Cheese Sandwich: A sonnet, a sonnet... Alright, gimme a few minutes.
Pinkie Pie: You want some help?
Cheese Sandwich: Absolutely not.
(12 MIN. LATER)
Cheese Sandwich: Okay, we're ready!
Pinkie Pie: I helped!
Cheese Sandwich: Shut up.
The Super Duper Party Pony Cheese;
I always knew that was the kind of po-
ny I would be. My party's made to please,
so even boring moms can join the flow!
The Super Duper Party Guarantee:
this gig will be completely off the chain!
The Super Duper Party Pony, me;
there's clearly something crazy in my brain!
I knew from when I was a little colt,
to dance and play was what I wanted most.
Ev'rypony said I was a dolt,
but then I showed them I'm an awesome host!
The Super Party Pony nonpareil;
that's who will run your birthday bash this day!
I'm talking huge piñatas filled with cake,
Hawaiian shirts, and very fizzy drinks.
Then flip and dive into a fruit punch lake.
Let loose! Who cares what anypony thinks?!
Partake in pie fights, fly some wacky kites,
pass out with streamers in your mane, so calm,
then wake up just in time to see the lights
of my tremendous super party bomb!
That's not to mention all my combat tricks.
I'm indispensible; I've got your backs.
If what you need's some help with taking licks,
I'm optimized for giving free attacks!
So now you all know truly "Who am I":
A better party Bard than Pinkie Pie.
Rarity: ...Huh! Impressive!
Applejack: Have to admit, that takes some know-how and hard work.
Pinkie Pie: You did great! They loved it!
Cheese Sandwich: Why thank y– (Gilda:) Waaait a minute!! Why the heck are you helping me beat you?!
That second to last panel will forever be burned into my mind as Gilda exploding out of a Cheese Sandwich like a xenomorph. With frosting and sprinkles instead of blood. O.o
I'm gonna have to see if I can't stat that up. A golem that seems harmless, but is filled with more dangerous stuff that busts out when you hit it enough would be an Awesome encounter.
"I'm gonna have to see if I can't stat that up. A golem that seems harmless, but is filled with more dangerous stuff that busts out when you hit it enough would be an Awesome encounter."
I don't know, it didn't work so well for Mami in Madoka Magica...
Not sure what system you play, but in Pathfinder a character with a high enough escape artist skill can crawl up someones rectum and burst out of their chest. As I recall it is possible to reliably use this trick by level five or six, I can't quite remember.
A piñata golem... I wouldn't mind making some Pathfinder stats for it. Of course, I'd use it as a lesson to the party to not attack something just because it looks fun to it...
The one thing you should never do is 'attack an unarmed combatant/ally of mine'.
For if you do, I will 'I will ensure I multiclass into barbarian, monk, and something else with the challenge ability for the next time we meet'.
That's quite the transition. Not only the image of Gilda popping out of Cheese, but the way the "voice" I read them as INSTANTLY swaps back to Gilda's.
(Mind, I can switch those voices around if I want to. I've occasionally entertained myself by reading the Bible in the voices of Star Trek actors, for instance. But things like this... well, there's a default. And that default, in this case, changed very quickly.)
Okay, I know this is last comic's thing, but after last night, I feel the need to get in on the action.
Name: Tataka (no last name given)
Species: Rakshasa
Unique marks: Tiger-print fur, has four arms, travels with a sabertooth tiger, always carries a wine flask
Crimes: Wanted for numerous crimes, including unsealing an ancient Lovecraftian horror and ramming 13 swords up the mayor's butt
Warnings: Extremely dangerous, highly-skilled with both swords and fire magic
Grade: A
Bounty: 15,000 bits
Wanted dead or alive
...
...
God help me, I can't unsee it! Curse you, Digo Dragon!!
A shame someone filled him with grumpy griffons.
I don't know, it didn't work so well for Mami in Madoka Magica...
That was good, that was really good.
Now to pen up some chest bursters to scare the hell out of some adventurers.
The one thing should never do is _______.
For if you do, I will ________.
Me:killing innocent beings, age you till your nothing but time dust.
For if you do, I will make a mockery of the answers.
Not sure I can top that, even if I stuck to the spirit of the question.
My character's name is ANW.
For if you do, I will 'I will ensure I multiclass into barbarian, monk, and something else with the challenge ability for the next time we meet'.
(Mind, I can switch those voices around if I want to. I've occasionally entertained myself by reading the Bible in the voices of Star Trek actors, for instance. But things like this... well, there's a default. And that default, in this case, changed very quickly.)
And yes, xenomorph Gilda with instantly-changing voice is cool.
Name: Tataka (no last name given)
Species: Rakshasa
Unique marks: Tiger-print fur, has four arms, travels with a sabertooth tiger, always carries a wine flask
Crimes: Wanted for numerous crimes, including unsealing an ancient Lovecraftian horror and ramming 13 swords up the mayor's butt
Warnings: Extremely dangerous, highly-skilled with both swords and fire magic
Grade: A
Bounty: 15,000 bits
Wanted dead or alive
And, hopefully, now, Gilda can admit that it was pretty fun.