Page 344 - Mr. Welch for Ponies, Cont.

1st Oct 2013, 6:00 AM in Intermission 3
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Mr. Welch for Ponies, Cont.
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Author Notes:

Newbiespud 1st Oct 2013, 6:00 AM edit delete
Author: Zarhon

Guest Author's Note: "Now with more Spike, druids, and animals! This is why we can't have nice things.

For those of you in the comments: Post a story of a stunt, scheme, or performance that got you experienced, performed, or witnessed, that had to be banned, vetoed, or otherwise stopped to prevent a campaign collapse."

Notice: Guest comic submissions are open! Guidelines here. Deadline: January 27th, 2023.



Raxon 1st Oct 2013, 6:01 AM edit delete reply
Yes yes yes more of these. I demand more!

I would like to point out that exploding foliage already exists. It's found (where else) in Australia. It's called the eucalyptus.
gallowsCalibrator 1st Oct 2013, 8:25 AM edit delete reply
No we just need eucalyptus treants and we're all set.
The MunchKING 1st Oct 2013, 9:54 AM edit delete reply
The MunchKING
I prefer Xanthian cherries or pineapples.
Mordenheim 1st Oct 2013, 1:15 PM edit delete reply

A fellow Xanth reader! XD
Philadelphus 1st Oct 2013, 10:04 AM edit delete reply
Not just Australia; as someone who grew up inside a large stand of eucalyptus in California, I can tell you that eucalyptus are now found all over the world because they're popular trees that grow well just about anywhere that doesn't get snow.

The exploding thing, though, yeah; you definitely want to keep live trees away from fire because the amount of highly volatile oil they contain can cause them to simply explode.
Raxon 1st Oct 2013, 10:40 AM edit delete reply
And they burn hot enough that they'll set less volatile trees ablaze!

Note to self, check local laws about starting eucalyptus forests in the US.
Philadelphus 1st Oct 2013, 11:11 AM edit delete reply
Considering there are already tons of them scattered across California, including some that have aided and abetted some major fires (Oakland Firestorm of 1991), I don't think the laws are particularly stringent. Maybe in other states.
Ekevoo 3rd Oct 2013, 2:47 AM edit delete reply
I guess that explains why Eucalyptus honey is my favorite honey! :D
Darkseide 26th Aug 2019, 3:50 PM edit delete reply
California: Please stop setting us on Fire
Digo 1st Oct 2013, 12:38 PM edit delete reply
Note to self, create giant eucalyptus-eating koala mutant.
The Ponytrician 2nd Oct 2013, 6:28 PM edit delete reply
As a resident of <s>ThisLandWillKillYou</s> Australia, and a pedant, I feel the need to point out that "eucalyptus-eating koala" is a redundancy, as koala <i>only</i> eat eucalyptus.
Digo 3rd Oct 2013, 4:54 AM edit delete reply
Trust me, I've seen enough science fiction shows to know that if you don't specify what kind of horror you're building, then you're not going to get exactly what you want. :D

It's like the D&D Wish spell. Word it too vague and the DM will have fun at your expense. ;)
Pillow 1st Oct 2013, 12:44 PM edit delete reply
In my previous experience with being the DM of many "creative" players, I recommend that you disallow the writing of explosive runes on rocks, sticks, and butterflies. (Don't ask) Players tend to like using common items as weapons through magic. And, the reason I'm replying to this comment in particular is because of this one time.

Me: "You have no magic/magical means left. The fighters are down and you, the Druid, are the only one left against the giant." We happens to be standing in a forest biome. So what does she do? She askes, "What kind of trees are the ones around us?" I, respond with the first kind of tree I think of. Guess what? It was Eucalyptus. Receiving my answer, she lights the trees on fire and runs.
JSchunx 1st Oct 2013, 7:08 PM edit delete reply
How very druidic of her. I hope you followed up on that with a report to the local druids' circle, assuming it wasn't burned down.
Guest 3rd Oct 2013, 1:24 AM edit delete reply
I thought Eucalyptus was one of those trees that requires forest fires to continue its natural life cycle.

Forest Fires are Natural Too!
Draxynnic 3rd Oct 2013, 5:14 AM edit delete reply
Not sure about eucalyptus specifically, but there certainly are Australian plants that do.

More significantly, though, the oil that makes eucalyptus leaves burn faster is actually a defence mechanism against fire. The basic principle is that the expendable parts of the tree burn too quickly to ignite the more woody parts, so the tree survives and can regrow after the fire has passed. It's not perfect, of course, but eucalyptus forests do have a tendency to survive despite the intensity of the fires passing through.
Zarhon 2nd Oct 2013, 9:25 AM edit delete reply
Strip author here! These comments please me.

There's another explosive plant you missed: The Sandbox tree, which grows what are essentially shrapnel explosives for fruit/seeds. The tree itself is also covered in barbs/thorns and every bit of it is poisonous. It was even on Cracked!

Now imagine an army of sandbox treants.
Philadelphus 2nd Oct 2013, 10:15 AM edit delete reply
Well if we're discussing explosive plants in general now, don't forget the exploding cucumber.
NOTDilbert 2nd Oct 2013, 11:41 PM edit delete reply

...Okay, not very effective as a weapon, unless you can get someone to break a tooth on an unpopped kernel.
Digo 3rd Oct 2013, 4:56 AM edit delete reply
Annnnd the thread has done all the work for me on building my next deadly Shadowrun encounter. :D
flutters hi 10th Oct 2013, 9:49 PM flutters hi edit delete reply
sorry I'm late something happened with memory, but I have an idea for a possible campaign for anyone who wants a wierd one with lots'a Cave Story.

The Doctor is back and is now using a fusion of Sandbox trees and Devil Fowers to make Mimigmas to "fly into a wild rage" to use his own words. Now, Sandbox trees are considered closest to hell, and planting them could cause any of these 3 possibilities: 1)The Doctor, Misery, or Balrog comes and asks you if you will join them, if you say no, you have to fight whosoever came to ask, if you say yes however, instant evil allignment. 2) The main protaganinst of Cave Story appears and you must fight him. 3) Just instant evil allignment.
Digo 1st Oct 2013, 6:09 AM edit delete reply
Okay, obviously these rules don't understand the whole point of having minions. :)

I once played as Realm in an offshoot "Final Fantasy 6" campaign. For those not familair, Relm was an artist who's power was to paint a target and the painting would come to life and perform a special attack based on the target.

I tried to create an instant army by painting myself and abusing the action economy to get several "Relms" before the 1-round duration expired.
Was worth the ban just to crack up the party in giggle-fits.
you know that guy 1st Oct 2013, 6:22 AM edit delete reply
But surely the paintings would have been conjured NPCs of limited intelligence or versatility. Perhaps a painting of Realm would only be able to use one attack, and if that attack was in fact painting more of himself...
Digo 1st Oct 2013, 6:47 AM edit delete reply
Well the idea was that my "Special attack" is to paint a target. Thus if I painted myself, my painting would paint myself. Something of a recursive loop. The GM ruled that I cannot target myself with my own ability. :)
Feotakahari 1st Oct 2013, 7:59 AM edit delete reply
In the game, the rule seems to be that Relm's paintings are automatically hostile to the original. (Which kind of sucks when they attempt to attack a fire monster by setting it on fire . . .) The DM could easily have allowed it, then had all the copies gang up on you.
Digo 1st Oct 2013, 10:20 AM edit delete reply
True, but wouldn't the copy's copy be hostile to the copy and not me? ...whoa, that's a confusing thought.
JSchunx 1st Oct 2013, 7:12 PM edit delete reply
That reminds me of TES Oblivion on the PC. Using console commands, you could create exact copies of any character, including yourself. These copies would have all the same affiliations as the original character, ie: if your character belonged to the mages' guild, so would your copies.

This meant that they would immediately be on your side if you were attacked, but if you attacked one of your copies, all of your affiliations were revoked and they'd ALL attack you.

Needless to say, I had a great deal of fun spawning about 20 or so copies of myself and either attacking guards or just the copies themselves.
Jannard 1st Oct 2013, 8:15 PM edit delete reply
Actually, the copy would be hostile, but his action would be to attack you with your special attack, which would mean they would not paint themselves; they would paint you again. Which would mean ALL copies would be hostile to you, but they would all attack you with "paint", and therefore all you'd get would be a one-round army of painters.
Digo 3rd Oct 2013, 4:56 AM edit delete reply
Well, still useful for a distraction.
BadHorse 1st Oct 2013, 6:12 AM edit delete reply
I've told this story before, but my fellow PCs kidnapped & mind controlled me in order to force me to fulfill a minimum membership requirement.

...actually, that was not banned or vetoed in any way by the DM.

...but it was sort of vetoed by me when I a) nearly killed a PC, b) used verbal tricks to break free of the mind control, c) escaped and destroyed the team vehicle.

...then I d) saved the day, defeating the boss single-handed, and e) got thrown in super jail
JSchunx 1st Oct 2013, 7:14 PM edit delete reply
I've used geasa to enforce loyalty in evil characters, but not too often.

Usually the 3d6 damage per day isn't actually enough to enforce loyalty in higher level characters, oddly.
Antithesis 1st Oct 2013, 6:14 AM This didn't actually get vetoed, but got 4th edition banned in my group edit delete reply
My character was a red dragonborn barbarian with nat 18 strength, who we sent into a room we had set on fire in order to kill the encounter's boss. while I barbarian raged and smashy-smashed EVERYTHING, the others rained fiery death in the form of flaming arrows and fire spells into the room. Needless to say, the boss didn't stand a single lick of a chance and we went to the less broken 3.5e soon after.
Zuche 1st Oct 2013, 6:45 AM edit delete reply
The... less... broken... 3.5?

hariman 1st Oct 2013, 7:55 AM edit delete reply
If Antithesis is talking about a 4E campaign and switching back to 3.5, I understand what he means.

4E made it HARD for a DM to actually challenge the PCs and put them in danger without either lucky hits, or an excess of enemies. And the PCs attacks are a bit ridiculous if used right.

Granted, 3.5 D&D had some mean possibilities even with the most broken stuff removed, but 4E made it ridiculously easy to just win for the player.
Zuche 1st Oct 2013, 10:07 AM edit delete reply
It's actually very easy to challenge PCs by playing a dynamic game, where goals are time sensitive and every action provokes a reaction. It doesn't matter if you can overcome a 20 level difference in a combat encounter if you arrive too late to rescue the prince or preventing the city from sinking beneath the waves.

Those are failures that don't stop the story, where earlier editions could see you forced to pack up and head back to town because someone wound up on the bad end of a fight with giant rats.

The system for managing combat encounters is not binding on all levels of conflict. Overwhelming numbers of enemies are permitted as an option to be determined by a combination of player choice and skill challenge. You can choose to fight wave after wave without the benefit of a short rest, you can try to find the space for a short breather, or you can try to get clear of the danger as soon as possible -- or as soon as you've finished looting, with the risk that entails.

The system breaks down quickly in one shots and formulaic play where it's easy to predict exactly when you'll need to unload all of your daily powers and action points into a single foe. It's a lot tougher when you don't know when holding back against lightweights is going to cost you too much to press on.

I'll admit there's a lot of annoying stuff out there, but you'll find a lot of players would rather do without if satisfied that they won't need it to enjoy the game and keep it moving along.
Zuche 1st Oct 2013, 10:09 AM edit delete reply
That said, I apologize for the excess of my initial response.
Digo 1st Oct 2013, 10:22 AM edit delete reply
Frankly, I think there wasn't enough "Ha" in there. It was a brilliant snark.
hariman 2nd Oct 2013, 10:48 PM edit delete reply
True. Unfortunately, all I played was the one off Living Forgotten Realms mods. They were pretty bad in terms of dynamic encounters.

And if any battle lasted, it devolved to successive rounds of basic attack/at will abilities.
Zuche 3rd Oct 2013, 6:26 AM edit delete reply
I understand that frustration, as I was involved with LFR for awhile. The person organizing it eventually gave up when a player told her, "This is 4E; we don't roleplay here," in the middle of a game.

I also recall the time a DM set us up for a fight in which kobolds and gnomes were set to a contest of who could knock down the most of us. So I responded by picking a side, dropping prone in front of one of its members, and declaring I counted as one for them.

And the DM responded by having the members of that team concentrate their attacks on me.

So yeah, I know all too well how bad the system can be when either the players or the DM are inflexible. The current season of Encounters has been a major adjustment to a lot of my regulars on both sides of the table, at least in this neighbourhood.
you know that guy 1st Oct 2013, 6:17 AM edit delete reply
Dammit Spike. Actually, this has me wondering about how the writers think of Spike -- his mental age and his ponyity, especially compared with the CMC. Shouldn't he be attending school?
Digo 1st Oct 2013, 6:48 AM edit delete reply
I've assumed that Twilight home-schools him.
Wyvern 1st Oct 2013, 4:05 PM edit delete reply
Go to school? He already LIVES in the town library - and with the town nerd, who's got him working way past school hours. Plunking his scaly butt into a seat in Miss Cheerilee's class would only keep him from doing all of Twilight's gofer work at the library.
you know that guy 2nd Oct 2013, 4:22 AM edit delete reply
Yeah, but the real point of school is learning to socialize and get work done simultaneously. Being home-schooled doesn't teach you all the important things about life.

Also, if all of Spike's relationships are with people older and more mature than him, he's going to get an inferiority complex. Which he has.
Guest 5th Oct 2013, 12:39 PM edit delete reply
Never learned that in school myself. Mostly I learned that people will hurt you if you let them get too close on the social side of things. I honestly can't recommend the most popular forms of modern group education over home school to anyone who has a choice.

Home school teaches self directed and motivated learning (or can, depending on the parents and if they eschew curriculum) - one of the most vital life skills school does not teach. Issues with socialization can be corrected for by participating in a regular mixed-age activity, be it regular volunteering or joining an interest club. Preferably something where age matters less; again, a valuable life lesson.
Jet 1st Oct 2013, 6:18 AM edit delete reply
I think everyone will agree with this one.

"In any estabilished superhero universe (Marvel and DCU especially) the answer to your problem is never "call Avengers/JLA". If it is, you need to play a different game."

"...unless you play as said team. But then why the heck would you call yourselves?"
Digo 1st Oct 2013, 6:52 AM edit delete reply
My group was once the Teen Titans. They could call another team, but as the PCs were all teenaged supers, they were usually talked down to a lot by other established groups.

So... really out of self-pride they never called anyone. Too embarrasing. They did get to talk to Tony Stark once when they needed a custom part for their team vehicle.
Dragonflight 1st Oct 2013, 8:10 AM edit delete reply
I've been running an occasional "Invaders" game in the old Marvel Advanced rules. It's basically a B-grade villain team recruited by the CIA to conduct clandestine operations which the government doesn't want to be associated with publicly in other countries. In return for doing as they're told, they reduce their prison sentences.

They had a "thing" they used from the beginning. They lifted a stolen Quinjet their first assignment (a next of vampires in Europe) had purloined, and tinkered with it so that it couldn't be tracked by Stark. Then when they had retrieved the package they'd been sent to get (and *didn't* stop the vengeful vampire army,) they called the Avengers anonymously and told them of the existence of a powerful vampire cult terrorizing the European countryside.

It became their "thing". They'd go on a high-profile mission, do the minimum to accomplish the task, and when the bad guys were arming up and preparing to launch seven different kinds of Hell, the team would place an anonymous phone call to the Avengers and get *them* to deal with the problem.
Digo 1st Oct 2013, 10:24 AM edit delete reply
*laughs* I imagine they started screening their calls after that.
DracoS 1st Oct 2013, 6:47 AM edit delete reply
Are we talking about the Mane 6 or the Elements of Smarmony in this guest comic? =p
Digo 1st Oct 2013, 6:54 AM edit delete reply
Thank you DracoS, you made my morning.
Zarhon 2nd Oct 2013, 9:27 AM edit delete reply
Probably both! Or maybe the Cutie Mark Crusader's players.
Marioaddict 1st Oct 2013, 7:27 AM edit delete reply
I have only one thing I am not allowed to do:

I am not allowed to suggest that my time traveling Elven friend kill the elven village, thus creating a time paradox that destroys the universe.
Soletta 1st Oct 2013, 8:11 AM edit delete reply
This is less an over-powered PC story and more a dumbass PC story.

Game is Infernum, a d20 system based in Hell. By this point in this campaign, the PCs had enough contacts and influence to be mostly trading political favours rather than getting into fights. Because of this, we were invited to a social event hosting all the heirarchy of hell - all the major houses, very powerful demons etc. Cue epic plot on our part to successfully backstab at least three different houses without anything tracing back to us. This plan had layers.

Then problem. Not all the players could make sessions and the GM really wanted to run with all of us. This meant no sessions for a month. When we got back together we realised no one remembered the plan. Like at all.

So the session proceeds. Nothing much happens as we rack our brains for what we promised to do/not do in the previous session. Enter dumbass PC (even better, not the guy notorious for being the dumbass). Guy is playing a sorcerer specialising in hellfire. Guy is bored. Guy decides to stick a bead of hellfire inside a random party guest and expand it slowly to see what happens.

So naturally guest dies horribly. This happens to break the general amnesty at the party. Everyone there is now free to kill us with no repercussions.

Party was TPK'd so horribly that the GM finally just declared that the session hadn't happened and we began again at the start of the social.

Guy was banned from using his powers without confirmation from the party.
Siccarus 1st Oct 2013, 8:14 AM edit delete reply
Looking forward to: May not use wife as a Improvised throwing weapon without Consequences.
The MunchKING 1st Oct 2013, 9:56 AM edit delete reply
The MunchKING
Couchs for sleeping on?
Zuche 1st Oct 2013, 1:50 PM edit delete reply
Only after the couch has been successfully modified to double as a trebuchet.
Classic Steve 1st Oct 2013, 8:38 AM edit delete reply
This may be the funniest single FID entry I've seen!
Bronymous 1st Oct 2013, 9:18 AM edit delete reply
Shadow Walkers. Both settings, every session, every single plan, is prone to cause game derailment.

On the exact other hand, I, as new usurper of DM title in that game, came up with a puzzle in the form of an unnatural blizzard the the group had to get through. I came up with a few ways the party could manage it, and one of them, the simplest, was to simply burrow under it. I waited to see what solutions the party came up with, and sure enough, the burrowing hobo had the same idea. Seemed like problem solved, until someone else in the party helpfully pointed out that there was no ground beneath the blizzard, only ice atop a frozen lake. So the simplest plan was suddenly and completely accidentally shut down before it could commence, and the puzzle inadvertently went on to be a major challenge.
ionotter 1st Oct 2013, 10:16 AM Hmmm... edit delete reply
Somebody got ahold of the Skippy List...
Philadelphus 1st Oct 2013, 10:19 AM edit delete reply
Back when the Pony Tales system first came out, and some of the combat moves weren't as well balanced, my party got into what was meant to be a plot-unwinnable fight with what would turn out to be the Big Bad for the campaign in our second session.

Now, I'd taken a (much too) cheap Interrupt move that let me reflect damage, I think. So when the Big Bad was meant to end the fight by sending out a wave that knocked everyone unconscious so he could escape, one of the other party members pointed out that I could reflect it and somehow prevent it it from hitting everyone.

We weren't entirely clear on the details, but our GM allowed it, and it then turned out that I had taken another combat move that let me force an enemy to make an attack against a target of my choice. Since the Big Bad was the only enemy still standing, I was all set up for an infinite loop of forcing the Big Bad to attack himself, then reflecting any damage he did on his turn when he would try to attack. Theoretically, I could have kept doing it indefinitely until he dropped.

After one round, however, it sort of collectively dawned on us that this was going to be exceptionally boring (since we'd figured out that the fight was supposed to be unwinnable and had no idea how many HP the guy had), so we sort of reverse-rules-lawyered ourselves back to just before the knock-out wave hit us and let events take their intended course. And ultimately had a lot more fun doing so, I think.
Raxon 1st Oct 2013, 10:47 AM edit delete reply
I think I'm going to steal "This is The. Worst. Possible. Thing!" chaise lounge trick for Raxon's use. He says something overly dramatic, and a chaise lounge appears as he falls back, aaaaaaaand... He misses, and falls and hits his head on the floor.

For reference, I am not allowed to summon furniture in any game, since it has been ruled that safes, vaults, anvils, and solid stone furnishings count.
you know that guy 2nd Oct 2013, 4:30 AM edit delete reply
3.5 has a rule that you can't summon things in spaces where they aren't physically supported. Specifically to ban two common summoning tricks: summoning heavy objects in the air above someone else; and summoning whales in dungeons to block doors.
Raxon 2nd Oct 2013, 5:51 AM edit delete reply
But I could summon a heavy safe onto the floor above them, then aim a fireball at the ceiling.

Also, I am not allowed to summon things into other creatures. Geeze, you summon one pound of sodium into a dragon's skull and suddenly I'm the villain. How was I supposed to know it was a gold dragon? My character is colorblind!
Tatsurou 2nd Oct 2013, 9:45 AM edit delete reply
You can't summon whales? You can still 'Summon Bigger Fish' though, right?
gallowsCalibrator 2nd Oct 2013, 7:03 PM edit delete reply
Material Component: 1 Fish
Theo Vellum 1st Oct 2013, 11:04 AM edit delete reply
"Mr. Theo is no longer allowed to use Fireball. EVER."

This is not my fault mind you, I just get horribad rolls with fireball and it ends up hurting everyone. We once lost a campaign in one session due to my horribad luck.

Keep in mind my times for using fireball were all a good choice at the time, I still had horrible luck though. I'll leave this one up to your interpretation.
terrycloth 1st Oct 2013, 11:08 AM edit delete reply
Well, there was a module where we were supposed to infiltrate a city of drow and work our way up through the ranks until we could discover their secret plans and sabotage them.

Only, it wasn't framed that way, and our team had no social skills and a peak charisma of 8. So we murdered the plot-convenient guy who was supposed to sneak us into the city, invisibly levitated over the walls, and started basically running around as a stealth infiltration team.

The GM had to explain to us that this was a module and it didn't include anything that would let him run the sequence that way, and the information we were after wasn't stealable at any rate (since in the normal course of the plot we'd get it by talking to our boss). So we let him have us 'arrested' and rescued by the person we'd thought we'd killed, who was only faking because he was secretly a high-level spy instead of a 1 HD farmer.

...the module sucked ass, btw. Even playing it 'properly'. We had to spend hours making repetitive skill checks in skills we weren't trained in "and if you fail four in a row, you're executed".
Other Guest 1st Oct 2013, 11:32 AM edit delete reply
These are the rails and I shall follow them.
Skyheart 1st Oct 2013, 1:30 PM You want a list? Here you go. edit delete reply

This about says it all.
Digo 1st Oct 2013, 1:51 PM edit delete reply
Turning the campaign into a musical number sounds cool though.
Chris 1st Oct 2013, 1:53 PM edit delete reply
A plan that had to be banned, you say? Once I was playing an evil character (in an evil-aligned group), and was looking to pick up the leadership feat. One problem: I was still a level short, and we were leaving the city for an extended time, so I wouldn't have the opportunity to pick up a follower for a while.

My solution was to heavily advertise for a follower in town, telling the DM I wanted to interview several candidates and pick the class/race/personality I liked best. Despite being short the requirement, the DM was willing to indulge me this far, presumably thinking that I'd hire the character as a henchman or something for a short while before leveling up and using the feat on him/her. I got eight applicants, each a few levels below me and of one PC class or another, and gathered them at the interview site (an abandoned warehouse). Then, I took them out one by one and interviewed them, decided who I wanted... and burned down the warehouse, killing the rest of them.

I argued that that should give me more than enough xp to level, and that I could therefor take my feat (and my preferred applicant) immediately. My DM actually allowed it--we weren't playing a very serious campaign--but told me I was never again allowed to place advertisements with the intent of murdering most or all of the respondents.
Jristz 1st Oct 2013, 2:15 PM Butterfly edit delete reply
But you have the Butterfly effect

and the Emacs: M-x butterfly
Nox 1st Oct 2013, 2:33 PM edit delete reply
Hmm... Banned plans? But what about ones where WERE banned, but due to a session going HORRIBLY wrong, is now a viable plan? XD

OK, so I play a Star Wars Saga Edition game with my buddies. Note, this game takes place WAY after the battle of Yavin. I'm currently playing a level 9 Trianii Noble(who is Force Sensitive). A few sessions ago, DM has us stumble upon a few Holocrons. One of these was a Sith Holocron. As my Noble is Educated, I make a check to see what I know about the Sith. I roll a nat 20, so I know EVERYTHING XD. I, being a noble with no real connection to the Jedi Order, ask the DM if I can have my character take the Holocron and learn to be a Sith, cuz they are way cooler than Jedi(and she already had 2 darkside points). Since the party contained 3 Jedi at the time, he vetoed it.

So now jump to last weeks session. I took the Talent Wealth, so I had like 200,000 credits to waste. I decide to be nice and hit up the Jawas for some land speeders. Get a great deal cuz the DM rolled that they were overstocked. Even had the mechanic look them over and determine they were in perfect working order.

After driving the speeder around, my character realizes the shifter isn't working right. So I have our mechanic go over the speeder, and she finds a box. We all go O.O XD By this point in time, we only have one PC jedi. The Jedi opens the box and we find a sword. What we later found out was it was the sword of Naga Sadow. What we didn't know was that the Holocron was inhabited by Freedon Nadd. THe spirit inside the Holocron reacted to the spirit inside the sword. I got told by Naga Sadow to kill the Jedi, and Freedon Nadd possessed the Jedi who had the holocron(he failed his save). I decided to listen to the voice in my head, cuz he was trying to kill me. It was a pretty awesome battle that ended with the jedi being hit by an engine block and that knocked the spirit out of him. I ended up gaining 6 more Darkside points by the end of it, and everyone else gained at least 2 XD

So it looks like we are on the road to a Darkside campaign, and now the DM will let me go with my original plan and become a Sith Apprentice :D
Mooncalf 1st Oct 2013, 3:03 PM edit delete reply
I've never really had to ban any plans so far, because sadly I've never had players cunning enough to formulate plans that are that outre. They tend to run the gamut of "clever thinking that I'm willing to allow in the hopes that they continue to be clever" to "charging the undead horde with three hitpoints left and then whining when they don't survive".

I did have another GM who complained a lot about how my warlock took advantage of the third dimension. Simply put, I'd use Spiderclimb to stand on walls or ceilings, thus getting me out of melee range and in a position to take clear shots at the enemy. Somehow he thought this was unfair. He also preemptively banned me from flying and teleporting.
Zeeth 1st Oct 2013, 7:03 PM edit delete reply
Bleah. That's a particularly uncreative GM. "Your PC is standing on the ceiling! I won't ever be able to pit these kobolds with darts and short bows against someone whose primary stealth ability is the enemy never looking UP!! I don't even have any wizards with grease spells to cancel your spiderclimb! I only have a thousand orcs with clubs and swords who cower in fear at the very idea of someone they can't actually reach by stacking some furniture or climbing over a pile of each others' dead bodies!"

Bleah, I say again.
Digo 1st Oct 2013, 7:22 PM edit delete reply
I too Bleah. Kobolds lacking ranged weaponry? Inconceivable!

I remember one time nearly killing off the party Warlock who was flying. Large vaulted ceiling in the hall of a gothic castle. The gargoyles hiding up near the top all jumped on him and grappled.

Warlock hit the ground like a sack filled with chicken-noodle soup. Looked like it after that fight...
you know that guy 2nd Oct 2013, 4:35 AM edit delete reply
Kobolds don't build rooms with high ceilings, except for their dragon masters. In fact, if you are in a kobold room, you are either at least as small as them or taking a penalty.
Digo 2nd Oct 2013, 4:55 AM edit delete reply
In my campaigns, if a group of kobolds take over an enemy fortification, they usually convert the tall rooms to either storage or build a second floor. :)

Players do forget kobolds are as constructive as gnomes, only slightly less explosive.
Zuche 2nd Oct 2013, 10:00 AM edit delete reply
Guides to trap placement tell you they shouldn't be placed in high traffic areas where the residents are likely to set them off.

This is one reason you should never seek elevation in a kobold lair.
Digo 3rd Oct 2013, 5:00 AM edit delete reply
Hahaha, you never cease to amaze me with your brilliant insight. I wish I had players like you.
Richardil 1st Oct 2013, 5:58 PM edit delete reply
My currently running Pathfinder group started by being brought to the Celestial Plane to be trained, only to be interrupted by demons. One of my players was a druid who had taken the Animal Companion of a horse. During combat with the demons, a quasit (tiny fairy demon thing) rolled a nat 1 on a charge and just so happened to fly into the mouth of said horse, who made a retaliatory bite attack, which nat 20'd twice for an insta-kill. The druid pointed out that, logically, the horse would have chewed and swallowed the unfortunate quasit. I agreed with her. She then wanted to roll to see if her horse would gain anything for having devoured the essence of a demon whilst on the Celestial Plane, which I allowed. She rolled an 18, so I gave her a list of multiple minor perks for her horse. She chose bloodlust. Her horse now had carnivorous tendencies.

But that's not all, no. After combat finished, the druid wanted her horse to eat the fallen demons and gain more power. I, in my foolishness, allowed this. Another nat 20 later, her horse had eaten the head of the leader of the demon squad, causing a backlash of magical energy, throwing the party back into the Material Plane and granting her horse demonic qualities. The druid decided that her horse now had skulls as its favourite food. This level 1 horse was now hitting for 3d8 bludgeon damage and could absorb traits from devoured energy.

After a few corpses, I had to severely nerf this demon horse. I turned it into a player character, halving the stat rolls and turning it into a demon barbarian with bloodlust that was equine in from, was fireproof, and had extremely virile breeding capabilities. It only knew how to speak equestrian, but could understand common as well.

That thing was still tanky as heck, so I eventually guided my party into an area where all of their dealings were inside where the horse couldn't fit through the doors.

While not banned, the horse may as well be, the amount of standing around it does. Since it's also become an independent character instead of a player companion, I can make secret rolls for it. The party has lost a lot of bounties because the horse made a successful stealth check for eating the head of a mark that they're bringing in.
StarshineDash 1st Oct 2013, 7:10 PM edit delete reply
I am not allowed to roll a half-giant with a dwarven berserker compatriot solely to perform the "fastball special"

Nor am I allowed to take dwarf party members and use them as bowling balls against orcs.

I am not allowed to take the Half-Dragon template and attempt to hide my wings using the "Gargoyles" technique of folding them like a cloak.

I am not allowed to play a Psionic character. Ever. For any reason. Even in an all-Psionic campaign.

I am no longer allowed to reference anything in-character that does not exist in-universe.

Even if it would be hilarious.

ESPECIALLY if it would make the villain confused.

I may roll a druid, HOWEVER I may not have a druid with leadership, ascend my bear companion, and make him a monk with vow of poverty, and then take a squirrel as my second companion.
Digo 1st Oct 2013, 7:23 PM edit delete reply
I had two players in a Shadowrun game use the "Fastball Special". My BBEG didn't know what hit him. D:
Raxon 2nd Oct 2013, 12:44 PM edit delete reply
I had the idea to ascend a moose and squirrel.

I also tried to ascend a gelatinous cube, and an ancient black dragon, in the hopes that I might have a deified dragon serving me out of loyalty and gratitude.

That last one kinda didn't work. At all.
you know that guy 2nd Oct 2013, 11:52 PM edit delete reply
Dragons don't tend to have a high loyalty-and-gratitude stat.
Silka 1st Oct 2013, 7:10 PM edit delete reply
Does needing to create a house-rule limiting the number of auto-dodges the same way auto-parries are count?

In the Rifts: Equestria game I run (shut up, it totally works!), we have a pegasus Juicer who, if not for the above nerf, would be almost impossible to hit during combat.

And in another game, the player of the above Juicer isn't allowed to make a hundred enchanted grenades to throw at enemies in one action anymore; we took down a high-leveled devil lord in one turn (not one round, one TURN). Five levels were gained that day. XD
Dragonflight 2nd Oct 2013, 5:24 PM edit delete reply
Anything could be made to work with Palladium, in theory. I don't mind the idea of MLP's in Rifts, although how you shoehorned all that in would be fun to read, I just don't like the Palladium rule system.

Last time I took a stab at Rifts, I considered using Exalted. It delivers the same over the top gameplay, but it's got more variety. Just my two cents worth, however.
ADemonicPresence 1st Oct 2013, 7:51 PM edit delete reply
we are no longer allowed to use the corpses of stormtroopers as melee -or projectile-- weapons.
Limey Lassen 1st Oct 2013, 8:13 PM edit delete reply
Mental note: start playing druids.
CrowMagnon 1st Oct 2013, 8:32 PM edit delete reply
Ah-ha, so that last panel is the REAL reason why Chrysalis was able to Worf Celestia.
Guest 1st Oct 2013, 9:16 PM edit delete reply
Once I was running a game and a player got the power to turn into a minotaur, got a wolf familiar, and a baby dragon. I had to take them all away. (oh, don't you remember? it... flew away) *applejackface* I have never made quests for items easy ever again.
thubby 1st Oct 2013, 11:03 PM edit delete reply
the entire thrall herder class. because summoning fully equipped NPCs that are replaced every 24 hours as a class feature also means hundreds of NPCs worth of treasure a day.
also, summoning summoner monsters to summon monsters with summon monster recursively. because a pile of archons does not a happy campaign make.
Malroth 2nd Oct 2013, 7:07 PM edit delete reply
If your party has their actual expected WBL its not really a noticable increase, the only one who'll have anything worthwhile would be the single one 2 levels below the Thrallherd, of course the PCs should have already have fought defeated and looted at least 40 guys as well equipped as him per member of the party. In a 4 man squad thats 0.625% of the amount of magical gear they need to do their job.
thubby 7th Oct 2013, 9:10 PM edit delete reply
thralls can be up to character lvl-1.
assuming thralls show up with class appropriate gear as opposed to trade goods, that's a 35% wealth increase PER DAY.
believers can be put to work doing far more goofy gold making schemes.
thubby 7th Oct 2013, 9:24 PM edit delete reply
actually, the most terrifying thing that character ever did was use her ability offensively.
in order to win a war I parked her outside the enemy city and chose the enemy race, class, and alignment for my thralls and believers.
DMs Choice 2nd Oct 2013, 2:25 AM edit delete reply
A wizard drinking a water breathing and a reduce person potion to hide within a conjured large water elemental.
Since the elemental is transparent, the wizard has line of sight to any potential target of his spells.

OK, I actually didn't disallow it. I just... houseruled it somewhat.
Urthdigger 2nd Oct 2013, 4:34 AM edit delete reply
I noticed that the rules for familiars state that they use the master's hit dice when determining the effects of spells. I also noticed that polymorph lets me turn something into a creature of equal hitdice or lower. My DM ordered the rules changed after about the 3rd time I turned my weasel into a dragon.
Delta Echo 2nd Oct 2013, 6:29 AM edit delete reply
Death of Obsidian Butterflies.

That is all.

TDR 2nd Oct 2013, 8:24 AM edit delete reply
Alright so at one point my party was trying to enlist the aid of a Blue Dragon [LE]

The dragon finally agreed to help fight though she required that we double her horde before she would help us.

I came up with the idea to hook the dragon up with out insanely high charisma'd cleric.

This had the chance to increase the dragons horde ridiculously if they hit it off because children are a priceless treasure.

two other party members and I went to work on the idea because the cleric was against it.

Three epic diplomacy and bluff rolls later there was a very lovely wedding.

Dragonflight 2nd Oct 2013, 5:27 PM edit delete reply
I'd have had the dragon loot the cleric's main temple vault at some point. After all, weddings are nice and all, but the loot a major D&D religion would have in its vaults would be worth going through the charade.

Oh, and the cleric? Would totally be expected to support the dragon. That *is* the LAWFUL thing to do in an evil relationship, after all.
Ponikon 2nd Oct 2013, 9:15 AM edit delete reply
Now with more Season 3, I see.

Let me just light the flames.
FanOfMostEverything 2nd Oct 2013, 1:41 PM edit delete reply
"Any plan that requires the direct intervention of any deity to work can be assumed to be a very poor one."

So, any plan involving a miracle?

Also, I'm totally going to make a dire butterfly swarm now.
aerion111 2nd Oct 2013, 7:48 PM edit delete reply
Eh, the spell Miracle is generally considered to merely be the high-power version of the indirect power any other divine spell uses.
I think 'direct' in this context means the god has to decide to get involved, rather than respond to requests for standardized spells.
BuffaloBrony 2nd Oct 2013, 6:36 PM edit delete reply
As a GM - I generally let the players do what they want - I just make the consequences... painful...

So here are some rules that my PLAYERS came up with in my sci-fi game (mostly aimed at one specific player):

1) Thou shall not use anti-tank missiles on infantry INSIDE a docking bay.
2) Ya Know- let's just upgrade that to INSIDE a docking bay period...
3) ... Or inside your own starship...
4) ... Or inside the enemy's starship that you are trying to board, now that yours has a big hole in it.
5) ... Or inside a fusion power plant...
6) ... Or inside any power plant, really.

I was always wondering when the party would realize that they had other power armor suits - they could've put him in the "non-heavy weapon" suit pretty much any time after the FIRST time he used Antitank-missiles...
Nighzmarquls 3rd Oct 2013, 1:42 AM edit delete reply
This is more of a running gag then a ban but it goes like this:

The only form of Druid I may play is reincarnation druid.

This is because every other kind of druid I ever play will have an unerringly short lifespan of no longer then three sessions. And sometimes only half a session.

This includes urban Druids.

The deaths I have had from druids include the following:

Failing to walk up a mild incline, tripping, botching, having entire body botch trying to grab me and then sailing off a bottomless cliff.

Failing to Grab a rope, falling into a pit.

Failing a Fortitude Save, being replaced by brain eating parasite.



Explosive Spellcaster.

One honorable mention goes to the ravenloft character who was not QUITE a druid but had druid like abilities due to bloodline:

through an incredible coincidence of insanity random number generation ended up waking up after the first quest of the game completed without remembering any of it and thus preserving true innocence.

The irony of this situation is that I was just killed by a vampire, made the role to rise as a vampire, then failed my horror save and promptly purged all memory of being a vampire.

Proceeded to have a half educated bard/noblefop/nerd try to explain/understand vampries via using me as a guenea pig and have my charisma and general desire to live slowly drain away while the undeniable horror of waking up one day to have your entire village dead ruin all resolve.

Ahhh Ravenloft.
Fury of the Tempest 3rd Oct 2013, 4:35 AM edit delete reply
I remember in my very first Ponytales campaign, we got attacked by Kitsune ninja.

After was captured them and was interrogating them, one person decided they would like a kitsune tail... for some reason.

So they decided to pull the tail off... with a talent that moves 1000 pounds.

DMed ruled that doing so would pull the kitsune's spine out of its body... and the player went along with it until I vetod's it so hard I was listened to.

For once.

Pity no one listened to me when a critical success in making someone angry killed them.
The MunchKING 3rd Oct 2013, 6:52 AM edit delete reply
The MunchKING
They Rumplestiltskined themselves to death?
HeroShadow 14th Jan 2014, 10:34 AM edit delete reply
Had a member of my team convince me they could turn a chamber pot into a weapon. He filled it with gas(as well as poo for laughs), had it sealed somehow(A good check that I just let him get away with) and chucked it into a fire... And thus Chamberpots are now Permabanned from any plans for combat.
Thestralpony 29th Sep 2015, 11:38 AM Pebbles! edit delete reply
I’ll see your Vorpal Pebble and raise you three Mithril Pebbles of Pig Smiting! lol
DuskMoon 10th Aug 2017, 9:24 PM No more god intimidation edit delete reply
I was a warlock and we got attacked by a group of bandits. My whole party was TKO'd except for me, so I used fire magic and Intimidation to convince the Bandits I was a very pissed off Fire Demon. It worked, but the DM was annoyed so word got back to an ACTUAL fire demon who found us later and burned down a town we were in