Page 243 - Dodongo Dislikes Prejudice

7th Feb 2013, 5:00 AM in Bridle Gossip
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Dodongo Dislikes Prejudice
Average Rating: 5 (2 votes)
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Author Notes:

Newbiespud 7th Feb 2013, 5:00 AM edit delete
Every webcomic gets one "wall of text" gag free.

The title of this page is intended to be a reference to Mike Renner's In Wily's Defense, which turned the occasional wall of text strip into a running gag. (It's also an awesome webcomic, by the by.)

Notice: Guest comic submissions are open! Guidelines here. Deadline: January 27th, 2023.



Vegetalss4 7th Feb 2013, 5:05 AM edit delete reply
It's amazing the kind of things that can be perfectly logical from the veiwpoint of someone/pony in a roleplaying setting.
Anon 7th Feb 2013, 5:08 AM edit delete reply
If I may offer one piece of critisism to this comic, it is that the big white spaces that occupy some comics really need to be filled with something.
Pseudo_Nym 7th Feb 2013, 5:26 AM edit delete reply
I don't think it'll happen often - that was part of the gag involving the length of her speech. But a psychedelic background could of been nice, I'll grant.
DoubleCross 7th Feb 2013, 6:42 AM edit delete reply
Maybe I could make him a random rainbow-heartsy-sparkle background for use for blank spaces.

Incidentally, Rainbow Heartsy Sparkle is now best pony.
Digo 7th Feb 2013, 6:46 AM edit delete reply
I would have gone with several closeups of Twilight's lips moving.
Raxon 7th Feb 2013, 10:13 AM edit delete reply
Or a closeup of a terrified Daisy.
CJT 7th Feb 2013, 12:23 PM edit delete reply
A blueprint, or a flowchart documenting how things got to this point, might work. On the other hand, anything with any details at all would be distracting.

Expression reaction shots from Daisy could be fun as well.
kriss1989 7th Feb 2013, 8:03 PM edit delete reply
The obvious answer is that it should be shrimp.
DoubleCross 8th Feb 2013, 2:12 AM edit delete reply
That will be added to the rainbow heartsy sparkle background.
Tatsurou 8th Feb 2013, 11:31 AM edit delete reply
No, see how crazy the MLP universe is on a daily basis? With D&D craziness added? This is obviously the universe without shrimp of which Pharohman spoke.
Digo 7th Feb 2013, 5:43 AM edit delete reply
In an old D&D campaign, there was once a fortress I named Dodongo. The party ranger, cleric, and archer always joked about how "Dodongo Dislikes Smoke".

So naturally when the adventure finally led them to go and storm the fort, they set the whole place on fire. All three floors, both basements, and pretty much anything that moved or was stationary.
Thanks to them I now know that you can set anything on fire. Anything.

"I didn't know you could burn juice." -Rarity
Raxon 7th Feb 2013, 10:11 AM edit delete reply
Everything burns if you have enough wax and sawdust. And to be fair, in a medieval setting, there's totally no reason why you can't make thermite, too.
Digo 7th Feb 2013, 10:21 AM edit delete reply
I did something similar in a D&D plot-- a villain was gathering the ingredients to invent gunpowder, but what made the adventure so much more authentic was that none of the players knew the ingredients out of character.
Once they got enough clues to add it all together, they were... quite estatic actually on the idea they'll all soon have guns. >_>

Um... no.
CJT 7th Feb 2013, 12:26 PM edit delete reply
Getting the aluminum could be tricky; that's electrically refined nowadays (and the old way of getting it wasn't much easier).

That said, it did show up in our Pathfinder campaign. One of the new alchemical substances that could be bought/made was called "ironburn", and was pretty much that.

We used it a grand total of once, to damage a magical artifact that was summoning low-level aberrations as part of a long-dead sorceress's security system.
Malroth 7th Feb 2013, 1:11 PM edit delete reply
well besides the whole complete lack of Aluminum which happens to be the main ingredient in thermite but hey you're a PC so you might just make that DC 40 chemistry check to discover the stuff
Raxon 8th Feb 2013, 6:27 AM edit delete reply
Aluminum was discovered a very, very long time ago. Waaaay before it could be refined. And if we're playing D&D, chances are good that the party has access to all the electricity we need. If not, we can use sapphire dust. That is aluminum oxide.
CJT 8th Feb 2013, 9:39 AM edit delete reply
Aluminum-bearing compounds were known in ancient times (apparently alum, which those over 40 may remember, was one of them). But the idea that there was an element called aluminum as the basis for those substances was a much, much more recent discovery.

Sapphire's also kind of overkill. Garden-variety dirt and rock are aluminosilicates (mostly composed of a solution of silicon dioxide and aluminum oxide, with any of several alkali metals as dopants). No all dirt, by a long shot (sedimantary rock tends to be carbonates, for example), but lots of it.

We use bauxite because it's higher concentration, not because it's the only aluminum-bearing rock.
Aegis Steadfast 7th Feb 2013, 1:26 PM edit delete reply
Aegis Steadfast
We once pooled our money to make a bomb so we could get into an underground cultist stronghold, I was able to call in a favor with the local guard (and earn thier ire by halving thier wages that month) to make it a good one.

Once that thing went off I think we took out most of the building, several of the cultists defected or were too busy holding the rest of the building up to fight us. Yet our bard attacked one of these after I'd established we do not attack none hostiles.

Bastard nearly killed her...
Digo 7th Feb 2013, 1:46 PM edit delete reply
"There's no kill like Overkill"

Yeah, I have a distaste for PCs who don't believe in taking prisoners. Sometimes a little mercy goes a long way on villains.
Raxon 7th Feb 2013, 2:39 PM edit delete reply
Theoretically, the perfect war is a war where each army counts up its soldiers, rates them on their abilities, gauges the number and quality of its weapons and supplies, and the nation with the smaller rating loses, and has to give the winner ten bucks.

That would result in no need to take prisoners.
Kynrasian 7th Feb 2013, 2:50 PM edit delete reply
Not to mention, in my experience, those players almost always ruin any social encounter that comes up.
Digo 7th Feb 2013, 4:18 PM edit delete reply
All too true.
Kiana 8th Feb 2013, 3:25 AM edit delete reply
And by 'nearly killed', Aegis means left at single digit HP and dragged into the middle of a brawl.

One of the supposed big, dumb mooks ate an opportunity attack to push her out of harm's way.

That was fun. Made the party feel rather uneasy.
Aegis Steadfast 8th Feb 2013, 3:27 AM edit delete reply
Aegis Steadfast
Needless to say, if I have any say in it (and as elected party leader, I do) should this game ever start up, he's not rejoining on account of being tied up and dragged off to a mental ward with all the cultists he insulted for no reason at all.
Digo 8th Feb 2013, 4:45 AM edit delete reply
Sometimes I wish my group would organize under a party leader. They always seem to prefer a mob mentality.
MWS 8th Feb 2013, 4:14 AM edit delete reply
"I'll burn your house down... with the lemons."
darkwulf23 7th Feb 2013, 5:49 AM edit delete reply
So how much does the second wall of text cost?
Jason Shadow 7th Feb 2013, 6:09 AM edit delete reply
Jason Shadow
$4.52 or the soul of a rhododendron bush. But it has to be a virtuous rhododenron bush.
Digo 7th Feb 2013, 6:49 AM edit delete reply could you tell? O_o?
ThousandYearSunrise 7th Feb 2013, 6:56 AM edit delete reply
There are ways. There are always ways.
Destrustor 7th Feb 2013, 8:04 AM edit delete reply
Ancient chinese secret.
Gden 7th Feb 2013, 8:12 AM edit delete reply
Druid spell commune with plants
tuxgeo 7th Feb 2013, 8:51 AM edit delete reply
"Commune With Nature":
D&D 3.5 Casting Time: 10 minutes.
D&D 4.0 Time: 30 minutes.
Raxon 7th Feb 2013, 10:21 AM edit delete reply
Wow, my price was $4.95! Where do you do your speech shopping?
kriss1989 7th Feb 2013, 8:06 PM edit delete reply
That's why you go with the 3.5 version, it's competitive!
ThousandYearSunrise 7th Feb 2013, 8:48 AM edit delete reply
Whenever I try to make speeches, my friends get antsy and bored.
Raxon 7th Feb 2013, 10:07 AM edit delete reply
Whenever I make speeches, people take notes. Maybe you're doing something wrong.
Digo 7th Feb 2013, 10:22 AM edit delete reply
Having a weapon at the ready usually works for me.
Raxon 7th Feb 2013, 10:33 AM edit delete reply
When I make a speech, I make it good. Trust me when I say that if a speech is long, make sure it has pacing and builds up to a big moment. Most of the speeches I write are either in character information being passed around, or something intense, like a sanity slippage speech.

I might have such a speech, if you guys wanna see how to really do a sanity slippage speech up proper. Or at least as proper as I can do it.
DanielLC 7th Feb 2013, 10:48 AM edit delete reply
I'm surprised you can do sanity slippage. Don't you have to start out sane?
Zeeth 7th Feb 2013, 1:32 PM edit delete reply
Actually, you could slip from one form of insanity to another. A relatively sane mad scientist, who's starting to believe he's a pirate, for example.
KathiraNarae 7th Feb 2013, 12:39 PM edit delete reply
I would LOVE to read one of your sanity slippage speeches.

After all, you're only acting. It's fairly easy to act sane. Everyone else manages almost constantly.
Raxon 7th Feb 2013, 2:12 PM edit delete reply
I guess I could post Raxon's memory speech here. Raxon is a character in a few of my stories. He started out as merely a wizard with ADHD, but then he got trapped in an odd demiplane void, not aging, but still experiencing time. Bear in mind that he is(in theory) one of the most powerful supers in the world. And yes, my screen name comes from the character. He was my favorite character in a MUD until things forced me to retire him. Here is it:

Janet said, "I don't think I've ever seen anyone who schemes and plots as much as you do! Have you ever done an unselfish thing for anyone without any thought of your own gain?"

Raxon laughed. "When I was a younger man, I was kind. I was a clumsy, naive, unlucky fool, who charged into danger to save others, never heeding my own safety. I was powerful, and I used that power to protect and help others. I had a house. It was a big house, and I housed many refugees and exiles. I funded the house, and the other inhabitants took care of themselves. I had close friends I loved like family. We adventured together. I was engaged to a kind, gentle woman. I was so happy."

She rolled her eyes. "Yeah, that sounds real nice. What happened?"

Raxon took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. "I had a bad day. Just one bad day. I made one mistake. I had an experiment, and I was in a hurry. I can't remember the details. It's been so long. She... I think I might have been in a hurry to finish because because I was going to meet her, but... It, it's been so long. I just don't know. I forgot to take precautions. Or I may have ignored them. I don't know, I was in that place so long. I walked into that portal, and it collapsed. I don't know where it was. I do remember that the rings that bound us together let me watch her. For twenty years, I watched her live. She found my lab a wreck. She found my destroyed experiment. She was the first to understand what it meant. She knew I was lost. She mourned me for five years. I watched her marry another, and bear his children. I was so glad that she had found happiness. She grew old. Her children left. She died one night, silently, peacefully. And then I could see no more. She was my only link, and she was gone. I spent so long, alone in that place. There was no light. There was no dark. There was only me. There was nothing for me to do, except hone my mind, train my skills. A century passed in that solitary place. I grew more skilled every day. Another century, I grew sharper, my skill increased, my mind grew clearer...

"I was in that void for a little over eight hundred years. I had nothing to do but train. practice my magic. Tune my body. sharpen my mind. Then, one day, eight hundred, twelve years, three months, and six days after my mistake, something was different. I noticed the smallest, most imperceptible crack in my prison without walls. I escaped. I was free. I was not home. This was a new world. A difference Earth. There was no magic here. I alone held such power. I could be king. I had been trapped within a prison without walls, but now there was an entire world with no power to stand against me. There was only one problem."

"What problem is that?"

Raxon smiled. "I didn't want the world. I tricked a ruler into giving me an island all to myself. I gathered people from around the world. I built a country. My power grew still. Finally, I was needed for a great battle on a different plane. It was so great a battle that my link to the earth was broken. When I tried to return, I ended up here. This is the third world I have come to call home, and I will not surrender it. Not again. I won't lose another family. Not like that. I will not fail them. I will not allow myself to be separated. I will stay, and I will protect them. I must protect them. I cannot let this family fall. It will not be raided and burned like the great house! My family will not be killed by a band of thugs, whether those thugs be common bandits, or the most powerful nation in the world. I will fight, and I shall wipe the earth of my enemies as one wipes the blood from his sword."
The MunchKING 7th Feb 2013, 12:03 PM edit delete reply
The MunchKING
Parley is French for "Everyone else is flatfooted and unarmed".
Raxon 7th Feb 2013, 10:07 AM edit delete reply
IWD? I love that comic!
jmartkdr 7th Feb 2013, 1:03 PM edit delete reply
I, too, would like to see that speech. It might be useful in my current game. (we're in Dracula's castle, and the DM is a sadistic bastard)
Ekevoo 7th Feb 2013, 5:43 PM edit delete reply
How was that a wall of text "gag"? I expec at least a little bit of lampshading to constitute a true wall-of-text gag.

Also… well… to be honest… in Daisy's place… I'd go: "GOOD LUCK FIGURING THAT ON YOUR OWN!" *SLAM*
kriss1989 7th Feb 2013, 8:13 PM edit delete reply
"I'm sorry, could you please repeat that slower so I can understand what you're talking about?"
Malbutorius 7th Feb 2013, 10:36 PM edit delete reply
You know what I love? I love it when Players dont give there Charrie a background, Why you may ask? Because then I get to make there background, and I get to make the Barbarian transgendered, the Wizard a god turned mortal, the Cleric Gay and the Rogue Incapable of having sexual relations with anyone due to pissing off the wrong god (He still has the necasary parts, he just cant have sex)
Raxon 8th Feb 2013, 1:07 AM edit delete reply
DMs like you are the reason I prefer to write 200 page backstories.

Also because I like writing about two hundred pages detailing the exploits of a guy as he goes on adventures and saves the world, defeats Atropal, and spars with Crom in his spare time. The last ten pages tell about him getting married and raising a son.

My character is that child. It's funny cause nobody reads the whole backstory! Laugh, darn ye!
Digo 8th Feb 2013, 4:54 AM edit delete reply
200 pages? Nice. I feel like I won the Lottery if I got two paragraphs from most of the players in my group.

There is one player though who gives me a nice page-and-a-half of background. The only downside is he always connects his character to all his past characters.
It's like they all were in the same wood shop class in highschool or his character's parents were related before marriage. I dunno.
Raxon 8th Feb 2013, 6:31 AM edit delete reply
You think that's bad, wait until you meet my wizard who comes from a long line of wizards, and born twins(hexadecaplets?) with fifteen other guys, who are also wizards. Doesn't sound so bad until you learn that I really like Paranoia.
That Guy 8th Feb 2013, 1:42 AM edit delete reply
I do enjoy DMs which try to change major characteristics of PCs on the sole basis that "They didn't write it down." It gives people like me a reason to return a little suffering right back.

If they like combat, I make a crafter and force them to keep track or slowly bend the rules because they're willingly turning a blind eye. If they enjoy roleplaying, my character suddenly has a fascination with poison.

While there are some players who won't mind having someone else create a backstory for their character, there are just as many who become disconnected when a DM starts punishing players before a game even begins over something essentially optional.
Digo 8th Feb 2013, 10:35 AM edit delete reply
See, when I DM a game, I like to tinker with backgrounds. Not change anything, but make connections where the player left blanks.

1. American Indian PC writes about his family, but never mentions his father. I eventually add part of the campaign a discovery that dad was a wizard and had a second son. This "brother" is now the BBEG.

2. US Marine PC write that he had a daughter that was kidnapped years back and he never did find her. I eventually add in the campaign a business woman who becomes an important "Deep Throat" contact for the party. She later turns out to be the Marine's daughter, grown up and running her own freelance business in economics.

3. Ranger PC is black sheep of family. Instead of farming he takes up adventuring. After nearly getting eaten by a dragon, a kindly old woman helps train him to better prepare against the BBEG. Later it turns out the old lady is his estranged grandmother, another adventurer who split from the family decades ago over the same quest.
Moonrush 8th Feb 2013, 9:28 PM Random infodump WHEE edit delete reply
And then when your NPC self-insert is found dead with their blood drained (I had the rolls for it, getting natural 20s while everyone else was asleep raised many eyebrows), you learn that players like me really hate it when DMs do that. Especially when it happens despite the many details you DID add, but apparently I never said my character DIDN'T fuck a princess with a father known for causing wars over that stuff happening. She got kicked out when it happened to the guy whose house we normally go to for sessions. That went off topic quickly.
Malroth 7th Feb 2013, 11:22 PM edit delete reply
The rogue then declares that the wizard is the god that cursed him and vows revenge
NightWolfMane 8th Feb 2013, 4:30 PM edit delete reply
Heck my current pathfinder character is a drow martial artist that left his family because they where nobles and he was a ordinary drow doomed to be sacrificed to demons, and he has a Anti-Paladin father, Katana Master (fighter) older brother, Assasian (ranger,rouge,fighter) younger Sister, and a Priestess of Demons (Cleric) older sister.
NightWolfMane 8th Feb 2013, 4:33 PM edit delete reply
Oh and they all want him and everything he holds dear to be brutally eradicated.