Page 292 - Just As Planned

1st Jun 2013, 6:00 AM in Swarm of the Century
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Just As Planned
Average Rating: 5 (3 votes)
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Author Notes:

Newbiespud 1st Jun 2013, 6:00 AM edit delete
Story time! For today's comments, tell a story about a player being prideful, uppity, and/or self-important - whether in-character or out-of-character.
Newbiespud 3rd Jun 2013, 8:45 AM edit delete
Remember when DragonTrainer, author of the One Piece campaign comic, made a series of guest comics? Twice? Well, I'm finally returning the favor!

This week, on One Piece Grand Line 3.5, I have three guest comics appearing. The first one just went up today, and the other two will be appearing Wednesday and Friday. You can read the first installment here!

Notice: Guest comic submissions are open! Guidelines here. Deadline: January 27th, 2023.



Ace the Eagle 1st Jun 2013, 6:03 AM edit delete reply
I once had a really arrogant ranger ... so I applied a dire wolf pack to his "Beautiful face"

first as of time posting
Guest 1st Jun 2013, 6:05 AM edit delete reply
Ok we're done with the bird now to the rogue

DoubleCross 1st Jun 2013, 6:11 AM edit delete reply
DoubleCross 3rd Jun 2013, 5:36 AM edit delete reply
Okay, to be more serious, you remember that incident with [name redacted] where he killed my character while declaring yours to have murdered his and then I ended up bullshitting what ended up being one of my character's defining aspects and powers?

That was kinda self-important, I guess.
Stygius 1st Jun 2013, 6:13 AM edit delete reply
Not mine, but we were trading RPing stories once, and someone just said: "Never be so arrogant as to pick your teeth with a poisoned dagger."
Kirby 1st Jun 2013, 8:13 PM edit delete reply
I have a Nagaji that picks her teeth with poison Senbon, does that count?
Giggle Tail 1st Jun 2013, 6:22 AM edit delete reply
Giggle Tail
I actually have a pretty good one for today's story time. It doubles as a rare case where I got a joke on one of my fellow party members >:)

Some time our last campaign, we had come across some church that needed our help. I forget the details, but it was some sort of religion-related problem. Anyway, after hearing about said problem, our cleric strutted up to them and said (in the most arrogant tone possible), "sounds like you guys need a real cleric!"

I immediately added "Yeah, so let's go find one!"

Everyone at the table other than him laughed. He just glared at me and said "I hate you." I took it as a compliment :)
pony of change 1st Jun 2013, 6:34 AM edit delete reply
we have a gamer in the group who loves to one-up everyone else. real annoying. well we were playing a elder scrolls rpg and he failed to cast a simple spell, light the most basic illusion spell. mister almighty mage. then i cast the spell with minimum magic and succeed as a fighter then the rogue like character also cast just out of spite and succeeds. the look on the mage's face was priceless every time we play the campaign we still get a laugh out of that moment.
Onyxjew 1st Jun 2013, 6:44 AM edit delete reply
I played one. I was uppity both in-character and out-. It was one of the more fun encounters. I min-maxed on a free-roam game, I dropped every combat skill and useful item I had to become a noble. Duke, in fact. I owned about three-thousand acres, complete with five villages, an ancestral stone fortress, and a dragon-infested mountain. First. Level. Aristocrat.

I ended up with a clone of Joffrey from Game of Thrones with less power and more creativity but all the same self-indignant, pompous entitlement. Think Snidely Whiplash with anger issues.

I ended up as the antagonist and quest-giver for the session. I loved that session.
The Captain 1st Jun 2013, 6:24 PM edit delete reply
The Captain
By the gods, your character must have been the worst person alive to have been a clone of Joffrey. I hate that guy. Everyone hates that guy. Agh.
Onyxjew 2nd Jun 2013, 11:26 AM edit delete reply
Joffrey, the Hitler of the fantasy world, I honestly could only hope to be as annoying and hated as he was. He's an inspiration to us all on the Evil League of Evil.

Funny thing about that, I wasn't even the worst person in the campaign. At least in terms of crimes, I was probably the most Wanted. I think the players put a bounty on me by the third time I broke their legs and threw them out of a tower. Apparently it's not a very nice thing to do even if they have more than enough castings of Feather Fall.

The worst person was the NPC antagonist that I was working under, some God Emprah deity beast. It was a space slug if I remember. Still love that game.
Raxon 3rd Jun 2013, 3:59 PM edit delete reply
... Elves are an entire race of Hitlers in my headcanon !!CITATION GRANTED!!
Destrustor 1st Jun 2013, 6:44 AM edit delete reply
A friend played a character who was so arrogant and confident, it killed him.

The party came across some sort of riddle challenge: to be able to pass safely, we each had to answer a question truthfully. Everyone got through safely except him.
His question was "What is your biggest weakness?"
Every player practically shouted "Pride! Your arrogance!" and other stuff like that. Most characters did the same, in-game.
His answer: "I have no weakness."
Boom. Killed on the spot. Everyone pretty much agreed that the character would never have said anything else.

To add comedy value, the character was actually full of flaws and weaknesses, most of whom were brought about by bad dice rolls and stubbornness. This was the character who had the reputation(among the group) of being the most easily-drownable guy in existence; we joked that stepping in a puddle or having some light rain could instantly fill his lungs with water on contact.
Also he wasted years of his life pursuing the girl of his dreams, and failing to get her in bed for the simple stupid reason that he refused to consider marriage(which was her only condition for allowing the sexytimes).
He was an insanely strong and resilient werewolf, easily capable of killing the whole party by himself, but his fear of commitment made the other characters tease him about not being a true alpha male for in-game years.

But no, he was the perfect manly man, he insisted.
Except when he wasn't. Which was always.

Did I mention he was literally named "Virile"?
Digo 1st Jun 2013, 7:17 AM edit delete reply
Did I tell the story of when The Great and Powerful Trixie joined the Justice League? Because I think that totally counts for a "prideful, uppity, and/or self-important" character.

The plus side is that if you told her to put her mouth where her money was, she would succeed. ...usually. ;)
DracoS 1st Jun 2013, 7:29 AM edit delete reply
I wish to hear this story! Please tell it! 83
Derpmind 1st Jun 2013, 7:46 AM edit delete reply
You realize that you have to post the story now.
Siosilvar 1st Jun 2013, 8:37 AM edit delete reply
I don't think I've ever heard this in its entirety, only snippets.
Digo 1st Jun 2013, 3:29 PM edit delete reply
The Great and Powerful Trixie joins the Justice League~

It started when Trixie tried to perfect her own teleport spell. Twilight could move from point A to B. Trixie wanted to do better. She didn't want to just move from A to B, Trixie wanted point B to move to A for her.
The spell failure was the least of her concerns.

This version of Trixie was built in GURPS and she had one advantage that proved to be the cornerstone of her power:
"Dare Devil": The more risk and boasting she does, the more bonuses she gets to her attacks.

Now, the GM gets to choose the bonuses given and he was pretty miserly with bonuses in general, but for some reason my dice picked up the slack.

On Earth, Trixie was picked up by S.H.I.E.L.D. agents and interviewed because... well magical talking unicorn! Trixie sees that magic is rare for the average human so she agrees to work with the supers team here for a while.

First battle was against criminal agents with military weapons inside a 30-story office tower. The other PCs take cover, put up defenses, etc. Trixie?

Charges into the stairwell at several agents who had MP5s. Trixie's spell arsenal was fireworks, airjets, her telekinesis. Nothing much for damage potential.
She crits a few times, got one agent to shoot his partner, threw another agent down the stairs, pulled the grenade pins off one guy a few floors up... :D

Trixie's boasts were so darn annoying to the other players because she just kept succeeding.
Her first failure was against a pack of aliens from the future. The team got locked in a room with the aliens so Trixie filled the room with poisonous gas. Everyone passed out except for one alien that didn't breathe. If it weren't for that... Trixie might have ended the gas spell and escaped.

The game ended too early though.
Curb 2nd Jun 2013, 10:29 AM edit delete reply
Interesting, I like that. I'm still hammering out details on my Gathering of Harmony RPG. As of now, Trixie is a still a traveling showmare, but it's a cover as she is actually traveling around, hunting for trouble.
Digo 3rd Jun 2013, 3:50 AM edit delete reply
I started up a fanfic series called "Outlaw Mares" where Trixie hunts down dangerous artifacts (like what the Alicorn Amulet was) to destroy them.

Trixie is of course still quite the prideful boaster and she causes a lot of trouble wherever she goes. Quite a fun adventure.
Rokas 1st Jun 2013, 7:35 AM edit delete reply
You know, I almost like this version of events better; at least here we might not be forced to see Fluttershy cry.

Warhawk 1st Jun 2013, 9:01 AM edit delete reply
Wait, is that a reference to the amazing MLP/Mechwarrior crossover Falling Stars?

Because if it is, I am equally stunned that someone referenced it and happy that I picked up on it.
Rokas 1st Jun 2013, 5:33 PM edit delete reply
Considering I'm the one who wrote it (still writing it), then I'm glad someone else recognized it. Glad you enjoyed it, hope to have more sometime soon (dunno when, don't quote me).

But seriously, Ivan is just saying what we all are thinking.
Warhawk 1st Jun 2013, 8:41 PM edit delete reply
My writer name used to be Dygen Entreri, and I've left reviews for your story before. Still one of the best MLP stories I've ever read, and believe me when I say I check out a LOT of MLP crossovers.

Looking forward to seeing your next
GothPet 1st Jun 2013, 10:01 AM edit delete reply
I have a serpentfolk wizard in a 3.5 D&D game running through the Way of the Wicked AP. Her 21 intelligence leads her to treat everyone as though they're a moron.

Seeing as how she takes the form of a 14 year old human girl, no-one has found it at all strange. :P
*Sigh* 1st Jun 2013, 10:08 AM edit delete reply
I'm not sure if this counts, but in an MLP game that essentially guided us all through the rebirth of the Aspects of Reality, including the Sun (Celestia).

Everyone died but me. I immediately declared as the game ended that my character would, as his reward for not dying, be the ancestor of Rainbow Dash. Literally everyone immediately started NOPE-ing at me, but it was already done.
Walabio 1st Jun 2013, 1:40 PM ¿Were you an ancestor of the magenta-eyed mare or the rainbow-maned stallion in the flashback of RainBow Dash for S03E12 “The Games Ponies Play”? edit delete reply
¿Were you an ancestor of the magenta-eyed mare or the rainbow-maned stallion in the flashback of RainBow Dash for S03E12 “The Games Ponies Play”?:
DanielLC 1st Jun 2013, 11:46 PM edit delete reply
How far back was that exactly? In real life, the identical ancestors point is believed to be 5,000 to 15,000 years ago. Anyone alive before that either has no living descendants, or has everyone as their descendant.
Akouma 1st Jun 2013, 10:11 AM edit delete reply
Hooo boy. I've seen a lot of that. We probably all have. Rather than go with stories of other people's, I'll go with one of mine.

Al'Deck is a character who I've talked about here before. He's a god from another dimension currently moonlighting as a college professor/superhero instructor. For a while, the other characters didn't know that he was a deity, only that he was very much not normal. So one day he gather up everyone involved in their superhero team (fellow instructors and heroes in training both) and tells them "I am a god."

To which he got a resounding chorus of "So?"
CommandoDude 1st Jun 2013, 11:16 AM edit delete reply
I have a little bit of a story where I WAS that character.

In DnD 4th edition our party was level 16 or something other, and we had to deal with some kind of harbinger of doom coming to attack the kingdom. Standard fare, but we had a bunch of mini encounters to get powerups to help us beat it.

One such mini encounter was going deep underground to retrieve some kind of scroll. It seemed like a pretty obvious combat encounter, but being the group's striker, a Slayer type character, I was so confident in my combat ability that I declared that I would do it alone (since all the other characters were busy with other stuff).

Upon reaching the combat area, I was engaged by a Solo monster. Which is basically a 'boss class' meant to take on an entire party. Of course, as it just so happened, a shapeshifter happened to also show up in the middle of our fight, so it ended up in a melee a trios.

I STILL ended up winning, because of my insanely high attack power and cheesy item loadout, but only just by the skin of my teeth. One extra bad attack die roll could have been the difference between success and failure.

To this day, I'll still gloat about it.
XScarredHeart 1st Jun 2013, 11:25 AM edit delete reply
Score one for Applejack. XD
Demonu 1st Jun 2013, 11:40 AM edit delete reply
Just about any party(member) when they hit a specific level and realise they pretty much outclass everyone else.
XanatosDrake 1st Jun 2013, 12:17 PM edit delete reply
I once created a fallen angel race in 4.0. While playing as said angel we entered a tower of pure evil. I was arrogant enough to think that because I was evil i could bluff a black dragon into joining me not once but twice. I failed both times. Still don't know how that character didn't get eaten.
TheStratovarian 1st Jun 2013, 12:22 PM edit delete reply
There's one player, that has a history of this in the times spent on 3.5. At least in my old games. He always seemed to suffer something either humiliating, or a character death as a proxy to being really prideful. And the nature of the modules, it was the dice that did it each time.

The first, was his cleric, a min/max option, and trying to boss the party about because she had the healing. The moment of come-uppance was when she without thinking put on armor without thinking about it. The dm, in a moment, of proper evil cackling, proceeded to say it was cursed, after a moment of silence, and had it show why the dragon scales marring the charisma.

The next right off memory, was a rogue the same character had in same manner min/maxed. The rogue, after a lovely poke of why stealth is broken in 3.5. Had the unfortunate chance to meet a nightwalker. A greater undead that well, decided to point a finger, and watch the rogue drop dead. (A nightwalker is a 15 foot tall shadow monster that is almost a boss monster unto itself. And item destroyer to boot.)

A third example, was facing down a vampire lord, he had been running two characters, given that our fifth guy was always sadly flaky. A noble mage kind of deal. We had fought our way through to the vampire lord's tower, and inside too. We were facing him solo, and his opening salvo, the cleric, from up in the 1st encounter. The only one of the party who had never died. Bit the dust harshly with a double 20 empowered polar ray. (8th level magic) so he was looking at 300 damage on a character that had maybe over 100. The poor cleric was frozen like a meat popsickle. But right after the fight was over, the nature of the mage to casually toss aside the death of the cleric like nothing, yeah, the game by that point was sorta ended.

There are more, like the curse of being turned the color pink for middle fingering a fairy, or the time of getting killed by the succubi paladin for being pushy about questing after her angelic angel boyfriend bit the dust at the hands of a hextor cleric. Or the drained by three dread wraiths. His expectations and pride and death go rather hand in hand.
JSchunx 2nd Jun 2013, 10:08 PM edit delete reply
Heh, speaking of devastating opening salvos, I had a Gnome Wizard who, had a habit of dying, and a preferance for the reincarnation spell. Late in our adventures, (he was a bugbear at this point), we encountered a lich. Our DM, after consulting the lich's available spells, asked us "who here wants to die?". Naturally, I was eager to see if I could get an even better reincarnated form, so I stepped forward.

The Lich cast disintegrate, killing me instantly and reducing me to dust, ensuring that a resurrection spell was the only thing that'd bring me back. I was a little upset.
TheStratovarian 4th Jun 2013, 3:22 AM edit delete reply
Thats just harsh. Ouch good wizard, to face such an ignoble end at the skeletal digits of such a fellow. But reincarnation is a fun one!
Tatsurou 1st Jun 2013, 12:31 PM edit delete reply
I don't know if this counts, but I have a story of accidental interpreted arrogance on the part of the bad guy.

Quite a few pages back, I told the story of the little girl Beast Tamer in the FF campaign? The one who was raised by the hunting dog, and wound up randomly taming a red dragon on a nat 20 call for help?

Well, same campaign. We came up against the final boss of the current campaign, the BBEG. As we went up against him, the party warrior - our leader - said my character should sit the fight out. In character, the entire group had gotten protective of the little girl once she'd opened up to them, and he felt he should shield her from excessive bloodshed if he could. So she went outside and called Flammie - the red dragon - to come play. He landed, rolled onto his back, and she climbed up and started scratching his belly.

The BBEG stared for a time, then turned to the warrior.

BBEG:'re having her sit this fight out?
Warrior: Yep.
BBEG: Why?
Warrior: Well, I'd rather her not see fighting unless she has to.
DM: Roll for intimidate.
Warrior: Huh? Okay. *rolls* nat 20? What was I rolling?
All: Huh?

The DM explained that the BBEG interpreted it as my little girl Monster Tamer with a tame red dragon - a high level encounter nearly equivalent to the BBEG in its own right if not friendly - was the group's weakest link, the one they don't need for combat. He then thought about what that meant for the rest of the group's power level, and survival instinct trumped pride.

Has anyone else ever made the BBEG surrender accidentally?
emmerlaus 1st Jun 2013, 12:46 PM edit delete reply
I was playing Mutants & Mastermind, a RPG about superheroes... I made a slightly better version of BOOSTER GOLD and played him with the same personallity.

The best part is that that our group had a Luck user who didnt love attention or fame... And was making me and my teammates look so good that it was ridiculous LOL

Raxon 1st Jun 2013, 1:05 PM edit delete reply
I have a wizard who is epic level, and a pretty nice guy. Unless you're a dirt witch... I mean druid.

Or a sorcerer. Or a warlock. Necromancer. Pretty much any primary spellcaster other than a wizard or a priest. Or a bard. He's half bard.

He also despises fire mages. And water mages... Well, if you use elemental spells, it's because you took the easy courses at wizard school, and you're a slacker. This is the same guy who has a nigh unlimited teleport spell where he tricks the universe into doing the teleporting for him. Sorcerers are the lazy, shiftless, naturally talented idiots who never bother to improve upon their gifts, and instead simply rely on them.

And then there are dirt witches. "Hello there. Painted with all the colors of the wind lately?" Necromancers are perverted puppeteers, and he doesn't actually believe that a soul can be manipulated via magic. He thinks the necromancers are literally turning corpses into puppets.

Pride and arrogance are the daily special for him. But only where magic is involved. The best part is that he gets his comeuppance on a daily basis, receiving grievous wounds constantly, and being forced to use his magic to regrow anything from fingers to eyes to entire limbs. Ahh, fun times.

"Yeah, I thought about regrowing my nose, but just hear me out! I could install tactile olfactory sensors, And have a spring loaded grappling hook there instead!"

These things almost never end well. Like the time he tried to perfect laser vision, and ended up snapping his neck from the recoil when he fired javelins made of bone from his eye sockets. Which, admittedly, is really cool.
Rokas 1st Jun 2013, 5:41 PM edit delete reply
...Raxon, you should write a book, detailing such misadventures. I'm sure if "My Tank Is Fight!" could sell, then yours would, too. Hell, I know I'd buy it, whether the stories you have are true or not; they're just that dang funny.
Tatsurou 1st Jun 2013, 8:15 PM edit delete reply
Only question there is what should it be called?
Raxon 1st Jun 2013, 9:34 PM edit delete reply
Current working title is Raxon in Gotham.

And that will never see the light of day, though I will save the fun bits and reuse them elsewhere. Besides, in his nearly 900 years of existence, he has become so very overpowered. Biomancer, bard, wizard, illusionist, nerd, monk, blacksmith, jewelrysmith, genocidal plothole, master thief, escape artist, scholar, chef, tailor, carpenter, craftsman, fool, enchanter, and the guy who accidentally genocided Atlantis into extinction, though that really wasn't his fault. It was only the elves and goblins that he intentionally murdered to death.
Rokas 2nd Jun 2013, 8:36 AM edit delete reply
If those were Tolkien-esque "we're better than you apes" elves, then I suppose Atlantis is a fair write off to teach some of them a lesson about what us apes can do.
Raxon 2nd Jun 2013, 1:34 PM edit delete reply
Sorta. They're "That little girl said we're scary, therefore she said we're not beautiful. Let's torture her whole village to death as retribution" kind of elves.

And Atlantis was this thing where he got strapped down to a table with an antimagical field by some guys who wanted to steal his mystical title of avatar of chaos. Their plan was to pump him full of magic until it poisoned him to death. Problem is that he had such a massive capacity it was not so much toxic as it was volatile...

And that is how a character can genocide a continent and 800,000,000 people, and not be at fault. The elves were dicks, though. Goblins, on the other hand, they were bad things. If you were kidnapped by goblins, they often did... something to you. Nobody knew what, but it caused a person to slowly become dangerous, like a rabid dog, over the course of several weeks. They'd attack and kill those closest to them, and when the transformation was complete, they would act like little more than a mindless psychopath, attacking anyone nearby. The problem is that the person was in their right mind and completely aware of their actions, just not in control of them. Thus, victims of goblins usually had to be mercy killed for their own benefit, rather than suffering a fate worse than death. Also, there was no telling the difference between the clean and those 'infected' by the goblins until symptoms began to manifest.

Raxon is from a crapsack world, in case you couldn't tell. Though admittedly, what with the elves being inherently magical creatures, he's justifiably confident in his abilities.
Rokas 2nd Jun 2013, 5:22 PM edit delete reply
Wow, sound like Reavers, almost.

Gorram elves.
Raxon 2nd Jun 2013, 7:57 PM edit delete reply
Compared to the elves, though, goblins were a piece of cake. At least the elves put up a fight, what with being powerful magic users and all. Goblins were just midget raiders that attack in bands. Like D&D goblins. Then there are dragons. Basically like elves, but they spit elemental breath weapons, they're six legged, and they start at eighty feet tall and a hundred fifty feet long. This is a juvenile female. The females aren't so bad, though. They'd only attack you if you were close enough to make a meal out of without letting their brood out of sight. Males, however.. Well, think Smaug. Males are the ones that demand tribute of humans, go out on raids, and when two males fight for dominance, it often happens near humans. Not only that, the dragons are highly intelligent, and well organized with complex social structures.

And a sound understanding of tactical combat.

To wit: "Rawr! I am a dragon!"
Rokas 2nd Jun 2013, 11:20 PM edit delete reply
Those dragons sound like a good excuse for breaking the fabric of space-time and importing some tactical nuclear devices.
Raxon 3rd Jun 2013, 9:38 AM edit delete reply
Raxon defeated(read: banished) forty six of them. They were the last forty six dragons left after his father wiped the rest of them out. He just 'ported the dragons into a pocket dimension where time doesn't move.

Later, he takes a lock of supergirl's hair, uses his cloney potion to memorize it, and essentially steals a new body to shapeshift into; Kryptonian.

He uses this form to challenge the brood mother of the dragons to a fight for dominance of the brood. He rips her a new one. A new neck hole, that is. Now the dragons follow him, because he's the new brood patron. Except for the males, because he didn't want to put up with their crap, so they went back into the pocket dimension where time doesn't move.

Then he decided that forty dragons would put a big drain on his resources, so he anthro'ed 'em.

And that is the story of how Raxon, an ascetic monk, got a harem of females in their teens that can breathe fire and rip him limb from limb.

Have I mentioned that I am not very nice to Raxon?

Rokas 3rd Jun 2013, 9:50 AM edit delete reply
You are fricken insane. ;p Don't ever change... too much. You could stand to bathe more often, I'm sure.
Raxon 3rd Jun 2013, 10:27 AM edit delete reply
What, meditating in the waterfall isn't enough? Master whasisname said that the waterfall was cleansing.
Rokas 3rd Jun 2013, 12:09 PM edit delete reply
Not if that waterfall is downstream from a sewage treatment facility.
Raxon 3rd Jun 2013, 1:12 PM edit delete reply
Huh. Didn't know you was my ex. How's it goin, Bobby?
Tatsurou 3rd Jun 2013, 12:33 PM edit delete reply
You left out the most important detail of that harem.
As their brood patron, don't they have to obey Raxon implicitly?
btw, totally jealous of just that part. Dragongirls are hot!
Raxon 3rd Jun 2013, 1:00 PM edit delete reply
Ascetic Monk. Celibacy. Besides, they take the shape of their comparative ages, and most of them are totally not sixteen yet.

And yes, Patron is basically king. They are loyal to a fault to their patron. Males, however, can challenge him for the title, and he didn't want to deal with that. He has a Matron, a queen among them, who protects the brood, is second in command, and who sorts out petty squabbles. I have a whole document describing the social order. Females have a much more organized pecking order than males do, and they gain their ranks through infighting as juveniles. The biggest and strongest, and most importantly, the oldest of the females, tend to be top ranks, while the youngest and smallest are the lowest.

Males are in three categories, Patron, Keeper, and... something, I think rogue. A banished dragon that will never get any of the dragon babes because he is disgraced.

Sociology can be fun, and I've never even studied it!

And you think dragons are hot? Anthro tapir. Anything with a prehensile anything on their face is bound to be a good time.
Rokas 3rd Jun 2013, 1:43 PM edit delete reply
I doubt I'm your ex; I would've remembered being with someone like you. =P

But I gotta ask... you're not the infamous "Mr. Welch" from The 2200 Things Mr. Welch Is Not Allowed To Do During An RPG, are you? Some of your ideas are remarkably similar, with #520 especially so.
Raxon 3rd Jun 2013, 2:24 PM edit delete reply
No, and I'm not related to Skippy, or Runs Like Hell, though I have contributed to the Shadowrun List.

One of these days, I ought to tell you about the time Raxon offered China one wish and screwed them over in an epic way.
Rokas 3rd Jun 2013, 5:50 PM edit delete reply
Didn't mean Skippy, I meant something like this:
Raxon 3rd Jun 2013, 6:02 PM edit delete reply
I know. I have developed a lot of ideas based on that list.

My half-halfling jungle giant monk is one of them. It will make the powergamer cry because it is so ridiculously overpowered, and when he takes the leadership feat at level one, he gets a pixie rogue companion/lover, for added sizeplay squick.

My ilithid version of John Shaft is another horrible squicky thing inspired by Mr. Welch's list.
The Captain 1st Jun 2013, 1:36 PM edit delete reply
The Captain
We have one prideful member in our party. He is a prince that is also the Captain of the Royal Guard. If anyone, usually an NPC, disagrees with him or goes against what he wants he generally pulls out the fact that he is the Captain of the Guard and that disobeying him would be failure to follow a command of the guard. He is very keen to remind all NPCs that he holds this position. As the DM, I usually play this off as good or bad, depending on the situation.

One time, however, he had to set aside this pride for the greater good. And by greater good, I mean that he didn't arrest everywhere in a pit fighting arena in a bar. In fact, he joined in because he thought that he could beat everyone. Through the luck of the roll, he beat everyone. It did nothing to lessen his pride. So, not only is he a prince and the Captain of the Royal Guard, but he is also a master-class pit fighter.
EdgeOfOblivion 1st Jun 2013, 2:09 PM edit delete reply
My current Pathfinder campaign is a heavily-modified Kingmaker AP with a lot of focus on the fey courts (with a very heavy hat-tip to The Dresden Files). In particular, one character - an Oracle, and the kingdom's Ruler - started the game in debt to Queen Mab herself, who was later revealed to be the source of her magic. Said Oracle would like nothing more than to get out from beneath Queen Winter's thumb, but she has yet to be able to complete her end of the bargain - locating and finding out who stole a powerful fey artifact that the courts have been contesting for.

In a recent dungeon run, said Oracle died. This isn't the first death in the party - far from it. The party has an NPC Druid and an NPC Witch who both are high enough level to cast Reincarnate, so they've been able to scrape up enough money to bring people back if they bite it. However, the dead Oracle decided that by being dead she was technically free of Mab's position and therefore could wriggle out of her debt by simply refusing to come back to life. Soooo... when the rest of the party tried to get the NPC Witch to bring her back, the spell fizzled because her soul refused the call back to the world of the living.

Mab was NOT pleased. She decided to intervene directly, and even told off the goddess of death - Mab herself, as well as the other rulers of the five fey courts (Titania of Summer, Danu of the Tuatha de Danann exiles [precursors of the elves in my setting], Cernunnos of the Wyld Court, and the unknown lord of the Lost Court of Shadow) are merely demigods - and claimed that her right to the Oracle's soul was greater due to her unpaid debt than the call of fate.

At least at this point the Oracle's self-proclaimed cleverness gave way to enough humility (or perhaps simply self-interest) to prostrate herself before Mab and beg for forgiveness. Mab did eventually "forgive" her in a sense, though the resulting return increased her debt slightly, and she was returned in a reincarnated body of Mab's choosing, complete with having Winter's symbol permanently plastered on her back for all to see (when not covered up with clothing anyway).
zenaku 1st Jun 2013, 4:30 PM edit delete reply
So, in my first D&D group, we had a guy who was a min-maxer. Didn't really care about the roleplay, unless it gave him an excuse to become overpowered.

Near the beginning of one adventure that I missed, the DM had a town under attack by undead. The party was beating them back. Then, a guy in a black robe appeared, and with a single gesture, killed all the townspeople (mass cause critical wounds).

The min-maxer, seeing this, decided 'meh! I can take him!'

Announcing that he was sure the DM wouldn't send something they couldn't handle at them, he charged forward while the rest of the party stayed the hell back! And... he died instantly.

And the player was never seen from again!
Goblin Scribe 1st Jun 2013, 4:33 PM edit delete reply
Betcha it turns out that the guard who told them Philomena was a phoenix was just pranking them. ;D
Rentok 1st Jun 2013, 4:36 PM edit delete reply
I myself had a character who was rather too arrogant for her own good.

Sort of.

To this day I can't convince any of the other players that there was anything positive about the character, but I write that one up to bias, both on their parts and also likely on mine as well. Whatever, storytime.

So we started off on a short self-contained quest, to let the DM get used to us. A mansion just outside town was being looted by everyone and their grandmother, because the rich and not terribly popular Lord of the mansion had died recently. We headed out to get in on the looting, hopefully before everything was gone.

Stuff happens along the way, and my character's arrogance actually ends up helping us complete the real quest, rather than just killing undead and looting what was left in the mansion.

From there we move on to a much larger and more important quest, and it is this quest that takes up the entirety of the campaign, which took us 3 or 4 years to reach the conclusion of, levelling from our humble level 1 start, up to level 20 for the final battle, and being level 22 for hypothetical post-game segments that may or may not happen in the future, as a break from our current campaign.

Anyways, before any of that, though, we meet an NPC. A sorceress, or other caster of some sort at least, in the form of a little girl. We didn't know that right from the start, but I've always been rather good at predicting this sort of thing, and I thought her possibly hostile. My character ignored the obviously-insane(or possibly mind controlled I had thought) don-quixote type "knight" riding with the girl, and tried to question her directly, and accusatorily. After a deadlock where they were telling us nothing, and being quite "mysterious and aloof by not revealing anything about themselves" I decided to threaten her. Failed miserably at that apparently, without need for a roll even, and had two choices, lose face by backing down from my threat, or attack. I attacked. Nameless magic of undetermined origin smacked my arrows out of the air, and when I tried to run and use my slightly-magical sword, it was rendered unuseable by the same sort of unnamed and sourceless magic. The other party members caught up to the two NPCs and wanted to talk to them more peacefully. My character had time to think about what had happened, and then joined them. She apologized, for the first time in her life, and the NPCs ran away anyways.

Then, while the majority of the players in the party were absent, the two other players that were there decided they should just kill me off and reanimate my corpse to be their servant, because I was such a bitch.

All the times before this where I had done worse things? Totally okay.
Starting to show some character growth into a nicer person by apologizing? Time to die.

I was a ranger, they were a wizard and a necromancer. I got instagibbed by spells.

I rerolled into something else, and though I was immensely upset at this turn of events, things move on.

My body wasn't their servant for long. As part of our large overarching quest, I had pledged myself to a dying god- a god of fire and anger. He took claim over my body and soul, and they decided NOT to piss him off if they could help it. So my character's soul was returned to her skeletal body, and most of her flesh was restored as well- and since they had never looted her for cash or anything she still had all her equipment. All that had changed was that now she was an NPC of sorts, mostly we didn't see her and the DM occasionally came to me with regards to how she would X or what would she say to Y. She was basically herself, only having to follow the orders of a god, missing an eye, and with one arm from the elbow-down still skeletal, the flesh not having fully regrown.

Oh, and she was extremely chaotic-alligned, meaning the one thing she values more than anything else is complete and total freedom. Mind control, or at least being forced to act at the whims of another, not acceptable for her, but she had no choice.

Anyways, the campaign continued, and the god in question died, which meant the magic keeping her alive would die with him. However, the reason he wanted her body and soul in the first place turned out to be because in pledging herself to him, she had made herself into... well, it basically worked like a phylactery of sorts. He was not dead, merely reduced. He was trapped inside her head. She willingly ended up taking requests from him still, only now it was on her terms. She would work to return him to power, on the conditions that she have complete freedom, and that her own power would grow as he did (though not on a 1-for-1 basis). He wasn't really in a position to argue, and besides, her requests were pretty much reasonable.

She did end up returning to the party for the final confrontation (Under my control even. Multiple players had multiple people to control in that fight. I ended up with 4, the most.) We won, and the dying gods that were being usurped by the false deity we had just prevented from rising to true godhood (by killing him) came back to their full power, including the fire god.

As a reward for bringing him back to his full power, he was going to set my character up as a Lord in his realm, with as much power and freedom as she wished. She declined, and instead just had him return her body and soul to her own ownership, and she would continue to live in the world as she saw fit. He was surprised, and told her that he could not give her nearly as much power here as he could give her in his realm, but she didn't care. He gave her her request.

So in the end, she was killed before she could learn not to be quite so arrogant, because she actually apologized, and then ended up with a life of undead servitude, which she could not abide, and finally fought her way back to life, not using magic, but through her own brashness and arrogance.

The moral of the story appears to be that if you apologize for anything, you will be killed and/or enslaved, yet if you are completely self-serving and arrogant, you can do the impossible.
The Captain 1st Jun 2013, 7:27 PM edit delete reply
The Captain
You sir, are a god among men. That was one of the greatest stories I've had the pleasure of reading. Hahahaha.
Rentok 2nd Jun 2013, 5:17 AM edit delete reply
I can't take all the credit- the group I run with is really great, and the DM(or rather DMs, since we have two campaigns going at the moment, with different DMs but the same group) is an amazing storyteller, even if he sometimes (often, but I make it sound worse than it is) decides to eschew the rules to make something happen.

We've had a few bad eggs over the years, and everybody has a bad day now and then- usually when our many different play styles clash.

I have plenty more stories though. Ranging from grand- like the story of K'balt- to cringeworthy- like the story of the single-random-encounter campaign.
Kirby 1st Jun 2013, 8:12 PM edit delete reply
Hm... I've got a number of them that I've played with.... I've told the story of the lawful stupid Paladin who incited an elemental attack out of boredom, the Ranger who royally pissed off my rogue by "helping" her finish a challenge seconds before she would have completed it herself and his self-importance got him attacked....

In the second of those groups, our Wizard was an exiled Drow, who was uppity, racist, and believed that anything male should be "fixed" so she could use it as a footstool. In the campaign, our DM included two NPC helpers, a Paladin and a Ranger, who happened to be two of his favorite characters. Her own self-importance got these two characters captured and executed.

This was the last session of D&D I've played in almost a year, and I was very glad I was leaving for vacation for a couple of weeks. There was a very murderous glint in the DM's eye as we were wrapping up....
terrycloth 1st Jun 2013, 10:09 PM edit delete reply
In one game, we were playing 'Terrible Butterflies', which were basically baby gods. We started out with minor powers but the system was designed to get exponential really quickly...

On the second or third day, when we were still pretty weak, everyone decided that we should be subtle with our powers and lay low. Which is fine for the people with 'secrecy' and 'emotion' powers but not so good for the butterfly whose best domain is 'flamboyance'.

So I decided to avert suspicion by flying around in a superhero outfit and fighting crime. "How is this not inconspicuous? No one will ever suspect the superhero is secretly an astral butterfly!"

A few days later we got an audience with the Vice President. I thought I was being arrogant for saying that we needed to be immune from prosecution for collateral damage, because it was totally unfair to expect people as powerful as us not to break stuff by accident. But them Orm decided to declare war on humanity and pop off and blow up a few buildings.

Later on, I threw a temper tantrum and terraformed Mars. Using soup. NASA was not amused.
Soleana 2nd Jun 2013, 5:30 PM edit delete reply
Terrible butterflies, huh? That actually sounds really cool. Do you know where I could find info on it?
terrycloth 3rd Jun 2013, 11:11 AM edit delete reply
Well... it's not a published system, but you could ask Bard Bloom for a copy of the rules since he wrote it.
TermInexHatesCharCap 1st Jun 2013, 10:44 PM edit delete reply
I played a Pathfinder bard named Stuart Austin who whole-heartedly believed he was actually the world's greatest magic swordsman, not some street musician who played a support role (he performed via Oratory). He used as many big words as possible and tried to "inspire" the party by showing them how awesome he was and how lucky they were to be on his side. Due to some imports from 3.5 I converted and employed (and a ton of optimization) he was actually able to make good on his promises of being really BA. However, everyone still kinda hated him because he was so Austin-tatious (ha!).

The paladin that played in our first session would always tell Stuart to shut up every time he tried to say something, except for in battle because he didn't want to lose the bonuses. I ended up killing him.

Since we were playing in a Majora's Mask emulation, I was able to obtain the Deku mask. When Stuart wore it, I changed how I voice-acted him from an elevated enunciation to a gangsta accent, dropping the pride for a while. Once I was informed that the mask was crafted from the soul of a prince, however, I immediately slid back into an air of pretentiousness, dubbing myself the Prince of Scrubs (even though not a single scrub had anything to do with me).

In our second session, Stuart was less of an amazing swordsman, though, mostly because his katana was at the doctor. However, this gave him a chance to brag about how great of an archer he was (no need to tell the peasants that his prowess comes from the Deku mask's ranger levels).
aguyyouknow 2nd Jun 2013, 1:27 AM edit delete reply
Oh do I have stories... I actually had a character in a low magic pirate campaign that left the crew because she was so prideful.

Basically, what had happened was she had been bitten by a werewolf, and was being taken to a major werewolf slaying guild so that she could learn how to control it. The ship got attacked by sahagin, and we were forced to land on a deserted island.

My character then decided that she couldn't deal with working under someone else, as she felt that she always knew what was best, so she stole a lifeboat in the middle of the night and tried to get away.

Through sheer luck (I believe that it's fate and we'll end up meeting up with her again someday either as allies or enemies), she managed to avoid getting killed by the rest of the party + the rest of the pirate crew who were chasing after her in the other lifeboat.

I think that character is the first character I've really poured my attempts to RP into; otherwise I would have ignored the fact that the character would do exactly that and simply changed how she acted. But I felt that would be disingenuous to the character, so...
Destrustor 2nd Jun 2013, 3:01 AM edit delete reply
Oh, yeah. I remember playing a self-important character now.
Ralak'k, my ratfolk sorcerer with the "destined" bloodline (t'was in pathfinder)
I took the "destined" thing way over what was necessary. Ralak'k's whole personality was basically "Blind faith in his own destiny". It was my destiny to do great things, to do the greatest things ever. It was my destiny to be a freaking legend! Anyone who opposed me would soon taste the wrath of my destiny.
I might as well have worshipped my own destiny for all the faith I had in it. Every good thing that happened to me was thanks to my destiny, every bad thing was an insult to my destiny.
My catchphrase was "It's my destiny, man."

The best part is, I was actually really doing it! Using only non-damaging 0 to 3rd level spells, I was still the most useful member of the party. I saved a princess from a guarded prison dungeon using no other spells than grease, color spray, and light. I came up with clever uses of my weak, limited spells over and over again, making insanely daring plans and putting myself in more danger than was ever necessary, all because it was "my destiny" to succeed.
Ralak'k actually ended up marrying that princess, to the outrage of most of the nation: The emerald princess, the most beautiful maiden in the entire world(she seriously had over 30 cha), got married to a small, arrogant rat. Her mother was not amused. Funnily enough, her father liked my guts and was rather fond of me.

All because of my destiny.
That ratfolk was my second-most fun character to play. Oozing such amounts of confidence was hilariously thrilling.
JSchunx 2nd Jun 2013, 10:27 PM edit delete reply
And it's all the better if he's actually earned his desired destiny, as it seems he has.
horizon 3rd Jun 2013, 1:03 PM edit delete reply
Holy crap. Destrustor, I swear to the gods that I played a reincarnation of Ralak'k in a RIFTS campaign a decade back.

Rikchik was a ratman earth warlock who was utterly convinced he was a reincarnation of a great general, despite having pathetically useless spells and a yellow streak a mile wide. At the beginning of the adventure, he convinced the PCs he would be a useful party member by stealing something from a dragon's hoard — he committed himself to it in a moment of boasting, escaped by the skin of his teeth (literally, it came down to a save-or-die dodge roll of 18+ on a d20, which he made on the nose), and that used up pretty much an entire campaign's worth of courage, so he spent most of his time boasting of his accomplishments and/or running away.

Ironically, his cowardice meant he was the only survivor of a botched disarmament attempt of a nuclear device that wiped out a huge enemy fortress we were infiltrating. As the only survivor of the strike team, he lied and claimed responsibility, and got all the credit. So he became one of the nation's greatest heroes.

I wrote up his climactic adventure (in the resurrected campaign with a new group of PCs, when he had leveled up enough to get some useful spells) here:
_R_ 2nd Jun 2013, 3:03 AM edit delete reply
Look at Fluttershy. Her face reads "Woop, what a twist! That DM's good". Probably because she knew that it would regenerate.
Spikewerks 2nd Jun 2013, 9:36 AM edit delete reply
I often play bards or rogues, and more often than not, they are like this. And more often than that, it bites them in the ass.

Such as when I was sure I could get away with pickpocketing the keys off of the city constable. Five minutes later, I assured everyone there was a way to break out of magical manacles (there wasn't).
Raxon 2nd Jun 2013, 2:53 PM edit delete reply
There totally is. Don't you know the secret? It's sooo simple! All you have to do is convince whoever put the manacles on you that they have imprisoned you by mistake! Come on, put a little charisma into it!
Qazarar 2nd Jun 2013, 11:55 AM edit delete reply
One of my first real characters was an elven wizard. He had high INT and DEX. He was good at magic, very much so, but most of his feats and such went toward making him a more balanced character without it. Before long, he had some armor, a shortsword, a buckler, and two crossbows,all of which he could use rather well. I usually tried not to rely on spells, just in case, and used a lot of transmutation spells to boost myself.

Now, this character was very full of himself. He planned to rule the world and make it a utopia.

As part of his quest towards this, many of the fights that our group got into ended up being almost solely won by him. At first level he almost single-handedly killed a direwolf that had killed one party member in one hit and knocked out the other with another. Later on he fought the group's barbarian, who was renowned for his incredible combat prowess, and managed to beat him in a cage match. He definitely believed his arrogance well deserved.
SMX 2nd Jun 2013, 7:10 PM edit delete reply
One cleric who insists on a "Balanced" team, Each player have each role.
darkwulf23 2nd Jun 2013, 8:44 PM edit delete reply
Thanks to youtube, I can never see the second Fluttershy panel without hearing this.
JSchunx 2nd Jun 2013, 10:32 PM edit delete reply
Yeah, any time my brother rolls a Gray Elf, he's invariably and arrogant, selfish jerk.

We also started a Drow campaign, wherein he's a highborn wizard, another of our group is a cleric of Lolth, and the other two are members of lower houses. He plays up the class disparity quite well, sucking up shamelessly to the Cleric, and looking down on the other two.
Speeddemon 3rd Jun 2013, 1:50 AM edit delete reply
I have an Illumian (think human but with some glowing sigils for some bonuses in certain ability and skill checks) Truenamer, who is very arrogant. Believes that knowledge is the key to every battle (and really every other aspect of life) and thus seeks out all knowledge at any opportunity. Feels that Truenaming is the greatest form of magics ever devised and that all others (be they divine or arcane) are simply competing for second place.

...Except he doesn't really. He knows that Truenaming is actually really weak compared to what other systems can do, and was horrendously picked and bulied by the other arcanists at the college he trained at. Since he had no gift for any other school of magic, he decided to pursue Truenaming to best of his ability, with all his intelligence dedicated to that task. He puts on a facade of arrogance and boastfulness of his own ability in front of the group to hide his own insecurities, all while trying to not screw up and just contribute to the group when it comes time to fight.

At least that's how it started, but ever since he's been battling with the rest of the team he's noticed that he's been very capably aquiting himself in combat. Not ever MVP of a fight (that position seems to rotate between fights), but definetly contributing and always the second or third best party member during all our fights. With this he's starting to believe in himself a bit more and generate a bit of an actual prideful streak.

I've experienced the same thing that alot of the people her have mentioned: It can be really fun to roleplay an arrogant (or even just arrogant acting) character. He's definetely one of my favourite character's so far.

As for other characters that have been arrogant or prideful, I haven't had too many, but I did have one moment with a character that was sorta arrogant. It was the incident I mentioned a few pages back with my archer who thought he could storm the tower (ok sneak in, but the end result was the same) all by himself, while the rest of the party goofed off doing some non-main quest related (or even side quest related) stuff. It ended with him hobbling away from the tower with just a notebook and only a single hitpoint left as the guards attempted to capture him.
Freemage 3rd Jun 2013, 3:23 PM edit delete reply
Ah, good ol' Alokar Moraile.

Grey Elf Wizard (Conjuration specialist) in 3.X D&D. Barred schools were Enchantment and Evocation.

This was in the Living Greyhawk convention campaign. I'd min/maxed him to the hilt on Intelligence, starting at 20 at first level and taking every opportunity possible to scale up as time went on, both innately and with magical items. As a result, he was literally almost invariably the smartest person in the room--and not shy about letting others know it.

Now, because this was a published campaign, there got to be certain recognizable tropes of storytelling. This made playing a 'super-genius' easier, because he could literally predict the future. Thus:

[Five minutes after meeting an NPC authority who is obviously written to annoy us] "Before this matter is done, you will either have died by your own folly, or gotten others killed in your stead--just so you know."

Now, one of the big campaign tropes was "Ancient sealed evil is re-awakened because the short-lived races didn't heed the warning signs posted by the elves who bound it."

After the third or fourth time, Alokar decided that this kept happening not because humans were greedy and stupid, but because elves couldn't make damn sign to (literally) save lives. "It's not that difficult. You make one guy in your clan the Sign Guy. Sign Guy's job is to go around every hundred years or so and update the language on all the signs we've been putting up. Modern elvish (whatever that is that century), and current neighbor tongues. Hell, even include orcish and goblin, just so if they invade, they'll know that This Spot Means Death."

Eventually, when he went Alienist (giving him, for the record, the WORST Diplomacy score in the entire campaign--combined with a curse and his natural Charisma, his take-10 was a negative 2), he became an outsider type--from that point on, his tagline was, "I used to be an elf. Then I got better."

His arrogance once saved the party. Big Bad Archfiend is doing the, "Make a deal with me, or I shall personally see to it that my minions kill everyone you care for." Everyone else in the party, fearful of this sort of indirect retaliation, reluctantly agreed. Alokar, noting that he cares for nothing and no one, told the Archfiend to get stuffed, triggering combat and thereby fouling the fiend's plans.
Onyxjew 3rd Jun 2013, 5:57 PM edit delete reply
"I used to be an elf. Then I got better."

-initiate operation: slowclap- Well done. Had I been drinking anything, I might be shopping for a new keyboard right now. As it is I'm just having aftershocks/giggle fits.
Nespin 3rd Jun 2013, 4:43 PM The king of the goblins edit delete reply
Prideful or uppity? I can DO that. Let me tell you about Rozogath Metalurker.

Now, this was a D&D 3.5 campaign, for anyone who needs to know. It was a pretty old campaign, and one on a slower than normal EXP curve - so we'd gotten to play for a long time, without becoming /too/ powerful, and frankly the party had gotten wonderfully weird.

The weirdest by far was Rozogath. A self important blow-hard of a hobgoblin who was trying to use us as leverage to unite the goblin hoards - while we simultaneously used his desires as a method to kill a lot of goblins. Honestly, he was getting the better end of the deal - but he had a small problem.

He'd spent too much time with humans. So instead of just being "Boys, we're gonna kill some pinkies and get their stuff", he was leading the goblins with long speeches about honour, about the place of their race. They only tolerated him at all because of how effective he was - and we were slightly lured into complacency because of how prideful he was, he was obviously going to fail.

Long story short, eventually he got too many goblins under his control, we got worried that we weren't killing them fast enough, and only one party member walked away from THAT fight alive.

Well. More ran like hell with goblin wolf-riders on his heels than walked, but you get the idea.
AProcrastinatingWriter 4th Jun 2013, 9:22 PM edit delete reply
Iggy. Freaking. Iggy.

Blind pegasus with an attitude. Play-by-post of the Pony Tales system. About 15 posts per page. As of page 50, he has literally never said anything remotely friendly. To anyone.

I know it's not as flashy as some of the other stories here, but my gosh. The amount of players who have expressed interest in killing off the character.

Freaking <i>Iggy</i>.

...he's fun to watch when you're DMing, though. :P
AProcrastinatingWriter 4th Jun 2013, 9:23 PM edit delete reply
(as a side note, that was not the proper formatting to make that word italic)
TechUnadept 9th Jul 2013, 12:20 AM M. Python edit delete reply
That's one dead parrot...
serkan 22nd Apr 2017, 6:39 AM sohbet edit delete reply
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