Page 1240 - Inmate Asylum

29th Jun 2019, 6:00 AM in School Raze
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Inmate Asylum
Average Rating: 5 (1 votes)
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Author Notes:

Newbiespud 29th Jun 2019, 6:00 AM edit delete
Just as a reminder, I put up this week's Spudventure on Tuesday and I'm hoping to continue getting the podcasts/videos published on that schedule from here on out.

Notice: Guest comic submissions are open! Guidelines here. Deadline: February 20th.



ANW 29th Jun 2019, 7:34 AM edit delete reply
Story time

Paper thin disguise lies and acting that actually fooled the target
Bed Head 29th Jun 2019, 8:45 AM edit delete reply
I played a rogue once (charlatan background) who was pretending to be a famous dragon slayer. What was surprising was how many people I could get to buy it despite fighting like a dirt bag and never wearing heavy armor. Namely the most lawful members of my own party (The paladin and monk).

In terms of NPC's there was:

A Frost Giant leader (convinced him to help us instead of fighting us)

Several actual dragons (determined to murder me as revenge for my reputation)

And an alliance of several very powerful people working out of the biggest city in the area (at least until the *real* dragon slayer showed up)
Freelance 29th Jun 2019, 12:34 PM edit delete reply
*Sings* You wear a disguise to fool those human guys, but you're not a man, you're a Grizzly Boo.
Winged Cat 29th Jun 2019, 1:01 PM edit delete reply
Winged Cat
"You've taken the rest of my crew hostage when we were all off the ship exploring a ruin, and you want our ship? Sure, I'll lead you right to it. I won't say anything about the path to the entrance ramp being right in the arc of the ship's main guns, or the ship having an AI with a clue. The first thing I'll say is 'now!' as I suddenly dive for cover."

Not that my ship captain PC actually said all that, but you get the picture.
hankroyd 29th Jun 2019, 3:20 PM edit delete reply
One character I played was ... weird ...

See in the '90, there was this punk guy, drinking beer all day long, speaking non-sense and always walking with a chicken on a leash and I played that character weirly.
Instead of saying 'I attack' or 'I search the room', I said 'he attacks' or 'he search the room' ... and sometimes, the GM decided I won't do what I said but I'll do whatever he decides.

Everyone though I got some stupid weird drawback for doing a minmaxed character, but no ... the punk was average at best.

Then one day, the punk died, and there was much rejoicing in the party, because they though I'll do another character but then this exchange happened.

Me - He is dead? Definitively? No resurrect?
GM - Yup, what do you do?
Me - Oh crap. I jump by the window and check on the street to find someone else.
* Rest of the party stares, not sure what we were talking about *
GM - You see a little Granny walking in an empty street.
Me - Granny ... sigh ... fine ... I'll take that. I subdue her.
GM - The chicken jumped by the window and apparently is launching a psychic attack to a lone granny who after a round cease screaming and grip the leash. After a few moment she and the chicken join you.
The party - Wait, for the whole campaign ... YOU WERE PLAYING THE CHIKCEN???
Space Jawa 29th Jun 2019, 3:33 PM edit delete reply
Fallout is Dragons.

Dr. Javolt and Tempered Steel.

"Cupcake Delivery."
LucaUmbriel 29th Jun 2019, 8:03 PM edit delete reply
"dungeon inspector"

And that is why you give your NPCs ranks in Sense Motive.
Malroth 29th Jun 2019, 11:56 PM edit delete reply
Skeleton cleric infiltrated a base by stuffing himself in a barrell and sticking a sword through his ribs and just mailing the barrell to the supply depot.
Guest 1st Jul 2019, 7:05 AM edit delete reply
Skeletons are the best at shenanigans.
Talyn 30th Jun 2019, 8:00 AM edit delete reply
Hacked blast doors open, retract entirely into the walls.
Party standing in the open in front of two armored and armed guards with rifles. Not wearing uniforms or armor or anything that comes close to matching the enemy faction's gear.
Bluff (32)
Guards: *ohshit, snap to position of attention, rifles across chest*
CrowMagnon 30th Jun 2019, 4:22 PM edit delete reply
My Hell's Rebels character was raised by a con artist and spent some years working as an undercover cop, so she's pretty good at spinning a yarn.

Highlights include pretending that the party are a gang of serial killers in order to finesse information out of a murderer we'd just captured, and tricking half a garrison to leave their keep by pretending to be a posse chasing a rebel assassin (who was actually the sneaky one of our group, after she'd already infiltrated the place and killed the commanding officer in his sleep).
Prata 29th Jun 2019, 8:01 AM edit delete reply
Not my story but I once read a post of a guy who's character was a bear, literally. It didn't speak human but apparently he got such high charisma and disguise (he was a spy aparently) that by the end the entire court though he was a person and anyone with high enough insight to see the truth were kicked out. He eventually got knighted and hired a butler to translate for him.
Matiekay_13 29th Jun 2019, 8:23 AM Sir Bearington edit delete reply
Ah, yes, the hilarious tale of Sir Bearington :D
Kedamono 29th Jun 2019, 10:13 AM edit delete reply
Someone went so far as to create a 4e class of Grizzly Bear.
Archeo Lumiere 29th Jun 2019, 8:42 PM edit delete reply
Yo, your link is borking up the whole page on mobile...
Jennifer 29th Jun 2019, 2:03 PM edit delete reply
There is a fun little game called Honey Heist where all the players are bears trying to infiltrate a honey convention. As long as they wear disguises (particularly hats), human NPCs won't notice them.
Guest 29th Jun 2019, 2:32 PM Jehan Criec edit delete reply
The Level 7 Catfolk Rogue in the Pathfinder Campaign I'm running managed to sneak up on the CR14 Contract Devil without him noticing, and managed to cast Arcane Mark on him without him realising anything except that he'd had a spell cast on him. When He demanded to know what they'd done, the Catfolk informed him that she'd made him her's now, (It literally marks things with her signature) and informed him that they wouldn't release him unless he sent them back to their home plane and never bothered them again. He flubbed his sense motive.
Guest 29th Jun 2019, 2:34 PM Jehan Criec edit delete reply
As I realise I totally misread the prompt. So enjoy this story of a paper thin lie that actually worked.
Plan 29th Jun 2019, 7:59 PM edit delete reply
Not sure if it could work but I suddenly had a plan... GM say that Monologuing decrease perception checks, with that, maybe take the Medallion from Neighsay in the trash can, re-route the magic to the PA system and while Cozy was telling her plan, it could had worked...
Kaze Koichi 30th Jun 2019, 1:55 AM edit delete reply
Not sure if my story fits, but I'll tell anyway. Our quest giver was gathering us in a bar, and DM described my arrival as "a skinny man in typical rogue outfit with twin daggers on his belt entered the bar." As my character arrived the last and everyone else were already sitting at the same table, the dwarf yelled: "Hey, thief! Come here!"
"Are you talking to me?" I asked. "I'm not a thief."
"Thief, rogue, who cares, they are the same."
"No, you misunderstood," I insisted. "I'm not a thief. I am a fighter. A kind of fighter that fights with daggers, but a fighter non the less."
Everyone laughed at this, and the dwarf decided a good joke would be to continuously ask me to pickpocket some money, or open door, or search for traps, and I always answered: "I can't do this. I am a fighter." This was going on until our first major battle. Here is a kicker: I wasn't a rogue. I was a wizard. The reason I went with it because DM in campaign introduction said that in this region magic is rare and the populace is afraid of it. So after burning handing some tough foes and seeing the party's look I said: "I told you, I'm a fighter. I know an ancient fighter technique. I hit them so hard, they catch fire."
Our party decided to roll with it, and it became a running gag that our bard would introduce me as "our fighter, and most definitely not a thief." Funny thing, the bard had high bluff, so quite a few NPCs actually believed that claim. I mean, claim that I was a fighter, not that I was a thief. She specifically said I was not a thief, and she looked so trustworthy charismatic person, why would you not believe her?
And if someone would catch me doing magic, the bard would sing "A song about a fighter that hits enemies so hard they burn." We had an idea to add my "epic achievements" to it as we go, but sadly, the campaign didn't last so long for the song to grow into an epic ballad (also no one of us in RL could rhyme.)
Digo 1st Jul 2019, 7:58 AM edit delete reply
Doc: *wanders into a nest of sleeping raiders in a dark room*
Raider Leader: (yawn) "Jeb, whatcha doing up?"
Doc: (gravely voice) "Uh, sorry, boss. Couldn't sleep."
Raider Leader: "Why is your voice sounding funny?"
Doc: "I just need a drink of water, boss."
Raider Leader: (goes back to sleep) "Fine. Just don't wake me up again."
Doc: "Sure thing boss. Thank you."

Doc might have gotten away with it, but it was when he said 'thank you' that gave it away. Raiders apparently never say Thank You. XD