Page 1264 - Zero to Psycho

24th Aug 2019, 6:00 AM in School Raze
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Zero to Psycho
Average Rating: 3 (1 votes)
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Author Notes:

Newbiespud 24th Aug 2019, 6:00 AM edit delete
It's the same gag as the show, but upgraded to a psychotic threat of physical harm that wouldn't be out of place at a gaming table! Whee! Isn't screencap comicking fun?

On the other hand, it's a fantastic gag, so why radically alter it? What, Smolder, did you find it so natural that you forgot you were wearing it? Did it not disappear because the Tree of Harmony thought you looked so good in it that it might as well make it real and let you keep it as a gift?

Notice: Guest comic submissions are open! Guidelines here. Deadline: January 27th, 2023.



Specter 24th Aug 2019, 6:23 AM edit delete reply
I'd be thankful for such a be-a-utiful dress. Free make up application and a large (probably expensive or fake) tiara as well? What's not to love.

That, or I would torch everything that reminds me of such a haunting memory (maybe even those who know my dark secret).
Digo Dragon 24th Aug 2019, 8:40 AM edit delete reply
Digo Dragon
Kicking the BBEG's butt in that dress is worth at least a +3 to epic story that comes from it.
Destrustor 27th Aug 2019, 3:47 AM edit delete reply
My always-crossdressing Kitsune rogue would definitely agree with that.
aylatrigger 27th Aug 2019, 5:29 AM edit delete reply
Free noble's clothes and jewelry. Worth a good bit for non-magical stuff...and if it is instead some solid illusion, still worth a good bit. ...Just sell it before it dissipates.
Needling Haystacks 30th Aug 2019, 5:59 PM edit delete reply
"So how much can I sell the dress for in town?"
ANW 24th Aug 2019, 6:43 AM edit delete reply
Stories that end with someone saying something along the line of
"I knew this was a bad idea, so why did I go along with it?"
BackSet 24th Aug 2019, 6:50 AM edit delete reply
Did you mean: Every game of D&D ever played at any gaming table ever
Dakkath 24th Aug 2019, 7:58 AM edit delete reply
"Because it *worked*, didn't it?"
Smithers 25th Aug 2019, 7:14 AM edit delete reply
Maxim 43: If it's stupid and it works, it's still stupid and you're lucky.
Akouma 24th Aug 2019, 8:16 AM edit delete reply
Fairly recent example from a 5e game I'm in. So, we've been asked by the local lord of a city to stake out a ship the authorities are sure is smuggling goods. We go to the docks after hours to find the ship unloading cargo. Our party splits into two groups. The first is everyone with a decent stealth score to go sneak into the harbormaster's office and find their manifest, and then myself (Aetherborn Paladin), our Dragonborn Cleric, and our Dwarf Monk.

So, the three of our characters are all IDIOTS. My paladin is an energy being who just manisfted on this plane less than a month ago, and so frequently doesn't recognize an obvious bad idea. The monk just kind of goes with the flow of other people's plans and has a -2 Charisma modifier so any operation that requires talking is bad for him. And then the cleric has an obsession with enacting justice. (He is basically EXACTLY what you should picture when someone says "Lawful Stupid.") The cleric decides that some subterfuge is in order. Instead of just observing from a distance like we've been told, he takes me along with him goes RIGHT UP to the ship. Tells the captain that this strange being (me, google "aetherborn" if you're not familiar with race) he travels with han never seen a ship or even the ocean before and that they're curious about it. Not technically a lie, actually. So we miraculously pass our checks to pass that off, then SOMEHOW convince the captain to let us help offload in exchange for some coin. This is great, we figure. We can get a look at the cargo and get some bonus free money! This has turned put better than it has ANY right to! Then, the cleric rolls his first check to unload the first box he grabs...

Nat 1.

He was unloading a box of fire gems.

Suddenly, everything is on fire, the VERY high-level captain and his entire crew is attacking us, and half the party is still at the harbormaster's office. Went from a miracle run of luck to a disaster that was somehow even WORSE than the initial idea would suggest.
Bed Head 24th Aug 2019, 11:42 AM edit delete reply
Well, I didn't ask why I went along with it afterward but I *did* know it was a bad idea...

So our party is protecting a town that's just fallen under attack by a red dragon. The big guy has been blasting buildings left and right and just demolished a church before we managed to lure it back to the bridge leading out of town.

My character, the party paladin, leads the fight as the dragon comes over to roast us. My Smite Evil ability takes off a good chunk of the dragon's health. Good enough that the big guy decides he's done enough damage and flies away.

Now I, both in and out of character, am not about to let a dragon that just murdered a whole bunch of innocent people get away, but I don't have any options to chase or attack it with. My smite is still active (it was Pathfinder, so the smite sticks to the target until they die or I dismiss it) but I don't have a ranged weapon, and even if I did the dragon is so far away I'd probably miss.

That's when the party's main spellcaster, a witch, steps up and asks me if I'd like to do something *really* stupid.

My response? "Will it get me close enough to hit that dragon?"

They said yes, so I took them up on their offer. I probably should have expected it wasn't a good idea given that the witch's previous plans which he'd regarded as "brilliant" tended to involve things like recruiting former minions of our enemies and making deals with devils.

This plan involved him casting Dimension Door, teleporting both of us into the air above the dragon (It was about 120 feet up by this point, putting us around 130). Great for the witch, he had a flight hex so he was fine. Slightly less okay for me, I had no flight magic. Just a longsword and a dragon right beneath me begging to be smote.

To this day I'm convinced the dragon never knew what hit it. A combination of DM caveat (having the dragon take some of my falling damage for me) and my smite meant that dragon was very dead. The bridge also wound up destroyed because the dragon landed on it, but I miraculously survived the fall and getting washed down the river.

Much as I'd like this story to have a happy ending, I managed to climb out of the river right at a spot where some of the dragon's stone giant allies were capturing townsfolk to take as slaves. My paladin was at single-digit hit point after all that, but he was never the kind to ignore folks in need. Managed to keep the giants busy long enough the rest of the party showed up to save the townsfolk, even if I wound up back in that river in two separate pieces.

So yeah, knew listening to the witch was probably a bad idea, but I guess I never asked why I went along with it.

terrycloth 24th Aug 2019, 9:13 PM edit delete reply
Ha ha ha, I remember that fight.

Our bard used a 'masterpiece' to summon a hurricane that kept the dragon from flying, and we were able to pick it apart on the ground. probably resulted in less damage to the town than letting the dragon continue blowing stuff up would have. Probably.
Guest_54 25th Aug 2019, 12:54 PM edit delete reply
Haha, still - what a way to end a character: dropping onto and landing sword-first onto a dragon, embedding it into the ground, then going out a martyr against slaver giants is pretty badass.

Did your party attempt any sort of resurrection (true, necromantic, etc.) or did you just roll up a new character / finish the campaign there?
ChosenChaos 25th Aug 2019, 2:06 AM edit delete reply
"Because it sounded like it would be *hilarious*, that's why."
FanOfMostEverything 24th Aug 2019, 8:00 AM edit delete reply
I suppose the Tree's sense of aesthetics evolved along with its awareness. That or it pulled the design's from Smolder's mind.

All I'm saying is that the consciousness that created the giant spiky tree-castle doesn't quite line up with that dress.
Classic Steve 24th Aug 2019, 11:15 AM edit delete reply
You know, I've heard of people shipping Gallus and Smolder, but it hadn't occurred to me that this moment might have advanced the interest.
Story Time 24th Aug 2019, 5:42 PM edit delete reply
POOF! Your character get out of a embarrassing situation only to be found by another character... Any story like that or similar?
Blyndpwn 24th Aug 2019, 6:30 PM edit delete reply
For my money, I think the reason Gallus met Smolder in her tea party dress was a mix of: she felt comfortable enough in the dress that she forgot it didn't fit with her established persona, and the Tree knew that she needed the group's other Apex Predator to see her in it. The Tree's challenge for Smolder was all about her coming to terms with the idea that there were times when it was okay to act like a herbivore, and that people wouldn't think less of her for engaging in what she was raised to perceive as a show of utter weakness. Gallus catching her looking like a princess and not making too big a deal of it was (in my opinion) necessary to ensure the lesson stuck in her mind.
Robin Bobcat 25th Aug 2019, 4:10 PM edit delete reply
That is clearly a *Seafoam* dress, not *Teal*...
Wulfraed 26th Aug 2019, 6:44 AM edit delete reply
A late comment, but doesn't Smolder's pose in the 4th panel have a slight air of "my hero" (which, in that genre, would be followed immediately by Smolder hurling herself into Gallus' "arms")
World Weaver 21st Sep 2019, 2:43 PM edit delete reply
it wasn't until this episode that I learned Smolder was a girl, I just thought she was a boy.