Page 34 - Roleplayer's Remorse

25th Oct 2011, 6:00 AM in Friendship is Magic, Part 1
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Roleplayer's Remorse
Average Rating: 3.5 (2 votes)
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Author Notes:

Newbiespud 25th Oct 2011, 6:00 AM edit delete
Players who make the most of their Diplomacy skill (known as "Diplomancers") tend to be very controlling when it comes to roleplaying. They choose their words with care and take NPCs very seriously. And heaven forbid your character might say something that wasn't meticulously thought-out.

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AstroTrain 25th Oct 2011, 6:09 AM edit delete reply
I have one of those in my current group. He always ends up almost dying because he tries to be diplomatic with chaotic evil were-rats.
Thud 25th Oct 2011, 7:27 AM edit delete reply
Were-rats are easy, pay in peanut butter, the little suckers will do anything for peanut butter.
AstroTrain 25th Oct 2011, 1:25 PM edit delete reply
Seems legit.
Kosine 25th Oct 2011, 6:42 AM edit delete reply
That was a brilliant one-liner/cliffhanger on RD's part. XD If you don't mind, I'mma add it to my personal repertoire.
Pinkie 3.14159265358979 25th Oct 2011, 9:23 AM edit delete reply
Mm. yes. That.

kriss1989 25th Oct 2011, 7:08 AM kriss1989 edit delete reply
The comments in the comic and in the comments themselves are a gold mine of great material.
Alcarin Kitsune 25th Oct 2011, 8:15 AM edit delete reply
I'm the Diplomancer of my party... And they are all munchkins. Which means endless arguments among our characters.
guy 13th May 2014, 9:43 PM edit delete reply
So you really DO represent the lollipop guild?
Vorzakk 25th Oct 2011, 9:08 AM edit delete reply
One of the earliest characters in my long-running sci-fi campaign was a highly skilled Diplomancer; not only in that the character had a slew of points in language and social skills in lieu of ANY combat abilities but also in that the player himself was incredibly charismatic, persuasive, and a well-spoken. He was a great character in his own right; but he often annoyed the more combat-hungry characters by defusing hostile situations before they broke down into violence.
Jorlem 25th Oct 2011, 9:54 AM edit delete reply
I'm betting that the letter is from Nightmare Moon, though that's a fairly easy call to make.
Dien 25th Oct 2011, 9:57 AM edit delete reply
I play a Diplomancer in my group, and I try to use my skill whenever possible.

But it's turned into a horrible thing.

Because for some reason, no matter I do, whoever I use diplomacy on dies. That guy I befriended? Killed himself saving my life. That Dwarf that was leading us around the dungeon? Spike trap'd.

The time where I joked and said "I use diplomacy on the cat? My DM ran with it and made the cat friendly. The cat later sniffed out a rogue that was waiting in ambush and got killed for exposing his position.

Everything I touch dies.
PikalaxALT 25th Oct 2011, 10:25 AM edit delete reply
You are the Grim Reaper. Each time someone dies at your hand, you regain d12 health. If it was a friend who died, gain an additional d8 health.

(Forgive me if I'm not well-versed in the language. This is a game I've never had the chance to play.)
ShikomeKidoMi 25th Oct 2011, 12:10 PM edit delete reply
Huh. Are you sure you aren't playing a Dark Corners of the Earth walkthrough instead of D&D?
Or just any Call of Cthulhu product, really.
kriss1989 25th Oct 2011, 3:00 PM kriss1989 edit delete reply
*scoots away* Oh arch-enemy! Don't you want to give Dien a congratulatory hand touch?
Lockon 25th Oct 2011, 11:15 PM edit delete reply
hah. Fairly Oddparents reference!
T 26th Oct 2011, 7:23 AM edit delete reply
Them use diplomacy on your enemies!
McBehrer 26th Oct 2011, 1:18 PM edit delete reply
So, what you're saying is... You're Toki Wartooth?
Lyntermas 25th Oct 2011, 10:22 AM edit delete reply
As I see it, there are a few ways this could turn out.
1) Celestia still plays dumb, Team gets suspicious, thinks it's a conspiracy, etc.
2)Celestia doesn't reveal whole story, but tells Twilight she needs to find "five ponies with attitude" to fix any...problems that might arise.
Of course, at this point we can't actually say that the party will follow the Elements of Harmony quest as we expect them to.
Starcloud 25th Oct 2011, 12:59 PM edit delete reply
Celestia will probably say "We'll talk about it at the celebration." and then back to cartoon events.
Starcloud 25th Oct 2011, 12:59 PM edit delete reply
Celestia will probably say "We'll talk about it at the celebration." and then back to cartoon events.
kriss1989 25th Oct 2011, 3:03 PM kriss1989 edit delete reply
It sounds very reasonable, responsible, and lets things progress naturally. It can also show that Celestia is willing to listen to her student. If she STILL thinks something is going on, she's willing to hear her out.
Guest 19th May 2014, 3:49 AM edit delete reply
Was it your intention to make "five ponies with attitude" a shout out to mighty morphing power rangers?
Lyntermas 7th Oct 2014, 10:08 PM edit delete reply
Yes, it was! Good catch!
Moabite 25th Oct 2011, 10:32 AM edit delete reply
During a supers game, I once played an absurdly overpowered robot with inhuman strength, speed and a slew of weaponry that would make Gordon Freeman jealous. Frankly, I was shocked that the GM allowed the build at all.
Midway through the first session, I found out why. The primary antagonists turned out to be a bunch of intangible rogue AIs threatening the planet, and I just happened to have put a few points into digital empathy, so I ended up being the diplomat for talks. My 8-foot tall titanium goliath would stomp onto the battlefield, trailing ammunition belts like a robe, then declare: "There is no need to fight. We want to negotiate."
I think I fired a gun once during the entire campaign. My GM can be a sneaky bastard at times.
terrycloth 25th Oct 2011, 12:38 PM edit delete reply
What I hate is when people blurt out really stupid stuff in a conversation and then try to say that it was OOC. Or start discussing how to betray someone while in the middle of a conversation with them.

"Okay, so who is ACTUALLY talking and what do you ACTUALLY say?"

It's a *relief* when the barbarian gets bored and starts killing people.
Akouma 25th Oct 2011, 10:23 PM edit delete reply
I once had a similar experience. We got teleported to potentially-hostile territory by the NPC that had told us where we needed to go (there was some line about why we couldn't get teleported directly but that's not important) and we find an obscure tribe of Dragonborn warriors patrolling the area. They demand an explanation of why we're on their land, on we tell the truth 100% and they're NOT mad about it. We offer to leave and find another way through their territory and while they're not going to help us they seem totally content to let us go. (Turns out they were working for the enemy, but didn't realize that we were the ones they were patrolling for.) When my character, the one playing diplomat at the time, outright says "Okay gang, time to leave," our barbarian freaks out over no combat. She rolls initiative, says she charges, and rolls an attack roll. It was the messiest, most aggravating fight we'd had since the start of the campaign and it could've been totally avoided. When we were justifiably angry at her after the session, she says she was "just walking up to them" which was an outright lie since she was yelling "I CHARGE" at the time. I now joke that my sessions which she's playing in I've given the NPCs life insurance policies after that debacle.
Draco Dei 27th Oct 2011, 5:03 PM Dragon OF God edit delete reply
Incidently, any character whose outfit consists mainly of ammo gets +1 to awesome-lookingness... I don't care if they are muffins for a muffin launcher and the character is otherwise dressed like anything from a green berret to a ballet dancer... obviously ammo related closthing grants the bonus (yes, actually I DO have a fairly detail knowledge of multiple system, I just know when to ignore it).
Ask me about the PrC I saw that demonstrates this principle if you want a link (not something I made).
Other Guest 25th Oct 2011, 12:38 PM edit delete reply
My faithful student Twilight - Rocks fall, everypony dies. - Signed, Celestia
Harashaw 25th Oct 2011, 1:37 PM edit delete reply
To my faithful student - Stick your hoof in the statue's mouth. It has free ice cream! - Celestia
Newbiespud 25th Oct 2011, 2:47 PM edit delete reply
Welp, now I have a mental image of the mane six running through the Tomb of Horrors.

Thanks for that.
McBehrer 26th Oct 2011, 1:21 PM edit delete reply
My Faithful Student,

On a COMPLETELY unrelated note, I found this great tiara for you. You should try it on for a bit.
TheDoomBug 25th Oct 2011, 2:31 PM edit delete reply
Twilight Sparkle, come on down! You're the next contestant on <i>Super Scrolls!</i>
Azureink 25th Oct 2011, 4:33 PM edit delete reply
I would like to chime in here and say that only recently I came to the insane conclusion that Newbiespud, the author, has struck a literal gold mine in not following the show's scenes to the letter. Now the author can go in any order of episodes and/or put any part of any episode together to make a fully unique experience. Bravo. I look forward to it.
leafia6 25th Oct 2011, 5:58 PM edit delete reply
I don't suppose there's a "_"-mancer for someone who likes getting laid in D&D, is there?
Grrys 25th Oct 2011, 8:22 PM edit delete reply
Actually, someone in my Pathfinder group came up with a term for that.

They call themselves a sexomancer.
Nedzach 25th Oct 2011, 8:47 PM edit delete reply
Actually... there is! Ever heard of 'The Book of "Erotic" Fantasy'? You'll find your "_"-mancer there.

Oh buck... I sure hope I'm not being vulgar using the word "Erotic"...
Classic Steve 26th Oct 2011, 6:16 AM edit delete reply
A romancer?
ShadyFox 26th Oct 2011, 2:19 PM edit delete reply
I bring you, The Pornomancer.
YA! 25th Oct 2011, 6:28 PM edit delete reply
This comic is REALLY funny! Please continue it, I really want to see more!
GuestM 25th Oct 2011, 8:17 PM edit delete reply
Now I am curious if Newbiespud is a Josser or not^^

To be honest, I don´t see how pretty much any episode could be implemented before the Nightmare Moon plot is concluded(Because of Eternal Night™ and everything else happens during day)

Btw I love this comicso far.
Lyntermas 25th Oct 2011, 9:53 PM edit delete reply
A couple scenes stand out: the cockatrice, the green dragon, and the ursa minor. The ursa minor could be encountered right after NN's appearance, and the cockatrice could be found midway in the Everfree forest. The green dragon would require Spike to come with, though, and I don't see that happening.

Still, the suspense of whether or not the story will follow "the script" is quite interesting.
Lockon 25th Oct 2011, 11:22 PM edit delete reply
ah, i think you forgot something. the entirety of Luna Eclipsed happens at night. and as an added bonus, Luna uses magic to disguise as NMM at some point. so, yeah. there is that. and! im not even done yet! ..and! Dash's costume in Luna Eclipsed was a Shadowbolt! considering the Shadowbolt stuff in episode 2 with dash's loyalty test, you could easily have that whole bit change where she takes the offer!...and then does a face-hoof-turn. ie, go good again.
Azureink 26th Oct 2011, 12:42 PM edit delete reply
I was actually thinking that same thing.

That and you can have Luna appear before Luna Eclipsed in any nighttime scene after NMM is defeated.
Tony 26th Oct 2011, 9:27 PM edit delete reply
Don't forget Zecora. Mysterious hermit-enchantress living in the woods. Classic.

Or the Poison Joke...
DeadManSleeping 26th Oct 2011, 5:47 AM edit delete reply
I play my group's diplomancer. However, I tend to avoid trying to control what they say or do. It would be a fruitless effort anyway, so I just make the most of what I have.
Cliff Snowpeak 27th Oct 2011, 1:25 AM edit delete reply
My group's diplomancer is our Lawful Evil drow who is a sorcerer/fighter and has a very, very sharp sword. His usual strategy is try diplomacy first. If that doesn't work, try intimidation. So far, it seems to be working.
Ranubis 27th Oct 2011, 5:40 AM edit delete reply
Oh, wow. I guess I'm the diplomancer of my group, especially after last night.

I play a Lawful Good dwarf paladin, who has the highest diplomacy of the group. Last encounter, we raided a bandit lair, and I volunteered to go ahead and try to talk to the bandits, at least to give my team time to set up for a charge from outside the room.

Problem was, I was actually convincing the DM with my points, and he had the bandits agreeing with me. Since I was putting their precious XP in danger, the ranger of our group decided to 'fire a warning shot'. Our Mage spots her, tries to stop the arrow with Mage Hand, the arrow kills a bandit, and negotiation ends with me in a room surrounded by angry bandits shouting about betrayal.

Note to self: Team is not to 'rescue' the paladin in the middle of parlay if there is no screaming or explosions.
edised 20th May 2014, 6:09 PM edit delete reply
i had some thing simaler happen, hint it a bad idea to attack a arc npc when first meeting them.

the pc where in the under-dark when the ranger scout ran in to a drow caravan and was spotted. he was surprised when the leader of the guard said hello in elvish and then started to talk like a 5 year old on suger. being friendly and ofering to take her home becuse their "frends" now. the ranger realizes thise drow is really diffrent the pc barbarian decided to "recuse" the ranger, he got curb stomped, and the rest of the party was apprehended. funny thing was the ranger was the only one not in chains because nikkebez (the guard captain) think of her as a friend now, but the rest of the guard was keeping a eye on her. thay found out that Nikkebez is a noble and arm master (and prodagy in fighting) in the weirdest house of the under-dark: with a atheist mother who acts like a CEO caring for money and power, a pristtess oldist sister who acts like a normal drow but has no real power over anyone but her acolytes and hates evaryone, a psionic sister who is a hidoist and likes to spreed "love", a assasin brother with the personalty of hanabul lector with a artistic flar, a magi sister who acts like a gold elf and master of light.
thay are now slaves to the house, except the ranger.
Norad2 6th Apr 2016, 10:07 PM Norad2 edit delete reply
I am entirely guilty of being a diplomancer.