedly. "Skitter, you interrogate this brute to see if there are any more surprises in store or if he knows more about the 'Master Plan'. And find out which one has the delicate yellow potion." He started to go through the door, stopped, then turned and said, "Oh, Skitter, we don't want to stain these temple floor with necromancer blood. You might want to wring that towel out over a chalice and...dispose of it elsewhere."

Rolf entered the room, dug out the amulet, put it up to his eye, and started looking around.
Bronymous 21st Jul 2012, 8:20 PM edit delete reply
Bronymous
Aww,you stole my idea! I was gonna give him a chalice full of blood, too.

"Dibs." Horizon grabbed the robe and examined it briefly, before stuffing it into his large back pouch. There would be more time to get a better look at it later, when there was more light. Looking at he exquisite interior of the wardrobe, he begins to feel around the padding for anything hidden.

Whether he finds anything or not, he then proceeds to try and push it out of the way of the door.
Zarhon 21st Jul 2012, 8:36 PM edit delete reply
Zarhon
H & T

As you grab the robe, you suddenly realise it very squishy. And sticky. Your hand is glued to it. Suddenly, large hand sprouts from the sides of the closet. They grab you, and try to push you into the closet. You suddenly realize that the red padding *isn't* red padding...
Lyntermas 21st Jul 2012, 8:39 PM edit delete reply
Lyntermas
Ohh, mimic time! Yeah, the "silently judging you" line should have made me more suspicious. Have fun with that.
Kris_The_Guest 21st Jul 2012, 8:49 PM edit delete reply
Kris_The_Guest
Tiffany screamed before taking out her hammer and trying to smash the 'tongue' and the hands.
Bronymous 21st Jul 2012, 8:47 PM edit delete reply
Bronymous
Oh god dammit. I wasn't even trying to be reckless that time!

"Oh, god dammit, I wasn't even trying to be reckless this time!" Horizon pulled back against the living wardrobe. "Tiff! Hit it! For the love of me hit it as hard as you can! Smash it!" He kicked out at the door, doing little to discourage it, and decided juts to brace himself against it. With his free hand he reached for his Scimitar, and swung it at the abomination's "hand".

Roll to hit, roll to keep from getting ate.

And while you're thinking about it, have backstory. I just remembered I don't know how to post links, so get ready for a text wall.
Bronymous 21st Jul 2012, 10:50 PM edit delete reply
Bronymous
Everyone read the story, right?

Replacing it. Too much verbage.

Edit: Well look at that. Delete a comment, and responses drop to a new thread. Mystery solved.
Crimson Doom 22nd Jul 2012, 5:44 AM edit delete reply
Crimson Doom
Oh, wow. Wolverine, move over, there's a new tragic antihero in town!
Lyntermas 22nd Jul 2012, 7:02 AM edit delete reply
Lyntermas
Skitter, you might modify your argument by letting the awake cultist get to choose. If he doesn't answer by the time you count to five, YOU pick which one he drinks. 50-50, or 100 percent chance of the most excruciating pain (as opposed to slightly less excruciating pain), his choice.
BadHorse 22nd Jul 2012, 7:16 AM edit delete reply
I do not approve.

Skitter should be Moist.
Zarhon 22nd Jul 2012, 9:18 AM edit delete reply
Zarhon
Post your actions here Skitter. Will the interrogation against the one guy be a bluff check, or a intimidate check?

H & T

6 + 5 = 11 (T)
13 + 8 = 21 (H)

Both Tiffany's hammer and Horizon's Kukri strike true. Horzion's kukri, whilst ineffective against it's pseudo-wooden composition, it leaves a small gash in it, to which the mimic responds with pain. Tiffany then smashes the spot with her hammer, causing the appendage to let go of Horizon. The closet starts gnashing with it's insides, which has now taken to form of a gigantic featureless maw, with teeth lining it's edges. The red coat has now taken the appearance of a large uvula. It stubby little feet slowly move towards you, while it's other hand extends slightly, trying to reach you. The hand you hurt looks limp and is retreating into itself.
Kris_The_Guest 22nd Jul 2012, 9:52 AM edit delete reply
Kris_The_Guest
Tiffany thought quickly, grabbing a piece of wood and throwing it at the uvula.
Bronymous 22nd Jul 2012, 10:02 AM edit delete reply
Bronymous
Scimitar. I'm using my scimitar right now. A little bit heavier than a kukri. Anyway.

His other hand now free, Horizon drew his other weapon, and started moving around the mimic to the door. If nothing else, they could at least Flank it, and bust it up a little more easily.
Ramsus 22nd Jul 2012, 10:23 AM edit delete reply
Ramsus
Tired right now so...just modify speech to fit situation.

Bluff since that's the one Skitter has training in.

Edit: *kicks the guy who said Moist*
Bronymous 22nd Jul 2012, 10:30 AM edit delete reply
Bronymous
Ha ha. Moist. What?

Edit: Oh wait. Bad Horse. I get what's going on here.
Lyntermas 22nd Jul 2012, 11:20 AM edit delete reply
Lyntermas
Well if we need something official for Skitter...

Right, so, Mr. Stupidhead, you are going to tell me everything you know or..." and at this Skitter pulls out two vials, one red, one blue. "You will take one of these. One of these will give you stomach cramps, and in a few hours it will quickly come out, one way or the other. The other will make you feel like you're getting poked with firey needles everywhere for the next 12 hours. You won't die, but you'll wish you could. If you tell me the truth, you might only get the cramps potion. If you tell me lots of truth, you might not take any potion. If you don't answer in the next 10 seconds, or I think you're lying, I'll force the firey needle potion down your throat."

Skitter wished the cleric would go away. If he weren't around he could have a drop to drink. Also there'd be no chance he'd identify the "potions" as rust scrapings and berries. It was a shame but, he hadn't really had a chance to collect any proper ingredients yet. He made a mental note to keep an eye out for any herbs, salves, incenses, and the like. Such things could often be....re-purposed.


(Roll for Bluff, high ranks for Skitter)

One thing confuses me. I thought that Horizon had high ranks in Intimidate, but when he was using Intimidate against Lizzie, I didn't see any +8 bonus. Oh, well, moving on.

edit: Ramsus, I was just trying to follow your general intent. If you've got your own idea, I can just erase this post.
Zarhon 22nd Jul 2012, 12:13 PM edit delete reply
Zarhon
He didn't have an intimidate bonus because Lizzie gave him a -8 penalty (Because she's no pussy, so to speak. She's covered wars, you know.), evening it out. He's have a penalty in fact, if he didn't try the whole "No helmet, superior being" thing.

R & S

14 + 8 = 22

He doesn't try to call your bluff. He painfully says that their master sent them to place a device in a secret tunnel. He says that the entrance is inside the room they just came from, but he's not sure how to open it from this side.

T & H

Throw - 15 + 5 = 20

You throw a sharp piece of wood from a crate at the uvula, like a spear. It pierces through the fabric-like mass, embedding itself in it. It reacts with pain, closing its doors and concealing the mouth.



(Horizon, where are you standing now, compared to it?)
Lyntermas 22nd Jul 2012, 12:21 PM edit delete reply
Lyntermas
Yeah, I could see how it's rather difficult to scare down a battle-hardened lioness twice your size.

But Rolf's already in the room that the cultists came out of. Does he see the device? (I'm still looking through the amulet)

Roll for Perception.
Bronymous 22nd Jul 2012, 3:50 PM edit delete reply
Bronymous
If Tiff and the mimic are facing each other, Horizon is roughly 90 degrees clockwise around the mimic (Tiffany's front left, Mimic's immediate right.)
Bronymous 22nd Jul 2012, 5:32 PM edit delete reply
Bronymous
Where is everybody....
Lyntermas 22nd Jul 2012, 5:36 PM edit delete reply
Lyntermas
I'm here, you're there, Skitter's tired, and I don't know where Zarhon is. Also, you've got a 50-50 chance of having to dodge a sapient closet that's about to fall on you.
Bronymous 22nd Jul 2012, 5:41 PM edit delete reply
Bronymous
Aha, reflex = DEX. If I fail dodging a cabinet, then I'm calling bullshit on that dice roller.
Ramsus 22nd Jul 2012, 6:21 PM edit delete reply
Ramsus
(Actually I was just tired then because I had just woken up (late). I've been gone most of the day.)

If Rolf isn't going into the room the cultist meant then Skitter will tell the cleric to watch the two cultists and teleport into the room. If Rolf is, Skitter will just shout out what the cultist just told him.
Bronymous 22nd Jul 2012, 6:40 PM edit delete reply
Bronymous
aaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! SO BORED. Somebody post something.


Besides Ramsus.
Kris_The_Guest 22nd Jul 2012, 6:46 PM edit delete reply
Kris_The_Guest
Boo. I've been reading more Fan-fic and surprisingly, one of them made me cry more than once....and it wasn't meant to.

Edit : Now it's making me cry for Gilda....This story is good!
Warning! It's very long.
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/12350/Griffin-the-Griffin
Lyntermas 22nd Jul 2012, 6:52 PM edit delete reply
Lyntermas
*sigh* I've got another filler backstory for Rolf that I can post. Give me a bit to write it up.
Bronymous 22nd Jul 2012, 6:54 PM edit delete reply
Bronymous
Marko! Što to radiš? Želim igrati!
Ramsus 22nd Jul 2012, 7:01 PM edit delete reply
Ramsus
Yeah, love you too man. >_<
Bronymous 22nd Jul 2012, 7:06 PM edit delete reply
Bronymous
What? I was acknowledging that you posted something.
Ramsus 22nd Jul 2012, 8:27 PM edit delete reply
Ramsus
Suuuuuuuuure. That's what they all say.
Lyntermas 22nd Jul 2012, 10:18 PM edit delete reply
Lyntermas
Alright, everyone. Today's story: Magic Kindergarten
Ramsus 22nd Jul 2012, 10:32 PM edit delete reply
Ramsus
And once again your version of things is way outside my "normal" expectations of the setting. Neat though.
Bronymous 22nd Jul 2012, 10:37 PM edit delete reply
Bronymous
Based on the title... oh fuck it, of course its gonna be good. reading.

Edit: haha, Derpy Longbottom sucks at magic!
Lyntermas 22nd Jul 2012, 11:54 PM edit delete reply
Lyntermas
...You know, I was going to leave it ambiguous about the exact reason for failure. And I deliberately invoked the Derpy reference.

But saying Rolf sucks at magic? And daring to compare him with early-books Neville Longbottom?

Now I'm just writing this out of spite.

Also, see if you can find the joke I made about Hogwarts in the previous story.
Ramsus 23rd Jul 2012, 12:15 AM edit delete reply
Ramsus
That was so sappy I think I'm going to vomit. ;)
Lyntermas 23rd Jul 2012, 12:23 AM edit delete reply
Lyntermas
Yeah, a bit cliche, but I want to get across that he's not a bad wizard, just generally unlucky. And let's just say that while the pep talk worked on a 5-year old, it's not so good when the story follows you through school, as you'll see in the next story. Oops, did I say that out loud?
Ramsus 23rd Jul 2012, 12:40 AM edit delete reply
Ramsus
Hey, you weren't supposed to take my comment seriously. You were supposed to help me cause an avalanche of puns!
Zarhon 23rd Jul 2012, 3:23 AM edit delete reply
Zarhon
(How long did it take you to look that up, Brony? :p )

R & S

Perception -> 9

Rolf enters the room the cultist came out of, scanning it with his gem. He doesn't see any of the cultist devices, and the gem doesn't reveal anything. The whole room smells of cherries, and there are small red stains from some liquid around the floor.

Skitter usefully relays the information you both heard already to Rolf, as though reciting to a confused child.

H & T

Horizon -> Nat1 + 8 - 3
(Yeah, this dice roller was made by Gygax.)

The closet pulls back its arm into itself. A second later, it swiftly protrudes it from its side, punching straight ahead at Horizon. It hits like a miniature battering ram straight in the gut, slightly bending his armor inwards and forcing him to his knee. The hand uses the opportunity to grab a hold of him again.

(Closet is roughly facing tiffany slightly on its left in the distance, Horizon is on it's right, held by arm. Doors/maw is closed)

Kris_The_Guest 23rd Jul 2012, 4:08 AM edit delete reply
Kris_The_Guest
"Stop it or you'll get more bruises!" Tiffany cried as she tried to hit the hand.
Lyntermas 23rd Jul 2012, 7:16 AM edit delete reply
Lyntermas
"I heard it the first time, Skitter," Rolf yelled back to Skitter. Dang it all, that means that they must have already hidden it in the tunnels and closed the entrance behind them. He looked at the ground. Red liquid that smells like cherries....

Rolf walked out of the room. "Skitter, I want you to check this room for secret passages. If you can't find any in there, check the room with the journal I was telling you about before." He turned to the cleric. "Do you have any rope or gags that we could use to restrain the cultists? Also, do you know where a Brother Silas is? We might need his help."


So sorry, Ramsus. Your range of humor branches much more than mine. I'm afraid that my jokes are a bit wooden at times. I'm afraid that finding similar points of humor between us would be like comparing apples and oranges . My talent mostly lies in writing compostitions. Your skill at witty repartee makes me green with envy.

edit: I really hope that Brother Silas wasn't supposed to be in that bolted room, or else we've got another mystery on our hands.
Jason Shadow 23rd Jul 2012, 9:02 AM edit delete reply
Jason Shadow
So begins the story of Rolf Windsley and the Necromancer's Phylactery...

[Magic Kindergarten]
Bronymous 23rd Jul 2012, 9:46 AM edit delete reply
Bronymous
I'm pretty sure I already got the Hogwarts reference) the stairs and ghosts and whatnot?). And retcon story aside, how many spells has he pulled off correctly so far in this campaign again? A magic missile or two and some prestidigitation.

And don't get too excited Zarhon. Took all of 10 seconds on Google translate. I don't imagine the grammar is flawless.

Now, as to the issue at hand: Oh, What The Fuck? Shenanigans on the Dice. Shenanigans. This is ridiculous.

Horizon takes a moment to recover from having the wind knocked out of him. As he begins to feel the pull of the hand again, he does his best to stab, hack, and cut at it with both weapons.

Roll successive hits, at least 2 before Tiff reaches the arm and attempts to hit it.
Lyntermas 23rd Jul 2012, 9:48 AM edit delete reply
Lyntermas
Oh I pull the spells off just fine. It's the aiming that kills me.

Also, one of the problems with Hogwarts is that there's really a small amount of jobs they can actually go into. The wizard community seems to enforce its own isolation by focusing on nothing but magic. This comedy article explains it better.
Bronymous 23rd Jul 2012, 9:55 AM edit delete reply
Bronymous
Also, you were a loser and a nerd waay back when you started, but now apparently you're hot enough to make females forget all about the zombies and everything.

Something like this?

Edit: lol that article.
Lyntermas 23rd Jul 2012, 10:02 AM edit delete reply
Lyntermas
...You do have a point there. Meh, I'll keep the retcon anyway. Although I don't know if I'm attractive to ALL girls or just Tiffany at this point. I've got a few more stories to tell, namely how Rolf made friends with the Thieves Guild, and his first Wizard's Duel, where he perfected his primary battle strategy.
Bronymous 23rd Jul 2012, 10:10 AM edit delete reply
Bronymous
Note: From now on the role of Rolf is being played by... that guy.

No homo, I think it will only make the game that much better.
Lyntermas 23rd Jul 2012, 10:19 AM edit delete reply
Lyntermas
Who, adult Neville? Well, when they start casting for the movie version of " CAMPAIGN: Zilean's Revenge", we'll be sure to contact his agent.

As for his CHARACTER, I must admit I only really read the first book, so I wouldn't know how to imitate him.
Bronymous 23rd Jul 2012, 10:27 AM edit delete reply
Bronymous
Not important. He just looks like that from now on.
Lyntermas 23rd Jul 2012, 10:34 AM edit delete reply
Lyntermas
Hmmm. Stick some blue contacts on and we'll call it good.
Ramsus 23rd Jul 2012, 11:19 AM edit delete reply
Ramsus
You know, there's a simple solution for his looks. Even if it weren't natural...he's a friggin wizard. He could have just cast a magical plastic surgery spell on himself. =P

Edit: Oh right.

Skitter goes to search in the indicated places. (Can he just take 20?)
Lyntermas 23rd Jul 2012, 2:21 PM edit delete reply
Lyntermas
I..I don't need an update right now. I can stop hitting F5 whenever I want. I DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM!

I'm not sure about magical cosmetic surgery, Ramsus. Spells like Alter Self or Polymorph would require constant maintenance, unless you had an item that maintained the effect for you. Rolf probably isn't vain enough to think that such a spell is worth it if it only lasts a half an hour at a time.

But, really, Rolf doesn't need to look like a sex god or whatever. If you want to visualize him as adult-Neville, fine, but I don't think "all the girls falling over him" is a real part of his character.
Bronymous 23rd Jul 2012, 2:27 PM edit delete reply
Bronymous
Dont worry, he's on it. finally

No, it wouldn't be a part of his character. But it explains what I expect we will be seeing of Tiffany in the future, as opposed to less-than-popular-half-nerd-wizard.
Zarhon 23rd Jul 2012, 2:29 PM edit delete reply
Zarhon
S & R

Search -> 14

You search the room thoroughly. The closet has a stained robe, but no secret comparment, like the previous one. The bed doesn't have anything under its pillow. You don't see anything that could serve as a lever. The bed you try to move, but fail to do so. The chest is locked. You do notice that one of the stains is weird looking... Its directly next to a wall between the bed and the chest, but not actually *on* the wall itself, if it was splashed in such a way.

The Cleric responds to Rolf:
"Silas you say? He's undergoing a ritual after an... incident he was responsible for. He's forbidden from seeing or talking to anyone for a month, eating only bread and water. But if it's an emergency, you can find him in one of the rites rooms, down that hall. That room your friend is in is his usual quarters, by the way."

*He points at the metal door on the end of the hall*

H & T

You slash with both your weapons. Tiffany charges at it as well.

7 (H)
13 (H)
2 (T)

Your kukri misses, but your scimitar doesn't. You make a gash in the other arm. It's in pain, but not enough to drop you. Tiffany charges, but the hand bends out of the way of the hammer. It tries to smash you with Horizon, still holding him.

Mimic -> 16

The close proximity and scale of attack makes it impossible for it to miss. It knocks Tiffany sideways, bruising Horizon slightly as well. It opens its doors to laugh at her.
Bronymous 23rd Jul 2012, 2:40 PM edit delete reply
Bronymous
Horizon groans for second, but can't help but join the killer cabinet in a slight laugh as he spies Tiffany struggle to keep her balance, before she bounces off the wall. As she regains her composure, so does he, and he resumes his attack, stabbing at the hand with both weapons as viciously as possible.

Roll for stabsies: Scimitar, 19. Kukri,3.
Kris_The_Guest 23rd Jul 2012, 2:46 PM edit delete reply
Kris_The_Guest
Tiffany yelped in pain before looking down at her armor.
Zarhon 23rd Jul 2012, 2:51 PM edit delete reply
Zarhon
It reels from the pain of the scimitar (the kukri didn't hit it at the right angle), letting you go. It turns to you, then quickly turns towards Tiffany and starts hopping towards her, doors closing and opening wildly, its whole frame shaking and wobbling as it jumps from one stubby leg to another. It nearly tips over at one point.
Bronymous 23rd Jul 2012, 3:01 PM edit delete reply
Bronymous
Oh, here we go.

Waiting for his ideal moment, he times his start with the wobbling. He takes a running leap at the mimic, and plants both feet firmly into its side as it rocks on one leg.

Roll to knock it on its side: 17 (+DEX, I think, maybe? up to you).
Lyntermas 23rd Jul 2012, 3:00 PM edit delete reply
Lyntermas
Rolf thanked the cleric, went down to the metal door at the end of the hall, and knocked. "Brother Silas, my name is Rolf Towden. I understand you are currently in isolation, but this is an emergency. Necromancers are attacking the city, and we believe that they have planted a device capable of blowing up the temple somewhere in the secret passages. We also believe that you...have knowledge of these passages and how to access them. We ask you to please help us in this time of need."

(Roll for Diplomacy, if necessary).

Skitter, trying just pushing on that wall with the half-stain if possible. I think Silas will help us, so if nothing else, use that towel to get a drink while you're out of sight.

Tiffany, GO FOR THE MOUTH, GO FOR THE MOUTH.
edit: or the legs. go for the legs.

Bronymous, I think I might have Rolf lose his less-than-popular-half-nerd status after he meets up with the Thieves Guild in my stories.

edit: Update avalanche. Wooo!
Zarhon 23rd Jul 2012, 3:15 PM edit delete reply
Zarhon
R

Rolf opens the door, revealing another hall, decked with various different doors, all regally decorated. One of them has yellow silk padding on it. Another has a stained glass window, depicting a red droplet. A third is identical to the first one, only its padding is golden. A fourth is a regular door, but with a very delicately carved features, polish and expensive looking wood. And finally, the fifth is a metallic, secure-looking door. A magnificent rug lines the hall, and you can see that a pair of magical lights shine outside the stained-glass door.

T & H

Horizon tips the mimic over, causing it to first fall onto its side, then flat on its maw from its preserved momentum, revealing its bare wooden back. One of its doors is opened and wildly slapping the floor, the other is forced closed underneath it. It flails wildly, trying to hobble in that position, before deciding to use its hands to upright itself.


Lyntermas 23rd Jul 2012, 3:30 PM edit delete reply
Lyntermas
Rolf looked around the new hall in confusion. How many of these doors were there? He glanced over at the large metal door. It could hold Silas, or it could hold another "surprise" like Lizzie. He then turned his head toward the stained-glass door. If he was lucky, the magical lights outside meant that SOMEBODY was inside. He walked over to the stained-glass door and slowly opened it. "Brother Silas, are you in here?"
Bronymous 23rd Jul 2012, 3:30 PM edit delete reply
Bronymous
Hm well. I know what I would do. But I'll wait for some input from Tiffany before I do anything. See if she can come up with something.
Kris_The_Guest 23rd Jul 2012, 3:51 PM edit delete reply
Kris_The_Guest
Tiffany got up and just started hitting it with her hammer, hoping to smash it into small little pieces.
Ramsus 23rd Jul 2012, 4:24 PM edit delete reply
Ramsus
Skitter thinks, "Ah, secret passageway yes?" and tries to teleport to the other side of the wall as that odd spot between the bed and the chest.
Bronymous 23rd Jul 2012, 5:48 PM edit delete reply
Bronymous
OK. I was expecting "run out of the room while its on the ground". But I guess she's gonna kill it.

Horizon scrambled back from the thrashing mimic, and stood. He watched as Tiffany approached it and began beating it mercilessly. As the fake wood began to splinter and bruise, he moved around behind it, and did his best to curb stomp its legs to pieces.

13 to shatter legs.
Lyntermas 23rd Jul 2012, 6:18 PM edit delete reply
Lyntermas
We are so split up right now.

*Rolf opens door to hall where cultists and cleric are*
Rolf: Skitter, where are you? I finally found Silas. Now we'll be able to navigate the...
*Around the corner comes Horizon, Skitter, and Tiffany. Tiffany is holding the alchemist cylinder*
Rolf:....Well, I just wasted an hour of my time.
Lyntermas 23rd Jul 2012, 7:58 PM edit delete reply
Lyntermas
Will Horizon and Tiffany manage to defeat the mimic? Will Skitter be able to find the secret passage to the hidden treasure room (which will be stripped bare in seconds)? Will Rolf figure out what spell was in that orb? And will Beady Jack have a happy birthday after all?

Find out on the next exciting episode of Campaign: Zilean's Revenge
Bronymous 23rd Jul 2012, 8:24 PM edit delete reply
Bronymous
Will the necromancers be defeated? Will Horizon finally manage to kill himself, but look just absolutely cool doing it? Will Tiffany ever learn what that tingly feeling down there is all about? Will our backstories come into play, or were they just experiments in creative writing? Will Skitter get over his daddy issues? And how long before Lizzie gets skinned and eaten by an angry man and a giddy rat-lizard-thing, while the others watch?
Lyntermas 23rd Jul 2012, 8:30 PM edit delete reply
Lyntermas
Well, considering you probably have to roll a Save against Fear every time you come into Lizzie's presence from now on, we might to wait a long, long time.
Bronymous 23rd Jul 2012, 9:23 PM edit delete reply
Bronymous
I will not. It was a temporary breakdown in bearing, and I'll know what to expect next time. When I outright attack it. And kill it. And eat it. Because fuck that cat.

You know, just as soon as we get some better dice.
Lyntermas 23rd Jul 2012, 10:11 PM edit delete reply
Lyntermas
I think she'll either live or be a full boss battle. You know why? Because she's one of the five NPCs in this campaign who actually have names. Hell, we don't even know the name of the darn saint that killed Zilean the first time, even though we've seen a play and a tapestry about him, but we know Lizzie's name.

Which makes me somewhat nervous about what will happen when we run into Sister Ivy.
Calypso 23rd Jul 2012, 11:43 PM edit delete reply
You will walk in to a room coated with vines. A red headed green woman in a green leotard made of creepers will be waiting for you.
Ramsus 23rd Jul 2012, 11:49 PM edit delete reply
Ramsus
Mmmm red vines.
Zarhon 24th Jul 2012, 7:36 AM edit delete reply
Zarhon
You guys make the best comments.
Kris_The_Guest 24th Jul 2012, 8:58 AM edit delete reply
Kris_The_Guest
Yeah, we can be insane.
Akouma 21st Jul 2012, 6:09 PM edit delete reply
Akouma
Funny story there. A friend once ran a Marvel Universe RPG campaign based on the cartoon Gargoyles. My character was the smashiest of smashy, had no mind for strategy nor patience to listen to others' plans, and had roughly the same social graces as a bear who has recently lost a fight with a lawnmower and is out for revenge. Needless to say, I was a problem in that game because with my ludicrous strength and my ludicrous points in the Unstoppable power, there wasn't much that she could reasonably say I COULDN'T smash, and my solution to every problem was to smash things until they ceased to be a problem.

At one point, she literally balanced an important encounter on the assumption that I liked smashing things, because my character also had a tendency to smash things just for funsies, too. she dangled a carrot in the form of a really nice, fancy, easily-smashed car right in front of the building we were about to storm for whatever reason I can't remember. It would've made a TON of noise, been an excellent distraction, and I would've been A-OK in the retaliation from security because I was the tankiest guy on the team. Naturally, this is the ONE TIME my character decides to sit and listen to the plan and actually FOLLOW it.

I think she's still a little mad about that one. Can't say I blame her. =p
Bronymous 21st Jul 2012, 6:41 PM edit delete reply
Bronymous
Ha. That'll teach her to bet on Player behavior.
Destrustor 21st Jul 2012, 7:11 PM edit delete reply
I'm currently playing a "mage of mass destruction" (a class I invented) in pathfinder. My character is absolutely insanely obsessed with explosions, to the point where I'm probably the easiest person in the world to manipulate.
I switched sides at least three times now, with the only argument I need being "I'll let you blow stuff up".
Actual quotes:
"-This is a very important and dangerous mission. You will need to go beyond the enemy lines and read this scroll, which will produce a huge explosion of-
-I'm in!
-But you didn't let me finish my-
-Idon'tcareyousaidexplosionI'min!"
Also(and this happened this very night):
Super-powerful holy priest-like lady about to fight my super-powerful half-god boss tells me:
"-You are not evil, you may step back and not be hurt.
-If I step back will there be more or less explosions in the fight?
My boss:"probably less"
-Then I stay."
It's actually so much fun being so predictable. Or maybe it's having a character based solely around the idea of blasting the world to pieces. My character once died and the time he spent in the afterlife consisted of listening to a debate to decide whether he was evil or just stupidly insane. They wanted to make sure they didn't send an innocent fool to hell. When the others brought me back and asked how the afterlife was, my answer was just "boring! there weren't even any explosions!"
So a trap like this laid out for me would certainly succeed.
kriss1989 21st Jul 2012, 7:29 PM edit delete reply
kriss1989
My internets are back! Now to read the old comics and catch up.
LoganAura 21st Jul 2012, 9:21 PM edit delete reply
LoganAura
This is probably too low for anypony to read, but here's a quick summary of what happened in my campaign so far.
1.)Group met up with mysterious unicorn.
2.)Mysterious Unicorn sent them to loot the Mane 6's houses while they were out of town.
3.)Group steals diaries and very important items from Mane 6's houses.
4.)Mysterious Unicorn admits to being a former member of a cult.
5.)The Wizard tried analyzing a spell and ended up casting it.
6.)He watched himself implode in an alternate universe.
7.)Mysterious Unicorn scarred the Paladin for life by describing him as a mare.
Lyntermas 21st Jul 2012, 9:37 PM edit delete reply
Lyntermas
Is this party TRYING to be evil? Or is breaking into ponies' houses just "something they do"? And was the "alternate universe" a retcon, or a potential threat that this Wizard must try and avoid in his universe?
LoganAura 21st Jul 2012, 9:51 PM edit delete reply
LoganAura
I'm just making them sound evil aren't I XD All of these actions were for the good of equestria.
Well, except for scarring the paladin for life. That was just the Unicorn being Brash.
And no, the 'alternate universe' was neither of those.
Crimson Doom 22nd Jul 2012, 5:48 AM edit delete reply
Crimson Doom
Hey, you forgot my abysmal rolls, such that the two times I rolled anything higher than a 10, it was for something resolved through roleplaying anyway! I'd burn my dice if I weren't using the Dice Bag from the d20 site.
kriss1989 22nd Jul 2012, 6:39 AM edit delete reply
kriss1989
Paladin, I can't be evil. In fact, my goodness is so much that so far I've refused to read Rarity's diary, even though it holds a clue to saving the entire multiverse, because it's a mare's private thoughts and I really shouldn't go reading other ponies diaries without permission.
LoganAura 22nd Jul 2012, 7:12 AM edit delete reply
LoganAura
Also, Our first Cutie Mark Critical has been rolled!
Congrats City on her 20 for Perception!
Aaand she proceeded to throw a bit of planned stuff out by the wayside. Ah well. This works out better o3o.
City Strider 22nd Jul 2012, 2:25 PM edit delete reply
City Strider
Hehe... My d20 was being so bipolar. 6, 7, 14, 3, 17, 5, 18, 2, 20 or something like that was the order. I know I got the 2 and then the 20 immediately after.

Best epic timing, though.
LoganAura 22nd Jul 2012, 9:27 PM edit delete reply
LoganAura
True.
And I kinda have a desire to ship city and sun together from their last convo >_> *DM Canon stamp gets pushed aside with a 'nah'*
CMCs in my campaign are gonna be fun ^u^ I try to go all out, as city can probably attest to. The reason it wasn't all the way was because it was at 2 am or something.
Greywander 23rd Jul 2012, 12:33 AM edit delete reply
Greywander
I think the time I threatened to shove the key to Twilight's house down the "changeling son of a draconequus" plot NPC's "fat face" might qualify (my real faux pas was insulting his cards). To be fair, my character was feeling frustrated after totally failing to understand what the plot NPC was talking about. (I, on the other hand, was cracking up the whole time I was writing that little rant.)
Actually, I've rolled two natural 1's on cutie mark skills. The first being the above, the second was when I accidentally cast the spell I specifically didn't want to cast yet.

Also, I apparently can't Sense Motive worth anything, so perhaps diplomancy isn't my calling anyway.
City Strider 23rd Jul 2012, 1:51 PM edit delete reply
City Strider
Logan, you did fine with it. You were busy and I was quite able to integrate it smoothly into the post based on what you gave me. Also provided a lot of intriguing magical readings... City might take ranks in Spellcraft and Knowledge (Arcana) yet!

Also, methinks you mean Sun Flare :P

And yeah, Grey. Most online dice rollers need to be burned >.<
Lyntermas 21st Jul 2012, 9:35 PM edit delete reply
Lyntermas
Very nice, Bronymous. Pain, betrayal, and loss, a story fitting of the tortured soul of Horizon. One thing that confused me is that you called the elf Verdin when you introduced him, but you referred to him as Zervin afterward. Still, very engaging; good work.

edit: Zarhon, do Skitter and I hear Tiffany's scream?
Bronymous 21st Jul 2012, 9:55 PM edit delete reply
Bronymous
Oops. Fixed.

Also, I should make it clear that at this point, Horizon really isn't a "tortured soul" anymore. He's worked his way through his loss, mostly by killing lots of people. So the psychological damage is still there, but it doesn't bother him like it used to.

As he would put it, "The world is a terrible place. The easiest way to deal with it is to be the most terrible thing in it."
Zarhon 21st Jul 2012, 10:02 PM edit delete reply
Zarhon
You'd have to be near the wooden staircase for that. You're on opposite sides of the temple.
Lyntermas 21st Jul 2012, 10:06 PM edit delete reply
Lyntermas
Oh, so no rush then (other than finding out about Lizzie). Now all we have to do is wait for Skitter to start interrogations.
Ramsus 21st Jul 2012, 10:22 PM edit delete reply
Ramsus
"Right, so, you two morons are going to tell me everything you know or..." and at this Skitter pulls out two vials, one red, one blue. "You will each take one of these. In fact, the first one of you to start speaking gets to choose which vial the other guy takes. If I feel you're lying to me, you'll get the other vial. Don't worry though. Neither of them will kill you. No matter how badly you'd wish for it."

Skitter wished the cleric would go away. If he weren't around he could have a drop to drink. Also there'd be no chance he'd identify the "potions" as rust scrapings and berries. It was a shame but, he hadn't really had a chance to collect any proper ingredients yet. He made a mental note to keep an eye out for any herbs, salves, incenses, and the like. Such things could often be....re-purposed.
Bronymous 21st Jul 2012, 10:32 PM edit delete reply
Bronymous
Well, Rust vs Berries should serve your purpose pretty well regardless. Next say something about going down the Rabbit Hole.
Bronymous 21st Jul 2012, 10:44 PM edit delete reply
Bronymous
Be aware, I probably won't be on tomorrow. If I am it will either be very briefly during the day, or fairly late (locally. Board time +3 hours, so you know).
Zarhon 22nd Jul 2012, 5:52 AM edit delete reply
Zarhon
Just to clarify Skitter, the cultist that was used as a surfboard is super-KO'd (He got clobbered by a cudgel, enough to knock him out, and then crashed headfirst into a wall - You'll need something better than a few slaps to wake him from that. Not to mention he probably has a concussion now.).

edit: Bah, Lynt, you've separated the campaign. Skitter, repost your action in the proper place.
Lyntermas 22nd Jul 2012, 6:50 AM edit delete reply
Lyntermas
So to clarify, we're abandoning this lower streak and continuing on the upper. Got it.

And for the record, Bronymous separated the campaign by deleting his story. I was just the first comment after that.
Bronymous 22nd Jul 2012, 9:36 AM edit delete reply
Bronymous
Nope, Lynt did it, all him. Blame him.
Curb 22nd Jul 2012, 2:22 PM edit delete reply
Jenkins bait...hehe...love it...I've seen enough players in various games pull a Leroy more than once.

Note: Rifts Equestria is still in the works.
Derpy_Dragon 22nd Jul 2012, 3:56 PM edit delete reply
I may of gained a reputation for catching fellow party members with area affect spells. What? It was only intentional about half the time.

One of the more entertaining times this happened was after our party set up camp for the night. The elf in the party decided to sleep in a tree, about 20-30 feet off the ground, for some unknown reason. A few hours latter, we are awakened by the elf screaming as he is being swarmed by stirges. So I did what any rational mage in my position would do. I hit the elf in the face with a stinking cloud spell. Nearly all of the stirges failed the save and fell to the ground. Any still flopping around, after the falling damage, got stomped on by the rest of the party. The elf decided he didn't like the smell up there and jumped out of the tree. After landing ungracefully in a nearby bush, he got up, brushed the dirt and leaves off of himself, walked up to me, and punched me in the face. You would think the elf would of been more grateful for saving his life. Don't know what pissed him off more, the swan dive out of the tree, or the smell.
Cain 22nd Jul 2012, 5:36 PM edit delete reply
Cain
I refer back to my story about gagging the pixie before he insulted the giant.