Derpy Hooves: Rolling the ivories! <rolls>
Cheerilee: Wow, that's a lot of freakin' boxcars.
SFX: (KA-POW!!)
Derpy Hooves: 138 damage! I believe the colonial term is- 'Boo-yah.'
GM: That... That killed my dragon. You actually blocked a TPK.
Daring Do: Alright Trixie!
Trixie: Friendship truly is magic.
Cheerilee: So is rule abuse!
Zecora: Aside from the mad props, tell us GM, what are the loot drops?
GM: Well, in addition to this list of gems and magical items, you find Cadenza's phylactery.
Daring Do: Sweet babies!
GM: Ah, but there is a catch! This small child is wearing it. The phylactery is feeding on her unicorn magic. If you destroy it, then the child dies!
Nurse Redheart: What's the downside?
Cheerilee: Not cool, Red! The DM is trying to screw us over with yet another alignment hit!
Trixie: Yeah, I already got the word 'geas' tattooed on my butt.
Guest Author's Note: "My players once attacked each other because they couldn't decide which guard to murder first at the entrance to a dungeon. My dungeon took the rest of the evening off."
Spike your hair, learn alot of haste spells, and use that magic to mimic another certain mascot with the anagram present. And heh! A fun little gem yet again, but d'aww on the cute twilight!
Well, on the bright side, they can keep destroying Cadenza every time she starts to regenerate. Or seal the phylactery in cement. There are a lot of ways to disable without destroying.
I had the same thought. Take the phylactery and the child with you. Locate a powerful arcane or divine caster with a strong good alignment to break the phylactery safely. And every time the lich tries to regenerate before you get there distract the child with a puppet show about how violence is not the answer and kick the sh** out of that d*** lich for daring to use a child like that.
Not sure how this works, since I have yet to play a game (hope to get started next week!) but couldn't you seal the body in cement or a cage or something while it's regenerating, or while it's weak? seems more efficient than continually making Lich pudding.
My preferred method of disposing phylactery - trick evil dragon into eating it. Even if Lich somehow explodes from the inside it will be pretty near-destroyed. And one less evil dragon too. If not, the Lich is done for good.
Yeah... we didn't have girl then. Forgot about her. Maybe a Dragon can take care of her. Maybe he will be responsible parental figure to her? Or maybe just leave child in tavern frequent by high level adventurers. You know, kill a reforming Lich, get a free drink.
It says it's feeding on her. It doesn't say it has to be near her to do that.
Alternatively, feed it to a tame gelatinous Cube, and have the little unicorn girl keep it as a pet.
I ran a D&D campaign where the BBEG lich had a pet small gelatinous cube. Darn adventurers set it on fire and then wondered why the lich was angry with them. :p
In the last guest comic with this group, Redheart did stone the kids at an orphanage just to stop an arsonist from burning the house down. I'm not sure what alignment is "ends justify the means" but maybe that helps figure out the answer.
Chaotic Good is "I'm doing the right thing, and your rules won't stop me" while "ends justify the means" is either Neutral or Evil depending on exactly how bad the means are and how important the end is
If it's actually "ends justify the means" then it's neutral good. If you're rationalizing the means by claiming it creates good ends when it really doesn't, or you're ignoring the fact that means are an end in themselves, etc., then you're not really being honest about why you made that decision so it's had to gauge the alignment, but it's probably not good.
According to Book of Exalted Deeds, neither means nor ends are capable of justifying each other. The good news is, you can either use good means for neutral ends or neutral means for good ends and have it count as a good act. The bad news is any act that has evil means or ends is simply evil.
Chaotic doesn't really care about ends. Chaotic Good is 'means justify the ends', Chaotic Evil is 'ha ha I like hurting folks', and Chaotic Neutral is 'I do what I want, bitch!'
Ends justify the means is Lawful Neutral I think? Possibly lawful evil. Depends on how good the ends are and how bad the means.
I'm gonna be honest though, depending on the lich having to kill a little girl to destroy a lich is mostly a fair trade. The reason you hesitate is that a little girl powering a lich is possibly more powerful than the lich not because she's a little girl. I have liches that pretty much run entire cities.
Wait.. hang on.. Which set of critical hit rules are we using? Doubling damage after roll? Doubling number of dice rolled? Looks like dice rolled. *does math* That would be an ABSURD number of sixes.
138-12=126, 126/6 = 21...
If we assume that all dice that do not roll sixes roll average, which is 3 when not counting sixes, that's.. *rummages*
18 sixes, and the remaining 6 rolling an average of three.. that is a LOT of freakin' boxcars.. somepony check Derpy's dice?
I have a player that rolls like that in my group. His uncanny dice mojo has saved the party's ass from:
A Star-Spawn of Cthulhu in Cthulhutech. He one-shot'd it with his mech's charge beam. Rolled a 1-10 straight with his attack roll, then at least 4 or 5 10s on his damage roll (C-tech uses a d10 system)
A giant, burning jaguar demon in Scion. He dealt enough Aggravated damage to incapacitate it long enough for the Magic-user to seal it in his sword.
The crazy thing is 24d6+12 doing 138 damage means that all of the dice rolled over a 5 (all would have to roll 5's and 6 would have to roll 6's, or other variations of course depending on how many extra 6's they got)
nah, Gden.. As noted, you can have low rolls, even a few ones, but just have more sixes to balance.
Let's see... most sixes possible.. 20, with the four remaining being three ones and a three. (or other low combinations)
Fewest sixes possible.. Huh. 6 sixes, with the rest being 18 5s.
Still absurd dice luck. Maybe Cheerilee's Luck ability allows re-rolls of damage dice? That'd explain it.
Ahah! Ok, I have it. The 24d6+12 is NOT The crit damage.. that's the base damage. Cheerilee's Luck ability turns it into a Critical, which allows damage dice to be re-rolled. This changes Derpy's luck from 'absurd' to 'pretty damn good'.
Okay, I am conscious again, though maybe not coherent. (I wrote "I am couscous," on my first attempt. Might need to lie down for a bit again.) Right, sorry, where was I?
Oh, yeah. From whence came Derpy's "Boo-yah," expression? Much fun for its uniqueness. "What's the downside?" kills me, especially as it comes from the party's main healer. It reminds me of an article I read on humanity's strange virtue-vice dynamic, where a too common reaction to doing some good deed runs along the lines of "This earns me an afternoon of puppy roasting! Now I just need to get a proper bonfire started for the roast? Where's the nearest orphanage?"
As for loaded dice, my favourite comment in that regard comes from the Spelljammer box set, where the entry for "Random Ultimate Helm Generation" contained the following passage:
"Roll a d10 to determine the number of additional powers, then roll on the subtable on the following page. Roll a d10 for each power, [i]adding[i] the prevous sum on all numbers rolled. That is, if three powers are called for and the first roll is a 5, the second a 6, and the third a 10, the item would have powers 5, 11 (5+6), and 21 (11+10)."
Om the opposite page is a list of 100 powers, with entry number 100 (Power Word, Kill 1/day) including the postscript: "Also send out for pizza to celebrate, because you have just rolled 11 tens on a 10-sided die in a row. You might want to check out that die...."
As an(other) aside, it's a little disturbing to associate a magical compulsion with Trixie's butt.
I have a friend with the old Spelljammer set. I'm totally going to ask him for the book because that sounds hilarious.
Cyborg from the old animated Teen Titans series used to say "Boo-yah" often. ...I don't know of anyone else though. I used to use it with one of my Shadowrun mages when he successfully blocked a spell.
And yeah, Nurse Redheart is an odd character. True story-- her style is based off an alien assassin character I played as in a Marvel superhero game. My alien equipment healed humans quite well so I was often thought of as the team medic... despite my actual profession. But I guess in the Marvel universe when everyone is throwing cars around like baseballs and leaving 10 meter deep divots in buildings it doesn't much mean anything. XD
I like the idea of having a geas enchanted on part of your body. I think I'll have my bard enchant his block and tackle with a geas spell that affects people when they look directly at it.
in 3.5/pathfinder the spell you want is "Illusionary Script" Lasts days per level, can be cast on anything that weighs less than 10 lbs, and implants a single command into anybody that sees it that lasts for 20 minutes per time seeing it, since this is shorter than the casting time of the no save permanent duration Geas Spell you can imagine the possibilities.
wasn't the small child attached to the magically item of importance one of the stories provided for the youtube voice reading or w/e the PC's decided to adopt her or what ever.
If that one youtube video you made is anything to go by, then I see where this is going.
I gotta say, I liked the outcome of that scenario, and I get the feeling I'm going to like the outcome of this scenario.
Wait, now I'm curious, since there's been two of these comments now. I've read Fallout: Equestria, but where and when does it mention "boxcars" so profoundly? Because I don't remember any such detail sticking out.
Lil Pip drops a boxcar on the alicorns, and they all run in fear of boxcars after that. And then she goes on to train in the use of boxcars as weapons from that railyard pony.
Well, this problem seems like it has a simple solution.
Step 1: Destroy the phylactary. As an inevitable consequence, it kills Foal!Twilight Sparkle.
Step 2: Use the copious hoard to pay for a True Resurrection for Foal!Twilight Sparkle.
Step 3: Profit! You can put the screws to TS's parents to pay you back the price for the true resurrection. If they're unfamiliar with magic, you could probably charge 'em 150%, especially if you put 'em on a payment plan.
Sounds like both players and GM need to grok the wealth-by-level table.
It's not a table of "this is the absolute most you should possibly have at any given level," it's a table of "You should have about this much loot at this level."
So if your character croaks and needs to be ressed, you might be hurting for cash for a bit, but the GM should arrange a few windfalls to bring things back up to speed.
ME: "oh, you say it's an evil act because the child dies? My character has no such knowledge that it will kill the child. Sure you told -me-, but that's player knowledge, not character knowledge. Evil acts require -intent-."
GM: "Um, well, you character can see this, plainly. So the character -does- know, so there!"
Me: "oh, you claim my character -did- know it. Very well, I claim greater good. While it's tragic that said child had to die, the life of one child, weighed against the ENTIRE FREAKING REALM, is not enough. Sorry, child dies. "
GM: "that's murder! it's an evil act, alignment warrrrgggbll!"
Me: "Yes, a murder committed by the person who set this situation up. Which is Not. Me. "
True, and related story. GM has a village that must be saved. Apparently, the Village's elders, centuries ago, did some Bad Things, in the name of survival. This created some very weird ghosts, that were effectively impossible for the -first level party- to handle.
My solution was to migrate the remaining villagers back to 'civilization' dropping them off at various villages along the way in ones and twos, effectively 'distroying' the village and breaking the curse. GM was surprised, to say the least.
We won't talk about the hatchling dragons in the second village. six of them, 3 second level PCs...
His next trick was to send us to a third village, which was being attacked by undead wildlife from the forest.
my solution was to burn down the forest.
My arguement for burning the forest down.
1. The zombies, being zombies, wont recognize fire as a threat, and will get burned.
2. It will clear more arable land for the locals, increasing available farm land.
3. All the non-zombie wildlife knows to flee from fire, and will evacuate the area, denying the what-ever-it-is any more fresh bodies to make more zombies with.
GM did not like this plan. So we're wandering around the forest...which is full of zombie -everything-, including squirrels, FFS. Yes, Zombie Squirrels.
I kind of feel that there are some people who should be excluded/not allowed/dissuaded from being a DM/ST/PH/GM. It's about the level of vindictiveness that comes from these individuals who feel the need to compete with their players and/or make them as miserable as possible. It really shouldn't be about that.
I will get vindictive, but only as far as small, silly vengeful things go.
For example, I may decide that gnomes starched all your underpants, or they decided to doodle all over your face while you slept. If you really make me angry, I will polymorph your character for the session.Remember that episode of Samurai Jack where he spends the entire episode as a chicken? Yeah. Your wizard can still cast spells, but now she has even less hp, and lays eggs.
Ten extra squick points if the barbarian looks directly at her, winks, then cracks open the egg and slurps it out loudly while moaning.
Alternatively, feed it to a tame gelatinous Cube, and have the little unicorn girl keep it as a pet.
HAHAHAHAHA
I take it that "colloquial" substitution was intentional.
Is that a Fallout: Equestria reference I see?
Since she saves lives by being a practicing nurse, she has to balance it out by eating babies and kicking puppies in her off hours.
Ends justify the means is Lawful Neutral I think? Possibly lawful evil. Depends on how good the ends are and how bad the means.
I'm gonna be honest though, depending on the lich having to kill a little girl to destroy a lich is mostly a fair trade. The reason you hesitate is that a little girl powering a lich is possibly more powerful than the lich not because she's a little girl. I have liches that pretty much run entire cities.
138-12=126, 126/6 = 21...
If we assume that all dice that do not roll sixes roll average, which is 3 when not counting sixes, that's.. *rummages*
18 sixes, and the remaining 6 rolling an average of three.. that is a LOT of freakin' boxcars.. somepony check Derpy's dice?
A Star-Spawn of Cthulhu in Cthulhutech. He one-shot'd it with his mech's charge beam. Rolled a 1-10 straight with his attack roll, then at least 4 or 5 10s on his damage roll (C-tech uses a d10 system)
A giant, burning jaguar demon in Scion. He dealt enough Aggravated damage to incapacitate it long enough for the Magic-user to seal it in his sword.
Let's see... most sixes possible.. 20, with the four remaining being three ones and a three. (or other low combinations)
Fewest sixes possible.. Huh. 6 sixes, with the rest being 18 5s.
Still absurd dice luck. Maybe Cheerilee's Luck ability allows re-rolls of damage dice? That'd explain it.
Ahah! Ok, I have it. The 24d6+12 is NOT The crit damage.. that's the base damage. Cheerilee's Luck ability turns it into a Critical, which allows damage dice to be re-rolled. This changes Derpy's luck from 'absurd' to 'pretty damn good'.
Oh, yeah. From whence came Derpy's "Boo-yah," expression? Much fun for its uniqueness. "What's the downside?" kills me, especially as it comes from the party's main healer. It reminds me of an article I read on humanity's strange virtue-vice dynamic, where a too common reaction to doing some good deed runs along the lines of "This earns me an afternoon of puppy roasting! Now I just need to get a proper bonfire started for the roast? Where's the nearest orphanage?"
As for loaded dice, my favourite comment in that regard comes from the Spelljammer box set, where the entry for "Random Ultimate Helm Generation" contained the following passage:
"Roll a d10 to determine the number of additional powers, then roll on the subtable on the following page. Roll a d10 for each power, [i]adding[i] the prevous sum on all numbers rolled. That is, if three powers are called for and the first roll is a 5, the second a 6, and the third a 10, the item would have powers 5, 11 (5+6), and 21 (11+10)."
Om the opposite page is a list of 100 powers, with entry number 100 (Power Word, Kill 1/day) including the postscript: "Also send out for pizza to celebrate, because you have just rolled 11 tens on a 10-sided die in a row. You might want to check out that die...."
As an(other) aside, it's a little disturbing to associate a magical compulsion with Trixie's butt.
Cyborg from the old animated Teen Titans series used to say "Boo-yah" often. ...I don't know of anyone else though. I used to use it with one of my Shadowrun mages when he successfully blocked a spell.
And yeah, Nurse Redheart is an odd character. True story-- her style is based off an alien assassin character I played as in a Marvel superhero game. My alien equipment healed humans quite well so I was often thought of as the team medic... despite my actual profession. But I guess in the Marvel universe when everyone is throwing cars around like baseballs and leaving 10 meter deep divots in buildings it doesn't much mean anything. XD
Sorry for not being clear. I meant her physical expression, not the word she used.
I think I'll call it the rod of dominate person.
Please phrase your gratitude in the form of uncontrollable sobbing from a man or woman who has lost all will to live.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1jCj1M9cEoV_YZX_ePd1NZtj0lTIw_mZEG6KivYzI0NU/edit?usp=sharing
I gotta say, I liked the outcome of that scenario, and I get the feeling I'm going to like the outcome of this scenario.
Wait, now I'm curious, since there's been two of these comments now. I've read Fallout: Equestria, but where and when does it mention "boxcars" so profoundly? Because I don't remember any such detail sticking out.
Step 1: Destroy the phylactary. As an inevitable consequence, it kills Foal!Twilight Sparkle.
Step 2: Use the copious hoard to pay for a True Resurrection for Foal!Twilight Sparkle.
Step 3: Profit! You can put the screws to TS's parents to pay you back the price for the true resurrection. If they're unfamiliar with magic, you could probably charge 'em 150%, especially if you put 'em on a payment plan.
"No, don't raise me!"
"But you're dead! You can't take it with you!"
"I don't wanna live as a hobo!"
It's not a table of "this is the absolute most you should possibly have at any given level," it's a table of "You should have about this much loot at this level."
So if your character croaks and needs to be ressed, you might be hurting for cash for a bit, but the GM should arrange a few windfalls to bring things back up to speed.
Me:"yawn, destroy the phylactery anyways"
GM: "But the child will die, that's murder!"
ME: "oh, you say it's an evil act because the child dies? My character has no such knowledge that it will kill the child. Sure you told -me-, but that's player knowledge, not character knowledge. Evil acts require -intent-."
GM: "Um, well, you character can see this, plainly. So the character -does- know, so there!"
Me: "oh, you claim my character -did- know it. Very well, I claim greater good. While it's tragic that said child had to die, the life of one child, weighed against the ENTIRE FREAKING REALM, is not enough. Sorry, child dies. "
GM: "that's murder! it's an evil act, alignment warrrrgggbll!"
Me: "Yes, a murder committed by the person who set this situation up. Which is Not. Me. "
True, and related story. GM has a village that must be saved. Apparently, the Village's elders, centuries ago, did some Bad Things, in the name of survival. This created some very weird ghosts, that were effectively impossible for the -first level party- to handle.
My solution was to migrate the remaining villagers back to 'civilization' dropping them off at various villages along the way in ones and twos, effectively 'distroying' the village and breaking the curse. GM was surprised, to say the least.
We won't talk about the hatchling dragons in the second village. six of them, 3 second level PCs...
His next trick was to send us to a third village, which was being attacked by undead wildlife from the forest.
my solution was to burn down the forest.
My arguement for burning the forest down.
1. The zombies, being zombies, wont recognize fire as a threat, and will get burned.
2. It will clear more arable land for the locals, increasing available farm land.
3. All the non-zombie wildlife knows to flee from fire, and will evacuate the area, denying the what-ever-it-is any more fresh bodies to make more zombies with.
GM did not like this plan. So we're wandering around the forest...which is full of zombie -everything-, including squirrels, FFS. Yes, Zombie Squirrels.
I expect death by zombie squirrel in my future.
For example, I may decide that gnomes starched all your underpants, or they decided to doodle all over your face while you slept. If you really make me angry, I will polymorph your character for the session.Remember that episode of Samurai Jack where he spends the entire episode as a chicken? Yeah. Your wizard can still cast spells, but now she has even less hp, and lays eggs.
Ten extra squick points if the barbarian looks directly at her, winks, then cracks open the egg and slurps it out loudly while moaning.