Page 113 - Lost Chickens, Part 3

26th Apr 2012, 6:00 AM in Intermission 1
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Lost Chickens, Part 3
Average Rating: 5 (2 votes)
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Author Notes:

Newbiespud 26th Apr 2012, 6:00 AM edit delete
Guest author: Digo

"One thing that makes me happy as a Game Master is when my players read the rules pertaining to their character abilities. This way we don't have a situation like the party jumping off a mountain and clinging to the wizard with the Feather Fall spell - only to find too late that they exceeded the maximum weight of the spell. Again."

Notice: Guest comic submissions are open! Guidelines here. Deadline: January 27th, 2023.



darkwulf23 26th Apr 2012, 6:07 AM edit delete reply
It's not like we don't read the rules,it's more like we forget the minor details of the rules and try to abuse the perceived loopholes. Doesn't always work but we try anyway.

Any way the next panel is when rocks fall, isn't it. Or at least the symbolic two by four to get them in line.
Digo 26th Apr 2012, 7:00 AM edit delete reply
Forgetting minor details is alright. Even I as a Dungeon Master will forget details.

In my example, I recall that the issue was that no one in the party recalled that Feather Fall has a weight limit. At least in this particular case it was because no one read the spell. They just went on the context of the spell's name and description in the spell index.
But they were new players at the time so it happens. :)
MirrorImage 26th Apr 2012, 8:11 PM edit delete reply
Ah, but sometimes the rules serve as a hindrance and ignoring them makes for a better story. That's half the fun of being the DM - selective ignorance.

Had fun with that a long while ago. Was playing a Chaos Magic Sorcerer (4e), and one of my powers was Chaos Bolt - 1d10+CHA damage, and if I rolled even on the d20 to attack, I could make an additional attack each time it came up even against a different target. Mind you, this power is At-Will; it was essentially the Magic Missile of Chaos Sorcerers.

Of course, what I failed to notice is that the second attack was not 1d10+CHA damage, but rather a flat 1d6. Took about 4 sessions for me to realize it.

Besides, it's Magic. It works because I say it does.
Dragonfodder 26th Apr 2012, 9:14 PM edit delete reply
I've been playing a Chaos Magic Sorcerer at epic level (25th as of this writing) and It is such a fun class, barring you remember ALL of your random, conditional modifiers. That being said, another fun thing on the rules with chaos bolt- it ALWAYS jumps when you roll an even on a hit, regardless if you have run out of enemies. Don't worry though, you tend to make new enemies when the party gets the wrong end of your +30 dmg bonus.
Dragonfodder 26th Apr 2012, 9:22 PM edit delete reply
Speaking of which, the DM tends to overlook a few more rules that should be nerfing you a bit if you are almost as much of a danger to the party as you are to the enemies. Of my entire spell list, I believe there is only 2 damage based powers I have that have a 0% chance of harming party members that are too close to me :P
Ranubis 26th Apr 2012, 6:11 AM edit delete reply
No! Not Angel!

Wait, hold on...
*Remembers 'Putting Your Hoof Down'*

Yes! Destroy that vile offspring of the Killer Rabbit! MWAHAHA!
Zuche 26th Apr 2012, 6:23 AM edit delete reply
Ow. I have hurt my ribs from the laughing.
Jason Shadow 26th Apr 2012, 4:32 PM edit delete reply
Well, I have to agree that, in that episode, Angel took his tenth level in "Supreme Jerkass". But, to be fair, it seemed like EVERYONE in that episode gained at least one level in that particular prestige class. Pretty much everyone we'd seen before was OOC to some degree (besides, perhaps, Bonbon,) so I think it's unfair to say that Angel's irredemably bound for the Bunny Fire.

I find it odd how, as far as Angel is concerned, people tend to overplay his "Putting Your Hoof Down" aspects, while ignoring his "Hurricane Fluttershy" ones. It's probably because Fluttershy's so - in her own words - "weak and helpless". After all, Trixie has WAY more fans than Gilda (or at least louder ones, anyway).

But then, it's a habit of people in general to accentuate the negative. I mean, people tend to fixate on, for instance, Rarity's "greedy tendencies", when she's ALSO the Element of Generosity and usually lives up to the title, and...

Aaaaaaand this rant's going nowhere. Fluttershy is Best Pony. Shutting up now.
Ranubis 26th Apr 2012, 6:01 PM edit delete reply
I'm sure that we did heap a little bit of excess rage on Angel after that, and he did have to deal with The Stare, but really, when any character has the brass to pull a freaking pimp slap on Best Pony, there's going to be consequences.
sjosten 26th Apr 2012, 9:31 PM edit delete reply
When any character as the brass to pull a pimp slap on ANY of the mane 6 there will be severe consequences. Except maybe RD, she would probably deserve it.
Bronymous 27th Apr 2012, 7:26 AM edit delete reply
That was, without a doubt the greatest moment of the show prior to the wedding. Fluttershy knows her place now. In the kitchen, making sandwiches (or salads, whatever).
darkwulf23 27th Apr 2012, 8:37 AM edit delete reply
Dude, no. Not cool. And I'm not just talking about Fluttershy, I'm talking on behalf of all the women out there who suffer physical abuse. How would you feel if someone joked about your mother or sister being abused like that.
Bronymous 27th Apr 2012, 9:34 AM edit delete reply
I joke about my mother and/or sister like that. It's a joke. It's the internet. Try not to ruin everyone else's good time by getting upset over nothing.
darkwulf23 27th Apr 2012, 10:10 AM edit delete reply
I don't care, I'm offended. My cousin had to go through something like that for six months. I don't find it funny at all and I don't think abuse is nothing.
Bronymous 27th Apr 2012, 10:40 AM edit delete reply
No, abuse is not nothing. But harmless offhand comments are. Your cousin's situation was unfortunate, but by your wording I can guess that its over now. Everyone has bad things happen to them. Getting angry at humor, at people who make jokes, no matter how tasteless you think they are, doesn't solve those problems.

So for what its worth, I will apologize. But now know that if you ever make a joke or comment that could possibly be construed as offensive even in the slightest, I will call you on it.
darkwulf23 27th Apr 2012, 10:46 AM edit delete reply
OK, I accept your apology. And go ahead and call me out on it. I say some tasteless things on the internet from time to time but considering that this is a website based around a kids show, I try to keep it PG on here. However all that I as is that you don't twist my words around, and if what I said could be taken two different ways, assume I mean the more milder version.
Bronymous 27th Apr 2012, 10:52 AM edit delete reply
Negative. I said offensive in the slightest- anything, no matter how you mean it. Because that's what happened here. You may not like what I said, but I despise blatant hypocrisy.

I'll leave it at that.
darkwulf23 27th Apr 2012, 11:04 AM edit delete reply
Fine, then go ahead.
Zuche 27th Apr 2012, 11:17 AM edit delete reply
Holding a grudge over what you claim is just a joke on the internet, Bronymous? That belies the apology you offered, and might even be taking your humour a bit too seriously.

Besides, weren't you taking exception to a blanket statement about limited vocabularies just a few days ago? We've all got our triggers.
Bronymous 27th Apr 2012, 11:28 AM edit delete reply
Yeah but I recognized it as humor and responded with humor. I wasn't actually offended. And I am fully aware of how my apology can be inferred, I designed it like that.

Ultimately its holding a grudge because someone saw fit to ruin my fun, and honestly I probably wouldn't have even acted on it after this, and definitely not after I got him back the first time. Im really just making a point.

Don't tell him that, though.
darkwulf23 27th Apr 2012, 11:40 AM edit delete reply
You know what, I don't care right now. Call me out. Comment on every thing I said, every little hypocritical thing I say on the internet. Because I am a hypocrite. I try not to be and I work hard at improving that flaw of mine, but in some way or another, I fail. But now, I am done with this post. So go ahead and lower yourself to attacking someone on the internet. I know I have, this post is the proof.
Newbiespud 27th Apr 2012, 12:31 PM edit delete reply

I'm sorry, Bronymous. The CORRECT answer was:

"I apologize, darkwulf23. I meant it as a joke. I don't personally believe that those attitudes are justifiable at all, but I do believe that offensive humor can be funny in small doses, so I employ such humor from time to time. However, I also understand that it can be genuinely hurtful to those that are sensitive to it. If you don't want me to make those kinds of jokes, then I'll respect your sensitivity and hold back a little on this site from now on. I hope we can move on from this without any hard feelings."

Better luck next time.
Chakat Firepaw 27th Apr 2012, 12:55 PM edit delete reply
'Harmless offhand comments' that involve casual sexism aren't harmless, even when not intended as a sexist remark[1]. Being slapped down for it is no different than being slapped down for saying things like "he Jewed me on that deal," or "that show is so gay."

Remember, when someone calls you on this sort of thing you should take it as less "you are a bad person," and more "do you know what you just said sounds like?"

[1] In fact, it not being so intended is part of what makes it casual sexism.
Ranubis 27th Apr 2012, 1:49 PM edit delete reply
Uh, whoops. Sorry, didn't mean for this to happen. :'(
darkwulf23 27th Apr 2012, 2:20 PM edit delete reply
Naw, this, that isn't your fault. Just me and Bronymous fighting over something that had nothing to do with the comic.
Bronymous 27th Apr 2012, 10:52 PM edit delete reply
Ok guys, I know I said I would leave it, but...

Seriously? Way to wait until the argument was over with to chime in. And since apparently I can't count on a single one of you third parties to take an objective look at the issue and try to see it from my point of view, I will make this, my whole point, as clear as possible.

You cannot hold another person to your own standards. You CAN'T, and to try is to be more ignorant and insensitive than any offhand, casual comment. If someone says or does something you don't like, you either let it slide as just a misunderstanding, no big deal, OR you voice your concerns in a rational, mature manner. You do not throw out accusations of personal insult, get haughty and offended and make a scene. To but it bluntly, "the idea that one would get offended, offends me." The best thing to do? Deal with it, then let it drop.

And just to drive the point home (hopefully, if possible) about how ridiculous it is that you all jumped down my throat about this, I direct your attention to the comment directly preceding mine, in which a similar joke under similar pretense was made and nobody cared.

OK? Are we done now? Everyone chill? Onto the next page.
Newbiespud 27th Apr 2012, 11:52 PM edit delete reply
You make a casual edgy joke that is funny because it is offensive, in an ironic way.

Then you get morally outraged when someone gets offended by it.

I give up. :D Your... unique perspective eludes me.

We respect cultural differences. We can respect moral ones, too.
Raxon 20th Jun 2012, 7:23 AM edit delete reply
And thus, Chaotic Neutral has has found a voice.
NetLurker 13th Mar 2013, 9:59 AM edit delete reply
Dear Princess Celestia...
Guest 26th Apr 2012, 6:17 AM edit delete reply
Silly DM, NPC's can't frighten PC's with shows of non-violent force, at least not new ones. You need to at least knock a few HP off one of them to earn their respect.
Bronymous 26th Apr 2012, 10:10 AM edit delete reply
More like a few dozen HP in one hit, otherwise its still a winnable fight.
Zuche 26th Apr 2012, 6:31 AM edit delete reply
"Charge!" has never been cried in such adorable fashion before this day.

Can someone remind me where that fourth panel originated? I can't figure out what would have caused Scootaloo to make that expression, especially while her companions were wincing like that.
darkwulf23 26th Apr 2012, 6:40 AM edit delete reply
I think it was the episode "Stare Master." About when they were worried that the cockatrice was going to turn Fluttershy into stone.
Zuche 26th Apr 2012, 7:06 AM edit delete reply
Ah, thank you. I'd wondered if it had been taken from another episode.

Now I find Scootaloo's response even more disturbing, as though she was considering the economic potential of a reliable petrification service.
The MunchKING 26th Apr 2012, 7:45 AM edit delete reply
The MunchKING
I think they're all from Stare master, as that's the only time all three CMC are over at Fluttershy's.
Zuche 26th Apr 2012, 7:52 AM edit delete reply
Sure, there's that. I'd just thought that one panel, where you can't see anything but them, might have come from some other source. Admittedly, that might be an unnecessary complication.
Guest 26th Apr 2012, 6:59 AM edit delete reply
Either you ride the dm's rails or the rails run you over.
Digo 26th Apr 2012, 7:34 AM Story Time! edit delete reply
Railroading is such a harsh term. I prefer to call it... okay I don't call it anything else. It is what it is. XD
Choo choo.

But I remember once playing in a game where a similar instance of "Party attacks the plot rail" rather than going along with the GM.
I had joined the game a few sessions after everyone else so I was the "New guy". My character was an easy going werewolf who could control his shifting and thus wandered around as a mercenary for hire. The party hired him because they needed muscle to attack this wizard's tower. Okay, straight-forward so far.

We enter the tower and the wizard wishes to use diplomacy, inviting us to dinner to talk over our differences rather than use needless bloodshed. My character is down with it, as is the whole party. I mean, he still gets paid and now gets a free meal?
We talk over the issue at dinner on why the party was after the wizard to begin with. My character doesn't know the background since he's new, so he listens to the conversation, but prioritizes scarfing down that roast chicken on the table.
Turns out there is a misunderstanding and the party works out an agreement to just give the wizard a slap on the wrist and confiscate a minor item that technically doesn't belong to the wizard. The wizard is cool with this.

Halfway through the meal the wizard goes on a tangent that he's hired a new acolyte and bring the new recruit in. It's the BBEG.
Everyone recognizes the character, but me of course. The wizard said he's reforming the new acolyte and the acolyte confirms this. Nope, the party ain't having this. They leap up and over the tables to attack, leaving me confused and hiding under the table with another leg of chicken.

The wizard tries to calm the party down and state that things have changed, but the fight goes on and ends up breaking the item we were confiscating. Oh boy did the wizard get mad.
The wizard went Sauromon on half the party, flinging the fighter across the room like a toy and joining the fight. I was pretty sure I wasn't going to get paid after that...
Zuche 26th Apr 2012, 7:49 AM edit delete reply
But at least you had chicken, right?
Digo 26th Apr 2012, 8:32 AM edit delete reply
Yeah, though it didn't occur to anyone that the food counld have been poisoned.
Luckily it wasn't.
Nom Nom Nom :D
Zarhon 26th Apr 2012, 7:52 AM edit delete reply
Did you get bonus xp for staying in-character?
Digo 26th Apr 2012, 8:31 AM edit delete reply
I did! I was the most laid-back merc ever.
Ranubis 26th Apr 2012, 10:40 AM edit delete reply
"Yeah, sure, you guys go ahead and attack our host. I'll just guard the, uh... food. Yeah, the food. Cool?"
Darkside 26th Apr 2012, 11:37 AM edit delete reply
Reminds me of an event where I was playing a ninja and we were investigating some house in a swamp for a reason I can't recall.

In the house, there was a vampire and a werewolf about to conduct some kind of unspecified ritual. The majority of the party weren't about to let that happen, but I just asked the two if I could have the house after they were done. It was a creepy place in a swamp that was in excellent condition and came with a great library!

The vamp and wolf shrugged and said yes, so I went to the library and started reading. Then the fight between the two and the party burned down the house. Boy was "I" pissed.

(There was some comeuppance later, when we met with the vampire again and he beat up the overzealous paladin)
XandZero2 26th Apr 2012, 8:09 AM edit delete reply
I don't think railroading is as common as some make it out to be. You can lead a horse to water, but if he wants to run off and join the armed uprising against the dark lord, there's no stopping him, ya know?

BTW - what does BBEG mean?

"Big Bad... Earth Giant?"
Zarhon 26th Apr 2012, 8:11 AM edit delete reply
"Big Bad Evil Guy/Gal"
XandZero2 26th Apr 2012, 8:13 AM edit delete reply
I've never heard of an Earth Giant Wizard Acolyte...

And by the way, I love this particular comic series. My guess is that Fluttershy got the CMC forced on her for babysitting duties, and she had to come up with something to preoccupy them.

"I know girls, let's have a D&D session! Ever play D&D? You'll like it!"

It probably worked out great, up to the point where they actually started role-playing.
Digo 26th Apr 2012, 8:35 AM edit delete reply
I did that once way back in old second edition D&D for some kids. I don't remember what the plot was, but half the players picked small creatures form the Monster Manual because they "looked cool".
It lasted about 3 hours before they killed each other on the curiosity of who made the strongest character.
Colin 26th Apr 2012, 8:58 AM edit delete reply
It works too well. :-D
darkwulf23 26th Apr 2012, 1:26 PM edit delete reply
Playing D&D with kids is like watching a gladiator fight. Just sit back and enjoy watching them attack everything under the sun.
Ranubis 26th Apr 2012, 9:07 AM edit delete reply
It’s always good to have a DM who’s willing to bend the rules just a little bit in the Name of Awesome. Our DM Cain is a good example, always up for improvised attacks and awarding bonus damage for decent one-liners.

I’ll leave some of the better examples to him, but I gotta mention what happened last campaign. We just finished up the Crystal Caverns campaign, although half the group wasn’t there, so they’ll get their loot next semester. So it ended up being my Dwarf Paladin and a newish player, a Lawful ‘Totally-not-Evil’ Tiefling Warlock, who tends to spend every free action trying to pickpocket the rest of the party. At the end of the campaign, we come across what is essentially a Wishing Well, in that you can make a wish there within DM approval.

My Paladin goes first, and spends a little bit thinking over a wish. Finally, I decide to make a wish based on my recent ‘betray the party and try to kill our charge’ action, and wish for something that Cain and I are calling the Oath of Sacrifice: If one of our party members technically dies, the Paladin will die in their place. This won’t come back to bite me AT ALL.

As a bonus, it turns out making a ‘Selfless Wish’ at the well gives an additional award of a high-level magic item, which Cain said he’d pick out himself. So, worked out ok in the end, right?

Then, right after I’ve made this wish, the Warlock walks up and wishes for success in their next roll. Before Cain approves this, he asks what the Warlock’s going to do next.
“Oh, I’m going to rob the Paladin blind. That’s ok, right?”

Thankfully Cain was able to talk him down to a bag of infinite false gold (Insight Check). So now we’ve got an Evil Warlock running around our world with the biggest counterfeiting scheme in history.

So, yeah. Can’t wait to see what the rest of the party ends up wishing for.
Zuche 26th Apr 2012, 11:19 AM edit delete reply
When we had a junior table (ages 9-13) for that adventure, one of the players at it was a little bit annoyed to have been denied the killing blow against the BBEG. To be fair, he'd critted against her four times, and she'd just directed the party's wizard to bring his rogue down with Magic Missile -- just before the wizard finished her off in turn with the same spell.

So when the time came for wishes, the rogue wished for a chance to taunt her spirit. Unfortunately, he didn't specify a duration, so he was permanently stuck with a ghost that was determined to taunt him right back for the rest of his life.

Fortunately, he was more than happy with this arrangement.
darkwulf23 26th Apr 2012, 1:30 PM edit delete reply
I had a guy who kept on pickpocketing everybody in the group. I was a wizard at the time so the next stealth mission I had him suffer "Pain of Light."

AKA I cast light directly on him while he was sneaking into a hobgoblin camp.
Copper Hamster 26th Apr 2012, 2:25 PM This predates Order of the Stick btw... edit delete reply
We had one of those 'rob the party blind' thieves that the group could never catch in the act. He particularly liked hitting up the wizard, because he tended to have small, valuable stuff. Hard to pickpocket a suit of plate or a bastard sword. (I didn't like him in my game but he was good friends with someone else I really liked having, so yeah. He was always the team jerk/saboteur).

Thief: "As we're pushing through the throng at the gate, I pickpocket the wizard. Want something small and likely valuable, scroll or potion or similar."
Me: (rolls against wizard's item list) "You pickpocket a scroll case from the wizard. He doesn't notice."
Thief: "Ok, I as soon as we're solidly on the road, I 'go scouting', get out of site and look at the contents, what's the spell on it?"
Me: "Let's see you have this listed on the short sheet as Scroll 3, what is that?"
Wizard shows me his detailed character sheet.
Thief: "What do I need to roll to decipher what the spell is?"
Me: "No roll necessary. The scroll says 'I bought the spell Explosive Runes while we were in town'."
Azureink 26th Apr 2012, 3:47 PM edit delete reply
I DM'd a 3.5e group of people that were sort of chaotic. One of them, for some reason, placed an explosive rune spell on a note that he then attached to the door of an orphanage. Needless to say there was much destruction to the town.

Then to make matters stranger, they found some of the orphans that survived and bale-polymorphed them into mounts.

Needless to say, it was a strange session.

Also, I am now a unicorn.
terrycloth 26th Apr 2012, 5:14 PM edit delete reply
Is being turned into a unicorn really a *baleful* polymorph?
darkwulf23 26th Apr 2012, 6:47 PM edit delete reply
Considering that they are hunted for magical components? I'd say so.

Edit: Nevermind, I just read the meaning behind it, I thought it meant something different. The size is too large, so no, it shouldn't be baleful. Still, if the DM didn't catch that or allowed it, he was baleful polymorphed.
Zarhon 26th Apr 2012, 6:30 PM edit delete reply
I recall reading somewhere about a combat wizard build, specifically oriented around the "explosive runes" spell.

First thing, you'd get the explosive runes spell, optimized so it is near-impossible to successfully dispel it and/or it deals a huge blast.

Second, you'd buy a buttload of parchment/cards/other easily throwable objects, that can be written on. You'd inscribe explosive runes on them and (Make sure they don't get triggered by someone accidentally glancing at them though). You can even enlarge/shrink the items so that you can inscribe more than one rune on a single object, or create incredibly small projectiles.

In addition, you could apply a magical/nonmagical material glue or similar sticky solution/spell, that would allow the thrown objects to temporarily stick to whatever they are placed.

Next, you get a wand of dispel ward or any similar spells/items that lets you dispel enchantments, but is pathetically low level. This is because any attempts to dispel explosive runes that fail will instead automatically trigger their explosion. This allows for remote detonation of your runes during combat. According to the rules dispelling your own spells is a auto-success in most cases though. No reason why a GM wouldn't let you "intentionally" fail dispelling them though.

This combination essentially turns you into a wizard demolitions expert that can throw sticky bombs onto opponents, which then explode if the opponent reads them, or once the mage manually dispels them (those 5 sticky scrolls you just threw on that dragon? One mass dispel and they all explode simultaneously).

You can even use it for blasting through doors, walls and castle fortification: Just apply enough runes on what you want destroyed, get the hell away, and use a spyglass(binoculars) to read it.

And of course, you can always have a few hideen on your person in case you get captured.
sjosten 26th Apr 2012, 9:38 PM edit delete reply
Your wizard is either a genius, an Order of the Stick fan, or both. Either way, he earned at least one internet that day.
Copper Hamster 27th Apr 2012, 7:41 AM edit delete reply
I'll have to go with Genius, because this was Pre-Order of the Stick.

It also was Pre-internet-as-we-know it. (1st edition was the last one I ever ran a long term campaign in)

The thing was the group was pretty good about in-game vs. out-of-game knowledge. Everyone knew the thief was stealing from them, but he'd never been caught in game. The wizard rationalized that it was someone stealing his stuff, maybe not even in the party, and he wanted to set a trap for them. He bought 4 scrolls of explosive runes (buying scrolls was cheap, buying the actual spell was expensive), cast them on four pieces of paper like that, and bought three vials of the strongest ingestion poison he could find, which he put in potion bottles. (He was known to generally only carry healing potions). and put all the rest of his magical potions/scrolls in his 'Wizard's Hat'. I forget the exact name we used but it was an item in the campaign that was sort of a very small bag of holding that could only hold small items that were magical in nature, such as wands, scrolls, rods, potions, magic daggers, etc. It also could have it's color and shape changed, within the confines of 'it has to be a hat'. The downside was it took 1 out of combat round or two rounds in combat (Allowing you to make saving throws and get any AC bonuses like a dex bonus) to get anything specific out if it held more than 2-3 things. Which is why he normally had some items 'at hand' rather than in the hat.
xuincherguixe 27th Apr 2012, 12:27 PM edit delete reply
It's this kind of thing that's a big part of D&D for me. Taking advantage of the various properties of something.

Generally spells.

I'm planning to take advantage of the fabricate ( spell a lot. Not sure how far it'll end up going. Filling a bag of holding with bear traps of advanced alloys and other useful mechanical devices? Definitely. Put up secret doors ahead of time to use to hide? What kind of vigilante would I be if I didn't?

Summoning boats and serving as the armory to the entire royal guard thus having enough money to buy my own castle? That one is more iffy.

Combine with wall of iron in order to make the most metal (literal and figurative) fortress ever? Tempting. Very tempting.

Also, I know a good idea when I hear it, so I just looked it up. Seems it works the same way in 3.5.

Best part is this could probably be used to create grenades. With burning magnesium.
Sagetim 27th Apr 2012, 5:02 PM On Fabricate edit delete reply
Don't forget that the best fabricate related abuser is the shaper psion, they get it as a level 4 power, and it's big brother Greater Fabricate as a level 6. Alternatively, combine fabricate, stone shape, wall of stone, and wall of iron. Use stone shape to form pillars of stone, which, due to the rough nature of stone shape, will still count as unworked stone for the purposes of wall of stone, then use wall of stone to fill stone in between the pillars. You can then use fabricate to polish up an inch deep of the surface of the stone on either side, giving it a tile design or what have you, or even providing your walls with custom artwork. For further abuse, you could use your hole making spell of choice (disintigrate, move earth, w/e) to dig a foundation hole for your wizard's tower, then gather up piles of rocks (which, while time consuming, is free). Next you use stone shape to form your chunks of rock into pillars, then use wall of stone to fill in the area between the pillars, for walls, before you cast wall of stone to make a floor, essentially filling in the space between the walls as your target area. After enough castings of wall of stone, you will have a fairly sturdy foundation upon which you can base your structure. For further fun, and abuse, use fabricate to reshape the inside structure of the stone (do note that this would require a fantastic knowledge of engineering). By reshaping the inner structure of your stone walls, you can then recycle sections of stone wall into new structures, creating a complicated webwork of stone throughout the base. This will allow you to custom shape a structure with your magic, then build a ridiculously tall tower on top of it without having the foundation shatter and the whole thing come tumbling down. And for a final, complete abuse, work in some immovable rods at the top level of your tower, allowing you to collapse the whole thing on top of invaders while your personal room (where all the expensive stuff is) remains floating hundreds of feet in the air.
Zarhon 27th Apr 2012, 6:33 PM edit delete reply
I believe I read of an adventure where one of the players, a Deva artificer, used a spell to create temporary magical items of a whichever shape he wants (e.g. ladders)... I think it was "Alchemist's tools/items" or something like that.

One such use of the item was to create an huge staircase over a vertical trapdoor, blocking their pursuers with a magical slab of rock.

Also the adventurers rode on a slab of rock with wheels, which the artificer later improved into a flying slab of rock. It was like a magic carpet, only sturdier and cooler.
Cain 3rd May 2012, 8:43 AM edit delete reply
Of course the warlock has no idea what I have planned... Yes my pretties, we will have our precious... But one of the moments was the infernal pact (I think that's what it's called) warlock tripped a xivort, then used eldritch blast right in it's mouth. the Punchline? "See you in hell."We commented that it was a Vageta style execution.
Raxon 20th Jun 2012, 7:42 AM edit delete reply
@Xuincherguixe Taking advantage of the inherent properties of things? I have one for you. I can destroy the planet with a few simple things. First, an immovable rod, whose position is set not to the planet, but to the sun. Second, a scroll of ghostform. Third, a rune spell that I can attach to the immovable rod, which allows me to transmit my voice to that rune over long distances.

First, I attach the rune to the rod, and then I cast the ghostform spell on it. The rod falls through the ground, and I wait about twenty or thirty seconds, and then dispel the ghostform. It should now be solidly lodged in the planet's tectonic plate. I activate the immovable rod via the rune, and besides itself, it also holds that tectonic plate in place...

As the planet goes on its merry way. Blatant abuse of the unspecific rules regarding such items? Totally. Epic way to take the planet with me while I lay dying? Without a doubt.
Bronymous 26th Apr 2012, 10:13 AM edit delete reply
Plot Assassination.

Grammatical error = immature thoughts.

Toiski 26th Apr 2012, 2:02 PM edit delete reply
Plot plotplotination?
Bronymous 26th Apr 2012, 9:29 PM edit delete reply
That too.
Other Guest 26th Apr 2012, 5:46 PM edit delete reply
"Okay. The druid casts Polymorph to Chickens on you."
"Can a druid..."
"Do we get a saving..."
Zarhon 26th Apr 2012, 6:09 PM edit delete reply
No wonder she has so many chickens/animals, and loves each and every one of them.
Suburbanbanshee 27th Apr 2012, 12:05 PM edit delete reply
FlutterCirce. I like it!

Of course, this begs the question of who Nausicaa, Calypso, and Penelope are. :)
John Walter Biles 26th Apr 2012, 8:08 PM edit delete reply
I once played in a game where we forgot that Sean was playing a Ranger, NOT his Cleric/Wizard in the other campaign. This led to an elaborate plan which then went horribly wrong when he couldn't cast any spells and fell to his death. ^^;;
DCHorror 26th Apr 2012, 10:25 PM edit delete reply
I was once playing two games in a week. One was just a regular weekend game, the other was encounters, so rule books were limited. During the encounters game, I frequently forgot that my ranger did not have the superior movement I was used to because I played a Kobold Monk on the weekends.

Frequently, I found myself at the wrong range because of this.
Guest 27th Apr 2012, 2:43 AM edit delete reply
question: if you don't know anyone that plays D&D how would you find and contact some that does?

I've kinda been wanting to try this ever since I started reading this thing
kriss1989 27th Apr 2012, 9:21 PM edit delete reply
Wizards of the Coast's website has message boards dedicated to just this. Check them out.
kriss1989 27th Apr 2012, 9:22 PM edit delete reply
Another option, if you're willing to do online, is Myth Weavers, The site has built in dice rollers for playing in the forums.
GoldenVision 27th Apr 2012, 6:26 AM edit delete reply
There are several ways you could do it. If you're looking for a real-life game, then there's always your local game/card shop, which likely runs weekly DnD Encounters sessions. If you're okay with online games (still tabletop, just played over Skype or Maptool or something), then I'd recommend RPGTonight, which is both a way to find games and is also the location of the Living Game, which is best described as a D&D Tabletop-Style MMO.
xuincherguixe 27th Apr 2012, 12:42 PM edit delete reply
There's also OpenRPG
Guest 27th Apr 2012, 12:59 PM edit delete reply
Or you could start a brand new group. Talk to your friends, say, "Hey, are any of you interested in trying this new 'roleplaying' thing with me?" and try it all for the first time. It's sure to be bumpy, but I imagine that's how the first RP groups got started all those years ago...
darkwulf23 27th Apr 2012, 1:31 PM edit delete reply
I also have 3 sites I play on., join either the group real adventures or play by post haven.
Or if you want a live game and not a play by post.
Personally I recommend the second one because you have to sign up for d&d insider to enjoy the other two. A useful tool but to get all the benefits, you have to pay a fee per month.
The MunchKING 27th Apr 2012, 8:42 PM edit delete reply
The MunchKING
I personally like RPOL myself.
Cain 3rd May 2012, 8:49 AM edit delete reply
I DM the local Encounters with Ranubis filling in every now and then so I can have a turn playing, two funny moments with him behind the screen, the unicorn eating and the gagged pixie.
Was reading 29th Apr 2012, 12:35 PM edit delete reply
The comic chain a while back, but lost the page. Anyway;