Page 338 - Smarmony Returns, Part 3

17th Sep 2013, 6:00 AM in Intermission 3
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Smarmony Returns, Part 3
Average Rating: 5 (3 votes)
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Author Notes:

Newbiespud 17th Sep 2013, 6:00 AM edit delete
Author: Digo

Guest Author's Note: "A useful skill to have as a GM is improvising scenes. When I'm on the player's side of the screen, this skill serves me well to come up with desperate plans of survival. Unfortunately, my dice usually have other plans..."

Notice: Guest comic submissions are open! Guidelines here. Deadline: January 27th, 2023.



Zuche 17th Sep 2013, 6:09 AM edit delete reply
"I threw a rock at him!

"...It was a big rock."

Ack. Should have credited the line. Might as well make it a game, then. Who said it?

(I'll only note that there's a line of dialogue in between by another character, a line of the, "Moving on to other conversation with the rest of you," sort.)
Parchment Scroll 17th Sep 2013, 9:10 AM edit delete reply
That's it?! <I>That's</I> your "almost got him" Batman story?!
Sparx 17th Sep 2013, 6:17 AM edit delete reply
Killer Croc, Batman The Animated Series,

Though this is actually untrue as the character isn't what he seems in this episode, though spoilers exist for those that wish to watch the episode.
Zuche 17th Sep 2013, 6:43 AM edit delete reply
Full marks for answering correctly on several levels.
Digo 17th Sep 2013, 7:20 AM edit delete reply
I believe the episode title was "Almost Got Him", to help with the search. It is indeed a great episode.
Zuche 17th Sep 2013, 7:43 AM edit delete reply
You have the title correct, and it was a particularly fun episode.
Guest 18th Sep 2013, 2:34 AM edit delete reply
You forget that the reveal then reveals that the story was true.
FanOfMostEverything 17th Sep 2013, 6:46 AM edit delete reply
Tom is the most valuable party member, as we all knew.
MuffinMark 17th Sep 2013, 6:49 AM edit delete reply
Rock falls, everyone lives?
Crazy Tom 17th Sep 2013, 7:29 AM edit delete reply
Ahahahahahahaha. That was a good one. I need to remember that for my next campaign.
Thar 17th Sep 2013, 7:33 AM edit delete reply
Well, everyone but the dragon. But he was being a jerk, anyhow. Ate all the snacks. Nobody cares if he dies.
Grey Pennies 17th Sep 2013, 8:01 AM edit delete reply
The Dragon should learn to evade rocks. I mean really, it's not that hard...
Digo 17th Sep 2013, 8:25 AM edit delete reply
D&D dragons tend to have pretty medeocre DEX scores. ;)
Couchman 17th Sep 2013, 4:39 PM edit delete reply
Not in 4e. Dragons have Dex scores higher than the mediocre ones they did in 3.5.
Guest 17th Sep 2013, 7:48 PM edit delete reply
But considering the spell's 'Giant Growth' and 'Magic Weapon' I think this comic may be a 3.5 game session.
Digo 18th Sep 2013, 4:48 AM edit delete reply
I admit that I've never played 4e before.
Zuche 17th Sep 2013, 6:51 AM edit delete reply
Wait... there's a Thomas and a rhymer in this comic and they're not the same person?

Funny how the longer version of the name is used for the smaller rock. They're gonna rock a dragon's clock tonight...

I'm curious to know what rule system takes out a creature's Dex bonus to all enemies whenever its flanked by just two of them. I'm also curious to see what fiendish rule abomination Trixie is about to pull out of her hat, whether or no you'll pardon the expression.

Finally, Zecora is best Green Lantern, as well as a strong candidate for the position of best Yoda.
Digo 17th Sep 2013, 7:25 AM edit delete reply
I had played in an old edition of Earthdawn years back. From what I remember, you take penalties to your defense if you're flanked. The funny part comes in that my character was a boastful swordsman who prefered being flanked because that gave him "the widest selection of targets possible."

I suppose I could have said "grapple" to jive better with D&D rules. You're perfectly welcome to pretend that was the intention if it works better for you. :)
Zuche 17th Sep 2013, 7:41 AM edit delete reply
I just didn't think it was something made up and wondering what rule set used it. Thank you.
Freemage 17th Sep 2013, 7:56 AM edit delete reply
One of our oWoD group's players has developed something of a reputation when it comes to improvised weapons--at least two major villains have gone down because of randomly chucked objects--one was a rock, the other a gun that had run out of ammo.
Digo 17th Sep 2013, 8:28 AM edit delete reply
During a fight in the back room of a fast-food restaurant, I witnessed one player knock out an NPC with a frozen patty of meat.
Struck him right in the face with a critical hit.

Though I like the style of throwing a gun when its ammo runs out.
Joe the Rat 17th Sep 2013, 9:27 AM edit delete reply
Indeed. A thrown gun is actually *more* dangerous than the bullets. Superman will just stand there while getting shot, but ducks when you throw your gun at him.

I've got film to prove it.
Digo 17th Sep 2013, 10:04 AM edit delete reply
So to fight Superman, I should build a gun that fires guns?
CmndrHurricane 17th Sep 2013, 10:13 AM edit delete reply
Or just a fully-automatic cannon, that fires guns
Robin Bobcat 17th Sep 2013, 10:52 AM edit delete reply
What about a grenade launcher launcher?
Malroth 17th Sep 2013, 10:52 AM edit delete reply
Or a gun that fires guns that fire guns.
Guest 17th Sep 2013, 12:09 PM edit delete reply
Nonono, what you're looking for is the gun that shoots guns that shoot deep-fried beer. That stuff will make your organs fail if you look at it wrong.
Grey Pennies 17th Sep 2013, 4:40 PM edit delete reply
My favorite would be Raxons that fires turrets that fires rifles that fires lightlight sabers that fires Raxons.
Digo 17th Sep 2013, 5:02 PM edit delete reply
Now there's a weapon requiring some tech support to decipher.
Raxon 18th Sep 2013, 3:31 AM edit delete reply
Raxon happens to have a sword that shoots guns when you swing it, just like Link's sword with energy beams. He got the idea from watching the old Superman serials.
Digo 18th Sep 2013, 4:50 AM edit delete reply
Does he have a gun that swings swords when you shoot it? You know, for those "Gentlemen" duels.
Raxon 18th Sep 2013, 2:03 PM edit delete reply
No, but he has a lightsaber powered by a green lantern ring. That's like, a nuke powered sword right there.

That's as refined as you can get!
494alex 17th Sep 2013, 4:32 PM edit delete reply
Superman would hate Borderlands.
DanielLC 17th Sep 2013, 1:06 PM edit delete reply
There has been a gun that fired guns, and it was very powerful indeed. Specifically, it was artillery that fired a gun-type nuke. I'm pretty sure that's not enough to kill Superman, though.
Feotakahari 17th Sep 2013, 1:11 PM edit delete reply
But can he kill things with his mind?
Colin 17th Sep 2013, 3:59 PM edit delete reply
Something like this?:
Pathfinder 17th Sep 2013, 10:52 AM edit delete reply
This kind of situation are fun whether or not players succeed. When they put a lot of effort just to survive and they do, they are happy enough not to ask for tons of loot. And if they do, we can have much needed sometimes tragedy/drama on our session and chance to start over for some players.
BTW: are last two panels reference to "Moon is Harsh Mistress"?
Digo 17th Sep 2013, 11:16 AM edit delete reply
Nope, I can't say the last two panels referenced that since I had to Google "Moon is Harsh Mistress" just to know what we were talking about. :)
Tatsurou 17th Sep 2013, 11:01 AM edit delete reply
Trixie: You remember the cliché of 'Rocks fall, everypony dies?'
DM: ...yes?
Trixie: Rock falls, DRAGON DIES!
DM: Wait, HOW?
Trixie: See the next comic.
Jellybean 17th Sep 2013, 12:01 PM edit delete reply
This is a lengthy set-up to a 'Look out, here comes Tom' joke.
Raxon 17th Sep 2013, 2:43 PM edit delete reply
If that is all this is building up to, I will lost a lot of respect for Tom... I mean Digo.
Digo 17th Sep 2013, 5:03 PM edit delete reply
A seven page setup for just one joke? Come on, you know me better than that. I can get in at least *two* jokes with seven pages. ;)
Zuche 18th Sep 2013, 7:38 AM edit delete reply
I'm getting a real Statler and Waldorf vibe from this conversation.
Digo 19th Sep 2013, 4:59 AM edit delete reply
My brother and I can do a really good duo impersonation of those two characters. I'm usually Statler. One time my character was knocked out early during combat in a D&D game, so I sat with my bro (he was only watching the game) and we heckled the remaining fight.

The GM made us wait in the kitchen because he about to pee himself laughing.
Wynni 17th Sep 2013, 1:28 PM Old School DnD edit delete reply
My husband plays a bard, the "Crimson Cloak" who as incredible luck: not something in the rules, mind, just incredible dice luck~ and it only seems to work for when he plays 'those' characters. Case in point: crit striking the guard with a a mouth harp to save the party.
Guest 17th Sep 2013, 1:53 PM edit delete reply
this is actually a good plan, *squish*
ShadowDragon8685 17th Sep 2013, 4:48 PM edit delete reply
Look out... HERE COMES TOM!
Annonymous Joe 17th Sep 2013, 8:11 PM edit delete reply
I'm just sittin' here waiting to watch this go horribly wrong Thursday.
Limeylassen 17th Sep 2013, 10:04 PM edit delete reply
"Horrible death radius"
Heh, I got that reference.
ADemonicPresence 18th Sep 2013, 12:35 AM edit delete reply
i expect the rock to be thrown into the dragon's mouth, then giant growth'd for head asplode. or down it's throat for decapitation.
Digo 18th Sep 2013, 4:51 AM edit delete reply
I don't know what kind of RPGs you've been playing, but I want in on that. :D
Zuche 18th Sep 2013, 7:50 AM edit delete reply
I wouldn't. I've occasionally told players, "Yes, we could interpret the rules that way, but you are not going to like the results."
Digo 19th Sep 2013, 4:57 AM edit delete reply
That is usually how we play the game, whatever is "the least likely to parallel Texas Chainsaw Massacre with your face."

Just last session I noticed the players stopped throwing grenades around like candy in our Shadowrun game. I bet this is because I adhered to blast radius, pressure differential, and the fact that there is no "Evasion" for explosions.
a 18th Sep 2013, 5:30 PM a edit delete reply
Was Trixie talking to Redheart or Daring Do there?
Kira 18th Sep 2013, 8:53 PM Halfling edit delete reply
Reminds me of a halfling in our party once.

He would carry a bag of small rocks for him to throw at all times when questioned why he would respond "you will see" so later that game he calls out to the Druid (I think) "Grow this" and he tosses his rock (from a sling) at a giant we had been fighting. and you can see where I am going this this. the rock grows about 20 sizes brains the giant Ironically the players name was David. and the now dead giant was named on the spot to be goliath