Page 217 - Don't Wanna Be the Guy

8th Dec 2012, 5:00 AM in Bridle Gossip
<<First Latest>>
Don't Wanna Be the Guy
Average Rating: 4.5 (4 votes)
<<First Latest>>

Author Notes:

Newbiespud 8th Dec 2012, 5:00 AM edit delete
There comes a time when we're required to act very, very silly at the table - sillier than we're usually comfortable with. Some players (and DMs) can do this more readily than others.

Notice: Guest comic submissions are open! Guidelines here. Deadline: January 27th, 2023.



Raxon 8th Dec 2012, 5:00 AM edit delete reply

BWAHAHAHAHA! I love this! Silliness at the table is my thing! Story time today is about when you've been very silly by saying or doing something in character! I'll start!

I have plans for a barbarian from 'the tribe of the elephant'. After a long and difficult campaign, he turns to his friends and says, "You have fought by my side with honor. Now I honor you. I will make you my brothers and sisters, and you will always be welcome with my people. Now I will teach you the song of the elephant. It is tradition or every child to learn it."

I start playing some music, and I sing the song in character.

No, no hint about the silly origins of my character. Totally serious character right up until that point.
PrincessSpectra 8th Dec 2012, 5:07 AM edit delete reply
Fluttershy is now Prince, she was just singing all of her previous lines. =P
Raxon 8th Dec 2012, 5:11 AM edit delete reply
The prince formerly known as Fluttershy?
man that brought all my feels back. i remember watching SL&B way back when and doing the skinnamarink dance as a kid.

after rewatching that video, however, one frame made me bust out laughing.

at about 0:21 we see Bram sneak up behind the 4 guys so i rewind and star paying more attention. at 0:23-0:24 he raises his shovel, preparing himself to kill 'ol blueshirt+'stache.

look at his face moments before. there is no love or mercy.

only Bramwell.
Rokas 8th Dec 2012, 11:22 AM edit delete reply
You sir are some kind of nefarious mastermind. I am intrigued by your ideas and wish to subscribe to your newsletter.
Raxon 9th Dec 2012, 8:14 PM edit delete reply
I'm a looney. It's my thing. That and inserting sexual tension into places where it ought not be.

For example, cargoshipping is a common pastime. Not because I actually go for that kind of thing, but(usually) because it's too silly. I would make an elderly wizard nearsighted. Yes, I would make him a pervert. Yeah, he'd basically be a cross between Hugh Hefner and Mr. Magoo.

He gropes a fire hydrant. "My, you've been working out, my dear. Let me sweep you of your feet... Oh dear, you seem to have put on a bit of weight... Oh! My back!" And that is why the wizard is out of commission for a week.
Kirby 8th Dec 2012, 1:23 PM edit delete reply
Does trying to drown the group's Paladin for getting us attacked by a bunch of elementals count?

It's Silly because he caused the attack by throwing a bolder into a pit of magic mud, and then my warlock tried to drown him in the same mud.

Zuche 10th Dec 2012, 6:37 AM edit delete reply
Kirby, moments like that deserve a song. Pat Boone, the chorus if you'd please:

Magic... Mud Men,
Where paladin's fail,
Magic... Mud Men,
Warlocks will prevail.

RileaSW 8th Dec 2012, 5:25 PM edit delete reply
Two words: Minotaur Fighter.
Four more words: "You gonna eat that?"

Situation: Walking in on a cultist group ready to sacrifice a child, this is literally the first thing out of my characters mouth when he sees a baby on the altar.

Shortly before this had happened, I had worked with the other Defender in our party and tried launching our Dwarven Bard through the front door to the evil temple. The door didn't budge, but the bard didn't go Splat either, which would've been hilarious.
nekollx 9th Dec 2012, 10:04 AM edit delete reply
not a RPG but a story i wrote. Cultists are about to sacrifice a young woman totheir dark lord giving the sstandard "We sacrifice this virgin" spiell when our protagonists (disgused as one) ofhandedly comments "vergin ey? You guys should have told me about that"

Then as they give him THE look he proceeds to kick his ass. the woman of course is not amused when she asked "Why did you say that" after the fight is over

"seemed like a good idea at the time."
Ramsus 9th Dec 2012, 12:55 AM edit delete reply
Just about every other thing Whisper does.
AttentionDeficitGuy 10th Dec 2012, 2:43 PM edit delete reply
Well, there was one time when I was trying to get some local information from a barmaid... and my character accidentally worded it in such as way as to sound like he was hitting on her... nearly got me thrown out of the bar, that did. Needless to say, my character was no longer allowed to speak to barmaids. Or to girls in general, for that matter.
Raxon 10th Dec 2012, 2:51 PM edit delete reply
I like this idea. I think I will use it.
I am reminded of Red Mage saying, "Stop struggling! I have to show you what I have in my pants! It will make everything okay!"
Roy Hankins 11th Dec 2012, 12:25 AM HAHAHAHAHA edit delete reply
Silliness? Recently in my Zelda campaign, I had two NPCs whose only scenes were them getting screwed over by the PCs. So when the PCs are going up Death Mountain, I described as a deku nut left them all blinded. Through their blindness, they heard the two NPCs singing a cover of the Team Rocket theme. I sang it out, loud across the DM table. Twas a good day.
Jadelynn 8th Dec 2012, 5:09 AM edit delete reply
Is-is that title a joke on both Flutterguy and the game I Wanna Be The Guy?
Oblivious 8th Dec 2012, 5:18 AM edit delete reply
No, not at all... /liarjackshiftyeyes
Kiranis 8th Dec 2012, 5:23 AM Blu Mankuma edit delete reply
When i realized who voiced flutterguy i literary jumped around the house.

Blu Mankuma buck yeah!
Raxon 8th Dec 2012, 5:42 AM edit delete reply
Indeed. The only thing that could make it better is if it was James Earl Jones.
Masterofgames 9th Dec 2012, 12:27 PM edit delete reply
Not Robert Downey Jr.?
Raxon 9th Dec 2012, 9:13 PM edit delete reply
We want deep and manly and sexy, not prison punk or stoned.

Manly is James Earl Jones or Barry White.

Robert Downey Jr... Not so much.
Page-Mistress 10th Dec 2012, 6:19 AM edit delete reply
It's only REALLY funny if it's a black man's voice, because it's so opposite from her normal voice.
Raxon 10th Dec 2012, 6:48 AM edit delete reply
You make a persuasive argument, but it's mostly that celebrated black(male) voice actors all have that rich, sexy bass voice, whereas the very forgettable black voice actors voice teens and gangstas. Deep and manly? Good. Pimply bravado kid? Bad.

That being said, Bobby McFerrin would have to be an exception, because he could voice Gerald McBoingboing and never need sound effects.
Ryuutakeshi 8th Dec 2012, 6:01 AM edit delete reply
Acting silly? One of my characters is a bard. I have silliness as a class feature.
Ranubis 8th Dec 2012, 6:16 AM edit delete reply
Man, I wish that I could act this silly in a game. Thing is, whenever I play I always seem to end up as the serious, paladin-esque character. I mean, I do try to throw in the occasional quirk like having my Dwarf really, really dislike Leprechauns, but for the most part I seem to get straight-laced serious characters.

What really bugs me about this is that I have acted silly out of a game before, hamming it up as a greedy lawyer in a one-act during my senior year... oh my gosh. That's it, I have decided to portray my next character as Lawyer Cheese!

And ha! Just did a search for the character name, found a hilarious description:

Cutha Cheeze
He's a lawyer, enough said. He once fell over board in shark infested waters and was not eaten. Professional courtesy. He'll stop at nothing to achieve his goal of claiming Lucy for his wife and sending J. W. Booth down the road of degradation.
Meneth 8th Dec 2012, 6:19 AM edit delete reply
<a href="">I Wanna be the Guy!</a>
Raxon 8th Dec 2012, 6:27 AM edit delete reply
You gotta use [] instead of <>.

bbcode and stuffs.
WhirlwindIsAnAlicorn 9th Dec 2012, 7:47 AM WhirlwindIsAnAlicorn edit delete reply
[a href=""]I Wanna be the Guy![/a]
Evain 9th Dec 2012, 11:41 AM edit delete reply
...also, the coding would use 'url', not 'a href', and quotes aren't necessary.

I Wanna be the Guy!

Should be fixed.
Jesin 9th Dec 2012, 11:44 AM edit delete reply
Also, it's [url=something], not [a href=something]. Here's a BBCode reference.
Newbiespud 9th Dec 2012, 11:45 AM edit delete reply
And thus ends our crash course on the differences between HTML and BBCode.

That'll be $500. We take cash or credit.
Raxon 9th Dec 2012, 9:14 PM edit delete reply
Not a penny until I get my yellow boxes!
Kadakism 10th Dec 2012, 10:05 AM edit delete reply
No money, but I do have $500 in gum wrappers. If, you know, you want that.
Digo 8th Dec 2012, 6:35 AM edit delete reply
As DM, I often have to act out many different NPC types and it can be exhausting to keep changing voice type, mannerisms, etc. However, I do try to encourage my players to do the same for their own characters using EXP as bait.

For the times I'm a PC, I do keep up the acting, even if it's silly. One of my "Crowning Moments of Awesome" was a slice-of-life campaign where my character had multiple-personality-disorder and the second personality manifested as a hand puppet. I managed to play it so seriously that we had a wonderful time when the puppet ended up leading the party for one adventure.
Hijacked a bus too, not sure how that happened.
Kynrasian 8th Dec 2012, 6:41 PM edit delete reply
A very small excerpt from the D&D Next version of Caves of Chaos:

"This gnoll is crazed with pain and bloodlust."

Since the only alternative was to give the party a Runescape examine text-esque read-out of the information, I had to just take the words "hyena" and "crazed" and run with them.

After I was done barking at them, they sat and looked confused and I had to read out the text anyway.
Ranubis 8th Dec 2012, 6:54 AM edit delete reply
Panel 6: Pinkie approves.
Rugsrat 8th Dec 2012, 7:16 AM edit delete reply
I think one of my favorite moments for acting silly came from my Tuesday night super hero game that I DM. One character in that game just loves his tech, and one of his toys was a car capable of going 500 mph, invisibly.

So he was transporting an NPC who was basically a werewolf who was biologically in his early 20s, but with the mental faculties of maybe a 6 year old on a good day. And out of character this character started making 'vroom vroom' sounds while I was trying to GM another scene. So I asked him to knock it off.

The pleading eyes I got in return convinced my to give him 1 'vroom vroom'. But he had to make it count. So, after much psyching himself up and being unable to keep a straight face, he started, and five minutes later, he finally let out the second 'vroom'. There was much buildup. And after a bit a prodding, it seemed as though the character was making this noise as well.

So the NPC chimed in too. And then they got the other PC in the car in on it. So there was now a 3 person chorus of VROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM.
Kadakism 10th Dec 2012, 10:28 AM edit delete reply
Silliness in Superheroes is fun. One of my friends ran a superheroes game in which one of the most infamous bad guys was a master thief called The Magpie. He was a billionaire and owned plenty of legitimate businesses, and so most of his thievery was simply to prove that he could pull it off. To that end, he only stole items that were only a mild inconvenience to those he took them from. I can remember two examples of this.

Magpie primarily targeted a superhero defense attorney who he had a huge man-crush on. At one point, Magpie bought the hotel across the street from the law firm where this attorney worked. He then set up in a room looking directly into the lawyer's office. From there he cut holes in both windows and made a line of taped together straws in order to steal the man's coffee from the mug.

The second was during a court case regarding the collateral damage that superheroes cause. A small hole is drilled in the ceiling above. Through this hole is lowered a fish hook on a line. Magpie hooks a cheap BIC pen from the attorney's shirt pocket and lifts it away. Then one of the superheroes at the trial leaps upward to vanquish the villain, collapsing part of the roof in the process and proving the plaintiff's point in the judge's eyes.
GrayGriffon 8th Dec 2012, 7:31 AM edit delete reply
one of my favorite moments has to be my warlock. you see he was mentally unstable so he was very susceptible any crazy ideas he got.

we were near the end of a campaign and were holding out on top of a cultists tower in the middle of the town. an army of cultists were of course coming up after us, so my warlock proceeded to roll barrels of gunpowder down the stairs (yes he carried gunpowder) and with a bit of fire nearly blew up the entire tower.

i'm getting off topic, so when all the cultists were dead my charecter took it upon himself to take over there role in the town, so he stood on the balcony of the tower and began singing cultic chants... only he forgot them early on, so he just started singing "Kumbaya" instead.
Limitless Zero 8th Dec 2012, 7:40 AM edit delete reply
Limitless Zero
In this one 4e session, we had our first legitimate death, and I figured it would make sense for our characters to get a bonus to attack and damage from the drama. The DM said that first I had to shout something

Morathor 8th Dec 2012, 8:38 AM edit delete reply
I'm gonna go with the ventriloquist and his animated dummy.
Most animated objects in the setting can talk, but their ability to move is very limited. But when one of the players wanted an animated ventriloquist dummy for his character, I decided it had a full range of motion, but was completely mute.
It was a ton of fun pantomiming the dummy's wild gestures and seeing how he replied to it. They had elaborate philosophical debates about citrus fruits.
Akouma 8th Dec 2012, 8:39 AM edit delete reply
I'm in two separate DC Adventures games right now, both set in the same universe. Both can get unbelievably stupid. In one, I play as a minor deity who left his plane to seek recognition elsewhere since he's the laughingstock of his homeworld. At one point, the party, minus a couple of people who are ahead of us scouting, was in transit to an enemy base where we were going to rescue our kidnapped students. The vehicle we were in is a LOT slower than his maximum land speed of ~256 million miles per hour, and the base was underwater. At one point while he's waiting, he goes "I could've gotten there, drowned, reconstituted (he's immortal being a deity and all), then teleported down there by now." He also has such memorable lines as "[Character name], if you're going to engage in a pissing contest, find someone with a penis first," and "Students, welcome to Basic Magical Theory. For your first lesson, I want you to turn to a random page in your spellbooks, then cast that spell."

In the other, we're playing a super-villain game. My character in that is an ice mage who kills people for the lulz by freezing their veins so they burst. He also discovered a spell that let him see the lifeforce of every living thing in a massive area. (Those of you who happen to read the fic Powers of Harmony will probably recognize this is being very similar to Libra.) Not five minutes into the first session, we're talking about ways to kidnap the mayor for ransom. My character tosses out the idea that he could just kill every non-mayor person in town hall right now, then they walk in and take the mayor. The Ringleader, a villain who's schtick is that they act like a circus ringleader, says that it's much more impressive and dramatic if we only take one person. My character loudly retorts that "Well of COURSE anyone can get just one person. I'M EXTRAPOLATING!"
XandZero2 8th Dec 2012, 9:41 AM edit delete reply

HA HA HA... uh...

I don't get it (:
Zuche 10th Dec 2012, 7:16 AM edit delete reply
Akouma, I can see that insult backfiring pretty badly, considering that the people with the best.. uh... urinary "penmanship" I've seen were all women.

It should not be possible to dot an i with a heart by such means. So wrong...
Raxon 8th Dec 2012, 9:33 AM edit delete reply
How about a haughty wizard who looks down on primary magic users(other than priests) who are not wizards. He considers warlocks to be the lowest, but he doesn't think much of sorcerers, because he believes they're lazy. To him, necromancers are glorified puppeteers who are awfully full of themselves, for being overgrown childrens entertainers.

And then there's druids. Hoo boy, the druids. Let me give an example. He sees an elven woman wearing a dress with flowers all over it, and he sees her talking with some animals. He makes the not at all unreasonable assumption that she is a druid. A couple minutes later, she's introduced as queen of the elves. Everyone with him is appropriately respectful. The wizard bows deeply, and then they all hear him laughing. He's not bowing, he's doubled over with laughter.

"HAHAHAHAHAHA! Your country is ruled by a dirt witch! I had no idea flower gardens were effective in repelling invaders! Please, teach me how to sell rainbows and smiles to other countries!" The queen orders the guards to seize him, and when they grab him, still laughing, he says, "Drown me! Roast me! Hang me! Whatever you do, just please don't throw me in the briar patch!"

He gets out of it, but not before the queen engages him in some percussive debate and explains that she is not a druid. She's an elf. He apologizes profusely... For calling her a druid.

Technically not from a game, but still uses D&D settings. Still, I got to make a Bre'r Rabbit reference, and the wizard only got moderately severely beaten by the hippy elves.
Zuche 10th Dec 2012, 7:18 AM edit delete reply
The reference was beautiful, Raxon. Many thanks.
XandZero2 8th Dec 2012, 9:59 AM edit delete reply
BTW - I usually play Paladins and such in RPs, but I usually find a way to even make paladins pretty goofy.

Good example:

I had this one half-troll paladin in a Steam-Punk RP I played in, Vashan Gremgore, who had an ax named Garnock that he talked to constantly and loved like his best friend.

He had such memorable lines as:

"Garnock, what should we do today?

"What do YOU think Garnock?"


"Count me and Garnock out..."

-Of course, we also had times where the party would vote on something...

Party Mage: "So that's two votes we steal the keys from the guards and sneak in during the night... And two votes we break in during the day while shouting BLAAAAAAAAARGH!"

Me: "No, no. That's THREE votes for breaking in... You forgot to count Garnock."

It got to where whenever I started talking to my ax, all the other players in-character would roll their eyes and say, "Here we go again..."

-Out of character, they loved the running gag though.

Oh, and one other thing about my paladin - He loved to sing - with a deep, rumbling manly voice (because he was a half-troll).

Vashan had a nature goddess that he worshiped, Dhunia (basically mother earth) - and whenever the party would sit down for any length of time, he'd break out into a chorus of "Kumbiya" - only with the words changed to:


Every "Goddess" was said as one syllable, except for the last, and usually, when Vashan started singing (in-character now) it would be a sure-fire way to get the party up and moving again!

GAWD! How I miss Vashan and Garnock...
Grrys 8th Dec 2012, 10:25 AM edit delete reply
Recently, we started a new campaign where I'm playing, not Gming. I' playing a half-elf paladin that loves drinking, wands, and fucking over elven and human bigots. The party also has a goblin alchemist. In Pathfinder, Goblins don't like the written word, as they believe it steals the words out of people's heads. The our little fire bomber (goblins LOVE fire) uses a picture book to prepare everything. He has a 25% chance of making a potion or something that doesn't do what it was intended to do (CLW actually being ILW, etc.) If he wants to use something but doesn't remember what it is (which is everything), I'm the one who volunteers to try it. So far, I've drank some alchemist's fire, holy water, and an alchemist's bomb. Yes those are different.
Anvildude 8th Dec 2012, 10:56 AM edit delete reply
Gnomes are essentially made for this, especially in Pathfinder, where they have a bit of the Fey in them.

My one Gnomish Spellslinger (magic gunman) started taking item creation feats and engineering skills, and then we managed to kill a giant spider. I'm Small, it's Large. I claim the chitinous cadaver, and have it loaded on the wagon.

"I'mma gonna make this into a Steam-powered Mecha Spider that breathes fire!"
Eventide 8th Dec 2012, 11:52 AM edit delete reply
Long time reader, first time writer. Good comic, by the way! I enjoy reading the comments people leave, too, and since my current D&D group can be hilariously goofy, I decided I needed to come out of lurkdom and tell y'all about some of our shenanigans.

We have several campaigns going on right now. One has a gnome illusionist whose family name is River. He's Founden River, his brother is Drownden River, etc. We also had a paladin with a great sense of humor. Well, my character and the dwarf barbarian had gone out to scout the long passage ahead of us (don't ask; my character always seems to get stuck with the barbarian, to his chagrin). We came back to find a troll attacking the party (actually an illusion that the rest of the party was playing along with). The barbarian immediately saw it for the joke it was. My character, who's usually very perceptive, rolled below five three times in a row to try to deduce it was an illusion, so he thought it was completely real and acted accordingly. It wasn't until the entire party was laughing at my character (including the barbarian that was STANDING RIGHT NEXT TO HIM) that he finally figured it out. They still give him crap about that, though my character has a good sense of humor, too, and did admit it was a great joke.

Slightly earlier in the campaign, we'd come across what we thought was the ancient temple we were looking for. It consisted of two huge ziggurats in the middle of the jungle. After taking out a bunch of lizard guys ("Oh, my horde," as we called them because most came in a big clump), we investigated some strange magical contraption on top of the ziggurat we were on. Turns out, it has some pretty sweet magical powers, one of which fires an intense beam of sunlight at an object up to 15 miles away. Basically, it's a giant laser beam...but it can't be fired at people. Sad. :-[

Anyway, one of the other things it could do was see objects up to 15 miles away (like a massive telescope...probably for aiming the light beam). My character has the best eyesight and made his Use Magic Device check, so he used the telescope thing to see what was at the top of the other ziggurat. There were three columns with a black, shadowy sphere at the top of each that appeared to pulse rhythmically. The DM said the spheres looked kind of metallic with some kind of foggy darkness around them. Someone mentioned shooting the light beam at it. I was like, "Shooting one unknown magical thing at another unknown magical thing?! No, no, no, no, no!" We talked for a while about the other object and figured that perhaps it absorbs sunlight while the device at the top of our ziggurat took sunlight and refocused it elsewhere.

My character was still looking through the device at the dark thing on top of the other ziggurat. He mentioned that if the dark thing absorbed light, maybe it would be interesting to see what would happen if we fired the light beam at it.

Then the lightbulb in my brain went off.

I proudly declared, in the proper dorky, nasally voice, "I CAN ATTACK THE DARKNESS!"

I almost killed the poor DM. No one else got it (oddly enough), but almost making the DM pass out from laughter was good enough!!!

In our other campaign, I play a rogue. So that means I'm the cannon fodd--I mean, trap-"detector" scout-person. (He has insane Perception and Disable Device checks, which makes this story even funnier.) I checked out an entire cave complex from the ceiling (because I can do that), found it was clear, and went back to tell the party, who then came down to check it out themselves. I dropped to the floor and started looking for traps since I'd been on the ceiling, not paying particular attention to the floor (which the party would soon be walking on).

DM: "You find some writing on the floor."
Me: "What language is it written in?"
DM: "What languages do you speak?"
Me: [tells him; one is Draconic]
DM: "It's written in Draconic. [suspicious pause] Do you read it?"
Me: "Uh-oh. *sigh* Yes, I read it."

Apparently, I discovered explosive runes. Go me. I take nearly 20 percent of my HP in damage, get thrown back 15 feet, and land flat on my back. Ow. I explain that the rest of the party (who are up a shaft not far away) hear an explosion, a moment of silence, and then a faint, too-calm voice: "Found a trap."
Oblivious 8th Dec 2012, 11:55 AM edit delete reply
Love that look in panel 2, as I've had that look in RP's before; the look on Fluttershy's face says: "Please don't make me do this character, pretty please?"

Course, she got off easy. I had to sing for the first time in front of strangers when that happened to me. :/

For the uninitiated, I can't sing for beans...
CJT 8th Dec 2012, 4:07 PM edit delete reply
That's when you take a page from DBZA!Krillin's playbook, and loudly start singing The Song That Gets On Everybody's Nerves.

I still want to see a music video/montage based on that scene, just for the painful hilarity value.
Oblivious 8th Dec 2012, 10:38 PM edit delete reply
No, that's what I did afterwards; it was a scene planned for World of Darkness, and it started more innocently than we expected. But yeah, I made the Storyteller suffer for that one afterwards. :P
ThousandYearSunrise 8th Dec 2012, 11:56 AM edit delete reply
You know what I'd love? A fandub that replaces all of Fluttershy's lines with the Flutterguy voice. Don't get me wrong, I love Andrea Libman's voice, but that voice was hilarious.
Aegis Steadfast 8th Dec 2012, 2:56 PM edit delete reply
Aegis Steadfast
There comes a point in every newbies life where they really.... really...

Sod it, I lost the words.
Laurence 8th Dec 2012, 3:55 PM edit delete reply
I was GMing a group in an Eberron setting. One of my players rolled fairly decent for his fighter's stats, but ended up with a 6 for his intelligence. I gave him an opportunity to reroll it, but he insisted on keeping it. what followed were some of the most hilarious role-playing I've ever bee witness to.

Perhaps the finest moment of all was when the party was hired to track down a NPC who knew the whereabouts the the MacGuffin they were tasked to find. He was in a bar, and a had a wonderful little bar brawl set up for the group of level 3 adventurers. The party briefly stopped to make plans outside, and then rushed in. At that point, the 6 intelligence fighter yelled at the top of his lungs, in RL mind you, "GIVE US WHAT WE CAME FOR!!!" It was so unexpected, that all of us ended up laughing for a good half a minute.

I gave him a free surprise round to act in.
Half_Baked_Cat 8th Dec 2012, 4:30 PM edit delete reply
For funny stuff that happened, all I have to do is look to the last session.

We were fighting a flesh golem dog. After several rounds of combat, the dog bites the drug dealer of the group (alchemist) while he is flying. My dwarven rogue proceeds to run towards the door the dog was guarding to open it. The dog drops down and bites my dwarf's ass.

Thinking quickly, I come up with a brilliant plan to get away. I'll take my pants off.

Cue series of jokes about the lower region of the dwarf, including the fact that he has a very long beard down below.

Sadly, the dog decided to attack my dwarf again, which dropped be to negative health. The dog took out a dwarf that was running around with no pants on.

This clearly saddened the dog because it then attacked the half-dragon dwarf, before slamming its own head into the ground and killing itself.

This is only some of what happened to just my character. Although, my character did die for a short period of time that session (got to -13 health when his con is 12). He got better though. Later, we entered the building, got attacked by mongrelmen. My rogue jumped behind them because I rolled a 3 on a d20. With my bonus to acrobatics, that means it was a 17.

The mongrelmen were in the wrong place at the wrong time because my party was a bit upset at nearly getting our asses kicked by a dog. A dog that died through suicide because it could not bear the thought of having to tell the story of how it handled the party.

So, the mongrelmen died very quickly.

Later we are on catwalks above acid and bleach. We are attacked and an explosion goes off, causing the catwalk we are on to collapse. The DM allows for those of us that wish to, to roll ridiculous reflex saves. I rolled a nat 20. I proceed to bounce off of things to land safely on a platform. I am a bouncy little dwarf. We were in a sphere of darkness, so my character could not see anything, but I managed to jump and land safely despite that.

Once again, all this silliness was just my character. The others got some funny stuff in too. And the laughs were much greater than for a usual session.
Giggle Tail 8th Dec 2012, 5:18 PM edit delete reply
Giggle Tail
Almost didn't have a story, but I just remembered a hilarious one:

In our all-evil campaign, our cleric had a soundboard for his character (technically it was just a stereotypical fat jerk soundboard app, but it fit his character pretty well). Every line from the sound board was said with a heavy Scottish accent.

At one point he managed to have an entire, sensible, serious conversation with an NPC just using that soundboard. The funniest part? He unexpectedly ended it with the line "Oops, sorry...I farted."

Cue everyone at the table laughing uncontrollably.

Also, as far as general silly moments go, in the same session of the same campaign, we ended up in a bar fight that burned a tall building to the ground. There were few survivors.

Fast-forward to not long ago in our current campaign: one of our group members wants to start a bar fight. We all simultaneously say "NO," to which I alone added "not after last time!"

Again, everyone at the table cracked up.

There are plenty of other general silliness moments from our campaigns, but I'll save those for another day....
PrincessSpectra 8th Dec 2012, 11:57 PM edit delete reply
Does this soundboard also happen to include the phrase "Get in mah belly!"? =3
Giggle Tail 9th Dec 2012, 7:14 AM edit delete reply
Giggle Tail
E'yup. I figured someone on here had probably heard of it :P
PrincessSpectra 9th Dec 2012, 2:01 PM edit delete reply
Well the only Scottish fat jerk character I could think of was Fat Bastard from one of the Austin Powers movies, and the line you quoted is one of his lines, as is the one I quoted, and I kinda figured that's what it would be. ^_^
Giggle Tail 9th Dec 2012, 2:43 PM edit delete reply
Giggle Tail
Yeah, that was the soundboard. Didn't realize it was for a specific character lol
Valron 8th Dec 2012, 6:24 PM edit delete reply
Silly characters huh? I have just the thing. I've been helping a friend flesh out a very silly character concept he's got. He's a cleric that thinks he's a wizard, due to having an Intelligence of 3. He has no idea his magic comes from a god, and believes he is actually casting the spells through skill. And that's not even the real silly part. He's a 2 foot tall gnome wearing the most generic purple star-covered wizard robes ever with a 1 foot pointy wizard hat on his head. And my favorite detail: he's got a 10 inch stone garden gnome under his giant hat, which he truly believes is alive and is a powerful being of darkness and evil that was charged with protecting him. It's actually just a garden gnome. Yeah, this guy is going to be fun! I plan on playing a very serious half-orc monk that knows he's actually a cleric and is determined to keep anyone from letting him realize the truth, as I believe the gods have plans for his madness. And this is only the bare surface of these characters. I can't wait to start a game where we can play these guys!
Hirou 8th Dec 2012, 6:37 PM edit delete reply
Being silly? Just a few ours ago out party rougue with less than average Int and Wis (hurray for 2ed-style rolling) tried to pickpocked a lich. Which wasn't actually agressive. Till that moment.

Well, on plus side, lich is content with her new undead servant
Destrustor 8th Dec 2012, 7:05 PM edit delete reply
All my memorable characters are a bit silly:
The Thri-kreen psion with a maxed-out (yet officially useless) "philosophy" skill, wearing a beret at all times, and a life-long dream of creating the "eggoat", a creature that is half-egg, half-goat.

A wizard/barbarian who uses his spellbook as his primary melee weapon and has pimped it out accordingly, travelling with two psion/barbarians fighting with equally ridiculous weapons: a bar stool and an oar, respectively. When he couldn't decide whether to worship Thor or Odin, he compromised by worshipping "Thodin" and hoping the gods would sort it out themselves. Neither deity was pleased.

An insane mage whose alignment is best described as "chaotic explosions".

A gnoll whose wish in life is to taste every kind of meat in the galaxy (it was a space setting), especially other sentient beings, who almost became the litteral familiar of another player's wizard.

A grippli barbarian with a full-sized greataxe thanks to the oversized weapon feat. Think of a two-foot-tall frogman wielding a six-foot-long axe and screaming.

Another barbarian (man I'm making a lot of those lately) who only communicates in grunts and screams. The "character description" lines on the sheet are filled with such gems as "size: AAARGH, eyes: GREUUHA, height: aarararhghglhfg". His name is HRAAARGH or something.

Some of those were my most epic characters ever. They actually WORKED as characters. That's just silly.
Zarhon 8th Dec 2012, 10:08 PM edit delete reply
My character would probably fit the bill: A gemcutter unicorn pony, who suffers from narcolepsy and when he does, sleepwalks something silly.

He was introduced to the party whilst asleep in this manner and spent half the session asleep, even sleepwalking through a fight.

His other feats include:
- Taking a shower whilst wearing a sombrero and balancing the water in it, whilst asleep.
- Decapitated 10 zombies at once, with dinner plates.
- Tackled a teammate, whilst asleep, to stop her from throwing another teammate out the window of a moving train.
- Dreamed he was on a beautiful beach vacation during a black ops mission within a Changeling Hive.
- Rode on a petrified statue of a Changeling Queen down from the roof of a Changeling Hive, much like on a slip-&-slide, whilst swinging a cowboy hat, Dr. Strangelove style.
- Dreamed of going through the entire schooling process all over again, during a desert trip.
- Had a team-mate throw him in the same manner as Shining Armor threw Cadence at a locked door/illusion spell. He used a spell to make his head tough as rock beforehand.
GrayGriffon 10th Dec 2012, 3:55 PM edit delete reply
Thank you... just thank you.
Limpurtikles 9th Dec 2012, 12:03 AM edit delete reply
Here's one for y'all. it's from one of our sessions in Drakar och Demoner (Dragons and Demons, kinda like a swedish equivalent to Dungeons and Dragons, excpet a bit more low-fantasy; less focus on magic items and dungeoncrawling and more emphasis on staying the fuck alive in the cold harsh world).

Anyway, me and the party was helping to escorting a carriage when we where attacked by a Lindwurm (think a giant monster-snake with a big ol' mouth full of teeth and two arms in front to grab things) who bursts out of the ground. Only thing was, it didn't look right. It had miscolored scale and smelled even more foul. Short story, zombie Lindwurm. First thing that happens; the guy we hired to drive the carriage faints.
Finally, we managed to drive it back into its hole. Now. What to do with the driver.
Our archer comes up with the great idea to tie him up and put him over the horse for a while, something our knight questioned very strongly. When the archer said he wanted to loot the driver too, that's when the heated argument started. It was the funniest thing ever with gems like:
Archer: That's it! I draw my bow and say "Don't take one step closer!"
Knight *completely in character*: "Hah, you can't fire that from less than 2 meters range!" (Short range for his bow in the book was 2-40 meters)

As if that didn't break the mood enough, the GM eventually decides that the Lindwurm comes back thanks to all our bickering (which had gone on for at least 15 minutes in real time).
GM: While you stand there shouting, the Lindworm shoots out of the hole, looks at you-!
Me: And yells "SHUT THE **** UP!"

Needless to say, the GM wasn't happy with me either X3
Ranubis 9th Dec 2012, 7:37 AM edit delete reply
Ha! That's awesome.
Xoia 9th Dec 2012, 7:50 AM edit delete reply
My warlock, Zarn's introduction to the campaign *as i was absent the day it started, this was day 2* Was using his magic blasty thing to blow up out of a barrel he woke up in on a ship, with a squishy fish.
Xoia 9th Dec 2012, 7:59 AM edit delete reply
My shadowcaster, Zarn Jr. *and these characters were both CG* Finished my last campaign with taking the ultimate evil we finally discovered was controlling the cultists of the city, possessing another characters "not girlfriend" and decided what to do with it.

These were things aligned to the shadow plane, so naturally, when they wanted to communicate with someone, they chose the person who's powers used shadow, and the shadow plane.

They were omnicidal, and wanted to kill everything, because of the philosophy that "Everything will end in darkness, so lets help that process along."

They told him the secret to extracting the evil spirit out of my friends "not girlfriend", and bring it into himself. That was to speak a code-word while looking into her eyes, to accept the spirit into yourself.

My character had a pet raven familiar, who spoke common, named stephano. Not wanting to risk accidentily destroying the world, but not wanting to miss out on this opportunity to learn so much about the nature of the universe *he was a wanderer usually, thats how he was the only shadowcaster that we ever came across, he randomly found these truths and powers* he had stephano the raven say the word, and now the ultimate evil of the universe is trapped inside his pet bird. The pally tried to clense it, thought he succeeded, but actually failed, so my bird holds the ultimate evil of the universe in it, and everyone is none the wiser :D
Grey Pen 9th Dec 2012, 7:59 AM edit delete reply
SERIOUSLY!?! All you did was bolden it?! No colors, no silly font!?! What is wrong with you!
Raxon 9th Dec 2012, 9:03 AM edit delete reply
I've tried, but the comments section does not support background colors for text. It's sad, I know.
Newbiespud 9th Dec 2012, 11:44 AM edit delete reply
Dude's got a point. Missed opportunity there, and I didn't even think of it. Maybe I'll try something down the road...
Raxon 9th Dec 2012, 11:48 AM edit delete reply
Darn straight he has a point! My comments just aren't as engaging without my characteristic yellow boxes.
LoganAura 9th Dec 2012, 12:44 PM edit delete reply
I vote for having the lines in cursive bright neon colored.
CJT 10th Dec 2012, 9:52 AM edit delete reply
Bold gets the point across without making it unreadable. It works for me.
Ravenscroft RAVEN 9th Dec 2012, 10:29 AM edit delete reply
I like to RP while DMing, and like the players to as well, or at least as well as players ever really can. One thing that I do as DM is act out, partially, the actions of the characters.

At one point in a campaign, the party (displaced "accidental dimension travellers" standard plot) had to visit the Great Admiral, a military stand-in for an existing princess too young to take the throne. Tropeful plot, I know, it was on purpose.

As the party discusses how to enter to speak to them, I slowly wind up shifting my position, until I'm sitting with ankles crossed over one armrest of my "DM throne", half-laying off the backrest and other side's armrest, eating grapes.

When they realized it, and realize that they needed to gain the help of said person, knowing the RP scene would be mandatory here, they cursed well before I could even say "Caesar's laurel crown" in my best Hedonism-bot voice.

Fun game. BESM setting, so the characters have stupid awesome powers and combat is ridiculously cinematic...
CJT 10th Dec 2012, 9:54 AM edit delete reply
Did you get to use the "I have a vewwy gweat fwiend in Wome" line?
TaraSwanwing 9th Dec 2012, 10:56 AM edit delete reply
Our party druid has always been very stoic. And pretty much mute. So we came to the obvious conclusion, that in order to find out what her back-story was to appease some inquisitive elves, we had to get her drunk. Very drunk. And then of course everyone else was drinking, we'd managed to resolve the romantic tensions between our elven inspectors, and the dog was an alcoholic.

Meanwhile, the rest of the party was about to get eviscerated by a gang of anti-bureaucratic thugs. I think Aidyn and Evin are going to have a little chat with our cleric next session...
Quindo 9th Dec 2012, 4:18 PM IWTBTG edit delete reply
I see what you did there...

That game is EVIL!
Keith 9th Dec 2012, 4:58 PM edit delete reply
"Stop that! It's silly! Now, no-one likes a good laugh more than I do. Except perhaps my wife...and some of her friends...and Captain Johnson. Come to think of it, most people like a good laugh more than I do, but that's no reason to start being silly."
Raxon 9th Dec 2012, 9:22 PM edit delete reply
Do I need to have Biggles dictate a letter?
q97randomguy 10th Dec 2012, 8:13 AM edit delete reply
So this was our 3rd session, and we were level 2. And in jail... So, my wizard/rogue is trying to pick the lock while distracting the guards by hypnotizing 2 other prisoners to fight each other. The lock picking goes terribly. So I try lighting a fire in a different cell while I try again. And fail. Now the guards are suspicious. "If one more weird thing happens, you're dead." (They weren't very nice guards...) So what does our Robot Pirate named Captain Jacks Perrow Model#3 (Some sort of fighter warforged)decides that NOW would be a GREAT time to screw with me. "I do a barrel roll." He rolls a 6 and hits the bars of the cell. They look over, see that, and say. "That's it, you're dead." Then they take me out into the desert to kill me. (I ended up living, but it was close.)
Zuche 10th Dec 2012, 8:48 AM edit delete reply

I cannot believe what it is I'm reading,
It just gives me a bad feeling,
For each sentence I'll be speaking,
Thinking of this voice makes me want to shudder,
I don't want to screw this up and blunder,
With every moment I spend on words that I would rather not utter.

I don't want to say a word,
Don't want to make a peep,
In this manly voice,
I just don't want to say a thing,
Cause I don't think you thought this through,
There's not a lot I'll get to do,
When I don't want to say a thing.
notTHATdash 10th Dec 2012, 9:25 AM edit delete reply
I was playing a dwarven fighter in a party with another dwarven fighter and a half-giant barbarian. I did the math, and the barbarian had sufficient strength, so I kitted myself out in spiked plate with two particularly vicious blades mounted at my hips and all sorts of latches.

Our first task, without anyone knowing, was to defeat an army of orcs. My character hates orcs more than anything else in the universe aside from paisley.

"Hey, Jack." (He called the giant Jack because he could never pronounce his actual name)
"You ever go bowling?"
Follow this with a spiked ball of metal being rolled into the mob of orcs, popping open to reveal a dwarf with a double-great-axe, and the DM rolling a 1 on the panic roll... Good times.
Hennith95 10th Dec 2012, 4:45 PM edit delete reply
I think some of my funniest roleplaying moments have happened when I was playing the straight man to someone else's shenanigans. This usually happens with my broody half-elf archer.

The first time this happened to her was after she had been having a meaningful, "I'll be there for you because you were there for me" sort of talk with our wizard. As soon as this concluded, the wizard received his first kiss (from another character), and my character vacated the room immediately with bright red cheeks.

Further hijinks ensued when my archer was at a dance with some of the other party members, and failed a grapple check to avoid being pulled into a dance with a female fighter NPC. She had to make a reflex save in order to keep up with the dance, too. After this, she got pulled away to get a makeover with the fighter and the bard. The rest of the party ignored her pleas of "Help me...!"

My absolute favorite funny moments, though, are from the interactions between this archer and another player's character, a super-strong, battlespike-adorned Warforged who was just starting to take levels in the Reforged class. He started out speaking in a robotic manner, and then began asking my character questions like "What is it like to have parents?", "What purpose does this 'hair' on your head serve?", and our favorite:

Warforged: "Archer, you seem tense. I understand that a 'shoulder-rub' can ease tension. Shall I administer a 'shoulder-rub'?"
My character: *backing away* "... No, I think I'll get over it."
Crisis 11th Dec 2012, 12:12 AM edit delete reply
I once had a character who was, basically, a Native American warrior (not that America or the indigenous tribes actually existed in the campaign, but you get the idea) who gave the entire party nicknames.

One of the party members was made to be a humongous jerk with a terrible singing voice, and a desire to sing all the time (his player loved to try and induce pvp among the party members).

My character dubbed him 'Man With Voice Like Wounded Duck' and referred to him as such the entire campaign.

That entire group was made of silliness. I can't remember what they all were caused by, but there were often times when the game had to be halted so everyone around the table could stop laughing.