Friendship is Dragons
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Page 436 - Social Espionage Operations
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Newbiespud
3rd May 2014, 6:00 AM
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The only way to resolve this clash is by a battle of lyrical magnitude.
These hoity-toity types are too uptown for such vulgar displays. More like...
EEEEEPIC POETRY SLAMS OF SOCIETYYYYY!
EEEEEPIC POETRY SLAMS OF SOCIETYYYYY!
Please, these are noble ponies. They'll be commissioning starving poets to represent them in the poetry slam.
VUSUS
FAAAAAAAANNNNNNCCCCCCYYYYYYYYYY PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANTS
BEGIN
So sorry I bumped into you, I just didn’t see you there
Where’s Fleur? Letting somepony else have their share?
But I digress, so good to see you, I needed inspiration
That outfit’s perfect for my next show “Eau de Castration”
And that mustache, I must say, is so perfectly groomed
How did you clean that rat up after it was exhumed?
Too much? But darling, I’m only just beginning
Even when it comes to rhyming, my works are prizewinning.
Rarity, so glad to have you back in Canterlot,
This time did you make sure to give your lying forethought?
Or do you think just like last time I’ll be bailing you out,
When you try just too hard to make use of my clout.
When they say VIP, they’re referring to me,
Not some two-bit tailor who, I’ve heard, assaults Royalty.
Are you surprised, or did you think no one would know
We watch all the “rustic” ponies, so why don’t you put on a show
It. Is. On.
I was holding back before, but I feel a shift in aligning,
I was complaining before, because now YOU GET WHINING
Is that suit the same? The one you wore last time I was here?
I wore six outfits that week, you’ve worn one this whole year.
Yes, you’re a VIP, a Very Insolent Prick
And that crowd you hang out with? So vapid it’s sick.
Birds of a feather though, isn’t that what they say?
After all, I know you weren’t born with your horn looking that way.
I’m an Element of Harmony, we’ve saved the world, twice,
You’ve attended some parties? Oh, well, that’s nice.
You’d better step up your game, this isn’t a charity
Now bow down and worship, for I. Am. Rarity.
Does Celestia know you’re trying to one-up her place?
Remember the last pony who did that was shot into space.
Best get off your high-horse, or you’re likely to fall
And that whole “Cloudsdale” stunt is getting rather banal
Why not do something you’re good at, like crying and bawling
Or make that Trenderhoof collection even more appalling
And do you know any Prench? Or do you just fake that too?
Prançais, maudite vache, parlez-vous?
You can’t put it together, you’re an absolute mess
With you at the hem, there’s no art in that dress
So long for now miss, this has been a fun fling
But try again, and it’ll be the worst possible thing.
WHO WON?
WHO’S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE?
PROBABLY NOT. I DON’T THINK I’LL BE DOING ANOTHER ONE OF THESE DUMB THINGS.
HOW DID YOU EVEN
I DON'T
WAT
THIS NEEDS TO BE A THING NOW
SOMEONE MAKE THIS A THING
PLEESE
I DON'T
WAT
THIS NEEDS TO BE A THING NOW
SOMEONE MAKE THIS A THING
PLEESE
It is a thing... http://www.fimfiction.net/story/26717/epic-rap-battles-of-mlp
I know there's others out there, too. Mic the Mic and some of the other folks on YouTube made a couple splendid ones - Iron Will VS Zecora, and Big Mac VS Blueblood. They, and this, are probably the best pony rap battles I've encountered. Bravo, Dinn!
Holy crap that was amazing. Now all we need is a PMV on YouTube and we're set.
I do appreciate the inclusion of the Derpy Easter egg. I can only imagine what the DM has planned for her.
"Oh, that's no one special. Certainly not an avatar of the goddess of destruction."
(Unlikely, of course, but I can dream.)
"Oh, that's no one special. Certainly not an avatar of the goddess of destruction."
(Unlikely, of course, but I can dream.)
It's just that not everyone can pull it off effectively, so they leave it to the professionals like Derpy.
Rarity: ...Heh. I didn't know Miss Derpy was in attendance.
DM: Pardon?
Rarity: Oh, I understand you have to reuse figurines for groups of NPCs. It's just that the grey pegasus with the..."distinct" eyes caught my attention. Didn't you say she was a mailmare back in Ponyville last time?
DM: Ah, so you noticed. Miss Derpy is chatting with another set of high socialites, wearing a paper bag on her head. The socialites don't seem to be reacting negatively or disparagingly, she's just treated like any other good friend. One of her eyes seems to look right at you and wink before turning back to her conversation.
Rarity: ...Wait, you're serious? Like, that was intentional? But...that raises so many questions-
DM: You notice Fancy Pants and his entourage moving into the gardens. If you don't follow them out, you might have difficulties claiming that you were just "bumping into them."
Rarity:...Very well, I shall go after Fancy Pants. But I'll be keeping an eye on you, Derpy Hooves.
Part of me can't help but suspect that Derpy's pulling a lesser version of the Bearington Gambit. "My eyes are fine, I'm wearing a disgustingly expensive dress, and this is the best conversation you've had all evening." (rolls Bluff)
Thank you for that link, FanOfMostEverything.
That website will most certainly be entering into my 'Interesting Stuff' bookmarks folder for later, lengthy perusing.
That website will most certainly be entering into my 'Interesting Stuff' bookmarks folder for later, lengthy perusing.
I knew about Bearington from before, of course, but the site's got other stories I haven't read too - I mostly find the stories about 'abusing' the rules, with 'abusing' being from the point of view of someone who thinks the only right way to play is dungeon-delving with a fighter, a rogue, and a mage. Maybe a Cleric too, if you're feeling like a maverick. But there's still a difference between rules-trickery, and just plain funny moments.
Months ago, I didn't know about that site. When I wrote the above comment, I Googled "bearington bluff" and picked the site that looked the most interesting.
Remember, folks: always cite your sources. People will thank you.
Remember, folks: always cite your sources. People will thank you.
Panel seven, Rarity has gained the ability to charge and decapitate by headbutt.
Oh my god, his head is missing.
Maybe he's just appearifying in Rarity's way as the DM creates him...
Maybe he's just appearifying in Rarity's way as the DM creates him...
Must have taken some pointers from Luke and Cory.
It's not an error, a mistake, or some other kind of one-frame thing. This is just actually what happens in the show.
So what you're saying is that Rarity, with the funds she's aquired, has gone to a specialist Druid that's 'friendly' with her guild, and had her Horn enchanted as a Natural Vorpal Weapon?
LOL, I admit the decapitating story is much more fun to imagine...
I love how just about everything in Rarity's story is backwards to how it was in the show. Like how the diamond dog was the whiner instead. ^v^
Who knows, maybe she'll get a romance out of it. :)
It was shifted one panel to the right by the force of Rarity's diplomancer RP skills.
Anyone?
True, but the crazy out-of-context theories are funny. :)
Since nobody announced a story time, I declare story time to be all about rivals!
Tell about a rival you have had in a game! I got one for you.
Ransu is a very dangerous one man army, but then he heard about a mysterious battlefield ghost. A terrible spectre that dances in the tides of battle. An immortal demon that no man can lay hands on.
Ransu decides that he must find this man, and challenge him to a duel, because he was the best until these murmurs began.
It all came to a head when Ransu finally caught up to the rumors. He was there with one of his oldest friends, who was restraining him from confronting the demon of war.
"Let me go! I have to fight the demon!"
"No, Ransu, you are the demon."
And then Ransu was a furry.
One character of mine, Smoke-Paw, is a master less samurai (kensai?), and had tracked across the lands with only the knowledge of his kin at hand (Honor, Life, Peace.)
... Being chaotic evil, only the first one was ever followed.
One day, Smoke-Paw had travelled into a small village known for it's exotic imports of slaves, wine, and art (Rome?) While there, he met a man named Rellik, a notorious fighter in the local arena.
Long story short, they fought for the better part of a day, and they both fell unconscious due to dehydration and exhaust... Yeah, really anti-climatic (It was over an hour real time for this combat, so why not.)
They have ever since travelled together, with only the rivalry of defeating more enemies then the other. ... Not the best of friends, but hey, that's why their evil.
Closest any of my characters have ever had to a rival was actually a member of our party.
In fact, Crow was assigned to be the partner of my character, Mishra, by the head of our house/guild.
Mishra was an emotionless officer whose favourite past times were drinking tea and filling out paperwork. Closest thing he's had to an emotion was a Heroic BSOD when his boss was killed.
Crow liked to shoot stuff. And by that, I mean he shot everything we fought, even though we had standing orders not to kill anyone.
In fact, Crow was assigned to be the partner of my character, Mishra, by the head of our house/guild.
Mishra was an emotionless officer whose favourite past times were drinking tea and filling out paperwork. Closest thing he's had to an emotion was a Heroic BSOD when his boss was killed.
Crow liked to shoot stuff. And by that, I mean he shot everything we fought, even though we had standing orders not to kill anyone.
I actually have a story for this one. Rather recent too.
I've recently joined Shadowrun Denver, a mush community, with an Australian griffin shaman by the street name of Grinder (Whom used to be a pirate, but that is neither here nor there.)
While hanging out at a bar he met a woman whom had clearly wanted to be a fox girl, with the eyes, ears and tail, by the name of Kitfox. The two talked for a bit before Kitfox cast and illusion spell on Grinder and tried to steal his wallet... only for Grinder to resist the spell and be insulted by the slight against him before he began to chase her down to claim blood.
Kitfox vanished from the physical plane, leaving the wallet behind, reveling her nature as a free spirit. Grinder when Astral and pursed for a while before losing her because his intelligence was somewhat average and he couldn't keep up.
Once he had the chance to calm down and think about everything, Grinder started to view what Foxkit did as a favor. She had exposed a weakness in himself that he wasn't happy with and thus needed to improve himself.
They're rivalry is more that the two of them will meet up every now and then and spar. Once Kitfox knocks Grinder out, she tends to steal whatever money he has on him.
I've recently joined Shadowrun Denver, a mush community, with an Australian griffin shaman by the street name of Grinder (Whom used to be a pirate, but that is neither here nor there.)
While hanging out at a bar he met a woman whom had clearly wanted to be a fox girl, with the eyes, ears and tail, by the name of Kitfox. The two talked for a bit before Kitfox cast and illusion spell on Grinder and tried to steal his wallet... only for Grinder to resist the spell and be insulted by the slight against him before he began to chase her down to claim blood.
Kitfox vanished from the physical plane, leaving the wallet behind, reveling her nature as a free spirit. Grinder when Astral and pursed for a while before losing her because his intelligence was somewhat average and he couldn't keep up.
Once he had the chance to calm down and think about everything, Grinder started to view what Foxkit did as a favor. She had exposed a weakness in himself that he wasn't happy with and thus needed to improve himself.
They're rivalry is more that the two of them will meet up every now and then and spar. Once Kitfox knocks Grinder out, she tends to steal whatever money he has on him.
I've never had a rival to any of my PCs. A real shame too, I would have liked to have one with some of the characters I've had (The swordmaster would be a perfect PC to have a rival with).
I'm currently in a game where I have a 'friendly rival' due to some NPC-relationship mechanics leaving us pseudo-siblings (as in, educated by the same grandmotherly individual, and actual siblings of people who often hang out together (him being adopted, me being half-sibling))
There's been many hijinx of one trying to out-Intimidate the other, to the detriment of the poor goblins.
I think there would be more fun stuff to mention if I wasn't trying to keep it quiet - we were the most vocal players, and I was trying to get the others to join in. So, humor had to take a back seat to keeping the game alive, I'm afraid.
"None that were good enough to either survive the first encounter or function as someone that could actually rival you rival without the DM being arbitrary and unfair just for the sake of drama. You are basically Gary Oak "too good to be challenged", Reimu "you just die", or Spike "the plot makes you a butt monkey"."
"MLP Spike or Buffy Spike?"
"Buffy Spike, you know awesome and badass that the plot's just mean to."
Interesting note about that "DM fiat win rival" deal? I've only dealt with it twice. The first time once I realized the rival wasn't that good, the DM was just making him win, I responded by "giving up" in the DM's words. If the 'rival' plot device showed up I didn't compete and just let him win. The whole group soon just ignored him. It got to the point that we basically left the rival alone to fight an ancient red dragon while the party just left. He still won unlike the 'cowards'. I don't think the DM ever got that we didn't freaking care about the guy, who was basically a DM God-PC that just wasn't in the party. Early high school D&D usually sucks.
The second time it happened a couple years later I decided o mess with the DM pulling that shit. Instead of getting frustrated/motivated to beat/obsessed (which the DM expected to become a motivator he could yank for plot manipulation), my character instead went fanboy on the 'rival'. And why not, the guy was clearly quite awesome and the people adored him; my character was just one more fan. The campaign continued anyway on the "right" railroad tracks, but died in less than a month. We started a new game with a different DM, and the previous DM refused to join because we were "retarded" and "didn't get his game." High school.
Once upon a time, back when I ran Hackmaster 4th Edition, I tried to cobble together a rival adventuring party to challenge my own. Each character was chosen either as an evil opposite for an existing character, to appeal to the weakness of the player, or was meant to be an evil reflection on another player's usual character type. They were part of this long, involved plan to get the group back to a legendary lost dungeon they'd discovered. The group had ignored about half of what was in the module I was using and I came up with the idea that there might be something bigger and better hidden in a new area I'd created for the purpose of this story. (And they hadn't at all been subtle about the dungeon they'd found, what with selling the customized pewter mugs they'd found with the place's name and coat of arms on it)
None of them fell for it. The one member of the evil party who'd maneuvered her way into the heart of the ladies' man paladin couldn't get anything out of him regarding the keep. They weren't getting the hints that there might be more out there worth finding. At one point, I even had one of the evil NPCs even dug up the corpse of a dead player character who'd once been part of the group and arranged for them to wake up one morning finding that character's disembodied hand clutching one of the engraved mugs.
Nothing. Not because they saw through the trick. Oh, no. But because they'd found so enough treasure in the nearby caves that the local merchants couldn't afford to buy it all and their first priority was finding the nearest big city to sell all of their loot.
None of them fell for it. The one member of the evil party who'd maneuvered her way into the heart of the ladies' man paladin couldn't get anything out of him regarding the keep. They weren't getting the hints that there might be more out there worth finding. At one point, I even had one of the evil NPCs even dug up the corpse of a dead player character who'd once been part of the group and arranged for them to wake up one morning finding that character's disembodied hand clutching one of the engraved mugs.
Nothing. Not because they saw through the trick. Oh, no. But because they'd found so enough treasure in the nearby caves that the local merchants couldn't afford to buy it all and their first priority was finding the nearest big city to sell all of their loot.
Um... what else do you do with loot? Selling it's probably faster than building a dungeon of their own to stash it in while they quest, and surer to work.
They did the math, and found that they could build a mansion out of gold.
Screw that! They built giant robot lions!
I never go without plans for MY loot.
Such as having sketched out roughly what it'd cost in materials to build your own Earth-sized planet in Pathfinder (Most of the cost is making the spell permanent, actually) It'd probably be flat, because why make it round when there's no benefit, but still.
It isn't even all that much - a few generations of the top magic-item-makers working hard would buy them enough to pay for it AND pay the fee for the 20th-level wizard to do it. It'd even be a better world than the Material Plane (because you can make it super fertile and stuff)
So, mansion of gold? Nah, I'll just retire to my family's private continent.
On the smaller scale, I find Pathfinder's rules for magical items allow for a lot of knick-knacks to sink gold into - bandages of cure light, lantern of dancing lights, wrench of repair, etcetera.
Gold is so soft though. They wouldn't be very tough robot lions. Though gold for the electrical components would be very efficient!
A shame, really.
It's so hard to find people who deal in macaroni art and jars of human blood.
If only there was some sort of shortage, such as due to an increase in accidents leading to blood-loss, so that they'd start providing more of an incentive to donate.
... I see where you are coming at this from, that much I can say. I just don't know how to respond to it. (good, bad ,???)
On a side note to blood donations, I can't even loss a table spoons worth without coming close to passing out.
On a side note to blood donations, I can't even loss a table spoons worth without coming close to passing out.
Mostly laboratories.