Page 307 - Sensibility Ensues

6th Jul 2013, 6:00 AM in Swarm of the Century
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Sensibility Ensues
Average Rating: 4.67 (3 votes)
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Author Notes:

Newbiespud 6th Jul 2013, 6:00 AM edit delete
Everfree Northwest! One day down, two to go!

A couple of people recognized me (by which I mean recognized the comic when I mentioned it), which was neat. I also got to play a quick session of Roleplaying is Magic, yet another freaking pony homebrew RPG system, and with one of the creators (Tall Tail) himself as the storyteller. It was interesting, especially to compare it to Pony Tales (which still has my endorsement at the end of the day). Overall, my tactic of spending just about all my off time in the gaming rooms is paying off - in fact, I find I prefer the board/card game room over the video game room, even though I stay the heck away from all the Magic: the Gathering players.

Notice: Guest comic submissions are open! Guidelines here. Deadline: January 27th, 2023.



Raxon 6th Jul 2013, 6:02 AM edit delete reply
Today, story time is about what all you can hide on your person. With that said, allow me to enlighten you as to the maximum capacity of a mortal body.

TheStratovarian 6th Jul 2013, 6:04 AM edit delete reply
This is why you look to invest in mc hammer pants. What you could smuggle in those is amazing. Though don't underestimate a good kimono, they really come close.
Malroth 7th Jul 2013, 8:03 PM edit delete reply
I'm Nabeshin my afro suits me Its easy to keep it just wash it once.
Zmaxter 6th Jul 2013, 6:13 AM edit delete reply
I play Ponytales and my Pony looks like Pinkie Pie except his mane and tail are much bigger.
I store all my stuff in my tail, it's like a bag of holding.
Kadakism 6th Jul 2013, 6:47 AM edit delete reply
This is only partially relevant to the 'tell a story about hiding objects on your person'

In a grimdark campaign we did a while back, our characters had not had a fight for nearly five sessions. So we were ready to kick some ass. When we found an underground (literally) community of thugs and outcasts, we jumped at the opportunity. There, they were hosting a friendly little fight to the death tournament (UFC: Underground Fight Club).

So we have the human bard/sword sage go and sign up.

Then, without waiting to see if anyone else signs up, we have the dwarf barbarian sign up.

Then I, just standing there as a dog (shape-shift variant druid), somehow get roped into it as well.

The gnome wizard just stood back and started making bets.

The only rules are that you're not allowed to enter the ring holding a weapon, and only one man exits alive.

Cue the DM telling the bard and the barbarian that because they signed up one right after the other, that they will be one another's opponents (the barbarian: "heheheheh, what?") So they proceed to hide their weapons on their person. Amazingly, the barbarian hides his heavy mace inside of his pants, passing it off as him just having a bulge. The bard simply had to hide a dagger, so he was fine.

Amazingly, using a mixture of Hideous Laughter and his Sword Sage abilities, the bard almost bests the barbarian. But his greater hit points win out, and the barbarian caves in the bard's skull. The two are escorted (see: dragged) from the ring, and the judges begin looking for that damn dog they signed up.

While the other two beat each other to death, I passed a note to the DM that I was gonna walk away from the area for a few minutes. In an alley where no one can see me, I shift back into my humanoid form and wait. Once I hear the fight end, I cast several of my prepared spells: Bull's Strength, Cat's Grace, and Magic Fang. So I'm sitting on a pretty big attack and damage bonus once I hit my animal form again.

Confidently, I pad out into the arena and face my opponent. It's a Drunken Master. He’s half-lucid, holding a bottle in his hand. But hey, I’ve got weapons hidden all over me, because who expects a dog to turn into an armed dwarf? But I decide to at least use my spell effects and fight as an animal. The fight starts, and I’m beating the crap out of this guy. He’s hitting me for pretty minimal damage, and so I get pretty confident. I try to trip him, and succeed. He succeeds a tumble check to not fall prone (DM’s ruling). But in the process, his bottle goes flying and breaks. Cue him suddenly becoming hyper focused. I go down when his turn hits. MFW he axe kicks a dog to death, and then goes looking for more alcohol.
Brickman 6th Jul 2013, 9:22 AM edit delete reply
I can only think of four places she could possibly hide equipment. Her mane, her tail, her mouth, and "inside". I really hope she was going with options 1-3, but if I were in charge it'd take a natural 20 to even consider letting her hide something against an actual search.
Walabio 7th Jul 2013, 1:37 AM As a mare, Rarity has 5 placfes for hiding things. edit delete reply
Brickman 6th Jul 2013, 9:22 AM:

> “I can only think of four places she could possibly hide equipment. Her mane, her tail, her mouth, and ”inside“. I really hope she was going with options 1-3, but if I were in charge it’d take a natural 20 to even consider letting her hide something against an actual search.”

As a mare she has 5 places she can hides things where she can rapidly retrieve them:

* Mane
* Tail
* Mouth
* A Clean Internal Place
* A Dirty Internal place

She could also shallow things, thus storing them in her stomach, But she will experience the delay of having to vomit them. If she fails to vomit them in a timely manor, she might have to wait days for recovering them from the aforementioned dirty internal place
Grassy Tale 7th Jul 2013, 2:22 AM edit delete reply
Well, there's also a place for lockpicks in her nose... or an ear perhaps
Robin Bobcat 7th Jul 2013, 10:00 AM edit delete reply
Point of note: Horses cannot vomit.

Still, this is Rarity.. she could disguise lockpicks as hair clips, rhinestone-covered comb, jewelled necklace, or one of a dozen other little bits and bobs. Plus ponies may have a bit of hammerspace.
Walabio 8th Jul 2013, 9:53 PM Spike likes baked bads. edit delete reply

Anvildude 8th Jul 2013, 11:46 AM:

> "Wait, aren't horses and ponies Ruminants? Or is that only cloven-hooved animals?"

Hoffed mammals with an odd number of toes only have 1 chamber to their stomach. Instead, they have to use their intestines.

> "Because then there'd be a couple stomachs they could use."

Maybe, the buffalo hide things in the camers of their stomach. On Deep Space # 9, Morn hid the Latin in 1 of his stomachs.

> "And, @ Robin Bobcat- It is cannon that Ponies can vomit- Baked Bads, remember?"

I remember.
Anvildude 8th Jul 2013, 11:46 AM edit delete reply
Wait, aren't horses and ponies Ruminants? Or is that only cloven-hooved animals?

Because then there'd be a couple stomachs they could use.

And, @ Robin Bobcat- It is cannon that Ponies can vomit- Baked Bads, remember?
Raxon 9th Jul 2013, 3:22 AM edit delete reply
I love how you differentiate between a clean internal place, and a dirty one, despite the fact that either way, most ponies would be averse to touching the smuggled tool.

Both places tend to harbor terrible things. On the one hand, we have bacteria designed to break down biomatter. On the other hand, *shudders* children. Ugh, I wash my hands of this matter.
Suburbanbanshee 21st Jul 2013, 6:41 AM edit delete reply
Hoof frogs. Inside nostrils. Arm/legpits. Fake chestnuts on legs. Fake hairs. Inside ears. Prosthetic hooves over her real hooves.
Tatsurou 6th Jul 2013, 10:39 AM edit delete reply
I remember one anime physics game I played in, where one of the things we could put points in was 'Hammerspace capacity'. I put ALL my points into that.

Now, here's the thing. The rules that were made said that you could carry anything in Hammerspace if it fit within the capacity - regardless of load and weight limits - and anything pulled out of your Hammerspace was your weapon to wield as you saw fit. Also, putting something IN Hammerspace was an instantaneous action.

By the time I got well leveled, my Hammerspace Capacity was something along the lines of half a cubic light-year. That's when my reasons for doing this came out. We were sent to loot this one dungeon for an important artifact. The monster's were all high level, and the DM fully expected us to take several sessions to make our way safely through, preferably by sneaking.

Me: I stuff the dungeon in my Hammerspace.
Me: Am I able to grab the dungeon?
DM: Yes, but-
Me: Is it within the storage limit of my Hammerspace?
DM: Yes, but-
Me: There's nothing in the rules that says I can't shove a building in Hammerspace, is there?
DM: Well, no, but...oh, go ahead. I don't see how it will help you.
Me: Now that the dungeon and all it's contents are in my Hammerspace, I pull the artifact out of my Hammerspace.
DM: ...*insert several curse words here.

And of course, the favorite line from that campaign.

DM: (insert BBEG here) sends his dragon minions after you.
Me: I dual wield the dragons.
Me: I stuff them in Hammerspace first.

And that is how a character who had a 1 in every stat but - in essence - load limit became the most badass character in the game.

Needless to say, the Hammerspace rules got majorly tweaked for the next campaign.
Raxon 6th Jul 2013, 11:01 AM edit delete reply
That gives me some fun ideas. Thanks for the fuel, Tatsurou!
Tatsurou 6th Jul 2013, 2:26 PM edit delete reply
You are quite welcome.

Although I forgot to mention the funnest part of stuffing dungeons full of monsters into my Hammerspace. I also stuffed a good deal of explosive material in there, and would frequently pull out a monster who had enough explosive strapped to it to destroy it and hurl it at the enemy (started doing this when the DM started throwing incorporeal enemies at us). Not only would this frequently destroy the target, but I also got xp for the monster used as a bomb!
Syth 7th Jul 2013, 12:41 AM edit delete reply
*Insert Magnificent Bastard Trope Here*
Rokas 6th Jul 2013, 11:51 AM edit delete reply
Raxon, I will never look at a bag of holding the same way again.

I hope you're happy, because I'm laughing my tail off.
Digo 6th Jul 2013, 6:20 PM edit delete reply
There was a Super Hero campaign once where one of the heroes was made partly out of gelatin. He tended to store stuff by... absorbing it. Ewww.
TheStratovarian 6th Jul 2013, 6:14 AM edit delete reply
It is times like this that I wish 4th edition had luck feats like 3.5 did. So often you need that important roll, and the dice, well dice ya.

It loves to happen, and one instance had a lovely case where if not for the wizard, it would have been a total party wipe. (Alongside a reason to never split the party.)

The group was exploring and clearing out a bit of undermountain-ish area. We were still all lowish level, about 9 or so. The party, was a wolven cleric/fighter, a cat priestess, an angelic wizard, a human fighter/rogue, and a second wolven warrior. We had been trying to find our way out of the place, when the first fellow, deviated away, in trying to find something, against many of the wishes of the party. We all tried to parley, to be ask him not to, but he went on out. Cue him finding the lands owner, a vampiric lord, and his resulting die roll, a natural 1.

To make a long story short, he returned, acting natural, and murdered all but the wizard in their sleep, who fled, and managed a dispel to get him unfixed, needless to say, the rest of the group made sure the bills were on his head for the raise deads.

It seems sadly common that you will always botch with any charm spells levied your way, alongside other big ones, mainly reflex when its time to get the heck out of dodge, or dragonfire, respectively. Fortitude, eh, thats only barely missed.
Raxon 6th Jul 2013, 6:22 AM edit delete reply
Man, stay away from those magic kids, they're bad news.

They will paper cut you, man! They will paper cut you!
aerion111 6th Jul 2013, 6:44 AM edit delete reply
What, and harm their cards?!
No way, they'll pummel you with Pocky instead, and bore you with their endless bragging.
I don't like M:TG, it doesn't feel 'strategic' enough for me, but I ESPECIALLY don't like the people who are good at it <.<
Kadakism 6th Jul 2013, 7:00 AM edit delete reply
M: tG is all a couple of my friends do. I play less than casually, but I know just what you mean. The game a lot of the time is about who can drop several hundred dollars on a deck.
Stairc 13th Jul 2013, 12:13 AM MTG Prowess is not Dictated by Money edit delete reply
People think that the best decks in casual play are the most expensive ones, but tis not the case. I actually write articles on budget deckbuilding. One of my decks. called Friendship is Magic, costs $25 and has only lost once over the past year (and that was dang close) in multiplayer games (which it's much less likely to consistently win at) surrounded by decks that often cost 10x as much or more.

There's an extraordinary amount of strategy in Magic and deckbuilding is about a lot more than money. =)
Destrustor 6th Jul 2013, 7:33 AM edit delete reply
Oh then you'd like me: I'm terrible at it!
Digo 6th Jul 2013, 6:37 AM edit delete reply
Standard Operating Procedure that my wife does is invest in a bag of holding early on and thus capacity is largely not an issue until late levels. :3
Raxon 6th Jul 2013, 6:44 AM edit delete reply
Next time you play, be sure to have her put a skill point into Profession: Prostitute.

That way, she will never want for hiding places for all her weapons and gear. Also, she can be your default smuggler of the group. I dare you to bring up that plan next time you play. I dare you to suggest she take a level in prostitute so she can smuggle gold and weapons in horribly uncomfortable places.
Digo 6th Jul 2013, 6:21 PM edit delete reply
You want me to suggest that... are you trying to get me thrown into the dog house? :)
aerion111 6th Jul 2013, 6:45 AM edit delete reply
Save up for a Handy Haversack instead - the special ability really comes in handy.
Digo 6th Jul 2013, 6:23 PM edit delete reply
She actually does better with the bag because she doesn't need to pull out much during combat or in situations requiring a quick draw.

Me, I'm more the Haversack type because I tend to play magic users and need access to my magic scrolls and wands. :)
Flutters hi 6th Jul 2013, 8:39 AM Flutters hi edit delete reply
Newbie, that makes me sad, because you I am a Magic The Gathering player, and your avoiding my kind, why??? :,(
Newbiespud 6th Jul 2013, 9:20 AM edit delete reply
Because when I go into the board gaming room, I usually want to play something other than Magic. But most of the time I visit, everyone there is currently playing Magic.

And the draft has usually long since started, so I can't join...
Bronymous 6th Jul 2013, 10:48 AM edit delete reply
Next time show up with a deck of Yugioh cards and start asking around. Then the magic players will avoid you. Everybody wins.
Raxon 6th Jul 2013, 10:26 PM edit delete reply
I have the most broken deck in the world! It's nothing but twenty different types of cards, all with an effect that basically boils down to "draw two cards."

I have never seen anyone sweat bullets like the guy who was playing against me. He thought I was going to absolutely dominate him. Then I ran out of cards and conceded the match to him. The 'professional' player went from terrified to enraged so fast as that. I'm pretty sure the rules state that there MUST be at least one monster on in your deck now.

The kicker? I had no interest in the game, and after looking through a friend's card collection, asked if I could borrow some cards to make a deck. He laughed it off, and said I could take any that weren't in the cases or slip covers.

He was among the more shocked people, since I had told him I knew nothing about the game beforehand. He was just as convinced that I was going to use some combo that let me deal damage equal to the number of cards I discarded, and since my hand was rapidly filling up, it looked like I was winding up for some kind of one hit KO.

He thought it was so funny, he agreed to hide me from the rabid players. And that's the story of how I still have my flesh. Again.
FanOfMostEverything 8th Jul 2013, 7:21 AM edit delete reply
As a Magic fanatic, I can confidently say that there is not a single rule that requires a deck to have any win conditions. Raxon's deck of divinatory delight is 100% legit. And hilarious.
Daeron 9th Jul 2013, 5:08 AM edit delete reply
Wait is there a way you can post a list of cards for such a deck, cause I have some friends who look down on me for playing YGO instead of M:TG and this sounds like a perfect thing to do.
Stairc 13th Jul 2013, 12:31 AM edit delete reply
A slightly more perfect thing might be just to use a killer budget deck and destroy them all. =)
Steel Resolve 6th Jul 2013, 9:35 AM edit delete reply
What? No bluff check? "Those are hairpins and nail files!"
aerion111 6th Jul 2013, 3:54 PM edit delete reply
With a natural 1 I wouldn't be surprised if they were neatly rolled up in a package marked 'masterwork thieves tools, for when you really want that door picked' or something.
Also, I find it generally isn't a good idea to allow too many rolls.
Steel Resolve 6th Jul 2013, 8:10 PM edit delete reply
Meh, I still call shenanigans. Those dogs are unusually aware of the threat she poses. I mean yes, I know, the plot literally demands they be. But in game terms I'd be calling out the GM.
katarani 7th Jul 2013, 9:04 AM edit delete reply
Well, said GM is trying to recover from the two hugest blunders of his gaming career - trying to railroad the party again, and then splitting them up, into separate 'sessions', at that.

I suspect he's kind of panicking here.
Zakaz 6th Jul 2013, 10:54 AM edit delete reply
I don't pretend to understand D&D, as it is very hard to find over here in england, but surely you can hide a weapon behind a rock and retrieve it later?
494alex 6th Jul 2013, 11:33 AM edit delete reply
Probably not if they're watching you.
Zakaz 7th Jul 2013, 5:41 AM edit delete reply
I guess so. But she's taken treasure from a dragon while in plain sight. She was caught because of greed but surely she can do the same thing here? Steal her stuff back?
Raxon 7th Jul 2013, 8:20 AM edit delete reply
You know what? I propose we rename hammerspace to ponyspace, for the purposes MLP.
Rokas 6th Jul 2013, 11:41 AM edit delete reply
What's wrong with those of us who play M:TG?
aerion111 6th Jul 2013, 4:06 PM edit delete reply
Depends. Some of you? Nothing.
A lot of you? A lot of poor winners/losers who can't accept that they'd win through anything other than completely mental superiority, or lose through anything other than rules-abuse and dumb luck.
And a lot of 'No way am I playing a mode that restricts rares, I spent money on these cards! Get a job if you're so poor' - nevermind that M:TG might not be at the top of their list, even IF they want to play it now and then.
And then there's the attitude of the company itself, who straight out renders old 'editions' ineligible for use in anything but the least used formats (except for the highly-broken everything-allowed ones)
THose who've heard the rumors regarding 4th ed being the last attempt at making DnD able to compete with M:TG in terms of income, and the fact that it failed to do so supposedly meaning Wizards will stop wasting money on trying to make it good... Well, that's not gonna help opinions either.
Heck, if you've played the PC-game, you've probably gotten angry at how it won't let you customize your deck.
And personally, I think there would be more TCGs that suit me out there if Yu-Gi-Oh was the standard, rather than M:TG. Fewer would try without the evidence of such significant success, yes, but the ones who did try would imitate something I liked instead.

Short version: It might be a good game if you're into that sort of stuff (I'm not), but there keeps being reasons to dislike it, and those reasons add up.

I figure it's a lot like how a large part of the net hates both furries and 'bronies': It's not that they really care, but it's EVERYWHERE.
Used to be, you could barely even go on a forum without seeing some furry whining about fursecution, and they'd constitute 40-60% of the drawn art on any given site, and so on.
And the bronies keep invading places, turning a DnD webcomic into a pony one, turning various characters they liked into pony versions (that's apparently a thing. I guess I can see SOME appeal, since I've pondered what my own pony would be like, but I don't get why THAT's the fad that caught on)

Generally, people get quite tired of having things they don't care about showed in their face, and if it's done in an annoying way to boot then the thing itself is blamed for the actions of its fans.
Demonu 6th Jul 2013, 5:55 PM edit delete reply
"Those who've heard the rumors regarding 4th ed being the last attempt at making DnD able to compete with M:TG in terms of income, and the fact that it failed to do so supposedly meaning Wizards will stop wasting money on trying to make it good..."

Probably debunked seeing how they are making D&D Next aka 5th edition.
Digo 6th Jul 2013, 6:24 PM edit delete reply
From what I've read on the mechanics of 4th edition, I would guess that version was supposed to appeal to the MMO crowd.
Demonu 6th Jul 2013, 7:46 PM edit delete reply
Could be. There's a bigger focus on combat and all the other things got simplified into fewer aspects.
Other Guest 7th Jul 2013, 2:55 PM edit delete reply
World of Warcraft: the offline version
Delta Echo 7th Jul 2013, 1:40 AM edit delete reply
...which is trying to be all things to all people and thus failing at all, from what I've heard.

I'll stick to my 3.5 (and Pathfinder).
aerion111 7th Jul 2013, 6:24 AM edit delete reply
@Demonu: Actually, no, I had D&D Next in mind; I haven't gotten my hands on the full ruleset yet, but the rumors are that Wizards isn't interested in hiring a proper full-time staff to figure out what needs to be done to improve it. Instead, they are going to ask the consumers, hammer out some moderately-balanced rules, and hope it sells decently.
Consumer Unit 5012 7th Jul 2013, 4:06 PM edit delete reply
I guess Wizards' current management are unfamiliar with the old saying "an elephant is a mouse designed by committee."
Stairc 13th Jul 2013, 12:33 AM edit delete reply
Community management, discussions and shifting through surveys for more than a year and redeveloping based on feedback costs *dozens* of times more than just hiring the professionals to start with.
Rokas 8th Jul 2013, 7:32 AM edit delete reply
Wow, a bit tightly wound there, ain't ya?

Sorry that my existence as a MTG player, a furry, and a MLP fan offends you. I sincerely hope you can either take that massive log out of your back end, or learn that not everyone is your gorram enemy to bludgeon with hatred.
Newbiespud 8th Jul 2013, 11:29 AM edit delete reply
I sincerely regret making a friendly jab at Magic: the Gathering players now. See my comment below.
Raxon 8th Jul 2013, 11:46 PM edit delete reply
Don't feel bad. Nobody lets me anywhere near the gaming room at cons. I have to shave my beard and use my tenor voice to get in. I'm one of those horrible players. The kind who inscribes the word 'hastur' into my spell scrolls in case they're stolen.
Bronymous 8th Jul 2013, 10:24 PM edit delete reply
Wow, extra irony on that one.
AnAnon 6th Jul 2013, 10:56 PM edit delete reply
In defense of Magic: The Gathering...

Like most games, MTG is only as fun as the people you play it with.

Most of my closest friends are into the game, and they subsequently got me into it around April of last year. I started out borrowing their cards to make a deck of my own just to learn the ropes, and enjoyed it enough to the point where my own collection matches some of theirs. I very rarely play the game outside of my group of friends, which is fine with me. We experiment with different casual multiplayer formats, build multiple decks to keep things from getting too stale, and generally have a lot of fun. None of us take the game too seriously, and even though there are times when one deck is too gamebreakingly good, we're all evenly matched enough to keep matches from becoming foregone conclusions.

All the problems that have been listed concerning MTG are quite valid--the standard format and its incorporation of only the most recent expansion blocks often times does end up becoming a most expensive deck competition; players at Friday Night Magic can be overly competitive; rules come up enough during play that abuse of them can certainly be a cheap way to win. But all of these things can be circumvented if you just find a steady group of players that you enjoy playing with, and that take game as casually (or as competitively) as you desire. You wouldn't play a D&D campaign with people you dislike, and TCGs shouldn't be any different in that regard.
Newbiespud 6th Jul 2013, 11:17 PM edit delete reply

I got into Magic in high school and played it for several years non-stop. I have nothing against the game - it was a healthy breakup.

My comment was more of a dig at the most common state of the Everfree NW board game room on Friday - an impenetrable wall of Magic players at every table, destroying all chances of maybe getting a game of Apples to Apples going. It was NOT meant as a negative stance against Magic: the Gathering or its players. I'm sorry if I pushed some buttons.
Daeron 8th Jul 2013, 9:23 PM edit delete reply
Wait, did I seriously just finished the archive in one day?

Anyways, I am loving this comic!
DArchangel 9th Jul 2013, 7:38 PM So what you're saying... edit delete reply
... is that while I was spending most of a con haunting a game room, so was Newbiespud. And I didn't notice. Bummer. Ah, well. 2014, ho! Maybe next year they'll cordon off the Magic players or something.