Page 1296 - Be Prepared

7th Nov 2019, 5:00 AM in Intermission 13
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Be Prepared
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Author Notes:

Newbiespud 7th Nov 2019, 5:00 AM edit delete
Author: dziadek1990

Guest Author's Note: "Yeah... something similar totally happened to me, as a DM, about a decade ago.
The Sunless Citadel module, I think. I ended up declaring that It Was All A Dream and let the players keep the XP they earned during that game.
Story Time! Tell us about the time your DM was comically unprepared."

Newbiespud's Note: After the last update, a few more of you lovely people contacted me about submitting more guest comics! I think I'll get the sabbatical I sorely need after all, and you all will get some interesting pages to read. Though I still might go through with the idea I had in mind… We'll see!

Notice: Guest comic submissions are open! Guidelines here. Deadline: February 20th.



Digo 7th Nov 2019, 5:35 AM edit delete reply
I don't remember if I mentioned the one GM I had that kept all his adventure notes on a napkin. I think the only way he could be less prepared is if he was eating a meatball sub during the game. :P
dziadek1990 7th Nov 2019, 9:18 AM edit delete reply
ME(A)TA Attack That Transcends Dimensions:

Every time DM's meatball sauce stains your character's figurine on the table, you get 2D6 spicy fire damage!
Digo 7th Nov 2019, 9:40 AM edit delete reply
Heh, haven't had food fall on my figurines yet. Had the occasional drink spill though. If it's soda, I declare it an acid splash spell. :3
ANW 7th Nov 2019, 6:15 AM edit delete reply
Who here has done this?

You did not read the module all the way, which results in a bad situation.
dziadek1990 7th Nov 2019, 9:16 AM edit delete reply
*raises hand*

*points upwards*
Pablo360 7th Nov 2019, 6:31 AM edit delete reply
One time my DM tried to run a high-level one-shot he'd written himself, but he spent a third of the session setting it up and even though he had all the monsters chosen ahead of time he hadn't bothered to copy their stats form the Monster Manual into a convenient place so the start of each fight was really slow. Plus, he hadn't figured out a good way to work in the main villain of the one-shot so he ended up being a random guard he had to come up with a name for on the fly.

Also, he was me, so
dziadek1990 7th Nov 2019, 9:14 AM edit delete reply
>each fight was really slow

Oy vey, I know something about that... @_@

The first game session I have lead had SEVEN players.

Now try to imagine just how slow a Newb DM + Seven Newb Players are. :p
Wulfraed 8th Nov 2019, 8:17 AM edit delete reply
Heh... be glad that wasn't a RuneQuest episode...

Attacker: roll to hit with weapon-X
Defender: roll to parry with weapon/shield-Y
A vs D
success:success parry weapon/shield takes damage
success:fail defender takes damage
fail:success attacker weapon takes damage
fail:fail no effect

If a weapon takes damage, reduce its points
succes:fail condition -> roll damage amount, roll damage location; defender subtract armor at location from damage, excess goes through to affect overall hit points, and location hit points

Oh, and if a fail condition is really bad, roll fumble effects.
dziadek1990 7th Nov 2019, 9:32 AM edit delete reply
>so he ended up being a random guard he had to come up with a name for on the fly.

Was the fight with him at least satisfying?
Pablo360 7th Nov 2019, 9:04 PM edit delete reply
It was comedically satisfying. He locked them in a warehouse with some iron golems as he made his escape, but one single well-placed attack from the fighter as he was fleeing made him take so much fall damage that, by the time the monk caught up with him, he basically died in 0 hits.
dziadek1990 8th Nov 2019, 9:10 AM edit delete reply
>in 0 hits

Like, he kept tripping over his own legs due to exhaustion as he ran, and doing minor damage to himself with every fall?
Gamer Geek 7th Nov 2019, 1:36 PM edit delete reply
I also ran The Sunless Citadel in the early 2000s. However, I did read it before I ran it. ;-) My players were so taken with Meepo the kobold that he actually joined the party and earned the nickname "Deadeye" because he was wicked good with his crossbow.
dziadek1990 7th Nov 2019, 1:41 PM edit delete reply
I forgot. What *was* Meepo's role in the module?

My vague memory only tells me that he was supposed to guide the players to... some king-like figure, so that king-dude would give them a quest...?
Gamer Geek 7th Nov 2019, 1:46 PM edit delete reply
He had a "pet" baby white dragon that he lost. The players were suppose to find the dragon and return it to Meepo. Which my players did.

After the module was over, though, I had a silver dragon, an NPC from my own home brew campaign that I inserted this module into, charge on of the PCs to steal the baby dragon back so he could return it to the wild.
Balrighty 9th Nov 2019, 6:34 AM edit delete reply
I ran the 5E remake of the Sunless Citadel and my players also had Meepo join the party. Though it was only after he died pathetically and became the Avatar of Failure. In a later adventure, one of our players had his dwarf cleric use a magic item to teleport to a giant encampment that we'd fled from before, just to see how trapped it was. Roughly fifty Glyphs of Warding later, he somehow rolled a Divine Intervention and got Meepo sitting on his shoulder for his poor life choices (but also Word of Recalled back, then we took an airship and went the long way).
Jennifer 8th Nov 2019, 7:36 AM edit delete reply
I'm always comically unprepared. But I run games for kids at the library; they don't mind or notice. My rules are so basic that I can start with an elevator pitch ("The Guard captain announces that he needs volunteers to fight monsters in the sewer") and just go at it.
dziadek1990 8th Nov 2019, 9:19 AM edit delete reply
At least you didn't make a goblin named Boblin, right?
Kittoradra 8th Nov 2019, 6:29 PM edit delete reply
I can only think of one instance... DM used an online resource to make us a quick dungeon to delve through for experience. Apparently, the scripts thought four specters and a mummy with levels of monk and high dex was suitable for a level 12 party... Improved Evasion was a thing it had, and... I just remember we were all hiding away from line-of-sight as much as we could. ... We stopped using online auto-generated stuff after that, and I never trusted any again