Friendship is Dragons
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Page 984 - Medieval Ideas
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"Oh no", the best phrase when someone adds 2 and 2 and gets 6.
More than they expected. ;)
That's not a mistake though, several of the gala dresses (Aj's included) only come with hoofwear on their front hooves. Which, I assume, is because the point is decoration rather than practicality and their hind legs are mostly hidden by their dresses.
But she has on all four hooves.
And the panel clearly shows 3 of them.
And the panel clearly shows 3 of them.
No, one of the hooves has a boot. Color is hard to recognize with the tiny slivers of shape, but there's green down there.
Ah, you're right. I thought it was two hooves and a boot with heel.
Oh Pinkie Pie.
You give some good ideas.
Catapult stories.
You give some good ideas.
Catapult stories.
So, this story doesn't involve a catapult. It does involve a barista.
In a very silly Pathfinder campaign there was once a superstitious Gnome Titan Mauler Barbarian. He and his friends went on many adventures and fought many undead and Kaorti, and good times were had by all.
However, it was on one adventure the rogue had gotten grabbed by a young adult skeletal dragon while in the courtyard of a small castle. As the dragon started to fly off, I asked the GM if there was a barista on the walls.
There is, he says. Why?
Well, long story short, the gnome was fired at the dragon via barista, the dragon was turned to a pile of bones and there's now a gnome-sized dent in the castle tower... right under the window.
In a very silly Pathfinder campaign there was once a superstitious Gnome Titan Mauler Barbarian. He and his friends went on many adventures and fought many undead and Kaorti, and good times were had by all.
However, it was on one adventure the rogue had gotten grabbed by a young adult skeletal dragon while in the courtyard of a small castle. As the dragon started to fly off, I asked the GM if there was a barista on the walls.
There is, he says. Why?
Well, long story short, the gnome was fired at the dragon via barista, the dragon was turned to a pile of bones and there's now a gnome-sized dent in the castle tower... right under the window.
...ballista. You mean ballista. A Barista is someone who makes and serves coffee and such.
Either that, or the gnome has a VERY violent intestinal reaction to coffee. You know, like Rodger Rabbit has to liquor.
"No coffee for you!" DING!
"YAH-HOO-WHEEEEeeeeee......!"
"YAH-HOO-WHEEEEeeeeee......!"
"No coffee for you!" DING!
"YAH-HOO-WHEEEEeeeeee......!"
"YAH-HOO-WHEEEEeeeeee......!"
No matter how many times I get downvoted on r/trebuchetmemes, I will insist that mangonels and ballistas and trebuchets are each a type of catapult.
This one campaign I was in started with testing a gatling ballista. Enchanted to create its own ammo, gearwork to self-reload and fire when cranked (thus the need for gatling), mounted on a turret on the tallest tower in a city. It was basically a lawn sprinkler of doom with a 9 mile radius, far enough to reach the outlying towns, able to take down one mook per turn as they charged across the open fields between town and city. The idea was to reduce any invading army to its few named badasses by the time they reached the city walls, whereupon single-target anti-badass defenses would take over.
In practice it was mostly used for deliveries (such as fertilizer to farms, or precious metals and other such cargoes to a fleet traveling up the local river demanding tribute: when several multi-ton slugs of silver impacted the riverbank nearby at high velocity, they took the slugs and exercised the better part of valor), but eventually (years later IRL, toward the end of the campaign) the city was invaded, and it worked.
The first shot fired from the ballista was recovered, and turned into a stone elemental who became a minor recurring NPC. The foundations of the ballista became the city governor's office and local printing press/copy shop, and grew into a network of city services.
Okay so the party scout was scouting out an enemy cap, and had to hide from some guards near a catapult. He just so happened to hide near the launch lever. And one of the guards, foolishly, got up on the catapult so he could moon the camp they were setting up to aim, maybe even take a dump to send to them in the morning. The scout promptly launched him, killed the other guard, and set the catapults on fire to cover his escape. The launched guard hit the king's tent, waking him up and prompting a strike force, which showed up in time to save the party.
Okay so the party scout was scouting out an enemy cap, and had to hide from some guards near a catapult. He just so happened to hide near the launch lever. And one of the guards, foolishly, got up on the catapult so he could moon the camp they were setting up to aim, maybe even take a dump to send to them in the morning. The scout promptly launched him, killed the other guard, and set the catapults on fire to cover his escape. The launched guard hit the king's tent, waking him up and prompting a strike force, which showed up in time to save the party.
Obligatory "The Gamers" reference:
"You're going to backstab him... with a F***ing SIEGE weapon??"
"You're going to backstab him... with a F***ing SIEGE weapon??"
Heh. Reminds me of an old Spelljammer campaign I ran a long time back.
I was running it like Star Trek. You'd be surprised how well the silly SJ game races fit the Star Trek model. Anyway the PC's are trying to create the Federation by allying the local game worlds together. Along the way, they loot an enemy ship, and I'm rolling totally random from the loot table for laughs.
One of the items they find is a "chest of holding," which is a larger SJ version of the bag of holding, roughly the size of a large room. I roll one item inside the chest, and then roll again totally random.
I get a +2 heavy ballista.
I blink, giggle, and then just run with it. The PC's open up the chest, and find themselves staring at the business end of a loaded +2 heavy ballista. They reason that the weapon was conceived as a way to put a heavy siege weapon on a spelljamming ship which might not normally be allowed to have such a heavy weapon mount on it. They use it for the same purpose, giving their tiny merchant trawler a *significantly* heavier punch than it should have had.
I was running it like Star Trek. You'd be surprised how well the silly SJ game races fit the Star Trek model. Anyway the PC's are trying to create the Federation by allying the local game worlds together. Along the way, they loot an enemy ship, and I'm rolling totally random from the loot table for laughs.
One of the items they find is a "chest of holding," which is a larger SJ version of the bag of holding, roughly the size of a large room. I roll one item inside the chest, and then roll again totally random.
I get a +2 heavy ballista.
I blink, giggle, and then just run with it. The PC's open up the chest, and find themselves staring at the business end of a loaded +2 heavy ballista. They reason that the weapon was conceived as a way to put a heavy siege weapon on a spelljamming ship which might not normally be allowed to have such a heavy weapon mount on it. They use it for the same purpose, giving their tiny merchant trawler a *significantly* heavier punch than it should have had.
It's what's after this that might surprise you. The Best Night Ever is far from over.