Page 285 - Sweet Thing

16th May 2013, 6:00 AM in Swarm of the Century
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Sweet Thing
Average Rating: 5 (2 votes)
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Author Notes:

Newbiespud 16th May 2013, 6:00 AM edit delete
So, uh, I made an MST3k-style commentary on a 50s educational short over the course of this week, and I'd appreciate it if you took a look-see.

Notice: Guest comic submissions are open! Guidelines here. Deadline: January 27th, 2023.



Digo 16th May 2013, 6:02 AM edit delete reply
I will take the look-see tonight! :)

Last two panels were totally worth the two day wait. I love those combats were a vastly inferior combatant starts off with a few good rolls, makes some headway with damage, and then gets *OWNED* in one strike. XD
_R_ 16th May 2013, 6:07 AM edit delete reply
Ironically, a Rouge is supposed to be well-versed in Speed, and seeing that this is her fifth session(if you count the ten-minute break to be a full break, if you know what I mean) she would have had the instinct to RUN.
..well, she could have been afraid of the dice.
Oh, yeah, I'm an 11-year old Asian girl with few knowledge of tabletop RPG's, an I'm one of the first to comment. Huzzah.
Zuche 16th May 2013, 6:23 AM edit delete reply
I am told that running is the best form of self-defense, but rogues tend to consider Stealth more useful most of the time.

...You know, until this moment, it didn't occur to me that no creature relies on sense of smell to locate an enemy in 4E?

Oh, and welcome to the comments section, _R_.
Raxon 16th May 2013, 7:05 AM edit delete reply
The best form of self defense is nuking everything from orbit before landing. And even then, that still guarantees that some teenage girl with an experimental magic gun is going to to kick your collective plots.
AttentionDeficitGuy 16th May 2013, 7:14 AM edit delete reply
... Dang that was a bada** link. Thanks, now I'm gonna waste so much time hunting down that thing and playing it.
Raxon 16th May 2013, 7:30 AM edit delete reply
The game is called Iji. It is an awesome game. You can find it here.

There are several endings, and moral choices actually have consequences. In fact, you can even do pacifist runs if you're good enough. It offers loads of replay value.
DanielLC 16th May 2013, 12:57 PM edit delete reply
Pacifist runs aren't difficult for the most part. The problem is figuring out how to get past some of the bosses without killing them. One of them involves getting one of your weapon stats to the highest level. Not something you'd think to do if you don't use weapons.
AttentionDeficitGuy 17th May 2013, 11:16 PM edit delete reply
And in less than 48 hours, I am addicted. Thanks, Raxon. Truly you are an agent of chaos.
Malroth 16th May 2013, 1:21 PM edit delete reply
And Here I thought it was going to link to something Nanoha related.
Anvildude 18th May 2013, 1:08 PM edit delete reply
I was thinking that magical girl 'Scientific Railgun' anime.
_R_ 16th May 2013, 7:18 AM edit delete reply
Ah, than you for informing me. I only play online RPG's. Well, I guess this could be considered Stealth:online role-players who are Rouges tend to strike a few hits swiftly, throw a random object, hide and quickly heal or equip something, and repeat.
It's harder than it sounds like.
aylatrigger 16th May 2013, 9:38 AM edit delete reply
Well, _R_, if you ever want to come to the dark side of rpgs, there are numerous play by posts online or you could join a skype game with oje of us. Although, I suggest as the best option you find people willing near you. I myself attribute most of my friends gained to D&D and God, and I have now almost Pinkie Pie level of friends. Just find others willing or convince them to be so. If none of you know the rules, you could start with a simpler, more freeform game. They work as lovely icebreakers, too.
_R_ 16th May 2013, 4:50 PM edit delete reply
But I can't be seduced by the dark side! I don't even have wrinkles!
Just kidding. I'll try that when I'm older.
Also, it occurred to me that this is the DM's fault. If he hadn't made Spike fight the dogs solo, Rarity could have used long-distance combat. If the dogs didn't die by the time they reached Ponyville, Twilight and Rainbow Dash could have rushed to the scene quickly enough so that they wouldn't go to the town's public spots. Then, they would have been killed in, let's say, five to ten minutes.
Digo 16th May 2013, 8:04 AM edit delete reply
She could run, but that would be losing Spike and the gems. It certainly would hurt the reputation of a social rogue such as Rarity.
Grey Pen 17th May 2013, 9:18 AM edit delete reply
Since when is make-up supposed to be speedy?

R-O-G-U-E = Sneaky stab by theify guy.

R-O-U-G-E = Make-Up/French Word for "red".
Raxon 17th May 2013, 10:11 AM edit delete reply
I call bull, _R_. You're a 34 year old FBI agent. Unless you're secretly _/B_ in disguise.

Oh man, the conspiracy goes all the way to the bottom! You're actually 9gag, aren't you!?
_R_ 19th May 2013, 2:39 AM edit delete reply
I'm an eleven year old brony Trekkie who knows of DoD because of this comics.
Raxon 16th May 2013, 6:06 AM edit delete reply
And so it begins, a dog and pony battle royale deathmatch!

Now all it needs is a steel cage and a kiddie pool filled with jello. Spike, your job is to go back to town as fast as you can and return triumphantly to save rarity like a dragoon in shining armor...

While we watch Rarity wresting with the diamond dogs in a pool filled with jello.
Mordenheim 16th May 2013, 6:46 AM edit delete reply
You know... I don't have any Diamond Dogs made, but I have LOTS of videos up on YouTube with the ponies as wrestlers. XD

I can link if you're interested and it is allowed.
Zaranthan 16th May 2013, 11:32 AM edit delete reply
Shameless self-promotion is okay, just not deceitful self-promotion. Link away!
Mordenheim 18th May 2013, 6:41 AM edit delete reply
Little late, but....
Erin Palette 16th May 2013, 9:06 AM edit delete reply
Erin Palette
I prefer the term "Canine-Equine Extravaganza." ;)
JSchunx 16th May 2013, 11:49 AM edit delete reply
A Horse 'n Hound Showdown?
emmerlaus 16th May 2013, 6:06 AM edit delete reply
Cute chapter!
Zuche 16th May 2013, 6:24 AM edit delete reply
I will have to check the video tonight as well. Can't access it here.
Zuche 16th May 2013, 4:27 PM edit delete reply
Hmm. Did you have a particular goal in mind here, or was it just general riffing? If the latter, then the light touch was less disruptive, never wearing out its welcome. If you had a more specific goal, whether to take shots at the United Fruit Company or educational films from the 50's, for example, it could have done with a bit of tightening up here and there, directing more humour toward those subjects.

Bonus points for exploiting a glitch in the narration. You do suspicious denial very well.

...And I see Double Cross has much more insight to offer, but seems heistant to make it public. That's fine, but I hope she'll send you the file anyway. Top Secret, yes?
Newbiespud 16th May 2013, 4:39 PM edit delete reply
Yeah, it was just general riffing. This was something I did purely on a whim, for fun. I'm kinda sad it didn't turn out as well as I'd hoped, but oh well. Them's the breaks.
Zuche 16th May 2013, 6:25 PM edit delete reply
Newbiespud? I have two selfish requests. Keep practicing. Keep posting the results.
Indalecio 16th May 2013, 9:50 PM edit delete reply
Should have mentioned that each bunch of bananas is dunked into water to make sure its not a witch.
Raxon 17th May 2013, 9:43 AM edit delete reply
Since they don't have to pay kids for labor, children are often used nowadays.

But that's how they make chocolate, and who here can argue that chocolate actually tastes better without the tears of children added? It's like adding lead to gasoline. Makes it go down smooth.
Curb 16th May 2013, 6:40 AM edit delete reply
I checked out the video, it was pretty good, could have used a few more jokes. Have you thought of doing one of these with someone else?? I've been trying to get some friends together to try riffing on some bad movies myself.
Raxon 16th May 2013, 7:53 AM edit delete reply
I agree. Good video, but the product placement was a bit on the subtle side.

Could've at least gone halfsies with Folgers on it.
Belze 16th May 2013, 7:41 AM edit delete reply
No story time yet?
How about heroic familiars saving the day.
Then again there can't be many of those out there.

The closest story i have to that is a wizard that used Shocking Grasp on his frog so it could cast it and sent it off to attack, but the frog was so slow that after a few rounds we forgot it was there, until we had almost died and the last opponent was about to finish us off when he suddenly gets electrocuted and falls over with a derpy frog sitting on his back.
Digo 16th May 2013, 8:10 AM edit delete reply
My group has only One heroic familair story.

The party was getting their collective flanks kicked by a treant. The sorcerer gave his cat familiar a shocking grasp spell to deliverbecause he was down to his last 2 hit points.

The cat delivered a critical hit.

It didn't kill the treant, but it did cause the creature to swat the cat on its next turn, thus giving the party fighter a change for one more attack before getting pummeled into negative hit points.
The fighter managed to nearly max out her damage.

The cat survived too with a single hit point left.

It's our only heroic story. Everything else has always ended with a splattered familair that was taken home in a small plastic bag. :o
KittyGirlHazel 16th May 2013, 9:02 AM edit delete reply
Ahahaha, heroic familiars? Kind of! In the one game I've player, my ranger ended up with a bear companion through shenanigans involving a wood spirit. When I get out of the wood with my ursine buddy in tow, I run into a bunch of goblins. They took one look at the bear and ran.
aylatrigger 16th May 2013, 9:48 AM edit delete reply
My brother when he took over my pirate campaign decided to send against us reapers and immortL things beyond our CR due to multiplying whenever they were hit by someone other than their target and infesting an entire town. They had fear spells, which took out my stealthbard/shadow dancer (I was a dervish dancer and had switched it so I needed somatic components for all spells). Fortunately my shadow companion, Sunshine, was immune to fear. He could not take on one of the reapers, but was able to take my ghost touch weapon that I had dropped as well as scout out the enemy so we did not go to infested areas.
Tatsurou 16th May 2013, 12:36 PM edit delete reply
I don't remember the exact campaign scenario, but the DM allowed each of us to design our own familiar within a certain number of stat points. I was able to successfully create a Pernese fire lizard, complete with the full 'going between' ability set and empathic link. I went with a golden queen, and named her Shimmerwing.

Now, Shimmerwing was a very useful familiar throughout the game, whether it was delivering messages over miles nearly instantaneously, scouting, or retrieving the guards key ring without him noticing so we could break out of jail.

However, her real moment - or moments - of glory was when she'd leveled up enough that she mastered the skill of telekinesis as demonstrated in the book "The Skies of Pern" - moving objects through between without touching them. See, while Shimmerwing couldn't deal too much damage in combat, she was still quite vicious when battle started, and jumping between gave her insane evasion. In the middle of a major bad guy's monologue, I rolled for her action and she telekinetically extracted the bad guy's spinal cord. The DM just sort of stared at me for a while when the rolls showed it was successful.

From then on, Shimmerwing was the MVC against any single opponent, and all major bad guys in the future were ethereal or undead. Although when she stole the lich's tongue mid-monologue was hilarious.
Digo 16th May 2013, 1:19 PM edit delete reply
When your familiar can remove body parts from still animate beings... you know you have a winning combo. O_o
Tatsurou 16th May 2013, 5:46 PM edit delete reply
Funny thing was, the DM was a big fan of the villain monologue, generally setting up situations so we had to sit and listen whether we wanted to or not. Shimmerwing, on the other hand, really disliked monologing. Any time a character - villain or otherwise - had a speech that lasted more than a minute and a half, she'd remove a piece of their anatomy. Since the rest of the party found this hilarious and - eventually - so did the DM, the DM got very good at talking very fast.

I think one time he carried it a bit too far and the entire villainous group wound up breaking into a high-speed chorus singing "I am the very model of a modern major general".
Darkside 16th May 2013, 1:41 PM edit delete reply
There's an apocryphal story my brother-in-law told me of this second-edition wizard who enchanted his kitten familiar to never grow beyond a puff of fur and to have +4 Vorpal Claws.

Since the kitten would spaz whenever it wasn't on the wizard's shoulder, he would toss it at enemies in lieu of normal weaponry.
The Captain 16th May 2013, 8:34 PM edit delete reply
The Captain
Our group's Druid has a timber wolf companion. The Druid once used it to track down a criminal who had stolen a fragment of a map.

The criminal was quite exploded because of his own stupidity and my tiredness(I'm the DM). But the Druid wouldn't have found the criminal scum without the Scooby Doo-esque talents of the timber wolf!
Mink of Snow 16th May 2013, 11:03 AM edit delete reply
he's fighting for his love
Walabio 16th May 2013, 11:27 AM ¡That is a nice fandub! edit delete reply
¡That is a nice fandub!

That film brings up 2 important political points:

0. Libertarians would have us believe that government is bad. The United Fruit-Company took advantage the weak governments for taking over the countries.

1. When the people of Guatemala got tired of the United Fruit Company running their country and rebelled against it and their corrupt weak government and set up a government accountable to the people, the United Fruit Company called in favors from less than 1 million dollars in campaign-Contributions in the United States of America, which lead to a billion dollar intervention in Guatemala, killing thousands of Guatemalans and installing a Fascistic government in Guatemala, cowtowing to the United Fruit-Company, responsible for the deaths of hundreds of thousands of Guatemalans over the decades. We could have avoided this with publicly financed electoral campaigns.
J 16th May 2013, 9:56 PM edit delete reply
Yes, that is highly relevant to this comic about ponies.
aerion111 17th May 2013, 12:23 AM edit delete reply
Don't you see? The dogs represent capitalism and spike represents the socio-democratic party.
It makes perfect sense.
Walabio 17th May 2013, 11:24 AM ⸘Do not you know‽ edit delete reply
J 16th May 2013, 9:56 PM:

> “Yes, that is highly relevant to this comic about ponies.”

⸘Do not you know‽ ¡This is totally relevant to the comic!:

Equestria was a loose confederacy run under the principle of AnarchoCapitalism (libertarianism on steroids). Luna and Celestia ran a HorseShoeCompany. They took advantage of the weak almost nonexistent government for taking over Equestria. At first, they ran Equestria as a Fascistic State (businesses control the government in Fascism), but reorganized Equestria into a Princessipality under the Diarchy of the 2 Princesses. ¡This is how Equestria was made!
Raxon 17th May 2013, 8:28 AM edit delete reply
You know, they made a video game about that. You may well have played it. Donkey Kong Country.
NR 16th May 2013, 11:43 AM edit delete reply
You tried, Spike. You tried.
The Captain 16th May 2013, 8:32 PM edit delete reply
The Captain
He gets a gold star, an A for effort. Let's all give him a hand ladies and gentlemen!
Digo 17th May 2013, 3:53 AM edit delete reply
And a bandaid.
TheStratovarian 17th May 2013, 6:47 AM edit delete reply
I think he may be pining for that cure critical wounds potions right about now, but it was truly a brave act spike. Even if you ended up playing diamond dog hockey as the puck..
Sora-kun 17th May 2013, 3:52 AM Amazing edit delete reply
Hey long time reader first time commenting. Love the comic and it's fan base. I've been looking to play more 4th edition. and you may get a kick out of knowing my group *Who none had seen MLP* did the same thing almost exact same thing as your first plot
TheStratovarian 17th May 2013, 6:45 AM edit delete reply
Welcome then, and please enjoy the many faces and folks here.

But did you start with 4th, or an earlier edition for your players if you don't mind to say?
Sorakun 17th May 2013, 2:36 PM 4th ed. edit delete reply
I started on fourth edition when it came out. It was my first system and i've been messing with it since. By adding things like sanity, limit breaks and summoning skills
Raxon 17th May 2013, 9:23 AM edit delete reply
Welcome! Here, have a cookie. image
Seanpony Renaud 17th May 2013, 10:11 AM Winner! edit delete reply
And you sir win for the day.
Story Time 17th May 2013, 11:33 AM edit delete reply
I would love to either burn or eat that cookie. Or burn it and then eat it. Or crush it with such force that it condenses into diamonds. AND THEN EAT IT.
Lyntermas 17th May 2013, 8:54 AM edit delete reply
No alt-scripts today, but I did do a guest comic for One Piece Grand Line 3.5. Let me know what you think.
Digo 19th May 2013, 7:17 PM edit delete reply
I LOL'd.