Page 1032 - Gag (To) Order

1st Mar 2018, 5:00 AM in Intermission 11
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Gag (To) Order
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Author Notes:

Newbiespud 1st Mar 2018, 5:00 AM edit delete
Author: Winged Cat

Guest Author's Note: "Pinkie Pie may be rubbing off, but a Story Time prompt from those disarming instructions: tell a story of when a book, or other inanimate object, rolled a Charisma check (or equivalent in another system)."

Newbiespud's Note: Got another half of a podcast episode, to be completed next update!
Tales of New Dunhaven Session 15-1 - The Til Death Job, Part 1: Libsyn YouTube

Notice: Guest comic submissions are open! Guidelines here. Deadline: January 27th, 2023.



Digo Dragon 1st Mar 2018, 6:34 AM edit delete reply
Digo Dragon
A trap that came with instructions? Uh... would you want to trust that? Cause that sounds pretty suspect, unless maybe it is the instruction book that dungeon guards get at orientation so they know their way around dungeon patrolling without setting off traps themselves. Maybe then.

An inanimate object that rolled Charisma? Can't think of any.
FanOfMostEverything 1st Mar 2018, 6:45 AM edit delete reply
Two words: Intelligent items. Sure, most of them are weapons, but not all of them.
Digo Dragon 1st Mar 2018, 7:32 AM edit delete reply
Digo Dragon
Well I've had the party fight animated objects all the time; chairs, couches, intelligent danging sword, viking armoire... but nothing comes to mind of an instance any of those items had to make a Charisma check.

As for smart dungeon guards, savvy adventurers would target the dim ones. Or go raid their rooms for notes, keys, etc.
Joe the Rat 1st Mar 2018, 8:25 AM edit delete reply
Thank you for that wonderful, wonderful idea on what to give my players.
Jennifer 1st Mar 2018, 7:13 AM edit delete reply
The problem is that smart dungeon guards would not carry the book around. Where would she find it?

I've always liked the Lord Darcy mysteries, in which science doesn't exist but magic is a science. Every spell has its principles. A good "forensic sorcerer" can examine a spell and work out how to counter it. Whether he has the ability is another thing.
Guest 1st Mar 2018, 8:55 AM edit delete reply
For some reason, I'm thinking of that "world's most comfortable chair" from The Tick.
Classic Steve 1st Mar 2018, 9:11 AM edit delete reply
Which, apparently, had nothing to do with Chairface.
Digo Dragon 1st Mar 2018, 10:32 AM edit delete reply
Digo Dragon
Missed opportunity I would say. :>
The Old One 1st Mar 2018, 11:27 AM edit delete reply
I had a wizard who would pose as a "Johnson", that would hire a newbie party of adventurers to steal 5 books from his library.

As soon as someone entered the library and cast Detect Magic, a heavy wall would slam down. On the wall, in raised letters, was a lengthy admonishment about people who stole and how they needed to apologize. (There were also a series of holes in the wall underneath)
The necessary books were all at least 10lbs (except one that was 4lbs), the walls were enchanted against spider climb (and gloriously smooth to boot), the bookshelves would collapse if climbed, and the "mosaic tiles" in front of each one was a veneer over tanglefoot bag material, so anybody falling off would get stuck. The (other) books were animated to attack if they were disturbed.
The reading chair, pedastle (looked like Atlas holding a shelf) and table were also animated to attack if disturbed.

If the party could figure out how to get the books and escape, they were deemed worth hiring, although their initial pay was based on how much of a mess they made.
Dragonflight 2nd Mar 2018, 9:47 AM edit delete reply
After Titan A.E., intelligent guards became something of a *thing* in our group. They show up from time to time, which is usually when someone will drop that line about "Never saw that one coming..."

But yes, having a guard walking around with the idiot's guide to surviving his own patrol is kinda funny.
ChaoticNeutralForLife 1st Mar 2018, 7:36 AM ChaoticNeutral4Life edit delete reply
It was a chair.
My campaign uses a custom table for Confusion.
And one of our players had access to Plane Shift.
Needling Haystacks 1st Mar 2018, 8:33 AM edit delete reply
Intriguing. Care to elaborate?
ChaoticNeutral4Life 2nd Mar 2018, 8:28 AM ChaoticNeutral4Life edit delete reply
So, they were Confused by a trap in that room.
The Cleric who always kept Plane Shift prepared as an exit strategy rolled a 93, which on the table is "You cast one random prepared spell at the nearest object of furniture to you".
I had never thought it would actually come up.
BTW, the chair failed.
Winged Cat 1st Mar 2018, 10:13 AM edit delete reply
Winged Cat
Since no one guessed it: the edited panel in yesterday's comic is #4, which originally had Pinkie Pie in the shot leaning in above Spike. I was thinking people might wonder if it was #5 or #6 given the color difference - but no, that's how they originally came (in the same scene, even).
Digo Dragon 1st Mar 2018, 10:34 AM edit delete reply
Digo Dragon
That was one of the panels I thought of, but I was way off on the reason (I was thinking something about Rarity or that someone was supposed to be on her left).
GW 1st Mar 2018, 11:27 PM edit delete reply
Throw a rope and pull her out?
Winged Cat 2nd Mar 2018, 1:35 PM edit delete reply
Winged Cat
Would have worked, had they thought of it. (Pinkie Pie was almost there.) But they found out how to deactivate the trap first, so they went with that solution instead.
Werefrog 2nd Mar 2018, 4:11 AM Book's Charisma edit delete reply
In Earthdawn, the party went into a cave where a book was placed by a dragon, and the book was sapient.

The book's job was to maintain a certain dragon magic, and help create half-dragons. However, after a couple millennia in the cave, it became a bit senile.
Guest 2nd Mar 2018, 5:15 AM edit delete reply
I kind of like the idea of a senile book. The idea of something specifically designed to be a repository of information having memory problems is just silly.
SilverShadow4 3rd Mar 2018, 11:33 PM edit delete reply
Shamelessly stealing this
Hariman 2nd Mar 2018, 10:46 PM edit delete reply
There was a doorway sealed by an enchantment that needed to hear a prayer to the specific goddess whose follower was buried in that tomb.

The first religion check and the resultant not good enough prayer was rather comical.