Page 1212 - Social Sacrifice

25th Apr 2019, 6:00 AM in School Raze
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Social Sacrifice
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Author Notes:

Newbiespud 25th Apr 2019, 6:00 AM edit delete
Oooh, 1212 get! And now replies in the comments section can properly nest more than 1 layer deep!

Huh? Oh, right, uh... Story Time about infiltrating the villain's ranks.

Notice: Guest comic submissions are open! Guidelines here. Deadline: January 27th, 2023.



Guest 25th Apr 2019, 6:14 AM edit delete reply
Well, it wasn't exactly infiltrating, but I do remember the time when my LE deva betrayed the adventuring party to help the troglodytes, then betrayed the troglydytes to help the other players, and back and forth until the Paladin decided to conk me on the head, run away to town, and bring me to trial. The DM had it roleplay it out with skill checks, but since I'm a lawyer IRL(to be fair, none of them knew that), despite the sworn testimony of a paladin of Moradin, the magistrate decided that he was going to lay a bounty on the troglydytes heads, and if we didn't complete it in 3 days, then the bounty would be on our heads instead. The adventure was only supposed to be a one-shot, so after yet more betrayals, the DM decided to send in the Deus Ex Machina and call it a day.
CrowMagnon 25th Apr 2019, 6:31 AM edit delete reply
My Hell's Rebels character was designed as an undercover cop, so while I haven't done much infiltration per se, I have used her knack for deception to manipulate antagonists. For example:

Pretended to be corrupt cops along with another party member to distract a group of brownshirts while the sneaky one of our party rescued a tiefling girl they were going to torture to death.

Made a captured serial killer think that we were a group of similar killers in order to cajole information out of him before turning him over to the law.

After the sneaky one scouted an enemy fort and ended up assassinating the fort's commander in his sleep, I got the others inside the walls by claiming to be leading a posse on the trail of the "rebel assassin". Thanks to some truly heroic Bluff rolls, it worked.
Digo Dragon 25th Apr 2019, 7:15 AM edit delete reply
Digo Dragon
The only time I can recall of a rank infiltration was done by me when I sold myself into slavery in order to get inside a slave ring and expose the ringleaders. Basically I (the catfolk cleric) worked with the half-elf bard to pose as someone selling me off to pay some rent debts. The slavers bought me for about 250 gold (to which the party sorcerer later complained it was too little). So in chains I went on a very boring two day trip by boat down the river with some other slaves. All the while I was praying to my god, Fharlanghn, to lead the rest of my party following from the shore line. They weren't the brightest bulbs and halfway on this trip they actually got lost trying to follow a river. Seriously.

Once inside the slaver's fortress, I used some spells to message the party that I'd let them sneak at night once I got a good study of the slave pen layout so we could do some rescuing. For most of the first day I pretended to be just a typical commoner, keeping my head down and being an obedient little slave so that the slavers wouldn't pay much attention to me.

Clerics are rarely good sneaks, but I had two things going my way when I tried to open a back door for the party to get inside: 1) I'm a catfolk and had good dexterity, and 2) I didn't have my usual heavy armor and weapons so no noisy gear weighing me down.

I unlocked the door to the fort's stables for the party to sneak in. Instead the party took the horses and charged in on horseback. They attacked everyone and everything not in chains; slavers, buyers, guards, guard dogs, cats, chests suspected of being mimics (12 chests destroyed and looted, 0 mimics found). The party then proceeded to set everything on fire. Seriously, Everything.

The ensuing destruction claimed the lives of the entire slave ring and about 20% of the slaves who were not fast enough to flee the blaze. Sigh...

For most of that action I was helping slaves escape, using wits and improvised weapons since I had none of my gear (the party left that back at camp, including my holy symbol, so I couldn't even access some of my spells). By morning we were done looting the place and began leading the slaves that didn't run from us towards the nearest town.

That leads into the story on how the bard accidentally stabbed the mayor and got me locked in a bath house with a vampire...
Gamemaster80 25th Apr 2019, 7:33 AM edit delete reply
"That leads into the story on how the bard accidentally stabbed the mayor and got me locked in a bath house with a vampire..."

*slides closer* Go ooon..."
Balrighty 25th Apr 2019, 8:59 AM edit delete reply
I'm just going to test this whole "more than 1 layer nesting" thing.
Balrighty 25th Apr 2019, 9:00 AM edit delete reply
Hurray! It works!
Winged Cat 25th Apr 2019, 10:29 AM edit delete reply
Winged Cat
5 layers deep, was it?
ANW 25th Apr 2019, 6:14 PM edit delete reply
Can we go 6?
Evilbob 26th Apr 2019, 6:49 AM edit delete reply
How deep, really, does the rabbit hole go?

EDIT: Whelp. Looks like 6 is max.
Newbiespud 26th Apr 2019, 10:01 AM edit delete reply
At the moment it's 5 replies deep, not counting the base comment. Though I could probably do more if it wouldn't look ugly.
CCC 26th Apr 2019, 2:17 AM edit delete reply
It's not just here. Go back and look at the archives - the comments are now nested there, too.
Summoned Singer 25th Apr 2019, 9:09 AM edit delete reply
Summoned Singer
Gonna check here that comment nesting works properly and all
Winged Cat 25th Apr 2019, 10:29 AM edit delete reply
Winged Cat
But of course we do.
Digo Dragon 25th Apr 2019, 11:05 AM edit delete reply
Digo Dragon
LOL, I am enchanted that my post is the test subject for comment nesting. ^__^; So, time for part II! How the bard accidentally stabbed the mayor and got me locked in a bath house with a vampire...

Our party successfully navigated a large group of freed slaves to a port town (whose name I forgot). The constables were happy that we defeated the slavers, but not happy that we brought them this mob of unwashed masses for the town to sort out. So we were thanked. And cursed. Okay, fair enough. We took some downtime to sort through our loot and plan the next moves on our quest.

Our main quest involved chasing down a vampire catfolk named Elena. She had been turning the chiefs of several catfolk tribes into her thralls with the intentions of raising a large army to lay siege to the capital city while the throne remained without heir.

See, the king of this kingdom died a few weeks back when he tried to smuggle molasses into the capital city (it was heavily taxed due to a trade argument with the neighboring nation). Because why pay your own taxes if you make the rules? So what happened was that the king (in disguise) raced his carriage in the middle of the night into the city. The carriage threw a wheel when it hit a large rock and the king fell out of the carriage into a ditch, covered in molasses that spilled from one of the barrels. The city guard saw the molasses-covered monarch, but mistaken him for an assassin trying to kill the king (seeing the king's carriage and assuming the king was inside). So the guards set the king on fire with torches and tried spear him. The king ran from his guards, on fire, shouting "I am the king! I am the king!" towards the castle moat with the intention of jumping in to extinguish the flames on himself. The royal wizard saw this screaming, flaming creature running toward the moat and did what any sensible royal wizard would do--assume it was a fire elemental and summoned an earth elemental to put the fire out. So this large elemental made of dirt pops up, grabs the flaming king, and slams him into the ground several times. The fire is out. The king is dead from massive blunt trauma, and the wizard goes back to bed.

I've never accused this GM of being uncreative with his plot hooks.

Anyway, so in this small port town my catfolk cleric went to enjoy some bathing in the bath house, while the ranger and the warlock were gathering intel on the possible whereabouts of Elena. This left the bard and sorcerer without supervision.

Never leave the bard and sorcerer without supervision!

They decided to see the mayor because not being rewarded for saving a bunch of commoners from slavery should be a crime in their mind. The two knuckleheads use invisibility spells to get past the guards and staff, popping in on the mayor unexpected. They start the conversation by explaining to the mayor they're not here to assassinate him (because invisible adventurers are not suspicious in their minds). They only now realize someone else is in the mayor's office--Elena. She was here attempting to use her domination gaze on the mayor. The two murderhobo PCs draw weapons and demand Elena explain herself like a Bond villain so they can kill her and get double-rewarded by the mayor. Elena scoffs at them with the intent to leave. The sorcerer commands Elena not to go anywhere because once my cleric is done at the bath house, she'll be over to destroy me with "religion and faith stuff".

The bard throws a dagger at Elena, but the vampire turns into mist. The dagger flies through her and hits the mayor in the chest. Elena flies out the window in mist form. This is when the guards come in to check on the shouting...

...meanwhile, as I was enjoying a steam bath in a large public tub. The other people here all get up and walk out of the room suddenly, like zombies. Well that's not suspicious. The water temp then drops like 10 degrees and all the candles go out. Elena walks out of the shadows, fangs ready to bite. With a snap of her fingers the door in closes itself and locks. Elena takes a few steps into the large public bath I was in. In a panic I bless the bath water. This makes Elena's feet sizzle and she leaps out of the tub. She snarls at me, threatening to kill me because I'm a hindrance to her plan (see, she had beef with my mother, and because vampires don't age, you always seem to inherent your parent's enemy-vampire-baggage after a few years).

All I have to defend myself is my back scrub brush and I wield it with all the authority of a naked cleric caught in a bathtub. She scratches my face, giving me a temporary negative level. I swing the back brush and crack it against her head with an unconfirmed crit. She scratches me again, but I resist the negative level this time. With few options, I decided to belly flop into the water. Elena was very much in the splash zone, taking a bunch of damage from holy water. Smoldering, she zaps me with a lightning bolt like a boss. Since I'm in the water, I pretty much fry. but since i'm in the water, she can't really jump in to grab me. She flees the scene as the ranger and warlock show up from overhearing the lightning bolt strike from outside.

I get rescued from the tub by the party ranger before drowning (floating on -3 hit points and a negative level that needs removal). Yeah I was a hurtin' kitten at that point.
Gamemaster80 26th Apr 2019, 4:29 AM edit delete reply
Dude, where was your group when I needed a great, fun game? That is just all levels of awesome.
Digo Dragon 26th Apr 2019, 5:41 AM edit delete reply
Digo Dragon
This was many years back with my original group. The "one true group" I'd joke about because I've never had another group as crazy and fun s they were. Yeah, most of 'em were murderhobos, but they were still FUN murderhobos.
Jennifer 26th Apr 2019, 9:13 AM edit delete reply
Hilarious. I want to know how the city managed to replace the king, now.
Gamemaster80 26th Apr 2019, 10:19 AM edit delete reply
Or if all parties involved were punished for the death of the king.
Pablo360 25th Apr 2019, 7:40 AM edit delete reply
We once infiltrated a cult by actually joining it. Then repeated that twice. The third time neither us nor the cultists got incinerated in a fireball when the s hit the fan! (It was a volcano instead.)
GrayGriffin 25th Apr 2019, 8:03 AM edit delete reply
One guy in our group tried to pose as the contact for the bad guys he'd been shadowing. He failed because he mistook one person's verbal tic for the name of their contact, and then because the rest of the group, which was made up of impulsive teens, came running out to back him up and completely blew his cover. It's fine, we beat their butts so hard in a Pokemon battle.
Enigmatic Jack 25th Apr 2019, 9:45 AM edit delete reply
Inversion of that... I was an agent of Asmodeus, infiltrated the party as they sought ancient swords of power. Had come up with the idea talking to the DM, so none of the other players knew that I was admitting other than I claimed to be until after the campaign ended. My character was CN so he never pinged on Detect Evil, and I was honestly more helpful to the party than one of the "good" players. The group broke up before the game was completely finished, but at that point I had all but convinced the party leader that the safest place to store the swords was a pocket dimension that no one without permission could enter (leaving out that Asmodeus was the one who created the dimension.)
Winged Cat 25th Apr 2019, 10:41 AM edit delete reply
Winged Cat
This is part of the story of the Pokemon campaign I am currently running.

A militaristic group, Team Jaeger, has taken over the local region. Pokemon being one form of power, and training being a traditionally respected form, one way to join the team and go up in ranks is to get badges. However, they have made it all but impossible for a new trainer to get their second badge; many prospective trainers die in the attempt, and almost all the rest give up.

The player characters are the first to make it to badge number two...and then three, then four, and so on since the team did not add in redundant security (leaving most of the region clueless about this sabotage, even). The party came back around to this sabotage after they had almost all the badges, and attacked it from behind (having taken the long way around the region, picking up the rest of the badges on the way, to get there).

They are now officially agents of the team, moving up the ranks - even if they do not wish to be, the team recognizes their authority - and have allied with most of the rebels, both inside and outside the team. After picking up the rest (and finishing another plot chain I've been laying out during the adventure), they will be on to the end game.

One part deep cover, one part revolution.
Akouma 25th Apr 2019, 11:50 AM edit delete reply
Iron Kingdoms game, the party was going behind enemy lines into Khador (think steampunk Russia). Amusing highlights include us sneaking through a blockade as merchants.

Guard: "Yor manifest says peekled goods. Vat is peekled?"
Me: "Uuuuuuh, pickles?"
GM: "You know they can pickle more than just cucumbers, right?"
Me: "Well yeah, I just don't think about it much because I live in [current year] and not 18-f-76."

Then later, meeting our contact. We ask what he wants for his information, and he asks for "A dog. But dog with having good quality of dog." So the session devolved into adventures in dog husbandry and finding a quality breeder we could afford.
Happy Balor 25th Apr 2019, 11:53 AM edit delete reply
Infiltration? I've got a good one. It was a military-style 3.5 campaign, and we were an elite band of hihg-level mercernaries hired by a morally grey nation to help them fend off a straight-up-mustache-twirling evil nation. We had been ordered to soften up a particularly well fortified castle before an assault, so my character, a Necromancer wizard, proposes this: use magic to hide the others, get the enemy to let them in (any Necromancer powerful enough to show up riding on a skeleton hydra is clearly going to be a good asset), take control of any undead inside the fortress and then summon/animate more minions to take the walls, while the rest of the party focuses on killing any necromancers that aren't me. I talk my way in smooth as silk, and just as I'm getting cozy with the other necro-commanders, my party drops their disguises and starts geeking mages while I do my bit. When our employers come the next morning, we open the gates for them and... "negotiate" a bonus for doing such a good job.
Malroth 25th Apr 2019, 1:23 PM edit delete reply
My current character is an Awakened Housecat Telepath. Our first adventure involved me infiltrating the Mafia Don's lair solo Charming him with both cute meows and psychic powers and then just brodcasting all his meetings to the party.
CrowMagnon 25th Apr 2019, 2:47 PM edit delete reply
Isn't that what ALL cats do?
Malroth 25th Apr 2019, 8:35 PM edit delete reply
As well as nap and clean themselves in combat and betray everybody for whoever has fish... Yes.
Wyvern 25th Apr 2019, 1:52 PM edit delete reply
Not infiltrating the villains as such - more like infiltrating the heroes.

The campaign was set in the Age of Sail, with a bunch of pirates and other types sailing around the Caribbean. My PC was Johnny, a plucky young lad with an affinity for the sea. Those who knew him - or just didn't get away fast enough - would certainly hear about his family back in a fishing village in the Massachusetts Colony, which he brought up unusually often.

People sailed with him an unusually long time before anyone wondered why he'd write letters home by scratching them onto copper cladding plates and then dropping them over the side when the ship was at sea. Nobody ever asked him the name of his home village, which was Innsmouth.
The Froggy Ninja 25th Apr 2019, 4:08 PM edit delete reply
My group's main campaign setting is a kind of cracky RPG mechanicsverse where Good and Evil unionized to keep high level characters from running roughshod over everything. At one point a party member decided to infiltrate the minion force of our nemesis character, and had to fill out all the paperwork for a side change, including a box labeled "Is this part of an elaborate ruse to gather information on/sabotage the operations of evil? Y/N"
He of course answered honestly and went through the proper channels. It was very successful, though that's a less amusing story than the setup.
keybounce 26th Apr 2019, 8:33 PM edit delete reply
On the issue of Infiltration:

A new PonyFinder campaign starting this weekend. I'm running a changeling infiltrator, that everyone else thinks is just a pegasus pony with some skill at crashing. (only 1 level in flight, and a performance skill of crashing. Eventually he'll become a stunt flier, but for now this is an attempt to fit in without standing out.