Page 184 - Elements of Smarmony, Part 2

4th Oct 2012, 6:00 AM in Intermission 2
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Elements of Smarmony, Part 2
Average Rating: 5 (2 votes)
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Author Notes:

Newbiespud 4th Oct 2012, 6:00 AM edit delete
Author: Digo

Guest Author's Note:
"Good or evil, Player Characters do have one thing in common- when combat begins, they cause a lot of collateral damage. Whether it is the villain's home base or a parking lot full of civilian cars, you can be sure there will be a path of destruction left behind. Did you ever have a memorable fight that occurred where the scenery got chewed up in a literal sense?"

Notice: Guest comic submissions are open! Guidelines here. Deadline: January 27th, 2023.



City Strider 4th Oct 2012, 6:06 AM edit delete reply
City Strider
Bar fights. Oh gods the bar fights.
MWS 4th Oct 2012, 12:01 PM edit delete reply
Barfights nothing. We once took down a whole bar. Out of control berserker with force field versus missile armed power armor...
darkwulf23 4th Oct 2012, 6:06 AM edit delete reply
Yep and it was a chore to convince the head priest that the temple burning down didn't matter as much because the party saved everybody in it.
darkwulf23 4th Oct 2012, 6:16 AM edit delete reply
Actually after that incident and consitering that we have a trigger happy warlock and a wizard that despite living in the fantasy Renascence understands the term "carpet bombing" we have now learned to make everybody who hire us sign a disclaimer, that we are not held liable for any property or ancient artifact damage or loss of life or limb that may happen during the job that the party was hired for.
Digo 4th Oct 2012, 6:23 AM edit delete reply
I usually try to convince my fellow adventurers to set aside an "Insurance Fund" that will pay for those inevitable damages we wreck upon innocent structures.

Though one time when I was DM, the party wrecked the palace of a prominant city in a fight to slay an evil advisor who kidnapped and replaced the king's real advisor.
When the king came to collect for damages, the party rogue sent him a bill for their "Corrupt Advisor Removal" service which matched the damages they had done to the palace.

They had me rolling for a while with that one. Well played.
Greywander 4th Oct 2012, 2:18 PM edit delete reply
To be fair, it takes two sides to fight, so when there's an epic struggle between good and evil, you can hardly place all the blame for collateral damage squarely on the heroes. Now, if they're being careless or reckless, or deliberately excessive, then you might want to take steps to show that there are actual consequences to that. If it gets really bad, it might be time to consider switching all their alignments to Chaotic Evil and/or having them come to a bad end. Or switching to some sort of GTA RPG.
Digo 5th Oct 2012, 3:52 AM edit delete reply
This is true, but in devil's avocacy, the villain in question was dead and was hardly in any position to pay for his share of the damages. ;)
DanielLC 5th Oct 2012, 4:13 PM edit delete reply
The money doesn't die with him. Pay the damages with his estate. If that doesn't cover it, sucks to be the debtor. You can't charge the heroes for it any more than you could charge a random guy off the street.
AABaker 4th Oct 2012, 6:18 AM edit delete reply
Does it count if the bad guys set fire to a village and we were battling in the middle of it. We made it out fine. The townsfolk, not so much.
Nohbdi 4th Oct 2012, 6:24 AM edit delete reply
Well, there was, once again, that bit with Horse and Fortress Prime...

But I think my two favorites were, in fact, not my fault. Honestly.

The first was in a Shadowrun game, where in a rather epic series of paranoia-induced misunderstandings on the part of no less than three companies, our ragtag group of Runners somehow accidentally had everyone convinced we were an elite and unstoppable black-ops force, OBVIOUSLY created by [insert opposing company here] in order to utterly destroy the other two companies.

Long story short, it all came to a head when two of the companies tried to ambush us at the same time, getting themselves all tangled up with each other. And then, as we carefully excused ourselves from the fracas, the third company decided to act as well, by literally trying to fry us with the Orbital Lance.

And then things got weird. But hey - we got the prototype Troll Armor we were hired to collect, so at least the mission was successful.
Zuche 4th Oct 2012, 6:25 AM edit delete reply
Never saw a moment of this coming. Nearly choked on my breakfast several times over the course of those first four panels. Well done, Digo. I shall make a point of staying away from food entirely when I check the conclusion tomorrow.
Digo 4th Oct 2012, 6:50 AM edit delete reply
Thanks for the compliment. :D
Yeah, the first four panels are comedy gold. Numer two never gets old for me either. I should wallpaper that on my desktop.
MirrorImage 4th Oct 2012, 8:39 AM edit delete reply
I must ask though... The third panel here is a little vague.

Did Redheart "save the orphanage... and the orphans" or did she "get the arsonist stoned... and the orphans?"

I would love to see the actual session behind the latter.
Digo 4th Oct 2012, 9:21 AM edit delete reply
It would be that Readheart got the orphans stoned as well as the arsonist. :)

I've had sessions where a player would cast a nonlethal area effect spell and take out everyone at once, then sift through the aftermath to separate the bad guys from the civilians. :3
Guest 4th Oct 2012, 10:10 AM edit delete reply
So what level of spell is Cloud of Reefer.
The Guest 4th Oct 2012, 10:17 AM edit delete reply
9, of course.
CJT 4th Oct 2012, 1:36 PM edit delete reply
There's an entry for this in the Mr. Welch list:

"Not allowed to find the villain by casting Power Word: Stun in a crowded bar and seeing who's still standing."

(Friends pointed out that a properly cunning villain would *pretend* to be stunned.)
Digo 5th Oct 2012, 3:55 AM edit delete reply
Wow, pure brilliance there on both sides.
Derpmind 4th Oct 2012, 6:28 AM edit delete reply
An alternate set of Element bearers can be really awesome. My favorite is Longest Day, Longest Night: Trixie Lulamoon, personal student of Princess Luna, has to stop Queen Corona from taking over Equestria.

A very close second is Rainbooms and Royalty, where Rainbow Dash is Celestia's personal student. Things get way more mixed up than you might expect, and the relationship between Dash and Celestia is much more two-way than canon Twilight's practical worship. Also, Dash's Rainbow levels are over another rainbow.

Anyone else got story recommendations or other stuff for alternate Mane-6?
Digo 4th Oct 2012, 9:22 AM edit delete reply
I'm going to read the Trixie story tonight. That sounds good. :)
Guest 4th Oct 2012, 10:09 AM edit delete reply
Not quite a story persay but I remember there was a tumblr I think it was called Diane Pie where the elements were put into paired sets; Laughter with Magic, Loyalty with Generosity, and Honesty with Kindness; and each of the girls were given the other element of the pair they were in. I went ahead and found it again, I haven't looked at it in months.
Digo 4th Oct 2012, 10:46 AM edit delete reply
Interesting! I hope the author draws more of the element bearers. I actually dig the different Twilight.
Crimson Doom 4th Oct 2012, 10:59 AM edit delete reply
Crimson Doom
Read Rainbooms and Royalty as well. It really gives Rainbow a ton of cool character development, and has some pretty awesome Derpy moments as well. I get the feeling the author ships Rainbow Mac, though, so if you don't like that, proceed with caution.
Destrustor 4th Oct 2012, 6:30 AM edit delete reply
When your character's entire fighting style is "bombs and area-effect spells everywhere", collateral damage might as well be quantified in the spell descriptions themselves.
From level 6 and onwards, all the towns I ever fought in were soon prefixed by "the ruins/crater of"
I still can't believe how much fun that character was.
After that campaign ended, he inherited the "castle of the storm king" artifact from our boss/mentor NPC, who had outfitted it with a city-sized mana crystal and a mile-tall mage tower, allowing it to planeshift once per month and boosting its owner's magical power to insane levels (fireball spells easily reaching 600 feet in radius).
That character has now become an interdimensional menace in his quest to blow up the entirety of existence. Our new campaign revolves around fixing the hole he blew up between the mortal plane and the elemental plane of water before the whole world drowns.
Also, his indestructible artifact castle auto-raises him perfectly and at no cost(exp or otherwise)whenever he dies, and he is already an ageless dragon. I think he will be a hilariously dangerous recurring NPC in our future adventures.
He'll probably become worshipped as a god of destruction at some point. I'm so proud.
CJT 4th Oct 2012, 1:41 PM edit delete reply
This reminds me of the "reality as you know it has been destroyed; roll new characters" story. I heard it from at least two different people, so it's probably propagated pretty far by now.
Destrustor 4th Oct 2012, 5:02 PM edit delete reply
Actually, that campaign started in a slightly cartoonish setting almost directly ripped off from some satirical piece of entertainment parodying tabletop RPGs.(Example; the characters had factual knowledge of their level and exp rewards. Because, y'know, for the lulz.)
And then my character helped his insane master blow up the whole universe and, thanks to a McGuffin, our party was shunted into another reality instead of being annihilated like the rest of reality.
The new reality was a great deal more uh... realistic, leading to a few complaints that "this universe sucks!".
So yeah, for our characters, reality as they knew it was actually really destroyed once. We just didn't have to roll new characters.
CJT 4th Oct 2012, 10:22 PM edit delete reply
In this one, the characters ended up destabilizing two epic-grade magic circles through liberal abuse of poorly-understood artifacts they'd been hoarding.

End result: Reality goes boom, roll up new characters. The old characters were the pantheon of the new setting, and just as insane as ever.
Cain 4th Oct 2012, 6:31 AM edit delete reply
a slight damaging fight would have to be the plauge-changed dragon. ruin a stall or 2. Also the invisible halfling fight. a bar fight, where the main target was a halfling who would turn invisible, kick you in the shin the turn invisible again. Took at least a few tables with it.
Ranubis 4th Oct 2012, 1:04 PM edit delete reply
Oh yeah, that fight. Ugh.

Let me tell you, it was bad enough fighting in a building that had a bunch of armor stands all around the place slowing movement and giving cover from our mage's fireballs...

But that little halfling kept attacking with a puny dagger, turning invisible for a round, attacking again, and turning invisible again over and over and over and just would not DIE!

After the DM got bored and said he just gave up and told us the information, I asked if Davven the paladin could slit the halfing's throat and refuse to heal him until he got paid. Nevermind he only had a hammer, that's how annoyed we were.
LoganAura 4th Oct 2012, 6:35 AM edit delete reply
Load Bearing Boss Fight. I really think that's all I need to say on the matter.
Well, I can say something else:
Changeling Hive.
And Burning building with a Water Pegasi Burning it.
Oblivious 4th Oct 2012, 1:16 PM edit delete reply
I think you're forgetting the obvious example of us trashing a museum, racking up a couple million in property damage, only to get arrested and lose the guy we were trying to stop.
LoganAura 4th Oct 2012, 1:53 PM edit delete reply
Oh yeah.
I forgot about that XD I wasn't part of the group yet so it's a bit iffy in my memory.
Videocrazy 4th Oct 2012, 2:45 PM edit delete reply
Well, that was less a fight, and more Inky's blind (literally, the lights had gone out and it was pitch black in the museum) rage while attempting to kill the biggest enemy of the party at the time.
LoganAura 4th Oct 2012, 3:11 PM edit delete reply
Still technically a party member attacking an evil dude. counts as a fight.
Oblivious 4th Oct 2012, 9:14 PM edit delete reply
Yeah, a fight that ended with us dog-piled by the guards, a scene that would be repeated later by Soaring Song, oddly enough.
Copper Hamster 4th Oct 2012, 6:41 AM edit delete reply
I was involved in a fight between my ship and the BEG's big bad warship. We were near a major fleet repair base. Things were actually under control... he outgunned and outmassed me, but I was staying in his bad arcs and was tearing his ship apart. Unfortunately, one of the other characters was my superior, and had a 'better idea' for a trap!

So in hyperspace something like two or four or something thousand capital ships, some towing others. I've got things under control and refuse to do what he's proposing, and he orders me relieved of command, and my ship to evacuate the area. I protest mightily. Unfortunately I just recently took command of this ship, the last commander being him, and they side with the higher authority.
We hyperspace jump out, then... several thousand damaged ships are sent a remote self destruct command.
Given the power sources involved, the small ships have a yield roughly the equivilent of the Tzar Bomb.

So we have an area of space, a major break out point on a major space lane, with billions of tons of space junk, hard radiation, an expanding wave front shock wave the size of a small nova, and we just blew up a small percentage of our fleet.

Oh the bad guy? Not only did he get away from the flawless death trap to make our lives miserable for 3 more years, (the GM later commented that he felt that I would have won the fight and taken him out) but because of who he was, he overrode the self destruct on roughly five or six hundred ships and hyperspaced them out with him, sowing chaos and confusion as 'our' ships do things like attack our own convoys and such.
Colateral damage much?
Sewicked 4th Oct 2012, 7:04 AM Does it count? edit delete reply
Does it count if the collateral damage was on purpose? And part of our mission?

I have 7 words: high level druid w/ control weather spell. He boosted the local winds to hurricane level (cat 3 I think), and parked it on top of the town; for the hours long duration of the spell. One lookout tower and one other building survived, battered, because they were just outside the radius.
Digo 5th Oct 2012, 3:59 AM edit delete reply
I'd still count it. :)
Scottbert 4th Oct 2012, 7:17 AM edit delete reply
I played Palom in an online Final Fantasy crossover once.

Every single fight I was in did not go well for the scenery.

Fights where I was inside buildings were just _asking_ for it.

Although the _first_ time a meteor hit the building we were in it was totally Kefka's fault.
AkumaTh 4th Oct 2012, 7:41 AM edit delete reply
Suddenly that hat Cheerilee gave to Spike makes so much sense.
Snowy 4th Oct 2012, 9:30 AM edit delete reply
Go Cheerilee, get all the stallions and Twilight.
sunbeam 4th Oct 2012, 7:59 AM edit delete reply
This is the D&D wiki page for Dragon water, the most dangerous alcohol in existence. It's literally the liquid found in fire sacs. throwing a flask of it as someone can do more damage than a mid-level fireball spell. And as a once world-renowned chef, I can harvest it whenever we kill enemies that breathe fire. Red dragons, hell hounds, those weird spine worm things in the desert. I'm saving milk bottles of it for a rainy day. I'm really hoping I get to blow up the entire Tower of Woe with it, because that would be satisfying.
But yeah, while I haven't had a battle yet where I caused excessive collateral, it's coming...
sunbeam 4th Oct 2012, 8:00 AM edit delete reply
Oh, wait. There was also that time when our DM tried to split the party, so I summoned a rhino and charged through the separating wall shouting "Oh Yeah!" Surprisingly, this didn't bring the temple ruins down on our head.
banjo2E 5th Oct 2012, 8:54 PM edit delete reply
So, you've fortified your milk with what the world deserves?
Forest Flare 4th Oct 2012, 8:13 AM edit delete reply
In an ongoing campaign, me and another player recently started a bar fight. Unfortunately, the other player managed to accidentally trigger my powers and summoned a nuke in the middle of the bar. In exchange, I left him in front of another player, one who loves to stab him. Collateral damage is fun, even when its on accident!
Leo 4th Oct 2012, 8:47 AM edit delete reply
Oh god I have a great one. Pirates in some crazy flying ship attacked this city and were going to level it and take all of their loot, so we had to stop them. After fighting through it we found this ooze at the center of the ship that had no knowledge check. Because of that I just fireballed it to death with my sorcerer. It turns out that it had an odd ability that the GM took some libertys with and it started collapsing the world around it. After flying away and getting to safety, it had turned a 2 or 3 mile radius into a 2 mile deep pit... So my sorcerer can say that he destroyed a city on accident, which fits with his personality way to well.
Lyntermas 4th Oct 2012, 9:09 AM edit delete reply
Hmm. No, I can't think of any real collateral damage stories. Well, intentional collateral damage, anyway.

I mean, okay, maybe our lawful evil ranger used a cultist as a human shield against a fireball spell. And maybe that cultist was carrying some volatile materials on him. And maybe those volatile materials exploded and set fire to the whole catacombs. And MAYBE that fire set off some bombs that the cultists set up earlier, causing the floor of the temple above to collapse like a sinkhole. And MAYBE one of the bombs had "zombie gas" which turned all the bones in the catacombs into a giant bone horror serpent thing that crashed up through the floor of the temple, tore off a supporting pillar, killed two paladins and knocked out the High Priest.

But really, who could have seen that coming?

Judging from the DM's reaction in the comic, I think this conversation is relevant.
Zarhon 4th Oct 2012, 4:08 PM edit delete reply
You forgot to mention:

- Prying open a gas bomb with a kukri.

- Exploding a circus cart to destroy blood abominations (created with previously mentioned gas bomb), which in turn set fire to gigantic tent it was inside of.

- Taunting a dire Liger and causing her to smash through half a wall inside a temple.

- Knocking down a temple bell from its tower, causing it to punch a hole into the catacombs and ruin most of the rites room.

- Anything involving the dire liger (mostly uncontrolled, but still worth mentioning, such as the stained glass window and the mess inside her room).

- Dealing with a hostage situation by exploding both bad guy and hostage with a bomb.
Lyntermas 4th Oct 2012, 4:50 PM edit delete reply
...Huh. Forgot about those.

Okay, yes, collateral damage always looks bad. But the main thing about collateral damage that everyone forgets is that it must always be compared to the opportunity costs: what would have happened if the PC's did nothing. In this instance, it was a full audience of civilians dying and becoming zombies or worse, and the temple falling with the catacombs creating a monster anyway. So, at the end of the day, I think we came out ahead.

And when the temple keeps a dire liger and her cubs on the premises, that's the collateral damage version of "sunk costs."
Bronymous 4th Oct 2012, 5:41 PM edit delete reply
Speak for yourself, I have personal records that are in dire need of being broken.

I once took out a whole town, with ONE AF. Though now that I think about, the less limitation you give me when I choose to operate like that, the better. One AF? One whole towns worth of collateral. One Flying Warship with a full cargo bay of AF, mixed into one fantastic Napalm Strike? No collateral. AT ALL.

Unless you count two thirds of an opposing force collateral.
Masterofgames 4th Oct 2012, 9:12 PM edit delete reply
Okay, so this one time, I was playing an odd mix of 3.5, Paranoya, and the anime Slayers.

I was Lina.

Friend Computer is in charge of the warforged city that is attacking our home.

I cast Giga Slave.

Natural 1.

That is all.
Bronymous 5th Oct 2012, 5:25 PM edit delete reply
That would probably impress me if I had any idea what it meant.

Good job?
Masterofgames 5th Oct 2012, 8:54 PM edit delete reply
Ah, I should elaborate a bit then.

Slayers in an anime that contains a world that was the battleground between gods, and monsters. Both the gods and the monsters had a ranking system. The leaders were the most powerful monster, and the most powerful god.

Turns out they both have the same mother. Her name is "The Golden Lord", "She Who Shines Like Gold Atop The Sea Of Chaos", or perhaps most famously, "The Lord Of Nightmares."

Their mother scares the CRAP out of them.

She created FOUR universes by complete accident when she had an idle thought, the first thought ever.

Said thought was, "I'm bored."

Now, it's more or less been confirmed that if the Lord Of Nightmares ever decides that the universes are more trouble than they are worth when compared to their entertainment value, she is not going to fix the problem.

She is going to unmake everything.

The Giga Slave calls upon the power, (and mind) of the Lord Of Nightmares.

Cast it right, and pretty much ANYTHING is unmade, reased, destroyed, never existed, or what ever else you might want to call it.

Cast it WRONG, and you summon the Lord Of Nightmares.

She apears in your body, your soul suffering from a sudden case of not existing because of this. If you are lucky. If you are VERY lucky, she will erase the thing you were fighting with an idle gesture, and return to her home. If she is feeling generous, she MIGHT even remake your soul for you as she leaves.

If you are NOT lucky, she apears outside your body, and you get to watch as all of creation gets put firmly in the "Past Tense" area of grammer.

I wasn't lucky.
Quietkal 4th Oct 2012, 10:06 AM edit delete reply
In Demonu's campaign, our Pegasus sonic-rainboom'd before combat began and collapsed the mine while the rest of us were still in it, as well as a civilian. Surprisingly enough we all managed to get out fine. Well, we had to blow open the mine entrance again with a stick of dynamite to get our last member out, but on the whole very little damage was taken for running through a collapsing mine.
And in the current campaign I'm in on the Pony Tales forums, there's a high possibility that a robot cat is going to explode the entrance to this mine, trapping us inside with some rather unsavory ponies.
At some point I'll learn that going into mines is just asking for rocks-fall-party-dies, but for now I'll keep charging headlong into obvious traps.
Bronymous 4th Oct 2012, 5:42 PM edit delete reply
Me again... starting to see a pattern here.
Well yeah.... 4th Oct 2012, 11:04 AM edit delete reply
My party once unleashed a giant mecha and a Tyrannosaurus Rex into the same town while spectacularly failing to even try to fight either. I was being extremely merciful by just having them kicked out of (what was left of) the town and being told never to come back to the continent again.
Bronymous 4th Oct 2012, 5:42 PM edit delete reply
That one wasn't me, but I did do something literally exactly like it. Literally, T-Rex and giant robot.
Masterofgames 4th Oct 2012, 9:19 PM edit delete reply
Huh, small world. I also destroyed most of a city by unleashing a robot dinosaur.

Okay, so mine was a robot ankylosaurus, and I respinded not by ignoring it or running away, but by burrowing into it's head, ripping out the AI processor core, installing a cockpit in it's place, and then giving the whole thing a bright orange paint job, but still...

That's ALMOST the same thing, right?
terrycloth 4th Oct 2012, 11:04 AM edit delete reply
*Literally* chewed up?

Well... there was the time we talked a swarm of giant nanites into joining our pirate fleet for the Final Battle instead of wiping them out like the inhabitants of the floating island had hired us to do, and they digested the entire island and turned it into a fleet of warships.

The same battle had a giant zombie turtle that was basically landscape, but it was doing the chewing.
Demonu 4th Oct 2012, 11:13 AM edit delete reply
Collateral damage?

Well duh, how else are you going to have an epic "final fight" without leveling the battlefield?
Anonymous 4th Oct 2012, 11:16 AM edit delete reply
Stoned on weed? Is there any other kind?
Besides, you know, the one where you die from being slowly bludgeoned to death by rocks, which was clearly not relevant.
Digo 4th Oct 2012, 1:12 PM edit delete reply
I've been stoned off an antibiotic medication once. I decided to stop taking my meds after falling down stairs while under the influence. >_>
Stroth 4th Oct 2012, 11:34 AM edit delete reply
I've got a couple of collateral damage stories, but the best one is really to long to post here. The short version is that if you have a wold mage who causes a random conjuration every time he surges, make sure the DM didn't put '10 pounds of antimatter' on the list as a joke and then forget to ever take it off.We ended up collapsing the entire underdark. On the plus side, we were all posthumously sainted for wiping out the Drow.
CJT 4th Oct 2012, 10:10 PM edit delete reply
I calculate the yield from that as about 250 megatonnes.

Where did the new giant lake end up being?
Quick Thinker 4th Oct 2012, 12:19 PM Quick Thinker edit delete reply
man all these comments of D&D roleplaying make me wish i was old enough to play D&D im 16 and this sound freakin hilarious so if anyone wants to please invite me to a session i REALLY want to play and im pretty good at Role Play
Digo 4th Oct 2012, 1:10 PM edit delete reply
16 is a perfectly good age to start D&D! ...I may be biased though as that's the age I started. :) Hopefully you can find a group!
Quick Thinker 4th Oct 2012, 1:38 PM Quick Thinker edit delete reply
so is there any one currently waiting to do a pony D&D group for a game? if so can i join
Demonu 4th Oct 2012, 2:12 PM edit delete reply
LoganAura 4th Oct 2012, 2:36 PM edit delete reply
Well that isn't really a Pony D&D game, but yeah, Pony Tales IS really fun!
Bronymous 4th Oct 2012, 5:44 PM edit delete reply
There are non-Pony DnD games on there as well.
CJT 4th Oct 2012, 10:24 PM edit delete reply
I started at age 8. This would also be part of where the "it works better if the DM knows the rules" anecdote came from (I didn't).

If you can find a group of people interested in playing, and at least one of you knows the rules of the system you're using and can help the others generate characters, you'll be fine.
Ramsus 5th Oct 2012, 12:39 AM edit delete reply
Are you guys recruiting for my game without telling me ?_?

Cutie (QT, see?), I'm running a play by post with pretty loose rules and 4th ed flavor and the party could use a healer of some kind as the previous one had to drop out.

On the forums Demonu linked before.

Edit: So far the party hasn't destroyed anything. Then again the game just started. I'm sure they'll get around to it.
Quick Thinker 5th Oct 2012, 2:45 PM Quick Thinker edit delete reply
count me in :D
Anon 4th Oct 2012, 12:26 PM edit delete reply
Collateral damage. Mmm.

One time, our party was exploring an abandoned crypt on an island in the middle of nowhere. Several levels underground, we reached a tomb marked "Aurvain the Conqueror", the name of the undead Epic-level villain who had very nearly flattened the continent a few thousand years prior in the campaign backstory.

Our cleric, who had been secretly becoming Chaotic Evil, used Stone Shape to open the crypt and release Aurvain. Long story short, about two sessions later we had to abandon that campaign altogether because it was painfully clear that there was nothing we lowly 12th-level characters could do to stop him from destroying the continent with a literal sea of undead.
The Batman 4th Oct 2012, 1:24 PM edit delete reply
Wrecked a train full of civilians.
Zuche 4th Oct 2012, 1:44 PM edit delete reply
That sounds like the standard M.O. for a DC super-hero.
Kynrasian 4th Oct 2012, 3:15 PM edit delete reply
Oh yeah! Bigtime. I almost always play a class which can do both melee and magic, which seems to have a strange tendency to make my, fire-as-you-please, no penalty for casting in melee combat spells fire-based, which I in turn have a hilarious tendency to fire off when there is something flammable nearby.

In D&D 4e, I was playing a swordmage and let off a flame cyclone against two kobolds while fighting them amongst some trees. Before long, where there may have been a forest, there was now a huge bonfire.

While playtesting D&D Next, I play a draconic origin sorcerer. For some reason I always choose to use Burning Hands when I'm facing flammable objects, to date I have set a wall on fire, and an entire room on fire.

I'm sure the list is only going to get bigger as time goes on.
DrGPS 4th Oct 2012, 4:10 PM edit delete reply
Heh..I'm an old-time D&D gamer, from back in the 1980s, and I was solo playing with a friend of mine who was a new DM. He caused more collateral damage than anything else, mainly because I drove him insane. Afterwards, he never did want to DM again. I had a situation where I started out with a level 1 Paladin, and I got to choose an animal companion, so I chose a pig (it was all I could afford).

He found it amusing at first, and as I traveled through the forest, I would slay forest creatures, take some of the sap from the trees, and paste portions of their hides onto the pig (the lion's tale and bear ears were pretty funny I thought). This started to drive him crazy. He tried to have animals attack the pig, but I would heal it fine. He tried to have the wind blow down a tree on it, but it passed its dodge roll and survived. Finally, when we entered into a town, he collapsed an entire building on it, claiming the town folks had built the inn "poorly". I dug through the remains with some of the locals help (offering them healing as a way of thanks), saved the remains in a bag until I could afford to resurrect the pig. Took about an hour as he always gave way too much rewards for quests.

After that, he was obsessed with killing the pig. He kept having things fall apart and collapse (one was a poorly formed brick wall in a dungeon) in an effort to solve the problem. Since he was new to DMing, he couldn't come up with a better solution. One time, I used his technique of destroying things by sticking the pig in front of a wall that was the back to the Orc temple I was supposed to attack, thereby ensuring I could have a back way into it. By our 3rd session, he had talked to some people who helped give him advice, and he found a way to have me lose the pig when it was washed away in a flood. He refused to let me get a rooster after that and gave up DMing by the end of that session, as I felt I needed to be on a holy quest to recover my pig, searching the land for it.
Hariman 4th Oct 2012, 4:04 PM edit delete reply
Nah. No mass destruction for my parties. We got lucky.
Digo 5th Oct 2012, 4:03 AM edit delete reply
Or maybe your party is smarter than the average? :)
Zarhon 4th Oct 2012, 4:15 PM edit delete reply
Pony Team Bravo, surprisingly, wasn't responsible for much destruction. The worst we did was rip out and demolish a tree from a park (we used it as a club against the big bad, but the tree broke before the big bad did).

And what's even more baffling is the fact we have two sticks of dynamite and we STILL haven't used either for some incredibly silly purpose...
Bronymous 4th Oct 2012, 5:44 PM edit delete reply
Just more evidence that BaSgAS was way more fun.
Demonu 5th Oct 2012, 6:38 AM edit delete reply
I think it's more the fact that Pony Team Bravo forgets about additional items they have unless I explicitely remind them of said items :)
Bronymous 5th Oct 2012, 5:22 PM edit delete reply
All I know is, I didn't need any item to bring that mine down. Or pin that Dragon. Or set fire to the earth.
Xoia 4th Oct 2012, 4:32 PM edit delete reply
I did the opposite. I was playing a crazy chaotic good shadowcaster, and there were these shadow thingies (can't remember the name) that wanted to end all of creation. I convinced them i was on their side when they called my mind out of my body, they told me the incantation to release the one inside the sorcerers *not* girlfriend. I had my Raven Familliar say it, and the spirit was transported into him. Now the most dangerous enemy of creation EVER is in my pet bird.
DaughterofBastet 4th Oct 2012, 4:40 PM edit delete reply
Well... this one time, our DM decided to give us the powers of the Seven Deadly Sins, (apparently) as inspired by Full Metal Alchemist. So... our alchemist kept eating trees (thereby removing my favored terrain bonus), my tail (I was a druid/ranger, so wild shape happened), the ground, and even tried to take a bite out of the tarrasque's tail. It had no effect, of course, but the tarrasque's "WTF?!" reaction was pretty funny.
Malroth 4th Oct 2012, 5:13 PM edit delete reply
Neutronium Sword and A PC engineer decided to take apart the Gravatational Regulator to see how it works.....
CJT 4th Oct 2012, 10:14 PM edit delete reply
. o O ( "That was the annie plant going up. You can tell by the distinctive 'skoom!' sound." )
Malroth 6th Oct 2012, 8:38 AM edit delete reply
Maybe If I could get the GM to read Schlock someday.... :(
Dr. Klaus 4th Oct 2012, 6:52 PM edit delete reply
My players leave everything neat. Bloody, but tidy.

I...I feel like I'm doing something wrong.
Forderz 4th Oct 2012, 6:53 PM edit delete reply
So we were in some backwater town of the Empire we were trying to overthrow, and there's a giant tower in the centre of it. It acts as a rookery for the Emperor's mutant flying abominations/aerial scouts.

Now, this tower is wooden. I'm playing a pyromaniac, purity-driven druid with a charisma of 7, and acting as the party face as I'm the only one with any ranks in diplomacy. Unfortunately, the Binder in my party had recently gotten a hold of a wand of Summon's Nature's Ally, and was having fun spamming dolphins in every encounter.

Being pissed and a strong believer in the cleansing power of fire, I conceal my presence and cast wall of fire, vertically, on the tower.

I neglected to think about what having a burning tower in the middle of town would do to the surrounding buildings, and was later horrified to discover that the bottom floors of the tower were being used as an orphanage for sick children. Granted, we later learned that they were being purposely poisoned to provide a base creature to mutate into tentacled, winged baby abberations of nature, but at the time, I was devastated.

I put out the fires with liberal application of create water and summoned Water Elementals.

Later we messed with a gnomish time machine underneath the tower ruins, and accidentally making gnomes the dominant race in the Empire.
IonOtter 4th Oct 2012, 9:58 PM edit delete reply
Hmmmm. Collateral damage, eh?

In the game world I play in, different races have abilities. Some are elemental savants, and can control the elements like the various Benders from Avatar: TLAB. Others have the ability to manipulate magical energy by "seeing" the connections between "ley lines and power nodes".

Well, this character could conjure portals and use them to jump to different locations. Kind of a cross between the Teleport spell and an Aperture Science portal gun, only it didn't need to be on a surface.

Gravity, mass and inertia all apply.

So we're in a town, running from the local constabulary for numerous reasons, and we're fleeing along the river. The character gets a BRILLIANT idea, and searches for a portal point near or on the bottom of the river. They find one, and open a portal.

The river is close to 70 feet deep.

We keep running, and they find the next available portal point. We run past it, and they open it and connect it to the portal on the bottom of the river. We did the math and it came out to 30 PSI of water. Not very impressive? That's your normal kitchen faucet, after all.

Except the portal was 6 *feet* in diameter at both ends.

The guards were washed down the street, along with all the people, animals, carts, shop stalls, street lamps, paving cobbles, curb stones, sewer grates, public fountains, bronze statues of the king and other objects of disturbing size and weight.

We weren't very popular after that.
CJT 4th Oct 2012, 10:20 PM edit delete reply
Oh dear. That could let you recreate the "infinite mana well" device, or other similarly destructive feats.

(The IMW was a Mage loophole. Make a cylinder, put a repulsion effect on the walls, remove the air, put a brick in it, rig it with a teleport effect to move things from the bottom back up to the top. Brick approaches relativistic speeds. In that version of the game rules, you could turn things like kinetic energy back _into_ mana. For your purposes, you wouldn't need to. Relativistic bricks are their own fun.)
CJT 5th Oct 2012, 12:52 AM edit delete reply
Update: After googling (and then getting sucked into TVtropes), it looks like it only worked in GURPS Technomancer (I'd misremembered the system).

They also added a sidebar to the rulebook specifically saying that you couldn't do that, due to the game developer lurking on the forum where it was originally discussed.

It should work just fine in your game, though :).
Digo 5th Oct 2012, 4:07 AM edit delete reply
I'd hope to never be in the same zip code should that relativisitic brick ever touch a volume of air. :)
IonOtter 5th Oct 2012, 7:09 AM edit delete reply
Yes, I do believe that would be similar to the orbital weapon called "The Hammer of Thor" from the Shadowrun novel, "House of the Sun".

Which has a basis in conceptual reality, and is known as "Project Thor" on Wikipedia. Most awesome indeed!
Ramsus 5th Oct 2012, 12:47 AM edit delete reply
Well, in one of my old D&D games with my Beguiler Miang we did sneak into a city and proceed to burn down the docks, blind their entire scrying defense network, destroy the prison to free a monster, open the gates to the city to an invading army we were allied with, burn down a monastery, and steal an evil artifact that was sealing an ancient powerful otherworldly evil being all basically at the same time and followed that up by conning previously mentioned army's leader out of the matching good artifact by convincing both sides that our actions were necessary for the greater good. We also neglected to mention the evil thing we released before leaving the country to attend to other matters.

Edit: Oh right, we also stole a trained dragon.
DocMadfox 5th Oct 2012, 1:22 AM edit delete reply
First time poster, but I can actually say something relevant to this one. Story is my 4e group had just finished the Shadow Over Innsmouth based official scenario and were about to leave. My Dragonborn character proceeds to go and find the village's oil supply, douse the town in it, and use his fire breath on it so that "No one'll investigate and everyone'll just assume it was bandits." That and the entire session left both the DM and us players incredibly annoyed, enough so to swear off official scenarios, so burning the entire goddamn place off the map just felt good.
Dante 5th Oct 2012, 2:00 AM This one time edit delete reply
I remember one character I played lived and died by collateral damage, His name was Lee, and he was a chaotic evil warmage. And he managed to find a ring that meant he could cast spells without a vocal component making it very hard for people to tell what he was up to.

Two of the most memorable incidents were;
1) the group needed a distraction, so Lee turned to town stables into a raging inferno, complete with staff and horses inside.
2) We needed to take down the crown price so we wandered into his coronation and Lee started casting Earthquake. Which if used indoor causes the ceiling to collapse on people for extra damage. He was literally tearing down the castle from the inside.
Blue Moon of Storms 5th Oct 2012, 2:40 AM edit delete reply
Blue Moon of Storms
Maybe not an actual session, but a comic I'm making based on A campaign I'd like to run has a tavern get Rainbow nuked within the first few pages.

...Also, a Mage's Disjunction went off in the confusion; reverting the main characters to normal ponies instead of anthropomorphic ones.

Then there's the Hero's Guild the characters are rebuilding, which decided to GTFO by tearing itself from its foundations during the Nightmare Moon "incident" over a thousand years ago... Long Story...

All this is meant to be playable in Pathfinder by the way. So yeah, it's a "Campaign Path" in Comic form.

P.S. Its Extremely "epic Level" based. It starts at about Lv40 with the characters having a bundle of high power Supernatural/Extraordinary Abilities. Dash Has "Prismatic" spell based abilities as part of her movement, as well as Extreme movement speed Upgrades. And the others can be expected to have similar Perks. First Campaign Arc is expected to end at Around LV60.
Chairman 5th Oct 2012, 5:16 AM Chairman edit delete reply
I played this post-apocalyptic game, set several decades after the world ended. The town didn't really have a leader, but everyone obeyed this crazy old woman who lived in a super high tech bunker beneath town. Two people decided to infiltrate, and actually managed to trick their way in. However once inside they got caught by the automatic defenses and killed the old woman's granddaughter. She's tells them over the intercom to surrender themselves for execution or else.
They don't so she sets off a suitcase nuke destroying the entire town.
Then when one of them stumbled into my bar, half dead and radiation poisoned my character 'put him out of his misery'.
Qin The Kirin 5th Oct 2012, 9:24 AM edit delete reply
Long time i donjt post anything, so here whe go:
when me and some friends we played Star Wars, the rebelion know us as the wreckers, there was no imperial base, crime boss castle or place whe just downright demolished XD.
kriss1989 5th Oct 2012, 12:34 PM edit delete reply
Broken into Toys R Us + Ice Storm Shards + Shotgun Blasts + Dead Ghouls + Disassembled Fae Traps + Bloody Geoffrey the Giraffe Costume = Biggest WTF crime scene my PCs have ever left behind.
ThreeLeftHooves 6th Oct 2012, 5:59 AM edit delete reply
One of my GM's had to cajole me a little into acting heroic. It was semi-real superhero campaign with company sponsored super-heroes, and I was worried about the damage we might do to the building during the epic conforntation at the end of the session. The GM, exasperated with me for holding play time up while I worried about this, stared at me over the top of his rulebook and said. "It comes under the heading of Evil Villain's Lair, you're ALLOWED to destroy it."
Valron 11th Oct 2012, 11:20 AM edit delete reply
One great moment I've mentioned a lot was when one of our magic users blew himself up in an explosion of holy fire. He took out himself, all the freshly made shadow clones of the party we were about to fight, and the entire inn we were standing in. The kicker? The inn belonged to one of the character's mother. She is very upset that her inn got nuked, and she blames her son, who had nothing to do with it.
Aeron Nancet 8th Nov 2012, 7:53 PM edit delete reply
Let's see, the ground floor of a tower in Thay I set aflame with a Fireball spell, causing countless priceless tapestries, paintings, and pieces of furniture to catch on fire while fighting against of bunch of soldiers standing in the ground floor. However, the druid came by and put out the fire so I was still able to save several pieces. What else?

Oh, I remember that we AVERTED property damage by forcing the Fighter that we needed to join our party OUT of the tavern so that my Paladin could fight the drunken lout in a bout of honour and civility in order to subdue him. He tried to trip me with his stupid spiked chain, and forgot that I was a dwarf. :)
Alaku Levitas 2nd Jul 2013, 2:30 PM edit delete reply
Well there was that one time the dragon in our party incinerated the better part of a village while fighting orcs(it may have been trolls(they were big and ugly)). Then he juggled them... And cooked the boss alive in its armor by fusing the plates with electrical fire so it basically got spot-welded together... It wasn't a very long fight.
Grant 20th Jan 2014, 1:47 AM edit delete reply
Well, in Exalted we destroyed the fort we were supposed to save (really bad rolls and a DM who didn't ignore them even if they broke the game). Fortunately we were able to salvage the situation by switching sides.
My younger brother was DMing a House Ruled 4e game. We were only level 1, and he'd just slapped us over the head with a number of level 3 Vrelocka, which nearly caused a TPK in our first session. Needless to say, immediately afterwards, we progressed onwards considerably more carefully. After we barricaded the door, spent 10-20 minutes casting silence and comprehend language rituals and so on, the DM got a bit bored and decided to set the door on fire.

Exiting through another door, we were told that the enemies were rolling a barrel of gunpowder in our direction. Now my brother had experienced some overkill with my mage/ranger's play with explosives (there is a reason why Milo in the fan-fiction Harry Potter and the Natural 20 refers to Prestidigitation as Lesser Wish... if it can light a candle, it can light a fuse) However, in this case, my character attacked the barrel with Thunderwave. We agreed that doing so, for at least one round, the powder that was in the barrel would have been dispersed throughout the air over the five square cone behind the barrel. At which point, our shaman cast flame seed...

If you don't know what a dust explosion is, I recommend looking them up.

It took out the entire floor and a good portion of the wall of the castle we were storming, i mean, defending. Unfortunately for our DM, the demolition of the floor revealed the duke that we were searching for. Apparently we were supposed to drop a level on the other end of the corridor we were on, and fight our way through a large army to reach the duke.

We successfully managed to bluff the duke that we weren't responsible for the enormous destruction we just caused to his home...

My brother confided in me that were we a more experienced group (it was our first DnD game for most of the group, myself included) he would have had that explosion kill the duke, and we would have had to stumble on in our campaign with no story exposition.