Page 251 - Race to the Finish

26th Feb 2013, 5:00 AM in Swarm of the Century
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Race to the Finish
Average Rating: 5 (2 votes)
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Author Notes:

Newbiespud 26th Feb 2013, 5:00 AM edit delete
And here we go with Swarm of the Century!

For today's comments, tell a story about getting physical at the gaming table - whether it's acting out what you're doing or strangling your fellow players.

Notice: Guest comic submissions are open! Guidelines here. Deadline: January 27th, 2023.



DaughterofBastet 26th Feb 2013, 5:00 AM edit delete reply
Hey, now, a 45 minute recap can be crucical to the players' enjoyment of the story! Or, y'know, boring.
DaughterofBastet 26th Feb 2013, 5:03 AM edit delete reply
As for getting physical, my character was attacked by a roper or something from behind, so I strangled myself to indicate I was being choked to death, much to the confusion of the party, who had pretty low Perception checks. Took them 3 rounds to get it off me... Does that count?
Zuche 26th Feb 2013, 7:40 AM edit delete reply
The judges hereby recognize the choking of self as a valid example of getting physical at the gaming table.
Raxon 26th Feb 2013, 8:52 AM edit delete reply
You know, bringing props and smacking interrupting players with an inflatable baseball bat sounds like a wonderful way to pass time getting through the intro.
Digo 26th Feb 2013, 9:00 AM edit delete reply
Using inflatable bats to interrupt the interrupting player's interrupt? Sounds good.
Raxon 26th Feb 2013, 9:52 AM edit delete reply
Relevant image.

Sorry, I literally google imaged "giant inflatable hammer" and that was the largest one I could find with decent scale. I know I've seen them bigger than that. Like five to six feet tall bigger.
aylatrigger 26th Feb 2013, 10:48 AM edit delete reply
It's better than the 45-minute introduction to the tavern. There's a reason the party skips town when my oldest brother is DMing, and it is very much related to the composition notebooks he fills with details on the lives of everyone in the town, staged bar fights, and 50 pages before any adventure hook. Sometimes your players won't mind their contact going by the name 'Fred'.
Digo 26th Feb 2013, 12:49 PM edit delete reply
Sounds like the group has to make saving throws against Flavor Text.
Malroth 26th Feb 2013, 1:53 PM edit delete reply
better than a repeating 45 minute recap that happens every time a player shows up.
Vellikat 27th Feb 2013, 12:23 AM edit delete reply
Guest 26th Feb 2013, 5:00 AM edit delete reply
Ha! I'd forgotten about the Rainbow Dash gag! And now gagged!
Spitz 26th Feb 2013, 5:08 AM edit delete reply
I had gotten a pie thrown at me once, due to having pie that day and a trickster demi-god whose reactions to arguments was a pie in the face. Does that count?

And,errr... Hi. Just completed reading the series. What a time to be able to join in, huh? :D
Newbiespud 26th Feb 2013, 5:15 AM edit delete reply
That does count, though I'm finding it hard to imagine using up a perfectly good pie to play out a roleplaying moment.

Anyway, welcome! Perfect timing, coming in on a new arc. Tell me, what do you think of the comic so far?
Spitz 26th Feb 2013, 6:30 AM edit delete reply
ohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh Spud's talking to me!

One: It wasn't a full pie, t'was half of one. Two: Still a waste of a whole half pie.

The comic so far, I can see quite clearly as actual campaigns in D&D. Honestly, I don't know much about 4e, since I prefer 3e, buuuut...

I think the players are doing well, and you're actually transitioning the ponies pretty well.

I liked that Zecora was hauled off in the last one. Nice change of pace.

And oh dear Woona, the comments. Come for the comic, stay for the comments. Sooo many ideas coursing through my head because of them. Of course, the comic's to blame for that too.

I think the DM's doing just fine, building it as they go. The moment when they had to step out for a minute while AJ's player had a talk? Truly touching. This DM knows they still have a lot to learn.

And you, as the webcomic author... You pick the perfect screenshots, I swear.

Can't wait forthe rest of this episode to go down, though truly I think just about any episode could go by pretty well. Ooh,I wonder how Alicorn-Twi... Wonder how that'd happen.

ANYWAYS... This is yet another Brony thing I'm gratefull for being introduced to. You truly are doing good, and I wish for you to keep it up.

P.S. Stairc as your DM... man you're lucky.
DoubleCross 26th Feb 2013, 9:47 AM edit delete reply
Ahahaha, the omigoshes. Cute, you know? Kinda brings back memories...

Raxon 26th Feb 2013, 10:01 AM edit delete reply
This reminds me of the time my mother baked a cherry pie. It was a really nice pie, with crimped edges and a lattice crust. I was eight, maybe ten, and my brother was around five. We had been watching too many Bugs Bunny cartoons.

There was cherry pie everywhere. Have you ever tried to get cherry pie stains out of a ceiling? Ahh, the folly of youth. My mother had never screamed so loudly in all my life. Come to think of it, I've still never heard her scream as loud as she screamed that day, when my brother and I, covered in cherry pie, ruined her kitchen.

No, cherry pie doesn't ever really come out of stucco ceilings.
DoubleCross 26th Feb 2013, 10:37 AM edit delete reply
Once you know 'cherry pie' is an innuendo, this memory became horrifying.
Raxon 26th Feb 2013, 10:41 AM edit delete reply
I did not understand innuendo as a kid. In fact, I was well into high school before I started to pick up on it.

And yeah, I guess you could consider that horrifying, if that kind of thing freaks you out.
DoubleCross 26th Feb 2013, 11:08 AM edit delete reply
Try a word replacement game.
CJT 26th Feb 2013, 2:15 PM edit delete reply
A sponge full of bleach, a lot of scrubbing, and a lot of cursing could probably get the stain out, but it might be less work just to re-paint the ceiling.
Cain 26th Feb 2013, 11:52 AM edit delete reply
Welcome to the crazy club Spitz. Don't worry, we don't bite that much.
Raxon 27th Feb 2013, 11:53 AM edit delete reply
I'm the chairwoman this week!
Cain 27th Feb 2013, 5:21 PM edit delete reply
and I'm the Whackmaster.
Digo 26th Feb 2013, 5:08 AM edit delete reply
I played "Paranoia" once. ONCE.
It is the kind of game that requires a specific frame of mind to make it work, and while I didn't have it, I could play along with the humor portion.

The Team was sent to find out what happened to a previous team that was sent into the HVAC maintenance area to take out a rogue robot. Turns out the team killed themselves over how to destroy the robot so now we had to take out this thing before it killed us.

Unsurprisingly, we got into an argument over how to deal with the robot so the GM had us act out our combat actions. Somewhere in the middle of it, I picked up the GM's kitten and handed it to another player stating it's a live grenade.

Thus began the most hilarious game of live-grenade purring hot potato ever. It ended with half the party dog-piled on each other with the kitten on top. And then the grenade goes off at the end of the round...
Zuche 26th Feb 2013, 6:54 AM edit delete reply
Just once? Oh, Digo... that's what Paranoia wants you to think.

Hilarious story, though. "I am become Fluffy, the destroyer of characters."
BadHorse 26th Feb 2013, 6:57 AM edit delete reply
I played Hassle: The Dorkening once
Digo 26th Feb 2013, 9:02 AM edit delete reply
Never heard of Hassle.

I did come up with the idea that if the players ever want to try Paranoia again, we should totally use the Toon system. It seems like that's two peas in a pod.

...well, a commie mutant traitor pod to some.
aylatrigger 26th Feb 2013, 10:55 AM edit delete reply
Just don't tell the players and go ahead with using the toon system. If they question you, they are commie mutant traitors. Knowing what system you are using is above their clearance level.
Scratch27 26th Feb 2013, 1:46 PM edit delete reply
Hassle: The Dorkening isn't a real game, as far as I know. BadHorse was just referencing an MC Frontalot song.
CJT 26th Feb 2013, 2:18 PM edit delete reply
Either he or the song was also referencing the various "Foo: The Bar" games in the World of Darkness setting.

My favourite take on that was by Aaron Williams, in this "Full Frontal Nerdity" strip.
Hennith95 26th Feb 2013, 3:59 PM edit delete reply
Funnily enough, the one time I played "Paranoia", the goal was to track down and stop a group of commie mutant traitors that were distributing a My Little Pony tabletop role playing game. This was about two or three years before MLP:FiM showed up. And sadly, we did not have anything nearly as adorable as a kitten grenade happen to us.
Chrisco 27th Feb 2013, 9:33 PM edit delete reply
One time during a Paranoia game the GM gave us a small box with a button on it. We were free to push it as many times as we wanted with the understanding that each time we did he'd make our lives worse.

I pressed my button so many times he took it away.
Kaze Koichi 26th Feb 2013, 5:14 AM edit delete reply
I completely agree with Dash on this one. And her previous recap was awesome.
Oblivious 26th Feb 2013, 5:40 AM edit delete reply
I have a policy for live games: I start throwing stuff at a player when they do too much to derail the session, and I make this known for every live campaign. Luckily, I don't have to enforce it...most of the time. The bard in our current Pathfinder campaign cavalierly ignores it and has taxed the patience of myself, the DM, and the rest of the group, so things have gotten a bit...heated, to put it mildly. So dice, shoes, soda cans, and the like have flown. This sounds unreasonable, I know, but if I have to hear One Direction one more frakking time because of this guy, I'm gonna lose my mind. @.@
Digo 26th Feb 2013, 5:50 AM edit delete reply
I have players who seem to hate puns so badly that they bring Nerf weaponry to the sessions and fire them at each other for making bad jokes.
This has only served to enable players to purposely make more bad jokes just to have excuses to fire back. Game devolves into flying foam. 9_9

I now have to invoke an Exp penalty for the discharge of Nerf weaponry in my sessions.
Gden 26th Feb 2013, 6:12 AM edit delete reply
I played with a DM who had a policy called the blue ball of death. It was a crumpled piece of blue paper. If you bugged him enough he tossed it at you, and your character was dead.
Zuche 26th Feb 2013, 7:02 AM edit delete reply
There are large foam dice available for just such a purpose, but things can quickly get out of hand. Rolling d6 or even d12 damage is fine, but never declare that you're rolling to hit with the d20.
Digo 26th Feb 2013, 9:08 AM edit delete reply
One of our players had a huge, near-solid plastic d20. He loved it because it rolled well for him. We hated it because it would trample over the game miniatures we had on the table.

In order to accomodate a compromise, we let this player use an old, wobbly end table to roll so that our main table wasn't destroyed by "d20 falls, everyone died" incidents. It worked for about an hour.

Then in the middle of combat he made his Warlock use a maximized Eldtritch Blast and chucked his d20 at the end table for his attack roll.

The table collapsed under the die's weight.

Game was paused for a good twenty minutes because were were on the floor laughing. The giant d20 had rolled a 2, which I guess was as close to critical failure as the universe would allow before it collapsed on itself.
Raxon 26th Feb 2013, 8:55 AM edit delete reply
I'm not big on pop music, so no worries there. I hope you guys like showtunes.
Oblivious 26th Feb 2013, 11:47 AM edit delete reply
Show tunes are fine, just keep the pop music to something tolerable.
Raxon 27th Feb 2013, 3:49 AM edit delete reply
I also have a repertoire of horribly depressing songs. I think my bard would use them to inflict morale penalties to the enemy.

A Boy and His Frog: A tribute to Jim Henson.

I'd Like to Give My Dog to Uncle Sam: This song is a huge pet peeve of my bro. It's about a blind boy who gives his dog to the army.

I try to avoid songs about messy breakups and love gone wrong. It's just that they're so common, and they don't affect me at all. Except for one. I also have a few old war songs about a kid who went off to war, but didn't come home. Turns out that's a really common subject for war songs. Oh Danny Boy is a common one.

Alternatively, I could sing terrible, terrible songs that were chart toppers. That would be depressing.
Ryuutakeshi 26th Feb 2013, 5:41 AM edit delete reply
I've had threats of strangling, but it hasn't happened yet. Mostly it's just me doing my character actions and using the wall as much as I can.
Raxon 27th Feb 2013, 11:56 AM edit delete reply
It's only a threat if they specifically say there won't be a happy ending.

Otherwise it's an offer! ^_-
InvisibleDale 26th Feb 2013, 6:18 AM edit delete reply
Way back in the olden days, I played with a group in a Top Secret/SSI game with a lady who would eventually be my wife. She was a role-player from even farther back, being in SCA.
The situation was there was a double spy in our midst taking us out of the picture one at a time, not killing, more kidnapping.
She had figured out who the mole was, but her character just had suspicions. When she was the next to last one to be kidnapped and the guy taking to the mole was about to walk off with her (yes mole was a woman, too), suddenly my wife jumps up, grabs the guy by his shirt front, slams him into the wall and shouts, "You ain't leaving me here with her alone!"
What make this hilarious is she was 5' 4" and he was 6' tall. She managed to "slip under his radar", catching him by surprise.
The next 10 minutes was spent rotfloao, almost literally.
LoganAura 26th Feb 2013, 6:45 AM edit delete reply
There's an issue with me for getting 'physical' in a live game, since I generally only do online. But I have gotten physical in a video gaming session when one of my friends (With an awesome fedora) made use of his position as player one to stall the game so I had to stay late.
It was Fedora or staying, and he chose fedora. Good thing we were on the 15th floor of the building with an open window :)
LoganAura 27th Feb 2013, 7:39 AM edit delete reply
Oh! there was a couple of 'physical-ish' things where I went "X drops a potted plant on your head. Not your character's, yours."
And any time I say 'Magic', my players want to kill me.
Cain 27th Feb 2013, 5:22 PM edit delete reply
yhea, not to mention when we used it you tried to give us about a d10 worth of damage.
Zuche 26th Feb 2013, 7:10 AM edit delete reply
Ah, this is embarrassing. A gaming acquaintance from way back once related the story of the Nazi Game to his table. It goes like this:

"Do you know how to play the Nazi Game?"
<slap> "You lie! ...Now do you know how to play the Nazi Game?"
<slap> "You lie!"

During a session we played later that week, he'd set up a damned-if-you-do, damned-if-you-don't interrogation for an NPC. Admiring his work, I said, "So you do know how to play the Nazi Game."

Basking in the praise, he said, "Yes."

"YOU LIE!" I shouted, and swung at the air in front of him.

Unfortunately, it seems I have lousy depth perception. Aiming to miss, I still wound up knocking his glasses off his face.
Raxon 26th Feb 2013, 8:56 AM edit delete reply
Does your hand have a +5 bth, by any chance? I think you should experiment to find out.
Digo 26th Feb 2013, 9:12 AM edit delete reply
Maybe it has a 10 foot reach?
Zuche 26th Feb 2013, 10:17 AM edit delete reply
Digo, there was that time I managed to claw the ceiling playing volleyball with the PS3 Move controller. My feet never left the floor, so I've no idea how I managed to dig my nails through the stucco. Try as I might, I can't even jump that high these days.

Raxon, before I try anything, what's a bth?
Raxon 26th Feb 2013, 10:31 AM edit delete reply
BTH: Bonus To Hit. It's your accuracy with a weapon. If you have a masterwork or a +1, assuming you're playing a d20, your bonus to hit is increased by 5%.

If you don't have a wizard in the party, you can determine the bth of a weapon by using it repeatedly on random wild animals or training dummies, and finding out if your accuracy has improved. That means finding the minimum roll you need to hit, then seeing what the minimum you need to hit with the new weapon is.
Zuche 26th Feb 2013, 11:09 AM edit delete reply
Since that only works if you've got a die roll with which to compare results, I'm not sure the test is reliable enough to be worth the effort, let alone the assault charges.
Digo 26th Feb 2013, 12:53 PM edit delete reply
Alright, then your hand is a ranged weapon. You should totally take the Multishot feat with it.
Raxon 27th Feb 2013, 3:52 AM edit delete reply
Multishot... hand...

Nope, too easy. It's not as much fun when you make the innuendo that easy.
Derpmind 27th Feb 2013, 5:11 AM edit delete reply
Wouldn't this be the point where one implies innuendo, rather than directly reference it?
Digo 27th Feb 2013, 5:47 AM edit delete reply
I think Raxon is nothing if not direct about anything. :D
Raxon 27th Feb 2013, 6:24 AM edit delete reply
I'm not gonna touch this subject with a ten inch pole.
Zuche 27th Feb 2013, 6:26 AM edit delete reply
...sigh. This reminds me of a story.

And I'm not going to share it.
Giggle Tail 26th Feb 2013, 7:24 AM edit delete reply
Giggle Tail
Well, we do have a running gag of acting out flipping the table over every time something goes wrong enough/someone gets mad for any reason. Does that count?

Oh yeah, there's also in our first campaign when the party sorcerer would often stroke his beard both in and out of character while thinking.
Mandolin 26th Feb 2013, 7:24 AM edit delete reply
Not strangling so much as live-action re-enactment. One of our players was playing a rather silly paladin named Jocasta ("Jo-jo for short") who was obsessed with horses.

One session, she rolled a critical miss and our DM dictated that her helmet spun around completely, blinding her. (Me: "For the record, I'm not standing anywhere near her.")

Half an hour later, one of our other players showed up later with his motorcycle helmet in tow. She immediately wanted to try it on.

I still have video of the antics when she put the helmet on, then actually spun it around completely backwards and insisted she was in character.

The DM joked that he'd give her extra experience for playing out the rest of the fight with the helmet on like that, but after we pointed out the abundance of soda and coffee and the potential for damage to character sheets and his books due to lack of elbow room, he took it back.

Aside from that, one session devolved into a tickling match between one of the married couples in my group. I don't exactly remember the circumstances, though.
alzayin 26th Feb 2013, 7:29 AM Oh scotty edit delete reply
One session of the Star Wars tabletop, we had a player who had missed the last two sessions so we got a new guy to fill in for him, who wanted to see what tabletop games were like. His name was Scotty and he just generally did not understand the game. We tried explaining how combat worked and we even had a nice gridded mat for later when we would have big fights.

Anyway, he makes the character he is controlling try to knock out my bartender NPC. In doing so, he picks up the mat which is still rolled up and kinda heavy and whacked me in the face with it. Almost knocked my glasses off. After I got my head back on straight, the entire party had to explain to Scotty that he can't just declare he knocked out the NPC, he has to roll to hit and roll for damage. >_< God that took way longer than it needed to.
Zuche 26th Feb 2013, 7:41 AM edit delete reply
Admittedly, my favourite tales of getting physical at the gaming table come from chess. Thankfully, I have never personally witnessed any of these.

Still, it's pretty cool to note that the first world champion was once thrown out a window by a player nicknamed "The Black Death".
Digo 26th Feb 2013, 9:16 AM edit delete reply
I never knew chess to be a contact sport. O_o`
Raxon 26th Feb 2013, 10:12 AM edit delete reply
It totally is. The national chess league is secretly a search for high level telepaths. One year, they found a really powerful one. He was so powerful, he distracted his opponent with cranial blasts, and won handily.

ACI and my own personal view of history. You know it's awesome.
CJT 26th Feb 2013, 10:22 AM edit delete reply
There was a throwaway "CMCs tried chess" line in one of the many fics floating around.

Exchange was along the lines of, "We tried chess. I fell down and broke my arm. And somehow got covered in tree sap." "THAT WASN'T TREE SAP, IT WAS MAPLE SYRUP!"

The CMCs would totally do that. And have that happen.
Zuche 26th Feb 2013, 11:05 AM edit delete reply
Sometimes, though it's a lot less comment in the last hundred years or so. Within the last 20 years, there was a "misunderstanding" between a tournament official and a former Canadian champion that the former described as a forceful shove. It never came to anything, possibly because the latter explained it as a man deliberately standing between him and a much needed bathroom break.

A former world champion resigned a few games by throwing his king at the opponent, but that was back between the World Wars. Within the last ten years, one of the competitor's in a U.S. women's championship spiked a piece in a blitz finish that cost her both a won game and the title. (No assault, but as a gesture of frustration it beat any profanity clocking in at under seven words per second.)

And then there's chess boxing. Look that one up.
Digo 26th Feb 2013, 12:54 PM edit delete reply
I miss the old days where helmets and elbow padding wasn't needed for this game.
Raxon 27th Feb 2013, 12:25 PM edit delete reply
Naked. Twister. Chess.

That is all.
masterofgames 27th Feb 2013, 5:32 PM edit delete reply
Straight from Doctor Who, it's Live Chess!

Sounds lame? How dare you!? "Live" means "Live Current!"

Each time you move a piece, the current running through it doubles! Not moving a piece for a turn results in a 10% decrease.

For a frame of reference, a player was once forced to move the queen twelve times in a row, resulting in fifty million volts! Such a pity the queen was his only legal move after that...
Cain 26th Feb 2013, 8:12 AM edit delete reply
My bit comes from the encounters games I ran. Ranubis wanted to DM the session, so I let him, I took over as his dwarven Paladin. We were chatting to what we called the Jolly Green Giant. The pixie started to mouth off to him. I turn to him and say, 'I gag the pixie.' we houseruled for an opposing check to mine and I won. The player proceeds to put his hand over his mouth and still mouths off, but muffled by his hand. We all had a chuckle about it.
Doomboy911 26th Feb 2013, 8:28 AM To the knee edit delete reply
I had this personally terrible moment where one of my players decided to be clever in his fighting by attacking a (what can be called a giant) in the back of the knee. I had this monster be like a pile of goo that walks like a man and thus had no critical points. I told him he didn't dish oout enough damage to bring it to his knees so he decided to demonstrate how painful this was by squeezing the crap out of my knee digging his fingers into the back of my knee.
Aegis Steadfast 26th Feb 2013, 8:31 AM edit delete reply
Aegis Steadfast
Sadly I have no stories of such to tell, all my 'tabletop's (all six of them) were done entirely online because I'm a sad and lonely british shut it with almost exclusively american friends.
Nezumi 26th Feb 2013, 8:56 AM edit delete reply
Is it a bad sign that I originally read that as "sad and lonely British slut?"
Philadelphus 26th Feb 2013, 9:08 AM edit delete reply
Hey! I can commiserate. There aren't many Pony Tales players in Hawaiʻi that I can tell, so my only role-playing experience so far has been on-line as well.
Cain 26th Feb 2013, 11:55 AM edit delete reply
yhea, most of us do seem to be continental US players. Let's see if we can get someone from Japan playing so we can say our game goes around the world
Ravenscroft RAVEN 26th Feb 2013, 8:35 AM edit delete reply
It's always fun to act it out, but actually physical? Well, once I had a group with two guys roleplaying twins that constantly bickered. They would slap each other upside the head, pull chairs out from under the other as they sat, steal each others drinks, all OOC, then insist post-hoc that it was done in-character.

They both thought it was hilarious. The DM had to curtail it because we were playing in the local game store and the owner was disappointed in their antics.
FanOfMostEverything 26th Feb 2013, 9:00 AM edit delete reply
Early in our current campaign, the party was sent out by a would-be adventurer's mother to get her to come back home so she wouldn't get killed. Naturally, they had her tag along when they explored the first dungeon, where she promptly got killed. Of course.

Fortunately, the group had started at level 6, so they had enough liquid cash to pay for a raise dead. At the temple of Pinkie Pie. Cue my standing at an imaginary pulpit, a recitation of a prayer to the Party Deity*, and a lip-synched rendition of the Ballad of Zillyhoo. Why? Because ponies plus Pathfinder plus Homestuck, for maximum ridiculosity.

*The pantheon of my campaign is ponies with the serial numbers filed off and a few genders swapped. The gender identity of Pinkie's analogue is beyond mortal comprehension.
JSchunx 26th Feb 2013, 12:50 PM edit delete reply
Heh, you really seem to do justice to your name.

As for physical occurences, the closest thing my group has is our Metagame Bear, a small, hard plastic bear that the DM throws at a player attempting to use knowledge that his character doesn't (nay, couldn't!) know. It's a rarely enforced measure, but the threat of it is usually enough.
Soletta 26th Feb 2013, 9:52 AM edit delete reply
A session of 'Mecha Victoriana', a homebrew military steampunk setting (with a bit of myth and magic thrwn in too) a couple of years back.
My spacey engineer is sent along on a mission in order to dismantle a key component on a doomsday device. Note that while on her mech Zabbi was badass, outside she was very soft and squishy.
We are wandering through an underground maze, mapping as we go, and the GM decides to up the creepiness factor. Cue erring dripping sounds music playing in the background, hushed whispers and descriptions about sudden creatures dropping onto us and pulling screaming souls from the NPCs.
I'm very creeped out. The GM then decides to move away from the table and start stalking round the room, crouching down and freezing until lunging at me when the monster does so to Zabbi. Yeah, I nearly wet myself.
I had trouble sleeping for a couple of days after. And yes, he is still VERY proud of this fact
Marrock 26th Feb 2013, 9:59 AM edit delete reply
We all had multiple sets of dice for playing, I myself had seven sets, one for actual play and six for flinging at the DM to help "motivate" him... that's about as physical as it got because if it escalated there was a very good likelihood of us all killing each other.
Soletta 26th Feb 2013, 9:59 AM edit delete reply
Feel the need to post this one too, although I only heard the stories of this one.

Same GM had the party captured and being tortured for information. To simulate this, he makes every player stick their arms up into the air and keep them there, no matter how much it starts to ache. He then tells them that when he pokes a person, they are being 'tortured' and have to scream.

One player is particularly convincing, and so he focuses on her, pulling scream after scream until one of the players snaps and yells 'I'll tell you anything, just stop!'

To take it that one step further? Before the game he had been to the butchers and got some pigs blood. This he stuck in a bowl behind a screen in the corner, so the whole room reeks of blood throughout the session.

Fun GM :)
Digo 26th Feb 2013, 12:55 PM edit delete reply
Who was your GM again, Gomez Adams? O_o`
Zuche 27th Feb 2013, 6:27 AM edit delete reply
The only way to test that is by speaking French to him.
CJT 26th Feb 2013, 10:35 AM edit delete reply
I don't have any directly matching anecdotes, but there are a couple in a similar vein.

In the Mekton Zeta campaign, I thought quite a lot like the DM, to the point where I guessed about half of the metaplot, and was accused of reading his mind at least once. The most memorable occasion of this was when my character was on deck for an arena battle (anime Japan's premier sporting event is mecha duels). I'd joked that my opponent would turn out to be "(NPC antagonist)'s tow-truck driver", whom we'd had a run-in with before.

Apparently I made that comment at exactly the right time, as the DM ended up spraying giner ale all over the table. Because that's exactly who I was fighting.

The other instance of this was from Warhammer 40k. The host for WH40k, who's also now hosting our Pathfinder campaign, owns parrots, and lets them fly freely around the house when he's home. Parrots are cute, poofy little engines of destruction (and pooping).

Naturally, one of the larger ones would frequently land on the 40k gaming table while play was occurring (because if we're paying attention to the tabletop, there must be something cool, edible, or breakable up there).

He very rapidly earned the nickname "The Greater Narloc".
Raxon 26th Feb 2013, 10:37 AM edit delete reply
Wait. Newbiespud, I thought you were gonna take a week or two off between the last session and this one.

I am not complaining, though. Or whining.
Zuche 26th Feb 2013, 11:12 AM edit delete reply
Ha. Raxon, I just read a Tartakowerism about Nimzovich you might find apt.

Does, "He pretends to be crazy in order to drive us all crazy," remind you of anyone?
JSchunx 26th Feb 2013, 12:53 PM edit delete reply
Wait, he's pretending!?
Raxon 27th Feb 2013, 3:55 AM edit delete reply
heh heh heh

I actually do think this way, so I guess you could say this is the real me.

Also, if you're reading this, Spud, get to work on allowing the background color code. I want my yellow text boxes!
Lyntermas 26th Feb 2013, 1:30 PM edit delete reply
Newbiespud said that he might consider another "guest comic" week after this session, but he's found that managing the guest comics can be as draining as making the comics himself. I admire his dedication, and I'm looking forward to seeing what he's got planned for this session.
Grrys 26th Feb 2013, 11:38 AM edit delete reply
There's this nice kid who comes to my Pathfinder sessions. Likable personality, really quiet voice. He can't make a character worth sh*t. And the characters that we make him make, he plays in the strangest way. After killing a fire lizard (think unintelligent, wingless red dragon), he wanted to make the skull his codpiece. The lizard was a huge creature that had eaten one of the rogues earlier. To demonstrate how his barbarian would be walking around with that skull as his codpiece, I had him sit with his knees to his chest and his arms wrapped around his legs. I then proceeded to pick him up from under his knees, and walk around a little bit with his head in the perfect position to throw it back to rack me. Needless to say, he didn't, and we got about a foot before he got the point.

Now Damage (the barbarian) is dead, and I didn't even get to kill him!
Kynrasian 26th Feb 2013, 12:07 PM edit delete reply
We were trying to solve puzzle involving mirrors, where there was a broken mirror on the other end from the door, and the two walls had mirrors on them. One mirror was being pointed at by a statue of a dwarf frowning and the other by a dwarf smiling. Somewhat predictably, the mirrors can be moved through and I found this out by sticking my hand in it, causing my hand to appear out of the opposite mirror and right in front of the dwarven fighter played by a friend of ours who doesn't usually have the opportunity to join us.

So I begin trying to figure out what it is I'm touching by feeling around it, leading to my patting his face a few times.
Hayatecooper 26th Feb 2013, 3:10 PM edit delete reply
When playing online games. I've, more then once, re-enacted my character head desking or in Pony Tales face flooring in real life.

*Note this is not suggested. Smacking head repeatedly against a computer desk to simulate the experience is neither safe for the desk nor painless.
Kayeka 26th Feb 2013, 3:59 PM edit delete reply
In our 4e game, all the players are given a house-ruled encounter power.

Dope Slap
Immediate Reaction
Instant Success
Trigger: Adjacent player declares an action that, whether successful or not, will result in unnecessary derailment, total party kill, or other unpleasantness.
Effect: lightly slap the triggering player to the back of his or her head. The triggering action is negated, and can never be performed again without the permission of the player using Dope Slap.

Note the use of the word "player" as opposed to "character" in that description. We don't need to use this power often, since we all have a pretty well-developed sense of humour. But sometimes, whenever a player thinks himself the new mr. Welch, we are generally happy that we can put a stop to them before any lasting damage.
Raxon 27th Feb 2013, 12:02 PM edit delete reply
Does this mean I wouldn't be allowed to make a masked barbarian shapeshifter who prefers to fight unarmed, has his own specialized moveset, and calls all his attacks?
Kayeka 28th Feb 2013, 3:20 PM edit delete reply
Dope Slap applies to the declaration of actions, not character creation. You can make whatever character you want.

The only thing this houserule would prevent you from doing are obviously self-destructive actions, like "I pull down my pants and wizz on the king".
Wynni 26th Feb 2013, 4:47 PM I have one? edit delete reply
We have 'The Gooner"... an empty soda bottle used to correct interferring players....or really aweful puns.

Also, we have, on multiple occasions, acted out really funny or really awesome game bits. One player is infamous for her 'ready to rumble' move of drawing her air sword.
Akouma 26th Feb 2013, 9:44 PM edit delete reply
The game I just got back from tonight is in a future world where wrist-mounted computers are the primary type used. (Think omnitools, from Mass Effect if you've played any of them.) My character, who I've mentioned here before, is a deity from another, more medieval plane of existence. In one of the first sessions, he asked the character teaching computer science how the hell to use them. Ever since, whenever he encounters something culture-related he doesn't understand, I pantomime using an omnitool, then after a few seconds make a comment about the results of his Google/Wikipedia search. My personal favorite one was when they were discussing DNA, so he reads the Wikipedia article and then a few seconds later laughs and yells "This is bunk!" When the party tells him it's hard science, he took out his sword, cut off a small piece of his arm (since his entire body is made of pure energy, which as far as the denizens of his plane know is aether), handed it to the sciencey party members screaming "TELL ME WHAT I'M MADE OF THEN!" This is his entire counter-argument to the concept of DNA.

Aaaaanyway, if you see me during that game holding up my right arm while tapping it like it's a keyboard with my left hand, it means I'm about to say something funny. I can honestly say I can't recall ever failing to get a laugh with the stupid things Al'Deck says.
Guest 26th Feb 2013, 10:18 PM edit delete reply
How much exp from the last session?
Raxon 27th Feb 2013, 3:57 AM edit delete reply
Oh my badness! The DM forgot to hand out xp! Rainbow Dash is gonna start a riot!
Zuche 27th Feb 2013, 6:33 AM edit delete reply
As a 4E barbarian, I'm sure she's been looking forward to the opportunity to use her rampage feature.

May she pardon me for commenting on her features. It just seemed appropriate in this context.
DracoS 27th Feb 2013, 10:33 AM edit delete reply
One of Zecora's traps was "Lose all your campaign exp" and Rainbow Dash didn't make her saving roll.
Demonu 27th Feb 2013, 3:38 PM edit delete reply
I collect weapons (of all kinds) as a hobby. I also use weapons in my martial arts training (Aikibudo and Tenshin Shoden Katori Shinto Ryu for those interested)

So when I argued with my DM that me stabbing a guard with a dagger should result in instant death rather than 1d4 damage, I brought a dagger and a set of armour to our next session to show him just where I would have stabbed the guard.

There are also the times with Halloween that we (usually) dress up as out characters (as best as we can) and combined with the amount of liquor at hand, we would often end up acting out what we would do instead of merely narrating it.
One of the most fun ones being a fight with a rival/nemesis NPC and completely Flynning it out. Because as we all know, if you see "The Princess Bride" enough times, you know Flynning (or just about any other movie with Errol Flynn. I recommend The Adventures of Robin Hood, Captain Blood and The Sea Hawk)
CJT 27th Feb 2013, 9:44 PM edit delete reply
All that means is that you either have the Sneak Attack feat or the Improved Critical feat IRL. It happens! :)

This is also why forbidding nail clippers but allowing pencils and ballpoint pens on airplanes is silly.
Isher 27th Feb 2013, 3:45 PM Creepy DM edit delete reply
Well. One time, they were getting close to Dagon, Prince of the Depths. So naturally, while they were having an in-game conversation, I was up, walking around the room, leaning in close to their ears and whispering disturbing things in their ears the entire time. They worked it in pretty well. "Did you hear that?" "No, what?" "Like a creepy voice telling you horrible things?" "No, I-" *I get to that player* "...Oh. Oh gods."
Shchenya 28th Feb 2013, 12:15 AM edit delete reply
Because most of my gaming group is part of a bizarrely complex BDSM polyamourous relationship,you can probably guess some of the things that are "roleplayed live" occassionally.

But the absolute best bit of game/realworld crossover was a total shock. I gave my players extra XP for dressing in character (not a great deal, just enough to reward them for helping immersion). For an Etherscope game this resulted in a male player dressing as a female soldier... which was fine until he turned up in the kneehigh boots and wig and made the girls in the group jealous.. not so much actually physical but definately in character!
GeekKnowledgeFailure 1st Mar 2013, 10:14 PM edit delete reply
Well... I used to have this nice plastic clipboard I used for gaming. It was simple, just the right side, and a nice shiny black.
One night, I grew tired of constant (loud) interuptions when I was trying to speak, and thumped my friend on the head with it.
Broke it right in two.

...The clipboard.
LifeShouldBeAMusical 5th Mar 2013, 11:34 PM edit delete reply
Once, my group and I were running a Serenity campaign. We had most of the party together, when suddenly we were ambushed by another group - that seemed to include our last player's character, whom I happened to be dating out of game.
When it came to my turn, I asked to shoot the nearest member of the group attacking us. The GM stammered out that the nearest was, in point of fact, my girlfriend's character. Several death glares and at least one sourcebook to the head later, my character shot the second-closest member of the attacking party.