Page 328 - The Pupil and the Thief

24th Aug 2013, 6:00 AM in Swarm of the Century
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The Pupil and the Thief
Average Rating: 5 (3 votes)
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Author Notes:

Newbiespud 24th Aug 2013, 6:00 AM edit delete
To offset the more serious and heartfelt content of this page, here are some lines I scrapped while writing it:

Rarity: You'll do no such thing, Twilight. First of all, you're a terrible liar.
Twilight Sparkle: Worse than Applejack, the Element of Honesty?
Rarity: At least Applejack tries.

Fluttershy: Um... What if the guards investigate and... the Diamond Dogs tell them who... WHAT you are?
Rarity: You clearly haven't heard Rover's ranting. I doubt such an accusation would stand out against the rest of his rhetoric.
DM: She's got a point.

Rarity: Besides, I haven't technically done anything illegal today. I mined gems. I got kidnapped. Trust me, Twilight, you're fine.
Applejack: Minin' gems is legal here??
Rarity: Well, the Mayor and I have an understanding...

Notice: Guest comic submissions are open! Guidelines here. Deadline: January 27th, 2023.



Raxon 24th Aug 2013, 6:02 AM edit delete reply
Can't think of a good story time today, sorry.

How about lying? Tell a story about a time when you lied your way through something awesome.
Darmort 24th Aug 2013, 6:08 AM edit delete reply
Wasn't me, but our dwarf fighter was trying to sell a deck of many things to an overly eager wizard for an instant fortress. In the end he left, saying that he'd be back. The next day he asks that I go in and try the trade because I'm "Better lookin' than he is", and passes me the deck.

I walk into the shop and nearly get mauled by golems, the wizard expecting trouble, before he realises I'm not a dwarf. I explain the situation and sure enough he trades the cards for the instant fortress.

Once outside the dwarf grabs hold of me and pulls me along saying "We should leave quickly."

When I ask why, it's because he kept the Deck of Many Things and instead gave me a pack of ordinary playing cards to trade.
Gden 24th Aug 2013, 9:32 AM edit delete reply
That was pretty stupid of the wizard to not detect magic on the deck to make sure it was magic. Unless, this is 4th edition, and identifying magic items is different there. Granted, it is an artifact, but I'm pretty sure the magic would at least show up, even if the wizard couldn't identify exactly what magic it is at first.
Mabbz 24th Aug 2013, 6:15 AM edit delete reply
In an MLP roleplay I'm running, one of the player characters was caught breaking and entering into a warehouse some thieves had been using. She managed to get out of the situation by claiming she had only broken in to steal a copy of Playcolt magazine while bursting into tears.

The thieves figured no one would tell such a ridiculous lie so she must have been telling the truth. They let her go, deciding she was harmless and that doing anything else would risk attracting the attention of the authorities.
Digo 24th Aug 2013, 4:39 PM edit delete reply
But did she get the Plsycolt mag? :3
Mabbz 25th Aug 2013, 3:40 AM edit delete reply
Yep. They were so confused they decided to give it to her, and pretend this whole strange encounter never happened.
ShadowDragon8685 25th Aug 2013, 7:36 AM edit delete reply
She should probably be glad they didn't offer to help her with her Saturday night horniness in person.

Still, that's a pretty crazy-awesome bluff. I guess the warehouse was one where they stored magazines waiting to be transshipped?
Mabbz 25th Aug 2013, 12:21 PM edit delete reply
Actually no. it was just a storage area, used to store anything for anyone. The magazine was one she found in the warehouse owner's desk.
Digo 26th Aug 2013, 4:54 AM edit delete reply
Somewhere, there's a very disappointed warehouse foreman missing his reading material. XD
Demonu 24th Aug 2013, 8:03 AM edit delete reply
In a Pony Tales campaign I'm currently in, my character's speciality is acting and bluffing. So far, he has convinced NPC's of the following:
- Being the drill instructor at the training camp the group was at while wearing a maid outfit.
- Being a reporter to get to see the mayor of Manehattan
- An enemy faction I'm a member of a subsection within their organisation.
- An Elritch Abomination with a godcomplex that my character is a god as well. Said EA is now shrunken down and lives in his pocket
- A different enemy faction that he's EL SANTO, masked luchador here in town in search of a challenge.

And several smaller lies here and there.
Mejui 24th Aug 2013, 8:21 AM edit delete reply
One time, during a D&D campaign, my bard managed to convince the local wizard to not only inflate the payment for dealing with a local undead problem to include some rituals for me, but also a 20% markup in the party's advance, for the purposes of "undeath insurance."

Under the terms of this insurance, if any of our party were killed horribly in the nearby dungeon, we would not under any circumstances haunt the town afterward (never mind that the ones in the dungeon weren't the haunting sort, and had left the town alone thus far).
Black Rabbit of Inle 24th Aug 2013, 10:19 AM edit delete reply
One time I obtained almost horrifying power and wealth via a simple lie. The party went to visit the King of Red Dragons, a Great Wyrm Red Dragon over four millennia old. Being secretly evil and a wizard, I pulled a powerful stunt. Upon a 40,000 GP gem I cast Trap the Soul and Sympathy. Pretending to offer the gem as tribute, he accepted and lost his soul to the spell. A couple of vile scrolls later, and my soul was in his body as its new home. With a simple polymorph spell and a few more lies,I laid claim to his power and his horde in one fell swoop.
godComplex 24th Aug 2013, 10:32 AM edit delete reply
one time we where setting up unstable runes under the enemy garrison and while there a high level combatant came up to the door saying "I am Dalagrance the great, and I demand to know who is generating so much magical energy!" needless to say I promptly saluted our people who where doing that particular mission, but the bard just smirked and said "you fool, I am Dalagrance the greater and I have used chronomancy to come back to this pivotal time to insure my personal future" and he rolled a nat 20.... this saved their lives and helped down the line because he thought he was guaranteed to live via a promise from the future so he let his guard down, like a lot....
Dalking 24th Aug 2013, 12:23 PM edit delete reply
We once had a Dwarf Rogue lie to the mayor of a town to get an extra reward. Basically, the character told the mayor that we had saved his illegitimate children from a group of summoned Fiendish Giant Ants. His bluff was so incredible that the Mayor, who was an upstanding, honest man who would never cheat on his wife, actually believed him.

And the Paladin just stood by and let this happen. It took the DM explaining to him that he would lose his powers if he let such an act take place for him to step into action. He called the rogue's lie out in front of a crowd of people, and the rogue simply lied again. He explained that he hadn't meant that the children were the Mayor's, but the Town's. This sat well with everyone in the crowd, and even the Paladin was duped by it. Fun times all around.
betterwatchit 24th Aug 2013, 1:45 PM edit delete reply
In a D&D one-shot earlier this month, our rogue chatted up a footpad in a seedy tavern, mentioning that he was bringing an unarmed coach out of the northern gate.

<Roll Bluff: Natural 20!>

Naturally, we went south, completely dodging a potential mugging before it even started.

I said "You charmed the $#!t out of him there!"
Midnight 24th Aug 2013, 1:46 PM edit delete reply
A story about lying and deception huh? The best one I've got is for my Rogue from way back when, Haseo. Using his various skills, he'd actually earned recognition from Olidamara, and a vast amount of wealth by level 10.

His crowning achievement though, was the slaying of a great wyrm red dragon by level 13 by the use of a simple bluff. I fed to the dragon's ego with the most basic of flattery to get close enough to it, then activated my Luckblade and made a wish to have a means to kill the dragon.

The result was me running up the dragon's back, vaulting over it's head, landing on it's snout, then driving the Luckblade so deep in the left eye socket, that I cleaved it's brain, killing it instantly.

After that, my DM was kinda a prick and made me retire Haseo. He couldn't really handle how overpowered I was able to make him so fast, while the rest of the group was pretty average. An encounter with Haseo in mind usually raised the average about 3 levels, and that made average fights, brawls for the rest.
Midnight 24th Aug 2013, 2:00 PM edit delete reply
A more fun story involved a friend of mine, who was running a drunken wizard, named Sirrah. She was an odd sort, that made her own prestige class, based around a caster form of a drunken master, called an arcane alcoholic. It was a rather fun class, and she had the most strange way of dealing with problems.

One of her better ones was when I'd sent a group of stone giants with a stone giant elder with them, and when she saw them charging, she took a drink, and cast mass suggestion on the lot of them, then proceeded to spin the biggest BS yarn ever about her and her friends being their friends and that they were gonna bring them kegs of beer and cattle by the dozens for a massive party, and all they had to do was wait for them to bring them in. Every single giant, save for the elder fell for this, and happily turned about to wait for said booze and food. The elder just took one look at all his friends leaving, and literally just said, no, fuck this, just go.

And as he turns to follow his mates back into their lair, Sirrah cheerfully waves and yells, "You wanna drink to ease the pain?" The best part, is that she wasn't being sarcastic or taunting about it at all. She was literally offering this Elder some liquir to ease the pain.
Matticus 24th Aug 2013, 2:09 PM edit delete reply
Bit of lie, a bluff, and just failed knowledge on my part:

We were playing a Star Wars d20 game as a mercenary crew looking for work. We were approached by someone representing a local crime lord, and he started quizzing us on our skills to see if we'd be useful. So the other players all mention what they're good at (tracking, fighting, computer work, etc.) and it finally comes to me. Seeing as how I wanted my character to be an ace pilot (not knowing that space combat would never actually happen in the game), I told him that I was a pilot.

The problem was that at level 1 there just wasn't any way to have a significant amount of skill points in any one skill. If I'd tried to hop behind the controls of a starship at that level, I'd be more likely to crash than anything else. Knowing this, I decided to embellish a bit.

Me: Yeah, I've been flying for years. In fact, I just got back from a short hop from Dantooine here to Tatooine.

This was a blunder on my part. See, I didn't know the layout of the Star Wars galaxy very well at this point. I assumed that because those planets had similar names that they must be in the same system. They are not, and the NPC called me on it.

NPC: A short hop? Dantooine is on the other side of the galaxy from here on Tatooine. That must have been some ship.
Me: ...It was a rental.

At that point the GM busted up laughing and accepted my little bluff. The NPC thought I was a joker and decided that the gang needed some more humor.
StormCroe 24th Aug 2013, 7:05 PM edit delete reply
There was this one time when our main striker was out of commision for a session, we ended up lying to the 2nd and lower BBEGs, managed to worm our way up the ladder of the social strata in the BBEG's camp and when he kidnapps the princess we turn on him, the gnome warlock jumps out the window and lands on the BBEG's giant bat. And when BBEG attemps to cleave the Gnome in half, boom, imediate innterupt that dealt 12d8 damage, insatakilling the BBEG, yeah the warlock had to kill 12 nobles to get his interupt that high... but it was all worth it
FanOfMostEverything 25th Aug 2013, 5:39 AM edit delete reply
In my currently defunct Pathfinder game, the party ran up against three half-ogres with a few more character levels than I should've given them. Well, after a few lucky rolls on the ogres' part, members of the party started running away, which pretty much sealed the fate of those who didn't. Soon, everyone had retreated... except for one character who'd been knocked unconscious. The good news was that she wasn't going to die. The bad news was she'd been stabilized by one of the half-ogres.
See, in Pathfinder, ogres are basically Deliverance-style hillbillies. The half-ogres were planning on getting into their full-blooded kin's good graces by offering up the attractive half-elf for... "fun."
So, the bard disguised himself in a military uniform he had stored in a magic cloak, used ghost sound to create the sound of a marching army behind him, and told the half-ogres that he was looking for the attaché of the kingdom's grand vizier.
One Bluff vs. Sense Motive later... "Aw shit, Zorg, why'd ya have ta go an' knock out some ah-tah-shay?"
applelatch 25th Aug 2013, 9:54 AM edit delete reply
So, I was the DM for this game, but I love the story.It was 3.5 and the party was led by Sir Jauffrey, a LG knight my friend rolled up and when he did another player and I watched him roll four 18s and three 17s for his stats, it was ridiculous. One of my other friends played Omen, a Psion who was Jauffreys adviser. So during the course of one of their adventures the party came across a group of Skiurids, if you don't know what those are they are evil shadow squirrels that steal your soul and store them in nuts. Their home was deep in this ancient wood they were passing through and it was inside of a gnarled old black tree, which happens to be from the shadow realm. The squirrels of doom attack the party and the beginning of combat use an enhanced version of darkness. Now with darkness normal light cannot be seen, so they manage to defeat the evil squirrels even in total darkness, but during the combat the psion kept using his mind to set them and everything else on fire. Once the darkness lifts the woods are on fire and Jauffrey demands to know what happened while attempting to put it out, Omen simple says "It must have been the squirrels sir." Sir Jauffrey who had no reason to believe it was his trusted adviser quickly agreed saying something about "Them damned demonic squirrels."
Phantom5613 26th Aug 2013, 5:18 PM edit delete reply
Here's my little contribution. It wasn't exactly lying(well, maybe a little bit) as much as it was that I totally bull-shit lawyer-speaked my party out of jail.

My group was playing a villainous game of Marvel Universe RPG, and we were trying to decide our first criminal act. I offered something like a bank-job, but some of the more...'creative' members of the group wanted to knock over a 7-Eleven. Guess who won out?

Anyway, as we just started to stuff our shorts full of beef jerkey, the main antagonist(Captain Amazing, the most amazingly dickish hero ever to live) came around and promptly kicked our collective butts to the city prison.

Deciding to not stand for this, I begin to rant to the warden that we were wrongfully imprisoned(We had not made any threats to the establishment or it's personnel...yet)by an over-zealous self-proclaimed authority figure that in reality had no power to make arrests(Captain Amazing was not a dully elected official or a member of the police force. He wasn't even a real captain!) and had assaulted us with no provoking on our part(We only fought back in self-defense).

The warden, whilst massaging the bridge of his nose, had us each released within five minutes, wanting to avoid yet another lawsuit against his facility.

And rest assured, the GM was doing much face-palming as the rest of the group was giving me high-fives.
ZzzDJ 31st Aug 2013, 2:56 AM edit delete reply
I don't have a story about lying awesomely in a game... I DO have a story where I learned I probably never WILL tell any epic in-game lie worthy of story.
We were playing D20 modern, just to give guns a try instead of magic. It was a campaign somewhat tied to a previous silly for-fun Epic campaign in D&D... In the epic game, we'd all been playing as horribly horribly BROKEN characters, since the DM allowed us to play as ANY RACE. So long as we had an effective character level of 22. My brother played as a Black Ethergaunt with an Int in the neighbourhood of 56... but I digress. The epic campaign ended with our characters narrowly failing to stop the Ultimate Bad Guy, and all of us were turned to stone forever.
In the D20 modern game, we were japanese students (just because the DM and his wife liked some animes and ninja movies and such), and Magic had just bloomed into the world... naturally, our characters were pulled into a quest to find out what was going on.
My character in d20 modern was decently dextrous, and highly charismatic... the idea being that he would lead in social situations, and hide way in the back and snipe in the actual battles. The first solid test of my bluffing abilities (which were stat-wise quite good), was to craft a lie to a couple paid goons so that I could go on-board a ship and find out more about this new magical shadow organization. Bluffing simple goons... easy, right?
Our DM asked me what lie I would tell them, and to roleplay it. I could not think of a single lie which sounded plausible to me. I tried to argue simply that I "should be allowed on board", but couldn't offer a reason as to why. My rolls were ok, but since the roleplay of my lie was so terrible, the conversation drew out and the goons became more and more skeptical and hostile, and I became more and more uncertain and desperate, clinging at straws.
It is at this point that one of my party members, ever the unusual one, decided to have his character stumble out pretending to be drunk and cause a ruckus... the last thing we wanted for our secret mission. At this point I was so stunned at the turn of events that I couldn't speak, as my companion just kept on going, making the situation worse and worse until we were both kicked off the pier at automatic gun-point. Shoulda stuck with the sniping...
Digo 24th Aug 2013, 6:14 AM edit delete reply
I actually like the scrapped lines better than what actually made it to the comic. The first one is my favorite. :)

I once lied my way through an ENTIRE campaign. The game was something like X-Files, but we were a group of free agents for hire rather than working for any government agency.

My character was an alien "cat boy" found in New Mexico by the team early on. I was a criminal back on my planet, a terrorist who specialized in disabling things and setting up traps. I was also pretty good at stealth, mechanics, and I wasn't above murdering folks. My transport crashed by accident because the jump drive didn't notice Earth in its calculation. I was the only survivor (partly because I sabotaged the ejection system for the crew). So when the team found me, they thought to have me join them and bestow my advanced alien knowledge of life, the universe, and everything.

"Sure, I can do that."

I became the teams mechanic on missions and... well despite my background I never found a reason to kill any of the other PCs. Since their missions often involved killing/capturing creatures and mad scientists, not to mention dealing with strange technologies and powerful magics, I had plenty of thing to keep me busy.

And that was the thing~ As long as I was kept busy, I practically behaved myself. XD

And the team never knew of my rap sheet. Hell, the PCs themselves never knew and since we've departed I'll never be able to tell them. A lie that goes with me to the grave.
Rokas 24th Aug 2013, 8:02 AM edit delete reply
Although the alt lines are nice, I agree with your final decision to go with what's in the comic; I think it fits better.

A nice entry in the winding up of this arc. It's so different from the show, yet still FEELS like FiM. Much kudos to you, Spudster.
TheFreshDM 24th Aug 2013, 8:32 AM edit delete reply
A story about lying hmmm, well the only thing I have that comes close to that is the time I created a character for a Dungeon Crawl (A Cleric) bu than when I looked at her I noticed she had potential for more I happened to see her diplomacy and Bluff were rather high and said to myself hey this character could make for a great corrupt politician or villain. And thus the latest villain for my current campaign I'm running for my friends was accident.
Midnight Blaze 24th Aug 2013, 8:48 AM edit delete reply
Ugh. Two words, four syllables: Loki Liesmith. He's a unicorn sorcerer in the campaign and he tries to lie his way out of EVERYTHING! I think the most idiotic time was when he tried to lie about using a fireball: "Woah, spontaneous combustion!" Sigh. But, anyway, I think his best moment was when he got thrown in jail. Okay, so first he gets one of the guards to believe he had been locked in there by an escaped prisoner. Then he manages to fool all the guards into thinking that the escapee is planning to overthrow the local government and offers to help catch him. Finally, he uses a suggestion spell to make the warden believe that he (the warden) was the escapee. So, now he's in good with the new warden, who is actually the guard he lied to first. The kicker? This all started because I said "We need an in with the local government." I think I should also mention that Loki's special talent is deception.
Fayd 24th Aug 2013, 9:35 AM edit delete reply
First time posting, but I couldn't resist telling the story. I was running a game for my fiance and her friends set in the Homestuck setting. One of my players was a Witch of Mind... I basically interpret the witch class to be a magical bargainer of sorts, and so a lot of the powers worked around that. She basically played herself similarly to Granny Weatherwax from Terry Pratchett, which I will readily admit to being my inspiration for the Witch of Mind powers anyway.

They were fighting some literal demons in a twisted version of Notre Dame (Another player was the Knight of Heart and there was no way I was NOT making Kingdom Hearts references left and right). The demons had some strong Damage Reduction that could only be penetrated by Good/Holy weapons. While the Bard of Space was intentionally triggering Wild Surges in an attempt to deal Holy Damage to them (she had SOME control over the chaos), the witch took a different route. She asked "Can I bless our weapons?" To which I responded with: "Are you an ordained priest of the Sufferer?" (Troll-Jesus-Analogue; they were playing as Trolls). She said "Yes. Yes I am." and rolled a Bluff check, gets an natural 20 on top of her already powerful skill bonuses and her Witch powers...

I had to give it to her on that, but there were two major problems with the bluff: 1. This Jesus-Analogues never got a real church going and has no priests. 2. SHE would have real difficulty being a PRIEST, as per the original statement. (She could have been a priestess, I suppose, but that's not what she bluffed).
Raxon 25th Aug 2013, 6:35 AM edit delete reply
Robin Bobcat 25th Aug 2013, 10:10 AM edit delete reply
I for one welcome our duckie overlords.
Malbutorius 24th Aug 2013, 5:52 PM edit delete reply
It's practically a running gag in my primary D&D group that I always fail at small lies, yet my massive blatant lies almost always succeed... Such as the time my Bluff focused bard tricked a Gold Dragon that he was Bahamut (I can never remember how to spell those names) and demanded his hoard. Natural 20, The DM however dident allow crit successes, but he humored me and rolled a sense motive for the Gold Dragon, Natural 1, I became so rich after that, and I had a Gold Dragon as a permanent follower.
Kitsudragon 24th Aug 2013, 9:32 PM edit delete reply
That sounds like an old AD&D game I was in. The party had an Amulet of ESP, which as a rule only works on low-level characters. It's a straight save vs. Magic in the old 2nd Ed. system, and it's not hard to do, especially as the characters get higher level.

However, the DM had the strangest luck with that thing. Every time we tried to use it on some random schmuck, they would resist, and we'd get nothing. But *EVERY TIME* we used it on a high-power Archwizard or Demon Lord, or anything like that, they *always* failed. And sometimes the roll was so ludicrous, he'd invite someone to look past the screen to see it for themselves, so we'd know he wasn't doing this on purpose!

It became a "thing" in our group. Every time that device successfully tapped into a stranger's head, that person became the Primary Threat, since he or she was *obviously* a powerful magic user or demon of some kind...
Mandolin 24th Aug 2013, 10:12 PM edit delete reply
I have a story of the exact opposite. It was such an epic failure that we still quote it to this day.

Suspicious Silver Dragon Whose Lair We've Stumbled On: You don't happen to be spies, do you?
Continually Drunk Dwarf Fighter In Our Party: We're not spies, we're just gathering information.

We barely survived that fight. (The dragon finally died from choking by sacrificial porcupine.)
flutters hi 24th Aug 2013, 10:15 PM flutters hi edit delete reply
Hmm, I'm seeing a distinct lack of Raxon here.
Bombom 24th Aug 2013, 10:45 PM Ummm? edit delete reply
Umm, He is right at the top, isn't he?
Digo 25th Aug 2013, 6:05 AM edit delete reply
He is, but there's only that one post. Raxon is usually all over the board with several posts. :)
Raxon 25th Aug 2013, 6:33 AM edit delete reply
I've been awfully busy helping my people move lately. Sorry for the absence. Have some ponies.

(Edit) Image fixed.
Guest 25th Aug 2013, 8:35 PM edit delete reply
Raxon, next time, put a warning for content...
Disloyal Subject 18th Nov 2013, 11:48 AM Raxon edit delete reply
I find myself morbidly curious. Up until now, I'd assumed that such comments were all jokes based on the running gag, but Raxon's 'image replaced' statement' confuses me.
So in the vein of storytime... looks like I just fumbled a sense motive check just badly enough to know that I don't know.
Guest 25th Aug 2013, 9:22 PM edit delete reply
Raxon 25th Aug 2013, 9:39 PM edit delete reply
I thought my perversity was already well documented. Nevertheless, image replaced.
Digo 26th Aug 2013, 4:55 AM edit delete reply
Good idea, wouldn't want that image having babies.
Fryla 24th Aug 2013, 11:11 PM edit delete reply
I haven't been in many DnD groups, but that doesn't mean I haven't had my share of deception.

I remember joining a group and learning that most of the members were combat-heavy. For balance, I chose to be a rogue - a skill monkey. However, when I made that build, I didn't realize that the entire game would consist of hack-and-slash style dungeon-looting. The most powerful part of my character went dangerously under-utilized.

So, one session while we were resting in a town, I decide it's time for my character to live up to her Chaotic Evil nature. The cleric goes to sleep, and I decide to take the party's wizard out to a bar. The party's fighter instantly becomes suspicious - why would I waste money on something so trivial?

I then proceed to succeed at least thirty consecutive skill checks, including Bluff, Slight of Hand, Hide, and Move Silently, as I hand all my obvious weapons to the fighter, keep a secret dagger hidden from him as he searches me, sneak away to the bar with the caster, order the strongest drink in the tavern, pretend to take a sip of incredibly strong drink and therefore pretend get utterly blitzed, sneak some of said drink into the caster's beverage, watch as he gets knocked out cold, drag him into an alley, slit his throat, loot his corpse, hide the body, and wander back to the inn while acting way too drunk to remember what happened or how we got separated.

Needless to say, when my character died a few sessions later and they found the wizard's spell components pouch in my sleeve, it was hilarious.
Brickman 25th Aug 2013, 4:46 AM edit delete reply
Aww, but that second set of scrapped lines is really good! You sure you can't still work it into the next strip now that we've had our heartwarming?
Robin Bobcat 25th Aug 2013, 11:18 AM edit delete reply
Oh.. let's see.. I used to play Pookas in Changeling, so I have a few stories there. For those unfamiliar, Pookas are shapechanging animal trickster spirits who can't tell straight truths.

My best one was when an angry Sidhe lord tried to interrogate me under oath.

1: No Pooka can be FORCED to tell the truth. Period.
2: He lacked sufficient magical ability to craft the custom oath properly.
3: He was of House Liam, the Oathbroken, so no oath sworn to him is valid anyway.
4: His truth-sense ability only detects if someone is lying.
5: He wasn't very bright.

So I basically answered all his questions in a fashion that was not *lying*, but also feeding him the biggest pile of manure since the Augean Stables. Confident that his technique was perfect, he believed every word.
Raxon 25th Aug 2013, 11:45 AM edit delete reply
Raxon doesn't lie. Ever. You might think this would hamper his ability to be a trickster, but it really doesn't.

Who's honestly going to believe the idiot who doesn't understand how a car works, when he says he'll be king of the moon in a month?

How about when he claims to be building a self-sustainable moon base, despite having no formal education in any of the physics or logistics involved?

And who will believe him when he says that it will only take two months of work to complete, all by himself?
guest 26th Aug 2013, 2:19 AM edit delete reply
I don't believe it but by statistics and plot devices, you are one of the most dangerous guys here. :D
Digo 26th Aug 2013, 4:58 AM edit delete reply
Sometimes the truth is harder to believe than a lie. I've gotten PCs mained and killed by telling them the truth and they think I'm lying.

There was once that cursed Al Capone car that had a warning on it: "Do not touch! Suicide Doors!"
The PCs thought it refered to the typical gangster doorstyle, but nope. Open the door and you take a lethal electrical shock due to the security system. Killed one of the PCs for 25 seconds.
Raxon 26th Aug 2013, 7:21 AM edit delete reply
Also, he claims to own a dodo ranch on the moon. He totally does. He also has an auroch ranch, and a ceolacanth farm, and thinks that he's personally responsible for the revival of the species.
Digo 27th Aug 2013, 4:55 AM edit delete reply
I had a player who owned a few Dodos. Turned out to be refering to the other PCs. XD
Hawkflight 25th Aug 2013, 1:28 PM edit delete reply
I once made a character based on Claudia from Interview With A Vampire. She was a Warlock/Assassin with a homebrewed incantation (Undetectable Alignment) and an INSANE Bluff score. Better yet, this was in a two-party campaign, and we were the bad guys.

So she basically lured the good guys, one by one, into a dark forest where she trapped them with Chilling Tentacles and Sneak Attacked them with her Eldritch Blasts. At least, until the 'good guys' started using out-of-character knowledge to avoid her. >_>
Guest 25th Aug 2013, 9:24 PM edit delete reply
gotta live with em
Tatsurou 26th Aug 2013, 11:15 AM edit delete reply
Not entirely.
I have a rather unique solution for dealing with players who excessively meta-game.
I call it the 'false prophet' scenario.
First, I wait until the amount of meta-gaming has become somewhat excessive. Then I give them followers who believe them to be a prophet. I let them dig their own grave there, as they - of course - take advantage of having followers who believe them to know all.
Then I pull out my specially crafted 'meta-breaker' campaign, where the only way to succeed is to NEVER META-GAME. Every single obstacle is specially designed to cause meta-gaming to backfire spectacularly. Then, when they've taken a major beating because of that, I drop a homebrewed monster on them.

Angry Mob of unhappy former followers
Health is (number of followers)x10
Deals (ex-prophets level)d6 damage with every attack.
One follower is slain for every 10 damage the mob takes. Add 1d6 damage for every follower slain as blood enrages the mob.
Angry Mob ignores DR and AC.
Angry Mob has movement speed of 10. Gains 2 movement speed for every former follower slain.

This results in very little meta-gaming later on.
ShadowDragon8685 25th Aug 2013, 9:25 PM edit delete reply
In terms of epic bluffery...

Well, my Chaotic Good goblin rogue talked a Chaotic Evil Young Black Dragon into donning a Helm of Opposite Alignment and voluntarily failing his saving throw.

She didn't explicitly tell him what it was, she just told him that by doing so, he'd find his temper eased and by doing so, be more capable of cooperation with the two-leggers and by that new cooperative association, be more easily capable of earning gold than simply by going door-to-door shaking down terrified townsfolk.
CelestDaer 26th Aug 2013, 11:39 AM edit delete reply
So, built a kitsune character in a campaign based on feudal Japan, because the DM was allowing mythological creatures, and I wanted to have fun, and gave her elemental control (another DM request, for the whole party...) over fire and earth. And I, trying to get into the gods good graces, am trying to keep my skills on the downlow... kind of, until our fighter with 1 INT is suddenly facing down a group of charging soldiers in the middle of a path... and I'm the only one nearby, um, shit... well, I start causing a series of nice earthquakes to feel like the footfalls of a massive animal that we'd seen wandering about ten minutes ago, from afar, and tap my kitsune powers to create an auditory glamour for the sound as well... DM has me roll bluff, natural 20 or whatever the roll is in BESM (It's been too long for me to remember, sadly...). The whole horde of soldiers turns and bolts immediately. Felt good, and I found out later that while I couldn't always hide my kitsune nature, I could wear a clay mask and manipulate it to make it look like it's talking, and just for the added irony, I bought a kitsune mask and never took it off after that. Still didn't talk much, but it was fun to make enemies think I was a human hiding behind a lie.
Tobbzn 26th Aug 2013, 2:58 PM edit delete reply
While more a con than a lie, I played a 4th edition Changeling Bard with a setup minmaxed for a very specific task.

When we finally were granted an audience with the king, in the highest tower of his enormous palace, I was allowed to shake his hand. One of my party members dropped a smoke cloud to blind everyone in the room, as I teleported the king out the window. The spell had the "Thunder" keyword, and combined with all the forced coughing from my party, nobody heard the king falling to his death. I then changed into his exact likeness, and "arrested" my party.
dale 27th Aug 2013, 5:08 PM venjorcarix edit delete reply
First time posting. Hi!

The closest thing to lying was when I was playing with my older brother and some local guys at a game day. Anyways, the story is that royalty has been kidnapped, might become a slave, stuff like that. so, we went down to the slave market with my character in disguise,(as I'm a sorcerer you see,) with the other three acting as bodyguards. we manage to fool the guards into thinking i'm a royal from another country and let us through. we keep up the act up until we get inside the slave shop, where the "secretary" for lack of better term, was working the books and not expecting anyone (the door was locked). He takes us down to the slave pits in order to "find the slave we're looking for." we get back into the office, and then we question him. And the part that I find funniest is the fact that my brother's character, who hates slavery, was seething with anger while keeping his cool.