Page 365 - Bolstering Fortitude

19th Nov 2013, 5:00 AM in Feeling Pinkie Keen
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Bolstering Fortitude
Average Rating: 5 (2 votes)
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Author Notes:

Newbiespud 19th Nov 2013, 5:00 AM edit delete
Story time! Gosh, it's been a while since I've called for one of these.

Tell a story in the comments about a premonitory moment like the one in the comic - that moment when you realized, as a player or as a DM, that the session to come was going to be crazy, or super-serious, or whatever it turned out to be.

Notice: Guest comic submissions are still open until this arc is finished! Guidelines here.



FLZ 19th Nov 2013, 5:01 AM edit delete reply
Landing on all fours won't save anything from being impaled on a horn, Pinkie.
Digo 19th Nov 2013, 5:08 AM edit delete reply
Shadowrun -
The original mission was to break into the Apple-Tec corporation and steal the code for their latest OS firewall system upgrade.

Unbeknownst to the PCs, their mission had already failed as a setup to get them captured. They had been plugged into "The Matrix" to play out a simulation of their mission. The PC quickly figured this out and managed to unplug themselves from the sim.

By the looks on the players faces, I knew I had touched a nerve.
On All. Four. Players.

I hunkered down because I knew what was about the happen. Stealthly escape this sim lab? No. They beat up the scientists in the room, took their mag keys to get at security, beat THEM up to get weapons, and then proceeded to maim EVERYONE in the facility. The team hacker and streetsam worked together to firebomb the place on their way out and the team mage summoned a fire elemental to burn every vehicle but one so they cna drive off.

Oh Celestia... the fires... the fires...
Theo 19th Nov 2013, 10:04 AM edit delete reply
I don't know, that seems like a perfectly reasonable and measured response to me.
Seanpony Renaud 19th Nov 2013, 10:23 AM Yep edit delete reply
Actually that's an underreaction if I ever saw one. My players wouldn't have allowed those people to die. They'd find a way to trap them in the Matrix on Hell Mode.
Digo 19th Nov 2013, 12:11 PM edit delete reply
I guess I expected too much out of my players that night. :)
Siccarus 19th Nov 2013, 1:35 PM edit delete reply
Actually, that seemed a little toned down, They didn't even steal every thing that wasn't nailed down, and then use a hammer to get the stuff that was nailed down.
JSchunx 19th Nov 2013, 1:08 PM edit delete reply
So was the simulation an attempt at self-incrimination, or something else? Torment maybe?
Kaze Koichi 19th Nov 2013, 5:05 PM edit delete reply
In my game, the next session's mission would be "escape the guys who are pissed off by you ruining their corporate scientific lab."
Digo 20th Nov 2013, 4:44 AM edit delete reply
It was a few things, two of which you mentioned. Another part of it was to study how runner teams operate so that they can sell the data to the cops.
ANW 19th Nov 2013, 5:09 AM edit delete reply
I've been looking at past polls, and I realized I forgot one, during the poison joke season.
What would Luna's and Celestia's would be?
No Nightmare Moon, or Molstia.
Both are too cliché.
Luna: Insomnia
Celestia: Blindness (You know looking at the sun too long)
By the way I wish to say I'm sorry about those few polls back there.
No more from on. Unless the comic goes that way. Which I doubt.
Digo 19th Nov 2013, 6:16 AM edit delete reply
For Luna I'd say her dark blue coat turns some abhorrent bright patchwork of colors. :D
Zuche 19th Nov 2013, 6:24 AM edit delete reply
Celestial: freckles (sunspots)
Luna: tidal vitaligo
terrycloth 19th Nov 2013, 10:48 AM edit delete reply
Celestia turns pink.
Luna turns into Fluttershy and has to beat away legions of adoring fans.
Digo 19th Nov 2013, 12:12 PM edit delete reply
Doesn't Luna already have such legions of adoring fans? :)
reynard61 19th Nov 2013, 11:04 PM edit delete reply
Yes. Yes she does.
Ponikon 20th Nov 2013, 6:54 AM edit delete reply
Luna has to fight off hordes of [AMOUROUS] "fans", then.
sjosten 19th Nov 2013, 10:53 AM edit delete reply
Celestia turns into an earth pony.
Luna turns into Prince Artemis.
Tatsurou 19th Nov 2013, 10:53 AM edit delete reply
Luna can only speak Fluttershy quiet.

Celestia is locked in the Royal Canterlot Voice.
ANW 6th Mar 2015, 9:33 AM edit delete reply
Ok, I'd looked back again.
Turns out, I did, but there wasn't that many.
So I guess i forgot.
Sorry for the re-poll.
TheStratovarian 19th Nov 2013, 5:11 AM edit delete reply
This just happened last friday, actually.

The adventures of CMC troop #185 had run into a snag at the mountain in zebrica. The two pegasi of the group, Gin Gear, and Red Robin, had to suddenly airlifted, by the strange winds of the place. After the really smart earth pony of the group, Torchlight, had run and found, not one, but two folks to help, alongside the teacher Amber Terre, in which both were former wonderbolts, about ten years retired. In returning, where the last of the troupe was. A kelpie named Moon Dancer, and a unicorn named Shady Simile. The story starts from there..

We had been joking, and laughing, and I had made a poke, given that I tended to peruse FimFiction quite a bit, with a line of "There better not be spiders.." and in good fun, the dm was poking about, and a reply of "I need a time lord! I need a time lord!" would come back to haunt me near the end. We manage without trouble to get the troupe up there, as gin and red both continue through the cavern ledge which they were dumped upon without harm.

As the pair push in, they found, not one, not two, not even three, but four rather, large, talking, spiders, all quite eager to meet them. As the rest of the group pushed in, and the two pegasi went looking if they were thrown further from the cave entrance so high up. a few minutes of time, as the rest of the troupe find themselves overlooking the place to see them down below, going to aid the poor trapped pegasi. One brave moment from amber, and she ends up in the corner screaming from and I quote "Ghost Spiders!" given the lack of those four really doing anything, save talking, the inquisitive nature of youth, started asking and poking at the illusionary, though ghostly spiders, the teacher catatonic in the corner.

But it was that little poke, and even nailing the one story in question too, that had the dm in stitches trying to keep it quiet after being very spot on.
SleeplessFish 19th Nov 2013, 5:18 AM edit delete reply
In the first session of our 'serious, political intrigue' Eberron campaign, the party destroyed a town by running through half of the towns walls, detonating bombs and setting the town on fire.
This is our 'serious' campaign.
FLZ 19th Nov 2013, 5:19 AM edit delete reply
Actually, I do have a story for this one!

We were just starting a new campaign, run by a guest DM - one of the players from our usual party, and the loudest most obnoxious one at that. I think we all knew it was going to be... interesting.

At one stage, a party member had decided to stand on a well. I don't know why, but that's what was happening. And I knew at that point that we'd underestimated how stupid this game would be. We promptly pushed him into the well, and it was inevitable that we'd probably spend upwards of a half hour dropping things at the poor soul. And, sure enough, we knocked him out with the bucket-thing from the well, and when he managed to wake up, threw some stones (and a dagger or two) down until we killed him in the water. Ah, good times.
Mabbz 19th Nov 2013, 5:30 AM edit delete reply
My second ever fight in any RP campaign. I convinced the other PCs to let my character (an illusionist/necromancer) try and sneak attack the two mages we were ambushing. My character's backstory had him quite experience with sneak attacks, so he said "don't worry, it should be fine. I've done this sort of thing before." *awkward pause* "Something's bound to go wrong now, isn't it..."

The fight ended with one of our enemies giving his life force to power some massive spell, which reduced my first ever PC to a few scorch marks on the ground.

I later made a new character for another campaign in the same universe. Something resulted in me saying this:

"Weird, isn't it. Here, have a collection of tempting fate cliches ;):

There's no going back now. At least we won't run into anything bad in the middle of a desert. And even if we did, we can take anything this world could possibly throw at us. Nothing can possibly go wrong. Or if it did, it wouldn't be more than we can handle. And once we'd dealt with whatever the problem was, at least it couldn't get any worse. I'm certain this'll be easy, we'll be home in time for tea. And we'll all live happily ever after.

Now that that's out of the way, how long d'you reckon Dreylan will last? Boy I hope fate isn't tempted by obvious parody"

Amazingly, he is still alive. Mostly because the campaign has been on haitus for months, but still...
Brickman 19th Nov 2013, 5:42 AM edit delete reply
But did he show the other PCs a picture of his wife and kids?
Descartes 19th Nov 2013, 6:14 AM edit delete reply
And was he only three days away from retiring?
Mabbz 20th Nov 2013, 12:02 AM edit delete reply
Sadly no. I guess I couldn't fit all the cliches in
Mabbz 20th Nov 2013, 12:01 AM edit delete reply
His wife died years earlier, and his estranged daughter was my follow up character. I suppose technically he used necromany to show them a picture of his daughter after he died, does that count?
JSchunx 19th Nov 2013, 1:11 PM edit delete reply
Just don't have him declare he'll hold off the oncoming horde by himself so his companions can escape.
Mabbz 20th Nov 2013, 12:04 AM edit delete reply
If he comes back to life (always a possibility, he was a necromancer and I managed to get his soul trapped in a magical stone on death) I'll avoid that.
Joural 20th Nov 2013, 10:38 AM edit delete reply
I think that actually increases the odds of him making it through- fated last stands are usually 'off screen' 'deaths'.
Boden King 19th Nov 2013, 6:55 AM The Humble Defender edit delete reply
I don't have any stories for this, though I'm sure I could come up with a couple if I thought hard enough. Instead this is me asking for more help. I've recently been tasked with running a one-off scary game. This came about after I started watching Gravity Falls (that would make a great campaign comic) and mentioning how the Hide Behind could make for a good creature. Now I have to do that.

So my question is this: how do I make D&D Fourth Edition scary?

In my mind horror is... the unknown, it's helplessness. How do I take the power away from a group of adventurers. How do I make a group capable of slaying dragons fear the noises in the dark?

A couple things to note:
- the group is level 5
- this will be my first time DMing

I would appreciate anything you guys have to say.
Azureink 19th Nov 2013, 9:42 AM edit delete reply
Use the undead.

-Traps, traps, traps (especially those that are like poison gas (which the undead are immune too) or ones that cause forced movement into other traps like pits (like the Kissing Maiden). Combine with small corridors that funnel and floating/phasing undead who can avoid the traps).
-Terrain like Defiled Ground, Grasping Bog/Grab Grass/Grasping Slime and Necrotic Ground.
-Ghouls or anything else that rob healing surges, including the two mentioned above.
-Wraiths (especially if you start the encounter having one kill a humanoid creature and then the humanoid creature becoming a wraith in the beginning of the second turn).
Colin 22nd Nov 2013, 6:47 PM edit delete reply
I had my party wake up inside a good ol'-fashioned haunted house with a past history of human sacrifice, and made shit up as I went along, playing very fast and loose with the rules. Anything in the monster manual that was spidery, ghostly, or plain creepy, I shoved it in. If there was a room idea that occurred to me, the terrain bent to match.

And I looked up all the creepy ideas I could on sup/tg/'s archive. Footsteps that continue on a couple of seconds after, strange chills in the air, rooms creaking like a ship in a gale... stuff like that. Enjoy:
Lyntermas 19th Nov 2013, 9:49 AM edit delete reply
This is advice from someone who's never been a DM before, so take it with a grain of salt.

-Don't make the Hide Behind the only monster you've got. If they expect only that, they'll just plan around it.
-If they decide to split the party, they deserve whatever comes their way. Isolation is great for horror.
-Leave clues that tell a story. Scratch marks on the walls, a dead body in a room that seems to have mirrors everywhere, etc.

Of course, the ultimate source of paranoia for players: passing notes.

Example: The party comes across an arcane symbol on the wall. Upon inspection, the symbol gives of a large flash of light, leaving behind "The demon is now amongst you." Pass out notes such as:
"You thought you saw something dark jump into the thief during the flash."
"What color are the barbarian's eyes again?"
"Your attacks gain 1d12 damage in the next fight. No other ill effects."
No demon is actually necessary...other than the evil that lurks in the hearts of men.

Just some thoughts.
Azureink 19th Nov 2013, 9:51 AM edit delete reply
The passing notes thing is something I also recommend.
Boden King 19th Nov 2013, 10:15 AM edit delete reply
Oh God, these are terrible, I LOVE them! If I can get them cursing my name by the end of the night, I'll consider it a success, assuming they also have a blast. I've also been kicking around ideas for a zombie night, this is going to great. If all goes well I have a story to tell after Thanksgiving.
Digo 19th Nov 2013, 12:16 PM edit delete reply
Also, making players roll saving throws without context. For example: player opens a lock box, make 'em roll a Fort, nod at the answer, pretend to jot down a notation.

If they ask, tell them not to worry, they'll know later.

This is a great way to get paranoia sewn into their minds. They might start checking for poisons. An unknown will save might get them to start putting up mental defenses against something that isn't there...

A little paranoia is great for a scare.
sjosten 19th Nov 2013, 10:58 AM edit delete reply
Change the stats. Not severely, just enough to be unusual. If the goblins live too long, or the kobolds are using weapons bigger than they should be able to, the pcs will be at least a little paranoid.
Zeeth 20th Nov 2013, 10:34 AM edit delete reply
Something that "isn't there" starts following them. (Could be something invisible, could just be an illusion -- audible or touch-based -- could just be the wind if there was any. Could be a pixie or brownie. Could be a shapeshifted dragon. Could be a lich, shadow, shade, ghost, or other undead/incorporeal being.)

In a wizard's home, what is presumably his familiar appears in each room. Watching them. It does nothing else.
"And there's another cat, this time in the middle of the carpet, licking his butt. The cat looks up as you enter, and sits upright to watch you all."
"Nope, your attempt to touch the cat is expertly avoided, and the cat walks into the next room."
In the next dungeon, the familiar shows up. Watching them. Then it vanishes just before a trap goes off. Repeat a few times, then the cat doesn't come back.

If nothing else, that previous tactic will drive your players nuts wondering what the heck the cat is doing, what it means, and so on. Keep silent and let them guess.
"Not telling you guys anything. You can figure it out."
While they're distracted with something (like this puzzle) is a good time to start putting them to sleep during night watches.

Once the situation has gone explosive, see the first part of this post. A little creeping horror can be fun. Maybe a slime has gotten in someone's gear somehow? Who put it there? Did it crawl up from somewhere dark and wet like a nearby cave? Who's giggling!?
Zuche 19th Nov 2013, 7:01 AM edit delete reply
It's nice to see I'm not the only DM that drives his players to drink.

...Come to think of it, there was one player I really should have had sedated way back when.

Two players.


I could use a cream soda now.
Digo 19th Nov 2013, 7:39 AM edit delete reply
Other way around with my players. I've ended a few sessions on a rum-n-coke. :)
DracoS 19th Nov 2013, 7:07 AM edit delete reply
I knew it was going to be an exciting game of Pathfinder when Kobber, the amazing Tengu Sorcerer, got knocked into unconsciousness by a critical sneak attack crossbow shot five minutes into the game. =)

And I was right! Danger, negotiation, Phoenix Wright-style OBJECTIONS, and a Pesh-addled spellcaster leading the way!

After that, getting knocked out by a hidden wind elemental triggered by me running ahead, getting knocked out by a magical chair I sat it, and getting knocked out by a kobold I decided to engage with my Bastard Sword instead of magic, I'm told I'm not allowed to lead anymore. =p
Alice 19th Nov 2013, 7:52 AM edit delete reply
"Oiled Hooker Explosion"

That is all I need say.
MirrorImage 19th Nov 2013, 8:10 AM edit delete reply
Ours was the day our Artificer (4e) who liked to smoke a cob pipe discovered that he can enchant his Tobacco.


Into LSD.

DM: "You set up on a ridge near where you know the Goblins will eventually be setting up camp to wait for their contact. You can see that an old campsite with a firepit is there, indicating they have used this place before."
Artificer: "I want to enchant a large amount of my Tobacco and hide it in the firepit, expecting the goblins to burn it incidentally when they start a fire."
Soletta 19th Nov 2013, 8:10 AM edit delete reply
Exalted campaign. We checked into a hotel in Yu-Shan (we had a free pass to any of them thanks to a grateful god) in order to relax and recover from injuries/do some training.

Cue every member of the party bar one getting laid, another one and an NPC cleaning a mech in short shorts with much bubbles and splashing (with a camera recording. Yeah. This is the character who in another session had sex FOR SCIENCE!) etc.

About halfway through, the GM declared we had accidently checked into a love hotel and ran with it :)
Tengokujin 19th Nov 2013, 8:18 AM edit delete reply
Last week, actually.
Shadowrun 5e
Our party of three had taken a job in the Seattle Barrens to clear out some "vermin" for an Lone Star retiree. Our combat mage/face went to politely confront the cannibal cult that was squatting on our patron's land. After some talking-to, we realized that this cult was the cause of at least some of the murders in the area. While my character ran after the cult members who left for a "hunt", our mage/face continued to talk to the cult leader, eventually saying anything he could to get out of there before the situation turned sour. When the wendigo the cult leader had summoned showed up after I accidentally killed two cult members who were trying to dismember a farm lady, our face started walking away from the camp. After the gun specialist and I managed to subdue the wendigo, our face marched back into the cult's camp.

"Ha ha, you wouldn't believe this, but-"
"Ha ha, seriously, my patron, you know what he said?"

The face shot the cult leader with an assault rifle. He was dead in two passes. Afterwards, our face accidentally got a cult.

Basically, as soon as our face started asking, "Is the wendigo dead, yet?" over our commlinks, I was expecting something like this. :3
Midnight Blaze 19th Nov 2013, 8:30 AM edit delete reply
One of our most recent sessions had us in the Equestrian equivilent of Japan. We were on a diplomatic mission and therefore we couldn't afford to botch the job. So of course Loki was intent on doing his best to screw up. Eventually we decided to tie him to a chair. After that everything went great.
hariman 19th Nov 2013, 8:31 AM edit delete reply
I played in D&D RPGA games during Living Greyhawk.

After the first time or two playing the regional Keoland Mods, ANY Keoland Mod I played I expected to be beastly hard and possibly fatal.

In one particular mod, the party kept encountering a "Farmer with a red hat".

When we finally hit the last encounter of the mod, said farmer is, of course, a Red Cap, and out for blood.

He attacks my character, a sorcerer, with a scythe, and that just looks dire in the first place.

4x damage crit. One strike, and my character is too dead to protect even with instant healing.

Damn Keoland Mods. The writers were out to kill the characters. Sometimes permanently.
celestdaer 19th Nov 2013, 9:05 AM edit delete reply
Well, let's see, the only time I can remember being especially aware of what was about to happen, was myself and another player had stayed behind to guard our group's camp as the two other players went off to explore, and the DM followed their antics, then suddenly turned the focus back to the two of us still at camp, and I blurted out, "Gee, they sure have been gone a long while, haven't they?" which left the DM confused for a moment before going, 'Well, you called it...'
DoubleCross 19th Nov 2013, 9:09 AM edit delete reply
And here we see Fluttershy leading the lambs to the slaughter-

Oh, I'm sorry. Carrying the frogs to the swamp.

So terribly sorry.
Digo 19th Nov 2013, 9:16 AM edit delete reply
And here I thought that Fluttershy was moving them to the swamp because too many of them were...

Croaking at the lake.
ANW 19th Nov 2013, 9:36 AM edit delete reply
Someone just earn themselves a pie.
TanktheTortoise 19th Nov 2013, 4:08 PM edit delete reply
Does that pie have the ability to predict the future? :P
ANW 19th Nov 2013, 5:34 PM edit delete reply
It predicts:
That the owner now has a pie to clean from his/her face.
Digo 20th Nov 2013, 4:46 AM edit delete reply
Mmmm, pie facial. Thems good eats.
Zuche 19th Nov 2013, 12:52 PM edit delete reply
Such ribbeting humour.
ANW 19th Nov 2013, 5:32 PM edit delete reply
That's one better.
Have a pie.
And I don't mean at your face.
Fury of the Tempest 19th Nov 2013, 9:29 AM edit delete reply
... Yes, my very first Ponytale game was like this at time...

It all started when during a fight, the ship we where all on was sunk...
Steven 19th Nov 2013, 10:10 AM edit delete reply
In an early session of a campaign for a d100 system one of my friends made, there was a player whose character (named Lucky-this will be important later) basically used tarot magic, basically she would pick a card from a deck and a pre-determined/pre-approved effect would happen. So we were doing the boss fight for the session, and she decided to draw a card. She draws it and reads the effect: Caster and all allies are transformed into animals from the relevant list. She rolled on that list. She turned us into freaking bunnies. Until that point, the session had been at least mostly serious, but after that we all knew that we could never have a serious session with 'Lucky' ever again, so when she died during the fight we refused to res her.
terrycloth 19th Nov 2013, 10:50 AM edit delete reply
Did you at least keep one of her feet for good luck?
Grtgfbll 19th Nov 2013, 10:15 AM edit delete reply
Any game where my dad's the GM/DM/whatever. The same could be said about any game where I'm a PC... Most people can't breath when both happen...
Quote from the most recent one: "Quit tightening those bandages,you're just making it worse!"
All three PCs had some kind of medical skill (yay GURPS) but mine was the only one that could consistently make the roll. The quote comes from when Will, my character, was too injured to treat himself. Would have been fine if they had stopped trying to help...
This Dude 19th Nov 2013, 10:20 AM edit delete reply
Our DM had been speculating on introducing some more light-hearted plot aspects before this, and he finally had an excuse. See, a friend of ours was interested in joining the campaign, and at his most level headed, he tended to be a little..... out there.
The moment we saw a gnome with a Jew-fro and dressed in horrid pastels, floating around in what could only be described as void, we knew it could only get weirder from that point on.
Esle Ynopemos 19th Nov 2013, 10:40 AM edit delete reply
I get this feeling pretty much every time my players introduce a new character in my Pathfinder game. For instance, one of the latest characters introduced was a Druid built with some kind of frost archetype, named Nickolas. His animal companion was a reindeer, and he had several gnome followers with a leadership feat. And a big red bag of holding.

That's right. I've got friggin' Santa Claus in my party. It doesn't take any premonitions to tell that the sessions to come are going to be a bit ridiculous.
William F. 19th Nov 2013, 11:10 AM edit delete reply
Rose Acadamy's Society for Dangerous Gentlemen. The playstyle is extremely freeform, using playing cards instead of dice.
Our third session, a friend joined us and we didn't have any more character sheets. So Orion suggested he play the environment. Knowing the penchant for my friends to be a little crazy with this much freedom, I immediately apologized to the table next to us for the insanity that would inevitably take place at our table, which in the end involved a mech battle, on top of the school roof, in the middle of a thunder storm that included snow, a tornado, and at one point, a rain of jelly beans. (shakes head) when will we ever learn that more freedom for the Nerdish Underground just means chaos and insanity?
Caden2112 19th Nov 2013, 11:15 AM edit delete reply
Oh, I've got a good one. My group was never the most serious, but this takes the cake.

Our party consisted of my Warforged Cleric and two dwarves. We'd pooled our spare gold for a cart on the basis that we could stash more loot to sell, and since Warforged are basically robots, we figured my cleric had enough STR to pull said cart and wouldn't get tired because he's not a puny meatbag.

...I say this because the DM was expecting a serious campaign full of intrigue where we didn't know who to trust. He explains the city we're coming up to, and one of the other players IC-ly gives my Warforged a simple command: "Charge."

...Cue out of control cart crashing through stalls, people, a large glass window, and the DM literally screaming as we demolished his plot less than ten minutes into the first session.

...Fortunately, he's good at improvising. That was just the tip of the iceberg...
Boden King 19th Nov 2013, 12:08 PM edit delete reply
Please don't blue ball us. I want to know what happens.
Boden King 19th Nov 2013, 12:08 PM edit delete reply
Please don't blue ball us. I want to know what happens.
HappyMuffin 19th Nov 2013, 11:58 AM edit delete reply
One time we were playing a one-off game of cathulu dark. I was playing the manager of a gingerale plant while the others were playing an investigator and a scientist.

We were trying to escape a building full of anti-gingerale elementals(they anilated on contact with gingerale) by jumping off the third story into a lake of anti-gingerale and using a gingerale explosion to soften the impact...

Long story short, dispite our choice in professions, I was killed, !twice!, while the others managed to distroy my gingerale plant using my summoned hord of gingerale based monstrosities.

The funny part was that this was our regular GM.
Lightning Flicker 19th Nov 2013, 1:05 PM edit delete reply
The time I knew something was going to go a certain way? Where do I begin? Most of the time, I can ALWAYS tell where my group is going with something. Well, I guess I'll talk about the first time it happened. I knew where we were going before we even started, and not because I knew the people playing. I knew it was going to be hilarious for them and frustrating for me. Now, keep in mind, this isn't just one session, this was about four or five. I was doing a little off shoot thing that linked back in to the story through my character because the DM needed a break, kind of like the DM in the comic! So, I sent them to the laboratory that my character was created in. That was all they knew about the few sessions I would be running before we started. They kept making Portal jokes. Now, I've never played the games, but I knew enough. They made so many Portal jokes that when they ended up in the basement and found "Aperture Bio Labs" written on some of the equipment, they busted up laughing. Then they found a machine that I described no more than 'looks like GLaDOS' and put a red button bigger than them near by. The guy who ran the science lab and had kidnapped them pleaded with them not to press the button. One of the guys took a flying leap at the button to smash it in with a kick. So, 'GLaDOS' turns on, and, of course, obviously, is evil and tries to kill them. I had planned AMI (Artificial Master Intelligence) BEFORE all the Portal jokes so they quickly got pissed because they tried to defeat her with paradoxes. Now, paradoxes didn't work on AMI because she was the brain of a child fused with a computer. So, there was enough child in her that she just didn't care. So, to calm them down, I told them that there was a way to beat her, they just had to think WITHOUT Portals. AMI sent them through tests and as she did, they eventually realized the truth. They ended up with her in a Smart Phone. Yep. Hilarious for them. Frustrating for me.
celestdaer 20th Nov 2013, 9:39 PM edit delete reply
Pretty impressive, your GlaDos was created from a human psyche? And predated the revelation in Portal 2?
JSchunx 19th Nov 2013, 1:06 PM edit delete reply
For me, the moment I knew our session was going to be insane was the moment we impaled a peep's head on a pencil and set it on fire as a sacrifice.

That was a weird night. Also, I promise no drugs were involved, just high amounts of sugar and sleep deprivation.
MumaKirby 19th Nov 2013, 2:58 PM edit delete reply
Um... in the second part of the story I posted yesterday, I think the DM just kind of glared at us when he asked where our characters were on the station.

The medic was in the medical station helping out, the soldier was in the bar picking up women, and I was in the brig, for trying to break into the core for the umpteenth time.

... Okay, he glared at -me- not so much the other ones.
TanktheTortoise 19th Nov 2013, 4:18 PM edit delete reply
So the only time when something of this sort happened in one of my campaigns was when the DM decided that he was going to make the Big Bad nigh unkillable. He told us at one point that try no matter what we wouldn't be able to kill him. I seem to remember it was some sort of artifact our PC's hadn't learned about yet. So naturally once we encountered the big bad in person we unleash hell on him... and kill him. Well turns out that our magic guide who pops in and out of the story (think Gandalf if he DIDN"T accompany the fellowship like in the beginning of the first and second films) shows up with FIVE identical corpses of the big bad. He then notices our corpse and states "It seems you have already learned what I have come to tell you. Killing him is like killing an immensely strong puppet." He then proceeds to explain what he had learned about the artifact and right as he is about to reveal the location another big bad puppet shows up to challenge us to a fight...

Needless to say sighs were had all around. On the plus side he did eventually turn it into a good story explanation but I don't know what would have happened if we destroyed the artifact as the campaign died due to various life circumstances of all the players.

I cant help but think considering our DM that one of us would have ended up becoming the big bad. He was cool like that, after a campaign was over he would through some minor suggestions at us about what our characters could become and thus we often became cameos (or even villains as I am expecting this would have happened) in later campaigns.
aylatrigger 19th Nov 2013, 6:45 PM edit delete reply
It's possible to have non-crazy games? I don't understand.
TheFreshDM 19th Nov 2013, 7:05 PM edit delete reply
A moment I knew my adventure was gonna be interesting might've been my last adventure I planned an encounter where the PC's had to stop a murderer but stop him without killing him. It was meant to be an encounter where it lasted a little while but not real long, it was the longest encounter that night. Oh but it got better the final boss turned out to be an imp and I planned for that being the main challenge of the entire encounter I actually didn't think the PC's would even survive to tell you the truth.What happens: They one shot it with a critical. I was stunned speechless, yet it's moments like these that have me coming back or more as the DM in the group.
Quin 19th Nov 2013, 7:43 PM edit delete reply
My game I DM was insane. I had informed the group that demons are warping reality and staying on the train tracks would keep them safe. Then a tunnel opens up without any tracks made by the demons. Seemed simple enough just avoid the tunnel...

No instead they go down the tunnel and bring a guitar from one of the demons they killed and played that down the tunnel. Then after a lot of luck rolls and venturing down a demon messed up roller costar they managed to turn their mine cart into a flying mine cart after they had to shoot down skeletons on flying dog houses and then when they managed to succeed and fly back to reality with their flying cart.

Then they managed to then summon a demon in front of a group of enemies while trying to steal something and managed to convince (was a good argument/reason) as they blamed the demon for what just happened.

So instead of a regular underground mission they turned it into this chaotic spin... and most of it made by random dice rolls that made as much sense as a wheel of fate.(low rolls = really bad. High = really good and their rolls for the crazy stuff where mostly high)
Raxon 19th Nov 2013, 7:45 PM edit delete reply
I would post a story about that moment of realization where the game is going to be crazy, but let's face it. If I'm in the game, that's a predetermined outcome.
TanktheTortoise 19th Nov 2013, 9:10 PM edit delete reply

Incidentally any movement on that ask Raxon blog/tumblr? Sounds like it would be frickin amazing! :D
Digo 20th Nov 2013, 4:47 AM edit delete reply
I suppose then it would have to go the other way around-- A session where Raxon doesn't do anything unusual.
Tatsurou 20th Nov 2013, 11:16 AM edit delete reply
If that happened, the entire table would be constantly paranoid about what he's going to do and when.
Raxon 20th Nov 2013, 1:02 PM edit delete reply
Keeping them paranoid is half the fun!

And no to the ask Raxon thing. It will have to wait until I am free.
MumaKirby 20th Nov 2013, 10:57 PM edit delete reply
Raxon still has at least 10 years left on his sentence so it might take a while, then.
Dusk Raven 19th Nov 2013, 9:13 PM edit delete reply
It was the first time I'd been with this particular DM. He'd had a bunch of NPCs named and described.

Before the end of the first session, he'd managed to kill most of them off, and our drow antipaladin manipulated his way into killing off the rest.

That's when it started to dawn on me that this wasn't your typical DM.
kyle 19th Nov 2013, 9:55 PM kyle edit delete reply
It all started gong crazy the moment the the DM said "you come across a gazebo"
Mooncalf 20th Nov 2013, 9:00 AM edit delete reply
I worry when alcohol has been in contact with one particular GM of mine. Not that I'm opposed to drinking in general, but for this guy in particular. If I walk into the room and he's either drinking, planning to drink during the course of the game, or drunk and/or hung over from previous drinking, I will regret not turning around and leaving on the spot.

This is in part because he's a bastard when drunk. Not saying that he's not a bit of a jerk usually, but when the fruit of the vine comes into play, his judgement goes out the window and he transforms from a GM who tries to challenge the players to a jerk who just likes to see you suffer while he plays God.

Worse, one of our more manipulative players figured out that the DM in this state could be persuaded to let him get away with all sorts of tricks and questionable rule interpretations as long as it was 'fun'. In an Aberrant campaign, he somehow managed to turn a few points of Mega-Charisma an Mega-Persuasion into an unstoppable, unresistable, zero-cost mind control power. And then started World War 3. DM thought it was fun that night, until he sobered up and had to rewrite the whole campaign.

And I don't allow him to drink when he's a player, either. Why? Because then he tries to wreck the adventure. He'll charge straight at anything resembling "The Rails" in order to head into undefined territory. Plot hooks? Ignore them. Important-looking NPCs with names? Ignore, insult, and/or assault. Who cares that I've written full sheets for them and everything? If he's told that the crossroads will take the group to three specific places with names and descriptions, he'll insist on going someplace else, just because.

So yeah. Alcohol? Not at my table.
Scootalol 20th Nov 2013, 9:54 AM edit delete reply
One of my first RP sessions ever. I got swept up into a D&D game at my local game store, and the first couple sessions were basically "help the new guy learn the lay of hte land." Third session, we retire to a conveniant tavern.

The fourth - and next seven - sessions were run by the DM's girlfriend,since he had some sort of srs bsns to attend out of state. So we show up, warm our dice, and she starts off with,

"The four of you wake up in a bed together..."

The our of us, all guys ranging from 16 (me) to 30, just sort of sat there. Finally, our party cleric's player, uttered a single word.


"The four of you wake up together in the room you rented at the tavern, legs and limbs twined together. it was a VERY long night, tee hee."

Yes. She had decided that our dudebro party of elves and hammer-gripping muscle dudes, was now her personal shipfic.

Worst thing was? She was a really good DM, and kept the yaoi mostly in her head... but just enough came out for everyone except her to be uncomfortable. But not so uncomfortable as to quit.

When the regular DM came back, he asked, "So, where did you guys leave off?"

"Oh, you know, we were at that tavern from a few weeks ago, separate rooms..."
Curb 20th Nov 2013, 5:53 PM edit delete reply
We ran a Heroes Unlimited game where everyone had to pull their starting class from a hat and had unlimited funds to build their character, after that, it was whatever the class started with. Once we were told that, we knew this was going to be a very weird, in a good way, campaign.

I ended up with a Type Two robot with advanced AI, motorized rollers for feet and an obsession(the GM made me roll on that table) with all things Japanese! She was constantly cosplaying the whole campaign, it actually worked in our favor a few times. When we actually went to Japan, no one batted an eye at her, thinking she was a really dedicated cosplayer. Other interesting choices were a 12 yr old super-solider in a catholic school uniform and perky teenaged cheerleader mage...the pom-pom jokes were bad as she literally cheered out her spells! The super-solider and my character got along well as they shared some hobbies and hated the cheerleader.
Siccarus 20th Nov 2013, 8:29 PM edit delete reply
Two words, Dire Squirrels.
And then another 2, Dire barnacles.
Followed by another 4 words, Dire barnacle Plate-mail.
Guest 20th Nov 2013, 8:55 PM edit delete reply
How about knowing that an entire four sessions would be about finding evidence to clear our names because someone framed us for killing a king?

The next four sessions after that incident involved trying to sneak around places looking for evidence to prove that we didn't kill the king we were framed for killing. The first guy (affectionately named "The Fat Pirate" due to the description of his appearance) was killed on the orders of a man who we named Ponse (on account of us disliking him and my co-DM forgetting what he'd called him), leaving us to chase down Ponse for answers, causing some guards to chase after us and Ponse to see what's going on, leading to me confessing to killing the king on Ponse's orders purely to make sure he gets locked up too. I made sure to claim that the rest of the party had no idea what they were getting involved in (which, seeing as I hadn't told them anything about what I was doing while trying to save the king, was technically true).

Next session, one of the party members tries sneaking into the prison I'm held in and gets caught. Session after that we escape as we're about to be executed.

Then during the fourth session we finally get to where we need to be, Ponse's house. Only problem is, it's now being picked over by royal guards, who, sure enough, grab the evidence and go to leave. At this point, I am SO done with sneaking about peoples' offices. He even said himself that there would have been more chasing evidence, but I'm guessing he realised that if the word "stealth" had come up any more, I would have fully abused my then-broken class which allowed me to cast fireball up to nine times per day.

So, yeah, I knew that until we got that evidence the game was pretty much now Metal Gear Dragons, and true enough, we did nothing but sneak for the whole damn four sessions and I sat in a prison cell for the entirety of one of them while watching one of my friends get caught too while trying to break me out.
celestdaer 20th Nov 2013, 9:49 PM edit delete reply
Got another story to share about characters who overcame bizarre circumstances. Both stories from the same character, same campaign, just different occasions. I was playing a kitsune in feudal Japan with control of earth, who met up with what would kindly be called an insane idiot played by another player, who swore up and down in character that he had a 'guardian Angel' who we would find out much later would be played by another player. Anyway, my kitsune got lucky and usually ended up facing down whatever was rushing headlong at her and the idiot. One time? The two of them, facing down a whole army. Quick thinking, drew on my power to make the earth shake off in the distance, like footsteps, and brought up my natural illusion skill to summon up something massive and shadowy towering above the forest. The army saw it, and, to a man, scattered.

A later story found my character trying to hide her natural form when her disguise failed suddenly, so, a party member and I went into the market at the sea town we'd just entered, and I seeked out a fox mask, just for irony's sake. Found, purchased, decided it would perfect for my character to wear a robe and the mask and hardly ever talk to anyone not in the party, until I realized the mask was clay, got sudden grin, looked at DM, "Can I use my earth skills to manipulate the mouth of the mask so it talks?" 'I guess so...? Give it a roll...' Nat 20 for the system. 'Yup, you're pretty damn good at it, too. Have fun with that.'
Norakos 20th Nov 2013, 10:09 PM edit delete reply
Oh thats easy. I was in a boss fight, with this 45ft tall demon and the GM reminded me that I had a spirit of wind bound to my soul. Well he had been helping me with combat; and extra attack here, a +1 AC bonus there and finally he said "I can help you more, but it will severely tax my power," I told him to go ahead and he flew into my gun, giving me a burst fire with it. Now, I should take this moment to mention this was a .44 revolver. The spirit gave it burst fire. My mind is still trying to figure that one out. Anyway, very next hit was a critical. I looked at the GM and said, "Oh, so that's how this fight is gonna go."

So, this thing was apparently a damage sponge because I put about 15 rounds into its head. The other two party members were attacking and doing pretty decent damage until it swung with a claw and crit failed, embedding itself in the ground. I took my next turn and charged up the length of its arm and slammed into its skull (its was a giant bone, centipede looking thing) and crashed through into where its brain was. I emptied the cylinder into its brain and the thing finally dropped.
_R_ 21st Nov 2013, 3:58 AM edit delete reply
We catified The Hunger Games. Guess what happened.
Zuche 21st Nov 2013, 10:10 AM edit delete reply
Mice drove the price of bells into the stratosphere?