Page 155 - Unshakeable Doubt

31st Jul 2012, 6:00 AM in Dragonshy
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Unshakeable Doubt
Average Rating: 5 (4 votes)
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Author Notes:

Newbiespud 31st Jul 2012, 6:00 AM edit delete
Thank you to all who left kind words on the last comic. It means quite a bit to me.

Anyway, enough ego boosting. Let's start the second year off with some serious storytelling. In the comments, tell a story about being in a bad situation but finding a way to turn it in your favor.

Notice: Guest comic submissions are open! Guidelines here. Deadline: January 27th, 2023.



Jellybean 31st Jul 2012, 6:11 AM edit delete reply
Played in a campaign as a bard. Got stuck with a cursed sword: every fight that began it showed up in my hand. Sold it in a town we were passing through. The DM thought he'd put a fast one on me by having it STILL show up in my hand at the next fight. That thing became one of our main sources of income in any town where we didn't care about showing our faces again.

Which, admittedly, bit us in the butt a few times, But c'mon, it was hilarious.
Crimson Doom 31st Jul 2012, 6:13 AM edit delete reply
Crimson Doom
Hahaha! Way to use a cursed sword! I'll have to remember that.

Unfortunately, I have no stories today. XP

Edit: Hey, I got second post, though.
Chakat Firepaw 31st Jul 2012, 1:04 PM edit delete reply
It's actually an old trick.

Although the more common variant is based around the wielder being skilled enough to put up with any penalty from the cursed sword. The 'curse' lets you walk into a place totally unarmed, but the instant a fight starts....
Digo 31st Jul 2012, 6:15 AM edit delete reply
Ohhh, nice turnabout on the DM there.
Well played. :D
Innisa 31st Jul 2012, 6:36 AM edit delete reply
Oh, that is beautiful. The best source of income ever!
Zuche 31st Jul 2012, 6:58 AM edit delete reply
well played.

It's been awhile since I've played with cursed weapons, so here's a question: if the weapon keeps returning to your hand, does that mean you can throw it and it will automatically come back at the start of your next turn? That doesn't mean anything in 4th Edition, but it would be a way to get a cheap returning weapon property in any previous edition.
Crimson Doom 31st Jul 2012, 7:00 AM edit delete reply
Crimson Doom
Depends on the duration of time before the sword comes back. If it happens after six seconds, congrats, the DM has handed you something useless, because there's no way you can sell that. But in that case, yes, the sword would come back. Otherwise, no, since a round equals six seconds ish.
Jellybean 31st Jul 2012, 7:01 AM edit delete reply
I couldn't drop it if I was fighting. OUTSIDE of fighting, I was fine.
Zuche 31st Jul 2012, 9:41 AM edit delete reply
Ah, very good. Still, I'm partial to any cursed item that carries a bit of good along with the bad. The 4E version of the cursed berserking sword, for example, does better than average critical hit damage, but requires you to take opportunity attacks against any creature that would provoke one if it was your enemy, even if it's your ally. That's barely an inconvenience most of the time, but those other times can hurt.
McBehrer 31st Jul 2012, 11:05 AM edit delete reply
one cursed item we picked up in our PF campaign: a ring of +6 INT and +4 WIS. The only downside was that once you put it on, you could never use that hand again.

Our alchemist's reply: "You know... I THINK I can grow an extra hand."
DanielLC 31st Jul 2012, 11:23 AM edit delete reply
Just use a Hand of Glory. Then again, your DM might declare that you can no longer use that neck again, at which point you stop being able to breathe.
McBehrer 31st Jul 2012, 12:36 PM edit delete reply
we were level 1 at the time. No way we could afford a Hand of Glory.

Although that WAS my idea.
Raxon 31st Jul 2012, 11:55 AM edit delete reply
Combine that with a take twenty on disguise checks, and you could make an even bigger fortune by selling it to half the population.
Parchment Scroll 2nd Aug 2012, 3:42 PM edit delete reply
I rarely allow take 20 on contested rolls.
kriss1989 31st Jul 2012, 6:17 PM edit delete reply
This is why if I'm making a cursed item, I make it REALLY cursed or Mixed Bag cured. As some examples:

That cursed -2 Great Sword? Yeah, you can't drop it, auto equips in combat, and it's damage is calculated as if it were a dagger. You still need to wield it two handed though, but you don't apply 1.5x STR bonus.

That +2 Axiomatic Sword? Well whoever wields it is blind while doing so. If you have the blind fighting feat your at least have fewer penalties. Why blindness? Because justice is blind.

Cloak of the Manta that turns your skin neon blue. Permanently. And if you cure yourself of the curse the cloak is destroyed.
Digo 31st Jul 2012, 6:13 AM edit delete reply
Seraphi was my rogue-cleric character in an Oriental Adventure game. She was basically from the west, having come visit for adventure and hooked up with a party who was trying to track down the heir to the throne of a prominant nation before war broke out.

The clues led to a slavery ring, but getting into their business wasn't healthy for us (slavery being legal and they frankly had bigger hit dice). My character had an idea! We'll pretend the ranger sells me into slavery, then the party follows the raft to where they transport me, and while i'm in the inside, I'll dig for info before the party breaks me out.

I get sold down river and the party promtpy bails on the plan, thus I get shipped to a seedy town and put in a cage with other slaves to be sold at dawn. D:
I did learn, however, that there was a prominant evil wizard who knows about the heir and has spent money tracking her down. This wizard is also into slave purchases because they don't last long in his care. Uh...

Dawn comes and I'm put on stage to be sold. While most slaves stand there like sad puppies, I decided to draw a scene and rescue myself! I had a Perform Dance skill (don't ask why) and used it to put on a crazy floor show.
During my performance, a big crowd gathered and I made a bad scene of it, getting the guards to try and stop me from such a frakas. all the while though, I wanted them to be holding me back so I could pick pocket the keys for my shackles.

I saw the evil wizard in question, and advertised myself as an exotic dancer and that no self-respecting spell caster goes without one. XD
He never saw such an eccentric slave so he paid top dollar for me and took me home-- where I unshackled myself with the key and turned on him demanding answers on what he knew about the heir I was looking for.

...and then the party showed up at the door to rescue me. 9_9
Zuche 31st Jul 2012, 6:44 AM edit delete reply
It's beginning to sound like that's par for the course for you. Still, I'm kind of suprised that you didn't try to provoke a slave riot during your risky performance.

Seriously, it could have gone down in history as the Dance Chance Revolution.
Digo 31st Jul 2012, 6:51 AM edit delete reply
*Slowclap.gif* I love a good bad pun.

As for par, yeah it does turn out that way a lot, doesn't it? The backup GM in my group has mentioned that the majority of our players tend to prefer "I before Team" style of characters whereas I'm more team-oriented. I guess that explains why if a back-stabbing-under-the-bus goes down, I'm usually the first victim. :)
Zuche 31st Jul 2012, 7:20 AM edit delete reply
Back in the 80s, one of the local groups consisted of nothing but chaotic evil backstabbers... with one exception. That one guy was their cleric, who spent each session patiently repatching the team enough to carry on with looting other opponents. As he settled on just enough loot to do that job adequately, the others left him alone.

Eventually, the backstabbing and treachery left them ill-equipped when a particularly dangerous villain cornered them at a very inconvenient moment. At a loss for how else to survive, they were immediately grateful when the cleric had a plan for bribing their way out. It would cost them most of their best gear, but at least they'd live to fight another day, right?

The cleric walked out to their enemy and began negotiations by handing over some of the gear. The other players were confused when he then received a sack full of coins in return.

It was only when the cleric said, "They're all yours," that they realized he'd spent the whole campaign holding out for someone to offer enough of a bounty to sell the others out.
Crimson Doom 31st Jul 2012, 7:31 AM edit delete reply
Crimson Doom
Smart cleric! I'm impressed. I take it a near TPK ensued?
Digo 31st Jul 2012, 7:54 AM edit delete reply
Agreed! That is a really smart cleric. A TPK would be fitting, no?
Zuche 31st Jul 2012, 9:29 AM edit delete reply
Yeah, the cleric was the only survivor. I understand the other players got a good laugh out of it too.
The Guest 31st Jul 2012, 9:23 AM edit delete reply
Looks like the cleric left them... without a prayer.
Lyntermas 31st Jul 2012, 9:33 AM edit delete reply
*puts on sunglasses* YEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHH!

edit: Zuche, this is all you really need to know.
Zuche 31st Jul 2012, 9:46 AM edit delete reply
...One day, I'm going to have to watch that show.
Zuche 31st Jul 2012, 11:01 AM edit delete reply
I'm pretty sure I don't need to click that link. The omnipresent reference is enough.
Rusty 31st Jul 2012, 1:18 PM edit delete reply
Reading about your character putting on a dance show... Was his name Josephus by any chance?
Zarhon 31st Jul 2012, 7:23 AM edit delete reply
I'm pretty sure the last two fights of our last pony tales session would count. Both started horrendously and with no easy way through. But ended with us wrecking the fights. I'd describe it, but the DM asked not to spoil. :)

Also, the players from my comments-post campaign getting out unscathed from an attack of "Kill it with fire" class aberrations.
Lyntermas 31st Jul 2012, 8:04 AM edit delete reply
And, if I'm lucky, one of the cultists ran off, but left a convenient blood trail behind him potentially leading to his hideout.

I must confess we got lucky with the aberrations. But it's not like there's a whole mob of them downtown that used to be high-level adventurers or anything....Oh. Yeah, we need to call for reinforcements.

Also, everyone, Zarhon left one more update on the previous page. Reply there, next update here.
Ramsus 31st Jul 2012, 10:44 AM edit delete reply
You're welcome! =)
Demonu 31st Jul 2012, 12:02 PM edit delete reply
If you're talking about last Saturday, the write-ups are public knowledge but I'll post the cliff notes here:

Encounter 1 - 6 enemies attack the carriage of the PC's
- 3 enemies incinerated by fire, 2 lightninged to ash and bones broken of the last by throwing rocks at it.
- carriage aflame, doused and patched up
- no damage to the PC's

Encounter 2 - 15 enemies vs the PC's. As an added bonus, the party is dressed as Batstallion, a Mexican, a changeling, Tuxedo Mask and Roxis Rosenkrantz.
- 5 enemies decapitated by serving plate
- 6 killed by means of knife to the head
- 4 killed in various ways
- no damage to the PC's

As of stories of my own to fit the theme, I'll have to go russle through my notes for that.
Philadelphus 31st Jul 2012, 2:40 PM edit delete reply
I guess I should actually post Pony Team Bravo's session 1 write-up, shouldn't I?

[url=""]Session 1: Pony Team Bravo, Go![url]

And now I can get to work finishing the second session write-up...
Philadelphus 31st Jul 2012, 3:57 PM edit delete reply
Alright, finally went about getting a ComicFury account so I could edit my posts if necessary. And get an avatar. Hopefully this link will work better than the last one:

Pony Team Bravo, Go!

@Demonu: Well, there might have been some damage to the PC's if those minions had ever actually attacked – I very quickly learned that my combat talents are almost useless against a horde of enemies that never attack.
Oh, wait, I shouldn't have revealed that, should I?
Zarhon 1st Aug 2012, 2:17 AM edit delete reply
Yeah, had a similar problem as you, Phil. Luckily, I had a few support abilites and channel mind to compensate. Shouldn't be a problem for next session though. :3

Here's my character sheet, since its missing in that link.

I was responsible for the rock throw (it hit a few allies though), as well as the pentakill with serving plates. Fun times.
kriss1989 31st Jul 2012, 6:29 PM edit delete reply
Is Brock Samson on your team or something?
Videocrazy 1st Aug 2012, 2:22 AM edit delete reply
It's actually "Roxis" Rosenkrantz.
Karilyn 31st Jul 2012, 3:39 PM edit delete reply
Team Inky Quill's last two fights in Pony Tales were really nasty too, but of our own free will.

"Tournament? With a 5v5 format? Hey I have a great idea! Let's enter the tournament and only have two players in each round! GENIUS! What could go wrong?"
Dr Blight 1st Aug 2012, 1:06 PM edit delete reply
So, is there a way to get in on one of these Pony Tales games? I've never played a RPG like these before but it seems really interesting.
Dr Blight 1st Aug 2012, 1:28 PM edit delete reply
Dr Blight
Sorry for the double post. I made an account!
Demonu 1st Aug 2012, 2:17 PM edit delete reply
I'm currently stacked full in both groups but I'm certain there are others who are running a game as well. Of course, you're always free to spectate.

Check here for everything Pony Tales related:
Dr Blight 1st Aug 2012, 2:20 PM edit delete reply
Dr Blight
I can spectate? how do I do that?
Demonu 1st Aug 2012, 9:22 PM edit delete reply
You need Skype and a Skypename so I can add you in the group. I running games on Friday and Saturday and Dan's running one on Wednesday usually.
Kyouhen 31st Jul 2012, 8:10 AM edit delete reply
Here's a good story:

So our DM has issues killing us. We keep getting out of situations we aren't supposed to get out of, killing things we aren't supposed to kill and finding loot we aren't supposed to find. (He likes to put really good loot hidden around places to reward us for being thorough in our quests :P) So as the game's progressed things have gotten more and more dangerous.

We're wandering around in this dungeon built by a god out of nothing but prismatic walls. The floors are walls of force, so we're just kind of hovering over these prismatic walls at all times. We come to a room with a chessboard for the floor. Knowing it to be trapped, we start sending in the trap monkeys.

Certain spaces on the floor would trigger a random prismatic effect when stepped on. There was no clear pattern of where we were supposed to go, and at one point we actually had to jump over a trapped tile to continue to advance. Then we got near the door and found the /real/ trap.

The DM had planned for us to use trap monkeys. The last trapped space near the door was not a prismatic effect. Instead it was a series of magical effects, starting with a polymorph spell that changes the creature that triggered it into a homebrew beholder thing that can fire Telekinesis from all it's eyes. In a room full of prismatic walls. Ouch. The trap also broke any magical effects such as summoning, making the new creature a permanent resident, and dominates the creature to kill anyone in the room.

So after a quick bit of horrendous panic and killing the creature we decide to continue when our druid/psion/hell-if-I-know-what-he-was realized something. He's immune to mind-controlling effects.

The DM cried. ;)
Digo 31st Jul 2012, 9:21 AM edit delete reply
LOL, ouch. Sounds like your DM needs to be a bit more flexible instead of trying to take up a lethal hobby like that. :)
Boden King 31st Jul 2012, 8:19 AM edit delete reply
Let's see, "... bad situation ... turn it in your favor." Cool, this story counts.

Our party is attempting to overthrow this Evil, wicked queen. She's aspireing to become immortal and usurp the very gods. So obviously we're in a small town on the other side of the kingdom, trying to get money for the war fund.

After a partically tense day my guy, Erik, wants to calm down a bit and visit his brother, in the graveyard. Night falls and everyone else heads to bed, while Erik is alone, in a graveyard, at night (nothing bad can happen, it's not like the stage is set for an ambush).

While Erik is standing over his brother's headstone, he's aproached by a hooded figure. Erik turns to face this stranger and readies an action (basic melee if he turns hostile, remember this). The two of them start talking and I play Erik as the Fool, every serious question has a random answer. The stranger is in such a rage that he throws back his hood reveiling... the tiefling palace guard captain we pissed off when we escaped Blackthrone (ah, the escape from Blackthrone, truly a story for another day). The last time Erik saw him, he was hanging from the window of his burning office (fun times). Erik notice the tiefling is different, paler skin, black eyes, and says, "You look different. Did you shave your beard?" The tiefling then told Erik he was going to kill him, raise him, and steal his soul.

While this is happening the tiefling is also haunted by Mephostoph (former PC, was evil, now dead) and he is the Ghost Nappa to his Vegeta. At one point the tiefling finally snaps at Ghost Nappa (that's his name now) and in that instance Erik walks up to him and socks him in the face. The tiefling looks back at Erik with fire in his eyes and I gleefully ask the DM, "Is he hostile now?"

So the fight is underway and I won initiative, so I land three strikes on him before he can even hit me. He's wearing cloth armor and I have a +11 to all my attacks, I can't not hit him. Roll some good damage and... nothing, he's not bleeding. All that damage and he seemed fine. I was in trouble, in a straight one on one fight he would win, he had more hit points and abilities (I burned my dailys already). I'm losing hit points and no help is coming, also I can't run (stupid scale armor and -1 speed mod). I know I can't win, so I change it up. I light one of the trees on fire, knowing help was coming I held out as long as I could.

Three rounds later and he knocks my fighter ass out. Lucky for me that's when it turned around. My frie... comrades show up and brought around fifty villigers with them. The tiefling can't escape and the warlord yells me back to consinous. And the first thing Erik did upon waking up... critting the tiefling. He drove his sword through the guy's foot. We defeat him and on Thursday we'll kill him.
XandZero2 31st Jul 2012, 9:19 AM edit delete reply
Just remember that a good bad-guys never goes down easily.

But that was pretty sharp thinking setting the tree on fire.
Boden King 31st Jul 2012, 10:08 AM edit delete reply
Everyone needed an excuse to roll Perception.
Demon32835 31st Jul 2012, 9:36 AM Succubus should have cone for me... edit delete reply
Okay, so for some reason, my group managed to piss off a cult. Somehow we got our hands on one of their 'Holy' books, opened it for some reason, and out pops a succubus. Well, I was excited, hoping she'd go for my character or something, but nope, she goes for my friend. So now she's controlling my friend as long as he's withing two squares of her, and any attack that we target her with, redirects to him. We let our Sorcerer take control for a bit, doing splash damage by targeting behind the succubus, but this takes forever.

During this I was bored, and just reading through my attack list for funsies. I quickly realized that my DM and I had been reading one of my attacks wrong, it didn't do weapon damage, just from my STR multiplier or something, BUT the important thing was that it knocked my target away like... 2-3 spaces. I point this out, I pull it off, and knock my buddy away, breaking the succubus' hold on him, and everyone goes to town on her.
XandZero2 31st Jul 2012, 9:40 AM edit delete reply
I'm trying to think of a good story... and I think I got one.

Okay, so my brother and I were playing in the first RP we'd ever played in - a Star Wars RP, before the Emperor issues order 66 (the one when the Clone Troopers started hunting down all the Jedi).

We had a two man party - I was playing a Tradoshan (lizardman) Rogue working up to becoming a Bounty Hunter like his hero Jango Fett - and my bro was playing a race of creatures with these rebreathers. They looked cool, but every so often, they had to switch out their masks or they'd die of suffocation (they needed a certain type of air that was rare).

Well in the middle of the campaign, we crash-land our ship on a world with this insane acid rain (our ship was literally disintegrating during planetfall, which wasn't fun). Both my brother and I black out - and when we wake up, we come face-to-face with this Dark Jedi nut-job. I forget exactly why he was there, but we were thinking - okay, so there's one of him and two of us. We can do this...

(Did I mention that this was my first time playing an RP? I didn't know how powerful the big-bads tend to be in these things yet - but oh, how I learned).

Well, this Dark Jedi uses the Force to lift a shard of the wrecked ship off the ground, then propels it at my character with blinding speed.

I roll a natural 19 and I'm thinking, "Hah! Nice try buzzard!"

-Right when the DM says, "The shard was aimed for your throat, and you dodge out of the way just in time - only to have your hand get severed at the wrist."


-And just like that, I'm an amputee.

We were wondering what would have happened if I'd rolled lowered, but now I was bleeding out, we were both panicking, my bro's rebreather was about to run out of air (at which time he'd start asphyxiating) and that Dark Jedi hadn't even broken a sweat...

So we did the only thing we could think of - we ran like the dickens!

The Jedi didn't chase us thankfully, and after we felt we'd got enough distance between him and us, my bro finally switched out his breath mask (with something like 2 minutes of air left on the thing). We wandered off and finally found a nice settlement.

-And you're probably wondering right about now how we made the best out of a worst-case scenario...

Well, that came when we chipped our money together and got me a masterwork quality bionic hand to replace the one I lost in the fight with the Jedi. Even though we'd come out rough for ware, I ended up better than before.

Gotta love Sci-Fi settings.
Anvildude 1st Aug 2012, 8:22 PM edit delete reply
Wait, your Trandoshan Rogue looked up to Jango? Not a Trandoshan Bounty Hunter? Like Trassk, maybe (though he was later...) It's not like Wookie pelts don't fetch a decent price, after all.
Digo 31st Jul 2012, 10:15 AM edit delete reply
"We can rebuild him..."

Nice to have a bright side to such a potentially dark situation.
A Player In a Stairc Game 31st Jul 2012, 10:24 AM edit delete reply
This is from one of our adventure summaries. I repeat, this happened after the events ONE adventure. We were doing really, really good at the start.

"The 20 Ways We’re F#cked
1. Torrin knows we're alive
2. The WORLD thinks we're the villains and want our blood
3. The Church of the One has bolstered its numbers
4. The knights of Ravenwold are all but decimated
5. We don't have the hell-knight army anymore
6. Aurelius is dead
7. The Exarch of Pieter who was trapped in the amulet is probably dead
8. The mansion is obliterated
10. The gods are all but mortal anymore
11. Scarlet lost a wing
12. Our Gnoll is dead
13. We lost a quarter of our gear just getting to Torrin
14. The last known portal to the Astral Sea has been destroyed
15. Torrin is in the Astral Sea
16. Torrin is now a changeling and also impossible to find again
17. The Dragging Claws of Hell is gone
18. The time-rift has been stabilized and therefor no more easy time-travel
19. Shadowsbane sacrificed himself to save us and another Ravenwold city
20. There is almost nowhere to run

And things were about to get much, much worse. Scarlet’s wound wasn’t healing. In fact, it was spreading, and fast."
Some footnotes:

1) Torrin is... I don't want to talk about it. You might have heard about him before. Hateful little level 5 merchant that's scarier than arch-devils.

3) Church of the One was a fake religion created by Torrin he controls completely.

6) Aurelius being the son of a god, a powerful ally. May or may not have indirectly caused his death... And the destruction of his soul.

7) Pieter being a powerful god and ally, Exarch was his right hand man.

8) Had a flying mansion... Equipped with hell-weapon... *sob*

9) Jeeves was basically our Level 30 Butler. Okay, he didn't have a level - but he was so great and so helpful it felt like that.

10) They lost nearly all their divine powers.

11) Scarlet is a red dragon with the personality of Fluttershy. The whole group was in love with her.

12) The Gnoll was a powerful PC.

13) That's over 3 million gold in losses.

17) Ultra hell-weapon we had installed in our flying mansion, made the mansion basically a deathstar.

18) Yeah, we stabilized that ourselves so Torrin couldn't undo any of his mistakes. When's CTRL + Z when you need it?

19) Shadowsbane, mighty archmage and hero - powerful ally.

20) ... Yeah.
Lyntermas 31st Jul 2012, 10:48 AM edit delete reply
We didn't see the signs. We didn't understand the stories. By the time we had put the pieces together, it was too late.

Stairc managed to get a group to play a game of Pony Tales: Aspirations of Harmony.

Player, I am afraid that your tale merely reinforces what we already know. The most we can do is compile this evidence, and let the world know: If they ever meet a shopkeeper named Torrin, kill him. Regardless of setting, means, or motivation, kill him with extreme prejudice.
Crimson Doom 1st Aug 2012, 6:12 AM edit delete reply
Crimson Doom
Well, technically he's still looking over potnetial recruits. But yes, he is going to be running a game. Isn't it glorious? Hehehehehehehahahahahahaaaa! *lightning flashes*
Zuche 31st Jul 2012, 10:57 AM edit delete reply
Torrin sounds more like a game-killer than an antagonist. If the villain ruins everything you care about, what's left to motivate you? The pursuit of revenge just signs over your goals and thoughts to him, so why bother giving him that satisfaction?
Newbiespud 31st Jul 2012, 11:08 AM edit delete reply
The deal with Torrin's a little more complicated than that. It starts with one minor offense, where him and/or his organization outsmarts you just once, makes the party feel like complete idiots. Then it happens again. And again. It goes a bit beyond DM fiat just saying, "That didn't work" - there's always a reason, a way of thinking Torrin employs that's in-character for him. He's a mastermind. A player described one of the dungeons designed by Torrin as "psychic speed-chess."

You deal with this dude for an entire campaign, put everything you have on the line, only to have it blow up in your face and land you in the worst situation imaginable. That's when you get that feeling of both "We're screwed" and "TORRIN MUST DIE A HORRIBLE DEATH."

...And tying it back into my story prompt, the thing that makes it all worth it is: Against all odds, the players manage to pool all their resources together, take actions that Torrin couldn't even fathom much less prepare for, and finally take the smug little shopkeeper down in an epic, karmic way.

Basically, two of the Evertide campaigns exemplify today's story prompt. (Because the freaking guy CAME BACK from his first fate-worse-than-death, apparently! The second one obliterated him, though, so he should be gone forever.)
Lyntermas 31st Jul 2012, 11:27 AM edit delete reply
Sounds a bit like Kefka from FF 6. Starts off as almost a joke, but slowly ascends in villainy to taking over the world.
Zuche 31st Jul 2012, 11:34 AM edit delete reply
I know I'm not getting an accurate impression of the character. You and others have displayed great affection for campaigns featuring him, which is what matters most.

Sorry. I guess I've become a bit jaded by one too many stories featuring bad cases of Elminster syndrome.
Stairc 31st Jul 2012, 11:47 AM edit delete reply
*laughs* Yeah, that's what's fun about Torrin. He was the opposite of Elminster in many ways. He was pathetically weak, if the adventurers could ever get their hands on him they'd spit him on their blades. But he just has this wicked way of manipulating the powerful entities around him, such as the players.

The core of Torrin's methods is that he tricks the players into screwing themselves over - through fair and legitimate trickery. And that's what made them hate him so much. Well, that and a few other things.

However, since he was a real character - they *could* outsmart him and often the players would wriggle out of his trap and turn some element of it to their advantage. Like the time they "bought themselves into slavery" but were able to wriggle out of their captors' hands and use this clear act of wrongdoing to turn Torrin's honorable captain against him and they got away with Torrin's prize ship: Which became their vessel for the rest of the campaign.

And then there was that time that Torrin tricked the players into getting nearly all the goodly deities killed... And after nearly locking themselves in a briefcase of holding under the sea to just hide and hope Torrin forgot about them... They rose on the stepping stones of their failure to outmaneuver the bastard, turn his allies against him and they became the new gods.

Torrin's the kind of villain you love to hate. I'm glad he finally met a fitting end after 2 full campaigns though, I'm looking forward to trying to top him.
Karilyn 31st Jul 2012, 3:54 PM edit delete reply
>Torrin's the kind of villain you love to hate. I'm glad he finally met a fitting end after 2 full campaigns though, I'm looking forward to trying to top him.

Mommy... I'm scared. (No not really; if there's one weakness to Inky Quills, it's that she's excessively cocky)
Absolutely! Tough, hateful bastard... But he can, if you work at it, be beaten! Spent the whole week preparing after the above adventure and not only was Torrin out-foxed, his soul was destroyed utterly - our group became deserved heroes of the cosmos and we *healed the abyss*.

We ushered in the Age of Light and shattered Torrin's soul for good.

So... Damn... Worth it.
Stairc 31st Jul 2012, 12:06 PM edit delete reply
Favorite moments about Torrin's two major defeats...

First Campaign (Newbiespud's): Torrin engineered a situation where there were no portals to the Astral Sea - where they desperately needed to go. He assumed they'd use Astral Projection (which would leave their bodies soul-less and vulnerable). This is dangerous, of course, but far safer than doing... What they did instead. They tore a hole in the fabric of reality by combining two powerful extradimensional islands and nearly had their souls shredded in the rift (which would have wiped them from existence entirely) but barely managed to navigate the rift to the Astral Sea with some well-timed Natural 20s. This fractured Torrin's plan, as he'd counted on their bodies being vulnerable and soul-less, which he'd promised to an order of body-less sorcerer kinds helping him. The players informed the Sorcerer Kings, once they found out about the arrangement, that they weren't going to Astral Project and the angry Archmages turned on Torrin - subjecting him to horrifying torture. The players dropped by after ascending to god-hood and Torrin screamed that it was impossible to get to the Astral Sea without the projection. The players told him how the unthinkably and unnecessarily dangerous way they'd done it and he stared at them.

"You mean... The one flaw in my plan... Was that I trusted too much to your competence?!?"

Absolutely epic. Torrin simply wasn't able to consider that possibility, he'd never do something that dangerous, and thus the players out-foxed him.

2)Second campaign, taking place right after the above "top 20 ways we're fucked" story. After a full campaign's worth of subtle machinations Torrin managed to steal the combined power of the greater deities (from the former group's characters that were now NPC gods). He was about to ascend to unthinkable power, was slapping the party of 10 around (one of which was level 30) laughing hysterically about how their efforts to defeat him only aided him, how he'd planned for everything they could do - how he had a dozen contingency plans... And then one of the players, near-dead, ran over to him and pointed his Rod of Wonder at Torrin's head point-blank.

"PLAN FOR THIS!" He shouted, triggering the Rod of Wonder.

The rod triggered and the player Kindulas (Carson Dougan, a designer on Pony Tales and behind the initial designs of many of the original combat talents) rolled a d100. The first result was a dud, it transformed Kindulas into a duck - but he changed back with his at-will polymorph. He action pointed and fired again. The second result summoned a herd of pink ponies... But an ally gave him a reroll.

The final roll was... God I still get the shivers.

Karmic Ray
The target feels the collective effects of its actions towards others.

And that was the end of Torrin.
Digo 31st Jul 2012, 12:19 PM edit delete reply
Oh man, you need to have that second story BRONZED somehow to preserve for all eternity. That is indeed an epic way to do a villain in!
Stairc 31st Jul 2012, 12:26 PM edit delete reply
*grins* He was basically torn apart by the players' hatred.

So beautiful.
Zuche 31st Jul 2012, 1:03 PM edit delete reply
Nothing's coming across to me in any of these descriptions. I'm sorry I can't get it.
The Guest 1st Aug 2012, 7:40 AM edit delete reply
Torrin is a Magnificent Bastard who is well done. Everyone loves a good villain.
Mejui 31st Jul 2012, 10:44 AM The Comic... for Once edit delete reply
I just wanted to say, the last bit of that last panel, "Gettin' mah apple-spotted butt kicked, what else?" and the expressions in the screencap...

McBehrer 31st Jul 2012, 10:57 AM edit delete reply

We were a level 3 party. Me (a magus,) a Cavalier, a ninja, a fighter, and an alchemist. Against a ITTY BITTY BAAABY SIZED red dragon. It was supposed to be a CR 4 or 5. Unfortunately, our DM, in an attempt to give it more HP, added about 10 Hit Dice to the monster generator he was using, bumping its AC well above 30.

We would have been completely boned if our alchemist wasn't the best power-gamer in the business. He used Giant growth, stone fists, and his mutagen for all of the strength, then just held it on the ground for us to pummel. It was great.
Ramsus 31st Jul 2012, 11:01 AM edit delete reply
So this was in a Star Wars game (of my and my friend's own design since the GM challenged us to make a better one than the existing ones when we complained about how we didn't like any of them and then we did over the summer).

We were playing two rogue jedi turned sith (who eventually turned "screw your definitions" but that's was later and not actually during the games but, happened between them) and a bounty hunter. We had gotten captured because my friend suddenly had a change of heart when we were finally confronted by someone tasked with bringing us in, so he gave up. Thinking at first he had a plan we followed suit.

The jedi puts us in the back and puts these things on our heads to block our force powers (like Bastila in Kotor) and of course we're in shackles. We can just barely manage to talk a little and that's when we find out, nope he really just surrendered.

I was like, screw that, and using pure force of will (and a really good roll) overcame the force block and freed myself and the bounty hunter who then KOed the jedi.

Our friend still decides he's going to surrender but, he also agrees to not get in our way as we use his capture and meeting with the masters council as a distraction to go steal something from their vaults that we needed.
sunbeam 31st Jul 2012, 11:13 AM The druid and the illusionist edit delete reply
NOTE: this story is slightly NSFW, but I try to caramelize everything...which is rather difficult, considering the subject matter, but there shouldn't be anything explicit.
You want stories about quick thinking? I've got at least three from my first ever campaign (played just last year).
Now, we were playing 3.5 ed, and for everybody in our party (I was an illusionist sorcerer, and I had a fire wizard, a spacey bard, a diplomatic fighter, a holocaustic ardent, and a...special my cohorts), this was our first campaign, except for the druid. The DM had played before, but her family games had never really taken her past 6th level, which was our starting point. So none of us really qualified as "experienced." Except for the druid, and by Jove did he try to make that known. He put so much effort into derailing the campaign, including creating his own homebrew class, the...*sigh*...Sex Warrior. He described it as a variation on the paladin class, where the code required that sex warriors seek sexual conquest whenever possible, including, apparently, in the middle of A DUNGEON CRAWL. But that's for another day. We never should've let him download the book of Erotic Fantasies (Yes that is a real sourcebook). But in any case, he very quickly multiclassed, and proceeded to sleep with his animal companion every night. I didn't complain about that, because it meant that in inns we could make him sleep outside, and that meant the bard and I had a room to ourselves, and the bard was quiet. But still the druid worked tirelessly to derail the campaign, or at least cause chaos, in the most ridiculous of ways.

Now, when we first reach the capital city of Stormfall, we do what any normal band of adventurers would do, hit the taverns! Now my character is paranoid as all hell, so he doesn't drink or eat food that he didn't prepare himself, so while the wizard gets led off by a succubus and the psion goes to buy a packhorse to carry all her alcohol, I keep an eye on the bar. Inevitably, the druid finds a way to take offense at the barkeep, and they get into an argument which, if I know the druid, is going to come to blows in maybe a round. So I shut my eyes tight and cast Pyrotechnics on the nearest lamp. While everyone's blinded and wondering what the hay happened, I shove the druid out the door. I know giving him a talking to won't change a damned thing, so I just try to get him to go somewhere quiet where he can sleep for the night with his animal...companion. But he's still drunk, and pissed off, so he tries to cast flaming sphere and burn the tavern down. I don't actually think that a ball of fire the size of my fist can do anything those big wet timbers, but I don't want to take any chances, so I mutter a curse, shut my eyes, and cast pyrotechnics again. He keeps trying (he had 3 flaming spheres prepared...he really liked the spell), but I was a sorcerer, so I outdistanced him and made them all into fireworks. At this point he finally gives up and goes off to sleep with the blacksmith's son. Crisis 1 averted.

The next day (after our dear druid is thrown out a window by the blacksmith when he finds him in bed with his son...) we meet with the king, get a quest to retrieve Macguffin A, and leave Stormfall, thankfully before the barkeep can discuss my, acquaintance...with me. While on the road, we hear screams, and when we go to investigate we find a small village being attacked by imps (hey, we're only level 7...don't look down on us). After saving the village, the druid/sex warrior seeks to fulfill his code with the help of a traveling bombardier beetle tamer. I mention her proffession because he crits his seduction check, and the beetle, ah...joins in. So he's arrested for public indecency and she's kicked out of the town. I figured leaving him alone in the jail was a terrible idea, since leaving him alone at all was a terrible idea, so I followed the local law to the small jail and asked about the state of their jail cells. Whether I planned to break him out or not, I don't honestly know, but I learned that the cells were underground, small cubes of removed earth forming almost impenetrable cells. a useful detail, however, was that there was a window at the top corner of each cell where the sun could shine in, so I went to each little window until I found our druid. He could actually see out the hole by standing on his riding dog, and wouldn't you know it, he gets the cell right across from Town Hall. Now I try to talk him out of this, but he's still hellbent on causing some chaos, so he tries to cast Call Lightning to blast Town Hall. He just misses his d% roll, and the bolt likewise just misses town hall. To stop him from calling more, I immediately cast major image on him (or is it the hall? I'm not sure) to make it look as though he blasted the building. Quite satisfied, he settles down to serve his time. He gets out the next day and we're very careful to take him out of the jail by the back entrance, and leave the town without him ever seeing the untouched town hall. Crisis two averted.

Now we continue on our quest, and after collapsing a mine shaft (twice), burning most of a forest canopy to find our over-emotional wizard, and almost getting eaten, yes, eaten, by a water elemental, we retrieve Macguffin A and return to Stormfall. I make sure we book lodging at a different tavern, and then we go see the king about our boon. This time, unfortunately, we are met by not only the king but by his beautiful wife. Now inevitably the sex warrior code kicks in and he starts to sweet-talk the queen of the blasted continent. Unfortunately, our DM let him make seduction a skill instead of a simple charisma check, so he has somewhere between +17 and +27 to Seduction, making him the equivalent of George Clooney combined with Casanova. So he's sweet-talking the queen, and it's WORKING, and the king is looking positively murderous. Now I would very much like to avoid a royal decree of beheading, so out of all the spells I've learned, guess which one I use? Prestidigitation. I glue his tongue to the roof of his mouth, and while he's spluttering and choking the fighter apologizes and leads them both out of the room. Crisis #3 averted.

Now it was at this point that my character was finally tracked down by Vecna (long story), and was taken on as her eternal soldier to fulfill an old eldritch bargain. So I rolled a new character, but I was worried as to what would happen without my sorcerer's lick of sense. I realize I've sounded like some sort of Mary Sue, but I promise you the campaign did not revolve around me. It was just that the Wizard and the Psion found him absolutely hilarious, the fighter was dating him and thusly had her hands tied, and the bard was always, always, ALWAYS on Facebook, so he didn't care in the slightest, So it fell to me to make certain that he didn't let us go down in history is the most chaotic group of morons to ever call themselves adventurers. Now I had none of those tools. I was a swordsman, how was I supposed to tell the druid to sit in a corner? Fortunately, that was decided for me. It turned out that before I even got to introduce my new character, the druid did manage to get the party into a dangerous situation with the king, and to curry the king's favor and avoid beheading the psion and the wizard torched the druid before he could take a step towards them. Crisis averted, problem solved.

He then rolled up a Lawful Good Troll Monk that only spoke Giant, and none of us understood Giant...good times.
Boden King 31st Jul 2012, 1:29 PM edit delete reply
This druid sounds like a player in my group. Her first character's favorite past time was stripping naked, stealthing, and running through the streets, if we're lucky, in that order. Her second character was a transvestite and couldn't talk, and was in love with a wolf turn elf. Her third character is pregnant and has bouts of evilness because of a love potion her fourth character slipped her. And her next character is going to screw anything that moves. Fun times.
Sex Warrior 31st Jul 2012, 3:12 PM This is all so wrong edit delete reply
Let me introduce myself. I am Jesper, the Half-Elf Druid/Sex Warrior that this story speaks of. Firstly, I would like to point out an important note, my Riding Dog Beetbars, who was drastically overpowered due to my misunderstanding of companion rules. As well, I never slept with him, more on that later. I would like to point out how inaccurate this story is. I will go through them one by one to address each.
The first story is all wrong. I was a mere druid and had yet to even think of seduction, much less the sex warrior class. I was thinking of playing my character as a more traumatized figure, but I was still figuring him out. We come across a small village (not at all Stormfall)and go to the tavern for food, not necessarily drinking. Being a druid and still figuring out my character, I decided to play it safe and say that my character didn't drink (for now), so I politely asked the bartender what juices they had. The bartender, being an ass, replied "We only serve men here". Now, my character has gone through some traumatic stuff and has proven himself a man. This angered me so deeply that I acted before I thought at all. So I hit in the face with my quarterstaff. Now, rather than having a nice, manly bout with me, he kicks me out of the building (Xastian the sorcerer, or sunbeam, had nothing to do with it). Being angry, and learning that the tavern is made of wood, I prepare to cast flaming sphere(which is far bigger than one's fist). With a smidgen of metagaming, the fighter comes out of the bar to stop me (we weren't dating yet). She rolls a twelve on her intimidation. I scoff at this measly roll as I have somewhere around +8 Will. I roll a 2. Looking for personal revenge (me, not Jesper) I decide to seduce the fighter. We decide this is done as a skill check vs. Will save. Miraculously, I succeed, but my victory is shortlived as unbeknownst to us our wizard has been taken hostage by a succubus and we have to save her. We finally find her cuddled in the arms of the blacksmith's apprentice, succubus already slain. This is a problem because the sorcerer and wizard have a "thing". Everyone leaves for the night, but I, being sexually and mentally frustrated, seduce the blacksmith's son and spend a wonderful night with gay buttsex. This is also when the joke about me sleeping with my dog comes from because when I ask the DM who was catcher, she immediately replies "Beetbars" and says no more.
NOw for the second story. Nope, that is exactly how that went down (I was a sex warrior by then), so instead I will tell how the sex warrior came about. One day, at lunch the girl who plays the fighter suggested I make a feat about ejaculation that is an area of effect attack. I immediately think of class ideas and start work on it.
NOw the third story. No. None of this happened at all. Literally none of it. Except for my character being killed. But this was because I, like sunbeam, was bringing in a new character, so I had my character leave the party. BEing as a great evil came about, my party was not happy about this. The wizard attacked because she was going crazy from grief (that "thing" I spoke of since sunebeam died) and the Ardent because he was Chaotic Evil and thought it would be good fun.
There are my corrections. I could also tell of the time when the wizard and I abused flaming sphere (though we weren't technically using it correctly) or the time the wizard and I bought 100GP worth of cheap aleand got super drunk. The wizard eventually had lesbian sex with the fighter. Good Times
deeman45 31st Jul 2012, 11:39 AM edit delete reply
This wasn't me personally turning around a desperate situation, but I DM'ed a session set in the Roaring Twenties where the PCs were stooges of this up-and-coming mobster. The mobster was dabbling in the arcane and the PCs found themselves in a run-down, all-but-abandoned ghetto that had been taken over by these mysterious creatures.

They eventually found out the creatures were a nest of arcane, giant spiders. The bugs came in all forms--big, poisonous, etc. But the players weren't expecting that the elite caste of the nest were "possession spiders" that could turn others into their biddable thralls with a bite. They ran into a few possessed dogs and rats and didn't think much of it, but changed their tune when they encountered a trio of possessed cops that nearly gave them a TPK. (Later, when they took an extended rest in a seemingly-hidden catacomb, the spiders came in and turned 1/3 of the party. Ah, good times.)

Eventually they found out that the nest was based out of an abandoned factory on the wharf, but the spiders' thralls had constructed a makeshift fortress out of scrapped cars and a WWI-era turret, making an approach nigh-impossible.

The plan was for players to take a roundabout method along the water. What happened was that the players pooled their inventories--several innocuous, seemingly near-useless items were combined to make one member of the party--Father Manuel, a Chaotic Evil heretic Catholic priest who was bent on turning the mob into his personal holy army--a one man turret-rushing machine. The party loaded him up with accessories designed to protect the wielder from ranged attacks. Alone they offered a +1 bonus, but stacked (and with a daily power that doubled the effects of accessories for two turns) he had a +10 resistance against ranged attacks, including the turret.

Add two items, both single-use, that allow one free re-roll on any die roll, and another single-use item that doubles the range of abilities that let you move squares as part of the effect (i.e. Father Manuel had an ability to teleport up to six squares as an encounter power; with that item, he could go twelve instead.)

Father Manuel rushes the turret. The first two turns his daily power is in effect and he takes negligible damage from the doubled resistance bonus. After his daily power wears off he takes heavy hits, but the items he's wearing mean he'll live long enough. He has to make five moderately high checks to overcome obstacles without provoking opportunity attacks. He makes four of the checks fine, but one he fails. A use of one of the re-roll items nets him a seventeen, however.

Finally, Father Manuel is within 10 squares of the turret. However, he's near-death and one more attack will take him down. He activates his teleportation ability and boosts it with the item, teleporting six squares and getting a sneak attack against the guy manning a turret. He rolls his attack...and gets a three. It looks like he'll fail after all.

He has his second re-roll item. The 3 becomes a freaking Critical Hit.
deeman45 31st Jul 2012, 11:40 AM edit delete reply
Father Manuel crits the guy and, with the sneak attack damage bonus, OHKO's him. The turret is under the party's control, and they lay siege to the enemies guarding the factory gates before entering.

Without the outer wave to soften the party up, the boss inside is easy pickings. They corner him on a catwalk 40 feet from the factory floor, where he gives a rant about how easy it was for him to overtake a "modern" community and how the old, arcane ways will return to drown the new world.

Party: "What do we do with him?"

Father Manuel: "I say we throw the good book at him."

Father Manuel takes out his Bible (he is a priest, after all) and bitchslaps the boss with it. The damage is negligible...but the force knocks the boss off the catwalk and sends him plummeting forty feet to his death.

Still one of the greatest sequence of events I have ever DM'ed. I was too busy being impressed to hold a grudge against the party for circumventing the events I had planned.
Raxon 31st Jul 2012, 12:00 PM edit delete reply
I'll be honest. I'd never seen such a weak, malnourished ego before. It had to be removed, but it's okay, because we found a donor. Your new ego will be fine, but you need refrain from manly posing, posturing for clout, and any and all bragging for two weeks, to give it time to heal.
Umiyuri Papaeyra 31st Jul 2012, 12:14 PM edit delete reply
Umiyuri Papaeyra
Ah, the problem of Fuzzy's self-esteem. What did he say to me before? "If you give me an inch, I'll take a mile and throttle it myself"?

But I hope it means something that I'm very, very proud of him.
deeman45 31st Jul 2012, 1:08 PM edit delete reply
@Raxon -- This aimed at me? Sorry if I came across as arrogant in my recollection.
Lyntermas 31st Jul 2012, 1:11 PM edit delete reply
No, no, no, deeman45. Raxon and Umiyuri were responding to Newbiespud's comment at the very top in "Author's Notes". I'm 99% sure they have nothing against your story, which I personally found quite enjoyable to read.
Zarhon 31st Jul 2012, 1:51 PM edit delete reply

Horizon: "Talk! *punch* Talk, damn you! *Punch* *Punch*
Cultist: "I'm- Ow! - try - Oof! - ing - *cough* - to!"


Rolf: "I'll pick...- door number 1."
Lizzie: "Aaand behind door number 1 isssss..."
Skitter: "...A death orb! Perfect for decoration, ominous prophecies of doom, and justified sullen brooding!"
Tiffany: "And that's not all! You also get a home version of our game, as well as a free glove of storing!"
Lizzie: "Let's all give a big round of applause to our winner!"
Cultists: *Clapping*
Rolf: "F**k."


Campaign continuation part Dooooooom: "Zelda puzzles 101"

Tiffany & Skitter

Tiffany & Skitter escort brother Silas to his room. Skitter heads through the wall in advance. Silas then goes to his bed and points at one of the decorative knobs on its end. He pushes it, causing it to flip over and reveal a button underneath. As he pushes it, a section of the wall to noiselessly slides open, revealing the passage Skitter is waiting in. Silas takes a candle with him and you all enter the passage. The door soon closes behind you.

As you follow him, you encounter two forks in the tunnel. Brother Silas leads you to towards the right both times. You look around with the gem, but don't find anything hidden.
Eventually, you reach a dead end, containing nothing other than a extinguished torch. Silas then pulls on the torch like a lever, causing the wall to open.
Tiffany recognizes the room as the wine cellar she was in earlier. This would explain that suspicious barrel of wine, as well as the animals: Silas must have simply gone on drinking hikes a lot, using the secret passage, and the animals probably came from the tunnel. Silas then shows you that one of the stones in the wall next to the barrel opens up the passage again.
He asks if he can help in any other way.


A few minutes pass before Rolf heads over to the main hall, with the cleric in tow. Sister Ivy and the (now recovered) paladin tell you they'll lock the door and deal with the prisoners. They'll try to get some info out of them they can. To increase safety, they'll lock the room from the inside. Knock four times to get in.

Rolf then proceeds to the main hall with the cleric. It stands majestically before you. A door to your right appears to have been separated from the door frame. The room itself is huge, with various benches, a grand altar, contained within a slightly elevated platform on one end, the main gates on another, pillars reaching to the roof on the sides, confessional boxes and stained windows. High above you, you can see balconies, which the cleric informs you are part of the attic. He points you in the direction of the attic stairs.
Lyntermas 31st Jul 2012, 2:12 PM edit delete reply
Rolf takes out his amulet and holds it up to his eye, and starts searching the hall. "At this point, we are mostly interested in locating the bombs, rather than trying to disarm them ourselves." He said to the cleric. "Fortunately, as far as we know, the bombs can only be set off manually by adding a heat reagent. As long as we can keep the cultists away, they should be fine. However, they still contain a toxic purple gas that...reacts to dead bodies. Skitter may be able to find a way to render them harmless once we find them."

"Also, I recalled you mentioning something about a wine ritual room. Would it be that room behind the stained glass door in the hall we left earlier? What were the ropes used for?"

Concerns at this point:
a)Ask Brother Silas if any of the tunnels lead to the room that the cultists came out of.

b) Check Lizzie's hallway for that door with the blood coming out and leading up the stairs.
Kris_The_Guest 31st Jul 2012, 2:20 PM edit delete reply
"Well, is there any other way to calm Lizzie down other than using the ring or by getting killed?" Tiffany asked.
Ramsus 31st Jul 2012, 2:20 PM edit delete reply
Skitter asks Silas' help in choosing wines (he has excellent taste and a good knowledge of wines but, it's not like he actually knows what is actually down here or every vintage) and hints that since he's taking his fee, surely the other clerics wouldn't notice a few extra missing bottles.

(I would have actually RPed that but, it'd involve more knowledge about wine than I actually have.)
Lyntermas 31st Jul 2012, 2:26 PM edit delete reply
Skitter interrogated the cultist who told him they had placed the device in a secret tunnel (The whole "pick your potion" bluff on comic 151). But, you know, priorities. Get your payment, then focus on the job.

edit: Oh, I didn't know you were talking about the wine. Carry on.
Ramsus 31st Jul 2012, 2:42 PM edit delete reply
Yeah, I mean, what if the bomb goes off before we finish and destroys all the wine? Then where would we be if I hadn't stopped to grab the wine first? Without wine that's where!
Zarhon 31st Jul 2012, 2:53 PM edit delete reply
S & T

"Calming her down? Well, getting on her cubs good side would be one way. She also likes most of the paladins and holy warriors, a trait of her former master. You, miss, certainly look like such a person. If you hurt her cubs however, there is no way to calm her without getting severely punished, or worse. Unless the other cubs try try to protect you from her."

He turns to Skitter.

"As for you... uh... sir, this little barrel has the strongest stuff we have. Our best stuff though, are these two.

*He shows two bottles, stashed on a wine rack*

"The first is from the time of the Savior himself. It's reserved exclusively for the holiest of rituals though, and someone would surely notice it missing. The other is a blend I've been cultivating in secret for a time. I'll gladly give it to you... For a form of compensation."


The cleric confirms that yes, that room was the wine rites room. As for the ropes, those were for the main bells, leading all the way up to the attic. One of them is a bit damaged though, I wouldn't recommend pulling it.

As you can the room, you suddenly notice some mineral glue traces, near the middle of the hall. It leads somewhere towards the pillars on the side.
Kris_The_Guest 31st Jul 2012, 2:58 PM edit delete reply
"Oh, okay. Thank you for the information." Tiffany replied, bowing respectively. "Now how do I tell Horizon? Tiffany thought.
Ramsus 31st Jul 2012, 3:15 PM edit delete reply
"Alas, I have no wares or currency since I've yet to be paid for my services and am new to this area. I shall take the barrel then..." at this Skitter just opens up the portable hole underneath the barrel which drops in. "and perhaps there are a few bottles of at least moderate quality I might take just for some variety?"

"Cubs? Do you keep a bear in the temple or something? Admittedly there were performers right outside but, that still seems a bit odd."
Lyntermas 31st Jul 2012, 3:28 PM edit delete reply
Rolf pulls out some pebbles he had gotten earlier backstage and uses them to better determine the trail. "Sorry for the mess, cleric, but the bombs are usually stuck in place with a type of mineral glue. We can hopefuly follow the trail until we find the bomb." As he follows the trail to one of the pillars, he uses his amulet to examine it, making sure to look all around as well as up and down the length of it.
Lyntermas 31st Jul 2012, 6:13 PM edit delete reply
I just realized, Tiffany's not going to be able to use Lizzie as a mount just yet. If she's the only thing between the cultists and the wards that make this place a safe haven, we're going to have to bring in reinforcements before it would be "safe" to have her come with us.
Kris_The_Guest 31st Jul 2012, 6:20 PM edit delete reply
Blah. *huggles Lizzie.* What's that kitty, you want me to enter the story?
Tiffany : *backs away* She's acting more insane than normal.
Lyntermas 31st Jul 2012, 6:48 PM edit delete reply
Assuming that this campaign goes on for a while, you can help Lizzie train the cubs to secure the perimeter. You might need to talk with Lizzie about that, though. She might not be willing to risk her cubs getting hurt.
Bronymous 31st Jul 2012, 9:47 PM edit delete reply
I'm in. Too tired. Post tomorrow. But I'm busy again, so... whenever.
Bronymous 1st Aug 2012, 6:55 AM edit delete reply
Horizon's voice lowered to a visceral growl as the second necromancer approached. "I suggest you tell your friend to drop that wand and wait his turn. You have one more chance to tell me exactly what I want to know." He looks up to the one with the wand. "Actually, how about this? Whichever one of you tells me where the bomb is and how to deactivate it FIRST continues breathing." Not expecting the second cultist to cooperate, Horizon was hoping to force him into doing something stupid. The fact that whatever that may be might end up killing the one willing to talk was a calculated risk. As such, Horizon shifted in place putting as much of his hostage's body between him and that wand. The situation had been very therapeutic- the visions had gone completely, leaving him only with tactical assessments and plans of action. He could tell this was going to go well for him.

If only he knew he was relying on garbage dice to see if anything works.
Intimidate first guy: 11+8
Intimidate second guy: 13+8
Lyntermas 1st Aug 2012, 7:46 AM edit delete reply
Zarhon, I sent you a PM detailing my next few actions. If something happens that I didn't anticipate, then I'll just update when I get back. Off to work, see you all later.
Kris_The_Guest 1st Aug 2012, 11:15 AM edit delete reply
Okay, I got a better song for Horizon.
I'm sure a lot of people will like it.
Zarhon 1st Aug 2012, 11:53 AM edit delete reply

The cultist your holding starts panicking even more, making is difficult to hold him. He yells:

Cultist1: "The crypt! Main crypt!"

His companion hesitates for a moment, before replying:

Cultist2: "Hold your tongue, traitorous fool!"

He then fires his wand.
Cultist 1 -> 18
Cultist 2 -> 11 - 5 (Restrained) = 6
Horizon -> 17

The wand fires a large streak of fire, which impacts the cultist you are holding, setting him ablaze. Horizon avoids most of the blast, but he quickly realize that his living shield isn't very useful anymore, as a few small portions of his clothes catch fire, as a result of holding the now-blazing cultist. The cultist is still alive, amazingly, and is trashing around, screaming wildly, whilst burning like a torch.


You look around, and presto! One of the cylinders is stuck on a pillar. You notice, however, that this one appears to be slightly smaller, and is fully wrapped in insulating cloth, as opposed to just a portion of it.

Skitter & Tiffany

"Hah, a bear wouldn't be a bad guess. Bears aren't the only animal with cubs, though. Don't worry, you'll know her when you see her. Hmm, actually, you'd probably be more worried about actually seeing her. But I digress. If that's all you need me for, I'll head on back to my room."

*He covertly places a pair of bottles into his robes*

"Oh, a few more more things: The other two tunnels lead to a section of the catacombs, as well as our "cold storage", where we keep most of our food and supplies that spoil easily. The catacombs section is locked with a gate though. As for the cold storage area, it tends to be littered with rather large pests.
Bronymous 1st Aug 2012, 12:15 PM edit delete reply
That was absolutely what I was trying to do for once.

Horizon reacts quickly. He stands away from the burning cultist and kicks him toward the assailant. Without pause, he follows behind, using the flailing man for cover from any subsequent attacks. As the two cultists come together, Horizon dives and tackles them both- fire be damned. He jumps away from the pile, and stomps on the exposed wand hand of the second cultist. He watches the m burn for a few seconds, then remembers his own clothes are on fire. Snuffing out the flames, he turns back to the burning cultists. Satisfied that the first was still alive, he turned and began walking down the hallway, hopefully toward the main crypt.

Sorry, I didn't want to break up the scene too much waiting for more responses or rolls. If you think something absolutely needs to be retconned, update and I'll rewrite.
Zarhon 1st Aug 2012, 12:19 PM edit delete reply
You continue down the hall, eventually reaching a door, similar to the ones you've seen before, only this one is a double-door, and in slightly better condition.
Bronymous 1st Aug 2012, 12:45 PM edit delete reply
I don't know what else you were expecting.
Zarhon 1st Aug 2012, 1:16 PM edit delete reply
What, no paranoia of inanimate objects? I'll have to rectify that...

You push on the great doors, revealing a grand chamber. Bones are covering every square inch of the walls. Two pillars support the roof of this large chamber, and a pedestal stands in the middle, containing a bowl that burns a pure, white flame.
Ramsus 1st Aug 2012, 1:22 PM edit delete reply
Skitter grabs a few more bottles that look good and proceeds to search the room with the amulet.

"So, I'm thinking we check the cold storage together?" he asks Tiffany.
Bronymous 1st Aug 2012, 1:36 PM edit delete reply
Well, this looks like the place. Time to find that bomb...that invisible bomb. Damn.

Horizon begins to inspect the room. Without one of those gems, he couldn't see it. But he really didn't want to go back to the burn ward and dig through ash and melty flesh, and a possibly still alive and very pissed off cultist- or two- for one of theirs. He scanned the room. "Ok, so, why put a bomb down here? No one to kill." Lots of bones to plausibly reanimate, but successful activation would decimate them. So the only purpose would be destructurization and demolition. "Pillars it is." Horizon moved to the first pillar, looking for trace mineral glue, and as he searched he passed his hand a few inches off he surface, hoping to come into contact with what he couldn't see. He searched both pillars, floor to as far up as he could reach.

Perception check pillar 1: 13+5; and 2: 10+5. Also, entrances/exits would be nice.
Kris_The_Guest 1st Aug 2012, 1:53 PM edit delete reply
"Sure. It's better we're together so no one can sneak up on us and I can warm you up if you get to cold." Tiffany replied.
Ramsus 1st Aug 2012, 2:15 PM edit delete reply
(I was about to reply to that and then realized Zarhon hasn't told us if Skitter actually found anything in the wine cellar. Not that I'm expecting it.)
Bronymous 1st Aug 2012, 2:36 PM edit delete reply
I was about to reply to that, but it git preempted by immaturity.

"Warm" him up. lol Skittany.
Kris_The_Guest 1st Aug 2012, 2:41 PM edit delete reply
Tiffany : *summons a large, mallet like hammer.*
Me : Run Brony, run~!
Bronymous 1st Aug 2012, 3:03 PM edit delete reply
Zarhon 1st Aug 2012, 4:44 PM edit delete reply
(I assumed you'd assume the room clear since you went through the cellar first, back when you first came inside with Horizon)

Tiffany & Skitter

You don't find any traces of the mineral glue, or the device, within the wine cellar.


Horizon decided to check both pillars. This reveals some kind of device on the left pillar, that you can't actually see. It feels much smaller than the device he's seen before. Moving towards the right pillar, he trips over something as he passes behind the pedestal. It seems much larger, whatever it is he tripped on. He takes note of it, and checks the other pillar. It also has a small device on it, stuck with mineral glue.
Ramsus 1st Aug 2012, 4:57 PM edit delete reply
Ok, then we'll enter the cold storage room and barring any immediate threats (which Skitter is indeed keeping an eye out for) we'll search the room.
Bronymous 1st Aug 2012, 5:51 PM edit delete reply
Horizon uses his kukri to scratch markings into the floor and pillars, denoting the location of the devices. He then backtracks to the charred corpse pile, into the room he broke into, and down the other hall. He couldn't see the bombs, and couldn't disarm them himself even if he could see them. His best chance was to find help.
Lyntermas 1st Aug 2012, 5:54 PM edit delete reply
Rolf takes a closer look at the bomb. Why was it smaller? Probably it was meant to do focused damage to the pillar rather than encompass a larger area.

He brings the cleric closer and shows him the bomb through the amulet. "This is what the bombs look like, although the one we found was a bit larger. As of right now, all we can do is note its location and make sure no cultists get near it. Now, before we continue to the attic, I'd like to see if we could find that paladin I ran into earlier. He apparently went to calm down Lizzie. Do you know where she is usually kept?"
Zarhon 1st Aug 2012, 6:10 PM edit delete reply

As you continue down the other hall, you suddenly hear a very loud explosion right behind you. Turning around, you see a gout of flame, filling the hall, quickly approaching you.
Kris_The_Guest 1st Aug 2012, 6:21 PM edit delete reply
Tiffany slowly entered the cold storage before hearing the rumbling. "Wha?"
Bronymous 1st Aug 2012, 6:26 PM edit delete reply
Fuck. Horizon runs. He runs hard.

Roll Dex, I guess, to escape. 7+8=15
Ramsus 1st Aug 2012, 7:00 PM edit delete reply
"Well, that's not good."
Lyntermas 1st Aug 2012, 7:25 PM edit delete reply
I'm waiting to respond until I know whether or not the floor in the main hall is collapsing.

Bad news: Those cultists weren't quite dead when you left them, Horizon.
Good news: They probably just used their suicide fireball scroll rather than set off the explosives. The structural integrity of the building is still secure.

I mean, you might get burned to a crisp, but you can die knowing that the temple is still (relatively) safe. I base this on the description not mentioning the ceiling collapsing around you.
Bronymous 1st Aug 2012, 7:57 PM edit delete reply
It was the igniter vial being set on fire. The bomb did not go off. Buuuut that's extra out of character knowledge, so you all should still be worried.

If you remember, I promised I wouldn't kill that guy. And I didn't. The fact that he is dead now means nothing.
Lyntermas 1st Aug 2012, 8:00 PM edit delete reply
Oh, I will be. But Rolf had been told that if the catacombs collapsed, then the main hall's floor would collapse as well.

He's still going to be flipping out though.

edit: Well of course Horizon didn't kill him. All he did was position him so that he would be set on fire. He made sure he was alive when he left. The fact that at least one of them possessed a potential volatile substance was merely an unfortunate coincidence.
Ramsus 1st Aug 2012, 9:06 PM edit delete reply
If the place does start collapsing I have something of an amusing speech/thing for Skitter to say. So, there's a silver lining if we all die I guess?
Lyntermas 1st Aug 2012, 9:12 PM edit delete reply
Alt-script time!
"Well, if I'm going out, I'm going out happy."

Skitter reaches into the portable hole and pulls out the barrel of wine and a chalice. He fills up the chalice and takes a long drink. "Hmm, that actually was pretty good-" *CRASH*

But more dead cultists means less bombs going off. And less bombs going off is good if we're going to be using the temple as the sanctuary for the townspeople and our base of operations.
Ramsus 1st Aug 2012, 10:04 PM edit delete reply
Oh no. It is soooooo much better than that. If we get out of here without the place collapsing remind me to do it as an alt script.

I don't think Skitter is going to be too happy using this temple as a base. I mean all the free healing you want sure but.....
Lyntermas 1st Aug 2012, 10:36 PM edit delete reply
Free healing is good, yes, but part of what really sells this place is the wards. As of right now, this temple is the only place in the city that can't be overrun by undead (cultists, maybe, but once the cavalry gets here they shouldn't be as much of an issue). I don't know about undead kobolds, but humans need to sleep, and they'd prefer to do it in a place where there's a good chance to wake up in the morning.
Ramsus 1st Aug 2012, 10:55 PM edit delete reply
Yes well, it's really hard to get your hands on and make poisons with a bunch of clerics around. So if we do end up staying in town (though really I bet we'll be chasing a lead off somewhere else in no time), Skitter will probably spend a lot of time with Rolf thief friends.
Lyntermas 1st Aug 2012, 11:02 PM edit delete reply
Well, at this point we have two potential ways for this campaign to go down.

1. Find the MacGuffins scattered across the lands (with me only having two months to live).
2. Stay in town and build up a resistance against the undead menace, like last time Zilean showed up.

My main question is, if Zilean wants to take over the town, why create the uncontrollable blood monsters?
Ramsus 1st Aug 2012, 11:54 PM edit delete reply
3. Screw the way the prophecy is supposed to work and go make Rolf a vampire and leave the town to its fate.

4. Join the other side and turn Rolf into a lich for real this time.


I don't think it's really Zilean. Just some imposter. Hopefully someone who is using this whole thing just as a ruse to accomplish some other goal. Like his church's political takeover of the country perhaps? Hmmm!?

I honestly never really understood mindless undead as a means of taking over anything. In the end you're just left with a bunch of people you constantly have to keep cowed, the only remaining people alive now all turned to holy warriors which happens to be your weakness (a weakness anyone can up and decide to start learning the powers to exploit through good solid prayer (something absolutely anyone can learn to do) to boot), or just a bunch of undead which are now more or less useless because really, you blew it already on one place and even if there's somewhere else you could use them to conquer, what are the chances it's close enough that all your undead minions won't totally fall apart before you can get there before that place is flooded with holy warriors?

Basically, I see (mindless/dumb) undead as a flashy threat tool but, not really ever as the main means of accomplishing anything except for "I want to rule over a world of corpses".
Lyntermas 2nd Aug 2012, 6:50 AM edit delete reply
You do have a point. And it's something I'd like to bring up to faux-Zilean if we run into him. "You love the drama, but at the end of the day, your only audience will be people who have to be commanded to clap."
Bronymous 2nd Aug 2012, 9:12 AM edit delete reply
That's an excellent line. I may have to steal it if I get to do round two of Dueling Monologues with him. I like the idea of Rolf being turned lich again, but I bet I can think of someone else who doesn't.

Something I just thought about. The wards keep out all undead (excluding half undead like dhampyr), right? So what are the chances of finding a lich anywhere inside? I don't think Zilean is here. The temple may be a major objective, but he isn't here to oversee it and if his cultists are all about the same level of incompetent, I think we'll be fine, and the temple will come out standing- but it doesn't end with that. The town will be infected, and our safe haven will be a bastion for nothing and no one. We couldn't handle an undead siege from inside the city.

The temple is a symbol that he wants destroyed. But if he can't do it himself, and we can stop easily anyone he sends, then we're looking at a standoff until we get to him, wherever that is. If his plans happen to be dashed and his minions scattered before then, then he will flee, and that's how this campaign will continue. We'll track him, stopping minor plans of his once every Saturday Morning, until the finale. What happens to Rolf and if we find Ratatosk will be mixed in for good measure.

(BTW, I don't think this is the real Zilean, either.)

As for the other theories, there are bits and pieces of detail that would be affected by Horizon's mindset, but those can worked around. Joining the other side, for example, he would be against at first, but he is only at this point "contracted" to Tiffany so if she does, he does. (She doesn't, and we get an in-party fight).
Lyntermas 2nd Aug 2012, 9:40 AM edit delete reply
Yeah, once we've cleared out the attic, rang the bell, and checked the wine ritual room for bombs, then the temple should be "safe" as we head for the graveyard. Hopefully we'll find a better way to shut down the operation by looking in their hideout.
ADemonicPresence 31st Jul 2012, 3:49 PM edit delete reply
a terrible, desperate situation that is turned around by quick thinking?

okay, a few things you need to know:
1 we found some source books for a system called Spycraft. think ‘James Bond d20’ but the way we ran it... have you ever watched Archer? it was exactly that, without the sex.
2 eventually i’ll tell the whole story (it’s really embarrassing), but just keep in mind that my character and our sniper are the original members of the group and deserve every horrible thing that happens to them.
3 my character, Shades, is a hacker and burned his entire resource budget into a single item: a special pair of goggles, “the Shades”, that contain all of the gadgetry for glasses in the book (and some houseruled ones). x-ray, infrared, nightvision, an absurd zoom function, you name it. he’s also incredibly paranoid and has negligible combat prowess
4 there is a traitor among us. it’s actually the whole point of the campaign
5 all of the evidence always points directly at me. always. ‘cause he’s shady as all hell. (do you get the pun yet?)
6 i had recently upgraded the shades with features that the rest of the party did not know about.

now, this takes place towards the end of our second campaign, and was the reveal of the traitor. he was [i]magnificent[-i].

so the group is me (the hacker), the sniper, an explosives expert, a fairly versatile gunslinger, and this game’s version of a diplomancer. every one of them is leagues better in combat than i am.

we are meeting an agent who went AWOL because we think he knows who the traitor is. also the explosives expert managed to find himself a tank that he refused to exit

we enter the building the agent is in, but the explosives expert stayed outside because his tank wouldn’t fit through the door, and start talking to him. he, of course thinks i’m the traitor.

just before the agent starts shooting at us or telling us anything actually important, the explosives expert opens fire on the building with his tank, then smashes through the wall to see who’s still alive and fires again. (guess who’s the traitor!)

we are all half dead. he’s in a tank.

i take stock of everything available and ask the DM why my character, who’s useless in combat, is the only one who can resolve this situation

DM’s response: “YOU CAN!?”

i calmly point out that those new features in the shades that the party didn’t know about were a laser cutter and hypnotic lenses.

after desperate struggle where we all almost die (turns out he was laying explosives everywhere, who’d a thunk it), i manage to cut my way into the tank and hypnotize him into not doing anything while the others capture him
Destrustor 31st Jul 2012, 4:39 PM edit delete reply
Oh man this might be long and confusing.
Background details:
-My DM has this annoying NPC called Yalayum(or however it's supposed to be spelled), who's basically the embodiment of chaotic, karmic balance. An immortal, multi-cloned yuan-ti going through the universe like a random, almost-omni-present Discord with a mean streak. Every time you kill one of his many simultaneous clones(damn near impossible to do as he's at least level 30), its soul just goes back to the original Yalayum with all the exp and knowledge it had accumulated. We hate that bastard with a passion but there's litterally nothing we can do.
-If you are familiar with the webcomic called "Twokinds"(which my DM is a huge fan of), My DM made the comic's templars the bad guys of the campaign, except ramped up to way more than eleven and mixed with the templar-type people who emprison mages in towers in the first Dragon Age game's mage storyline. Haven't played it so can't really be clearer, sorry.
So basically they hate mages, want a monopoly on magic and enslave everything they don't like.
So now for the story:
We were fighting against the templars in an apparently losing war, since they pretty much owned the entire MULTIVERSE and had more power and resources than ALL THE GODS COMBINED. Litterally. We were running a refugee planet in the home plane of a god whom we were best friends with.
So at one point we hear that the Master Templar is about to unleash a devilish plan. We go there to stop it. Turns out it's a trap and our attempt to stop him was part of the plan. He manages to soultrap a goddess and use her as a power source, while simultaneously pissing off her more powerful husband( the templars worshipping his evil psychotic side).
So then we have to find a way to free the goddess and bring her back to her husband before he snaps and starts killing the universe, thus also fueling the templars.
So while we search the worlds, we casually come across Yalayum. I swear my DM made him a random encounter for shits and giggles. So we come up to him, knowing we couldn't even flee if we wanted to, and start talking politely to make sure we don't offend him in any way. During the conversation my idiot brother randomly asks him "hey could you curse him(me)?" Yalayum says yes and just up and curses me.
And what a curse it was: every morning I'd wake up polymorphed into a random creature until the next day, and so on until forever. Digging around for ways to get rid of this curse we eventually learn that: 1: the curse is permanent and will haunt me forever, 2:It's on my very soul so dying and coming back to life won't even solve it, 3:most GODS can't even lift it, 4:It's contagious and any soul that comes in contact with mine in any way catches it too, 5:It'll only end on the day that I end up with the body I hate the most, a lifeform I despise so much that I can't possibly imagine spending even a second as. At that point, the curse will settle and I'll be stuck in that horrible body forever and not even Yalayum himself will be able to lift it.
Y'know, a casual, friendly curse.
So anyway we eventually do find a way to take the goddess's soul back from the Master Templar, but the wizard who can cast the spell to do it says something along the lines of "yes I could, however, you would need to find this Master Templar, bring me to him, and keep him occupied so he can't kill me before I finish casting my spell."
So we figure my psion's "correspondence" power could locate him, since it basically allows me to talk to anyone in existence whom I've already met in person. We get ready for the fight of our lives, the wizard prepares his plane-shift/teleport combo, and I use my power.
Just as I'm doing this, I realise something and excitedly ask the DM: "Wait I'm using my psychic powers on this guy right? So basically my mind is touching his? So my SOUL is in contact with HIS? So he catches my curse?!?!"
The DM, as incredulous as us, replies yes and starts rolling dice for the curse vs the Master Templar. Turns out the curse is just strong enough to start affecting him, and starts turning him into a female member of his most despised slave race. He immediately drops ALL his defenses and focuses every ounce of power he has on fighting the curse.
We 'port right in his face, snatch the soul gem, leave a taunting, mocking note and get the hell out of there while he is too busy fighting the curse to even move.
He did manage to shake off the curse, but by then we were long gone and had brought back the goddess to her husband. We found out not long after that the Master Templar put individual bounties on our heads ranging from twenty to seventy-five BILLION PLATINUM pieces, except on mine since on the day we did this I was a pink-haired little gnome girl and he had no idea it was ME.
In less than five seconds and with the three simple words "Yo, Master Templar!", we absolutely wrecked everything the Master Templar had worked almost ten years for, ruining a once-in-a-lifetime gambit for him, and taking victory out of his hands before he even could do anything with it. And the DM didn't even plan that.
I don't think anyone in the history of anything ever has ever hated anyone else as much as the Master templar hated us that day.
I don't hate Yalayum as much as I did before. :)

Destrustor 1st Aug 2012, 2:59 PM edit delete reply
Hey has there ever been a story time about "your coolest character ever"? Because I'd really like to gloat about the character I played in that story I just told. He was so much fun to play and was just an all-around awesome dude.
Teaser: he wore a beret at all times.
I propose the next story time be about decribing the coolest/most rad/most fun character you've ever played in an RPG.
Who's with me?
Demonu 1st Aug 2012, 9:23 PM edit delete reply
He'll have a hard time beating Dave, the BARDbarian or the Five Fathers Adventuring Party as a group ^^
gindranis 31st Jul 2012, 5:15 PM edit delete reply
ooh, this one time we were up against a mob of plant creatures. It was near the end of the day, so we were out of spells, low on health, standard stuff.
The DM had planned for this mob to be found the next morning, as a strong early encounter. In other words, we were royally f*cked.
Until the fighter tossed a barrel of oil at them, chucked a torch into it and the cleric cast his final spell of the day: Create Water.
To this day, that spell has been houseruled up to lvl 1 by that DM, because of the damage it did.
kriss1989 31st Jul 2012, 6:27 PM edit delete reply
The Entire 4E Campaign I Am Running. The End. No seriously, that's how it goes. Things always go to BUY SOME APPLES and they somehow always turn the tables and win. Their luck, ingenuity, and sheer determination are incredible. And they are underpowered with a lack of magical items.
EdgeOfOblivion 31st Jul 2012, 7:47 PM edit delete reply
Is a GM allowed to post these things? =)

My first full-sized campaign I ran was a story called "Under The Many Eyes", an adventure combining everything under the sun about Dragons (The Many Eyes being a name for Tiamat with her five heads) with the Fred Saberhagen "Twelve Swords of Power" books. The party, early in their adventuring career, attracted the attention of a powerful mage named Vaulthgrymn, who promptly Geased them into fetching the Twelve Swords for him. The group was not happy about this, but given the trouble of not obeying the Geas there's really not a lot they can do.

First thing: the group exploited the wording of the Geas to their advantage. Vaulth only told them to gather the swords; he never explicitly said they had to be delivered. So the party collected some of the swords over about six months' worth of sessions (Helena the Knight claimed Townsaver, Lucas the Binder got Woundhealer, D the Dragon Shaman got Stonecutter, Skyler the Silver Dragon Bard Cohort got Wayfinder, and Dorien the Scout got Farslayer) before Big V finally showed up to collect.

And when he did, the party exploited the fact that he had never Geased them to hand over the weapons by attempting to kick his arse. Which is when Big V revealed that he was a Blue Dragon in disguise. The group managed to hold their own for a while, picking away at him a little bit and chucking Woundhealer around whenever someone took too thorough of a beating or blasting from his spells/breath weapon, until Zoel the Dragonborn Monk noticed that Vaulthgrymn had yet another of the Twelve Swords on his person at the time.

Which is when he rolled an obscenely lucky series of crazy-high grapple rolls to steal the sword, fulfilling the requirements of the Geas for that day, AND nicking Dragonslicer for the party. Which he promptly tossed to Helena - who thankfully had not had anyone helpless to defend, and thus was not locked into using Townsaver - who then proceeded to layeth the knightly smackdown on Big V. He teleported away.
Curb 31st Jul 2012, 7:54 PM edit delete reply
We were running a test campaign in Star Wars using my Outrider concept, Jedi without Jedi training, a new Force Discipline. We ran into trouble when our group, three Outriders and a Rouge Jedi, find out the Jedi Council wants her back for questioning. Well we end up running from a pair of young Jedi, chasing us through Cloudcity till one of use gets the idea to use their Force powers to start jamming doors behind us, slowing the Jedi down. The GM was a bit surprised we didn't think of this sooner and dropped a bomb on us. One cargo bay from our ship, we run into a pack of Sith Acolytes! The ensuing lightsaber and blaster battle took almost too long, the Jedi were closing when our pilot got an idea. As we ran through the hatch, he set off the fire suppression system in the bay we left, holding up the Jedi long enough for us to get off Cloudcity. They would end up chasing us for four sessions till the Council called them back for some other assignment.
Bronymous 31st Jul 2012, 9:04 PM edit delete reply
God damn stories. Why is it now, the one day I can't check updates, that everyone just pulls these epic length tales of intrigue out of their asses? So much scrolling.

I don;t have anything, btw. See Zarhon.
Demonu 1st Aug 2012, 12:21 PM edit delete reply
I apologize for any trend I may have started :)
Hennith95 31st Jul 2012, 10:03 PM edit delete reply
Well, I wasn't exactly the one who turned this in my party's favor, but it did end up working out quite well. (As usual, sorry for the wall of text. This particular story was a huge event for me.)

The overarching plot of our game involved the bad guys trying to bring our wizard over to the dark side, which they had done once before in his backstory. At the beginning of a boss fight with one of the villains, he cast some sort of spell on our wizard, who failed his will save, and ended up standing in the middle of the battlefield, radiating dark energy. The rest of the party moved away, trying to take down henchmen or the boss, but my ranger was very protective of the wizard, so she stayed near him and tried to snap him out of it. While he didn't attack, touching the wizard at all caused my character to be hurt by more than half of her hit points.

At this point, the boss started throwing around magic spells willy-nilly, not really caring if he hit the wizard. The rest of the party spread out even more, but I stayed within just enough range of the wizard so that I could run in and cast a healing spell if needed.

Unfortunately, the next spell cast by the boss was Chain Lightning. The only members of our party within 30 feet of each other (and thus the only targets the boss thought would be worth it,) were the wizard and me. I failed my reflex save. The DM rolled a handfull of d6, and then my character was dead. Negative-twenty-four-hitpoints-dead.

This was my first ever character death, so I was understandably distressed, but apparently not as much as the wizard was. The DM decided that the wizard had broken free of the mind-affecting spell he'd been under; partly because of the shock from Chain Lightning, and mainly because my character, probably the closest thing he had to a friend in our party, HAD JUST BEEN STRUCK DEAD 20 FEET IN FRONT OF HIM.

Now that the party didn't have to maneuver around the wizard, and the boss was running low on spells, the fight was over pretty quickly. Our cleric didn't have Raise Dead prepared, but the wizard was able to call in a favor from his god to get my ranger raised anyway. The experience we got for fighting off the boss was about half of the level that I had lost from dying, and the DM gave me the rest of the exp because I opted to help my party members before worrying about myself.

As a fun side note, the DM told me I could make up whatever I wanted for what happened to my character during the few minutes she was dead and her soul was in the realm of her god. My ranger worshiped Ehlonna, whose symbol is typically a unicorn. So, I decided that my ranger had a short conversation with Ehlonna, who appeared in the form of a white (possibly very light pink) unicorn, and sounded like Princess Celestia. ^_^
The Guest 1st Aug 2012, 8:12 AM edit delete reply
So you helped the party to victory using the Magic of Friendship (tm)? And then met Princess Celestia who is your patron Goddess? Brohoof.
Hennith95 2nd Aug 2012, 9:52 PM edit delete reply
(\ *Brohoof*

Even better, the wizard's player can't stand MLP, but he acknowledges that his character's personality is pretty much the same as Twilight's at the beginning of the first episode. :)
Cain 31st Jul 2012, 10:30 PM edit delete reply
ok, Ranubis, do you remember any? I need to find my folder of stories... If I find one, I'll post it here, but I may not have one for this theme...
Rokas 1st Aug 2012, 5:26 AM edit delete reply
Usually don't have much of a story to tell, but in this case of reversing a bad turn of luck...

Basically, been playing a campaign in a homebrew system my friend came up with, set in a combination spacefaring/post-apocalyptic setting a generation after the galaxy's two biggest powers basically wasted each other with superweapons, nukes, orbital bombardment, genetically-engineered attack beast, the whole nine yards. We've been running it for a couple years now, and we've scavenged some interesting tech, as well as a medium cruiser for our ship (took it from a bunch of pirates who tried boarding our old ship).

Anyway, we had just gotten done dealing with a hijacking situation that we stumbled across, and since most of us play good kind of characters (no alignment system but we all like to be the "good guys") we'd gone in and helped. Well, one of the hijacked ships had a rich family on board, and they ask us to help them get their son back from a cult of assassins hiding out on a rogue planet in deep space. We're kinda leery of it, given the whole "assault an enemy base and get the target out alive" thing, but we decide to take it since the family is offering a lot of money, and says they've hired other ships to help out.

So we go and get outfitted with the advance they give us, get all dialed up, and then Jump (most FTL is like Warping in Star Trek, but we had a special jump system that was instantaneous but made everyone sick and immobile for a time after using it. Nice GTFO of Dodge trick) to the rally point to meet with the other ships to make sure the assassins don't get wind of us gathering up... Only to find out that the family's head of security sold us out to another, older enemy of ours - some spider-race lady who was pissed we helped her old mate save their children from being turned into some kind of ritualistic stew for her to eat. We end up being surrounded by three cruisers equal in power to ours, they're ready and waiting, and we're all still suffering from jump sickness.

It looks like the end, but our comm officer's (read: diplomancer) NPC brother, a kind of Kwisatch Haderach (I know I misspelled that, don't care), had given her some vials of a mystery concoction some time before with the instructions "you'll know when to use them." Well, she uses one herself, gives the others to the key members of the crew - our captain/pilot, my character, the gun-nut gunnery officer, and I think the engineer - and we proceed to start laying into the Spider-Lady's ship while our diplomancer uses her charisma to persuade the other two ships to turn around and run. Of course, that wasn't until after the first wave attacks, so we took a really heavy beating, but in the end I rolled a critical hit on the Spider-Lady's ship and blew it the frack up. Was really satisfying, too, since this creepy alien had been hounding us from time to time at just the wrong times. We all did a little cheer when she bit the dust.

Then the GM drops the bomb: turns out even though Spider-Lady had ended up becoming an outcast of sorts for pursuing her vendetta against us, killing her like that meant that some of her people would be honor-bound to carry on and try to kill us after the two fleeing ships bring word of her death back to their planet.

Now, we like being good guys, but we can be pretty damn ruthless when it gets necessary. So we turn around and start chasing the fleeing ships, though it's a race against time as our ship suffered engine damage and was now slower than them, but we still time to engage. We also had the engineer - our backup pilot - take out the fighter we had stashed in our cargo hold and join in, and after a few tense combat rounds, we ended up wailing the snot out of the two ships until they blew up.

Now, thing is, we had a problem: the family had contracted us to rescue their son, but their chief of security had sold him to the assassins first, then sold us out to Spider-Lady, and most likely was ready and waiting with a cover story if we went straight back and told the family we were jumped. Diplomancer double-checks this with a precog skill her species has, and since the family has connections to half the planets around us, we're screwed.

So we decide to go in with the rescue plan anyway, without backup, and our ship half shot away, not to mention all of our expendable ship-to-ship ordnance used up and all but two of our energy weapons blasted away. So instead of going in guns blazing, we shut everything down and drift in on low power to avoid detection, and use a ship escape pod as a makeshift drop pod to land our ground team near the assassins' base. After subduing (i.e. blasting away) the guards at an airlock, we move through the base and run into our rescue target and two other cultist "inductees", drugged to the gills and being escorted by six assassins for some dumb ritual or something. Luckily, we had flashbangs and a couple of us had decent melee skills (yeah, it got that close) and we took out the assassins, and lo and behold, the marks are so drugged they listen to our orders.

The rest of the base mission was fairly easy stealth rolls to get to the base's hanger, where we had to blast some more guards to keep them from launching any craft, and then stole a small freighter to make our escape. Once we were clear, our home ship launched a nuclear missile we'd found (and been hoarding/hiding since they were so freakin' rare and illegal) and blasted the enemy hanger and surface part of the base. We woulda stayed to finish the job, but a rather unfriendly looking heavy cruiser belonging to the assassins came in and we beat a hasty retreat.

So in the end of it, we exposed the rat security officer, saved the son, and nuked some drugged up assassin cultists after getting half our ship blown away and nearly being killed by Spider-Lady (who had monologued about how she was going to eat us alive). Not a bad turnaround, especially since the family was so grateful they paid for our ship to be refitted.

And that doesn't even include the time we had to keep a secret organization of androids from activating a series of moon-sized superweapons in a bid to wipe out all organic life in that arm of the galaxy. Big turnaround there, too, since our own android had hijacked our own freakin' ship just before. (She didn't go bad, just wanted to stop the other androids herself since they were corrupted copies of her.)
Zodo 1st Aug 2012, 7:34 AM edit delete reply
My Ironclaw character, Leonard Arlotte, Hero at Large (a raccoon swashbuckler) was crouched behind a bush with a female companion (no not doing that! [this time]). On the opposite side were six bad guys with crossbows, looking for us. The situation looked grim.

Leonard, making the most of his Heroic, Overconfident, Show-off flaws, comes up with a cunning plan: "I'll jump out. They'll shoot at me, and miss. You run away while they reload."

Leonard was not the most brilliant of warriors.

So he jumps out, I roll his Speed+Acrobatics... and look at a whole bunch of d12s, all showing 1s. A botch.

Leonard's cloak gets caught on the bush as he leaps out, and he lands flat on his back. The six crossbowmen all fire at the prone raccoon.

And miss.

Even with penalties for being prone, Leonard manages to dodge the crossbows. He and his companion run away while the crossbowmen try to reload.

Overconfidence is never reduced by fluky success.
darkwulf23 1st Aug 2012, 11:37 AM edit delete reply
Bear with me, this is a long one. My party was just beginning a 4e campaign in a cursed village where people kept on disappearing. Our party consisted of Quoben, a shifter runepriest who doesn't trust sellswords, Carric, an elf ranger who escaped from a band of orcs, Mordred, a human warlock, our token evil teammate, Mother, a warforged swordmage who can only reason in cold logic, and myself, Mikal, an illusionist mage stage performer. Now this was the very beginning where not one of us knows each other, so the party hasn't even formed yet. Currently we are among a crowd where the local priest is displaying a pile of gold in a magical glass box and said he will give it to the individuals responsible for solving the disappearances. Naturally this attracts several thugs who want the money, one of which took the priest hostage. Now our DM told us either you can use your skill checks to end this peacefully or engage them in a fight. Most of us decided to skill check them just for the challenge.
darkwulf23 1st Aug 2012, 12:01 PM edit delete reply
First attempt: While the thug was holding the priest hostage Mother(who the player was the only one at the table who wanted to fight) began to taunt and intimidate the thug. She told him that the priest has information that she needs about the assignment and hope that if he leaves he will return with a blade that could actually pierce her outer skin.

Mikal took a more diplomatic approach, explaining to the thug how foolish it was to threaten a priest surrounded by sellswords who would kill him for the sake of the priest or the money and witnesses who would will tell the guards his identity. He went on further to explain that even if he escapes with the then others will come after him for justice or the money he has just stole.

Carric simply decided to look intimidating while Quoben positioned himself behind the priest and create a rune that can help should the violence escalate.

Mordered used the crowd to sneak around and observe with morbid fascination.

The rest of us observe a small flicker in the crowd as the thug was thrown away from the priest and knocked out cold. From the crowd a man abolished the thug for his idiocy while grabbing a woman next to him to hold as a hostage, while other men appear to threaten the priest and the crowd.
darkwulf23 1st Aug 2012, 12:36 PM edit delete reply
Second attempt: This time Mikal did not bother with diplomacy, knowing that they were beyond reason and only wanted the gold, so instead he used the paranoia that the village is suffering through to scare the leader away. Using ghost sound Mikal then whispered a frightening message in the thugs ear, which was "Blood, we smell blood. Sweet blood, tasty blood. We desire it, we yearn for it. Give us your blood, feed us, we're starving."

Right afterwords Mikal decided to use ghost whisper to coordinate with some of the sell swords in the area to organize a united front should it come to violence. First he started with the shifter priest and convinced him to try to talk the leader down. Quoben reluctantly did as he was asked, not sure if he should be trusting Mikal but saw no other opportunity. He then threatened the leader, saying that should he harm the woman then he will hunt the leader down.

Mother took it on herself to take guard over the gold, warning the thugs that she sees the woman's life as expendable and that if they approach the gold she will cut them down, reasoning that it will be better to kill the thugs now before they harm more people in the future. Mikal whispered to her that he may need her to fight and if they do, she needs to let the local priest protect the gold while she fights with the group. Mother was on board with this but decided to taunt the thugs further by daring them to attack her, something that was counterproductive to Mikal's plan but can still be worked with.

Then Mikal whispered to Carric, telling him that he may have to cast a spell that would cause the thug to fall and should he need to Carric was to make sure the hostage escaped. Mikal then sent another whisper to convince the woman to woman to run the first chance she got.

Mordred sent out a spell and simply waited.

Finally Mikal sent out another whisper to the thug. "Your blood smells good, it smells sweet, it smells tangy, can we feed off of it, can we consume it?"

The thug started acting nervous and erratic, waving a knife around before pressing it against the woman's throat. He then had the thugs take their own hostages because the observing crowd planted themselves close to the gang like dumbasses.
darkwulf23 1st Aug 2012, 12:51 PM edit delete reply
Third attempt: Mikal then cast a spell called Phantom chasm, an illusion spell that convinces all enemies in the area that a bottomless hole opened up underneath them, causing them to fall prone. And at the same time Mikal cast the ghost sound to scream out for everybody to hear. "Tear the flesh, rip the flesh. Drink the blood, feast on the marrow. We hunger for it, we thirst for it."

Mordred took this time to reveal himself from the crowd to reenforce what Mikal said earlier and to convince them to run.

Mother on the other hand was frustrated that they were allowed to run and she voiced her opinion out loud, saying that they should be killed on the spot less they escape and harm someone else and said that the hostages were an acceptable loss. Mikal had to try to rein her in before she exposed the plan.

Luckily enough the plan worked. The leader was left on the ground flailing his harm and screaming incoherently, while the woman ran to Quoben. The rest of the thugs with a combination of what Mordred and Mother said ran.

And so the unformed party had managed to diffuse a hostage situation without any sort of fighting and despite/because of Mother's call for blood shed. Though to be honest, I still don't know half of what Mordred did back there.
ShadowDragon8685 1st Aug 2012, 1:14 PM edit delete reply
I do have a story along those lines. The very first game of the Star Wars RPG I ever got to play, back in the bad old Revised Core Rulebook days.

I was joining a game in-progress, and created a 6th-level Twi'lek Scoundrel, with emphasis on piloting and jury-rigging/scrapping/electronics hacking/all the good stuff. The group were (mainly) Jedi on Coruscant; this was like, days or weeks before Order 66, but during the Clone Wars.

The Jedi were investigating Bad Stuff down in the undercity of Coruscant; the game before the group met my character had ended with a member of the group getting hurt, as they all fell far down in the city's underbelly, into levels of the city long since abandoned. So the GM brought me in as being nearby with my airspeeder van, and I went running to their aid with a medkit. That's how we met; I flew them back to the Temple to make their reports, the Jedi Order was nice enough to repay me by fixing my (rustbucket clunker) airspeeder van. Then I volunteered to fly them down into the undercity again to continue their investigations.

Now, we descend into the depths, and find out that the bad guys... Are big bug-fugly lizard guys who exclusively use projectile weapons because they're too primitive to use blasters. Things like machine guns and chain guns. This SEEMS like the GM going easy - in the Star Wars RPGs, unpowered (basic, D&D level) weapons like basic knives or a bow and arrows deal one die of damage, heavier weapons and powered melee weapons (guns, primitive energy weapons, vibroblades, lightsabers,) deal two dice, and modern energy weapons (blasters) dealt three dice; but the Jedi were unhappy because it meant they never got to use the classic Jedi redirect-blasters-with-lightsaber-blades trick.

At one point, as we're closing in, this big, nasty, melee-oriented mother with a vibro-spear jumps onto the top of my airvan as we're going through a tunnel, and is expecting to stab at us through the roof... I just pull up and accelerate and grind him into lizardburger along the tunnel roof, but this makes us a sitting duck for the bad guy's defensive blaster turret (someone in here is smart?!), and they shoot me down. We don't go down easy; the Jedi managed to take down an enemy speeder-skiff in the round in which we're falling, but the crash knocks them all out - but not me, because I was in the pilot's position and had made note of the fact that I had fastened all of my crash harnesses before we undertook this adventure. So I took no damage thanks to the harness and airbag.

I was pissed, alone, my ride was junk (I mean actual junk, not flying junk,) and... There was the crashed enemy skiff literally right against the front of my van, its crew all thrown out and down into the depths, with its pintle-mounted blaster just sitting there. I used a scoundrel-y skill to squirm out of my crash restraints as a free action and leap onto the skiff, take command of the pintle weapon, and I aim at the turret. Being pissed off and uncaring about the enemies closing in on me, I tell the GM that I'm going to spend a Force Point to augment the attack - and what the hell, I'm not a Jedi or anything, I tell the GM I'm going to accept a Dark Side Point to bump the FP's bonus from 2d6 to 3d6. I blast the hell out of the turret guy who shot my ride down, then some bounty hunter-ish dude drops me with a stunner.

AThen the GM looks at my character sheet and notes that, yes, I did take the Force Sensitive feat as my first-level feat.

When my character comes to, we've all been separated, and I've been given an amulet of some kind. The bad guy, it turns out, was a Sith (not Palpatine, more on that later,) and wanted to train me. Fortunately for me, the other players had all leveled, and the GM went through solo sessions with me (and sometimes the others,) during the week, as I explored his hideout, learned about his stuff, learned about the Force (and trying to not stray off the Light path despite the big bonuses the Dark Side had to offer.)

Long story short, by the time the next full session rolls around, I've leveled to 7, and multiclassed into Jedi. I have a lightsaber (red, but it's a lightsaber,) I've used my extensive scoundrel skills to take advantage of the fact that neither said Sith Lord nor anyone under his command had a Force-blighted clue what the words "Information Security" meant to thoroughly subvert his automated defenses (all the computers and his support droids were working for me, and I had a Droideka bodyguard,) I'd been using the monitors to watch his attempts to break the other Jedi to the Dark Side and give them support so they could pass the insane challenges he threw at them without resorting to the Dark Side, and I'd subverted one of the other apprentices (an NPC) enough to the point where she was ready to abandon the cause and just leg it.

By the time the session rolled around, the group was re-armed, had droid backup (Droidekas, in any edition of the Star Wars RPG, are fucking terrifying when they're coming at you. This holds true for the GM when the droideka is under the player's control and coming for his NPCs,) I owned his complex and had shut the lizardman grunts in their barracks and gassed them unconscious, and for some reason, I was toting around a rocket launcher, just in case they came at us with a vehicle too big for my Droideka's blasters to go through.

They had surprises for us, of course, it wasn't a cakewalk by any stretch and I'm probably understating the other players' roles in engineering our escape, quite possibly largely due to the fact that I wasn't privy to all of their solo sessions with the GM. Anyway, the point is, we deal with a few droids he'd kept in reserve, off the main grid, so I couldn't hack them, some lizards that were outside of the barracks when I sealed them, we slice up the gunslinger-bounty-hunter guy (my Droideka got badly damaged in the process; not scrapped, but I had to order it to fall back out of the fighting,) and we confront the Sith Lord and his apprentice in the hangar.

Sithy's plan is to order his apprentice to delay us while he makes his escape. This is likely to be entirely possible; Apprentice is wearing full-body Cortosis heavy power armor, and wielding a cortosis electro-staff. Cortosis, by the way, is the metal that resists lightsaber blades, AND shuts them off! Between that, the fact that Apprentice dude also has Jedi levels (so he can use the active block technique to block our swings and shut down our lightsabers,) and has good Force checks capable of resisting our Force talents, this is shaping up to be a nasty fight.

I roll initiative and roll a 19; with all my Scoundrel levels, and my high Dexterity score going for me, I easily beat everyone, even the bad guys. At this point, I remembered I was still carrying the rocket launcher. Note: I don't have ANY heavy weapons skill... But it's a ROCKET LAUNCHER. Even hitting NEAR him will deal splash damage, which is my reasoning, and I tell the GM this. He reminds me that I loaded the launcher with anti-tank rounds that deal minimal splash, but ignore all forms of Hardness and energy barriers.

I say to hell with it and let the dice fly. I roll a natural 20 - automatic "hit." Now, in the RCR edition, there weren't Hit Points, there were Fatigue (something along those lines) Points, which were basically "hero points" that let you dodge out of the way of an attack; basically, ablative hit points, and there were WOUND points, which were equal to 10 plus your Constitution bonus. Wound was how much your physical, actual body, could survive, and they were low for everyone.

Subsequent to rolling the 20 to hit, I think this is going to make this easier. The auto-hit means the damage is going to his Fatigue, which would wipe out a lot of it. (This guy had a SHITTON of fatigue points.) Then I roll to confirm critical, and the dice come up another 20.

On the instance of a confirmed critical (which a double-twenty definitely qualifies as,) damage goes straight to Wound, and I was shooting more DICE of damage than he had Wound Points. So I nailed this Sith Apprentice jackass right in the goddamn chest with an anti-tank rocket, and he's Flatfooted, so he can't use any of his powers that would let him redirect or block it and survive. And since it's an anti-tank rocket, all that power armor damage resistance is just outright ignored.

So I blew him to shreds, and the rest of the party jumped on the Sith Lord with their lightsabers (he'd rolled a 1 on his initiative,) and manually disassembled him (remember what I said about being flatfooted and unable to use defensive powers?) Unfortunately for us, he was an ancient Sith ghost possessing young bodies, so that wasn't the end of him, but even so, him and his apprentice were worth more than enough XP to send all of us straight to the middle of 8th level in one shot.

So to recap, the end of the session before that one had ended with all of us in chains, and the end of this one had the Big Bad Sith Lord of the campaign having been shredded physically and forced to flee in fear for his undead life, his minions captured, his apprentices mostly subverted or having abandoned his cause, his hideout in our hands, his Droideka loyal to me, and he'd completely Force Screwed the pooch when he decided it would be a good idea to teach me to use the Force and to have Weapon Proficiency with Lightsabers in the hopes of turning me bad.

Post-Script: You know what's aggrevating? Learning that X forum/comment form doesn't allow you to post more than an arbitrary number of characters (one thousand, in this case) unless you're logged in. You know what's REALLY annoying? When it blanks the whole fragging entry field when you click back! You know what's more annoying than that? Having to dig the submitted text out of ram with a hex editor and then reformat it for readability.

But I did it, for you guys, to share the story of the time I oneshotted a BBEG Sith with a rocket launcher thanks to the dice commiting mutiny against the GM.
Ranubis 1st Aug 2012, 8:04 PM edit delete reply
Note from a survivor from Stairc's Pony Tales campaign:

Nothing like throwing off the party for a few hours by confronting them with a villian out of freaking nowhere.

On a related note, I now believe we have a reincarnation of Torrin in our campaign.
Lyntermas 1st Aug 2012, 8:20 PM edit delete reply
May God have mercy on your pony souls.

Wait, you met a bigger threat than PONY SATAN?
Ranubis 1st Aug 2012, 11:49 PM edit delete reply
Ok, session is now over.

Basically started out ok, took a major nosedive a few minutes in, leveled out in the middle, dove even more afterwards, and then somehow we all managed to make the ending so awesome we leveled up! Go teamwork!
Stairc 2nd Aug 2012, 11:12 AM edit delete reply

I guarantee that Torrin has not and will not be reincarnated in any game I run any time soon. I'm enjoying concocting new villains and there's no way I'm going to render the players' two campaigns-worth-of-battles meaningless by just bringing him back in a new form.

They crushed him and it was glorious. He's gone.

But that's not to say some other villain you meet might be even worse.

Chronologist 6th Sep 2012, 7:25 PM edit delete reply
Well, there was that one time that our group had to take on a vampire spellcaster in control of an entire undead army (not Ravenloft, surprisingly). Sure, we were competent, but he was about 10 levels higher than us, and things were looking grim. One of the other players decided that attacking him directly in his castle was the best plan. So, we blew our money on a scroll of Greater Teleport, scryed the area above his castle, teleported there, and the sorcerer feather-falled the party through the roof into his main throne room.

At this point, we were basically dead. No less that six major demons flanked us, and the vampire lord was waiting. This is the point where my Cleric decided to end it. He'd researched an Exalted spell that basically nuked everything evil within a 100-foot radius. The material component? Your soul. Not like "I sold my soul to a demon", I mean you died and your character's soul was obliterated forever from reality.

I didn't bat an eyelash, and my character laughed as he took the bastard with him. He was canonized later that month. Sure, the Vampire Lord came back, but they always come back.