Page 342 - Smarmony Returns, Part 7

26th Sep 2013, 6:00 AM in Intermission 3
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Smarmony Returns, Part 7
Average Rating: 5 (3 votes)
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Author Notes:

Newbiespud 26th Sep 2013, 6:00 AM edit delete
Author: Digo

Guest Author's Note: "There's always that one player at the table who either doesn't pay attention to the little details of the plan, or doesn't care about the details. Of the two types at my table, apathy strangely ends in a fire twice as often as ignorance."

Newbiespud's Note: Have some optional viewing material.

Notice: Guest comic submissions are open! Guidelines here. Deadline: January 27th, 2023.



TheStratovarian 26th Sep 2013, 6:01 AM edit delete reply
Hahah! All that work, and the one guy who isn't thinking gets a wake up lesson of a really important memory upgrade.
Dragonflight 26th Sep 2013, 6:10 AM edit delete reply
In my games, it's not unusual for someone to suddenly take on the Herculean task of reversing the damage. Usually what I do is make that person their DNPC from that moment onward. If saving them is so important to them, the child becomes their constant reminder to look before they leap.
Zuche 26th Sep 2013, 6:21 AM edit delete reply
Dragonflight, I have every faith that you've just made an insightful and valuable observation worth considering for my own games. I just don't understand it. You're communicating it clearly, but I'm somehow missing a connection. Would you please rephrase the observation, and perhaps include an example? I don't want to miss this opportunity.
DracoS 26th Sep 2013, 6:53 AM edit delete reply
I think he means, if someone is interested in trying to not be Zecora anymore, they have to do a permanent escort mission.
Jannard 26th Sep 2013, 9:35 AM edit delete reply
If that's the case, you should have seen what happened when our archetype chaotic neutral rogue was saddled with the responsability of taking care of a little girl. A few sessions later the player had already transformed him into the most nuanced and interesting character, acting chaotic neutral in some cases (when the girl was not around), chaotic good to neutral good in others (to set a good example), and downright violent of it meant saving her from harm. ANY harm. Since the girl had potent magic in her (she was a bizarre elemental hybrid experiment), she was usually the target of enemies, or the targe of some convoluted plan of ours, which usually meant invoking the wrath of her adoptive father on either the enemy, or ourselves.
graygriffon 30th Sep 2013, 6:02 PM edit delete reply
this, this was amazing! thank you for sharing!
Azzie 26th Sep 2013, 9:15 PM edit delete reply
No, what he is saying is that when someone makes a mistake, they deserve a constant reminder for the rest of their character's existence of that fact. Or at least until they logically buy off the DNPC's disad cost.
Giggle Tail 26th Sep 2013, 11:12 AM edit delete reply
Giggle Tail
You know, I actually remember something kind of like this from my group's first campaign.

At one point the DM had an air elemental NPC join our group. Before one night's session (and before the others got there), the DM told me that the main reason he had the air elemental join us was to give the jerk of our group someone to actually care about. I guess he thought it would do him some good to feel some true emotion or something.

Anyway, things didn't exactly work out that way. He didn't really end up with any "emotional" attachment to the air elemental, despite the DM's best efforts.
Digo 26th Sep 2013, 12:34 PM edit delete reply
So you could say that his efforts were just... dust in the wind.
MumaKirby 26th Sep 2013, 9:33 PM edit delete reply
*has DNDPTSD when it comes to elementals.*

*save against panic attack*


AAAAAh. Stupid Paladin! Make them stop! Make them stop! Oh god! It's grappling the Wizard that thought he could escape air elementals by flying up on top of a jagged spire! It's... It's throwing him the whole way down! Ahhhhhhhhhhh!
Zuche 26th Sep 2013, 6:12 AM edit delete reply
Y'know...I don't consider that spell cheese. In effect, it's Schmendrick's solution from The Last Unicorn.

A shame about how it turns out here. I can't find it funny, which is oddly why I consider it good comedy. It's too true to life, too true to laugh.

Great use of expressions and perspective. Good tale too.
TheStratovarian 26th Sep 2013, 6:16 AM edit delete reply
A rare kind example of this spell, and given its a dual save spell, yeah, its not. Fort saves are what 90% of critters have as a good save overall for what the average party runs into.
Digo 26th Sep 2013, 6:21 AM edit delete reply it's funny because it's not funny? Interesting, I never thought of it that way.

The use of the spell was rather brilliant more so than just cheesy, but in general I find the Polymorph family of spells the easiest thing to abuse. As a DM, polymorph spells have been the one true thorn in my side. :)
More than higher level spells like Wish and Disjunction. Maybe my group is just odd.

Also, this is why I loath the standard Druid wildshape ability and have replaced with the the PHB2's alternate ability. Every druid PC seems to want to be an armored purple celestial gorilla.
TheStratovarian 26th Sep 2013, 6:32 AM edit delete reply
Given you have them by 15 able to access dragons and have breath weapons with druid magic. Large Dragon+Full caster is a painful combo for everyone not on your party, especially with the red/gold dragons.

As for the gorilla, thats an easy fix, force them to take and sink precious feats as its "Not a creature of the prime material plane." Or worse, make them take a prc that penalizes their casting and bab for that.
Zuche 26th Sep 2013, 6:46 AM edit delete reply
Yes, I have confused the point. Pardon me. The polymorph/wildshape line of powers and spells were fromagery (frodruidry?) at its worse, so it was good to see a spell reasonably used to handle an unreasonable dilemma.

Comedy isn't always about being funny. The incongruity can make people laugh, but making them think counts as a win too.

It can also help explain why so many humorists accused of growing bitter or angry in their later years.
TheStratovarian 26th Sep 2013, 6:51 AM edit delete reply
We need more good folks like carlin, whom blended humor in ways that it brought out a smile somewhere along the line, no matter if was morbid. It was witty and clever. Still is, even now.
Zuche 26th Sep 2013, 7:00 AM edit delete reply
Carlin is a good example. He wasn't anywhere near as bitter and angry as people made him out to be near the end of his career. I think a lot of people weren't comfortable about winding up in his target range, not realizing that we'd always all been fair game for him.
Digo 26th Sep 2013, 7:18 AM edit delete reply
Carlin is a good example. What bitterness he added in his later humor was still quite entertaining because I could relate so well even though I'm not really that bitter at all.

"Matured" more like it. XD
ayone esle 26th Sep 2013, 7:02 AM edit delete reply
Fromagerie? Cheese store!
Digo 26th Sep 2013, 6:15 AM edit delete reply
Two game moments where a player wasn't paying attention. Oddly, both were in a Super Heros campaign--

1. The team is awoken from the hotel they're staying at that there's two old guys arguing outside. The GM spells out that one of the old men is Magneto. The team's firearms expert (not paying attention) runs outside with his very much metallic uzi, firing upon Magneto.

It went about as well as you'd expect.

2. The team was driving on the Autobahn when Lobo ambushed us with an improvised rocket launcher. Because it was a makeshift weapon, there was a 1 round delay before it fired. This allowed us one action before we got hit. My character noticed the rocket was being fired from the left shoulder of the road. The team brawler (not paying attention) grabs the wheel from the driver and runs the car off the road. On the left. Right into the rocket.

It went about as well as you'd expect.
TheStratovarian 26th Sep 2013, 6:19 AM edit delete reply
Super hero's and brains tend not to be a common pairing, especially amongst flying bricks. Its usually the normal types that the intelligence to duck, cover, and fight cautiously.
Digo 26th Sep 2013, 6:24 AM edit delete reply
My character for the above campaign was a small ignorant dragon with a minor shapeshifting ability to turn into small pet-type animals. Somehow despite my handicap with technology, math, and even literacy, I was one of only two characters that survived to the end.

Everyone else had at least one PC death.
TheStratovarian 26th Sep 2013, 6:34 AM edit delete reply
You are the comic relief! No one will dare touch the comic relief, thats asking the dice to kill you. Heck, even the bbeg will take pity on them. The dice are a powerful force, and no one that games fears them more angry, for they will fumble everything for you.
Digo 26th Sep 2013, 7:19 AM edit delete reply
OMG, you described my dragon perfectly! :D
Zuche 26th Sep 2013, 6:31 AM edit delete reply
"It went about as well as you'd expect."

You mean... Magneto turned the gun and bullets into a frying pan and promptly made a breakfast of eggs and bacon for your team? And the brawler let go of the wheel in time to grab the rocket, letting the car surge forward in response to the increased thrust?

Sorry, but the only Marvel title I've read in the past few years is Peter David's recently concluded run on X-Factor, which has played havoc on my expectations with super-heroes. As for how it went down with Lobo, let's just blame it on a recent viewing of The Adventures of Baron Munchausen.
Digo 26th Sep 2013, 7:23 AM edit delete reply
LOL, if ONLY Magneto was that kind to us. The mutant leader took the gunslinger's uzi, warped it into a long rod, and then beat the gunslinger over the head with it.
Ref 26th Sep 2013, 6:53 AM Oh boy edit delete reply
You're making it really hard for me to defend Zecora as best pony.
Zuche 26th Sep 2013, 7:02 AM edit delete reply
Just remember that Digo's continuity is not best continuity consistent with this comic's canon, let alone the show's.
you know that guy 26th Sep 2013, 7:09 AM edit delete reply
Ah, unforgotten realms.
Crazy Tom 26th Sep 2013, 7:10 AM edit delete reply
There was one time I was DMing for my local group and they were in an ancient temple looking for an artifact a la Indiana Jones. They get to the relic which is sitting on a pedestal, and the perception monkey spots a pressure plate underneath the artifact which will trigger a trap (the wizard identifies the trap as a circle of death spell). So, the rogue does the classic sandbag swap and barely succeeds. Now with the relic in hand, the rest of the PCs approach the altar to get a better look at it.

Well, one of our guys hadn't been paying attention to any of the goings-on, and when he found out about the rogue's sandbag, he decided to take action. Since the guy (who was an inquisitor) didn't like the rogue and wanted to spite him, the inquisitor slapped the sandbag off of the altar because he wanted to spill the rogue's sand all over the floor.

Well, we all just sat there for a moment while he looks all smug. After a minute or two, he finally says "what?"

Then I roll for the circle of death and get maximum on the dice. Everyone dies.
Digo 26th Sep 2013, 7:25 AM edit delete reply
Ouch. :)
guest 26th Sep 2013, 10:34 PM edit delete reply
I can just see it, the charicters standing around the alter looking at the guy, then the guy just goes "what?", and they all die XD
ShadowDragon8685 26th Sep 2013, 7:49 AM edit delete reply

If Trixie were attacking Zecora, she should have said "I CAST HOOF!"

She said "FIST!"

Ergo, Trixie's PLAYER is attacking someone at the table...

I hope it's the DM. He richly deserves it, far more than Zecora, who clearly thought it was over and done with already.
you know that guy 26th Sep 2013, 9:24 AM edit delete reply
I think it's a reference to "I cast flare!" where flare is a cantrip.
FeralSolaris 26th Sep 2013, 9:57 AM edit delete reply
There's another traditional gaming meme based off a simple comic in which a bald, buff-looking man is introduced as a wizard and asked to cast a spell.

He responds by casting Fist.

The next panel is a mushroom cloud.
FanOfMostEverything 26th Sep 2013, 5:40 PM edit delete reply
I've actually written up an archetype for muscle wizards in Pathfinder. They get Improved Unarmed Strike instead of Scribe Scroll, among other things.
Digo 26th Sep 2013, 10:09 AM edit delete reply
Yeah, that was the basic jist of what I wanted to convey. :) But I do agree that the GM deserves a far more painful... um, pain.
Raxon 26th Sep 2013, 11:39 AM edit delete reply
That has given me an idea for the best wizard. He is the best wizard because he is a barbarian with 6 int.

"I cast punch!"
"I cast kick!"
"I cast nudity!"
"I cast fire!"
"I cast sword!"

Oh yeah, that could be tons of fun!
Tatsurou 26th Sep 2013, 12:18 PM edit delete reply
As long as that's a female barbarian, I'm perfectly fine with "I cast nudity!"

Then again, there's an idea for a superhero character. His special ability is to make things happen, but he thinks he's a wizard and does it by spell casting. He's also a bit of an idiot.

He manages just fine...until he casts "nudity" on (insert your choice of top heavy heroine here [seriously, I want to know your choices]). Then he dies painfully.
Raxon 26th Sep 2013, 12:46 PM edit delete reply
Well, immediately after "I cast nudity!" Then comes "I cast bathtime!" and "I cast rubber ducky!" And then he sings the magic rubber ducky song, and when he's done, he's clean again. It must be a magical incantation.

But he has learned that a magic wand is required, or the cleaning spell won't work.
The Ponytrician 26th Sep 2013, 5:45 PM edit delete reply
I was in a game with a player who once did something very much like that...

DM: "Ok PC, it's your turn - what do you do?"

PC: "I cast 'Shaft of Pain' at the hobgoblin."

DM: *looking very confused, as PC is playing a non-caster* "... what?"

PC: "Spell focus: bow. Material component: arrow. Somatic component: *makes nocking-and-drawing motion*. Verbal component: 'Eat this!'."
ShadowDragon8685 26th Sep 2013, 9:03 PM edit delete reply
The best "I CAST <Mundane Thing>" actually comes from Assassin's Creed 2/Brotherhood/Revelations.

Get Ezio's hands on a big 2h melee weapon, lock onto someone, hold the melee attack button. Release. Profit.

"Ezio Auditore da Firenze casts AXE! It's SUPER EFFECTIVE!"
TheDoomBug 27th Sep 2013, 12:01 PM edit delete reply
"I cast you- off the cliff!"

It is not wise to mock a sorceress' tail.
MumaKirby 26th Sep 2013, 9:39 PM edit delete reply
This makes me smile. A massive barbarian that everyone was too afraid of/felt sorry for to tell s/he wasn't actually a wizard.
Raxon 26th Sep 2013, 11:22 PM edit delete reply
"I cast seduction." Barbarian drops his pants.

DM: Oh my goodness! Roll to prevent swooning!


Female druid: "Umm... I run for my life in fear, because I've, uh, never seen anything so enormous in all my life."

DM: Well, you failed your throw, but I'm going to allow it.
VTek41 27th Sep 2013, 6:20 PM edit delete reply
Kaze Koichi 26th Sep 2013, 1:54 PM edit delete reply
This started with a pizza, right? They should make GM a toilet pizza for next session.
Kira 26th Sep 2013, 6:25 PM THeSpoonyExperiment edit delete reply
WayraHyena 26th Sep 2013, 8:21 AM edit delete reply
I consider myself a forgiving GM. I try to run my games fairly and be forgiving of honest mistakes. Normally I give players an option to undo especially stupid moves when their character would know better, or if they are in some way acting OOC and just didn't pay attention. They are honest mistakes. However... there are some stupids that a redo can't quite fix. There are some things that I can't quite forgive. Sometimes a player or character just has to learn.

Like deciding that instead of using innate electrical touch powers to shock something that has the character's throat in its mouth (what to you suppose direct electricity would do shot down a beasty's throat?), one of my players decided it would be much smarter to try to hit it with a blender.
Or instead of listening to the five different NPCs that said that the ghost was insanely dangerous and if he goes near them then he and everyone around him will become haunted, just going to talk to it anyways on the hunch that it MIGHT be able to help with something.
Or threatening a known, seriously overpowered assassin with revenge.
Or telling the leader of the only safe refugee camp for the next, oh, one thousand miles if I'm being generous (in front of her enforcer/protector) off in rather explicit language after rudely interrupting her very important speech with an inane idea.
Or making the only qualified doctor in the whole of said refugee camp so mad that he refuses to see him anymore (not an easy task, I assure you).
Or after direct orders to NOT activate a prototype powerup machine from the local techmaster who says that it is far too dangerous (and still damaged), choosing to activate it anyways, knowing full well something should go horribly wrong.

Honest mistakes I forgive quite readily. Your characters are likely going to be paying a lot more attention that you are to the extremely dire situation, so missing things and needing repeats are all understandable.

Oh, also, when I read "I cast FIST" I was reminded of Might and Magic 8 and the spell Flying Fist (I think that was the spell name at least), and I heard the sound clip for that spell in my head.
Hariman 26th Sep 2013, 8:30 AM edit delete reply
Hah! I once saved Keoland (in Living Greyhawk, the RPGA campaign) by not paying attention.

Some explanation first:
1: Officially: "There's no undead in Keoland." The higher ups won't admit it, and it's a running gag to players.

2: An Interactive is a massive event at a gaming convention that includes multiple tables of gamers, often into dozens of tables and LOTS of gamers. They are one time events that have a lasting effect on the direction of the campaign and vary from Formal Balls to City Spanning Battle For a Kingdom.

The interactive I was in was The Battle For Keoland, with the Archmage Rary leading his forces and allies of undead and other assorted evil people and creatures to conquer the kingdom.

All the little battles and skirmishes are happening all at once, from little low level battles to supply raids and even to the Archmage Rary himself moving through a zone of the battlefield.

Another team of adventurers managed to take Rary out through creative use of a Wall of Force, an Antimagic Field, and several fighters and barbarians with big weapons.

ALL the parties, though, have trouble with one encounter. A gargantuan undead worm that vomits up a pair of undead dragons, and then breathes Constitution damaging gunk. It's a fight few parties could win, at best. It's unbeatable by any party the Interactive had, at worst.

During all these events, there is an old man wandering the battlefields, untouched, who approaches each party, and states, as fact: "There's no undead in Keoland.", and asking the party to agree with him.

All the other parties had at least one person who argued. All the other parties annoyed the man, and he walked away.

When he came to my table, I wasn't paying attention. I would have been ironic, or possibly sarcastic about it. But, by inattention at an opportune moment, I didn't.

So the old man gives us a kazoo.

The Kazoo turns out to be an artifact that, if played in the presence of the undead, controls the undead.

Hence, there's a solution for the giant ridiculous con damaging undead worm and its undead dragon friends.

All because I had my nose in a rulebook and wasn't listening at the right time.

Eventually, the day is won, and the good guys save the city. Well, okay, it's not all that well off as the new guys in charge are jerks who are going to turn the city into a police state eventually, but at least it's not controlled by outright evil. Yet.

Still, it beats mouthing off and costing the Kingdom its capital.

Oh, and only Zecora should get an alignment hit. Reputation hits though, are another matter.
Philadelphus 26th Sep 2013, 10:07 AM edit delete reply
Ha! That's a great story.
hariman 26th Sep 2013, 10:10 PM edit delete reply
It was one hell of an event. There were more stories than that just at my table, and I know there were more at other tables.

Although... a little hint that I confirmed at that event: In 3.5 D&D, Wall of Ice is a GREAT spell for a sorcerer. It's more useful than a LOT of other spells, if used right. ;D
Digo 26th Sep 2013, 10:12 AM edit delete reply
A kazoo of undead control? That's different... :)
hariman 26th Sep 2013, 10:11 PM edit delete reply
Oh, that kazoo was pretty funny. To actually use it in game, the player of the character using it had to actually play a kazoo.

The only mod that surpassed having to play a kazoo to use an item was the mod that required someone sing to search for a skeletal dog name Boney.
Zena 28th Sep 2013, 6:30 PM edit delete reply
Let me guess. Upon Boney being found, it sang, "I'm Boney, I'm Boney, leave me alone-y!" and promptly hid again?
hariman 1st Oct 2013, 7:59 AM edit delete reply

Actually, it acted like a dog, and we took it back to its ghost owner so we could get through a labyrinth built into the Lord's Tomb in Greyhawk.

The mod in question is Desecrators of the Lord's Tomb, from Living Greyhawk, and it's STILL my favorite mod from Living Greyhawk.
Tatsurou 26th Sep 2013, 11:43 AM edit delete reply
A moment of rules lawyering.
Based only on what appears in the comic, Zecora never actually said "I break the Phylactery". She said "Looks like we can", but she said it out of character (since she didn't rhyme). One could argue, then, that she never actually took the action to do so, only put the option on the table for discussion. Unless she rolled a dice for it (which, given how quickly the DM jumped to "Dead" is unlikely), one could argue that she hadn't actually taken the action, and the DM jumped the gun.
Digo 26th Sep 2013, 12:36 PM edit delete reply
Well, the word "Victory" is a close rhyme to "phylactery", could be where the miscommunication is? :)
Callid 26th Sep 2013, 4:57 PM edit delete reply
Ironically, this solution is actually even *better* for the party than casting the spell!
After all, the reason they couldn't break the phylactery was because of the alignment hit they'd get from killing Twilight. Well, everyone but Zecora clearly shouldn't get that, because they did not agree with Zecora's plan anyway, they had a different one in mind, so, no alignment change. But even Zecora herself shouldn't get an alignment hit, because she (erroneously) thought that destroying the phylactery at that point would NOT kill Twilight, therefore, Twilight dying was never part of her plan (and had she known that it would kill her, she wouldn't have proceeded). Therefore, it doesn't really mean an alignment hit for her either, because Twilight's death was an unforeseen accident.
Now, why is this way better? Easy - they saved the scroll!
guest 26th Sep 2013, 10:48 PM edit delete reply
all this is true, but you need to remember that the GM is being a spiteful jerk
The 11th Doctor 28th Sep 2013, 11:38 AM edit delete reply
Well.while this is true,the fact that they have a DM like that means they shiuld really leave him behind.If he/she really wants to keep the group,don't make them mad.For all my group cared about one power DM,he could choke and die.The story goes like this:I made a an aristocrat variant,who specialized in talking people.He actually had an enchantment where he could talk people to death.Well,we fought a huge Demonic SUPER Dragon,who was the Bigger Bad.Well i started talking,with lots of enchantments and homebrewed spells to increase my bluff and diplomacy skills,as well as just common charisma.Long story short,the DM outright said "You fail horribly,he eats the party,and you are all dead forever".One of our players is a very,very,very good martial arts master.This DM was on the floor in pain for 3 months.3 months!Then he had no group.and is sitting in has dorm.No group.
Kynrasian 26th Sep 2013, 8:15 PM edit delete reply
We've had some stuff like that before

A man spoke to me on the way to a king's feast, warning me that the king was in danger and I began setting about trying to get the king to safety. My plan was fairly simple:

-Warn the king
-Cast invisibility on him
-Take him to where my mysterious helper was waiting
-Kill him if he seemed too insistent that I show him the king

Now, at no point did we RP my character telling the other characters about my plan, because the man who warned me said that if the wrong people found out, plans may be accelerated and knowing my co-DM i figured that basically meant if I said ANYTHING out loud in character implying that I knew then we'd have a boss encounter barge into the room, get a surprise round, and use its turn to target the king with a ranged attack. Dice don't usually get along with our plans.

Anyway, despite there being no way in-character that the rest of the party could know exactly what I was up to, I had managed to avoid saying WHY I was trying to get to speak to the king, and in-character or not, at this point the entire group should've been aware that what I'm looking for is the chance for a one-to-one conversation with the king.

So, being the helpful soul that he is, our dwarf fighter naturally challenges the king to a safe duel...

With no other options I went invisible myself and tried to keep an eye out for anything suspicious. All that really achieved was I managed to take three crossbow bolts in the back for him. My plan ruined, the king was very much still visible when we reached the man who spoke to me earlier.

Predictably, the man just wanted me to lure the king to him.
Evilbob 26th Sep 2013, 9:09 PM edit delete reply
LOL. The funny thing here is that they don't take an alignment hit (killing the kid was totally unintentional and an accident) AND Cadenza the lich dies without any dice rolling or things left to luck!

darkwulf23 27th Sep 2013, 8:07 AM edit delete reply
I believe Ron White said it best when he said "You can't fix stupid."
Ponikon 27th Sep 2013, 8:27 AM edit delete reply
Eeeexcept earth ponies technicalocratically do possess magic in some form.
*Sigh* 27th Sep 2013, 1:57 PM edit delete reply
Depends on how you define magic.
Malroth 27th Sep 2013, 10:11 PM edit delete reply
Spade McTrowel 27th Sep 2013, 8:27 AM Not so Hot edit delete reply
We had a pretty recent example of one person's inattention ruining everything in our Pathfinder game.

Our 15th level party was ambushed by a pretty nasty red dragon monk -- our DM has always given dragons classes no matter what edition we're playing.

The dragon was pre-buffed and we were in the middle of a long commute so we weren't prepared for an epic fight. The ranger was able to pop off a hail of dragon's bane arrows before the monk neutralized our cleric and our rogue and send our fighter to single digit HP. The wizard's turn would be critical decision in an Evac or to continue fighting. She did almost 200hp of damage to the dragon. However she tacked on at the end that she had used her metamagic to make the spell flame based, which of course red dragons are immune to.

The DM stared at her and asked if she was sure and she nodded. The DM then erased all of the damage done by her, and then fell into the role of the dragon which pantomimed taking a mortal hit and falling melodratically to the ground, and then popped back up winking and said to the wizard, "Gotcha".

Needless to say, we --as the players or the characters-- have yet to let her live this down. Now everytime we see something even vaguely draconic, we make sure that the wizard describes what it looks like ... especially it's color.
guest 27th Sep 2013, 1:25 PM edit delete reply
so how did you survive?
Spade McTrowel 27th Sep 2013, 1:49 PM edit delete reply
Oh, Someone had a magic item that could Evacuate us back to a specific point. We ended up using that.
Keairan 29th Sep 2013, 1:26 AM edit delete reply
I've always been of the opinion that immunity to fire is only immunity up to a certain point. If I was DMing, dropping the equivalent of molten tungsten on a red dragon would do reduced damage, but it would do damage.

Fire: If it's not doing any damage, you're clearly not using enough of it.
ShadowDragon8685 29th Sep 2013, 4:27 PM edit delete reply
I would've had the red dragon decide the group was clearly no threat with blasters that inattentive, and informed them which taverns in the area were hiring waitstaff, then flown off.
Zuifan 27th Sep 2013, 11:01 AM edit delete reply
Little known fact: Fist is actually the most powerful spell in the game. Ever.
Zuche 27th Sep 2013, 11:11 AM edit delete reply
It's just not as chewy as Wayne Knight made it out to be.
Kaze Koichi 27th Sep 2013, 3:23 PM edit delete reply

Damn you for your link on the previous page! I ended up reading whole archive from the beginning to the present date.
Nene 30th Sep 2013, 7:09 AM edit delete reply
And thus, the GM wins and everyone takes alignment hits. Game-set-match.

Trixie's fatal mistake was forgetting that a GM always has one last secret weapon. What is this weapon? Quoting B.A. from KoDT: "The deadliest weapon in the GM's arsenal: THE PLAYER CHARACTER!"
RHJunior 25th May 2014, 5:54 PM edit delete reply
I woulda killed the DM barehanded by that point. Noone is obligated to roleplay with a buttmunch.