Page 183 - Elements of Smarmony, Part 1

3rd Oct 2012, 6:00 AM in Intermission 2
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Elements of Smarmony, Part 1
Average Rating: 5 (3 votes)
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Author Notes:

Newbiespud 3rd Oct 2012, 6:00 AM edit delete
This one's a three-parter! Enjoy!

Author: Digo

Guest Author's Note:
"One of the greatest parts of the final confrontation with the central villain is the pre-fight heroic speech. Have you ever given a profound monologue that the Game Master was left impressed? Did the GM give you any bonuses for such a speech? Did the villain have a comeback?"

Notice: Guest comic submissions are open! Guidelines here. Deadline: January 27th, 2023.



ThousandYearSunrise 3rd Oct 2012, 6:03 AM edit delete reply
Oooh, alternate history.
LoganAura 3rd Oct 2012, 6:09 AM edit delete reply
Heat Wave actually Setting the Moon on Fire. Not really a monologue, or one against a villain, but...
Digo 3rd Oct 2012, 6:26 AM edit delete reply
Do you have any details? You mentioned Heat Wave, but I can only think of the Autobot by that name. :3
LoganAura 3rd Oct 2012, 6:41 AM edit delete reply
Check last comic, near the waaaaaay bottom. Inky wrote a summary about the last sesssion. and the thingie!
Cain 3rd Oct 2012, 7:33 AM edit delete reply
ah yes, the setting the moon on fire, a sad yet touching moment.
Digo 3rd Oct 2012, 7:48 AM edit delete reply
Wow, what a moment.
Karilyn 3rd Oct 2012, 9:06 AM edit delete reply
Inky Quills: Loyalty, to my friends above all else
Scrapper: Laughter, even in the face of the apocalypse
Alcazar: Honesty, even in the darkest times
Soaring Song: Kindness to all, deserving or not
Treachery: Generosity, the ability to give until it hurts
Solar Flare: And Magic, for when the light has fallen

And with that, instead of a candle's fire fading into the darkness, it became a raging fire, unending, burning forever.

(If you're going to embody the Elements of Harmony like the main six did, you gotta do it RIGHT! *laughs*)
LoganAura 3rd Oct 2012, 9:29 AM edit delete reply
Totally unimportant, but Scales tried to embody it with, "giving the thing you hold dear". but he failed. badly
Karilyn 3rd Oct 2012, 9:31 AM edit delete reply
Well, at least you tried Scales. But yeah, embodying the elements; not exactly something easy to pull off in Stairc's campaign.
Zuche 3rd Oct 2012, 6:19 AM edit delete reply
Three parts? Aw, yeah! I get a, "Nothing up my sleeve!" vibe out of the fourth panel and therefore hear June Foray playing the part of Nurse Redgrave here.

I always pictured the Mayor as more of a Brahms, however.

Oh. Oh! And Grimtooth? Yeah, those books got nasty.
Chakat Firepaw 3rd Oct 2012, 10:32 PM edit delete reply
Well, most of them did: Don't forget "Traps Lite"
Digo 3rd Oct 2012, 6:46 AM edit delete reply
Years back in a conspiracy game, the players managed (for once) to outwit the villain.

The scenario played like this--
The villain was a mysterious Illuminati member named Rufus. Rufus escaped capture by way of a posh jumbo jet and was flying to China over the pacific ocean.
The team hacker managed to find his cell number and called him with this bit of monologue:

"Hello, Rufus? Yeah, we just wanted to call and let you know you played a good game, but you left rather quickly at the end of it before we could get our final showdown. You left a briefcase with a bomb in it, found it in our Hummer. Don't worry, we managed to make it to the airport on time and it should be on your plane right now. I think you left the timer running..."

And suddenly the phone call "mysteriously" dropped. Rufus' flight never did make it to its destination. ;)
Zuche 3rd Oct 2012, 7:00 AM edit delete reply
...You did this comic just so you could ask this question and then submit this answer to it, didn't you?


I know I've mentioned this before, but the closest I get to this is every time my half-orc cleric fails a Bluff check. Every time it happens, I wind up getting to run with it for a good few minutes because the table finds it entertaining.

I'm not sure how I feel about being good at lying badly.
Digo 3rd Oct 2012, 7:52 AM edit delete reply
Okay you got me. :3
LOL, I just wanted to use questions I could add something too. As for Bluff checks, I usually can be good at starting a lie, but as soon as someone questions it, my words become transparent. D'ohh!
Lyntermas 3rd Oct 2012, 5:02 PM edit delete reply
Please. If I can write an alt-script for my guest comic, Digo should be able to add a D&D story for his.
Nohbdi 3rd Oct 2012, 6:49 AM edit delete reply
Well, let's see.

There was the one with Ghost Wolf (Maverick reploid in a Megaman-themed game) and his 'No Place In This World For Monsters' speech right before dropping the space-station with him still inside...

There was Gigas, the giant worm-that-walks, which started out as a what-measure-a-monster and turned halfway through into a 'And then, there's THIS ***HOLE' verbal beatdown of the BBEG...

And then there was, well, not exactly a monologue against the Big Bad, but definitely an epic scene where Horse (a human artificer/inventor), in the middle of a giant demonic army laying siege to the fortress guarding the only canyon entry to the kingdom, finally revealed the true nature of the enhancements he'd been doing to the fortress for the past few levels of downtime. Let's just say, there was a reason my DM let me finally rename the place to Fortress Prime.
Digo 3rd Oct 2012, 7:54 AM edit delete reply
Fortress Prime? Wait, you mean... :D
Oh my.
Nohbdi 3rd Oct 2012, 7:56 AM edit delete reply
Fortress Prime. It was, shall we say...

Lyntermas 3rd Oct 2012, 8:19 AM edit delete reply
*puts on sunglasses* Yeeeeeeeaaaaaaaahhhh!
Crimson Doom 3rd Oct 2012, 7:14 AM edit delete reply
Crimson Doom
Guesses as to who has which of the remaining Elements? Personally, I'm guessing:

Constitution: Um... I'll get back to you.
Intelligence: Almost certainly Trixie.
Wisdom: Both Zecora and Redheart would fit, so I'm not sure...
Charisma: Probably Cheerilee.
LoganAura 3rd Oct 2012, 7:27 AM edit delete reply
Actually, I reject your reality and substitute my own :P
Con: Redheart as a Healer.
Int: Cheerilee as a Teacher.
Wis: Zecora as a wise shaman.
Oh and pop into the char, Dodge. I want to show you something Grey's done.
DragonTrainer 3rd Oct 2012, 9:30 PM edit delete reply
Actually, I'd guess this:

Con: Cheerilee for being able to endure having to teach the Cutie Mark Crusadors.
Int: Zecora for being able to craft potions.
Wis: Redheart since healing is usually associated with wisdom (Clerics and the Heal Skill).
Cha: TGAP Trixie, of course. :p
AABaker 3rd Oct 2012, 7:18 AM edit delete reply
Well there was the time the group I was in was about to battle our way through Sahuagin defenders and gain entrance to their base, which would be a big dungeon.

The head of the Sahuagin guards starts talking about what the people in the local town did to them and my character, a snarky monk, begins talking right back.

I'm still not sure how it happened, by my monk's speech was so good, it convinced the Sahaguin to negotiate a peace treaty.
The DM had spent a week preparing the dungeon and we managed to skip it completely, by sheer accident.
Digo 3rd Oct 2012, 7:57 AM edit delete reply
I'm imagining a gang of Sahuagin playing cards and wondering why the adventurers haven't shown up to steal their treasure yet, LOL.
sunbeam 3rd Oct 2012, 7:18 AM edit delete reply
This wasn't with a villain, but it worked damned well.
A friend of mine likes to run d20 campaigns that are largely based around 3.5 edition, but with his own custom rules. One of those is the classic rpg weapon progression, of find swords of different materials that do more damage. I've always thought the system was kind of silly, but he introduced my favorite capstone weapon of all time: Cansonite, the single most explosive material in existence. If you delicately scratch a cow all along it's back, you will cook it, and the meat will already be smoked for proper storage. If you impale it deep enough in a tree, you can make the tree combust from the center. I haven't needed to try yet, but apparently in a pinch you can burn dirt for a campfire.
So we were starting out an evil campaign, and we were all level 3. I was playing a fallen paladin who'd driven himself completely mad with dark magic. We go to the weapons bazaar, and I see a Stone sword, well within my price range, and a cansonite pickaxe, which costs about 6 times as much money as I have. I ask if I can admire the pick, and the dialogue progresses something like this:
Izzy (me):Oh, this is wonderful. I'd never find something like this where I'm from. Do you know why?
Orc Shopkeep: *grunt*
Izzy: Because where I come from, it's a very deep set tradition that the first act of a well-made weapon is to bury it in the stomach of the smith that made it. Though you seem to be more of a merchant than a smith, I suppose you'll make a decent proxy. Now, how much was it, again?
Orc: *same price*
Izzy: Excuse me, sir, but could you please look me in the eye for a moment? ((At this point, I actually go around the table to sit right beside the DM, Fluttershy Style)) Do you see any fear in these eyes? You shouldn't, and there's a very good reason for that. I've seen horrors you can merely dream of, crafted from my own worst nightmares. I'll admit that you could probably beat me to a bloody pulp if I tried to nick this pick axe, but you know what? I'd still get it. You'll be sleeping in your tent one night, and before you can even wake up your whole body will combust, and your stomach will implode. Your blood, your organs, everywhere, splattered over the walls of the tent. And I'll just walk off, pick in hand. Now I'll ask you one more time. How much. Does this pickaxe. cost?

I got it for free without even rolling for intimidate, threw him 2 coppers as a sign of goodwill, and strolled off humming a merry tune.
redwings1340 3rd Oct 2012, 8:07 AM edit delete reply
This actually raises an interesting question: could a non-pony (griffon or zebra would be most likely) theoretically represent an element of harmony in the distant future?
deeman45 3rd Oct 2012, 8:27 AM edit delete reply
I see no reason why not. I mean the original wielders were Celestia and Luna, who are hardly normal compared to most of the other ponies in Equestria.
redwings1340 3rd Oct 2012, 12:05 PM edit delete reply
the princesses still are a combination of earth ponies, unicorns, and pegasi though. If the elements of harmony were some creation/force of nature that were first activated by them, maybe it is only those that share their likeness that can activate them. Then again, I suppose the nature of the elements of harmony would have to make them be inclusive, so maybe that's a bad argument.
TheTraveller 3rd Oct 2012, 8:17 AM I see. edit delete reply
Ah....I see what you're doing here, each "element" is one of the character attributes used in RPGs (Strength, Dexterity, intelligence, etc.) Am I right?
Lyntermas 3rd Oct 2012, 8:30 AM edit delete reply
I think that's what's happening. Or maybe...

T: And with my showstopping capabilities, I represent the Element of Charisma!
NMM: No.
T: What? What do you mean "no"?
NMM: Charisma is not the name of the secret sixth element.
T: B-B-But the character attributes! Charisma is the only one left!
NMM: Character attributes? Whatever are you talking about?
Zuche 3rd Oct 2012, 8:49 AM edit delete reply
Then Trixie must represent the Element of Gygax!
Digo 3rd Oct 2012, 9:10 AM edit delete reply
Which Element of Gygax? The one where you create a silly little thing and it explodes into a huge industry, or the one where you TPK the party with a deathtrap dungeon? :D
Zuche 3rd Oct 2012, 9:14 AM edit delete reply
Er... yes?
Zarhon 3rd Oct 2012, 11:10 AM edit delete reply
Clearly Trixie is the element of Rules Lawyer-ing (subset: Avatar of loopholes)

DM: Okay, but that's only 5 elements. You're still missing the sixth, which would have to be embodied by yourself.
Trixie: Actually, truth be told, none of them are actual element bearers. I am.
DM: What?
Trixie: With the feats I have, I'm capable of embodying all six elements.
DM: What? ...Where did you get half of these feats?
Trixie: A few obscure sourcebooks. Don't bother looking them up, two of them are in Swahili and another is in German. The important thing to note is that the Great and Powerful Trixie is ready to fire all of the elements at Nightmare Moon.
DM: Woah, hold on, you need to spend a round charging each element AND you've lost initiative.
Trixie: That is what my monologue was for. I was charging them, one round for each element. As for missing the sixth element, I don't need it. I'll just double the damage of the five elements with my daily. You know, the one I asked about at the start?
DM: ...I hate you.
Digo 3rd Oct 2012, 11:31 AM edit delete reply
Heehee, that's a good one. :3

From experience I've learned to anticipate what kind of loop-holes a player may exploit to break my adventures. Often invoking the same loop-holes will straighten out said player to chill a bit.

Like the one time a player tried to build a magic item that could break the game mechanics and defeat the boss, but I pointed out that while it's possible, the time frame needed to build the item (assuming best-case scenario) was longer than the world had left to live if they didn't fight the final boss.
Dr. Klaus 3rd Oct 2012, 5:20 PM edit delete reply
Trixie: Did I forget to mention? This is all before combat starts. My monologue I would say lulled you into a false sense of security, no? I think that's good enough for a surprise round. Take that! Seventh Element of Surprise!
Digo 4th Oct 2012, 4:19 AM edit delete reply
Well played, Doc. :D
Robby 3rd Oct 2012, 8:26 AM edit delete reply
OH! I did one! It wasn't a profound monologue, but I helped take down half a bar full of angry drunk ruffians that wanted to kill us by offering them more booze. My friends were all very confused, but at the end my way proved successful.
Greywander 3rd Oct 2012, 1:17 PM edit delete reply
Try quoting Gurren Lagann, it's pretty much nonstop Ham to Ham Combat. Almost every word Kamina says is gold.

You know, a lot of people criticize villains because of their monologuing, but there's actually two very good reasons why they (and why heroes do, too, sometimes) do it. The first is that the temptation to boast about how much better you are than your opponent is overpowering. It's like knowing a really awesome secret, you have an almost irresistible urge to share it. The second reason is to either intimidate your opponent, or completely crush their moral. To verbally destroy their will to continue fighting. To Break Them by Talking. When it's done well, the final battle can sometimes be bypassed altogether, and at best it is merely a formality, confirming the verbal victory with a martial one. Most villains don't have the charisma or intelligence to pull this off, though, and neither do many heroes, for that matter. And often when they do, their opponent is of similarly strong will, and retorts with an equally powerful speech. Verbally sparring usually continues while they beat the crap out of each other.
Digo 3rd Oct 2012, 1:44 PM edit delete reply
I agree. Honestly, which villains do I remember the most? The ones who have that memoriable monologue for just the right occasion. :D
Zubeneschemali 3rd Oct 2012, 3:23 PM Trapsmith edit delete reply
You, sir, deserve a million muffins for mentioning Grimtooth.
Digo 3rd Oct 2012, 4:32 PM edit delete reply
:D Yay...

...oh wait, they're going to crush me under the weight of their deliciously goodness, aren't they? That's so Grimtooth.
kriss1989 3rd Oct 2012, 4:03 PM edit delete reply
I once manage to roleplay the defeat of a ultra villain in a Superhero RPG. My hero is Scarlet Saber, the world greatest stunt man, and the worlds third greatest swordsman. He also has a flying motorcycle. And a dimension travel bracelet powered by a splinwheel. I am trapped by myself on a living space station surrounded by a super robot army. So I start shooting the breeze, questioning the super intelligent being about his purpose, the nature of his actions, etc. Eventually it wears out.

Curator: You cannot change my function. Logic dictates that your arguments are invalid. You will never convince me to change my ways.

Scarlet Saber: Oh, I know. That was never the point.

Curator: What?

Scarlet Saber: *reveals that I've been 'flicking' my wrist to charge the device the entire time while talking* I just needed to charge this. Safety off and mater swap. *switches place with a chunk of anti-physics directed matter*

Curator: What is that? What? Error 850 Physics not found! *half the ring world breaks down*
Lyntermas 3rd Oct 2012, 4:29 PM edit delete reply
Ah, the Lord Hamster approach to diplomacy: biding your time until your plan wrecks the enemy utterly.

Oh, and to answer your question back on comic 181, no, I'm just a mortal who may have figured out what his cutie mark is.
kriss1989 3rd Oct 2012, 4:55 PM edit delete reply
Ah Parson, one of my inspirations. Fire the dormant volcano!
Urthdigger 3rd Oct 2012, 5:02 PM edit delete reply
I've yet to do an epic monologue that left the DM speechless, but I have managed to use talking to get what I want, by sheer force of what's being said instead of a good roll.

I believe I've mentioned this story before, but my party was trying to uncover a doppelganger who had taken the place of the Storm Giant's queen. When our attempt at quizzing the doppelganger to show it doesn't know things the queen would failed, my weasel Sakeek started dropping comments here and there. Things that would mean nothing to the queen... but would infuriate the doppelganger (We'd defeated her a few times before). Eventually she grew so pissed off that she attacked him... and thus dropped the charade.
DB 3rd Oct 2012, 10:09 PM edit delete reply
In our Pony Tales game (mine, not Stairc’s), Dustykatt pulled off an epic monologue. What made it all the better is that his pony, “Tongs” Ironhoof, is a bluff, hearty blacksmith and artisan of an earth pony not normally known for his locquacity.

We pass around narrator (game-master) duties, and roommate Baron was running the story. It involved a traditional griffin artifact associated with the local griffin population up in the nearby hills and a pair of pony scholars—a passionately idealistic young grad-student earth mare who wanted to learn all about it and the culture that created it, and an obnoxious middle-aged professor that partook equally of Belloq and every instructor you hated in university.

He did everything he could to sabotage her efforts and claim credit, and when at the denouement Tongs gave him a righteous tongue-lashing for stirring up what could have been serious trouble, he was thoroughly humiliated. That there was a sizable audience he’d been trying to impress and clearly visible proof of how badly wrong things could have gone—two griffin factions that started an abortive brawl, complete with talons and beaks—he couldn’t wiggle out when the blame was pinned on him.

He got a bonus harmony point (“destiny point” in Open D6). It was exactly the sort of lesson the series tries to teach, albeit a little more grown-up.
John Walter Biles 4th Oct 2012, 5:18 AM edit delete reply
To quote one of our Amber games:

Hayate turns and says, "It is unfortunately, easy for me to put my feelings into words. I love you, and you did things which made me feel you loved me in return, but now you've told me that you prefer the company of a man who wears a false grin, who is a traitor to his own house and who has done horrible things to your own family. Even though yesterday you were willing to kiss me. And now you want me to feel sympathetic for your pain over telling me that my dreams are all but delusions and wraiths which now fade in the light of the sun. And to make matters worse, I'm going to have to watch him with you." He looks at the outstretched hand,then turns away again. "You have your hollow man now. Fill him with your pain so you can hide from it; he's not good for much else. Assuming he doesn't just evaporate the next time he comes near Ariel." He glances off towards where the others are. "I will do my duty. Just don't expect me to go out of my way for him." He begins to walk away again, looking angry and morose.
Valron 11th Oct 2012, 11:16 AM edit delete reply
My character in our Legend of the 5 Rings game had a nice monologue with the Big Bad during the finale of our game's prologue. For background, this guy (Moto Tsume) was a member of my clan who got corrupted by evil, has resurrected for like the 3rd time, and had my wife and her band of warriors killed as his first order of business. So yeah, my life is now dedicated to ending this bastard.

During the confrontation, I stared him down and said, paraphrasing, "I will destroy you so utterly and completely, no one will bother recording that it happened. All of this will amount to nothing more than a minor footnote in history. It will be as if you never were."

He didn't take it very seriously, and I doubt I'll be able to back it up with how the game's going. The current plan is to amass a huge army from the various clans and go to war against the bastard and his armies. So yeah, that'll probably be something for the history books.
DracoS 24th Feb 2013, 11:32 AM edit delete reply
Looking back, I'd've found it funny if this guest author had used the Lunaverse fanfic's elements of harmony. =p