Page 194 - Over Abridged

16th Oct 2012, 6:00 AM
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Over Abridged
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Author Notes:

Newbiespud 16th Oct 2012, 6:00 AM edit delete
Newbiespud
Let's not waste any time, shall we?

Bridle Gossip. Here we go.

76 Comments:

Raxon 16th Oct 2012, 6:00 AM edit delete reply
Raxon
It's good to be back on top.

I have returned from my long exile to the midwest. You've all gotten soft in my absence, but no more! I run a tight ship around here!

Someone fetch me my slippers and the latest issue of Highlights Swimsuit Edition.

The last panel marks the first time Dash uses a pony pun. It also appears that Dashie is doing a little marking of her own.
Half_Baked_Cat 16th Oct 2012, 6:20 AM edit delete reply
Sorry, but you are banned from wearing lingerie, especially slips. As for the swimsuit edition of magazine, all we have is Conservative Muslim Monthly from 1903 and Duck Care Quarterly.
Raxon 16th Oct 2012, 6:24 AM edit delete reply
Raxon
I'll make do. Give me the Duck Care Quarterly, then I wish to be alone with my... thoughts. Yeah, that's it. My thoughts.
Half_Baked_Cat 16th Oct 2012, 6:37 AM edit delete reply
Ok. *Hands over Duck Care Quarterly*

There is a good article of how to get a duck to wear little suits. Good in that I found it funny.
Digo 16th Oct 2012, 6:29 AM edit delete reply
Soft? Hey, I think we did a pretty good job picking up your slack. :D You know how harsh those guest comics were on us? They had sharks! with lasers*!



*sharks with lasers might not have actually happened.
AstroTrain 16th Oct 2012, 6:01 AM edit delete reply
Puntacular!
darkwulf23 16th Oct 2012, 6:01 AM edit delete reply
darkwulf23
Hands? What is this strange word that you are using Rainbow Dash?
aylatrigger 16th Oct 2012, 8:05 PM edit delete reply
Hands are a unit to measure the height of horses. So it is understandable to add it in, just not right in the context.
Pony Overthinker 16th Oct 2012, 9:09 PM edit delete reply
Except that it's a unit based on the approximate average width of a human hand (four inches), so yeah. Still, "foot" is canon (HWE) so why not.

...not that I've overthought this or anything.
Greywander 17th Oct 2012, 9:47 AM edit delete reply
Greywander
If nothing else, monkeys are canon. There's also creatures like dragons, gryphons, or diamond dogs, though whether those qualify as "hands" or "claws", "talons", and "paws" is debatable. In any case, ponies would certainly be familiar with appendages ending in multiple digits.

A while back, when I was working on a homebrew RPG system, I was going to express weight in units of either kumquats (for light items) or pickle barrels (for heavy items). Do we actually have any canon units of weight? I'd opt for "ponylengths" (rump to chest) as a standard unit of distance, since most ponies are about the same size. Maybe "shoulders" (width across the shoulders) or "legs" (length of the foreleg). It's all pretty subjective, so sooner or later you just have to pick a standard weight and distance and stick to that.
CJT 17th Oct 2012, 5:52 PM edit delete reply
It gets better: The "foot" used to be defined in terms of the king's actual feet. This tended to change a fair bit over the years... but in Equestria, you've had at least one ruler around for dozens of generations.

The unit of measure could very well be "shoes". Celestia's.
Destrustor 17th Oct 2012, 6:29 PM edit delete reply
Destrustor
Actually, the minotaurs like Iron Will basically have legit human hands as we would describe them. These are probably called hands.
Raxon 17th Oct 2012, 7:49 PM edit delete reply
Raxon
Am I the only one seeing Lyra going super fangirl-mode upon meeting Iron Will?
Kaze Koichi 16th Oct 2012, 6:02 AM edit delete reply
I'm gonna love Rainbow's recaps.
Zuche 16th Oct 2012, 6:15 AM edit delete reply
Probably better than the Rainbow Revised Version. Still, leave it to a daredevil to offer up the Cliff's Notes version of events.

Raxon 16th Oct 2012, 6:23 AM edit delete reply
Raxon
A surefire plan to get on the good side of your fellow players is to take notes on the campaign from your character's point of view. When the campaign is over, or when you start the next campaign,stand up and read your carefully detailed notes.

If your characters are as crazy as mine tend to be, everyone will love you for it.
Zuche 16th Oct 2012, 6:48 AM edit delete reply
Simple-minded works as well as crazy sometimes. The other PCs would be non-plussed to hear themselves described as "good lads who have seen the error of their ways," as was noted shortly after one of them put a hit out on the rest of us. (This was done to deceive his former bosses into believing he was killed in the attempt.)
Raxon 16th Oct 2012, 7:20 AM edit delete reply
Raxon
Pathological liars could also be fun.
XScarredHeart 16th Oct 2012, 6:02 AM edit delete reply
Aw, I was hoping for another over-exaggerated and self-centered recap from Dash. XD
Raxon 16th Oct 2012, 6:07 AM edit delete reply
Raxon
You don't want to annoy the druids. Druids are scary types.
Zuche 16th Oct 2012, 6:35 AM edit delete reply
Yeah, I remember a picture of one in a 1st Edition book, bypassing a mind flayer's magic resistance with transmute rock to mud and either insect plague or creeping doom.

Then along came 3rd with its dire bear or octopus builds. It was enough to put you off your picnic.
Ranubis 16th Oct 2012, 6:39 AM edit delete reply
Ranubis
Nothing is deadlier than a Druid with an "enemy-to-yak" ability and a Mage with an anti-yak mind bullet.
Aegis Steadfast 17th Oct 2012, 12:10 AM edit delete reply
Aegis Steadfast
Listen to this one, my future wife's a druid.
kriss1989 17th Oct 2012, 6:52 PM edit delete reply
kriss1989
Huh, interesting. My Dad is a Druid. No, I'm serious, IRL an actual Druid. The religion's actually pretty layer back.
Vegetalss4 18th Oct 2012, 5:51 AM edit delete reply
I am curious, what do Druids actually believe in?
You know just as a broad overview.
Zuche 16th Oct 2012, 6:07 AM edit delete reply
Ow. Ribs. Wheeze. Abdominal muscles. Ow. Thank you. Ow.
Raxon 16th Oct 2012, 6:10 AM edit delete reply
Raxon
"OW! My ribs! I think you broke my... Mmmm, ribs..."
Zuche 16th Oct 2012, 6:12 AM edit delete reply
It is as I predicted yesterday: You've been stockpiling.

Welcome back, Raxon.
Raxon 16th Oct 2012, 6:18 AM edit delete reply
Raxon
Good to be back. I return from Kansas just in time, and with souvenirs! Ten internets for everyone!
Half_Baked_Cat 16th Oct 2012, 6:21 AM edit delete reply
Do those souvenirs include new pony based miniatures that are good for pony based campaigns?
Raxon 16th Oct 2012, 6:32 AM edit delete reply
Raxon
Well,you can share the rye bread and salted peanuts I got, I suppose. They semm them by the pound, still in the shells.

I did get a weatherproof, rainproof, apparently hail-proof baseball cap, though. It's made of gore-tex, and seems to be a little overdesigned.
Half_Baked_Cat 16th Oct 2012, 6:42 AM edit delete reply
Sorry for the blatant advertising of a kickstarter, but I am trying to help recruit people for:
http://www.equestriadaily.com/2012/10/pony-pack-added-to-dungeon-adventures.html
Thanks to my pimping, this kickstarter made several thousand $ in the last few days. All I can hope is that they recognize my efforts and reward me for it. But, if they don't, I'll at least get ponies, unicorns, pegasus, alicorns, nightmares versions, eldrich versions, and possibly others. Including cute little hats.
Raxon 16th Oct 2012, 7:03 AM edit delete reply
Raxon
Such blatant advertising. You need a more subtle touch. For example, if I was to mention that I'm about to run a campaign where the world is under threat from a red and white striped ranger/assassin pony named Wanda, who would want to play this? Let's have a show of hooves.
Half_Baked_Cat 16th Oct 2012, 7:09 AM edit delete reply
Wanda, as in a pony, female Waldo?

Sounds like a lot of investigation and searching for one pony.

Maybe.
Raxon 16th Oct 2012, 7:17 AM edit delete reply
Raxon
Sorry, meant to spell it Walda. And it would be like hunting down Carmen Sandiego, but with a trail of bodies, instead of missing national landmarks.
Zeeth 16th Oct 2012, 10:18 AM edit delete reply
Actually, the name you're looking for is Wenda or Wendy.
Need a hamburger?
Half_Baked_Cat 16th Oct 2012, 7:19 AM edit delete reply
Also, you seem like you would be good at naming pony variations:
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0Ao0S4TFJW9WzdHUtb3BZNm92X0pEcDAwQm1NcjFad2c
I am running low on ideas.
Raxon 16th Oct 2012, 7:25 AM edit delete reply
Raxon
Imma be honest with you. I have no idea what I'm looking at.
Half_Baked_Cat 16th Oct 2012, 7:30 AM edit delete reply
That Kickstarter thing with pony figures will have three different pony accessory packs that include three different wing types, a mouth option, and so on. The end result is 96 different possible combinations. I decided each combination need it's own name.
Raxon 16th Oct 2012, 7:32 AM edit delete reply
Raxon
I see. By the way, you forgot that ponies can have beards.
Half_Baked_Cat 16th Oct 2012, 7:36 AM edit delete reply
Well, Currently there is no option for beards. The hat option is also not actually available yet either. Just a possibility.
Mr. 0 17th Oct 2012, 1:43 PM edit delete reply
....seriously?
Mr. 0 17th Oct 2012, 2:47 PM edit delete reply
the campaign, i mean. i completely understand the beards
kajisora 16th Oct 2012, 6:18 AM edit delete reply
What are these "hands" of which you speak?
Are they in any way related to the "feen-gars" of Legend?
Digo 16th Oct 2012, 6:34 AM edit delete reply
This reminds me of the (sadly) short GURPS adventure I played as Trixie. After being on Earth for a while, Trixie actually started using words like "hands" and "feet" when she was refering to her human teammates. For example:
"Could you lend me a hand."

One teammate constantly ribbed her about it, like--
"Don't you mean, lend me a hoof?"

Trixie's usual response was something along the lines of "I apologize, I thought I was speaking to someone who's reality wasn't rooted to a five year old's cartoon show."


...Mmm, ribs. Again.
Zuche 16th Oct 2012, 6:49 AM edit delete reply
...You're an evil man, Digo.
Digo 16th Oct 2012, 7:30 AM edit delete reply
Thanks! I try. :)
CJT 17th Oct 2012, 5:57 PM edit delete reply
I still have to dig through your LJ archives for the rest of these. Snarker Trixie is best Trixie.
Zuche 16th Oct 2012, 7:01 AM edit delete reply
Oooh, neat! You've got the two pegasi captured in a frame within frame shot, with the two unicorns given independent reaction shots right below it.

Poor earth ponies. Well, at least they're in good company.
LoganAura 16th Oct 2012, 7:43 AM edit delete reply
LoganAura
Derpy Dash. Teehee
Karilyn 16th Oct 2012, 8:11 AM edit delete reply
Karilyn
Two years later and I still can't look at this gif without cracking a smile.

image
Oblivious 16th Oct 2012, 9:19 AM edit delete reply
Oblivious
Brushie, brushie...
Cain 16th Oct 2012, 9:55 AM edit delete reply
Cain
nice
Digo 16th Oct 2012, 10:45 AM edit delete reply
That's just adorable.
Guest 17th Oct 2012, 8:19 PM edit delete reply
Gets me every time
KSClaw 16th Oct 2012, 9:44 AM edit delete reply
Shhh, ixnay on the andshay, or a wild Lyra might appear
Crimson Doom 16th Oct 2012, 10:42 AM edit delete reply
Crimson Doom
Wild Lyra appeared!

Go, Derpy!

Derpy used Derp!

It's super effective!

Go, Pokeball!

Wild Lyra was caught!
AkumaTh 16th Oct 2012, 12:31 PM edit delete reply
That was a quick recap. And I thought I could shorten them up.
Destrustor 16th Oct 2012, 2:05 PM edit delete reply
Destrustor
Last time: We won!

That's the shortest I can make it.
Half_Baked_Cat 16th Oct 2012, 4:47 PM edit delete reply
Stare.

I made it shorter. That is the only part of any importance.
ThousandYearSunrise 17th Oct 2012, 9:42 PM edit delete reply
ThousandYearSunrise
Win

I DARE you to make it shorter.
DracoS 18th Oct 2012, 1:42 AM edit delete reply
DARE ACCEPTED.

"K.O."

"V." Stands for "Victory"
ThousandYearSunrise 18th Oct 2012, 5:20 AM edit delete reply
ThousandYearSunrise
Well played.
ThousandYearSunrise 16th Oct 2012, 1:07 PM edit delete reply
ThousandYearSunrise
I shall luxuriate in the splendiforications.
Zarhon 16th Oct 2012, 2:13 PM edit delete reply
Zarhon
Sometimes, a quick recap is better than the long version.

Case in point: Pony Team Bravo's 12th session summary, which was effectively summed up with "We broke everything. Especially Appleoosa".
Philadelphus 17th Oct 2012, 8:57 AM edit delete reply
Philadelphus
Yes, through a...shall we say, poorly timed application of the Element of Laughter within city limits, we have now blown far, far ahead of the BBEG in terms of damage we have caused to Equestria. Poor Apploosians. Hope they get the town rebuilt someday.
Kirby 16th Oct 2012, 4:27 PM edit delete reply
Ah yes, I was hoping this one would be coming up. :3

Zecora is one of my favorite characters on the show, and I have a D&D character based off of her. A paragon-tier Drow druid with training in Alchemy
Kd7sov 16th Oct 2012, 4:57 PM edit delete reply
...It's kinda sad how easily I can identify S1 screencaps. That three-pony stare, for instance? Is from Feeling Pinkie Keen, when the Hydra is rising up right behind Twilight.
LoganAura 17th Oct 2012, 4:59 AM edit delete reply
LoganAura
Previously: Sh-t happened.
Shortest summary ever
Zuche 17th Oct 2012, 6:37 AM edit delete reply
I think the shortest summary ever was:

"Previously, on Clerks."
<Test Pattern>
Greywander 17th Oct 2012, 10:19 AM edit delete reply
Greywander
Previously, on My Little Pony...

Fluttershy: "How dare you! Just because you're big, doesn't mean you get to be a bully!"

-----

Discord: "Bravo, ponies, bravo. Harmony in Equestria is officially dead."

-----

Pinkie Pie: "Something you never expect to happen is going to happen! And it's going to happen at Froggy Bottom Bog!"

-----

Scootaloo: "I'm gonna jump over this shark on my scooter!"

Sweetie Belle: "No, Scootaloo! It's too dangerous!"

-----

Spike: "Twilight, I'm pregnant. And Pinkie's the father!"

Twilight Sparkle: "It's probably better if I don't question that."

-----

Applebloom: "You killed my father!"

Celestia: "No, Applebloom. I am your father."

-----

Bon Bon: "I'm out of ammo. All I've got left is one grenade."

Lyra: "Same here..."

Bon Bon: "It's been an honor serving with you."

Lyra: "What say we go out in one last blaze of glory, eh?"

-----

Wind Whistler: "Captain, I'm detecting several energy signatures exiting the anomaly. I believe we may be under attack."

Firefly: "Raise shields! Take evasive maneuvers!"

*crash*

-----

Vinyl Scratch: "Somepony ate my sandwich! Who could've done such a thing?"

And now, the conclusion.
Zuche 17th Oct 2012, 12:33 PM edit delete reply
Spike: "I can't carry the tiara, Mistress Sparkle... but I can carry you!"

(Cue background chanting of, "Rudy! Rudy! Rudy!")
Digo 18th Oct 2012, 6:00 AM edit delete reply
Rainbow Dash: "Now let's see who this Mysterious MareDoWell really is!"

MareDoWell: **Unmasked**

Rainbow Dash: "Wha... TOM?! It was you?!"
CJT 17th Oct 2012, 5:55 PM edit delete reply
...Ow. I'm now picturing Vinyl delivering that line in Heavy's voice.
Raxon 17th Oct 2012, 8:59 PM edit delete reply
Raxon
Previously, on All My Ponies...

Fixed it for you.
Qin The Kirin 17th Oct 2012, 8:26 AM edit delete reply
i can inly say one thing about this yay!