Page 371 - First Turn Blues

3rd Dec 2013, 6:00 AM
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First Turn Blues
Average Rating: 5 (3 votes)
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Author Notes:

Newbiespud 3rd Dec 2013, 6:00 AM edit delete
Newbiespud
Story time! For those of you with DM experience, tell a story about some of the first combat encounters you ever made, and the lessons you learned from those first experiments.

110 Comments:

Raxon 3rd Dec 2013, 6:00 AM edit delete reply
Raxon
In my universe, Cerberus is Lawful Good.

The logic is simple. The good deities don't want to visit hell. The only thing a guard in hell has to deal with is the prisoners getting free. Therefore, Cerberus and his hounds of hell are actually just celestial prison guards.

And do not get me started on the deity cosmology in that universe, because it is the type it thing that keeps philosophy students awake at night. Yes, Cerberus is what's known as an aspect deity. Yes, he has a divine aura, and is immune to ordinary mortal attacks. So are Thor, Zeus, Cthulhu, and the effing flying spaghetti monster.

Also, it basically allows a person to serve whatever deity they like. Yes, Bahamut and Tiamat are there. Yes, they are aspect deities, much like Cerberus, the lady of pain, and Samuel L Jackson.


Oh, and as for story time, I made a terrible thing. I used elves. It, uhhh... it did not go well in a dark fantasy world. Elves are bad and they inflict lasting psychological damage on characters and players alike. Cormin was never quite the same again. I can tell about the gang's first random encounter, if you like. But only if your heart is steady, and your stomach is strong.
Curb 3rd Dec 2013, 6:07 AM edit delete reply
And what would Samuel L Jackson be the god off?? Swearing, Badassness?
Raxon 3rd Dec 2013, 6:19 AM edit delete reply
Raxon
He is the god of emphatic profanity. Chaotic neutral.
Call me Al 3rd Dec 2013, 6:16 AM edit delete reply
Brace yourselves! A messed up story is coming!
Raxon 3rd Dec 2013, 7:02 AM edit delete reply
Raxon
Well, if you insist. I ran my story world in a short game. I played as a fresh young Raxon, straight out of adventurers college. With him were Walda, a ranger, and Cormin, a thief.(yes, their names were plays on Waldo and Carmin.) These two were also graduates. Cormin and Walda were both 19, Raxon was 16. He graduated early, because blah blah destiny blah elemental autistic blah blah chaos magic blah ripped the school in half blah blah splattered the walls with the entire contents of his torso by jumping on a live grenade blah blah blah and the school decided that he had too much destiny and should leave ASAP.

So, the first thing they find is a village! It's not far from where Cormin and Walda grew up! They decide to stop for the night. When they get closer, though, something is wrong. Blood has been shed here. The dead litter the streets. All the farmlands have been burned. The animals mutilated. There are no survivors.

Walda and Cormin set about digging graves. It falls to Raxon to carry the week old corpses. Everyone, down to the last woman and child, has been tortured to death. Even infants were killed. Nothing was taken. It was purely out of a desire to destroy them. The death toll is around 100.

Fast forward a week. Raxon can't sleep. He gets up and wanders away in the night to answer nature's call.

He hears voices. "Such fools that village housed. Refusing to surrender! Resisting their deaths! Even after their child called us scary! We are the most beautiful of all things. No lacksoul crosses an elf with such a blatant insult. I don't expect the vermin to know better for long." That was it. Raxon just overheard two elves talking about how they tortured and murdered everyone in that village because, rather than say they're beautiful, a little girl called them scary.

Raxon had had enough of these narcissistic assholes. He got the drop on one with his axe. The other responded, and even though Raxon was merely a level 1 wizard, it turns out that he was minmaxed for spells. At level one, even with no conjuration or elemental spells, he cast his version of magic missile. A pitiful 1d2 spell. Rapid casting and two metric butt loads of the spell, though. Turns out he's "elementally autistic" not only is he a specialist, he cannot cast any elemental spells at all. In exchance, he gets more spells per level, and has to research his own spells at an xp and gold cost.

But for right now, he's a level one wizard with ten shots of magic missile. Did I mention that elves are fae in this setting, and carry a CR of 5-10?

Raxon barely survived, but swore to exterminate the lot of the elf race.

Thus began his great crusade, to eradicate the elves. A war fought entirely in secret and hidden from his friends.

And this great war, this secret war, came to pass, because elves are dicks.
Grey Pennies 3rd Dec 2013, 7:22 AM edit delete reply
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