Page 160 - Paradigm Shift

11th Aug 2012, 6:00 AM in Dragonshy
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Paradigm Shift
Average Rating: 4.75 (4 votes)
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Author Notes:

Newbiespud 11th Aug 2012, 6:00 AM edit delete
Your regularly scheduled extra-length comic will be appearing in Tuesday's update instead of today.

In other news, Everfree Northwest is now less than a week away! I assumed I had plans to carpool to and from the convention, but now those plans aren't looking 100% sure. If there are any fellow bronies around Redmond, Washington who wouldn't mind doing some carpooling, send me an email at

Notice: Guest comic submissions are open! Guidelines here. Deadline: January 27th, 2023.



darkwulf23 11th Aug 2012, 6:04 AM edit delete reply
Yep, bluff the hell out of the dragon and pray to the princesses that the dragon doesn't figure it out.
darkwulf23 11th Aug 2012, 6:09 AM edit delete reply
Course there is always intimidation but dragons have a natural resistance against intimidation. It's called being the biggest buckin' thing in the cave.
Digo 11th Aug 2012, 6:46 AM edit delete reply
Yeah, intimidation isn't easy. Much better to appeal to a dragon's ego. :D
Chris 11th Aug 2012, 6:10 AM edit delete reply
I suppose that's a better plan than "seduce the dragon and pray to the princess he doesn't have any physiologically unrealistic expectations, which, based on Rarity's expression in the last panel, appears to be what she's insinuating.
Katarani 11th Aug 2012, 9:10 AM edit delete reply
Shouldn't that be physiologically REALISTIC expectations? Ponies are awfully little.
darkwulf23 11th Aug 2012, 9:42 AM edit delete reply
No what he said is right.

And many dragons can shapeshift into any race they feel like, which is how a half-dragon can exist.

For example...
Anon 11th Aug 2012, 11:25 AM edit delete reply
Whirlwind is Spike's son? o.0
darkwulf23 11th Aug 2012, 6:17 PM edit delete reply
Daughter, Whirlwind is a girl.

And that's just one theory, though a popular one among bronies.
Bronymous 12th Aug 2012, 10:39 AM edit delete reply
Is it? Because I've heard dozens of popular theories on countless subjects, but that one has so far eluded me.
darkwulf23 12th Aug 2012, 1:56 PM edit delete reply
Sorry, I meant those who play skylanders. A fun game if a bit generic but hell if you want 100% completion you will end up spending a couple hundred on thirty two skylander toys.
Anon 12th Aug 2012, 9:23 PM edit delete reply
So many Mary Sue possibilities! Instead of making a alicorn that have magic and can fly they will make a dragon unicorn/alicorn hybrid that can use magic, fly, breath fire, and have ultra resistant skin!
darkwulf23 13th Aug 2012, 9:30 PM edit delete reply
banjo2E 14th Aug 2012, 12:09 AM edit delete reply
Pfft, if you really want a broken character just make a good!Nightmare. Shapeshifting and possession give you all the powers you'll ever need.
Loyal2Luna 14th Aug 2012, 11:01 AM Pfft. edit delete reply
Hardly, all you need for a broken Character is to have Pinkie Multi-class as a Red Mage... imagine it... the meta-gaming awarness...paired with fourth wall breaking...
*reality shatters*
Hayatecooper 11th Aug 2012, 6:32 AM edit delete reply
Flirtation Rarity is best Rarity.
Also Newbiespud. You have the best comment sections.
Kris_The_Guest 11th Aug 2012, 6:34 AM edit delete reply
Uggggg! The only MLP convention nearby and I can't go because my mom refuses to hire a dog sitter and my brother (Who introduced me to the show) doesn't want to go. And everyone in my family knows, if he doesn't want to do anything, we can't do it because he's "the man of the house!"
JohnBobMead 11th Aug 2012, 10:12 AM Attitude adjustment? edit delete reply
Sounds like your brother has ego problems, meh.

Me, I just found out about the con and it's sold out, so no go; it might have been fun, more's the pity! I mean, SeaTac is pretty close to Tacoma, yes? (Having just moved to Tacoma from Portland)
Kris_The_Guest 11th Aug 2012, 5:09 PM edit delete reply
I live in North Carolina. One hour away from the capital. It seems like nothing happens here!
Bronymous 12th Aug 2012, 11:10 AM edit delete reply
The southeast: the Non-Broniest region in the country. We got nothing, not even close.
Zapapplejam 13th Aug 2012, 11:13 AM edit delete reply
Oddly enough, I live in North Carolina, only two hours away from the capital. I can confirm that nothing happens here.
Guest 14th Aug 2012, 11:03 AM Georgia edit delete reply
I live in Georgia, USA. So little happens here that suck away the fun things in all of our neighboring state like a black hole of depression and stupidity.

... Except Dragoncon. We got that.
Boden King 11th Aug 2012, 6:34 AM edit delete reply
Oh master of sideways thinking, I humbly ask for your aid. Oh Raxon, please hear my cry.
Lyntermas 11th Aug 2012, 6:45 AM edit delete reply
No, no, no, Boden King. You have to summon him like Beetlejuice. Raxon, Raxon, Raxon!
Raxon 11th Aug 2012, 8:29 AM edit delete reply
You have called, and I have answered!

Pinkie Pie makes a diplomacy check to seduce the dragon.

She walks in, clearly hampered by what she's wearing, helpless, completely at his mercy. She even gift wrapped her body for him, so he can enjoy the satisfaction of opening his new toy himself. She gives him the eyes and tells him that she's all his, and all he has to do is promise to leave Ponyville afterward.
Ramsus 11th Aug 2012, 11:53 AM edit delete reply
Screw that, let's just summon Beetlejuice!
Raxon 11th Aug 2012, 5:30 PM edit delete reply
I'm friends with Ambush Bug, will he do?
Boden King 11th Aug 2012, 5:47 PM edit delete reply
Cool, it worked. Anyway, my party and I are about to face this changeling, on top of the normal problems where he can become anyone he can also affect reality. A small sample is when he created a rock from a couple of miles away to destroy our Orb of Far Seeing. How do we defeat one who can change the rules?
Raxon 12th Aug 2012, 1:41 PM edit delete reply
A wise fortune cookie once said, "In order to dance, you must learn to lead."

Pretty cool, huh? I love chinese food almost as much as I love mexican. Spicy goodness, and they have so many ways to fry a peanut, it'll make your head spin.

Anyway, on to your problem. Lots of adventuring tools alter reality on a small level. Today, we'll look at the humble Immovable Rod.

An immovable rod is a simple iron(Though if you enchant it yourself, there is no reason why you couldn't use mithral, or even something harder.) with a button on the end, enchanted so that that it stays put when the button is pressed, and becomes a normal metal rod again when the button is pressed a second time. Obviously, this is very useful as an anchor. You can tie rope to it to climb down a cliff or building if there's nothing sturdy nearby. You can use it to hold doors shut, or reinforce barricades.

Let's take a moment to look at the barricade option in further detail. The base DC for moving an immovable rod is 30, and the max speed you can move it is ten feet per round. Now, while the individual DC does not increase as you add more rods to the barricade, the effective DC does, because a check is needed for each rob, and if it's a single, solid barricade, then a failure of any one check basically means failure for all of them. This is assuming, of course, that the barricade is being pushed, and not attacked. This would be a poor assumption to make if, for example, you have a pit fiend on your heels, but it would be a good idea to make if the dungeon is flooding, and you need to hold the steel door closed so you don't all drown. One immovable rod can withstand up to 8,000 lbs before the enchantment fails, and it deactivates.

(On a little side note, I recommend you always buy a ball of sturdy twine before you leave town. Get a small winch, and pay double to have the local blacksmith modify it to go on your belt. Invest a point or two in use rope, and make a small harness to go over the end of the immovable rod, with a large knot over the button. Then you can climb down, with the winch letting out plenty of twine. when you reach the bottom, pull the twine, then pull the rope to retrieve your immovable rod. I advocate always having at least one ball of twine, and assorted other random scraps, because they're useful for exactly this type of situation. Your DM will probably let you buy a pouch, and fill it with scrap metal, the stuff the blacksmith can't use. These make excellent one to two ounce weights to tie to the end of your twine to check for traps with.)

Now that we've covered some basic uses, let's look at a few more interesting uses for our immovable rod. Now, let's assume your character weighs less than 8,000 lbs, which is pretty easy. You could take an immovable rod in each hand and raise one rod high above your head, push the button, then pull yourself up to it and raise the other one. Push the button on the higher one, then push the button on the low one. Raise the low one again and press the button. Repeat this process, and you have a ladder tall enough to climb any cliff or wall.

Next, another very interesting use for the immovable rod: Creating a bridge. This can be done in several ways, but I will be explaining only two of the simplest, for brevity. The first is to tie a rope to a rod, along with the twine harness I mentioned earlier, and throw it across the gap. Pull the twine to set it, then set up another rod on your side. Tie the rope off to the immovable rod on your side, and you have a rope you can get across by hanging from it by your hands and making your way across. The second way is even simpler, though you would either need multiple pairs of immovable rods, or some rope to share them with. You simply walk to the edge, raise one bar and press the button. Swing forward and press the button on the second one when it's in front of the first, and then immediately press the button on the first again. Repeat this process, and essentially, you'll be crossing the gap on monkey bars.

Now for a couple more urgent use. You're being chased by the aforementioned pit fiend, and he's gaining. Leave immovable rods about shin height in his path, so that he trips over them. It's a temporary measure, but sometimes all you need is a small delay. Next, rocks are falling, and you're going to die. Place two or more immovable rods above your head and set them. Even if it's not enough to stop them, it will greatly reduce the falling damage dealt to you, and it gives you a much better chance than waiting for the rocks to hit you.

Finally, I will share with you my ultimate use of immovable rods as weapons of mass destruction. You must be a wizard or sorcerer, moderately high level if you're lucky, very high if you're not. Your DM may also require you to take some cleric levels. Research a variant of the Ghost Form spell, so that you can cast it on things other than yourself, and revoke the spell at will. You only need it to last a maximum of two minutes, so ten seconds per level is plenty. DM will probably rule that this is a high level spell, 8th or 9th level sorc/wiz spell. Then try to convince him to reduce this by modifying the spell so that revocation require a verbal component. Next, spend a few months researching a spell to activate any magical item you've personally made via verbal command. This one is optional, as I have described a different option below. Finally, research an Aural Rune spell to allow you to put a rune on an object, and have your voice carried through that rune. sort of like having an enchanted walkie talkie. All these spells together will require at least three spell slots.

Next is the very hard part. You're going to need to get your hands on some of whatever passes for the most insanely strong metal you can get in your particular setting. If you can use plane shift and get yourself a bar of neutronium, awesome. Otherwise, you may need to settle for mithral or adamant or something. Modify the enchantment so that the physical resistance is directly proportionate to the durability of the material. Enchant yourself an immovable rod out of it. If you chose not to research the voice activation spell described above, you'll need to make a custom rod without a button, that's activated by a verbal command. You can use both the activation spell, and the no button modification, but either one should be enough on its own. I recommend the rod with no button, so that the DM can't say that some coincidence caused something to bump the button and cause it to become a normal rod again. Finally, the biggest catch of all, you need to research and enchant a different frame of reference. Instead of your planet, let's make the frame of reference the sun. Now, since the planet revolves around the sun at incredible speeds, this means that by our point of view, the moment you activate it, it becomes an unstoppable bullet.

Once you have your spells prepared, and materials ready, it is time to begin. First, you'll want to put an Aural Rune on your immovable rod. Your preparations are all complete. Now enchant the rod with Ghost Form, and throw it straight down into the ground. Let it fall for thirty to forty five seconds, then revoke the Ghost Form spell. You're aiming for the continental plate you're standing on. Now, activate the immovable rod. Best case scenario, the continental plate holds solid, and will be violently ripped from the planet. Worst case scenario, it just rips through the plate, causing massive earthquakes, and creating a new, highly unstable fault line. Either way, this is a very impressively destructive use for a relatively minor magic item.

In conclusion, do not be afraid to do something completely insane. Take common, seemingly mundane magical items, and pull out all the stops. When logic and reason tell you there's no hope, go beyond the impossible and kick reason to the curb!
Appkes 13th Aug 2012, 1:53 PM edit delete reply
You should do more of these silly Op uses for stuff!
redwings1340 12th Aug 2012, 5:08 PM edit delete reply
Wake up Discord. If you do that, your changeling problem is at worst irrelevant and at best completely gone. Nothing at all can go wrong with this plan.
Colin 12th Aug 2012, 2:45 PM edit delete reply
Telekinesis/Mage Hand is great fun. Your average Hooded Minion won't be able to see once you pull the hood over his eyes,which is your cue to pull his trousers down. ^_^ My Psion last used her TK to throw glue in the eyes of the big bad.
Destrustor 12th Aug 2012, 3:38 PM edit delete reply
My mage/barbarian used TK to throw the enemies at himself while charging, effectively doubling the speed and force of the resulting impact between their heads and his weapon.
And it was a scythe.
And he had improved critical.
Crit for 10x damage!

Also: make a psion.
Take the "body adjustment"(heal self) power.
Take the "contingency" power too.
Cast the body adj. into the contingency, with the clause to trigger the healing being "whenever my HP drops below X value"
Take the "psionic body" (permanence) power too.
Cast the permanence on the contingency itself.
You now have a nigh-unkillable beast who auto-heals whenever he gets a little too beat up. Forever!
It cost me 25000 exp and I had to agree that the body adjustment used its full required amount of psy points every time it went off, and that getting insta-killed(from instant death effects or going excessively deep into the negative HP range at once) prevented it from working, but it was so worth it. And since my trigger was set to cast it when I dropped below 0 HP, I had to take the diehard feat, because I can't heal myself with my mind if I'm unconscious.
I once calculated that with the amount of psy points available and the point-to-HP average values that my little trick gave me, my character had the equivalent of something like 1150 HP at any given time. Despite his "official" max being about 120.

When the DM lets you make insane gambits like that is when the fun really begins.
Lyntermas 12th Aug 2012, 5:04 PM edit delete reply
Hmmm. An opponent who can alter his appearance AND reality? With an effective range of miles? I don't know any real game-breakers in terms of mechanics, but here are a few ideas.

1. Passwords. A good method for knowing who is who is sharing information that you don't volunteer to strangers. Bonus if players don't share their "question and answers" with the others (Bob asks Alice one question, but Peter has to ask Alice a different one). Try setting this up with prominent NPC's as well. It won't work if the changeling's done enough research or "it was the changeling all along", but it helps.

2. Set up anti-scrying measures around yourselves or places or items of interest (like the Orb of Far Seeing). Also, make sure the placement of items shifts around the room at random intervals. (So the rock might fall where the Orb was two hours ago, not where it is now).

3. Unless the changeling is expressly a wizard or a demigod, it is likely that there is some external source of his powers. A deal with the devil, an amulet he wears around his neck, some prophetic loophole. Find out what is and do your best to subvert it.

4. If all else fails, try a Puss-in-Boots. "Well, you're okay, I guess, but it's not like you could summon an anti-magic field or anything."
Ranubis 11th Aug 2012, 6:41 AM edit delete reply
Oh my Alicorn, I just had a thought:

P:"Well, if Diplomacy didn't work for Twilight, and Bluff didn't work for Rarity, then it looks like we've only got one option. Rolling for Intimidate!"

(Challenge to fellow commenters to imagine what an Intimidate would constitute for Pinkie Pie)
Digo 11th Aug 2012, 6:49 AM edit delete reply
She dressed like a clown. That's a +5 to intimidation right there.
masterofgames 11th Aug 2012, 7:06 AM edit delete reply
But that would mean Fluttershy would have to do something different. What, did she take the feat, Background: Daughter of the Dragon King?
Guest 11th Aug 2012, 7:08 AM edit delete reply
I thought that was Rainbow Dash. You get a bonus to Intimidate for a Show of Force right?
Lyntermas 11th Aug 2012, 7:36 AM edit delete reply
Pinkie Pie using Intimidate?

Dragon: And what do you want?
PP: Alright, dragon. I'm going to let you in on a little secret. Something not even my friends know....I know the flow of the universe. And the flow is Funny. As we speak, I am altering the universe to so this situation is no longer governed by Logic or Science, but Funny. If you don't leave now, I'll bring the others in here to see you eating cake and wearing a party hat.
Dragon:...How would that even-
PP: Like I said, Funny, not Logic. So what's it going to be? Peaceful surrender or utter humiliation?
Dragon:...Let's assume I play along with your delusions. So in order for "the universe" to be sated, there has to be a joke?
PP: Yep. And the joke is Pinkie Pie walks in with a silly outfit, jump-cut to Dragon Lair Party.
Dragon: Hmmm. How's this for a joke? Cheerful pony in a ridiculous outfit enters cave, dragon roar is heard, pony walks out with popped balloons and messed up costume and says "It didn't work".
PP: Oh, that would be pretty funny...Wait.
Dragon: ROOOOOAAAAR!!!!!
redwings1340 11th Aug 2012, 9:44 AM edit delete reply
That could very well be what happened in the actual show. I think you've gotten Pinkie's character down pretty well.
XandZero2 11th Aug 2012, 10:16 AM edit delete reply
Ranubis, you guys got this all wrong. Pinkie isn't going to intimidate the dragon. She's going to make a performance check to get on his good side!

Then when they're best of friends, she'll throw him a going away party... and hope he goes away (;
legomaster00156 12th Aug 2012, 1:25 PM edit delete reply
Perform doesn't exist in 4e, so that's not possible.
Colin 12th Aug 2012, 2:46 PM edit delete reply
Digo 11th Aug 2012, 6:48 AM edit delete reply
Not being able to go to a convention is indeed fustrating. I can't think of any that come close to the Orlando Florida area, and I dunno how my 4-year old daughter would handle a convention.
Sure she'd love the ponies, but the crowds? Not so much.
Raxon 11th Aug 2012, 8:08 AM edit delete reply
Rarity: We tried appealing to his better instincts. It's time we employ an alternative approach.

Apple Jack: What'd ya have in mind?

Rarity: I'll simply play to my strengths, and appeal to his baser instincts.

Pinkie Pie: I pull out my video camera and set up my tripod, so I can sell copies of it on they Ponyville black market!

Rainbow Dash: Good luck in there. Are we gonna need to carry you back to Ponyville, or do you think you'll be able to walk?

Fluttershy: Can I leave the room while this happens?

Rarity: I meant bribe him to leave.

DM: Is that what they're calling it these days?
GreyDuck 11th Aug 2012, 8:21 AM edit delete reply
Any time I see "alternative" accentuated like that, I think of Leverage: "We operate on an... alternative revenue stream."
Your Obedient Serpent 11th Aug 2012, 8:49 AM Friendship is Leverage edit delete reply
Oh, dear.

So ...

Twilight is Nate.
Rarity is Sophie.
Applejack is Elliot.
Pinkie Pie is Parker.
... Rainbow Dash is Hardison, because they're both largely concerned with what's "awesome"?
Seanpony Renaud 11th Aug 2012, 8:51 AM Go Rarity Go! edit delete reply
To bad about rarity's impending failure but I really wanna see RD kick the dragon.
Digo 12th Aug 2012, 7:39 AM edit delete reply
Its not D&D without at least one combat :D
Umiyuri Papaeyra 11th Aug 2012, 9:51 AM edit delete reply
Umiyuri Papaeyra
…Rarity, that's the wrong dragon.

So she knows.
theguyindarkglasses 11th Aug 2012, 11:11 AM edit delete reply
last campaing, the party fought a blue dragon, the rogue fell to the illusion, he fled with 2 HP, the barbarian then said"i throw my axe to his eye", rolled a 20, confirmed with 18
the DM, astonished, told us that now thew dragon is half-blind, and seriously damaged (30 damage on a throwing axe at level 8, i don't think that the dragon saw that coming)
next, the rogue decided to poke the other eye, 19 climb to the head and next thing you know, the dragon is fully blind and about to die.

the dragon escaped, but seriosly, the party amost defeated a high-level dragon in three rounds, the only one damaged was the rogue
Jason Shadow 11th Aug 2012, 12:10 PM edit delete reply
Jason Shadow
The backstory of a half-dragon character of mine involves his mother, an elven rogue, being part of a raid-gone-horribly-wrong against a blue dragon - she was the only one that the dragon didn't kill, and it was only because... well, you can see where this is going. Of course, immediately after the deed, the rogue slit the dragon's throat, made off with the entire hoard, and promptly retired, but the damage was already done, so to speak.

I only bring this up as a reminder that while some may consider the trade-offs to be worth it, there are potentially worrying consequences to any course of action if you aren't too careful.

For instance, if Rarity follows the above example, however would she be able to break the news to Spike?
Akouma 11th Aug 2012, 12:19 PM edit delete reply
Oh dear god please tell me she is NOT about to seduce the dragon...
Stairc 11th Aug 2012, 1:11 PM edit delete reply
Newbiespud did it once. I have no doubt his interpretation of Rarity can do it too.
Umiyuri Papaeyra 11th Aug 2012, 1:26 PM edit delete reply
Umiyuri Papaeyra
…He did what now.
Jason Shadow 11th Aug 2012, 2:13 PM edit delete reply
Jason Shadow
Well, Stairc, now you pretty much have to tell that story here, if only so that Umiyuri knows whether or not she has grounds to throttle Newbiespud...
Umiyuri Papaeyra 11th Aug 2012, 2:18 PM edit delete reply
Umiyuri Papaeyra

Excuse me, all it's inspiring me to do at the moment is go out and buy a dragon costume.
Oblivious 11th Aug 2012, 2:52 PM edit delete reply
Why would Spud need a dragon costume to seduce you, Umi? Pretty sure he'd do that anyway. You know, because he's Spud.
Newbiespud 11th Aug 2012, 2:58 PM edit delete reply
Wait, I did what now? When did this happen?
Umiyuri Papaeyra 11th Aug 2012, 3:01 PM edit delete reply
Umiyuri Papaeyra
That's what I want to know!

(also hello honey it has been a while and i need to be clingy.)
Stairc 11th Aug 2012, 3:09 PM edit delete reply
The multi-colored dragon that swept down on the island Torrin manipulated you onto - so you'd take the fall for failing to deliver the Time Travel Amulet to a very angry dragon.

You flattered the dragon romantically until she was more interested than murderous.
Umiyuri Papaeyra 11th Aug 2012, 3:15 PM edit delete reply
Umiyuri Papaeyra
I continue to be intrigued.
Oblivious 11th Aug 2012, 3:18 PM edit delete reply
As do I, please continue.
Guest 11th Aug 2012, 4:37 PM edit delete reply
Anon is intrigue.
Newbiespud 11th Aug 2012, 4:56 PM edit delete reply
Ah. Well... In that case, "seduced" is kind of a strong word.

Said dragon was going to kill us in a matter of moments. I don't know what started it, but some offhand remark of mine revealed that this (female) dragon was very open to flattery. So (after much chagrin and the party basically voting me into doing this) I laid it on thick, complimenting her scales, her colors, her wingspan... Eventually, it calmed her down enough for us to explain that it wasn't us she should be angry at, and she even helped us get off the island in exchange for said amulet later on. (We never saw her again because, hey, we were going back in time ourselves to fix our past mistakes. We didn't need to keep any promises here!)

So... I guess Stairc's right in saying that Rarity's trying something similar here. To be clear, though: It's not all-out "seduction," it's just "flattery." Much like how squares are always rectangles but rectangles are not always squares - seduction usually involves flattery, but flattery is not always seduction.

...I can't believe I had to come up with that analogy.
Umiyuri Papaeyra 11th Aug 2012, 5:06 PM edit delete reply
Umiyuri Papaeyra

Would you still mind the dragon costume?
Kris_The_Guest 11th Aug 2012, 5:10 PM edit delete reply
...If Zarhon get's the idea to have one of us seduce a dragon, I'm going to have Skitter do it because I don't want any half-dragon babies!
Ramsus 11th Aug 2012, 5:27 PM edit delete reply
If Zarhon gets that idea he's going to be stealing my idea. Plus dragon mount ftw!
Boden King 11th Aug 2012, 6:03 PM edit delete reply
Heh, double entendre, am I right?
Ramsus 11th Aug 2012, 6:05 PM edit delete reply
Double in whatnow!? =)
Kris_The_Guest 11th Aug 2012, 6:11 PM edit delete reply
Tiffany : You have internet access! Use it!
Me : Blaaaaaah. *rolling around bored.* Birdemic is a funny movie.
Ramsus 11th Aug 2012, 6:35 PM edit delete reply
What? How can you bored when you could be writing steamy RolfXHorizon slash fiction? (That's right RolfxHorizon, not the other way around. That'd probably just be rape.)
Kris_The_Guest 11th Aug 2012, 7:05 PM edit delete reply
Errr, no. I'm not that kind of shipper. Also, I'm having a brain fart.
Ramsus 11th Aug 2012, 7:08 PM edit delete reply
That's ok. I probably wouldn't have read it anyway. =P
Kris_The_Guest 11th Aug 2012, 8:19 PM edit delete reply
Ah, I just remembered this small joke from one of my RPs.

A haunter possess Ratatosk and starts laughing.
Tiffany starts hitting Ratatosk like crazy with her giant, mallet like hammer, screaming "GET OUT OF MY BROTHER YOU BIG STUPID PURPLE JERK!"
The haunter floated out, fainting.
Her brother just stands for a second before saying, "Oh butter-cookies" Before fainting himself.

Everyone was convinced that her hammer could kill ghost pokemon after that and it gave Ratatosk a phobia of his sister holding her hammer.
Ramsus 11th Aug 2012, 9:03 PM edit delete reply
lol. The one Pokemon game I played was a 3.5 D&D game with a Pokemaster class (otherwise it was just a D&D game with pokemon styled monsters). Only one of us was a Pokemaster and one of his pokemon was a skeletal badger.

My character was playing a prestige class that was designed just as a joke about how freaking random the requirements for prestige classes were. It was called Elothar (I think?) Warrior of Bladereach. It required your character to be named Elothar (again, I think that's what it was). Be from Bladereach. And have proficiency in use rope. (Might have been some other things too, certainly a level of some sort. Maybe ranger specific stuff since it was basically a rangerish prestige class.)

So, I made it a girl. *grins* Which of course made the GM laugh because it was basically one of the only choices you could actually make at character creation or anytime afterwards if you wanted to play it.
Bronymous 11th Aug 2012, 10:05 PM edit delete reply
...I won't lie. I'm not entirely opposed to a RolfxHorizon shipfic, mostly (entirely) because I would love to see the kind of literary genius that could write a story in which something like that is even remotely possible. That would be some God-Tier literomancy right there.

And its still not as gay as Twilight.
kriss1989 11th Aug 2012, 10:12 PM edit delete reply
Pokemon Tabletop Adventures, or a differen system? Also, if you add an elemental component to a weapon in that system you can hurt ghosts with a giant mallet.
Kris_The_Guest 12th Aug 2012, 5:50 AM edit delete reply
It was entirely text rp on Pokefarm. We didn't use table top rules.
Elff Co 12th Aug 2012, 12:14 PM edit delete reply
I Am a shipper. I will ship these two for the price of one photo of a cat wearing a watermelon on its head.
Kris_The_Guest 12th Aug 2012, 1:59 PM edit delete reply
I can find one!
Edit : I found two!
Elff Co Shipping 13th Aug 2012, 6:29 AM edit delete reply
Thank you. Rolf and Horizon have successfully been shipped to Alaska.

Why, what did you think I meant by shipping?

Bronymous 13th Aug 2012, 8:06 AM edit delete reply
Actually, she paid for "RolfxHorizon" to be shipped, not Rolf and Horizon. Refunds are in order.
Kris_The_Guest 13th Aug 2012, 8:25 AM edit delete reply
Okay, I want a RolfxHorizon ship fic and a TiffanyxSkitter ship fic.
Do it or I drain your body of blood. *is a half-vampire.*
Bronymous 13th Aug 2012, 8:40 AM edit delete reply
Bonus points if you can get me to take either of them seriously.
Ramsus 13th Aug 2012, 10:15 AM edit delete reply
Uh....that'd be SkitterxTiffany wouldn't it Kris?

TiffanyxSkitter....well, that'll involve some serious crazy.
Kris_The_Guest 13th Aug 2012, 10:18 AM edit delete reply
Um, I don't get what difference the order makes.
Bronymous 13th Aug 2012, 12:34 PM edit delete reply
Apparently, the first name is the seductor. Or the "Top".
Elff Co 13th Aug 2012, 1:45 PM edit delete reply
*Has no blood from the last thirty unsatisfied customers*

* Runs off into the distance with pictures of melon cats*
Elff Co 13th Aug 2012, 1:45 PM edit delete reply
*Has no blood from the last thirty unsatisfied customers*

* Runs off into the distance with pictures of melon cats*
Elff Co 13th Aug 2012, 1:48 PM edit delete reply
And I agreed simply to ship those two. I never specified RolfxHorizon shipping, only that the duo would be shipped.

Also if anyone actually twists the universe enough to make that pairing work I shall have no recourse but to start summoning Polonium Elementals for endangering innocent minds and the fabric of reality.
Lawxl 13th Aug 2012, 12:19 PM edit delete reply
"I have twenty ranks in seduction!"
~Flynn the Fine
My arm! 13th Aug 2012, 1:52 PM edit delete reply
But remember. The total amount of conversation on "Hot steamy gnome-on-gnome action" is restricted.
Lyntermas 13th Aug 2012, 5:50 PM edit delete reply
You know what? I'm perfectly fine with no shipping stories at this time. My brain is currently trying two conflicting activities at this time.

One part, the storyteller, is trying to figure out what scenario would make RolfxHorizon possible. Perhaps Horizon reveals the horrible incident that made him what he is today, he feels that he has to push everyone away to feel safe, Rolf tells him it's okay to be vulnerable, asks Horizon that for all his talk of loyalty and trust, when's the last time he's ever ceded control...

The other part, the self-preservation part, is trying desperately to stop that train of thought before things get...messy.

Anyway, I've got another Rolf story brewing, but I might instead try fulfilling a request I received oh so long ago.
Bronymous 13th Aug 2012, 7:11 PM edit delete reply
I too, am halfway through more backstory. I hit a major contrivance though and I don't feel like pushing through it just now, so its on hold.

Also, there's that coop story to get to.

Edit: Does Rolf have facial hair?
Lyntermas 13th Aug 2012, 10:23 PM edit delete reply
Let's say no, Rolf does not normally have facial hair.

Oh, and if we're doing what we discussed earlier, Slick Tom would not be present at the deal. I would be joining him in surveying the aftermath.
Akouma 14th Aug 2012, 1:15 AM edit delete reply
I was browsing through the comments and saw that my little joke got some attention. I have a question:

How the HELL did a joke about seducing a dragon wind up completely derailed into a discussion about Pokemon and the shipping of two characters I've never heard of? Not that I'm complaining, mind you. It's quite funny.
Kris_The_Guest 14th Aug 2012, 5:51 AM edit delete reply
I happened! *throws confetti*
Azureink 12th Aug 2012, 12:36 AM edit delete reply
Still able to read this comic in the show's voices. This is good.

Also, I usually end up flubbing in anything but direct diplomacy/intimidate. I can't spin words and think on my feet very well. As such I flub a lot when DMing social encounters.
deeman45 12th Aug 2012, 9:06 AM edit delete reply
A con?! You lucky boy...

The only city close enough to make a con visit financially viable is Las Vegas, and as far as I know there hasn't been a single major Brony event since I joined the fandom. :/
Umiyuri Papaeyra 12th Aug 2012, 11:34 AM edit delete reply
Umiyuri Papaeyra
That lucky boy gets to go to MULTIPLE CONS.

I just have my special yearly one… =>
Demonu 12th Aug 2012, 12:27 PM edit delete reply
At least you guys have cons.

I have to get my friendship off the Internet...
Ramsus 12th Aug 2012, 12:54 PM edit delete reply
Hey, you at least can use Skype. I don't even have a working mic.

Edit: Though it's not like I really want to anyway. Apparently over a mic I sound quite a bit like Kermit.
Guest 12th Aug 2012, 4:49 PM edit delete reply
Thats a bad thing?
Cain 12th Aug 2012, 9:48 PM edit delete reply
I sound like either Captain Sparkles (a youtube personality) or an evil robot... I've been keeping tally of the number of times I've been asked "Are you Captain Sparkles?"
DracoS 13th Aug 2012, 10:05 PM edit delete reply
At least you have a computer. I have to rub two sticks together to power a modified speak-and-spell in order to read Friendship is Dragons. =p
Demonu 14th Aug 2012, 5:22 AM edit delete reply
Two sticks? LUXURY!

I have to wake up at 10pm in the morning half an hour before I go to bed, work 27 hours at the magician's place who would turn me into a frog if I arrived before noon or after 12 o'clock after which I had to go home to rub a single rock together to create fire all the while a paladin would beat me to death while praying.

If I was lucky!

Guest 12th Aug 2012, 10:57 PM edit delete reply
Wait, your in Redmond? Dang, I'm near the south end of 405 myself.
Stairc 13th Aug 2012, 12:44 PM Pony Tales Announcement edit delete reply
An absolutely massive update will be coming in the next week or two. If you thinks have been quiet, it's because we're developing the entire level-up system. It's been playtested over the last weeks and the final features for the beta are just now being set in place. Everything should be developed and released for the public beta in the above timeframe.