Page 326 - Where Is My Mind

20th Aug 2013, 6:00 AM in Swarm of the Century
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Where Is My Mind
Average Rating: 5 (2 votes)
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Author Notes:

Newbiespud 20th Aug 2013, 6:00 AM edit delete
It's been so much fun exploring Rarity's deep, dual-natured character in almost every possible way for the past five months.


I can't wait for an arc that has nothing to do with Rarity.

Notice: Guest comic submissions are open! Guidelines here. Deadline: January 27th, 2023.



Raxon 20th Aug 2013, 6:03 AM edit delete reply
Today's story time is about crazy people. Aaaaaaaand go!

I would post a story about Raxon, but I thought you might need a little cooldown after Saturday's big post. I might post something, though, if you guys ask me to.
Digo 20th Aug 2013, 6:37 AM edit delete reply
Story time is about crazy people? Well that's redundant. ;)
DungeonMiner 20th Aug 2013, 9:40 AM Lurker edit delete reply
The Cue I have been waiting for!

Time to tell of my brief stint in 40k.

My roommate, a friend, and myself had gathered into a room. This was my roommate's first game, my second, and we had an experienced DM. I knew nothing about 40k lore, and my roommate knew...well...nothing about roleplaying games...

Anyway. The DM pulls out his books and has us go through the Rouge Trader pre-gen, what with us being noobs. I played a tech-priest with a servo skull that I desperately wanted to name rover, and my roommate played...the cleric type thing...I forget what they're called.

Anyway...let me just say I would have made the better cleric. His backstory was dirtier than a coal mine inhabited by pigs. He took bribes, let mutants live, pretty much everything a man of his class should never do.

But it get's better.

Our ship, the Ferrus Tumbus, was perhaps the most interesting set up our DM had ever seen. First off, the whole interior was built like a maze. Just perfect for future space hulk material. There were dozens of dead ends and darkened hallways, and everyone loved it. Why? Because our crew were all indoctrinated into a death cult. This, oddly enough, gave us a 10% morale boost, and because we had no other penalties on it, we had 110% morale at all times.

My roommate, being a music major also had a library with a large organ that he played manically.

Then we have R.A.A.I. The completely heretical "Really Annoying Artificial Intelligence." He would frequently hack into my servo skull, randomly jettisoned crew members, and for all intents and purposes, ran the death cult.

It was fun.

Although we did have terrible luck with warping.

...And ambushes...

...and there was that one time when R.A.A.I. tried to take over the universe...

But Fun!
galaxiponi 20th Aug 2013, 1:35 PM edit delete reply
Was your friend perhaps a ministorum priest or a chaplain? Both of those are cleric-y.
Walabio 20th Aug 2013, 7:47 PM edit delete reply
DungeonMiner 20th Aug 2013:

> “Rouge-Trader”

¿Is the MakeUpTrade profitable?
DungeonMiner 20th Aug 2013, 9:07 PM Lurker edit delete reply
Darn it. I hate it when I do that...
DungeonMiner 20th Aug 2013, 9:45 PM Lurker edit delete reply
I blame it on growing up in a French speaking country.
DoubleCross 20th Aug 2013, 10:08 AM edit delete reply
Oh boy, stories about crazy people!


I think I need definitions.
Zuche 20th Aug 2013, 10:14 AM edit delete reply
Well, then, have I got definitions for you!

Gynotikolobomassophile: A person who likes to nibble on women's earlobes.

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious: Atoning for a state of delicate beauty while being highly educable. (No, really.)

Thezmothete: A lawgiver.

I'm not going to define wowsers. I'm just going to say that Inspector Gadget was more foul-mouthed than you realized.
Tatsurou 20th Aug 2013, 11:48 AM edit delete reply
I have a good crazy person story.

In one campaign I was DMing, to add a bit of flavor to a town, I added a crazy old man NPC who ranted and raved in the town square on a regular basis. He was just a crazy guy, but when I mentioned he was ranting and raving, the group decided to listen.

Here's where it got interesting.

See, I had him rant and rave about his 'delusions' which just so happened to coincide with some of the group's recent quests. His other rants then began to sound like prophecy. The group was convinced he was a prophet, and decided to bring him along with. He was happy to come, since they fed him and dressed him warmly.

So now they have this crazy old man tagging along with them, ranting and raving continuously, and not knowing how to recognize the need for stealth. Now, nothing he raved about ever came up in the campaign unless he was ranting about something that had already happened, but the party was convinced it WOULD. So they dragged him along and took care of him.

And all throughout, he was literally just a crazy old man. Right up until he started raving in the final battle of the campaign.

See, the group was getting their asses handed to them, and the old man was ranting about how none of it was actually real. Then - since I love Secret of Evermore - I had him say this:

"This is a tabletop game! Don't you see? We are merely characters in a tabletop game!"

Paladin: This guy's a nutcase!
Old Man: If I be lying, may the maker strike me down!

I then had everyone write a letter - A through E - on a piece of paper and hand it to me. We wound up with D selected, so a bolt of lightning struck the old man, turning him into a Dragon. He ate the campaign boss.

In the next session, the group had a crazy dragon following them around, ranting, raving, and occasionally eating enemy monsters.
Digo 20th Aug 2013, 1:42 PM edit delete reply
That's actually rather brilliant. Quite a feat that the players kept him along that entire time.
MumaKirby 20th Aug 2013, 7:48 PM edit delete reply
Closest I've ever had to a crazy person was in Irriel's campaign. One of the other characters was a Monk who drove Irriel up a wall.

This was mostly because the monk insisted on introducing herself to -everyone-. Quest givers, NPCs we were interrogating, enemies, everyone.

The same group also had a wizard with very mild OCD. We were in a dungeon fighting against a cult, and the wizard insisted on cleaning all the hallways as we went through them. And whenever we were in combat, if he didn't have anything direly important to do, he would clean the closest thing to him.

By the end of the campaign, Irriel was ready to set fire to her entire party.
Akouma 20th Aug 2013, 9:16 PM edit delete reply
Oh man, one of my favorite characters (who I've talked about here before), is an absolute grade-A psycho. Think Rogue's (from X-Men) powers, with none of the morality. He eventually killed so many people with his powers, that it destabilized his genes to the point where he couldn't anymore. (Which was my way of justifying why he couldn't take powers on a permanent basis anymore when we changed to a different system, and instead just had a power that lets you improvise powers on the fly.)

There's plenty of stories with this guy, but they're all long, and require dense explanations of my group's established superhero universe.
Raxon 21st Aug 2013, 4:58 AM edit delete reply
Feel free, Akouma! As you might recall, there was some lengthy background info from me on Saturday. That didn't stop my post from being awe inspiring and fantastic.

And Muma, I'd love to see the wizard's reaction to encountering an alkilith.
MumaKirby 21st Aug 2013, 9:57 PM edit delete reply
We got the next best thing.

We found a Dwarf being held in a cell within the dungeon, looking like he'd barely been given food, and probably hadn't bathed since he had been captured (which we determined had been about 6 months prior).

The wizard refused to let us even talk to him until he had finished casting clean as many times as humanly possible. We were lucky our DM found it so incredibly amusing instead of saying, "Okay, while you did that, the cult has infected half the country with their demon virus." Which two of our party members, including the Wizard, were infected with too.

I think Irriel was supposed to be infected with it, but it just managed to make the Tiefling even more irritable until she made her saving throw to fight the disease out.
Digo 21st Aug 2013, 4:49 AM edit delete reply
I'd imagine the fits that wizard would have if the closest thing to clean was a muck monster or something.
aqua 20th Aug 2013, 11:20 PM edit delete reply
Ponikon 21st Aug 2013, 6:42 AM edit delete reply
You do realise you could just about post...anything? Anything.

Make it exclusively crazy, Raxon. Explicitly without side orders of genius, inadvertently right, inadvertently wrong, jerk or GM (are the two synonymous?)
Raxon 21st Aug 2013, 9:48 AM edit delete reply
I posted my story this time. It's about a warrior named Baird, further down. He's crazy paranoid, and totally justified.
Marioaddict 21st Aug 2013, 5:47 PM edit delete reply
See "The Orphanville Massacre"

I posted it back on Page 308, under the username of "TheOrchestralBrony"

If anyone would like, I can post it again.
RinaldoLuke 22nd Aug 2013, 4:38 AM edit delete reply
I once played a Malkavian in a Vampire: the Masquerade LARP.

If you know the system, you know that Malks are all crazy in some way. If you've *played* the system, you know that most people just use this as an excuse to make weird, off-the-wall, vampires. (The guy who dresses in a bunny suit and stabs people with steak knives is an extreme example, but most Malks fall on this spectrum.)

I decided to base my Malk off of the narrator of the HP Lovecraft short story, "The Rats in the Walls." This character did not even know he was a vampire. He didn't think he was hurting anyone: it was all the rats, always the rats. Why couldn't he go out in the sun? The rats would get him. Things like that. If he actually saw a rat, he'd freak, and he could always hear them, whispering in the walls. But rats can't talk, of course not.

Anyway, after about two games, the head storyteller took me aside. He said "Look, you've made a great character. But people are beginning to think you are crazy OUT OF GAME and are worried about being around you. Could you tone it down?"

Needless to say, I did NOT tone it down, but took opportunities to have little out-of-character conversations with people more and to not maintain any of my character's mannerisms while doing so. I got very good at going into or out-of character in a heartbeat.
carnackiArdent 23rd Aug 2013, 2:32 PM edit delete reply
I've always kind of wanted to have a Malkavian who acted like a character in an absurdist drama (something like Waiting for Godot, or Rosencranz and Guildenstern are Dead).

I never did decide whether he should just be the character, or whether he should be the actor and chide people for breaking character.
Super_Big_Mac 25th Aug 2013, 3:30 PM Razzafrazz edit delete reply
Crazy people? Y'mean... like me?
Digo 20th Aug 2013, 6:05 AM edit delete reply
This reminds me of my character in Skyrim. When I joined the thieves guild, I had so much money that whenever I stole items from homes, I'd leave a gold brick in it's place as payment.

I am so looking forward to seeing what the guest comic submissions are like this time around. I can't wait! :D
Death's Heir 20th Aug 2013, 6:10 AM edit delete reply
I played a character who would kill people fo rthe fun of it. But then turn around and give half of his profits to charity and orphan homes, and take any kids he orphaned (because he killed the kid's parents) to said orphan home that he donates too...A Kind hearted, cold blooded murderer...
mouse 20th Aug 2013, 6:50 AM edit delete reply
Sounds to me like he's just a big proponent of helping orphans. After all, modern advances in medecine and technology are reducing the number of orphans, and that's not helping the orphan cause any. Certainly people aren't willing to put as much effort into helping them if there's not as many around, :p .
Gden 20th Aug 2013, 6:32 AM edit delete reply
My current character is a very crazy person. The party was on an airship when a red dragon attacked the airship, and killed everyone on there, except the party. (This is pathfinder, so red dragons don't have to be evil) After the attack, the party opened a barrel, and inside, they found my character, who woke up saying "Um... what happened?" Apparently, before falling asleep, he was female. He is fully under the delusion that he is a female who was put under a curse by the red dragon to be a male. It doesn't matter that his armor still seems to fit him, or that every cleric he's paid to remove the curse cannot remove the curse, no matter how powerful the cleric is, he just believes that they aren't powerful enough to remove it. He is schizophrenic, and has Disassociative Identity disorder. He's quite often having arguments with himself. (the campaign is an evil one) He himself is not evil, per se, but the voices in his head tell him to kill things, which he quenches by killing animals by the truckload (usually mother bears, and her cubs), but he generally tries to counteract his evil acts by helping others, occasionally. His DID makes him act in a very chaotic manor, as well. (error on my part, sorry, he doesn't have DID, just is generally delusional, and schizophrenic.)
Zeeth 20th Aug 2013, 1:30 PM edit delete reply
As interesting as this sounds... I know folks with DID. Schizophrenia with hallucinatory voices isn't even close to the same thing.
Gden 20th Aug 2013, 6:19 PM edit delete reply
Yeah, sorry, I didn't mean DID, I meant Schizophrenia, and general delusion. I think he had multiple personalities when I was putting his character together, but I just turned it into voices in his head. Well, I was going to talk about my next character, but he's not really crazy, just complicated.
Darkside 21st Aug 2013, 1:27 AM edit delete reply
I once played with someone who did have a character with DID. Every time the other personality took over (or whatever the proper term would be) he'd switch classes and mental traits, but the physical traits would remain the same.
Gden 21st Aug 2013, 6:50 PM edit delete reply
I don't think my DM would allow me to do something like that. No, wait, I KNOW he wouldn't let me do that. (switching classes when switching personalities, though I would love to design a super hero where I spent points where his power set would switch whenever I switched personalities, long as it all works out in game I'd be fine with it)
Kokuten 20th Aug 2013, 6:34 AM edit delete reply
One time, my Dwarf, Abbaz Ironguard, Priest of Pelor got so drunk, that he begun to believe the mutton he was eating was speaking to him. After mentioning this out loud, I asked the DM to roleplay the meat. When he finished staring at me incredulously, he began to roleplay an insulting mutton. Furious at these insults, my Dwarf took the mutton to fisticuffs, and then brawled on the floor of the bar they were in. Since it was mid-day, the place was full, and the guards showed up to stop him.

In vain, Abbaz attempted to explain how all of this was the meat's fault. However, the Guards weren't too comprehending to the situation. They asked him to calmly come with them to the guard station. That's when this Priest of Pelor realized that the Guards were on the meat's side, and began to challenge them as well.

Needless to say, the minotaur of our group had a hard time in the judicial process of getting Abbaz out of jail.
Digo 20th Aug 2013, 6:55 AM edit delete reply
I generally tend to walk away from PCs who try to... uh beat up their meat in public. They're never well in the head. XD

But drunken PC stories are good!
Long time ago I played as Dana Scully (The X-Files agent) in a Vampire/Werewolf WoD setting using the GURPS system. Scully was the only mundane human and the only sane one of the bunch. At a bar after a poorly performed mission to extract a person of interest (the team only got his head), Dana got herself plastered on vodka.

A gang of werewolves that we made enemies with earlier showed up to kill Dana. She was alone, but while Dana is normally a smart lady with a good gun skill, the GM ruled that I was so drunk to the point I could only hit if I crit-fail my attack rolls. also, I had to make all attacks as called shots.

All the players threw their cursed dice at me to use, and boy did that fight turn out into a crazy battle!

Imagine-- Dana Scully, rip-roaring drunk, walking out out of the bar like a cowgirl yelling in a slurred made up accent, and she's rolling nothing but critical failures on head shots.

The rest of the team came in time to save her, but despite Dana getting torn up, she killed two werewolves single-handedly and broke the nose of a third with the vodka bottle.

Dana woke up the next morning remembering none of this.
Zuche 20th Aug 2013, 7:17 AM edit delete reply
Digo, in terms of both pacing and entertainment value, this story is well told.
Digo 20th Aug 2013, 8:15 AM edit delete reply
Thank you Z, you've been a good and insightful commentator.
Zuche 20th Aug 2013, 6:39 AM edit delete reply
It's good to see Rarity rally again and bring things to a close in fine form. Also, I can't tell if the bewilderment of the Diamond Dog is entirely in character or if some of it is the DM's, but the result is both well played and well written.
DracoS 20th Aug 2013, 6:48 AM edit delete reply
I think not letting Rainbow Dash loose is more than "somewhat" generous.
Digo 20th Aug 2013, 6:59 AM edit delete reply
When you give someone two choices, making the second choice involve pain is a great motivator to get them to pick the first option. :)
celestDaer 20th Aug 2013, 8:58 AM edit delete reply
The only time I can remember my character ever getting drunk, the GM forced it on me. Since I don't drink, my characters usually don't either, it's just not something I think of when I RP... but, the GM threw a small celebration for our team after our first big win (I think it was the Devil's 30/30) when we got to the hotel in Osaka after that, we ran into Charlie Sheen, Ewan Macgregor, and some other actor whose name I forget right now, and the hotel lobby became an impromptu drinking party... with four just barely overage teenagers hanging out with celebrities, none of which my super scholastic athlete character would've recognized, nor cared about. The GM, after I pointed this out, had the very drunk/high Charlie Sheen sit her down and forced her to drink, after I was drunk, the party kind of wound down, and I got really pissed at the GM, cause he kept ignoring my character's backstory and going, "Yeah, this other guy in the group is obviously the main character if this were an anime," and all I could think was, "We're playing a tabletop RP, GM, we're all important characters, or, I'm sorry, is the character who can outrun a car not important? The daughter of the Aeon Clock deserves attention just because the Aeon Clock was so damn famous."
Digo 20th Aug 2013, 10:21 AM edit delete reply
""We're playing a tabletop RP, GM, we're all important characters"

I've felt that same fustration as well.
In a Star Trek game, I was the ship's android doc and was easily the most forgotten character. The ship was a small cargo vessel with a crew of six. My character was an abandoned prototype medical droid whose company lost a bid for Starfleet's latest medical doc program (The EMH doc from voyager was the winner of the contract).

Despite having a pretty interesting background and potential to be the ship's much needed engineer because I could interface with the computer, no one saw me more than a bandaid. Even the GM.
Apparently having four times the strength of a human means nothing in combat.

So yeah, totally understand your frustration of getting your background ignorned and forced into a situation you don't like.
Anno1066 20th Aug 2013, 10:50 AM edit delete reply
For what it's worth, I know how irritating that can be. I've had it happen with a bunch of GMs.

The most overt one for me, though, was a guy who ran an Exalted campaign I joined once. Long and short, and there were off-the-table reasons for it, he was basically running the game for only two of the six guys at the table, and one of those two more than the other.

One of the guys left after literally nine sessions in a row where he didn't touch his dice. He was still 'active' and this was an outspoken guy, but he got the worst of it and decided there was no point sticking around.

I left soon after. Whenever I tried to do anything more than 'poke dude with spear', especially when it might interfere with the two guys I mentioned, I'd get what I wound up calling the 'Constipation Staredown' and then told I couldn't. These moments include, but are not limited to: cutting a rope to disable a catapult and hiding behind/inside things.
Nemo 20th Aug 2013, 1:13 PM edit delete reply
Oddly enough the current "star" of the campaign I am in is also the crazy of the group.

We are playing 3.5 with some newish people so one of the veterans decided to be a cleric to help. He worships Gnathoss the CN shark god of war and animals. Alfred is a devout follower on a quest to slay everything evil, no matter how brutally or morally questionable the methods.

Monk knocks some people unconscious?
Slit their throats!

Unconscious and chained werewolf prisoner too much trouble too carry?
Brutally coup de grace her 3 times in her own home while we ransack it!

Little innocent gnomish girl being used by an umber hulk as bait for food?
Tie her up and scare her, she might be evil!

Of course since the LG people are either new or sketchy as all hell (our monk)it falls to me, Grenthul the N sorcerer to be the voice of reason and morality to both stop the crazy (to a degree, I am N) and prevent Alfred from outshining everyone through his awesome combat and RP.

MORAL TIME: RPing can be hard for new people so engage them often. Also war clerics OP.
Flashpoint 20th Aug 2013, 7:38 PM edit delete reply
That's always annoying. Luckily I don't have too much of that happening, at least not on purpose. My problem is with games not going on when we plan for them, and my character ends up going to waste.

See I hadn't played any tabletops in a while, mainly cause I figured it wasn't really what I was great at, though that was usually because I didn't fully understand how to build a character stat-wise. I stopped playing for about 5 years, and then one of my new friends who DMs a lot tells me "I'm starting up a new long term campaign using the new 5th edition stuff, and you should join cause I'd bet you'd make a great character to mix things up a bit." At first I was a bit hesitant about picking the game back up, but after some pressure I figured what could it hurt.

So I made a character, and I actually put some work into his story since I was told this campaign would last us quite some time. I won't go into detail about him, but just know I put a few days into making this nice long thing, coming up with names for people, places, and even going with a nice little peice with a pendant from his father who died while my character was away and a long bow hand carved by his dad with my characters name engraved in it. So I put all this time into this character, we get to the first session, and the DM says "I plan on doing one of these every other weekend, is that alright with everyone?" Everyone agrees and the schedule is set.

This campaign lasted a total of 3 sessions. The last session was, no joke, over 3 months ago. I'm on the verge of throwing that character away, and refusing to play in that campaign anymore. Not like it matters, I don't think our DM even remembers that campaign exists. I keep bringing it up to him, and he says "Yeah I was thinking about bringing it back this weekend." Yet it never seems to happen. And it sucks cause that campaign actually had some real potential to be good.
Anno1066 20th Aug 2013, 9:44 AM edit delete reply
I'm currently running a Spycraft game in which one of my players is playing a Wheelman explicitly based off of Mad Dog Murdoch. His name is Hans. He started off German, but wound up being Russian due to his player not being able to do a German accent.

There have been some odd moments, such as him getting his heli-car sucked into a heli-carrier turbine, but this story is that guy's favourite right now and comes from our latest session.

The party was trying to track a ship's radio signal and, through the course of things, wound up flying over the Atlantic in a Company-chartered cargo plane. Inside was their car, their helicopter (it was a Code: Red) and the party.

As they go, the Snoop starts trying to triangulate the position of the ship. He finds that they're not only passing it, but that it's close.

The Wheelman runs over to the back door of the plane, opens it. He ties an achoring cable to the car, then shoves it out the back.

The he runs to the helicopter, puts on a detachable drag chute, gets in and says, "Everyone get in!"

And they do.

Only then does he ask me if there's enough altitude to start the helicopter. I tell him yes, but at extreme difficulty.

He hits the chute. The helicopter flies out the back of the plane, its engine still off, and falls. He rolls, then hemorrhages action dice to make the roll, skimming the water before heading off after the ship.

He did this knowing that I absolutely would have killed the party if he'd failed badly enough, and he needed to hit a 30 or a 35 (I can't remember) at level 1 to fly away safely (due to bonuses from the class, handling bonuses from the vehicle and the way action dice work for wheelmen, this isn't that unreasonable for something he knew was suicidal going in.)

His favourite part? That the party got in the helicopter with him.
Crazy Tom 20th Aug 2013, 11:00 AM Crazy Stories edit delete reply
Crazy people, eh? How about this?

I once played in a high-level pathfinder game as a monk, right after pathfinder's advanced players guide came out and so I took cloud step. Combo'd with slow fall's limitless distance at level 20 (I know about the errata now, but we didn't back then), I had an infinite air walk. In addition to the shenanigans that brought up, I was also immune to poison (as monks are wont to be) and so I decided to play my character as the pot-head, but I could never get high because our DM likes to house rule that drugs are poisons.

I spent most of the campaign dicking around and being 'high', or in pursuit of being high, until we finally got to the final boss- an archduke of hell, a super sized pit fiend. I killed it in one flurry of blows (crits... crits everywhere!), and the rest of the party as well as the pit fiend's entourage was flabbergasted that the druggie had just stomped The Lord of Hell. The party chalked it up to some kind of drug-induced moment of prescience, but the devils thought I could just repeat it at any time, so they immediately crowned me the new lord of hell in hopes of appeasing my mighty wrath and I set about turning the place into a giant pot farm.

Ever since that fateful day, the atmosphere of hell has been filled with thick smoke of a very different kind.
Digo 20th Aug 2013, 1:51 PM edit delete reply
The idea that the barons of hell are now all stoned is hilarious.

Diablos: "Duuuude. What about the blood war?"
Asmodeus: "Ehhhh, buck it. Wanna dance?"
Diablos: "Suuuure."
Delta Echo 20th Aug 2013, 9:21 PM edit delete reply
The Archduke abides.
FanOfMostEverything 20th Aug 2013, 2:12 PM edit delete reply
Hmm. Is "slippery mind" still a thing in 4E? Because I think we may be seeing one of the side effects: a rogue whose mind is so hard to grasp, even she can't keep a firm hold on who she is.
Demonu 20th Aug 2013, 2:20 PM edit delete reply
Somehow I get the feeling it's less generosity and more like
"I do this for you now so you own me something later."
Digo 21st Aug 2013, 1:02 PM edit delete reply
The Diamond Dogs aren't being viciously murdered. That's *VERY* generous for a rogue! :D
Demonu 21st Aug 2013, 3:22 PM edit delete reply
No, that's generous for a fighter/barbarian.

Not stealing from you, that's more in line of generosity for a rogue.
you know that guy 21st Aug 2013, 11:19 PM edit delete reply
Barbarians do manslaughter. Rogues do murder.
Derpmind 20th Aug 2013, 2:23 PM edit delete reply
Taking the focus off Other Best Pony (Rarity) is only acceptable is you put the focus instead on Best Pony. (Rainbow Dash)
Robin Bobcat 20th Aug 2013, 2:34 PM edit delete reply
Dude, you misspelled 'Derpy'.
Derpmind 20th Aug 2013, 3:11 PM edit delete reply
Derpy is Pony. All Pony is Derpy.
Destrustor 20th Aug 2013, 5:14 PM edit delete reply
FanOfMostEverything 21st Aug 2013, 5:35 AM edit delete reply
All glory to the Omniderp.
Robin Bobcat 20th Aug 2013, 2:34 PM edit delete reply
I played a Pooka in Changeling: The Dreaming. For those unfamiliar, Pooka are animal trickster spirit sorts, able to change into an animal - in his case a tabby cat. They are also incapable of... letting the truth walk around naked... That is to say, they lie, omit, and creatively stretch the truth with every waking moment.
This is not the crazy part. That's normal for Pooka.
No, what made Cheshire (for that was what he asked folks to call him) special was that he apparently had only the loosest grip on reality. He was dependable and capable enough, but his fascinations with riddles and conundums was a bit odd... and he was fairly entranched in the Wonderland mythos (as evidenced by his name).
He carried a sledgehammer into battle, painted pink with stripes, like a croquet mallet, and would scream the lyrics to Jabberwocky as he descended upon his foes. However, the most off-putting moment was when someone realized that Cheshire had actually... spoken the truth about something. He then told them that "Hey, I'm crazy, remember? You're depending on me to know what's real and what's not?". The fact that I can grin in a very off-putting manner helped.

Of course, the punchline was that he was only PRETENDING to be bat-guano insane, which adds a nice layer of deception to everything... as a Pooka likes it.
Darkside 21st Aug 2013, 1:34 AM edit delete reply
Reminds me of a character idea I had. This character would introduce himself to everyone with a different name, even if he just introduced himself to the guy standing next to them.

I even ad-libbed a scene where he went back in time and met himself, and he introduced himself /to himself/ differently each time.
Raxon 20th Aug 2013, 4:58 PM edit delete reply
Changed my mind. Baird Campbell is an 8 1/2 foot scottish anthro auroch living in a high fantasy anthropomorphic world. Many years ago, his clan was called upon to fight a great battle. They were told that their efforts would turn the tide of the war. They marched into a trap, and Baird was the only survivor of that battle.

He is now convinced that the Queen wants him and his entire clan dead. Jump to roughly thirty years later, Baird is living a quiet life.. For an auroch. He saves a girl from a bunch of thugs. She claims to be an orphan. He takes her home and cares for her. Years later, they fall in love, get married, and she gets pregnant. She asks him to take her to her hometown for a visit.

Oops! Turns out she was lying about being an orphan. She's actually the daughter of the queen. She also lied about her age. Since she's only sixteen, their marriage is null and void. Now he is convinced that it was all a trap. He has every reason to be suspicious and paranoid, despite earning the sympathy of the queen for his plight.

If he wasn't justifiably crazy before, he certainly is now. Justified, I mean. He was already paranoid and crazy.

Despite all this, the queen is very understanding. After all, her daughter did cause this mess. To him, this merely confirms that the queen is plotting his death.

"You just had to fall in love with a madman, didn't you?"
you know that guy 21st Aug 2013, 11:25 PM edit delete reply
How insane that queen must be, to use her daughter like that instead of having the daughter kill him herself.
Destrustor 20th Aug 2013, 5:10 PM edit delete reply
Crazy? My wizard of mass destruction was crazy. I talked about him a bunch of times here already, archive binge to your heart's content. I think he'd have officially fit the description of a full-blown sociopath. There were only three things on his mind, in exponentially decreasing order of importance:
1: Explosions
2: more explosions
3: everything else
My favorite quote: "Waaait a minute! I murdered my own entire family! ...Huh." About eight in-character years after the fact. He then went back to work with a shrug. Also, it's useful to note that the entire universe was murdered along with said family. His love of explosions utterly detached him from everything else.

As for drunk stories, my DM invented the abomination known as "emerald beer" like, seriously beer brewed from/with emeralds in it.( it's a dwarf thing)
That stupid "beer" is so darn strong that a single shot of the stuff is enough to get you drunk for weeks on end. It doesn't just make you drunk too, it makes you completely insane. it's strong enough to kill campaigns. Seriously.
One player, just to be a d**k, bought one bottle and tricked the rest of the party into drinking it. because of their fortitude saves, the DM ruled that they would be drunk for the next twenty years MINIMUM, and that also meant drunk to the point where the characters actually gained completely new, random personalities for the duration. Said personalities were so cripplingly random and dysfunctional that the group unanimously agreed that the entire game was doomed from that.
The only way they could have been cured was a freaking miracle spell for each. We were level six or something; no way we could afford or even find that.
Did I mention that my character was the only one who DIDN'T drink? Which meant that I was stuck as the responsible one who'd have to fix this somehow. And there was a world-killing army of demons that we'd have had trouble dealing with even in the best of times, heading for us and only a few months away.
Seriously, I told the DM that if he wanted to have that kind of nonsense in his games, the least he could do was to make it cost more than 2k gold, since I'd personally price a kingdom-ruining, nearly-unsaveable poison at around at least a few billion. God I hate that stupid beer.
you know that guy 21st Aug 2013, 11:27 PM edit delete reply
Get the demons to drink the beer.
Marker Mage 20th Aug 2013, 6:59 PM edit delete reply
Crazy characters... Finally, a topic I can immediately think of annecdotes for!

So at the moment, I'm involved in this 2nd edition game where my character is a 6th level human wizard (with a starting level of thief) named Hudson Forns. He's chaotic neutral (though I might be going more with the Eberron version of the neutral alignment). His best score is in Int, his second best in Cha, and Wis is his dump stat. Smooth talker with good ideas, but little luck picking them out from the bad ideas. To let my fellow players know that my character's suggestion is not one that I, as a player, recommend, I roleplay Hudson's owl familiar, Dr. Hoot, pecking him. The darn owl's insistance is the reason that Hudson's robe used for his Deep Pockets spell is the color blue (The owl thinks that anything that's bigger on the inside needs to be blue). The owl has also started requesting a scarf to make up for being drenched in an earlier adventure. However, Hudson has gained another voice to listen to in the form of an intelligent staff, named Ember. The familiar is a bit upset that the staff with the mind of a fire-breathing dragon gets the tie-breaking vote on whether Hudson burns something.

So, crazy things said and done:
1."So how much for just information about where this guy is?" (Said to guards at the exit of a city while holding a wanted poster of himself in front of his face in an effort to get closer. The wanted poster does not mention an "alive" option.)
2."They must be jealous of our good looks!" (Explanation for the wanted posters of himself and the bard. Turns out the city had outlawed arcane magic, and the DM already knew of my plans to switch over to wizard as soon as possible.)
3.(after being woken up to take over lookout duty by a halfling that just had his thief levels changed into fighter levels by a lightning bolt that also left him with a bald spot) "I'm very sorry about what I did, but could you tell me what I was saying and what arm movements I was making?" (Hudson still thinks that he produced a lightning bolt in his sleep.)
4."Uh... I mean... uh... I DIDN'T KILL YOU! ..." (Said after being reunited with a PC sometime after choking a copy of some sort with his staff untill it disappeared. Statement was sortly followed by running back to the tile in the center of the room that warps whoever steps on it into a random room.)
5."We get ourselves lost in the woods. We find ourselves another orc that speaks common, and we let him live in exchange for directions." (Plan for finding the guy who was paying orcs to find and kill the party.)
6."It's 25,000 gold!" "Finish my scarf!" (First argument between staff and familiar.)
7.That one time Hudson Forns tried selling an evil wizard Tarasque insurance. (Was on a quest to gather things for a weapon to use against the Tarasque, and the evil wizard had one of them. One of my favorite roleplaying moments.)
8.Numerous times when Hudson Forns takes the lead in marching order. (I just have him start walking off if the party isn't doing anything, and the fighter decides to follow instead of getting in front.)
9.Throwing a bar of soap at a lizardman. (Kept failing saves against the smell.)
10.Lighting flammable catapult ammo in midair with burning hands spell instead of having it lit before being launched. (I got a bit competitive with the high level NPC wizard, and it was a fight against the Tarasque with an army helping out. I wanted to make sure I walked away from it with a reputation for being crazy awesome, and the DM kept "are you sure you want to do that?"ing my idea of having Hudson catapulted onto the Tarasque's back and rolling a burning sphere all over it.)
And that's all I can remember at the moment. I wouldn't mind getting into story-telling.
Minsc 20th Aug 2013, 7:11 PM Loving this so Much edit delete reply
Along with the friendship parts, I like when you elaborate on the Mane Six's Elements as well.
Gabriel 20th Aug 2013, 9:45 PM edit delete reply
Yay, I finally have a reason to comment (outside of the normal "Awesome comic!" which I avoid cause it's obvious)! Also, long post, I'm sorry.

So right now, I'm playing a Pathfinder campaign. I've had an idea for a character for two years, and I finally found a friend willing to DM it. My idea was basically to take Deadpool and give him magic. With a few house rules in place, I now have this: Gabriel Leirbag, sorceror, Chaotic Neutral, Bloodline: Protean. The house rules make it where I get to ignore the limitations on how many spells I know, because there is only a 31% chance that I will cast them correctly. I've cast Disfiguring Touch when I meant to Alter Self, and Summon Swarm when I tried Fire Breath. Thankfully, I was allowed a concentration check to switch targets, which I passed.

On to the craziness of this past Sunday (the first game, I might add). We were on a boat, having just passed through a storm, and in the distance we saw indistinct shapes. My response? I cast Summon Bigger Fish (a house-ruled spell that I borrowed from Darths and Droids), which spawned a 700 lb sailfish. I dive into the water, grab his fin, and yell, "To the things!" As I get about 20 yards away from the boat, I hear the guy with the spyglass call out, "They're goblin riders!"

These were goblins with bows, riding 30-ft-wingspan black skimmers (they are a real bird, feel free to look them up ^_^), and the birds have spiked chains dangling from them. As I get closer, I use Ghost Sound to make it seem that I have a whole group of sailfish riders with me, and I call out, "FISH ARMY! ATTACK!" and throw a ball from my Bag of Tricks. The rat it becomes bounces off a bird ineffectually. The goblins, though, fall for my trick and peel off, only to come back at me and my fish. I'm just standing there laughing, but my fish is smarter than me and dives. Mid-taunt, I go down with him.

I finally convince him to go back up, and he rockets out of the water and tries to nose-punch a bird. He doesn't get high enough, but as he's rising I cast Jump on myself, and when he falls I gather myself and jump. I land on the back of the bird and crawl toward the rider. When I go to grab him, he crit fails and jumps so hard he falls off the bird. So I jump in his seat and attack the other goblins.

After the battle (it eventually reached the boat where my companions finished killing them), I land on the deck, but the bird is trying to kill everyone. I attempt to cast Hypnotic Pattern, and end up casting Expeditious Retreat. So, I jump off the bird (which immediately takes off and flies away) and proceed to run back and forth on the ship at full speed yelling GIR quotes from Invader Zim. The Paladin calls out, "Stop for a moment, so that I may praise your deeds!" So what do I do? I stop for two seconds, then sprint off again. He just stared, then shook his head and walked away.
Raxon 21st Aug 2013, 4:51 AM edit delete reply
This is beautiful, and I love it.
Gabriel 21st Aug 2013, 2:45 PM edit delete reply
Thank you, Raxon. I hope I made you proud. ^_^
Raxon 21st Aug 2013, 4:48 PM edit delete reply
You have indeed.
ShadowDragon8685 20th Aug 2013, 11:38 PM edit delete reply
Rarity, silly pony. You should never, ever give somebody a piece of yourself. That's giving them a ritual link to you, and your Will/Fort saves just aren't up to handling a scry-and-fry, let alone mind control.
Senshuken 21st Aug 2013, 8:38 AM edit delete reply
Crazy stories... Well, I have a couple but there is currently one in process that I think will take the cake.

What started off as a Dark Heresy game quickly went insane five minutes in after the fleet our characters were on (Made up of an Inquisitors flagship and two imperial cruisers (One of which belonged to a Sisters of Battle chapter) traveled through the wrap and crash landed in the middle of Gothem City on the DC universes version of earth.

Tragically, we haven't gotten to far into that one yet and from the looks of it we might not get much further. Kind of a shame really. Captain Alexander of the First Terra Reclamation Regiment was in the process of preparing his squad to assault the stronghold of the heretical Two Face gang (A courthouse).
Mythrillis 21st Aug 2013, 10:18 AM edit delete reply
Crazy stories? Well, more like moronic in my case. I once played Praedor with my bat-shit crazy character who was also a drunkard, named Karl. Playing him was awesome, due to him being insane allowed me to play without having to differiate off- and on-topic.
Karl was quite a peculiar fellow in his own right; Built like a brick house but works as a thief/rogue armed with daggers. He was the son of a noble family but he murdered them in a drunken rage and after that was the "crazy guy no one wants associate with". Enter our party: Semi-normal Fighter and a healer who only healed people because he wanted to open up bodies. And my Karl, the crazy guy with a pony named Bambi. Bambi hated Karl with a burning passion, due to Karl being way too heavy for Karl to ride his pony well. He also had a very good leadership skill, meaning that he usually decided what the party would do, and the other two had --for their ire-- follow Karl's insanely moronic orders.

Some of Karl's finest moments:
The party came by a bridge all but dead from a previous fight. On the other side of bridge there's a pack of wolves sleeping. We could have stealthily sneaked past them, but that was not good enough for Karl, who then decided to wave his arm and yell: "Hiii!!!!" waking up the wolves. Chaos ensued.

Like I said before, I did not have any difference between in- and off-topic, so most of Karl's ramblings were... odd. A running theme came that no matter what happened, Karl would insist that it was because penguins had a conspiracy going on. Karl had no idea what penguins were, yet they nonetheless were making a conspiracy against the party.

Karl also adopted regular plants, believing that they talked to him. He would name them and treat them like a best friend, until in some future battle he would fling the plant to an enemy and declare that "X died!" He would then proceed to mourn until he found another plant.

Sadly, the campaign ended shortly after that and Karl has been left unused ever since. I sort of hope to be able to use him again, since playing him was a major blast.
TheFreshDM 21st Aug 2013, 11:23 AM edit delete reply
(Long time reader of the comic yet first time poster)

I play D&D and am also a collector of RPG's old and new (I play 3.0/3.5 usually though I do incorporate some AD&D 1st E occasionally to my ideas) but usually it would be games by myself as I'd have no one to play with but I recently convinced some of my friends to try it out with me for the first time GMing (what a challenge that is hats off to all of the GM's out there it's harder than it looks)Anyway my favorite part of the campaign I'm hosting happened on the first adventure. The PC's were sent to grab some prisoners from a jail/winery that recently had a riot and a small group of prisoners/con men had taken over the prison acting as the guards and trying to get rich off of a wine deal. Well when they got down to the prison/cellar they encountered a door that wouldn't budge but were curious about it well they couldn't pick it as our party had no rogue so they decided to smash it down only right after they realized "oh no the prison will be furious at us and take this out of our paycheck" I told them the "guard" upstairs was suspicious and would be over in one round. That gave them one round to fix the door and act as if nothing happened our party's Bard rolled to try and make a mending spell now the door was too big to be mended but I didn't wish to give him no options at all so I let him try it. I told him on a 17 or higher he fixes the door The roll of destiny happens and what does he get? Natural 20. He not only fixes the door bu makes it better than new. The guard came down to find them all hands behind their backs whistling in the air he shrugged and walked off. To this day even weeks after the adventure (we only meet about maybe every once a month to twice a month sadly)we still talk about that our party's Bard was the best carpenter they know.

(I may post more from our adventures as they continue)
TheFreshDM 21st Aug 2013, 7:04 PM edit delete reply
Thank You for this great picture it shall be added to my library. I hope to be friends with everyone among here.
Ecarohnara 22nd Aug 2013, 12:54 AM edit delete reply
Crazy character Crazy Story... Well there was Mih'jett the Jawa scoundrel. Who's first answer to most things was explosives. Highlights of his career: Dropping a belt of Grenades ontop of someone we were supposed to rescue from an imperial prison. In his defense, our mission was 'get him out so they can't interrogate him, do whatever we want after.' So he just kinda reasoned 'Part of him ended up out of the prison.' He was also one of our gambling chips in a game of dejarik *The space chess R2 and Chewie played* we played against the people who kidnapped us. The other stakes were an imperial cargo ship we stole against the kidnappers Heavy blaster and their heavily modified yt-1300 *Same model as the falcon*. That we were riding. Yeah that doing was My character, she was a noble with 20 something charisma, and force sensitivity. So she was able to convince our kidnappers to make the wager, Cheated at dejarik using the force, won, and then we recruited their captain as a GMPC a few sessions later when her crew mutinied. I'm not sure who's crazier there, me for coming up with that idea in the fist place and thinking that would work, or the NPC's for letting it go through.
Drhoz 8th Sep 2013, 7:39 AM edit delete reply
A Malkavian, freshly Turned. So freshly, in fact, that his first victim was the human hunter that had just killed the vampires that had turned him. Malkavian lunges up at the hunter, sinking fangs into his face, and drains him.

Understandably traumatised by his new state, and the fact he just killed somebody, Malkavian is carted off to be introduced to the local Prince.

Prince: "And what do you have to say for yourself?"
Malkavian: "........." *wracked with guilt*
Prince: "Well?"

Malkavian is propped up in a corner to twitch like an epileptic chihuahua for the rest of the evening. Another PC strolls over.

"And what is your problem?"
Malkavian: *looks around the room full of vampires, ghouls, etc* ..... i see dead people.

Currently playing a Slaneeshi cultist in Black Crusade. She is joyously insane.

"What do you mean? I've seen plenty of family members die, and it never affected ME. Oh wait - is it different if you killed them yourself?"