Page 144 - Jumping Tracks

5th Jul 2012, 6:00 AM in Dragonshy
<<First Latest>>
Jumping Tracks
Average Rating: 4.75 (4 votes)
<<First Latest>>

Author Notes:

Newbiespud 5th Jul 2012, 6:00 AM edit delete
Now would be a good time to share a story about spectacular failures in death-pit navigation.

In other news, I'm going to staying in Portland for several weeks starting today, which means I'll be in town for Northwest Bronyfest. I'd like to do something cool and Friendship is Dragons-related at the meetup, but I have zero ideas. Any thoughts?

Notice: Guest comic submissions are open! Guidelines here. Deadline: February 20th.



LoganAura 5th Jul 2012, 6:01 AM edit delete reply
*Is now gonna involve a death pit in his game. especially since one of his pegasi don't really fly too well >:D
Edit: BWAHAHAHAHA cain >:D
Zarhon 5th Jul 2012, 6:59 AM edit delete reply
For extra evils, fill it with poison joke at the bottom.
Stairc 5th Jul 2012, 10:06 AM edit delete reply

"I'd like to do something cool and Friendship is Dragons-related at the meetup, but I have zero ideas. Any thoughts?"

Let's run a real My Little Pony adventure for a lucky party at the Bronyfest. Also, we should just meet up and chat. It's what friends do. ;)

Peoplehave missed you at the D&D game too, you seattle-lubber.
kriss1989 5th Jul 2012, 7:47 AM edit delete reply
Um, you do know that I don't need to roll for basic flight right? Just flying in adverse conditions, in combat, or when performing tricky maneuvers.
LoganAura 5th Jul 2012, 7:51 AM edit delete reply
Now I do. Thanks for the ideas Kriss :D
Malkyn 5th Jul 2012, 9:29 AM edit delete reply
Oh, fun... *makes a note to put points in balance*
Malkyn 5th Jul 2012, 10:08 AM edit delete reply
Also, spikes can also do the trick. Fun times making this one group I was DMing for deal with them.

Basically, they were in a two-room dungeon. There were two sets of doors leading to the next room. The Warlord tries to stealth and peek into the next room, despite the other players yelling at him. His Perception check reveals a pit trap in the room just after the door he was opening. He gets spotted, so they slam the door shut and wait for people to come to them.

My players sat at my table for five minutes in silence as I just sat there with my arms crossed, grinning. They realized there was no way the people in there were leaving their room, so they came up with a new plan.

The goliath paladin(the party tank, basically) would go in through the door the warlord had been spotted at while the rest of the party would go through the other set of doors. He'd distract the enemies while the rest of the party swung around for a pincer.

Needless to say, he burst through the door and leaped over the pit trap, yelling challenges the whole way. He immediately takes a frost bolt to the chest, knocking him backwards onto the spike pit trap, whereupon the giant spider "double-tapped" with a nat 20, first webbing the paladin as the trap opened, then webbing the top so he would have a hard time getting out.

He had 24 strength, but he still spent at least half the battle getting out of that trap. Fun times. :P
Appkes 6th Jul 2012, 2:02 PM edit delete reply
Hey guys, wanted to ask you something.

I heard somewhere that "locate city" can be adapted into essentially a WMD.

Is this true?
Cain 5th Jul 2012, 6:02 AM edit delete reply
I've got nothing beyond chucking the dwarf, and that worked... I need to get a better Death Pit made. Though Davven did fall into a hidden hole in a pool of water to get out of a fight. Comes in swearing at the end of the fight (Ra was trying to DM that night)*edit* Damn, I was waiting to be first, damn you Logan
Ranubis 5th Jul 2012, 8:35 AM edit delete reply
Ha! I remember that story. First time I tried DMing for our group, and I had decided to do something to get my character out of the picture so I could focus on running the monsters.

Our group entered a muddy cave system, and saw some mud-covered lumps in the middle of what looked to be a shallow pool. I had decided that I would have my paladin go investigate and get sucked down into a sinkhole just before the monsters showed up. However, my plan got off to a rocky start...

Me: “Ok, I’m just going to head over and check this out, be right back.”
Minotaur: “Hold up!”
Me: “Hmm? What’s wrong?”
Minotaur: “You really want to send an armor-covered dwarf into a muddy pool? Please, there’s no way this can end well.”
Me: “Uh…”
Ranger: “Yeah, with all the metal you’re wearing, you’d get stuck in the mud in a heartbeat!”
Me: “Well, uh… Ok, I’m taking off the armor, and then going out to check on it.”
Minotaur: “Ok, that’s better, but what if you still get stuck? I know! Guys, get out our rope, we’ll tie the dwarf to me, and I can pull him back if he’s in trouble.”
Me: “But, but… fine.”

So, Davven heads out to ‘investigate’, and immediately ‘happens’ to walk right across a sinkhole. It took three separate checks to finally get away (if the knot held (it did), if the Minotaur could start pulling me back (he did), and finally a behind the screen ‘roll’ of the rope fraying against a piece of crystal), and even then he managed to pull back my gold pouch and hammer.

The group was all ready to jump in after me, but right at that moment I had the mud monsters of the cave show up to attack them. I’ll admit I pestered them a bit with side references to air bubbles rising from where Davven sunk and stopping halfway through the fight, but I like to think it was worth it after the last monster fell and the paladin ran sopping wet back in from the room behind, ready for battle and complaining about how they beat the bad guys before he could get in. At least he was gracious enough to pay the team back for the rope lost.
Cain 5th Jul 2012, 7:15 PM edit delete reply
And the minotaur is not often the sanest of the group. Though he tends to make Ra have to think very hard to figure a way out of the trouble: This, the Roasted unicorn, the other unicorn...
darkwulf23 5th Jul 2012, 6:03 AM edit delete reply
It doesn't matter as long as you follow the city's number one guideline. Keep Portland Weird.
TaraSwanwing 5th Jul 2012, 6:18 AM Cave Fishers and Pit Traps edit delete reply
One time my goblin bard and a hobgoblin alchemist were exploring this cave system infested by jinkins, and we fell into a pit trap quite easily. The hobgoblin then just looked at me, looked at the top, and threw me right up. Then, I realized I had left my rope up top.
So we're contemplating how to get the alchemist out off the sheer pit, when Poof! A cave fisher starts shooting its filaments at us. Goblin goes "I have a plan!" and tries to catch the next filament when it comes down. With his insane goblin reflex save, he catches it. Bardy then proceed to drop the unfastened end down to Hobby, who begins to climb. Every round it goes like this: Bard shoots at cave fisher, bard hits, cave fisher shoots again, misses, hobgoblin keeps climbing. Eventually I damaged the cave fisher's reputation enough that he ran away (no respectable cave fisher wants to be defeated by a goblin bard), just in time for the alchemist to reach the top.
Zarhon 5th Jul 2012, 6:58 AM edit delete reply
That's a epic win, if you ask me.
Zarhon 5th Jul 2012, 7:04 AM edit delete reply
@ Spud: You could cosplay/LARP as Rainbow Dash the barbarian.

Or make a giant cardboard d20 with ponies, and use it to host a game.

Or dress up as a bard and sing the Glib Limerick, and recount the tale of the Mane Six, bard style.

Or make a Bronyfest LARP, acting as DM, while the participants are PCs. "Roll perception to see if you can find any Pinkie Pie merchandise".
LoganAura 5th Jul 2012, 7:31 AM edit delete reply
^That last one. DO IT.
Zarhon 5th Jul 2012, 8:47 AM edit delete reply
Or make a rainbow-colored viking outfit and give it to the best Rainbow Dash Cosplayer you see.
Jason Shadow 5th Jul 2012, 11:53 AM edit delete reply
Jason Shadow
That... is seriously frightening.
Zuche 5th Jul 2012, 7:13 AM edit delete reply
Not exactly a perilous pit, but I was in a game where we'd just vacated a room filled with glowing, hairline cracks to attack the cultists running the place. It was looking pretty promising at this point. We were all a bit bruised, but the cleric would be able to sort that out at the start of his next turn.

Then, at the very end of the round, a warlock came into that room behind us and performed a teleport swap with our cleric, causing a small explosion at both ends. Okay, ouch, but we could still recover from this.

And then, at the start of the next round, the floor collapses where that warlock had just been standing, leaving our cleric hanging in mid-air twenty feet above lava.

I swear, the player's expression was a perfect likeness of the one Wile E. Coyote always had just before gravity caught up with him. The cleric died instantly. None of us lasted more than another round after that.
Zarhon 5th Jul 2012, 7:32 AM edit delete reply
Wow, thats rough. Was it from bad luck, or did the DM go into "Rocks fall, everyone dies" mode?
Zuche 5th Jul 2012, 8:14 AM edit delete reply
Lair Assault is intended to be uncompromising. It's easy enough with heavily optimized characters and decent team-work, but since replay is part of the program, some of us like to play it as a "danger room" scenario.

In a later season, we had a ranger sit confidently at the top of a fifty foot tower, safely taking potshots at the army swarming over his allies. It worked just fine until an orc-mounted pterodactyl finally scooped him up and dropped him sixty feet into a tar pit. That was a good season, once people got the hang of it.
Thousand Year Sunrise 5th Jul 2012, 7:27 AM edit delete reply
I have no ideas on what to do for Bronycon, except maybe get some bronies together to run a one-shot game. I wonder what the G1 villains would be like in a D&D setting.
Zarhon 5th Jul 2012, 7:34 AM edit delete reply
Prediction on comic: Fluttershy moves the cliffs closer together through diplomacy (Asking very politely), or cuteness.
LoganAura 5th Jul 2012, 7:37 AM edit delete reply
prediction on comic: Pinkie's player sings Gypsy Bard for whatever spell she uses.
kriss1989 5th Jul 2012, 7:48 AM edit delete reply
Prediction: Another "Scale. Map's. Need them." joke.
Bronymous 5th Jul 2012, 9:07 AM edit delete reply
prediction: they end up meeting a dragon at the top of the mountain
Ramsus 5th Jul 2012, 9:51 AM edit delete reply
prediction: stuff
Cain 6th Jul 2012, 11:33 AM edit delete reply
prediction: we will be commenting on the next comic and the one after that
Crimson Doom 7th Jul 2012, 5:32 AM edit delete reply
Crimson Doom
Prediction: there will be ponies in the next comic.
Raxon 5th Jul 2012, 7:50 AM edit delete reply
Tossing the dwarf is always the standard option, but I think I would prefer feigning fake ignorance at first.

DM: There are two ledges about fifteen feet apart, and beneath them is a ravine. It looks to be about a hundred fifty feet to the bottom.

Me: Oh crap! I've heard of these things! I draw my sword and back away, ready to fight.

DM: There's no danger, what are you doing?

Me: I shout, "I shall not cross this dread peril! I will die before I face this horror!" Do you still have that sealed envelope I gave you when I made the character?

DM: Yeah?

Me: Time to open it.

The DM opens the envelope, and inside is my character's name, along with "Character flaw: Acrophobia"

DM: Fear of heights?

Me: Yep.

DM: That would explain the increasing morale penalties to your climb skill you insisted on. Alright.

I understand that the envelope can be hard to use, especially since you can't just have the secret(In this case, acrophobia) be revealed after dealing with climbing a mountain the whole session. In addition, your DM probably either won't let you have a feat to balance out the flaw(If it's a flaw. The possibilities for this are huge.) or he may just decide that if you've never shown any signs of it, then it's not actually going to be part of your character.

When I make a character, I like to add little details that can be used for plot points later on.

That being said, I DO NOT approve of using this kind of thing for wrecking the game, jumping the rails without due reason, or just being a nuisance! That's just being a troll, and nobody likes that.

On topic, however, I have a concept for you. A pit with foot long, poisoned spikes at the bottom, filled up to six inches with acid. The spikes are on fire, and there are acid breathing leeches living in the acid. This is, obviously, not for low level characters, and the leeches aren't anything special, just something small, like dealing one hit point per hour per ten leeches.
Zarhon 5th Jul 2012, 8:49 AM edit delete reply
A pit that, when someone falls into it, has the ceiling above it open up, dropping a gelatinous cube into the pit.
Jason Shadow 5th Jul 2012, 11:56 AM edit delete reply
Jason Shadow
I should write that down.
Appkes 5th Jul 2012, 12:21 PM edit delete reply
Gelatinous Cube?

Pah, the party Mage got a BCHWPS on his head when he fell in a pittrap. To make it worse, there already was one in there.
Raxon 5th Jul 2012, 2:20 PM edit delete reply
Dead. Whale. A blue whale falls over the pit from above either crushing it, or covering it with a massive, rotting, corpse.

If they survive their reflex save(don't ask me how that would work) They still have to dig their way through a 200 ton stinking, festering corpse.

And you, as the DM, can have them worry about what might be living in that enormous carcass. Yes, I am a very bad, bad man.
kriss1989 5th Jul 2012, 4:59 PM edit delete reply
You know what, there are enough good pittraps in here that I will explain the water death pit zone.

Start with a room, fill it with about 2 feet of water. Tile it. Some of the tiles are thin and will break at 30+lbs, meaning you can't tap it out with a pole. Make a pit maze, each pit is 5x5 and 30ft deep. The water is enchanted so it doesn't go down the hole. Then, at the bottom of each pit, put a slime. Green slime, grey ooze, black puding, gelatinous cube, mix it up. Make it a room they have to get through. Now make it so that flying enemies are attacking them.

Water room pit maze of doom.
Zeeth 5th Jul 2012, 8:20 PM edit delete reply
DWARF: "Bah! Why are you always tossing the dwarf? We've got a gnome right here, and he's lighter than I am anyway!"
kriss1989 5th Jul 2012, 7:51 AM edit delete reply
I would go into detail about the water death pit zone I made once, but since my DM reads these I won't be doing that. It's actually more dangerous than it sounds.
deeman45 5th Jul 2012, 8:03 AM edit delete reply
I was GM'ing a game where the players were trapped in a haunted wood, and eventually found a huge, seemingly impassable ravine. There was an automatic bridge on the far side which could be lowered, which meant that only one player had to safely make it across.

There was a tall, sheer wall of stone at one end of the ravine; the players decided to have the character who could cling to walls traverse the wall and make it to the other side. Of course, they'd been ignoring the ghosts pelting them with magic the whole time, because the ghosts were rolling woefully low and didn't have any major damage-dealing potential.

However, a character who is preoccupied with something like that receives massive defensive reductions, and if the climber was hit he'd let go and go tumbling into the ravine. They anticipated this and safely tied a rope to the climber, anchored to a tree on the other side.

The first time he tried crossing, the ghosts attacked him and he fell, but was saved by the rope.

While he was dangling, defenseless, the party distracting the ghosts from attacking him further. They failed (highest roll out of the whole group was a 6) and the ghosts had a lot of fun picking on the defenseless guy hanging there.
Lyntermas 5th Jul 2012, 8:48 AM edit delete reply
Forgot to giggle at them, did they?
Woolytop 5th Jul 2012, 8:51 AM edit delete reply
I don't have a *failure* in death pit navigation, but a remarkable success. So there was a pit, about eighty feet wide, with bars across it every ten feet, So I decided I would take my rogue and jump across the bars.
Eight separate chances to fail. Did not miss once.
Umiyuri Papaeyra 5th Jul 2012, 8:59 AM edit delete reply
Umiyuri Papaeyra
I'm afraid the only story I could give on this would be video game-based.

And it's not really a story, it's me overshooting a double jump and falling down the other side of the sizeable target platform.

And it's not really a story, it's every single time I play a platformer for more than a minute.

Bronymous 5th Jul 2012, 9:11 AM edit delete reply
Super Smash Brothers- Pokemon stage- Playing as pikachu- every time.
Umiyuri Papaeyra 5th Jul 2012, 11:30 AM edit delete reply
Umiyuri Papaeyra
What am I doing playing platformers in the first place, I'm terrible.
Bronymous 5th Jul 2012, 9:13 AM edit delete reply
I know! They will stand upon each others shoulders and make bridge with their bodies!
Zuche 6th Jul 2012, 9:08 AM edit delete reply
"Note: This is a very dangerous stunt, and should only be performed by experienced idiots."

~ Announcer's warning from the Goon Show episode about Robin Hood, where the group took the body bridge plan to another level
Bronymous 6th Jul 2012, 9:20 AM edit delete reply
I was going more for Invader Zim, but that works too.
Ramsus 5th Jul 2012, 9:55 AM edit delete reply
Well I don't have any pit trap stories but, I do have a favorite type of pit trap that (as far as I know anyway) I invented myself.

I call it: Gelatinous Cube Pit Trap. It's very simple but, pretty scary. You need 1 Gelatinous Cube, 1 appropriately sized pit trap, and a dash of freshly fallen leaves or topping of your choice.
Stairc 5th Jul 2012, 10:05 AM edit delete reply
I love that trap. I used a variant of it in my most-infamous-dungeon-room-ever.

I didn't use a leaf covering though. Since cubes are transparent, it's even more delicious when they jump into it thinking it's empty and get stuck in the cube. =)
Ramsus 5th Jul 2012, 10:35 AM edit delete reply
Yeah, I figured the real devious version would be to leave it uncovered and put a (most likely deceased at this point) mimic at the bottom so they go "ooh treasure" land in the cube, and even if they kill it, they get rewarded with...mimic corpse.
Lyntermas 5th Jul 2012, 10:36 AM edit delete reply
Maybe it's that devious look on your avatar.
Maybe it's how Newbiespud talked to Bronymous about "the unshakeable DM".
Maybe it's how you got a level 30 party scared of a level 5 shopkeeper.
Maybe it's how you used the word "delicious" in that last sentence.

All I know is, if I ever join one of your games, Stairc, I do NOT want to cross you.
Newbiespud 5th Jul 2012, 10:50 AM edit delete reply
Okay, no. No. To set the record straight, said level 30 party was scared of a freaking former Punisher of the Gods - capable of nearly one-shotting us even at level 30 - that had struck a deal with said level 5 shopkeeper-

Bronymous 5th Jul 2012, 11:01 AM edit delete reply
And I still don't buy that whole "can't be outplayed" thing.
Stairc 5th Jul 2012, 11:20 AM edit delete reply
*laughs* That reminds me of a great quote from one of the players in the campaign finale of my OSU game this year regarding Torrin (that level 5 shopkeeper).

"A level 30 solo demon-lord is loose in our world who we can't even get a good scrying picture of because the image is covered in a constant blood-mist of the people he's killing and the screams of his victims...

The Prison of the Gods has been shattered, letting all the evil entities trapped there since the dawn of time loose...


Torrin's still probably the bigger threat."

And the scary thing was, it turned out to be true.
Zarhon 5th Jul 2012, 1:27 PM edit delete reply
Oooh, I wanna hear about Torrin. Was his story posted already?
Stairc 5th Jul 2012, 2:30 PM edit delete reply
I don't think it was. His collective stories have spanned two campaigns - with him finally meeting his end just a month ago in the finale of this year's college game at Oregon State University. I can post some of the stories about him if people are interested. I'm sure Newbiespud can explain too.

He truly became a legendary figure in our games, to the point where the players renamed the entire plane of existence where he fell "Torrin's End".

Here's an excerpt from a paper I wrote on how to get players to care about the story on an emotional level... There's a whole section on Torrin and how much the players hated him.

"To demonstrate just how much hatred Torrin inspired, I’ve collected a few quotes from those involved with the adventure. Jacques and Ian were also kind enough to present me with one of their private chatlogs regarding the adventure. In order to respect their privacy, only their first names have been provided.

“As a character, I would offer myself into eternal thrall to any power that would listen, simply to never, ever have to cross paths with Torrin Silverfern again. Especially if I could end him myself. This character is conniving, slimy, worse than your stereotypical used car salesman, utterly unscrupulous, and something I would genuinely enjoy stomping into a large, unidentifiable red stain.”

“I think it's enough to say that the only circumstance under which I felt it was acceptable that I not kill him myself was one in which he was condemned to eternal torture by the ruthless powers with whom he dealt.”

Before seeing Ian's quote, it's worth knowing that Ian is a straight-laced accountant-in-training that I've never seen not wearing a button-down shirt. He's always polite, he could be a proper guest at a Victorian tea. This is what he said.

“Torrin was [a] mother-fucking ass that was lucky to get what he got. There is no limit to the amount of torture I would have given him and no judge would have argued the sentence.”

Good times.
Belze 5th Jul 2012, 11:10 AM edit delete reply
Heh I think ill use that sometime maybe throwing in a slippery bridge and a huge rolling stone following them, so only the a "lucky" few gets to meet it ^^
Stairc 5th Jul 2012, 11:43 AM edit delete reply
Lol, that's very close to my most-infamous-dungeon-room-ever that I mentioned above.

It features a hallway flanked on either side by pits of something-bad. Depending on the setting (and how dangerous you want the room to be) you can change it between poisonous snakes, acid, spikes - etc.

A giant boulder drops down from the other side of the room as you enter, the doors you came through snapping closed, and rolls towards you. You get one round to react before it reaches you.

As you see it fall to the hallway, large enough to completely cover the path across the room, you realize two things. First, there are tiny ledges on the sides of the walls - hanging over the pits of bad-things - that players can attempt to jump to and cling on. Failing the checks to jump the pit, grab the ledge and hold on would send the player straight into the pit of bad-stuff they'd be dangling over.

Secondly, a good perception check would show a tiny square of the lethal pits fading away - revealing a 2x2x2 empty pit that people could dive into, out of the way of the boulder until it passes. However, inside it is the above-mentioned transparent gelatinous cube. Diving into the pit results in a sticky, acidic surprise.

What ensues is the party of players trying to jump into the pit or hang onto the ledges or fruitlessly trying to open the door in their one round before the boulder hits them. Newbiespud dived into the pit to get gulped by the cube while the others, after seeing this, hung on the ledges - several falling into the pits of vipers for massive damage.

However, the group managed a brilliant plan of forcing the cube out of the pit and into the path of the boulder - then pushing Newbiespud out of it to fall back down into the pit (taking some more falling damage). They ended their turns and I said,

"The massive boulder rolls down the rest of the hallway, passing through the cube and the door."

The players blinked.

"Wait... Do you mean it *destroys* the cube and door?" Jacques asked.


There was a pause... Then Newbiespud screamed, "IT WAS AN ILLUSION!!! THE BOULDER WAS AN ILLUSION!!!"

And so it was.
Belze 5th Jul 2012, 2:04 PM edit delete reply
HaHa, that was brilliant.
I am now completely agreeing with Lyntermas, crossing you would be a huge mistake.
Stairc 5th Jul 2012, 2:24 PM edit delete reply
*evil grin*

Thank you. Feel free to use it yourself. I love sharing.

The best part is that the dungeon-room has evolved with time. It started off as a room in a dungeon designed with Newbiespud, where the boulder was real. I then re-ran it against him, him knowing that I knew he knew the original room's secrets and desperately trying to figure out what might have changed for me to employ it against his party. He guessed the cube would be gone and thus nearly met a sticky end.

The room got so famous that it's become a trope of my campaigns. I've introduced it several times to various groups, all of whom have heard about it from previous games, each time changing some minor detail... And each time the players end up screwing themselves.

For example, the most recent iteration featured the players dealing with a similar set-up... Only the boulder wasn't an illusion, the pit that usually houses the cube was indeed empty and there was some weird pressure plate between them and the boulder. Some of the players jumped to the ledges, but the ledges proved to be false, sending them tumbling into the pits. Others jumped into the pit and the boulder rolled onto the pressure-plate...

... Which catapulted it off the path and into the 2x2 pit - crushing the players inside.

The solution to the room that time was just to stay still and wait for the boulder to be catapulted out of your path... Which made sense, it was a security measure for a bad-guy council. They wouldn't put security that they'd have to jump around and cling to walls to get around in their way.

Instead, three players nearly killed themselves.

Fun fact: The bad guy who made the hideout? Torrin Silverfern.
Ranubis 5th Jul 2012, 6:08 PM edit delete reply
I am terrified for our poor party come this Friday.
Belze 5th Jul 2012, 7:22 PM edit delete reply
oO i have played with a lot of evil GM's in my time, one of who has mastered the art of looking at you and ask "are you sure you wanna do that?"
but i think after something like that my character would have a hard time even thinking about going on an adventure.
Belze 5th Jul 2012, 7:35 PM edit delete reply
I mean i can handle small things like huge oozes, death traps and boulders. but when a lvl 5 shopkeeper flings a 2x2 boulder after you, i guess thats a good time as any to become a guard instead.
LoganAura 5th Jul 2012, 9:04 PM edit delete reply
Stairc- Master tell me your secrets >:D
Karilyn 6th Jul 2012, 4:22 AM edit delete reply
Stairc. You're scaring me D:
Derpmind 6th Jul 2012, 7:33 AM edit delete reply
...I attack the boulder.

Your move, Stairc.
Karilyn 6th Jul 2012, 9:19 AM edit delete reply
What is going to happen if this room ever shows up in our pony campaign:

Karilyn: "I cleave the boulder in two with my giant axe."
Party: ...
Party: ...
Someone: ... You don't have a giant axe.
Stairc 6th Jul 2012, 9:50 AM edit delete reply

Glad so many people are enjoying the stories. And that last boulder room? It was only the second room of an increasingly-twisted dungeon made by Torrin Silverfern.

That was a fun adventure.
The Guest 6th Jul 2012, 11:37 AM edit delete reply
My first instinct would be to jump the boulder... Or tuck into the corner of the room. Spheres and rectangles always have gaps somewhere. Gotta love geometry.
Stairc 6th Jul 2012, 12:10 PM edit delete reply
The boulder is massive, jumping it would be desperately difficult and failing the jump would result in squish.

And remember, the only corners of the room are filled with vipers or are the afore-mentioned pit that turns out to be a gelatinous cube. =)

Belze 6th Jul 2012, 4:26 PM edit delete reply
guess the only way to survive that room is using pipe dream and my solution to all boulder problems.

Me: "quick get under my tower shield and pray to Palor we can lift it enough to remove some of the dmg"

one huge boulder, a almost dead Ranger and a bunch of healing spells later.

Pipe Dream: "you know, I properly could have jumped over the rock if I had used your shield as a spring board"
Stairc 6th Jul 2012, 6:38 PM edit delete reply
That's awesome. =)

There's always a way to solve the boulder room. In the last one, the answer was just to stand still. *grins*
Cain 7th Jul 2012, 7:39 AM edit delete reply
I had a similar trap I used on Ranubis and the rest of the group, they were fighting a group of Kraken tentacles and Ra was the only one to roll a perception check and saw the 2 slimes moving across the ceiling towards the party, he said nothing and a few turns later one of the slimes lands on one of the fighters resulting in them hacking at it and the wizard using a controllable fireball trying to destroy it before realizing that any damage was split between the slime and the fighter. Thus the dwarf(Ranubis) gets picked up by the minotaur and flung knocking the fighter out of the slime and they kill the slime and it's friend which failed to engulf anyone. Now they always check for slimes on the ceiling.
Newbiespud 5th Jul 2012, 10:56 AM edit delete reply
Okay, so here's an idea:

I could organize and/or run some manner of one-shot pony RPG session at Northwest Bronyfest, a la celebrity D&D games at conventions like PAX.
Bronymous 5th Jul 2012, 11:02 AM edit delete reply
I think that was suggested, like, twice.
Stairc 5th Jul 2012, 11:15 AM edit delete reply
For good reason! I'd definitely be up for co-DMing it with you Newbiespud. DMs unite.
Belze 5th Jul 2012, 10:59 AM edit delete reply
i have a story about a GM failed attempt to make a dangers Pit trap

New game everyone makes a lvl 10 char (i chose a supposed to be useless sorc illusionist) and we are told we have to complete a few challenges.
one being cross this large hole.(this was not more then 5 min after i proudly proclaimed that my only useful spell would be fly)
So i cast fly on everyone and we cross the gap without any problems at all.
but the challenge did not end there, ropes fall the celling above everyone.
being the adventures that we are we all pull the ropes and a trap opens up under us.
GM: make some reflex saves
Players: *rolls* and half of them succeed
Me: well since my fly spell will work for another 9 min, I continue standing in the air, laughing at the guys in full plate jump around on the air trying not to fall down.
Darkside 5th Jul 2012, 12:27 PM edit delete reply
I don't know about failure to navigate a death-pit, but, in one game, there was a room with a pit through the middle, with an hourglass contraption on either side.

Out minotaur companion jumps across, so the rest of us try to as well, two of us make it and one barely does, while I'm examining the hourglass on our side.

Turns out, the hourglasses, when spun, created a bridge, and as soon as one was released, the bridge vanished. So I had one of the others turn the hourglass on the other side and just walked across.
Lithxlen 5th Jul 2012, 1:43 PM edit delete reply
This isn't so much a death-pit navigation so much as having a fight above a massive ravine. We were playing a custom Moria setting for 4.0 and were attempting to fight our way across some narrow pathways guarded by some mage/summoners and their fire elemental while a few (by which I mean 10) orc archers were peppering the party from a safe distance. Everything was going fine until the elemental started trying to shove people off the edge. Unfortunately, the first person to go was my avenger. He barely managed to survive the fall.
After the fight was over, they pulled him back up and we threw a rope over to the platform the orcs were shooting from to loot their bodies. The avenger, being the most likely to make it, got over just fine. Sadly I forgot to have him secure the rope and halfway back, the grappling hook gave out, so I went plummeting down. Luckily I managed to grab the rope, but unluckily, the warden who the rope was attached to didn't make his strength check and he came falling down as well. He landed on top of the avenger and killed him, though the warden still survived.
Akouma 5th Jul 2012, 2:11 PM edit delete reply
Tomb of Horrors, room with the four-directional levers where the left-right axis tilts the room and the up-down axis opens the floor/ceiling. The party got seperated into small groups getting there. I was in the first room, and we figured out to open the ceiling and climb to the next area. One of our party members walks into the room completely alone. For the puzzles, we have a strict no-metagaming policy. Those that aren't directly in the room with the puzzle can't cooperate with those that are, or mention anything about it. The three or four of us that were ahead of her had to sit there watching the lone party member try to figure out the puzzle on her own. she winds up trying out pulling all the levers DOWN. Hundred-foot drop. The DM rolls really on the fall damage, she survives, and climbs up 100 feet in the four rounds (24 seconds) that the hole takes to close and seal you permanently. Complete failure in trying to solve the puzzle itself, but spectacular success in dealing with the consequences. Many laughs and high-fives were shared.
Lawzl 5th Jul 2012, 3:08 PM edit delete reply
So, death pits, eh? Well, there was a pit that screwed over the entire party... I should explain. The party was investigating a haunted town and was attacked by zombies. During the fight, each player fumbled at least twice, and all their weapons fell out of their hands and into the well. And if that isn't deadly enough for you, the rough broke his legs with another fumble trying to get his stuff from the bottom. So yeah.
Guest 5th Jul 2012, 3:09 PM edit delete reply
Jason Shadow 5th Jul 2012, 5:57 PM edit delete reply
Jason Shadow
*ROGUE, actually. "Rouge" is a horse of a different color entirely.
Destrustor 6th Jul 2012, 11:48 AM edit delete reply
The color red, in fact.
Zarhon 5th Jul 2012, 3:13 PM edit delete reply
Campaign continuation! Now with 20% more evil!

Tiffany, Skitter & Horizon
The trio inside the crowd watch the defining point of Rolf's acting career. It's like watching a gruesome chariot accident: Horrifying, yet you can't look away. Chaos ensues as a golden-armored actor is knocked into the crowd, nearly knocking Skitter off his beggar (On account of him laughing so much). Even Tiffany can't help but laugh, despite the immense amount of pity she feels for the "lich". Horizon merely smirks once.


Saving Roll -> 11 - 5 = 6 Failure

Having done your "part" in this fiasco, you attempt to leave the stage to preserve what little is left of your dignity. Before you manage to do so, you feel a strange tingling sensation overcome you, as if ants decided to crawl all over your body. Your body attempts to jerk in reflex, but does not. Your skeletal feet refuse to listen to your directions. Your body feels rigid and immobile, barely kept at balance by it's legs. If someone tried to push you over, you'd most likely fall over unceremoniously. Incapable of doing anything else, you gaze in silence.

The crowd soon joins you in silence. Quite literally: Despite visibly laughing at Rolf, not a single guffaw can be heard from the entire audience, save for one. Everyone quickly stops "laughing" and start miming in confusion. A single voice is heard within the crowd, that of laughter. Wearing a noble's outfit and his face obscured by an elaborate hood of literal darkness, he laughs, louder and louder, causing his voice to echo louder with each breath. Sensing something is wrong, people start backing away from him. As they do, the man suddenly rises into the air, several meters above the entire crowd. He then begins to speak, his voice now booming:

Mystery Man (MM): "Impressive. I must admit, I did not expect this particular turn of events. Normally these shows are always the same... Insulting... Inaccurate... Boring... Ah, but I digress..."

He snaps his fingers. The crowd suddenly regains its voice and starts murmuring, with hints of fear, confusion and panic.

MM:"Now now, there is no need to panic. I can personally assure you that everything that is happening is exactly as was planned. You are in capable hands."

Shrieks and gasps suddenly fill the crowd: Several people attempted to leave the crowd in fear, only to be brutally killed by the robed figures at the entrance, their bodies thrown back into the crowd as a warning.

MM: "Like I said, most capable. You are most likely wondering just *what* is happening. The answer is simple: Step one of seizing this city.

The crowd starts yelling with with a range of emotions, varying from fear, disbelief, and anger.

MM: "Yes, I know, it sounds like something out of a play, much like the one you just witnessed. Why, maybe all of this is just part of the act! An elaborate trick, designed to impress and captivate! Well, for all of you in need of captivation, look no further than to your immediate east!"

The man point towards the east. Rolf notices him muttering something silently, most likely a vocal component of a spell. After a period of strained silence, a massive fireball erupts in the distance, at the approximate location of where the drinking contest was held. Debris from tents, wooden stands, barrels and other objects fly along with it, eventually crashing into the ground, half-charred. From within the fireball, a plume of magenta smoke rises, before quickly settling near the blast's origin point. The crowd, and Rolf, watch in horrified silence.

MM: Step one.
Ramsus 5th Jul 2012, 3:42 PM edit delete reply
"Ah, the mark has appeared." Thought Skitter as he leap off his "mount", somersaulting into the air before dropping down into the crowd and hiding amongst the crowd as he made his way towards MM.

(Edit: What do you get when you mix a non-good assassin, a crowd, and a high profile target? *grins*)
Kris_The_Guest 5th Jul 2012, 4:12 PM edit delete reply
Tiffany growled, taking her hammer off her back. She gripped it tightly in rage. "T-that...that was unnecessary blood shed." She whispered, growling.

(Hmm, I get the feeling that this MM is a real lich.)
Lyntermas 5th Jul 2012, 4:15 PM edit delete reply
Rolf stares in shock at the turn of events. A selfish thought enters his mind that he was lucky that he didn't go to the drinking contest after all. Of course, nothing about this afternoon could be seen as lucky. He glances around desperately, wondering what was happening. One question that entered his mind was why he specifically had been frozen in place while the rest of the crowd seemed free to move around (well, within the theater anyway). Is he afraid that Rolf could use magic against him? An unjustified fear, since apparently the mystery man had the ability to create fireballs from a distance (or possibly activate some sort of pre-set rune), while he was just an apprentice.

His fiery eyes slowly went to look at his bony hands. Huh, perhaps an imitation lich could be of use to such an evil man, but how?

Rolf was in no mood to find out. He concentrated his magical energies to try and break free of the spell that currently bound him. He didn't know whether it would work, but what else could he do?

(Don't know what to roll for, or if it can be resisted, but I try to break free. I'll say I've got Magic Missle and Flare left, unless my new body gives me any...surprises)
Bronymous 5th Jul 2012, 5:29 PM edit delete reply
Horizon takes note of his two companions, and he knew what he must do. He laughs, loudly, so as to get everyone's attention. "Oh my, that is adorable. The whole city, you say? My my, such ambition. This city is so feeble I could take it in a day, if I had mind to, and I could certainly do so without such big talk, or theatrics." Horizon boldly strides through the crowd towards the mystery man. "So what's step two then, now that you've got a handful of people as a captive audience? Something to scare us into obedience, maybe? A show of force? No, that was step one. Making demands? Something to do with necromancy, that much is for certain." Horizon looks over the crowd once more before continuing. "Oh yes, that much is obvious- necromancy is your game. The play, the mystique, it screams "undead". You're predictable. Boring. Your plan is doomed to fail, because you pursue minor goals with too much effort, and your making a show of it. Arrogance begets mistakes." Horizon watches as Skitter moves closer, "Let's just see how many mistakes, you can make before it all comes crashing down."
Kris_The_Guest 5th Jul 2012, 6:24 PM edit delete reply
(You know, we might be #@&$ed if MM read the evil overlord list.)

*What I'm referring to : *
Ramsus 5th Jul 2012, 7:06 PM edit delete reply
What with the speech, the pointless exploding of a non-military location, and not outnumbering the crowd 2-1 with armed men, I think we can be pretty safe in assuming he hasn't.
Kris_The_Guest 5th Jul 2012, 7:08 PM edit delete reply
Yay! Unless it's somehow an illusion and that's not the real boss and it's just s general!
Bronymous 5th Jul 2012, 7:18 PM edit delete reply
I think someone else posted a related Tropes link on that topic. But yeah, being that we haven't actually fought him yet, maybe not a good idea to give the DM a list of good ideas for the bad guy to follow.

Kris_The_Guest 5th Jul 2012, 7:19 PM edit delete reply
...Ahhhhhh! It's probably too late to delete my post! *panics, flailing*
Zarhon 5th Jul 2012, 7:20 PM edit delete reply

Rolf -> 12 -> Success

You mentally struggle to free yourself. You feel your effort is working, as you slowly regain motion to your limbs. As you do so, the man continues to speak to the incredibly bold tall man.

MM: "I'm sorry sir, but audience participation is reserved for step three. Just be patient. Your complaints are hardly justified though: After all, theatrics are for spreading messages! Messages that reignite those little sparks of despair, left over from so long ago. And what better way than to discipline those most likely to threaten me? Hence, step one. So many whore-lusting bards, drunken savages, and other self-claimed "heroes", just dying for a chance to fight a terribly predictable villain, all in one place. But let's not dwell on what was already done! Since you insist, I suppose I'll just skip the theatrics, and start right off with step two! I'd like to thank all the priests and preachers in the audience for this one, as they made it possible, even if it was indirectly. Watch in awe!"

He waves his hands, pointing them in the direction of the temple, and mutters something silently once again. There is a strain in the air yet again. Nothing happens, however. He gestures yet again, this time muttering slightly louder. Nothing.

MM: "Hmmm, that's odd. But not entirely unexpected. That's the beauty of mistakes! They'll happen, and you just adapt to them! Or you die. One of the two. I'll just have to skip straight to Step three..."
Kris_The_Guest 5th Jul 2012, 7:28 PM edit delete reply
Tiffany quickly braced herself, ready for a big attack.
"If I throw my hammer here, then I might hurt someone other than that guy." She thought.

Yeah, no hammer throwing yet.
Bronymous 5th Jul 2012, 7:35 PM edit delete reply
Bracing, bracing....


Seriously, hurry up an fail this assassination attempt so horizon can throw the AF and get this party started.
Lyntermas 5th Jul 2012, 7:49 PM edit delete reply
Zarhon, do I have enough motion to cast spells yet, or is more struggling necessary?
Zarhon 5th Jul 2012, 7:49 PM edit delete reply
(Unless the Kobold has a ring of leaping, you'll hardly have a chance of attacking him properly. As for Rolf, he can barely cast spells due to his inconvenient form)

MM: "Since you obviously know what to expect, I'll leave you to present it to the audience yourself. I'm afraid I won't be present for this particular even... After all, it would be a shame to see step two cancelled. But before I take my leave of you, there is still the matter, involving HIM."


He looks straight at Rolf, quickly gliding right next to him. He then speaks to him:

MM: "Loosen up the ribcage when you speak, and keep the jaw shut, or you'll mess up all your spells. Oh, and good luck with the crowd. It's a killer one, that's for sure."

He pats you on the back in a friendly manner, then slowly floats away from you. Magic energies suddenly start swirling around him.

MM: "Oh, and just for the record..."

Swirling energies continue to surround the mysterious man, until they vanish, revealing a skeletal figure, draped in a robe made of spiked chain links, his back covered in a brilliant magenta cloak, and a stainless steel coronet, adorned with a single blood red ruby. His eye sockets burn with a radiant blue flame, and metallic teeth comprise most of his jaw.

MM:"'s "Zilean"."

He utters a quick phrase, and vanishes.

Naturally, the entire crowd erupts into complete chaos.

(Rolf, thanks to the "advice", you can cast spells without hinderance)
Ramsus 5th Jul 2012, 7:56 PM edit delete reply
"Gah! There goes my big payday!" mutters Skitter to himself. He spots one of the robed men that are preventing people from escaping and decides to take his frustration out on them as, hey, nobody will mind much anyway right? And maybe they have a purse on them if he's lucky.

So, he skulks his way over, to one side of one of them a bit, and from behind a few people he draws his sword and slashes outwards with it at the air. As he does so the shadows before him strike out as if an extension of his blade, and then he scurries farther back into the crowd.

(Edit: Oh right, I need to roll. *rolls* 16 (that's what I rolled, no idea what to add to it).)
Zarhon 5th Jul 2012, 8:04 PM edit delete reply
(I'm not sure what that attack did. Did your shadow do an attack on the robed men/cultists, or...?)
Ramsus 5th Jul 2012, 8:07 PM edit delete reply
Basically it's just a melee +2 reach attack that ignores cover.
Bronymous 5th Jul 2012, 8:00 PM edit delete reply
Game on.

As soon as the crowd erupts into panic, Horizon throws the Alchemist's Fire at the remaining robed henchmen (and the exit, if I'm not mistaken). Without watching to see the results, he turns, draws his scimitar, and charges the stage, signaling for Tiffany to do the same. He approaches the pseudo-lich, ready to strike.

I guess the AF is an attack roll, plus dex (high), minus distance? However you want to do it. I'm holding off attacking Rolf just yet, but not for very long- should give someone enough time to convince me otherwise. Hint Hint.

edit: If Skitter gets hit with that fire, well, wouldn't be the first time I hit a teammate. Sorry.

edit again: Also forgot to roll, got 19.
Ramsus 5th Jul 2012, 8:02 PM edit delete reply
You missed the part where it said he vanished didn't you?

Edit: I don't know how you'd hit Skitter with the fire considering he's basically hiding behind/under civilians.
Bronymous 5th Jul 2012, 8:04 PM edit delete reply
Splash Damage. Just making sure.
Kris_The_Guest 5th Jul 2012, 8:02 PM edit delete reply
Tiffany followed Horizon onto the stage, her hammer at the ready.

Edit : He's talking about Rolf. He was turned into the Pseudo-lich.
Ramsus 5th Jul 2012, 8:04 PM edit delete reply
Oooooooh. Right. Wait, wait, what? I better re-read that.

Edit: Ok, re-read it. Pretty sure it was just saying MM did his showy reveal of his lichness and vanished. Don't see him doing anything to Rolf aside patting him on the back.
Bronymous 5th Jul 2012, 8:05 PM edit delete reply
I didn't throw the fire at Rolf, I'm coming at Rolf with a sword.
Zarhon 5th Jul 2012, 8:20 PM edit delete reply

16 -> Success

The robed figure gets slashed in the gut, bleeding heavily.

Horizon throws a vial towards the robed figures. Two of them get ignited instantly, killing the bleeding one, and causing the other one to start flailing in panic, trying to put them out. The third one of them was unharmed, as there appears to be an invisible barrier around him. It also sets fire to several nearby civilians, killing one outright, and setting four ablaze, who start running through the crowd in an insane panic. Skitter also gets lit on fire, an experience most troubling for one of vampiric origin. The crowd is really starting to panic now: The exit is now being guarded by men who are on fire, and there are people on fire running around like headless chickens. Mass hysteria is setting in, and people are shoving, pushing, and trampling each other to try to get to safety.

(Crowd has a 20% chance of attacking you if you try to wade through it. If you get knocked down by something, you risk getting trampled. Skitter can move through the crowd without risking either of these)

(Ok, really going to sleep now.)

edit edit: Sorry, Ram, retconned your roll.
Ramsus 5th Jul 2012, 8:24 PM edit delete reply

Edit: At both the GM ignoring my roll and getting lit on fire.
Bronymous 5th Jul 2012, 8:34 PM edit delete reply
Ha. Told you. That's a ton of damage for an AF though. Not complaining.

I also don't care about moving through the crowd because I'm already up on stage. Lol.

Ultimately, exactly how I was hoping this would go so far.
Lyntermas 5th Jul 2012, 9:17 PM edit delete reply
Rolf stares over the chaos in horror. He has to help somehow. But people were screaming and on fire and-

He turned and stared at the tall bold man who threw the Alchemist's fire. He was wielding a scimitar and charging straight toward him with an angry expression. He didn't seem to be with the cultists, so why-

Ah, patted on the back by the villain. That didn't look good.

Rolf knew attacking probably wouldn't dissuade the man, so he quickly knelt and held his arms to cover his skull, as if anticipating a blow. Cowardly, perhaps, but the important thing was to not be seen as a threat.

"Ah'm naw wif-"
Right, ribcage loose, jaw shut.
"I'm not with these people! I'm just a wizard's apprentice who was polymorphed for the play! I mean you no harm!"
Ramsus 5th Jul 2012, 9:03 PM edit delete reply
"Gyaaaaah fire ow ow ow!" and thus Skitter spent the following turn rolling around on the ground putting out the fire and trying not to get trampled.
Bronymous 6th Jul 2012, 10:43 AM edit delete reply
Horizon hesitates at the lich's words. "You know, I can't help but believe you. Your terrible acting a few moments ago makes me think you're being sincere now. Still no reason not to kill you, though- whatever that guys plan was, it involves you, and removing you from said plan might be the course of action." He places his scimitar against the lich's would-be throat. "Then again... you can cast spells, correct? Mayhap we could use some Arcane knowledge." He turns and looks at Tiffany expectantly. "I'm open to any thoughts on the matter."

(I was planning on waiting for someone else, but it looked like no one else was moving, so this happened. Otherwise Horizon wouldn't have even considered not killing him.)
Kris_The_Guest 6th Jul 2012, 11:09 AM edit delete reply
"I-I think we should take him with us but we should get him back to normal first."
Bronymous 6th Jul 2012, 11:21 AM edit delete reply
"Oh, well, feel free to do that then. I'm sure the angry, partially on fire mob behind us will wait." Horizon sheathes his weapons, and looks at her, waiting.
Kris_The_Guest 6th Jul 2012, 11:34 AM edit delete reply
Tiffany turned arround whistled loudly. "Everyone calm down! You're hurting yourself to more you panic!" She yelled.
Ramsus 6th Jul 2012, 11:37 AM edit delete reply
I'll wait for the GM to let the NPCs have a turn before Skitter goes back to stabbimating stuff.
Lyntermas 6th Jul 2012, 11:46 AM edit delete reply
"I don't know if they're willing to listen right now, miss. We need to get the last cultist out of the exit so they have a safe way out of here. After that, I'll get their attention using a Flare spell and you can direct them out. After that, I'll help you guys as much as I can."
(I'm willing to edit this depending on whether the DM has the crowd listen to Tiffany or not).
Bronymous 6th Jul 2012, 12:09 PM edit delete reply
Yeah, I'm pretty much just waiting on the DM, too.

edit: Hang on, I have a better idea.

edit: Nevermind, might be unnecessary, saving for later. Back to waiting.
Zarhon 6th Jul 2012, 12:38 PM edit delete reply
( I'm starting to think that Horizon might be the biggest threat to the party at this point... )

The burning cultist manages to extinguish the fire. He's badly hurt, but still capable of fighting. The third cultist starts chanting an incantation, causing the burning body of his dead companion to rise, jerking randomly.


Diplomacy: 7 - 5 = 2 Failure
(Did you have a bonus? I can't recall anymore.)

You shout as loud as you can, but it's barely audible over everyone's screaming. You'll need to speak at least as loud as the lich did, or as loud as the actors did during the play.


You stop, drop and roll, quickly extinguishing yourself with minimal burns. You avoid getting trampled as nobody was crazy enough to go near you on account of the fire.

(I'd like to point out, that you're all forgetting something important.)
Kris_The_Guest 6th Jul 2012, 12:46 PM edit delete reply
(Yeah and no, I don't think she has a bonus. Also, what are we forgetting? )

"uh..." Tiffany looked at the ground before picking up her hammer.
Ramsus 6th Jul 2012, 12:55 PM edit delete reply
(*grumbles* frigging necromancers not being on MY side.)

Skitter figures that the guy with the force field or whatever is the important guy here. Fortunately he has just the trick. Probably. Well, he won't find out just sitting around feeling slightly crispy for himself.

Skitter doesn't even bother getting up off the ground and just sinks down into the shadows (this is not a metaphor) and steps out of the shadow of the as yet, we'll be fixing that momentarily, unharmed necromancer/cultist/whatever, guy who needs a good stabbin....and proceeds to try and stab him in the back.

(*rolls* Well, gee I hope an 18 does it.)
(To explain the shadow's an at-will short distance teleport.)
Calypso 6th Jul 2012, 1:18 PM edit delete reply
Was Zilean standing on a platform of some kind in the middle of the crowd...?
Zarhon 6th Jul 2012, 1:51 PM edit delete reply
Nope, he floated/flied/hovered above it.
Bronymous 6th Jul 2012, 1:56 PM edit delete reply
I think he was levitating. As to what we're forgetting, it could be that there's another way out backstage (or something; which I was "saving for later"), or that we have a big bag's worth of neat necro-gear to consider.
Or it could be something else entirely.

Regardless, its later.

"Well, if you're quite finished trying to solve everything peacefully, I say we head backstage and look for another way out, and leave the crowd to deal with the necromancers., or vice versa. We can take this guy", he pulls the lich up by an exposed collarbone, "with us. If Zileelan, or whatever his name was, was correct, then we could use some Arcane knowledge." Horizon begins moving backstage, dragging the lich along with him. "I hope your Kobold friend makes it out ok!", he called back, only half serious.

(Also, it is often prudent to think of me as a major threat to the party. keeps them on their toes.)
Kris_The_Guest 6th Jul 2012, 2:03 PM edit delete reply
"Skitter!" Tiffany cried. "This way!" She followed after Horizion after yelling for Skitter.

Oh yeah, Skitter and Tiffany do know each other's name.
Bronymous 6th Jul 2012, 2:12 PM edit delete reply
And Horizon know both of their names, he just doesn't use them. And none of you know Horizon's name yet.
Lyntermas 6th Jul 2012, 2:42 PM edit delete reply
As Rolf was dragged away by the angry stranger, he looked out at the crowd rampaging. Alright, he could Flare the stranger, get back to the crowd, and...

And what? How could he calm down the crowd while looking like this? They'd be as likely to attack him as listen to him, which went double for the tall stranger. He felt so powerless, why couldn't he help these people?

Couldn't he do anything right?

He shook off the thought; he had to at least try help his new "allies" to stop this villain. He blabbered at the stranger, "There was a black mage and a cleric backstage; they might be able to help us, and-"

' would be a shame to see step two cancelled.'

"Zilean's still planning to blow up the temple. And-"

'Since you obviously know what to expect..'
'...that much is obvious-necromancy is your game'.

"...The more people die in the audience, the more undead there will be later."
Bronymous 6th Jul 2012, 3:40 PM edit delete reply
"Yeah, yeah I got that much: Step one, kill everyone who can stop him, make himself known, make Step two, destroy the temple, make it easier for him and his buddies to work. Step three, "audience participation". I imagine if we let it get that far, a handful of zombies from that crowd will be a drop in a bucket." Horizon stops and lets go of the lich. He begins searching the immediate area for the way out, as well as any bystanders. "But it won't. He already failed at steps one and two. And we have three key advantages: We have you, we have a sack full things that I am all but certain were meant to go to one of his henchmen, and we are still alive." He pauses, looking back at the lich. "You are still alive, aren't you?"
Ramsus 6th Jul 2012, 3:55 PM edit delete reply
Eh? You guys are really ditching the crowd of civilians to the necromancers? There's only three two (assuming I didn't just kill that guy) and a zombie/whatever.

Edit: Also these guys are probably carrying loot/clues we can use.
Bronymous 6th Jul 2012, 4:10 PM edit delete reply
There's also a huge, panicky, dangerous group of people that are apparently ready to kill at the slightest provocation (if I read the DM right), so its probably best to avoid that hassle, and let them direct their efforts at the bad guys, who can't be that competent because I already killed one of them.

Then again, this is Horizon, he honestly doesn't care about them. There are more important things to worry about (Lawful Evil for a reason).

Skitter, on the other hand, is still back there, and that loot idea was a fair point, so feel free to try and act on it. Just don't die.
Ramsus 6th Jul 2012, 4:56 PM edit delete reply
You could always throw some more explosives at me the badguys and there's a wizard with magic missiles right there next to you. You guys could help out if you wanted to without risking the wrath of the crowd.

Edit: I wonder if that zombie is still on fire considering he died from fire and is unlikely to be intelligent enough to put it out afterwards.
Bronymous 6th Jul 2012, 5:02 PM edit delete reply
Again, not something you suggest openly to the DM. Flaming Zombies=no bueno.
Kris_The_Guest 6th Jul 2012, 5:03 PM edit delete reply
Yeah. It takes a while for a zombie to burn. I know because I've read about it.
Zarhon 6th Jul 2012, 5:10 PM edit delete reply
Hint time!

- The villain *didn't* fail step one.
- Ask yourselves: What got you to go into the crowd in the first place?
- Horizon, you're forgetting something you've seen earlier.
- The robed figures currently guarding the entrance are new arrivals: They came from somewhere else, after you had entered the crowd (In case it wasn't clear by now - modified earlier post to better reflect that. Think my bad grammar confused you.).
- The crowd will try to stay away from obvious danger. Rolf is the only one who they might outright attack, but he can do something about that.
- The crowd could be directed, if only they could hear you...
- Loot is important.
Ramsus 6th Jul 2012, 5:26 PM edit delete reply
Aw crud, this is just a distraction isn't it?
Bronymous 6th Jul 2012, 5:31 PM edit delete reply
If your referring to the other guy that went in the door before the first two, I didn't forget. I may just be confused about the layout of the area, but I thought backstage led to an area that led to where he had gone. If it's something besides that, then yes, I have completely forgotten it.

And by "failed step one" I was simply implying that while he intended to kill all those potential heroes at the drinking contest, he had indeed failed to kill everyone who would be willing and able to stop him (i.e. us).

And you flat out said that if we tried to move through the crowd, they might attack us, because we are obvious threats.

Rolf and Horizon are backstage, out of the mess. Rolf might try to go back and help, but Horizon won't (see: advantages- we're still alive). Tiffany hasn't followed them yet, so she should still be on stage and capable of doing something to help, as can Skitter. Its up to you guys if you want to calm the crowd, kill the necros, etc., but Horizon is working another angle.
Zarhon 6th Jul 2012, 6:16 PM edit delete reply
- No, I'm not referring to the back-door guy. Something you've noticed before chaos erupted.
- By "crowd attacking" I mean if you try to go into it, you have 20% chance of someone accidentally hitting you with their elbow, or getting pushed or something accidental like that. They're not going to actually attack you outright (well, they might Rolf).

Current layout of the "crowd area" is this:
- Entrance, guarded by three robies
- Covered market stalls, acting as a impromptu fence / wall of merchants for the crowd area.
- Stage, with a small backstage (this is where the actors were preparing / holding props / etc. It's outside the temple and inside the crowd area)
- Main temple door, that is part of the main stage, and is currently draped and closed.
Ramsus 6th Jul 2012, 6:19 PM edit delete reply
So...any result on my attack?
Lyntermas 6th Jul 2012, 6:44 PM edit delete reply
Let's see:
1. The others headed for the group because Tiffany was told her brother was with the cultists who hanging around the temple (along with a request to deliver a wire dove to Jack, who is bitey).
2. Horizon noticed that one of the merchants near the side was acting suspicious and could currently be setting up the items in the sack.

Rolf, of course, knows neither of these pieces of information. It would be up to Horizon to remember it (and to be able to act on it).

The tall stranger's speech calmed Rolf down a bit. "No, no I am not dead yet." He rose to his feet. "Which means I can still do something. I'm going back out there with one last attempt to calm those people down. I can't expect you to follow me, so I ask you to look for the black mage and cleric. The mage can change me back, the cleric can heal the wounded and might know more about this Zilean character. I know you need me alive, so I'll head backstage if the crowd turns against me." Rolf heads back to the stage, then turns back to the strange and says, "See you later, hopefully."

Rolf walked back onto the stage. As he passed the woman with the hammer, he said, "Hold on a minute, please?" He then went to the center of the stage, charged his energy, then cast a Flare spell centered high above the crowd. Remembering to project, he spoke in a clear, authoritative tone.

"Attention everyone. My name is Rolf, I'm the silly actor who ruined the play you saw earlier. I mean you no harm. I ask you all to calm down and slowly come toward the stage. My compatriots and I will remove these brutes from the entrance, but we need you to stay calm or you risk harming yourselves. If you see a person on fire, knock them to the ground and have them roll in the dirt until the fire is extinguished. Stay calm, and we can hopefully get you all out of here."

(Roll for Flare accuracy (seen by everyone) and Diplomacy (high ranks). I took Bronymous' comment to mean he wouldn't necessarily knock me to the ground to stop me. Hope this works).
Zarhon 6th Jul 2012, 7:34 PM edit delete reply
(sorry, didn't notice you Skitter :p )


Flare -> 17 -> Success
Diplomacy -> 2 + 8 = 10 Failure

The flare gets nearly everyone's attention. You're pretty sure people outside the crowd saw it too, hopefully a rescue party of sorts. Your attempt of diplomacy does little to calm them however. They do take your advice and extinguish the flaming people though. Needs just a bit more persuasion.


You emerge behind the protected necromancer, thrusting your dagger towards his back. The force of his shield keeps it from reaching him, and it rebounding back. A discharge of energy is released on the rebound, causing the field to become momentarily visible. It starts vanishing the next moment, until it fades completely. The sorcerer, having his shield broken, notices your presence and curses. He points at you and yells, causing the burning undead zombie to turn around and walk towards you. The badly hurt cultist shifts position to be back-to-back with the necromancer, him watching the crowd, while the necro watches Skitter.

(Time to catch some ZZZs.)

Lyntermas 6th Jul 2012, 8:04 PM edit delete reply
At least they aren't rushing the stage to lynch me. Zarhon, two questions:
1. Does "a bit more persuasion" mean I can make another Diplomacy check?
2. Can I hit the sorcerer with a Magic Missle from the stage, or do I have to get closer?

Also, since Horizon is currently backstage, he might appreciate some details about what he is "seeing".

But that can wait. See you guys next comic.
Zarhon 6th Jul 2012, 8:23 PM edit delete reply
1 - Well, I was thinking more along the lines of someone helping you out somehow, but if you can "boost" your speech or affect the crowd to your favor in another way, or just make a very compelling speech (Actions speak louder than words though), go for it. They might start listening or at least calm down.

2 - It's a pretty big range, so you'd get a penalty. You'd risk missing completely, or worse, hitting the wrong target (Someone from the crowd for example), which would not help you with your current predicament. Maybe you've got other spells though? Surely Rolf attempted to get into the women's dormitories at the Wizard's academy. ;) Think up a bunch of spells that would seem in-character for a wizard-in-training.
Lyntermas 6th Jul 2012, 9:10 PM edit delete reply
So essentially you're giving me carte blanche in terms of spells? From the D&D wiki, it said that a level 1 wizard could know 3 0th-level and 1 1st-level spell (2 Dancing Lights, 1 Flare, and 1 Magic Missle). Obviously, Rolf doesn't know Teleportation or other major spells, but would you say that spells are more "realistic roleplay" over "strict mechanics"?
Ramsus 6th Jul 2012, 9:30 PM edit delete reply
4th ed wizards would know more spells at 1st level though. A few cantrips (some of which are amazingly useful like subbing arcana for certain other skills), two at-will spells, an encounter, and a daily. (Of course 4th ed wizards don't end up the broken save or die powerhouses that 3.5 ones do.)

Edit: I'm going to bet the answer to your question leans more towards roleplay though.
Bronymous 7th Jul 2012, 11:15 AM edit delete reply
Go out, accidentally get drunk, come back see all of this.

First off, Lynt, you keep calling me tall. Horizon is only about 6', and the only reason that was a thing is because Tiffany is supposedly short. Thought I would clear that up so you don't have to keep typing tall (unless Rolf is also short, then its up to you).

Also, since this is mostly about roleplaying, I'm pretty sure we can get away with most stuff, so long as it isn't ridiculous. Go nuts with those spells. try Tasha's Hideous Laughter, or unseen servant. Hell, scream Fus Ro Dah and see where that gets you. It could work.

Now since apparently I don't have any sense of direction, I'm going to have to come up with something to work the situation out. It'll go up next page. Meanwhile, still generally searching backstage.
Raxon 5th Jul 2012, 3:23 PM edit delete reply
While not a pit trap, per se, I have had the idea for a hollowed out enlarged gelatinous cube, with contact paper in the sides, top, and bottom of the inside. Let them roll perception and spot checks to notice that the walls are wiggling.

It's part of a fun campaign idea I had a while back, called The Very Bored Wizard.

It turns out that when a very rich, very powerful wizard becomes very, very bored, bad things happen.

It starts with a small child being trampled by mad horse. It gets worse when the team has to fight said horse, and then they learn that the townsfolk have been plagued by mad horses wielding swords, axes, crossbows, lutes, and dual wielding daggers. The wizard's goal was to train the horses and give them class abilities, but they just keep going mad...

It is a very twisted campaign.
Zuche 6th Jul 2012, 9:28 AM edit delete reply
Your wiggling wall story reminds me of the time I had a dungeon with construction performed by a spellcasting medusa architect. Petrification, Stone Shape, Transmute Rock to Mud, Flesh to Stone, a few charm spells and a bit of necromancy... good times.
Raxon 6th Jul 2012, 11:56 AM edit delete reply
I love that concept. And the thing about the wiggling walls is that the floor and ceiling are also contact paper, and of course, the contact paper would tear if you stepped into the room. This means that you would be engulfed in a huge gelatinous cube, albeit one that is not actively attacking you, but you'd still need your party members to get you out.

You also need to find some way through safely. You *could* try to fight it, but if it's not attacking, you could also come up with some very clever way to get past it. Make it clever enough, and I would absolutely give as much XP for the solution as I would have for killing it. Amaze me with something absolutely brilliant, and you'll get more than you would have through killing it.
Stairc 5th Jul 2012, 4:35 PM The Next MLP Adventure - Now Open to Spectators edit delete reply
The next game will occur Friday at 7:30 PST. If you want to spectate, you'll need to email me at

Be on time Oblivious!
Demonu 5th Jul 2012, 4:50 PM edit delete reply
What kind of game are we talking about?
Oblivious 5th Jul 2012, 8:59 PM edit delete reply
Stairc is talking about the Pony Tales Skype campaign we have been doing for the last couple weeks. There's links to the summaries on Google Docs in the "Different Kind of Bored" issue of FiD.
Azureink 5th Jul 2012, 7:29 PM edit delete reply
I would be able to attend to spectator mode around 8-8:30pm, unless work lets me off early for the third time in a row this week (which is possible).

As for creating a character for cameo purposes, I would need help becoming acclimated to the system.
Demonu 6th Jul 2012, 8:56 AM edit delete reply
I would like to sit in and watch one of those sessions but the problem is, I'm about 8 timezones removed from you guys. Normally, that wouldn't bother me but I've got something planned on Saturday that kinds of needs me awake and alert. Bummer...

Perhaps next time.

EDIT: screw social live, I want in ^^
I've send a mail to Stairc for further details.
Ranubis 6th Jul 2012, 10:14 PM edit delete reply
Yay, noble sacrifices! What fun!
Destrustor 5th Jul 2012, 6:24 PM edit delete reply
My group has a legendary story about failure-in-pit-trap. One of the players has a staggeringly low luck, to the point where we don't say "bad dice rolls", we say "(his name)rolls".
So the party had to cross a room whose floor was basically a large, flat sphere of annihilation. There were about four floating platforms over it and the floor was also causing severe instability in all spellcasting. With magic being a very risky option (likely to fail at any moment and without notice), we had no choice but to just jump across.
Most of the party made it to the other side safely despite a few close calls. The platforms were actually loose and could tip, spin and roll in the air. one player had to throw a spear into one of the platforms so that another could use it as a last-chance-before-falling reflex save.
So then came time for the super-unlucky player's druid to cross. He barely made it past the first and second platforms, and jumped toward the third (the one with the spear stuck in it): natural 1.
Tumble check to grab on to it: natural 1.
Reflex save to catch the spear: natural 1.
His super magic portable-mother-tree-in-staff-form druid's staff comes alive, sprouts roots and vines, latches on to the spear(DM's roll, as he probably made that up on the fly to give him one last chance), and all he has to do is a simple climb check, with a bonus since the staff is actively helping him: natural 1.
The DM looked at him and just said "Look, I gave you all the chances I could. You fall and die."
We were all laughing pretty badly since this was fairly par for the course with him.
Chakat Firepaw 5th Jul 2012, 8:46 PM edit delete reply
My pit story comes from a rogue who was trying to do the right thing....

DM (me): "You open the door to find a 30' passage leading to another door."
Rogue: "I check the door for traps."
DM: "You find no traps on the door, this is because you have found a pit trap halfway there. Roll a reflex save."

(And with that, the rogue had managed to fall into every single pit in the entire dungeon.)
Shikome Kido Mi 6th Jul 2012, 2:40 AM Legendary failures in mild drop navigation edit delete reply
So, back in 3.5, I set a party out on this pre-packaged adventure that turns into a crawl into the sewers and then eventually deeper caverns below them. They're level one but the monsters aren't too hard for that. Then, it turns out no one put any points in climb or use rope. Also, all the high strength people have heavy armor with big check penalties. Navigating the maze of passages is harder than the encounters.

After a big fight the party presses on, knowing they're almost to the end, by this time I think everyone may have hit level two, but I'm not sure. Everyone is injured, but not badly. The final room is only accessible by a small drop, like 10-20 feet. The rogue ties a rope and doesn't roll too badly, then climbs down easily. The mage tries, fails, and rolls high on the fall damage and starts bleeding to death on the ground. The fighter tries to climb down to render first aid, flubs the climb roll with something like a 4 before modifiers and falls down on top of the mage. At this point the monsters in the room advance. A pair of dog-things that the party as a whole could have taken even with their injuries if they could have just climbed down safely. Worried about his comrades, the cleric jumps down, figuring he'd us fail the climb roll anyway and he has enough hit points that it would take maximum damage for this fall to knock him out. I try to talk some sense into him but he's committed to this plan of jumping down and healing people. Guess who takes maximum damage from the fall?
So, now the rogue is fighting two monsters by himself with no one to provide flanking. And he's not quite at full life. As DM, I have to fudge like crazy to avoid a total party wipe. Because of a 20 foot drop! No spikes, no trap door, no hazards, heck, not even a rush for time. They could have taken as long as they wanted and this is what happened. To be fair, the dice just hated them in that sequence, no one but the rogue rolled high on anything except when it was time to determine fall damage.
Shikome Kido MI 6th Jul 2012, 2:42 AM edit delete reply
Typo, should be "he'd JUST take" not "he'd us take".
Crimson Doom 6th Jul 2012, 5:51 AM edit delete reply
Crimson Doom
I personally don't have any pit trap stories, but I remember one from Yet Another Gaming Comic... one that led to a Prismatic Wall. And had collapsable floors around the initial pit. And had a caster and a construct specializing in Bull Rush attacking them.
*Warning: only use if the villain is incredibly clever to the point that not including something that deadly would be an insult.
Digo 6th Jul 2012, 7:02 AM edit delete reply
I had an easy pit that the PCs could cross. The other side was a bit higher so some climbing was needed.

However, for the lazy PCs, I installed a nice anti-magic field that would suppress any magical attempt to fly and teleport over. Nearly killed two of them with that, one because he relies on flying way too much. :D
Anvildude 6th Jul 2012, 12:06 PM edit delete reply
Not exactly a Pit, but still involves falling.

So, a pre-made adventure (not sure if it was 'official', or just something the DM had put together for pick-up games) involved me, playing a Goliath Cragtop Archer, and two other characters (don't remember what they were- I think one was a Wizard or Rogue, the other was some sort of tanky type.)

I had given the weakling of the party my ring of Feather Fall, because the task we were facing was that of climbing to the top of a giant tower of bones. I figured, Goliath and Meatshield would have no issues, with Strength checks and all, the weakling needed the protection from falling.

I climbed ahead to scout it out, and came up between two spurs of bone jutting up from the rim of the tower. In the middle was a Moon-Calf, and it was hostile. So, instead of doing the smart thing, and getting back down until help arrived, I balance myself on the rim, and start taking potshots at it.

It grabs the spurs of bone on either side of me with a couple tentacles, and bodyslams me off the tower.

This is about 100 feet up or more, of course. And I go flying off, way out of arms reach from anything.

So, with a quick Use Rope, I tied a rope to an arrow, and shot the tower, hoping to swing safely back to the wall.

The rope snaps, and my character goes plummeting to her death.

The end.
Dusk 6th Jul 2012, 11:48 PM edit delete reply
Well, a proper DnD group would have enough rope and 10 foot poles with them to make a bridge with the help of the fact that someone can fly to the other end.
Ponyfodder 7th Jul 2012, 1:25 AM edit delete reply
Not much in the way of amusing pit trap stories here, except the Dwarf Artificer who fell into a Pit Trap, only to complain about the design. "You call this a Death Trap? I'm barely even maimed!" He then rebuilt the trap "more effectively" before we moved on.
Crimson Doom 7th Jul 2012, 5:37 AM edit delete reply
Crimson Doom
Hahaha! It'd be even funnier if somehow he fell into the trap *after* he had improved it. XD
Ponynomous 7th Jul 2012, 7:10 PM edit delete reply
Just happened this last campaign. So, with the fighter I was subbing for I decide to lead the way into the next room, only to fall into a pitfall we forgot to check for. After the rest of the group manages to lug me out...
Me: "I'll jump over the pit, it's only 1 wide." *roll*
DM: "You clear the pit...and you fall into another pitfall."
Toiski 9th Jul 2012, 2:46 AM edit delete reply
Back in our first 4e game. There's a goblin or kobold cave with a rug on the floor and enemies on the other side. Our Rogue rolls to check for traps, gets 19. DM declares he doesn't see any, and the rogue says he's sure there's no traps.

I know that the required roll to detect traps is 20+. My pyromaniac dragonborn paladin of Erathis doesn't. "Chaaarge!" *thunk*
Koji 25th Jul 2012, 10:29 AM edit delete reply
My biggest pit navigation fail was when I was DMing a game for my party. Basically, while the party was on a quest to destroy a Lich, I was on a quest to destroy a single one of them. He was only level 9 but he had already defeated an ancient dragon single handedly, so in the Lich's castle I made a hall filled with as many CR 20 traps I could. I rolled successful hits for every single trap, but he just kept walking through like it was nothing. Finally he falls into a 200 foot deep pit with a reverse gravity trap in the bottom of it, and he chooses then to reveal one of his class features to me. He had a permanent feather fall. Since then he has gone on to kill 2 gods and has never come close to dying.
Sewicked 9th Aug 2012, 5:45 AM "I regret NOTHING!" edit delete reply
We're pursuing some bad guys through caverns and they have an escape planned. They all have spider climb and are 'running' down the side of the 100' cliff.

None of us had fly or feather fall or spider climb. The barbarian yelled, "I regret Nothing!" as he jumped off the cliff, aiming to hit the topmost fleeing villain; hoping his weight would overburden the spell and they'd both fall.

It worked. He hit, and both fell to the ground. And the bad guy took double damage; from the fall and from someone landing on him.
PonyTrick 12th Nov 2012, 10:35 AM edit delete reply
Here's a bad pit trap that I heard about online (2 of them actually, but only 1 works in 4e)

Basically you have a long room. On the floor, you pretty much have an alternating series of floor, pit traps, illusions covering pit traps, then a "bonus" pit trap at the end. The "bonus" pit trap is an illusion of a pit trap (low DC to see through) covering an illusion of solid floor (hard DC to see through) covering an honest-to-goodness spike trap. (For what it'd look like, assume O = floor, X = spike pit, I = illusion covering spike pit, PA RT Y being each square of the bonus.


(For added fun, you can have a real wall separate the open spike pits from the illusioned ones, but make the wall so thin that when they climb onto the "floor" at the other side, they fall into another spike pit >;)

The second spike trap I saw was basically a "shadow illusion" or something like that, where if you saw that the spell was fake, it was fake; otherwise it was as real as you thought it was (example: illusory arrows that only hurt you if you don't notice they're not real.)
Your next step: cover a pit trap with this illusory stuff. The high-perception characters fall right through it, while the dumb ones can walk through with ease.
KingArthur5 28th Jun 2013, 1:40 PM Shotput edit delete reply
In my second campaign, my friend and I had to cross a chasm/pit spanning across a room in a cave. I was a half elf warrior withdecent strength and my frriend was a halfling. Jumping wasn't an option, but we decided that I would throw him across with a strong rope tied to him. We would anchor the rope on both sides, and I would shimmy across. Well, DM okayed it, saying the distance was close enough, and we prepared for launch. I rolled for the toss... natural 1. I do the equivelant of a touchdown celebration and throw him straight down into the chasm. Fortunately, thr rope holds, and he takes some damage from the rope suddenly stopping his fall. I can't remember how we got across, but we did, and we haven't utilized the Halflingball strategy since.
Somber Star 13th Aug 2014, 1:05 AM edit delete reply
So a few years ago, I was playing in a campaign with a DM who swung wildly between unspeakably malevolent and equally generous. In one of his latter moments, he addressed the problem I had where my characters tended to draw terrible misfortune by giving me one of his 'unkillable' characters: a mid-level Warforged Gnomish Tinkerer. It was really awesome and I could create pretty much anything with it, but unfortunately, I couldn't think outside the limits of pre-existing spells, save for once. The party included a snide rogue disguising himself as an illusionist (the DM), an alcoholic Auran sorcerer, and a half-retarded druid.

We were traveling up a mountain in a contraption of my character's own design comprised of a steel cart powered by a Decanter of Endless Water and a Fire Elemental when suddenly we encounter the party's deadliest foe yet: a large hole in the road that led to the bottom interior of the mountain, within which was hidden the lost ancient city we were looking for and the massive shades which were haunting it.

Half the party has ways to get down safely (the rogue has a Ring of Feather Fall, the Auran mage is an Auran sorcerer). The druid has like five, but he's too stupid to use any of them, and my character is basically screwed. That is, until I get the idea of a couple launch pistons and a giant parachute for the cart. The DM allows them (not even requiring the time and resources it takes to build them) so I gun the cart's "engine", launch perfectly into the air, and drop into the hole's center as more of its edges crumble away.

The rogue and sorcerer bail immediately, deploying their safe-falls and proceeding to watch the following events transpire. My warforged, oblivious to the exact location of the druid, waits about five seconds before activating the giant parachute. The druid, oblivious to the fact he's sitting on the package for a giant parachute, gets trapped in it, causing it to cigarette-roll around him. He panics and lights the parachute (and himself) on fire as he tries to escape. My warforged notices things have gone horribly awry and tries to bail, intending to jump out of the cart and use his bladed gauntlets against a nearby stone wall (we'd at that point fallen far enough to reach the tallest buildings of the ancient city) to slow his fall. Two critical failures later, he is under the falling self-powered cart followed by the screaming, burning, parachute-wrapped druid.

200d10 points of falling damage later (which my warforged took three times because of the cart and druid), both of our characters are dead and the cart has exploded. The explosion is so massive that it destroys all the shades, whose attention it had drawn, and levels most of the ancient city.

The DM and his character are both trying not to die of laughter, and the Auran's player says his character quit drinking and adventuring, because he's convinced there's nothing he's ever going to see in his life that's going to top that.

...and that's the story of how I accidentally killed an unkillable character provided by my DM and ended a campaign in one session.