Page 150 - Wrangling Apologies

19th Jul 2012, 6:00 AM in Dragonshy
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Wrangling Apologies
Average Rating: 5 (3 votes)
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Author Notes:

Newbiespud 19th Jul 2012, 6:00 AM edit delete
150 comics?! How'd this little pony RPG comic get so far?

Even more astounding, next Saturday is July 28th, marking the 1-year anniversary of Friendship is Dragons! Whatever shall I do?

Also, in the world of pony RPG news, the Pony Tales forum is now up and running... which means that I'm no longer required to take up space in the Author's Notes every time there's an update. Huzzah!

Notice: Guest comic submissions are open! Guidelines here. Deadline: February 20th.



Zarhon 19th Jul 2012, 6:02 AM edit delete reply
Huzzah for the forum!

As for the anniversary: Double / special feature comic? Or a bonus comic with the ponies playing "Paranoia".
Umiyuri Papaeyra 19th Jul 2012, 6:02 AM edit delete reply
Umiyuri Papaeyra

Yes, this DM is you. This DM is most definitely you.
Stairc 19th Jul 2012, 8:42 AM edit delete reply
Yep, this DM was willing to throw out his whole campaign to reward the players' creativity and let their amazing triumph happen against Nightmare Moon.

It's definitely Newbiespud.
Umiyuri Papaeyra 19th Jul 2012, 9:05 AM edit delete reply
Umiyuri Papaeyra
Also that's his panic when he gets something terribly wrong. XD
Karilyn 19th Jul 2012, 9:45 AM edit delete reply
A DM who's willing to do such a thing is truly an S-Tier DM.

You can try to make epic happen as a DM, but true epic flows naturally, and it takes great strength to allow true epic to waylay your plans.
darkwulf23 19th Jul 2012, 6:04 AM edit delete reply
Ah come on DM. The girls like your campaign and wanted to play it even after the initial campaign was prematurely ended. You must be doing something right.
Digo 19th Jul 2012, 10:25 AM edit delete reply
Playing as ponies was a good start XD
Zarhon 19th Jul 2012, 6:08 AM edit delete reply
Cue the DM's sanity breaking as his Dragon gets broken horribly by Fluttershy, of all players.
Lyntermas 19th Jul 2012, 6:58 AM edit delete reply
Or possibly the reverse. What with Fluttershy's constant fear of failure throughout this adventure.

DM: Fluttershy, the rock you were hiding behind crumbles. You see all of your friends prone on the ground as a giant red dragon approaches. *sigh* You could try making a Diplomacy or Nature roll to calm the dragon down. Or possibly distract it in order for your friends to recuperate.
FS: Um, I don't think that's going to work.
RD: Come on, Fluttershy. You can't be afraid of bad dice rolls forever.
FS: Oh, it's not that. A Nature roll would be pointless; I already know that Rainbow Dash made it mad. And I don't think it's in any position to take Diplomacy from something it doesn't respect. No, the only real recourse is to use Intimidate.
um, rolling for Intimidate.
TS: But Fluttershy, you only have...15 ranks in Intimidate!?!
DM:Huh...You know what, go right ahead, Fluttershy, you know what your doing.
AJ: *whispers* Um, DM, what if she succeeds? I'm guessing you had long-term plans for this dragon.
DM: *whispers* I'm taking your advice and not sweating the small stuff. If she gets her confidence back, it'll all be worth it.
Bronymous 19th Jul 2012, 12:01 PM edit delete reply
You know whose sanity needs to break? Tiffany.
Zuche 19th Jul 2012, 12:17 PM edit delete reply
Tiffany? The one that did a cover of "I Think We're Alone Now" back in the eighties?
DracoS 19th Jul 2012, 5:11 PM edit delete reply
Love that song. ;u;
Crimson Doom 19th Jul 2012, 6:10 AM edit delete reply
Crimson Doom
Hmm, maybe that's where Spud's taking this! A succession of broken campaigns, one by each of the players! We've done Twilight, and Fluttershy is coming up. Rarity could probably derail a Diamond Dog adventure. Can't think what might work for the others, though. Any thoughts?
Destrustor 19th Jul 2012, 6:41 AM edit delete reply
The DM plans on having Rarity in mortal danger of falling to her death, only to be saved at the last second by his never-before-seen quest-hook Macguffin NPC.
All of a sudden Rainbow Dash declares that she breaks the sound barrier to rescue her herself, complete with a detailed scientific explanation of how this is possible and some rules-lawyering to justify her character having such an over-powered skill.
DM cries again.
Lyntermas 19th Jul 2012, 7:19 AM edit delete reply
Which all leads to a head at the Grand Galloping Gala. All the ponies have their own separate goals, and immediately split the party six ways. The DM was hoping that they would help each other accomplish their goals, but now he has to run six different scenarios. And he's expected to put up with this? After all of his lengthy plans have been derailed in one session?

No, the DM's not gonna take this lying down. He's going to make the ponies have fun TOGETHER at the Gala. Even if he has to burn Canterlot to the ground to do so.
Zarhon 19th Jul 2012, 7:59 AM edit delete reply
In the end, the DM realizes they were having fun all along by making the DM improvise. She then busts out the GMNPC and slaughters them all (in good humor, of course), reminding the players the importance of never splitting the party. They all laugh around the game table as the camera fades.
Bronymous 19th Jul 2012, 11:31 AM edit delete reply
Maybe, until Twilight figures out the elements were back in ponyville all along, and they manage to pull together and beat discord anyway.
Jason Shadow 19th Jul 2012, 6:18 AM edit delete reply
Jason Shadow
Hey, it's one hundred and fifty comics? And the 1-year anniversary is coming up, too?! Do you know what this calls for?

A party!

But in all seriousness, congratulations. You know you've got a good thing when you manage to keep it together for this long and get so many regulars.

Now, as for the comic itself. I wonder, does this push the DM into Woobie territory? Because I have the sudden urge to give him a blanket and a warm drink and tell him that everything is gonna be okay... Nah, that's probably just me.
Umiyuri Papaeyra 19th Jul 2012, 6:54 AM edit delete reply
Umiyuri Papaeyra
Yes, blankets and warm drinks and maybe also chocolate.

And maybe also cuddles.
Raxon 19th Jul 2012, 7:33 AM edit delete reply
I'll supply the marshmallow cupcakes!

Also, Rarity has an appointment in Canterlot that weekend and will be unable to attend, but she sends her love.
CharginChuck 19th Jul 2012, 9:29 AM edit delete reply
Lately, I've been reading all your comments with Nolan North's Deadpool voice in my head. More often than not, it's almost disturbingly appropriate.
Raxon 19th Jul 2012, 10:04 AM edit delete reply
Required watching.

Yep, same guy. Good stuff. What can I say? I take role playing very seriously. Now, it's your turn to wear the funny hat, and I get to be the naughty nurse.

P.S. Yes, I was an avid Deadpool reader, up until Marvel stopped recognizing my home for shipping them to for no apparent reason, and since the nearest comic book store that will even order them is 30 miles away, and I don't drive, I cannot get them anymore without paying outrageous fees via third party distributors. Still my favorite antihero. /rant

[chimichanga]I'd like a taco, please.[/chimichanga]
Zuche 19th Jul 2012, 6:19 AM edit delete reply
So while the DM is the director of this show, AJ's player secured both actor and executive producer credits.
Digo 19th Jul 2012, 6:23 AM edit delete reply
DM insecurities? Oh yeah, I have them. I always fret that all the players aren't having fun together or that arguments between characters are becoming OOC arguments, etc. It's hard trying to direct a group. Takes a lot of work.
Destrustor 19th Jul 2012, 6:29 AM edit delete reply
I like how the in-game/out-of-game scene change makes it seem like we're watching the mane six actually playing themselves as characters in an RPG. It's so meta.

Also, if I may initiate story time; tell a story about breaking the DM.
I don't have a personnal example, but My own DM once destroyed another DM: It was that guy's first time DM'ing and at one point he let the players choose their own loot for some reason, without specifying any restrictions (or something like that. I don't know, I wasn't there personally).
So my DM asks for "Obad-hai's book of absolute knowledge", and the guy accepted, even despite my DM's insistence about whether he was "really sure you want to let me have this? Like, really really sure?". Oblivious DM is oblivious and still says yes.
So he now had a book containing ALL knowledge in the universe, with complete instructions on how to cast epic-level spells at level five without breaking a sweat, how to solve any puzzle or quest, where to find any and everything in the universe, and how to obtain it in less than a second.
That book gave the DM such a hard time that he eventually decided to have the goddess Tiamat show up to offer a deal: "you give me that book, and I give you(80 attribute points to distribute however you want)"
He accepted and immediately murdered her with his newfound uber-godly stats to take back the book.
The DM just gave up at that point. My DM is very dangerous to have as a player.
Guest 19th Jul 2012, 8:42 AM edit delete reply
Wow that seems like a really mean thing to do, was your DM just being a jerk or was his OCD/whatever making him do that?
Destrustor 19th Jul 2012, 9:14 AM edit delete reply
Well he doesn't get to be a player very often so he tends to try to make the most of it. Also, his character was apparently a jerkass and he usually roleplays those very well. Finally, he probably wanted to see how far he could push this insanity.
But you have to admit the other guy kinda walked straight into this one. It was a fairly great crash course in DM'ing.
"oh no, I gave that player way too much power! What do I do? AH-HA! GIVE HIM MOAR POWER!!!"
Anyway it was all in good fun and, as I said, he's a very dangerous player when he wants to.
Digo 19th Jul 2012, 10:28 AM edit delete reply
Huh, I rarely get to be a player but in my case I overply the nice "team player" and constantly get backstabbed by some of the others. XD
Raxon 19th Jul 2012, 6:32 AM edit delete reply
Insecurity? Repeat after me.

"My players love me because of my incompetence. Chicks dig neurotic idiots. An inability to plan is a sign that I have nothing to compensate for."

It's so nice to be able to say that and have people know me well enough that they know I'm just being silly, and not making fun of anyone.
Beard 19th Jul 2012, 7:23 AM edit delete reply
I have to admit I'd have been furious with the treatment way before this DM broke. I don't believe in in-game punishments for out of game behavior but I'd have at least taken Applejack's player aside and asked that she take a fucking breath for the sake of the two new players at the table.

...then again I also would've done something to preserve the game's villain despite the heroes guessing how to work the McGuffin artifacts. Clearly the GM and Applejack's player have gamed together before this, possibly even with AJ as the GM or just a more experienced player, which would explain a lot of this.

Either way girl needs to work on her people skills. She's RIGHT, of course, but says it in basically the worst possible way after some consistently bad behavior on her part.
Demonu 19th Jul 2012, 7:57 AM edit delete reply
I present to you: the summary of Team BaSgAS' first adventure

Some ponies just want to beat a dragon

In an entirely unrelated note, have some music

And may I add, as a DM I feel very secure in my omnipotence within the game. Untill people start rolling 28 multiple times in a row...
Lyntermas 19th Jul 2012, 8:32 AM edit delete reply
Yeah, Fate always seems to have problems with The Lady.

Case in point:
Jason Shadow 19th Jul 2012, 8:33 AM edit delete reply
Jason Shadow
...I feel like I just read something akin to the Pony Bastard Lovechild of "Looney Tunes" and "The Adventures of Dr. McNinja".
Stairc 19th Jul 2012, 9:47 AM edit delete reply
Demonu... Is it your birthday today?!
Demonu 19th Jul 2012, 10:55 AM edit delete reply
Apparently, yes.

I'm just as surprised as you are.
Stairc 19th Jul 2012, 11:06 AM edit delete reply
Then surprise! Happy Birthday!
Raxon 19th Jul 2012, 10:56 AM edit delete reply
I know that song! That's Cake Dance!

And happy birthday! I know how you feel, I miss my own bday all the time.
Zarhon 19th Jul 2012, 12:23 PM edit delete reply
Happy Birthday! Only 8 more years until you're thirty!
Lyntermas 19th Jul 2012, 12:33 PM edit delete reply
Kaleopolitus 19th Jul 2012, 3:51 PM edit delete reply
The glory is strong in this story.
Stairc 19th Jul 2012, 8:43 AM edit delete reply
Last night's Pony Tales adventure...

We lived a friendship episode!

So awesome.
Lyntermas 19th Jul 2012, 8:52 AM edit delete reply
Wait, wait, wait. From what little I've been able to glean, Alcazar got Inky Quills enraged at him, Heat Wave turned into Conflagria, and Inky Quills made a deal with PONY SATAN to bear the Anti-Christ.

And this all ended WELL?
Demonu 19th Jul 2012, 8:58 AM edit delete reply
Can't wait to read the summary, as I was unable to join in myself.
Karilyn 19th Jul 2012, 8:59 AM edit delete reply
So, the dice rolls from the climatic moment of last night's pony tales session. You get no context for this.

Inky: So I have a prepared speech for this.
DM: Let's here it
DM: Roll Persuasion
Inky: 3 + 23 = 26
DM: Keep going
DM: Roll Persuasion
Inky: 8 + 27 = 35
DM: Keep going
DM: Roll Persuasion
Inky: 16 + 29 = 45
DM: Keep going
Inky: Wait, are you serious? I just ran out of prepared speech. I'll have to ad-lib!
DM: Keep going
DM: Roll Persuasion
Inky: Natural 20. And that's my cutie mark skill. CUTIE MARK CRITICAL!

And that was the first non-joke Cutie Mark Critical of the entire campaign. How much more climatic a timing could the dice have had? Starting with a low roll, escalating each time, before finally ending on the first Cutie Mark Critical of the campaign after I start ad-libbing the final section of my speech.

It's nice when the dice aren't trying to kill you, and actually decide that "Yes, yes the moment you are currently having is very epic."

Oh, and the challenge was so hard, that even a second grandmaster success, or even likely a regular critical, wouldn't have been enough. Cutie Mark Critical, DOING THE IMPOSSIBLE! (Even the Cutie Mark Critical just barely managed to complete the task, and we were left hanging for nearly an hour about whether it worked or not, complete with a real life friendship episode)
Masterweaver 19th Jul 2012, 9:06 AM edit delete reply
Masterweaver the heck do those die bonuses work?
Karilyn 19th Jul 2012, 9:11 AM edit delete reply
I had a 16 in Persuasion (A cutie mark skill caps at 18, though can theoretically reach up to 28 with talents), and +1 for the day from Scrapper's Instant Party (Scrapper is a new player in Session 4, which I'm about halfway finished writing). The rest of the bonus was awarded because... well? My speech was really damn good.

The RP bonuses were 6, 10, and 12. Admittedly the bonus I got on the ad-libbed section was only 5, but it didn't matter when I got a Nat20.

Needless to say, the DCs in PonyTales tend to be unusually high compared to DnD, as a group of level 1 adventurers managed to pool their friendship and pass a 60DC "Super Ultra Mega Grandmaster" check in Session 4 without the aid of a critical.
Stairc 19th Jul 2012, 9:36 AM edit delete reply
Yes, a significant element of my campaigns is that I let what the players say when attempting diplomacy/intimidation give them bonuses or penalties to the check - which encourages roleplaying. Karilyn (Inky Quills) spent a long time before the session writing our what her character might say if they fell into this situation... And we all thought they deserved huge bonuses.
Stairc 19th Jul 2012, 9:33 AM edit delete reply

It's always darkest before the dawn.

Raxon 19th Jul 2012, 11:00 AM edit delete reply
I thought it was always darkest right before the commercial break.
Zuche 19th Jul 2012, 12:21 PM edit delete reply
Weird. I always found the screen was darkest right before we came back from the commercial break.
Raxon 19th Jul 2012, 1:47 PM edit delete reply
How about "It's always darkest before you see the light at the end of the tunnel?"
DracoS 19th Jul 2012, 5:25 PM edit delete reply
It's always darkest when it's dark?
Digo 19th Jul 2012, 10:30 AM edit delete reply
Doesn't it always in these kind of games?
Zuche 19th Jul 2012, 12:19 PM edit delete reply
Hey, now. It's FREAKING PONY SATAN, remember?
CmndrHurricane 19th Jul 2012, 8:54 AM edit delete reply
1 year anniversary?
Guest 19th Jul 2012, 8:56 AM edit delete reply
Who needs DM punishments when the players do it themselves either because:

A. They legitimately want to play on the rails and see how the story goes.


B. Fear the consequences of jumping the rails.

Players: "We subdue the rogue, tie him up, and put him in front of the town barracks with a note.


DM: *Sigh* "They just don't want a repeat of a campaign that happened before you came here."

T: "What?"

DM: "It involved the thief failing a pickpocket roll on what she thought was a random patron in a bar and it turned out it was a very old but very deadly former adventurer...They couldn't RP out of it and needless to say...that quickened fireball was a TPK for a level 2 party. Just switch out pickpocket with something else and let's move on as if none of that happened."
Cyberfox 19th Jul 2012, 9:13 AM edit delete reply
...I stand corrected. Guess the DM really did snap.

For those not knowing what I'm talking about (probably 99% of you), I'm referring to a comment I made two days ago where I thought the DM was just messing with AJ on the "GAAAAAHH!! ROCKS FALL! EVERYPONY DIES!" line.
Andy 19th Jul 2012, 9:13 AM edit delete reply

I think that this comic just achieved a major milestone in terms of tone. DM of the Rings had a DM who railroaded to high heaven, Darths and Droids had a DM who got their campaign and rolled with it...

...but I like this even more, because the DM just had their campaign broken, and isn't dealing with it well. That's prime character stuff there. Oh, and Apple Jack has become teh wins.
Azureink 19th Jul 2012, 9:40 AM edit delete reply
Poor DM, riled by the player pointing out the obvious. I have both been on the receiving end and the giving end. It is not fun either way.
Goblin Scribe 19th Jul 2012, 10:30 AM edit delete reply
Aw, AJ's makin' peace.
Stairc 19th Jul 2012, 11:25 AM edit delete reply
By the way, we're in the market for Pony Tales: Aspirations of Harmony banners/logos. After seeing what all you amazing artists did for Friendship is Dragons, I'd be thrilled to offer an exclusive invitation to the Friendship is Dragons community to craft something for Pony Tales: Aspirations of Harmony too.
Raxon 19th Jul 2012, 11:48 AM edit delete reply
I have two forms of art. Stick figures, and pyrosculpting. I dunno if it's really called that, but it's basically origami with chemical soaked paper to give really cool effects. Borax retards the flames, while certain other chemicals(Not gonna say which ones, because it's not exactly a safe hobby.) make the paper burn better. You can make a paper mache face with borax added to the mix, and it won't burn, while the paper covering it burns away. Very time consuming, and it can be very dangerous. It's like a chemically automated performance art! Put one piece of paper in the wrong spot, and you can set yourself on fire, though.

All in all, while they are both highly respectable art forms, I doubt either of them are quite what you'd be interested in.
Bronymous 19th Jul 2012, 12:00 PM edit delete reply
I recently discovered I'm not too bad at drawing ponies. Too bad I lack the required equipment to put any of said drawings on the computer. Otherwise...
Bronymous 19th Jul 2012, 11:28 AM edit delete reply
Wow, I am actually now in the habit of completely skipping the comic and going right for the comments.
Raxon 19th Jul 2012, 11:50 AM edit delete reply
I know what you mean! If it wasn't for the comments, then none of you would have ever seen my manly body of texty goodness!
Stairc 19th Jul 2012, 12:19 PM edit delete reply
I'm not. I read the comic first always, I look forward to it every day.

I've actually stopped reading Darths and Droids regularly to focus on this.
Zarhon 19th Jul 2012, 12:25 PM edit delete reply
I spend hours looking at the comments. Mostly because I have to post my campaign :p
Bronymous 19th Jul 2012, 12:52 PM edit delete reply
Speaking of
Kris_The_Guest 19th Jul 2012, 12:58 PM edit delete reply
which, let's get back to the campaign.
Bronymous 19th Jul 2012, 1:06 PM edit delete reply
He might be tired. We did keep him up past his bedtime last night.
Kris_The_Guest 19th Jul 2012, 1:09 PM edit delete reply
Well at least tomorrow is Friday. That means we can all stay up late!
Zarhon 19th Jul 2012, 1:25 PM edit delete reply
Nah, I just take aaaaaaaaaages on my posts.
Shiva491 19th Jul 2012, 3:08 PM edit delete reply
Is it just me, or has Darths and Droids, on average, been a bit less funny recently?
Bronymous 19th Jul 2012, 11:20 PM edit delete reply
I don't know. They seem to be going a lot slower to me. Taking extra pages on one scene or something like that. Also, I hope he doesn't do that stupid Mario accent for the rest of the campaign.
tuxgeo 19th Jul 2012, 4:19 PM edit delete reply
Amen. "Comic first, always."

The comments can wait; and the comments accumulate as time passes, so I have to come back and reread more comments anyway; and I'm not in Zarhon's game, so I have to skip a lot of comments; and. . . .

"Comic first." Always.
Zarhon 19th Jul 2012, 1:24 PM edit delete reply

Part swoon: Sacrilege for fun and profit.

R & S

5 (S)
10 (R)

Both of you split up and take a room each on the right. You pass within view of Ivy's room as you do so: It's empty.

Skitter's room is empty. It's shaped and furnished pretty much identically to the room you were just in, only this one was clearly used regularly and recently: The bed is untidy, there are a pair of sandals near it, as well as a lit candle. There's a scripture writing kit on the table. A bible is spread open, with one of it's pages partially inked. There's a closet and chest here as well, but they're locked.

Rolf's room is rather similar, only the table is empty. The bed was used, but it's tidy. There are purple stains on the floor. Checking the closet reveals rough yellow robe, the kind that sacrifices looks for durability. The chest has several sandals, an empty bottle, some random assorted books and a diary.

He quickly skims the diary. Most of it is just random entries, but two of them catch your eye:

"Finally brought the last of this month's supplies for Lizzie. Fifty trips, back and forth. My back is killing me. Could have gone to the butcher next door, but no, Lizzie simply *has* to be picky... No discount is worth this much trouble."

"Hah, looks like that drunken sod finally got himself caught. Now I get to use his route all for myself."

H & T

Pull door -> 10 + 5 = 15 (T)

Tiffany tries to pull it open, but her strength alone isn't enough to break its lock or hinges.
Kris_The_Guest 19th Jul 2012, 1:35 PM edit delete reply
Tiffany huffed before trying to hit the door open with her hammer.
Lyntermas 19th Jul 2012, 1:52 PM edit delete reply
Rolf looked at the diary, then back at the room. This would explain the continued thefts after Brother Silas was locked up. "Skitter, if you got a minute, try checking this room for secret passages. It might lead to the cellar."

He paused to think for a moment. What could this guy have been bringing in? And who was Lizzie?

..."I'd like to thank all the priests and preachers in the audience for this one, as they made it possible, even if it was indirectly."

They'd have to be sure to examine any large quantities of meat they found.

Rolf left the room and stood in front of the last door on the left. Either the person had run into the sanctuary (through the stained glass door), gone into the secret passage, or was behind this door. "You think I should knock?" he asked Skitter."
Ramsus 19th Jul 2012, 1:46 PM edit delete reply
Are there more unchecked rooms nearby? If so, Skitter goes and checks the nearest one.
Bronymous 19th Jul 2012, 2:08 PM edit delete reply
Horizon stands away from the door as Tiffany hefts her hammer. Remembering this is supposedly a hostile situation, he draws his weapons and prepares to charge the doorway.
Zarhon 19th Jul 2012, 2:51 PM edit delete reply
[ Just for clarification: you checked all the doors on the right wall. There's still a closed door (Rolf is on it now) and the broken door room to inspect, as well as the stained glass door, and all the doors at the hall you entered the temple from ]

R & S

Skitter goes back down the hall and chooses the first of four doors lined up in this side of the hallway. You shadow-port inside.

6 + 8 = 14

You appear in the room. A young man is lying in the bed, facing away from you...

Meanwhile, Rolf knocks on the door of his chosen room. As he does so, he hears someone moving inside. Someone is approaching the door.

T & H

Hammer -> 17

Tiffany smashes the door with her hammer. You hear a sound behind the door again, it sounds like some plants being walked on. After a few more solid bangs, you manage to break the door's lock, causing the door to slightly creak open. As it does so, a rather strong, musky smell escapes the room.
Lyntermas 19th Jul 2012, 3:01 PM edit delete reply
Rolf hears someone starting to approach his door. He looks around, but Skitter is nowhere in sight. He must have shadow-ported into one of the other rooms. Hopefully he doesn't scare anyone too badly.

He turns back to his door. "Is anyone there? My name is Rolf Towden. There has been an attack by the undead on the city, and we believe those responsible have designs on the temple. Any help you can give would be greatly appreciated." That should satisfy anybody friendly.

In case they weren't friendly, though, he decided to move to the side of the door and get a grip on his cudgel. That way, if a cultist burst open the door to shoot out a spell, he'd be able to hopefully dodge it and give the villain a good thwack before pulling out the big guns.
Bronymous 19th Jul 2012, 3:02 PM edit delete reply
Ah, we found where they grow the ceremonial weed.

Horizon rushes into the room, ready to strike.
Ramsus 19th Jul 2012, 3:05 PM edit delete reply
Skitter ports back through the door and goes to find Rolf who asks him to check for secret passages. "That can wait. I found a guy. He was lying in a bed. If he's a cleric or something it'd probably be better if he saw you first. If not then both of us being there is better too."
Kris_The_Guest 19th Jul 2012, 3:23 PM edit delete reply
*Facepalm* That made me laugh more than it should have.

Tiffany rushed in as well.
Zarhon 19th Jul 2012, 3:52 PM edit delete reply
R & S

The door opens, revealing a man, partially covered in armor. He has a yellow tabard with the temple's symbols on it. He sees Rolf, then speaks.

"What? Undead? Explain. Wait a minute, how did you get in here, exactly? And what's that cudgel?"

He then turns around, hearing Skitter approaching. He notices a chalice sticking out of his pocket, among other things.

"Who's that? And why do..."

He shoots a glance at Rolf, then another at Skitter, then Rolf again. Realization strikes him.

He pulls a mace from his belt.


T & H

Tiffany opens the door. The room appears to be mostly bare, apart from three things. First, the whole floor is covered with straw, various plants, and other soft materials. Secondly, there is some kind of pedestal on the far side of the room, on top of which is a glass case, the kind relics are stored in. You can't see it's contents from here. Thirdly, she sees a rather large cat. It's surrounded by a litter of 4 cubs, roughly the size of lynxes. The cubs are growling and mewing at their mother in fear. You see a collar on the mother's neck, with the letter "L" stamped on a large medal hanging from it. The mother yawns, half asleep, and turns it's gaze towards you.

You notice at this point that the door isn't shutting properly: The damage to the lock must have caused it.

(The more you know!)
Ramsus 19th Jul 2012, 4:02 PM edit delete reply
"Pretty daft yes. There are necromancers running around your town while you lay in bed and you accuse people who woke you up of being thieveses. What kind of thief does that?"
Kris_The_Guest 19th Jul 2012, 4:02 PM edit delete reply

Tiffany's gaze softened, seeing the cats. "Awwww." She cooed, crouching down. "It's okay, lil' ones. I'm not going to hurt you." She was speaking like she was talking to a baby.
Bronymous 19th Jul 2012, 4:03 PM edit delete reply
"Oh." Horizon relaxes, seeing the lioness seems to be pacified. "Well that was a bust. Wonder what's over there." he remarks, motioning to the pedestal. "Watch the door," he says as he cautiously moves across the room. Pausing, he added, "And the Lion."

Horizon does something stupidly dangerous, take 3. Ready go.
Zarhon 19th Jul 2012, 4:08 PM edit delete reply
Well, actually, that's a Dire Lion. I chose the liger pics due to it's size and cause I couldn't find any appropriate pictures of a Dire Lion.

Here's a Dire Bear from the monster manual. Yeah. Apply that to a lion. That's what Tiffany & Horizon are looking at.
Kris_The_Guest 19th Jul 2012, 4:11 PM edit delete reply
Ohhhh. Well, it's still cute.
Lyntermas 19th Jul 2012, 4:17 PM edit delete reply
Rolf dropped the cudgel and put his hands up in the air (all the better to cast a sleep spell if this doesn't work).

"Sir, I assure you, we wouldn't be waking you up if we were trying to steal something. There is a grave threat outside these walls, and we need your strength working against them, not us. We're friends with one of the clerics and the prop wizard outside, they can vouch for us. We believe that there is a cultist hiding somewhere in the temple, and we didn't know if you were him or not. That's why I was holding the cudgel. As for Skitter...he tends to be a bit grabby, I'm afraid. He will give back the chalice, I promise. Now put the mace down and let's discuss this like adults."

(Roll for Diplomacy.)

Well, that's we get for stealing everything but the kitchen sink, I guess.
Also, is that a human in that picture with the Dire Bear? Cause if it is, that's one BIG kitty.
Bronymous 19th Jul 2012, 4:21 PM edit delete reply
Ha. Dummy.

That's why I just kill people.
Zarhon 19th Jul 2012, 4:29 PM edit delete reply
The lioness, seeing Horizon approaching her and the pedestal, quickly sits upright and growls very threateningly. Her cubs quickly move behind her. She's watching your weapons carefully. She looks war-torn: There are a few scars on her sides and paws, and her ear is slightly cut. Now that she's out of the way, you see what's inside the relic box: It's a skeletal hand.

Edit: moved post. Rest updating tommorow.
Lyntermas 19th Jul 2012, 4:35 PM edit delete reply
Yeah, that lioness ain't going down easy. Maybe you should just step away for a bit. Maybe if you come back later, it'll just go back to sleep spell.

I mean sleep. Wh-what else could I have meant?
Bronymous 19th Jul 2012, 4:44 PM edit delete reply
Because we're big on magic over here in "Bash-literally-everything" Team.

It's ok, I got this.
Bronymous 19th Jul 2012, 4:39 PM edit delete reply
Horizon paused again. Putting together the Lion's reaction with it's scars, he slowly sheathe's his weapons, hoping to relax her again. He takes a quick look back to Tiffany, before moving again, slowly and deliberately, around the edge of the room towards the pedestal.

In this vulnerable position, Horizon began to feel the closest thing to fear he had experienced in a long time. Under his helmet, he held his breath, sweating, and praying to whatever god would listen that the lion would remain calm. He also silently willed Tiffany to be ready and willing to strike her "lil' ones'" mother. He also silently decided not to bet on it."
Ramsus 19th Jul 2012, 4:44 PM edit delete reply
Mount it!
Ramsus 19th Jul 2012, 4:44 PM edit delete reply
There goes my bluff that we needed the gold for a ritual. *snaps fingers*
Lyntermas 19th Jul 2012, 4:48 PM edit delete reply
Note that I only said that you would return the chalice. I'm sure Skitter has perfected the art of "I've emptied my pockets, honest".
Bronymous 19th Jul 2012, 5:53 PM edit delete reply
I'm not "mounting" anything. That's gross. You're gross.

Also, you two try not to die, I may need some help with this one.
Kris_The_Guest 19th Jul 2012, 5:57 PM edit delete reply
I think he means to get on her back and ride it like a bull, not...have sexual intercourse with it.
Bronymous 19th Jul 2012, 6:09 PM edit delete reply
Oh, gee, thanks.

*I know what he meant*
Lyntermas 19th Jul 2012, 6:32 PM edit delete reply
I just realized that my Diplomacy and your Bluff aren't mutually exclusive, Ramsus.

Templar: I...I see you are at least surrendering. Very well. I'll take back the valuables you stole, creature.
Skitter: Very well, Skitter sorry. I'll go back and tell cleric we can't do ritual after all.
Templar: Ritual?
Skitter: Yeah, cleric was making ritual to help bless weapon guys so they could fight undead better. Said they needed shiny stuff, but they say it fancier. What did they say, wizard-guy?
Rolf:...They needed metallic components?
Skitter: Yeah, right. Metallic combos. So I went around taking all the metal stuff I could find.
Rolf: And I said, "Wait, Skitter. Someone could see us and get the wrong idea. We should get permission from someone inside first."
Skitter: Oh, how I should have listened to you. But now I have to go back out and tell cleric that Mr. mace-man won't let us do the ritual. Oh well, I'm sure he'll understand and not have you pull midnight shift here while all your friends save the city.
Templar: Now wait a minute. I'm dreadfully sorry about this. I, uh, give you permission to use the materials acquired.
Lyntermas 19th Jul 2012, 6:38 PM edit delete reply
Well, Horizon is a ranger. He could convince the lioness to be his animal companion or something. Use Wild Empathy (it's probably trained, so it should be easier).
Kris_The_Guest 19th Jul 2012, 6:45 PM edit delete reply
That would be awesome. And Skitter could ride on her. She could be Skitter's mount on the side when she's not fighting.
Bronymous 19th Jul 2012, 7:00 PM edit delete reply
She could be my mount. She is the size of a shed.
Kris_The_Guest 19th Jul 2012, 7:03 PM edit delete reply
Awww. Well maybe one of the kittens could be his mount.
Ramsus 19th Jul 2012, 7:04 PM edit delete reply
Yes, and you could be my mount. What? Technically you are Medium and I am Small. So we could have a Kobold riding a Sociopath riding a Lion. It makes perfect sense and all the poor villagers would flee in terror/brain hurt.
Bronymous 19th Jul 2012, 7:14 PM edit delete reply
You know damn well if Skitter was going to ride someone it would be Tiff.

Or Rolf.

Probably Rolf.
Ramsus 19th Jul 2012, 7:19 PM edit delete reply
It's kinda a stretch to call a Kobold and pointy hat.
Bronymous 19th Jul 2012, 7:34 PM edit delete reply
Yeah it... what?
Lyntermas 19th Jul 2012, 7:37 PM edit delete reply
I believe he meant it would be a stretch to claim a kobold on my head was just a pointy hat. Not to mention one of Rolf's big deals is that he doesn't want to look like a traditional "wizard" since everyone would know his capabilities (the templar would not be calmed down about me dropping my cudgel).

I've got some more filler backstory for Rolf. Anyone interested?
Ramsus 19th Jul 2012, 7:46 PM edit delete reply
Lyntermas 19th Jul 2012, 7:52 PM edit delete reply
Okay, this is a long one, so this'll be in a few posts.

It was shaping up to be a regular night at the tavern. The Magic Academy kids were on one side, Rolf and his Thieves’ Guild friends were on the table (and by the decree of the bartender, never the twain were to meet). Then in walked a band of adventurers, looking for drink and some information about some quest or other. A fighter, a mage, a rogue, and a cleric; all looking rather formidable in their gear. As the cleric went around asking the townfolk if they had heard of the Diamond of somewhere or other, and the rogue went over to cheat at cards, the wizard and fighter sat down at an empty table. Rolf got two pints of beer and brought it over to them.

“Well, thank you kindly, son,” said the wizard, stroking his grey beard. “So what can we do for you? Cat got lost? Need ol’ Brutus to scare some punk trying to steal your girl?” he asked, nodding toward the fighter.

Rolf smiled, “I don’t have a cat, and I wish I HAD a girl to get stolen. Actually, I was wondering what adventuring was like. I’m currently apprenticed to a High Wizard, but…well, it seems my education is ending but the chores continue at the same rate. So I was wondering if you would recommend what you do for a living. The bards certainly seem to make it sound exciting and rewarding.”

The wizard frowned. “Bards are paid to entertain, son, not necessarily inform. The adventuring business ain’t all loot and fame. There’s days of boring travel, working with unsavory individuals, and of course, the threat of death looming at every turn, from the dungeons you go searching in, to the people you pissed off along the way. I had to study magic for 30 years before I felt confident to go outside looking for trouble. I suggest you keep to your studies, and avoid dreams of wealth and glory that end up getting you killed.”
Lyntermas 19th Jul 2012, 7:54 PM edit delete reply
The wizard stood up and went over to the cleric to discuss what rumors they heard. Rolf sulked in his chair. Brutus tried to cheer him up. “Oh, don’t be like that. Good things are sure to come to you if you work hard for your dreams.”

“For 30 years? I don’t want to spend the rest of my life in a tower, I want to DO things. I already know a few spells, can’t I learn more as I travel?”

“Draco said that the higher-class spells take years of study to master, to get the concentration and casting down.” Then Brutus muttered, “He didn’t say that after the goblins, though.”

Rolf looked up. “Goblins?”

Brutus froze, as if he let some secret slip. He started to make some excuse, but then he stopped. He looked around, then leaned in toward Rolf. “Alright, you didn’t hear this from me. But…something strange happens to people when they become adventurers. They…they grow stronger.”

Rolf raised an eyebrow. “Fighting monsters would do that, I suppose.”

“No, not like that,” Brutus said. “Look, my father was a blacksmith, I’d been learning how to use a sword my whole childhood. I got stronger the old fashioned way: lots of practice and sweat. Eventually, I decided to make my fortune on the road. I met up with these guys about a year and a half ago, and decided to form an adventuring party. We were all new at it, so we started off doing odd jobs for people. Our first big mission was trying to clear out some goblin bandits who had blockaded the road. It was a tough job, but we eventually got it done. We went back to town, got our reward, and went to sleep. And when we awoke we were…different."
Lyntermas 19th Jul 2012, 7:55 PM edit delete reply
Rolf leaned in. “What do you mean different?”

“I felt stronger. Not a whole lot, but it was noticeable. I saw the wizard practicing a lightning spell that I hadn’t seen him cast yesterday. When I asked him about it, he brushed me off. The rogue managed to unlock a puzzle box that had stumped her since she was a child. And I…I knew how to duel wield. Now I’m not saying that “I finally perfected the dual wielding practice I’d been working on.” I had picked up a sword at the goblin camp the day before, and when I tried using it at the same time as my own sword, I was tripping all over myself. But that morning, I picked them both up and it just felt…natural. Like I’d been doing it all my life.
As we kept on adventuring, we’d keep getting more and more of these “boosts”. The intervals between them started getting further apart, and we figured out that the best way to get the boost to happen was to kill tougher guys and do quests. And we mean ANY quests. Draco wasn’t kidding about finding lost cats, doing that was the only thing we did the day before we got another boost. I even heard Draco say that he’s learned more magic in the past few months than he did in all his years of study.”

Rolf was intrigued. “But..but that doesn’t make sense. Why do these boosts happen? And why only to adventurers?”

“Who knows? Simon the cleric thinks that it’s a reward from his god for doing good works. Draco believes that we’re somehow bringing “order to the cosmos” and that we’re benefitting from it. Cathy the rouge thinks it’s got something to do with “self-actualization.” All I know is that we’re getting stronger stupid fast, and there doesn’t seem to be any real stopping point unless we give up adventuring all together.”
Lyntermas 19th Jul 2012, 7:56 PM edit delete reply
“Hey Brutus,” yelled Cathy, “you coming or what?” The adventuring party was gathered by the door. Brutus finished off his drink and said to Rolf, “Yeah, there’s a lot of risk, but if you can keep up with it, you’d become a master wizard in no time. Think about it.”

As Brutus headed off with the others, Rolf contemplated what he’d been told. The story seemed far-fetched, but Brutus had seemed honest about it all. But if there was a “fast-track” to power like that, why didn’t more people use it? Because there was a good chance you’d get killed, of course. Still, he knew that adventurers could sometimes be several times stronger than even the town guards. And he remembered some of the bard’s tales telling of adventurers with great abilities, becoming almost gods among men.

He’d have to do a bit more research on this.

Bronymous 19th Jul 2012, 7:54 PM edit delete reply
yeah. Ive been meaning to write out mine.

But you know. Lazy.

edit: Wow, practically slamming your face into the fourth wall there, huh? You and Tiffany must be related.
Lyntermas 19th Jul 2012, 8:31 PM edit delete reply
Scraping it, yes,but it's not at overt as, say, Order of the Stick. And there's no proof that Rolf really believes Brutus' story at this point.

And if Tiffany and Rolf were related, that would make things REAL awkward at this point.
Kris_The_Guest 19th Jul 2012, 8:33 PM edit delete reply
Yeah, that would be awkward and slightly incesty.
Bronymous 19th Jul 2012, 8:40 PM edit delete reply
It's not incest until you fuck. And besides, if you two don't know you're related, then there's nothing to feel awkward about, except for Tiffany's lack of knowledge in such matters. That can wait until after you figure it out, after you make out.

Star Wars or Euro Trip. Your call.
Ramsus 19th Jul 2012, 8:52 PM edit delete reply

That was oddly meta, wasn't expecting that at all.
Zarhon 20th Jul 2012, 6:26 AM edit delete reply

As you move towards the relic box, the lion shifts its position, placing herself between you and the box, her cubs following. She never takes her gaze off you, and growls progressively louder with every movement you make, standing almost perfectly still.


Oh my God those cubs are utterly adorable. Their eyes are like little buttons. Their mother is... less adorable, but still rather huggable. Hmmm. She looks familiar.


Diplomacy -> 2 + 8 = 10

He eyes you suspiciously, still holding his mace.

"While your message sounds dire indeed, I still don't trust you, the kobold even less. Tell your friend to empty his pockets and surrender any weapons he might have. Then we'll go outside and see if you're telling the truth. And don't try anything stupid."
Kris_The_Guest 20th Jul 2012, 7:15 AM edit delete reply
"Ms. Muffin?" Tiffany whistled.

If this works, I'll laugh.
Lyntermas 20th Jul 2012, 7:44 AM edit delete reply
I'd think the lioness' name would start with an L, based off of her collar. You might try rolling Perception on her, Tiffany.

Rolf slowly lowered his arms. "Thank you for taking the time to listen. The leader of the necromancers was a lich named Zilean. They had set explosives at the bar and near the stage which could emit a gas that could turn the dead into, well, undead. We managed to stop the bomb near the stage from blowing up, but...some of the gas leaked which caused some undead to wander backstage. We did our best to dispatch the creatures without any casualties, but the backstage area sort of caught on fire, sorry about that. I'll take you backstage and you can hear it from the cleric and prop wizard."

He turned to Skitter. "Do as he says, Skitter, and no tricks. I'm sure that he will return your weapon and your ORIGINAL valuables once he sees that our intentions are pure," he said in his "official" voice. Then in a lower tone he said, "Please, trust me on this."

(Don't worry, I have a cunning plan to get our stuff back once the templar hears from the cleric. Let's just say the burden of proof lies with the accuser).

edit: Wait, Tiffany. The tapestry! It's got something to with the tapestry!
Kris_The_Guest 20th Jul 2012, 8:24 AM edit delete reply
Oh, well okay. I'll go back and look a little bit later. Right now, I'm playing Minecraft.
Lyntermas 20th Jul 2012, 8:34 AM edit delete reply
Zarhon, I sent you a PM that should work as long as Skitter plays along. I've got a few things to do today, so I'll see you later.
Ramsus 20th Jul 2012, 10:25 AM edit delete reply
"We don't have time for this. People are dying and another horror could be unleashed in here at any moment.

And there's just no way in the hells I'm surrendering my weapon every time we run into a doddering old fool who is probably so senile he'll forget what we were doing in two minutes, decree me an abomination to whatever church this is, and then attack me and I'm left with no way to defend myself. No, you can sit here and play nurse to this useless gasbag if you want but, I'm going to do what we came here to do."

Just before teleporting into the next room Skitter says to the cleric, "You can go check with people outside yourself. Though it'll probably take you a day just to shuffle your lazybones out the door."

(Yup, I know it was totally the wrong way to handle it but, Skitter has a point. We can't come in and leave every time we encounter someone.)
Bronymous 20th Jul 2012, 11:00 AM edit delete reply
Damn right Skitter. If Horizon was there he'd think about giving you a high five.

BTW, the lions name is Lizzie, guys. Lizzie. Of course neither of us know that.

As the lion grew angrier and angrier, Horizon stopped again. His sense of self preservation kicked in, and he realized that, though interesting, a skeletal hand in a box was not worth provoking a monstrous cat over. He was about to start edging back to the door, when his sense of self preservation took a swift blow to the back of the head, courtesy his sense of pride. He wasn't about to run from this thing. He turned back to the cat, and took his helmet off once more (something in the back of his mind made a mental note to stop doing that, because it only meant he was about to do something life-threatening).

Regardless, he put the helmet down, and then stared into the huge cat's eyes. He made sure to show no fear or apprehension. He wore the determined look of a master who was greatly displeased with a student, or a pet. He drew his scimitar and kukri, making a show of it. As the Lion's growling peaked, he slammed his scimitar against the wall in an ear-shattering clang, and then spoke. "Be QUIET, you overgrown housecat! Go sit in the corner, and be still, or I will give you a fresh set of scars to complain about!" A hint of menace graced his voice, and he strode confidently back towards the case, never breaking eye contact.

Dominance is the operative concept here. Intimidate check, make that cat back down from a superior being. Show no fear, and it cannot help but be afraid of you.

That, or I'm about to eat it. Hard.
Ramsus 20th Jul 2012, 11:03 AM edit delete reply
"What, there's no way you can eat all that cat. At least share!" so says Skitter. =P
Kris_The_Guest 20th Jul 2012, 11:04 AM edit delete reply

Lucky Aura : You're so dead.
Bronymous 20th Jul 2012, 11:11 AM edit delete reply
See? Ramsus knows how a play on words works. But to clarify for anyone who may have been confused by that: When I said Eat It, I meant quite possibly get pawed across the room and then pounced on. So right now I need little miss Kitties to back me up here.
Lyntermas 20th Jul 2012, 1:27 PM edit delete reply
Well, my PM to Zarhon can now be disregarded. Oh, well.

Rolf watched as Skitter vanished. Dang it all, he thought. I could have tried to make the templar PROVE we had taken that stuff, given that the items were taken from a locked room. Still, Skitter had a point. The templar could prove to be more of a hindrance than a help at this point. Alright, it was time for plan B.

He didn't like using enchantments, but there was one that he had the least doubts using. The main trick for the lower level spells was working them into a sentence.

He turned to the templar. "I am dreadfully sorry for all of this. I'm sure this has been rather stressful for you, so why don't you go back to sleep?

(Roll for Sleep spell).
Bronymous 20th Jul 2012, 1:31 PM edit delete reply
Thought that might happen. lol
Zarhon 20th Jul 2012, 1:42 PM edit delete reply

You cast a quick glance at the tapestry that was covering the door.

Perception -> 13

Looking at the tapestry a bit closely, you notice that the proportions of the lion on the tapestry are unusually large, and there are details of scars on it, as well as what looks like a necklace around it's neck.


Horizon -> 9

She is not amused. She roars back at you.

Lizzie -> Nat20 (Hooooooo boy)


Skitter & Rolf

The templar, clearly furious, opens his mouth to speak.

Before he can do so, a monstrous roar emanates in the distance, somewhere to your right. The room shakes for a few seconds, as though from a minor tremor.

There is brief, awkward silence as Rolf and the paladin stare at each other.

Skitter slowly peeks back out of his room.

Skitter: "What was th-"

At the same time, another door opens. Out of it comes a man in a purple robe, scrambling, his face slightly pale. He is followed by another, carrying a bag.

Cultist #1: "...hurry you idiot!"
Cultist #2: "But we left the..."
Cultist #1: "To rot with that! We're leaving! I'd rather risk the Master than-"

It takes them a moment to realize that Rolf, Skitter and the Paladin are all staring at them. They slowly and shakily pull out daggers.

The paladin looks at him, then turns to Rolf.

"Deal with them and I'll pretend I didn't hear what that Kobold said. Try not to kill them, since this is a sacred place."

He then turns and runs straight for the stained glass door.

H & T

You are now both in the hallway. This is horizon's current mental state, as played by Twilight Sparkle. Which way do you wish to run in?

Lyntermas 20th Jul 2012, 1:53 PM edit delete reply
...What in the hells were Horizon and Tiffany doing? That roar was loud enough to drown out Rolf's attempt at a sleep spell. Rolf shook his head. At least the cultists were out and the templar wasn't about to crush him into paste.

He whispered at Skitter, "Get your shadows ready to restrain them if this doesn't work. We need them alive for questioning." He then turned to the cultists and smiled. "Why hello there. You must be here for the tour. This is the dormitories, where the clerics are able to do their studies and SLEEP .

(Roll for Sleep spell).
Zarhon 20th Jul 2012, 2:17 PM edit delete reply

Sleep -> nat1

You release your sleep spell. As it flies towards one of the cultists, a door, positioned between you and the cultists suddenly opens. A young man in a yellow robe walks out.

"By all that is divine, what's that noise?! Can't a brother have a proper rest without-"

Having walked right into its way, the sleep spell hits him. He falls onto the floor, face first, and starts snoring loudly. Whoops. Good thing there was a thick rug there.
Bronymous 20th Jul 2012, 2:18 PM edit delete reply
Meh. Could be worse. I could be bleeding out from a savage paw swipe. I can work with this.

Well Fuck. That didn't work. As the lion's roar came to a thunderous close, Horizon stood, unfazed, expression unchanged. After a second more of staredown, he spoke, "Well then. You make an excellent point, and we will be going now." And with a speed only experienced by the most frightened of small animals, he turned and ran back out the door, grabbing his helmet as he passed. He turned, and with a flurry he blew past Tiffany ("Tiffwegottagofollowme!") into the hallway- before skidding to a stop at the hallway's dead end. He turned and ran back the other way to the stained glass door, nearly taking it off of its frame as he flew through it. His momentum was cut short, however, as he ran full bore into a rather perturbed looking man in temple colors.

There, how was that? Also, roll to see if we crash and hit the floor, or if I just truck him and keep going.
Kris_The_Guest 20th Jul 2012, 2:29 PM edit delete reply
Tiffany took a deep breath and looked at the big cat. "Um, I'm sorry about my companion. He has fits of idiocy. I'll just leave you alone with your master's hand now." Tiffany walked out backwards, trying to stay calm and keeping eye contact before following Horizon.

Errrr, I had to do a power point on how to keep a dog from attacking.
Zarhon 20th Jul 2012, 2:36 PM edit delete reply
H & T

Roll -> 2

Horizon crashes into the paladin, both of them fall to the ground. He begins to speak.

Paladin: "Who in blazes are y-"

A loud roar is heard behind you, followed by a loud metallic sound, as the door you just went through flies off its hinges. A gargantuant lion head pokes through the opening, having slight difficulties passing through the opening, ill-fit for her frame.

Paladin: "Ah. So you're the ones that pissed Lizzie off. Do you have a deathwish of some sort?!"
Kris_The_Guest 20th Jul 2012, 2:42 PM edit delete reply
"I'm sorry but how do we calm her down! We accidentally got her angry." Tiffany asked, very urgently.
Zarhon 20th Jul 2012, 2:48 PM edit delete reply
"Well, I hope you didn't hurt her cubs, or she'll hunt you to the ends of the Earth! If you just pissed her off, I'd suggest you just get the hell away from her sight. She's pretty docile, she doesn't really hurt anyone unless they deserve it, or they smell like the undead. I'll try to calm her down, just get away from her! I'd suggest hiding in the attic, the stairs are across the hall, at the left passage!"
Kris_The_Guest 20th Jul 2012, 3:06 PM edit delete reply
"Okay, thank you!" Tiffany grabbed Horizon and started running.
Ramsus 20th Jul 2012, 3:11 PM edit delete reply
Skitter shrugs, looks at Rolf and says, "I'll take the one on the right."

He dashes forward and swings his sword around in an arc. At the end of the arc he makes a short circular motion and pulls it back towards him as the tries to loop his opponent's shadow around his ankle and pull him closer. (*roll* 15).
Lyntermas 20th Jul 2012, 3:18 PM edit delete reply
Rolf was stunned for a moment. Why did this keep happening? Skitter's words shook him out of it, though. He picked up his cudgel, put it in his belt, then charged at the cultist on the left.

About halfway to the cultist, he prepared a Grease spell to hit the ground right below the cultist. He would then pull out his cudgel and give the cultist a good solid (but hopefully non-lethal) thwack. It was a solid plan, he thought, assuming reality had stopped conspiring against him for the moment.

(Roll for Grease spell and Cudgel attack.)
Bronymous 20th Jul 2012, 3:26 PM edit delete reply
Question: If the cat is blocking the doorway, how do we get through said doorway, back into the hall, and up the stairs?
Lyntermas 20th Jul 2012, 3:32 PM edit delete reply
Hmm, I think that Lizzie is stuck in the metal door in the hall, not the door from the hall to the sanctuary (which is where I believe you are). So either:
a) the paladin is referring to a different hall accessible to the sanctuary
b) you have to go back into the hall you just left, past the snarling head of the dire lion, and up the stairs.

With your luck, it's probably b.
Zarhon 20th Jul 2012, 3:34 PM edit delete reply
There's more than one way to get to the attic. It's a big attic. One of them is in the main hall (where you are now), as the paladin pointed out. The other is in the hall behind Lizzie.
Bronymous 20th Jul 2012, 3:48 PM edit delete reply
As he was being pulled away by Tiffany, Horizon took the opportunity to make up for his earlier break in bearing- by taunting Lizzie. "Yeah, that's right, ya fat piece of litter! You're lucky, cat! Any other day I would have smacked those whiskers off your dumb face..." Any further attempts to salvage his personal self image were lost as he was dragged around a corner and out of sight.
Kris_The_Guest 20th Jul 2012, 4:21 PM edit delete reply
"Don't push it!"

Bronymous 20th Jul 2012, 4:49 PM edit delete reply
"OK, easy!" Horizon, finally calm, pulled out of her grasp. "But we still shouldn't go up there without backup." He looked around. "Speaking of, shouldn't the other two be around here somewhere? This is near where they came in."
Ramsus 20th Jul 2012, 3:42 PM edit delete reply
Hmm, grease spell + a guy being pulled by his ankle = hilarity.
Lyntermas 20th Jul 2012, 7:32 PM edit delete reply
Will Rolf and Skitter manage to subdue the cultists and get the information before Lizzie rips them to shreds? Will Tiffany tame Lizzie and have her join the party for one last hurrah against the undead? Will Skitter ever find a proper place to store all his phat lootz? And will Rolf ever stop getting critical failures?

Tune in next time for another exciting episode of Campaign: Zilean's Revenge
Kris_The_Guest 20th Jul 2012, 7:42 PM edit delete reply
You forgot, "Will Horizon stop doing stupid and life-threatening stuff?"
Bronymous 20th Jul 2012, 8:12 PM edit delete reply
Only as long as none of you are. Sets him apart: He's a little bit reckless, but when it works, it makes him look much better than the rest of you.
Lyntermas 20th Jul 2012, 8:26 PM edit delete reply
Dang it, now I just thought of a really good Breaking Speech for Horizon to say when Rolf calls him out on that stunt and asks his name. But should I post it now, or wait for the scene to actually happen first?
Bronymous 20th Jul 2012, 8:36 PM edit delete reply
I already have a speech for my intro, that's why I've been waiting for a setup. It's not exactly a "oh hey, by the way" kind of thing.

I may have to tweak it a little to fit with this scenario, now that I think about it, but not much.

Edit: Which means yours gets to be an Alt Script, and you know how we feel about Alt Scripts. Do it.
Lyntermas 20th Jul 2012, 8:39 PM edit delete reply
Oh don't worry. I've got the set-up all planned out. I think it will work. But if you have no objections, I'll just post what came into my head a few minutes ago. Give me a minute.
Lyntermas 20th Jul 2012, 8:58 PM edit delete reply
Alt-script time!

Horizon has just told everyone who he is.

“So that’s who I am. Now to address your primary complaint: what could compel me to do something so “stupid”? Well, that’s simple. I’m going to pull it off one of these days. Now that may not seem like a lot to you, but I know, I KNOW, that one of these stunts is gonna pay off big. And it’ll be glorious to behold. But it’ll never happen if I don’t keep trying.

And that’s why I’ll achieve things you could never dream of. Because I know you, Rolf. I’ve seen how you talk, how you walk, hell, I even paid attention when you were telling us all your spells. All that information got sorted out until I reached only one possible result: You’re a runner. When confronted with a real threat, step 1 is to try and talk them down, and step b is to run like hell. Skitter tells me you even surrendered to that paladin we ran into. Come on, man, even you could have taken him if you really wanted to. But, no, you just folded right up, just like that little drama when you found out that, realistically, you had no real impact on whatever Skitter wanted to do. And somewhere deep down, that’s how you feel all the time. You can’t stop bad stuff from happening, so you just cut your losses and get out.

And the only reason I don’t smack your whiny, cowardly face every time I see you is because that, despite all that you are, you’re still here. With all the zombies, cultists, and other dangers we’ve faced in only the past few hours, you’re still here. You want to save the city, and you’re willing to see it through, even if it means working with people like me. I want you to hold onto that thought.

Because when you’re stuck facing the Big Boss Necro, surrounded by his hordes, and all you got is one Magic Missle, I expect you’re gonna try appealing to his dramatic side, and convince him to let you go so he may face a “true rival” or some other bullshit. But I HOPE that when that day comes, you’ll charge up that Missile in your hand and just punch him dead in the face. And it will be glorious.”
Bronymous 20th Jul 2012, 9:07 PM edit delete reply
A bit light on the swearing, but seems legit.
Jason Shadow 20th Jul 2012, 11:02 PM edit delete reply
Jason Shadow
...Whoa. I just read that speech in Nathan Fillion's voice without even trying.
Ramsus 20th Jul 2012, 11:21 PM edit delete reply
Hmm, if Horizon is voiced by Nathan Fillion, what about the rest of us? (I vote Christopher Walken for Tiffany.)
Lyntermas 20th Jul 2012, 11:36 PM edit delete reply
Great, now I'M reading it in Nathan Fillion's voice.
Kris_The_Guest 21st Jul 2012, 5:26 AM edit delete reply
....*hits Skitter with Tiffany's hammer.* No, bad Skitter! No boy voice for Tiffany!
Lyntermas 21st Jul 2012, 9:25 AM edit delete reply
Let's see if I can compare our team to the characters from Firefly.

Horizon - Mal/Jayne
Tiffany - Kaylee
Skitter - Wash/River
Rolf - Simon
Ramsus 21st Jul 2012, 10:04 AM edit delete reply
So in other words....we have no Face and no Straight Man. Sounds about correct. We're doomed.
Lyntermas 21st Jul 2012, 10:19 AM edit delete reply
That's why Lizzie will be joining us, silly. Her position as High Lioness of the church will be sure to open doors for us. Also, her controlled demeanor will help give this party a calming, rational influence as we go forward.
Bronymous 21st Jul 2012, 11:46 AM edit delete reply
I don't have any idea about any of what you just said at all.

Who is Nathan Fillion, who are those characters, was that an A-Team reference possibly, and why wouldn't you want to be voiced by Christopher Walken?

Also, I met Lizzie. "Calm" and "Rational" are not the best descriptors I would use. More like "paranoid" and "big, dumb, useless animal that doesn't know how to be intimidated properly". And she has kids.
XandZero2 19th Jul 2012, 1:51 PM edit delete reply
Man, that FiD GM gets worked up over everything, but in this case, I can feel for him too. I think AJ really seems to be giving him a hard time.
Cain 19th Jul 2012, 2:31 PM edit delete reply
Well I think the story theme this time should be "Tell about a time you broke the DM"
Destrustor 19th Jul 2012, 4:22 PM edit delete reply
Hay! I suggested that!
Cain 19th Jul 2012, 6:36 PM edit delete reply
Didn't see it, sorry, I have one that is not mine, but if you dare go to and look up Fur Heresy. Ranubis is glad I don't act like that when they throw my plans off.
Destrustor 19th Jul 2012, 6:54 PM edit delete reply
Yeah I guess it wasn't very obvious in the middle of my post.

And that story you linked just makes me sad. Hilariously sad.
PikalaxALT 19th Jul 2012, 4:21 PM edit delete reply
Well, there's three more comics scheduled before the anniversary. I would say get the characters to the dragon's cave by next Thursday, then have Pinkie Pie throw the dragon a party. It'll be just like having somepony throw a party for you.
Ramsus 19th Jul 2012, 4:45 PM edit delete reply
Hah, that's a good point. We split up into the utility team and the beating things team. Probably shouldn't do that next party split. And I say next because that seems to be our MO for anything aside from post encounter chat.
Bronymous 19th Jul 2012, 6:10 PM edit delete reply
And this comment found it's way down here because..
Ramsus 19th Jul 2012, 6:28 PM edit delete reply
I have no idea. As far as I know I replied to your comment. Also, I totally meant mount that way.
Dr. Klaus 19th Jul 2012, 5:43 PM edit delete reply
You know, I'm in the middle of running a campaign where the team striker just tries to kill everything. Eventually, I figured out that you can scare them out of it by letting slip that the NPC is of some rediculous level.
Anyways, if they DO try to go completely off the rails, luckily my campaign is written with about a month of forethought and planning, and I run it with lots of spontaneous encounters to keep them engaged. Of course, in the end, there will be times when I flat-out say, "No, you can't attack the Viceroy." It's a bit of a W.O.G., and could be seen as heavyhanded and railroading by some, but hey, the more they stick to the campaign, the better overall.
masterofgames 19th Jul 2012, 7:08 PM edit delete reply
Hey Stairc, could you share an email address I can use to get in contact with you? It will be a bit more efficient than using the posts here.
Bronymous 19th Jul 2012, 10:34 PM edit delete reply
And then Stairc proceeds to be bombarded with spam from everyone on here. Or at least me.
Stairc 19th Jul 2012, 11:22 PM edit delete reply
Sure thing.

Also, you can post everythin on the Pony Tales forums (excellently created by AlicornPriest and organized by Karilyn). You can find them at

Bronymous 19th Jul 2012, 10:40 PM edit delete reply
OK, so, to pick up a thread from a few days ago: Regarding the Crystal Ponies and Chrystal Empire- Princess Cadance and Shining Armor are its leaders. Canon.
Demonu 20th Jul 2012, 5:43 AM edit delete reply
Now it's just waiting for the grimdark fanfiction where Twilight goes mad with power, takes Cadance and Shining Armor out of the picture and usurp the throne to the Crystal Empire.
Crimson Doom 20th Jul 2012, 6:54 AM edit delete reply
Crimson Doom
Or Pinkamena just plain goes mad and dyes the Crystal Ponies pink with the blood of their rulers.

...I have a sick, sick mind.
Lyntermas 20th Jul 2012, 8:05 AM edit delete reply
Now here's the REAL question: how are Twilight and her friends going to save the Crystal ponies with what is essentially a Renaissance fair?
Demonu 20th Jul 2012, 8:26 AM edit delete reply
Have you ever been to a Renaissance fair?
Masterweaver 20th Jul 2012, 8:26 AM edit delete reply
I interpret it as "Crystal ponies were in stasis until Cadance found them, and now ponies want to introduce them to the modern world without inducing panic." I also expect there to be shenanigans.
Bronymous 20th Jul 2012, 10:40 AM edit delete reply
"Those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it" seems relevant. I don't think the Chrystal Ponies are in any serious danger other than their culture falling apart.

Which, then again, is pretty serious stuff. It's probably nothing.
PrincessSpectra 20th Jul 2012, 8:23 AM edit delete reply
I'd very much like to register at the pony tales forum, but it absolutely refuses to accept the captcha as I'm entering it, I've already searched their help, cleared my cache and made sure I'm entering in all lowercase (the only 2 pieces of advice they have there), and it still absolutely does not work. Is anyone else having this issue?
Demonu 20th Jul 2012, 8:27 AM edit delete reply
Start over again and get another captcha.
PrincessSpectra 20th Jul 2012, 8:35 AM edit delete reply
Edit: Nevermind, I finally got it to work by using internet explorer *shudder* and entering it exactly as it appeared, rather than in all lowercase like the forum help claimed... X_X
Vulpixel 20th Jul 2012, 2:00 PM edit delete reply
Achievement unlocked, 150 comix!
Prize: forum

way to go
damon 8th Aug 2012, 8:04 PM edit delete reply
I like using my voice for the DM!
J-Kwez 8th Aug 2012, 10:23 PM edit delete reply
This is when a heartfelt DM "Shaddap" comes into play. Rule of cool and all that.