Page 1207 - Tool for School

13th Apr 2019, 6:00 AM in School Raze
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Tool for School
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Author Notes:

Newbiespud 13th Apr 2019, 6:00 AM edit delete
Still working through some old feelings about high school, as you can see.

Got a you-don't-want-to-miss-it Engine Heart one-shot for you all today! Xencarn ran it for us and it was a ton of fun.
The Child's Birthday Party: Podcast | Video

Notice: Guest comic submissions are open! Guidelines here. Deadline: January 27th, 2023.



ANW 13th Apr 2019, 6:11 AM edit delete reply
How many different ways can a DM warn someone that what they are about to do is a bad idea?
Guest 13th Apr 2019, 6:59 AM edit delete reply
"Just to be clear: you want to attack the guy who is surrounded by the corpses of the king's finest guards?"

"... Hypothetically. How's your evasion?"

"Your character came from this town, so they would know [important details about holy shit what are you doing]."

(Long, awkward silence, followed by) "... Okay. Give me five minutes to roll for damage."

(Visibly drop three binders of notes into the bin.) "Right then, won't be needing these anymore. What's that, plot armor? Of course the important NPCs won't survive, you are literally setting the town on fire."

"Hold on, let me find his/her stat sheet..." (Page through a binder labeled "End of Campaign Notes, No Peeking".)

"Your attack had no visible effect. Elsewhere in the room, an innocent prisoner dies, hanging limply from their chains. The countess looks bemused, as if she were expecting more from you."

"Your NPC follower advises you that, in their culture, it is generally considered rude to send dragons to 'diplomatically' greet princesses on their wedding day. Yes, even if the dragon is extra polite. No, the magically-induced aura of terror will probably not make them more receptive to your advances. Yes, it might help if the dragon were 'a little less undead', but that's hardly the problem here."

"Please don't actually crash the wedding."

"No, you can't elope with the bride. It isn't even your wedding!"

"You could, technically speaking, do that. If I were willing to spend a week rewriting this into a villain campaign."

"What was your roll? Okay, you failed the spot check. Jimmy, your turn."

"Yes, you can roll for seduction. But if you make the check, I'm locking you in the guest room with a copy of 50 Shades of Grey for the next three hours, because there's no way in hell I'm RP'ing that."
FanOfMostEverything 13th Apr 2019, 9:44 AM edit delete reply
"Please don't actually crash the wedding."

I find myself hoping that the wedding is taking place on an airship.
kgy121 13th Apr 2019, 2:26 PM edit delete reply
Or a warship.
Balrighty 13th Apr 2019, 7:45 AM edit delete reply
Apparently, "not enough", if our DM trotting out the dungeon's entire first floor's worth of frost giants and remorrazes is any indication. It took a high-level drow mage using Disintegrate on our Temple of the Gods before we finally bamfed out of there.

So now our Dwarf Cleric is trying to buy a portable ballista to take back up there, while I'm looking for a spellcaster to Geas said Cleric so he WON'T shoot a Guiding Bolt at a passing guard and so trigger everything like last time.
Digo Dragon 13th Apr 2019, 8:27 AM edit delete reply
Digo Dragon
A GM can warn the PCs plenty of ways on bad idea. The problem is that PCs rarely listen to the warning signs and plow right into their own tpk.
Jennifer 13th Apr 2019, 10:08 PM edit delete reply
I've been running Gateway for fairly young kids at work. So far, they've had to be coaxed into climbing a ladder to escape a giant crocodile, and reminded NOT to stand right in front of a fire-breathing salamander.
ZhonLord 13th Apr 2019, 10:42 AM edit delete reply
"So just to be sure. You're going through the giant, imposing, ornate door... while your frontline tank is on the other side of the dungeon with your hostage....Alright then..."
Wulfraed 13th Apr 2019, 12:46 PM edit delete reply
GM: "Are you going to attack the dragon that just breathed on the party, or the one that is about to?"

PC: "The one that just breathed"

Rest of Party: <GROAN>

If I recall, the PC was a thief (with some assassin tendencies) and could have disabled the second dragon before it could use a breath weapon.
Winged Cat 13th Apr 2019, 10:46 PM edit delete reply
Winged Cat
"Your danger sense tingles like it has never tingled before."

"You are pretty sure that you can not kill that opponent in one hit, or even a hundred hits, while he can kill you effortlessly."

"You get a telepathic ping from your god, saying that his powers can not be seen opposing that foe just yet. So if you attack now, you do it without magic."

"Okay, so, remember that macguffin scanner you have that lets you see someone's general capability, which we used to justify being able to 'see' someone's level off their character sheet? As you know, this system has player characters going from levels 1 to 20, up to 30 for epic. Now, would anyone who has heard of Dragon Ball Z care to guess what the scanner says about his power level?"
Omen 13th Apr 2019, 11:34 PM edit delete reply
For me, I have a way of being able to tell my players if what they're about to do is gonna get them killed or is really stupid.

All I have to do is just pause for a moment for everyone to register what one player or all of the players are planning on doing. Then I just lean forward and in the most serious tone, I'll ask them, "... Are you SURE...?"

That tends to stop them. If they continue, they quickly learn that me saying that means "this is going to get you killed. I can't say it will for certain, but its a 99% chance and you void any right to be angry or upset if your character dies because of it."
Composer99 14th Apr 2019, 11:44 PM edit delete reply
As the disclaimer in the 5e PHB states:

'Wizards of the Coast is not responsible for the consequences of splitting up the party, sticking appendages in the mouth of a leering green devil face, accepting a dinner invitation from bugbears, storming the feast hall of a hill giant steading, angering a dragon of any variety, or saying yes when the DM asks, "As you really sure?"'
RandomRex6 13th Apr 2019, 6:17 AM edit delete reply
I took out a mob hit on my school spirit for the safety of the rest of the student body. Not my best financial decision, but it was the only way...
Digo 13th Apr 2019, 6:45 AM edit delete reply
I'm one of those rare people that didn't have a traumatic high school season. Like, I had to deal with a couple bullies and that one girl you want to ask out, but things worked out decently in the end. Mostly. XD
Borg 13th Apr 2019, 8:51 AM edit delete reply
I also had a fine high school experience.

In some ways it was even better than college.
Brigid 13th Apr 2019, 11:03 AM Skipped the whole mess edit delete reply
I was homeschooled, so I skipped that nightmare. Given what elementary was like, I'm pretty sure I'd have a serious case of PTSD. Or ended up in one of those padded rooms.

The closest thing to 'school spirit' I encountered was in college. Especially during football season. So we're supposed to be full of school pride and root for our team and aren't we cool and...

I actually got dragged to one of their games. I know next to nothing about football and even *I* could tell our team sucked. Pretty sure one player managed to throw the ball straight to someone on the *other side.* (facepalm)

Maybe if this 'school spirit/pride' thing wasn't so heavily tied up in sports it'd be less of a disaster.
Redwings1340 13th Apr 2019, 6:51 AM edit delete reply
School spirit is the worstttt thinggg. I always hated assemblies like this with a passion. My high school experience was actually pretty good, I just always have felt uncomfortable when in a setting where I'm pressured to be loud or part of chants, or something similar.
Jennifer 13th Apr 2019, 10:06 PM edit delete reply
I was always suspicious of pep rallies. My high school had a terrible team (one winning season in about 35 years) and I noticed that after a pep rally we tended to lose even worse than usual. Plus, of course, it seemed a waste when we could be studying - not that I wanted to, but I liked it more than sitting in the gym shouting for no apparent reason.
Hankroyd 13th Apr 2019, 8:16 AM edit delete reply
Thanks Celestia, we don't have 'school spirit' in France. My only contact with that kind of weird thing was in American TV shows.
It was weird when many years later, I realised that American TV shows was written based on real American school experience.
Guest 13th Apr 2019, 8:42 AM edit delete reply
So, why didn't they mention which Background and Subclasses they selected?

Those are kinda a big deal.
Newbiespud 13th Apr 2019, 8:38 PM edit delete reply
(Because I haven't completely finished building the character sheets yet. Shhh.)
Winged Cat 13th Apr 2019, 10:52 PM edit delete reply
Winged Cat
What skills are most often used for academics at this school? Or are there classes for literally every skill on the character sheet?
albedoequals1 14th Apr 2019, 12:54 AM edit delete reply
Sign me up for the stealth class.

"I haven't seen you in a single class session this semester."
"So I get an A, right?"
ANW 14th Apr 2019, 6:04 AM edit delete reply
"You didn't sign in even once. So no credit."
Guest 14th Apr 2019, 6:37 AM edit delete reply
The subclasses, at least, can probably be guessed.

Ocellus - Circle of the Moon (more focus on the shifting)
Gallus - Thief (the more skill-based Rogue)
Yona - Totem Warrior (Bear) (because toughness)
Silverstream - Tempest Domain (maybe nature, but her energetic attitude feels more Tempest to me)
Sandbar - Monk - Way of the Open Hand (the vanilla Monk, though Shadows would fit a character that describes themself as average)
Needling Haystacks 14th Apr 2019, 11:47 AM edit delete reply
My HS's PA used to randomly come on during the day and have someone going "Test one, test one two."
They'd usually repeat that again immediately. Seriously it happened randomly and at one point (I guess they had upgraded the system or something) happened at least once a week.
Kaze Koichi 15th Apr 2019, 12:58 AM edit delete reply
This is not what "immune to propaganda" means.