Page 401 - Double Blind Gambit

11th Feb 2014, 5:00 AM in Feeling Pinkie Keen
<<First Latest>>
Double Blind Gambit
Average Rating: 5 (3 votes)
<<First Latest>>

Author Notes:

Newbiespud 11th Feb 2014, 5:00 AM edit delete
I would mention that Spike is a magically bound minion that would respawn if sacrificed to the hydra, but somehow I don't think that's crossed any of the players' minds here.

The third session of Fallout is Dragons (AKA Dragon Mawlers Inc.) is up!


Digo 11th Feb 2014, 5:03 AM edit delete reply
Taking big risks does come with big rewards in most games. Like the time I was in a 2nd level party and the team wizard would run out of spells easily. Thus he'd charge into battle with his dagger.

And somehow not die. Which earned him the nickname "Stabby McWizard" from the ranger and fighter.
Digo 11th Feb 2014, 5:41 AM edit delete reply
You should totally tell them about the police blockade you beat in a Geo. In fact, I'll tell it.

Shadowrun: The team set off a silent alarm at a factory and in turn the cops had the building surrounded. The team rigger was nothing more than a stain in the parking garage so we split up in hopes that at least some of us escape. I was a streetsam with decent driving skills. I boost the 2050's equivilent of a Geo hatchback and the team mage goes with me, the rest head back into the factory.

I peel rubber out of the garage, smash the little plastic bar at the pay booth and head for the front gate. There's cop cars parked to form a wall with maybe a car's width at best between them. Cops open fire as I aim for the wedge-shaped concrete barrier that looks like a foot wide ramp.

I hit the barrier with the left wheels and make the most spectacular driving skill check in my gaming career. Now the Geo is balanced on just the right wheels, I crashe through the space between the cop cars, the right wheels break under the weight, and the Geo rolls into street traffic. Because the cops shot out the front windshield, the mage and I bail out that way to the roof and jump onto a passing delivery truck and escape! :D

Vlaman 11th Feb 2014, 9:37 AM edit delete reply
That reminds me of the time my second level wizard basically soloed a boss.

He had taken an interest in the enchanted patch of floor near the entrance of the room and started to study it while the rest of the party went to go beat up the boss. The boss was a druid and decided he didn't like the four adventurers closing in on him and tried to escape in eagle form.

He flew past two of my party members who both missed their AOOs but I didn't and dealt near max damage. since my turn was next, I took a five-foot step and cast magic missile doing max damage, finishing off the boss.

I then went back to studying the spell, grumbling about fighters who couldn't do their jobs.

I think that was the dungeon where I dealt more damage with my staff than I did with my spells
Digo 11th Feb 2014, 10:43 AM edit delete reply
Heh, fun when you can win without spells! :)
Digo 11th Feb 2014, 10:44 AM edit delete reply
But epic when you can win with just ONE spell!

(Hit post accidently, meant to make this just one).
kriss1989 11th Feb 2014, 11:15 AM edit delete reply
My level one wizard soloed a melee heavy boss monster meant for the whole party to fight. I did it with lore, environment, and using the fact that it was partially molten metal to my advantage. Basically, I shot the ceiling of the cave we were in, dropping the entire anti-magic holy lake on the fire and metal demon and rode a wooden beam to the surface, but got knocked out by debrie on the way up. Luckily, I got rescued from drowning afterwords by my dog. Not my familiar, my pet dog. And people thought getting a pet dog was a waste of money.

And that is the story of how I hit level 2 and a half.
Digo 11th Feb 2014, 11:39 AM edit delete reply
Wow, that pet certainly paid for itself!
Bombom13 11th Feb 2014, 2:41 PM edit delete reply
Admittedly, my story didn't have such a good result, but it was a risky plan.

My level 3 Eladrin Wizard and the Dragonborn Fighter and Hobbit rogue (the entire team, by the way)were raiding an enemy dragon's camp because he was preparing for war. Sadly, he hasn't watched Lord of the Rings, or else he would have chosen something besides orcs. So we are burning down the tents and generally causing mayhem, when the leading orc come out. The Fighter went to deal with him. We destroyed the rest of the camp with relative ease. (80% fireball spells, 10% rogue and NPC distraction from Wizard, and 10% Rogue actually hitting something (The NPC never actually did.)) Well, the enemy pulls out a horn to summon the dragon. We didn't want the level 15 dragon to show up, so we told the NPC to knock it out of his hands. He missed. Terribly. I told everyone to get out of the way so I could acid arrow him. It turns out the already crippled Fighter (from holding off the boss and his guards singlehandedly) was the only one who couldn't move out of the way fast enough. So, I killed the boss and simultaneously caused the first of many player deaths in the campaign. Many of the ensuing player deaths were also from me using acid arrow when they were too close.I really need to get rid of that darn spell.
Karilyn 11th Feb 2014, 7:31 PM edit delete reply
Not going to lie, when I DM, I tend to hand out invisible awesome bonuses, for when plans are so batshit insane that they absolutely should work.

You wanna roll an skill check against something you have no chance against? Boring, have fun not succeeding unless you get stupid lucky.

You wanna get the villain's mother to call him on the phone, and complain about how he never calls her, to distract the villain long enough for you to steal the mcguffin? That's so batshit insane it'd be ridiculous if it /didn't/ work!

Creativity bonuses to skillchecks make for more fun games.
T 12th Feb 2014, 9:47 PM edit delete reply
Sounds fun! I would like to play with you someday
Dilaculo 11th Feb 2014, 5:47 AM edit delete reply
A game of Dragonstar, once. Par the course, we needed to track a disparate group of criminals down - and they were looking for us, too. But Dragonstar is "D&D. In. SPAAAAAAAACE~."...

So I, as the Rogue/Wizard (and a shapechanger to boot - it was a complex little build that got me Fast Healing) went "... Well, we could hide a tracker in me, and I could myself caught?" We went with it, most of us seeing no problems. So I confront one of them... and make a token effort. I don't use my weapons - I don't have anything but my most iconic gear. Instead, what do I use...?

Cantrips. We went with a more Pathfinder-esque ruling for them, so I had unlimited castings. So I humiliated him with cantrips. Arcane Mark to scrawl on his face. Light to make the insulting scrawl glow. A couple water bottles from nearby and ice ray to trip him up. Mage hand, a bit of creativity, and the DM giving in to the farce to pants him... It worked /too/ well, and he almost killed me out of rage, but... Well.
Digo 11th Feb 2014, 6:52 AM edit delete reply
Right on! That sounds like a lot of fun. You could also try Presidigitation to throw a puff of pepper at their noses. ;)
ANW 11th Feb 2014, 5:49 AM edit delete reply
Time to hit the bottom of the barrel.
Who is your least favorite CMC.
Me: Babs Seed, I don't hate her, but I don't like her either. A few seconds of teasing, and she joined the bully side.
Disloyal Subject 11th Feb 2014, 6:18 AM Crusader Scouts edit delete reply
When I think 'least favorite CMC,' Sweetie Belle springs to mind. Which is a testament to how much I like the others, since she's pretty awesome at what she does. I wasn't really considering Babs, though - they prolly tie for 3rd in my eyes; Sweetie has endearing yet frustrating clumsiness, the wisdom to be willing to fold, and EPIC singing skills, while Babs has physical prowess, a glorious psychotic smirk, and a fair amount of cunning.
I think the unexpected awesomeness of "Hush, now, Quiet Now" edges Babs into 4th. Babs Seed!
Digo 11th Feb 2014, 6:55 AM edit delete reply
Least favorite CMC? Dang, that's hard. It's like if I had a stack of hundred dollar bills and had to pick my least fav from the stack. :3

Maybe... Scootaloo? She's awesome, but the show hasn't done anything to flesh out relatives for her.
kriss1989 11th Feb 2014, 11:18 AM edit delete reply
Specter 11th Feb 2014, 5:59 PM edit delete reply
I can't pick. In fact, they are three of the main protagonists in my novel/video game script. I also didn't realize Babs was in the CMC. So... (Shrugs) I don't know, the CMC-Float?
Digo 12th Feb 2014, 4:48 AM edit delete reply
Making a video game eh?
redwings1340 12th Feb 2014, 3:06 PM edit delete reply

Babs Seed is the obvious choice, but it also feels a little cheap, because she's not a bad character in any sense. I feel like I'm just choosing her for the same reason why almost everypony's favorite pony is in the mane 6. She's just had less screen time and less time to develop, so I'm going to choose a character who has had more screentime.

As for least favorite, I love them all. Still, I'm going to have to go with Apple Bloom. Sweetie Bell has a nice side role as always being kind and being the best listener of the group, while Scootaloo has been developed fantastically in a few episodes. Apple Bloom is cool, but is a bit more boring than the other two. It's a tough choice though.
Specter 12th Feb 2014, 6:47 PM edit delete reply
Hurray, my computer is fixed! Why I came here first is beyond me. No, not really, I was just missing all of you. redwings1340, I agree, that's why I chose their float. Digo, Yes I am. If you would like, I can send you a sample of what I have done. It's mostly background lore and dialog, but is probably worth it. Or I can post one small bit at a time here on the site, if no one minds. (Especially Newbiespud.)
hrwilliams 11th Feb 2014, 6:11 AM edit delete reply
Heist rules: It has to look like it'll work, then look like it won't work, and then it works!
Disloyal Subject 11th Feb 2014, 6:12 AM Shield Power Restored edit delete reply
Woohoo! Jenkins status restored!
Huh... between the hydra and NMM, Twi should be wary of the other players branding feint charges as her schtick. Well, aside from derailing sessions with in-character calculated words and actions. Seldom has Magic Missile been as awesome as in her hooves... horn?
We've probably done this one before, but I like it, (and I always wanted to declare story time!) so tell a story about a plan where the obvious plan is a decoy.
Digo 11th Feb 2014, 6:59 AM edit delete reply
I remember one mission to infiltrate a major bank HQ. Our decoy was a car bomb we set off outside a hotel in another part of town (We ensured there were no casualties).

The decoy explosion worked it's purpose: to tie up the police and fire departments on the wrong end of town when we broke in the bank HQ. Bought us an extra 15 minutes of escape time.
Specter 11th Feb 2014, 6:07 PM edit delete reply
We sort of reverse-mind tricked the DM. Bard goes in and Sings a song for the royals (Me, since I have no other reason to pick another class that's already in play.) everyone else is going through the castle to find the evidence (Cliché-ish), and the rogue is being a rogue. Guards are in play and find the wandering heroes who seem to be a little too tipsy, rogue is caught by an elderly military noble (Duh), and the bard is still singing. Main party leaves to not draw attention with what is believed to be the evidence, rogue is kicked out with a lighter purse (said it was worth a couple of stealth groping's (Idiot)), and the bard leaves with a much heavier purse. unknown to the DM, the druid's familiar was acting like a scarf for the queen, and found the evidence (guess where.), snatched it, and scampered away like spike from teenage dragons. (It was a dragon by the way.:) long story short, we had the long con all along. Eat your heart out Bender (Bender's big score.)
Disloyal Subject 11th Feb 2014, 6:21 AM Respawn edit delete reply
Waitwaitwait... familiars respawn in 4e?!?
...I can't decide if that's wonderful convenience, or Eeevil convenience (that's easily exploited by, say, a ferret gun for called shots to distractees' faces.)
Unless it's a houserule exclusive to zees campaign?
kriss1989 11th Feb 2014, 7:01 AM edit delete reply
Or, as our party's warlock put it, free regenerating trap disarming device!
kriss1989 11th Feb 2014, 7:02 AM edit delete reply
Mentioned the whole familiar respawn last page. Our warlock abuses the shit out of that.
Digo 11th Feb 2014, 8:38 AM edit delete reply
Yeah, seems like an easily abusable thing as the reprecussions are low to none.

Different then what I'm used to. Someday I think it would be an interesting chance to design a familair PC and play along side a wizard master. I think there's potential for a lot of fun RPing.
Raxon 11th Feb 2014, 9:29 AM edit delete reply
It's only abuse if the familiar dislikes it. Otherwise, it's a kink. The fact that familiars take no permanent damage helps. This means they can be used and abused heavily in a totally legal and okay way, officer, I swear!
kriss1989 11th Feb 2014, 11:02 AM edit delete reply
Oh the familiar does dislike it, and does feel pain before it dies. It just has absolutely no choose but to do so, flying into certain, painful death over and over again at its master's command.
Specter 11th Feb 2014, 6:10 PM edit delete reply
My dad's familiar had the free-will it wanted to be able to make a deal with him, "I do what you want, in exchange for lots of food". Being a giant red-dragon has a lot of perks, excpecially when your elf owner has the bipolar-alignment, (1st edition, roll to see what you do.)
Kayeka 12th Feb 2014, 4:13 AM edit delete reply
Talk the DM into having the familiar betray the Warlock at the most horrible moment. It's good for both karma and role-playing.
kriss1989 13th Feb 2014, 11:57 AM edit delete reply
I AM the DM.
Zuche 11th Feb 2014, 7:00 PM edit delete reply
I've found, "And how do you think the familiar will react to that?" tends to be repercussion enough.
Euric 11th Feb 2014, 8:06 AM edit delete reply
Woohoo, new fallout is dragons!
Raxon 11th Feb 2014, 9:21 AM edit delete reply
Hmmm... Respawning familiars, part of my psyche...

Does this mean I could have a masochistic submissive drow girl for my familiar? I could take a feat to grant her class levels. She would only grant me what racial advantages drow get.

Heh heh. I can imagine my wizard forcing her to wear a pretty frilly dress and go to a fancy party. When she gets asked out by some noble, she just tells him, "I can't. My master swore to beat me after the ball. I dare not risk his wrath."

His wrath, of course, would be not hurting her or ordering her around. He would just ignore her for a few hours.

Wait, if I can have a sapient creature for a familiar, why stop at a drow? Why not a lizardfolk babe, or a cute monster girl? Ohhh, I could even have a furry familiar!

So many options for my perverted wizard to choose! Is there a feat to allow you to have multiple familiars in 4E, or would I have to homebrew it?
Derpmind 11th Feb 2014, 9:42 AM edit delete reply
I think Raxon would make a great familiar for Princess Molestia.
Raxon 11th Feb 2014, 9:44 AM edit delete reply
Well, maybe. I think if the subject is willing, it takes all the fun out of it for her.
Digo 11th Feb 2014, 10:47 AM edit delete reply
At first I was going to comment at how twistedly evil that sounded, but if the familiar is nothing more than an extention of the wizard... then you're just beating up on yourself. Which is a different kind of twisted. :)
Raxon 11th Feb 2014, 1:59 PM edit delete reply
Thank you. I work very hard on my villains. I like to make them a bit unsettling in some way.

My heroes also come across as rather unsettling sometimes, too. Like Captain Sociopath. I was gonna name him Captain Collateral, but then it would be too obvious he's a pawnshop owner in his dayjob.
Specter 11th Feb 2014, 6:14 PM edit delete reply
Hey Raxon, what you say, I can understand. So I have a question, What if your awesomely (yet misunderstood) wizard, had a familiar like that, but had no gender anatomy?
Raxon 11th Feb 2014, 10:46 PM edit delete reply
You mean like if my wizard was an Ilithid? Well, I guess he'd just have to use his beak.

Wait. A brilliant idea occurs to me. Do 4E familiars have biology? Could my Ilithid wizard eat her brain after he abuses her and just resummon her later, good as new? Could my vampire wizard use his elf familiar as a snack/emergency rations? He could name her Menchi!

PS: Wizard is one of my favorite classes, purely for the novelty and wide range of things I can do with it. Not my very favorite, but way up there. Can you tell?
Specter 12th Feb 2014, 6:53 PM edit delete reply
Not that you understood me or anything, but that sounds interesting. Probably, only if the familiar is ok with it, has some sort of necrophilia, or has too low of an int. score to understand/remember it. By the way, I was talking about... never mind. (For all I know, you probably have the same mind set as Dead-pool or Pinkie.) Which reminds me of a different question, What is your thought about Pinkie creating grenades that look like tomatoes?
Raxon 12th Feb 2014, 8:10 PM edit delete reply
At one point, Raxon(the wizard) used biomancy to build exploding, remotely controlled, disembodied hands, and tricked Power Girl into grabbing one by repeatedly pinching her on the backside in a spar. Tomatoes are fine and dandy.

Pretty sure I've told that story before.
Specter 12th Feb 2014, 8:16 PM edit delete reply
Ehh... Hands would make sense if you've seen "The Adams Family" (Thing is my favorite character). I only asked sense my game kind of includes the tomatoes being made by pinkie, first as a practical joke for Apple Jack, until the Equestrian Civil War (SPOILERS!)
Raxon 12th Feb 2014, 9:49 PM edit delete reply
To be fair, hands can be terrifying. One thing he makes are pairs of hands joined at the wrist, with eyes in the ends of the thumbs.

It sounds silly now, but just consider them in the dark, and being unaware they're lying in wait to jump out and grab your throat.

People laugh, and note that they seem useless. Then someone gets grabbed and needs a strength super to pry the hand off her wrist. It leaves a very clear bruise, it grips so tight.

They're not so harmless when described thusly; Strangling spiders made from disembodied hands.

Their preferred way is to hide in closets and ambush.

I like exploding vegetables, but I tend to work more in body horror.
Specter 12th Feb 2014, 9:56 PM edit delete reply
I get the impression you play a lot of survival horror games.
Raxon 12th Feb 2014, 10:14 PM edit delete reply
No, and I don't watch a lot of horror movies, either.

I do, however, have a fondness for designing monsters.

Also, one of the reasons is that Raxon is sort of a mad scientist. Every now and then, mad scientists back on his home Earth would invite other mad scientists over, serve refreshments, and unveil their newest monstrosities.

Think of it as a sort of garden party for biology specialist sparks.

Raxon is annoyed when he makes a really terrifying one, invites some JL members over, uncovers it, and they don't even give a courtesy shriek! It's got rat incissors and fangs on a wolf's head with deep sunken pits where its eyes should be that show a red glow only when it looks directly at you, otherwise the sockets just look empty, eagle talons for claws, spider legs, and an exposed rib cage and clearly visible lungs, and its heart is embedded in the center of the sternum, like a massive, pulsating tumor.

None of the superheroes are impressed, and Raxon is convinced it's because his monster wasn't horrifying enough for them.

"Aw, don't mind them. I thought it was scary, dad."

"Thanks, sweety."

And that is what got me into designing monsters and coming up with lore for them in the first place. Mad scientist garden parties. Well, that and extradimensional horrors that cultists kept summoning. Geeze, those little scorpion parasites were nasty little buggers! And you thought bot flies are horrible!
Specter 12th Feb 2014, 11:23 PM edit delete reply
... I feel like my life is nothing but a twisted version of every parody film ever made into one terrible video. Like a story that never ends, and only gets worse and worse. See you all on the next page.
celestdaer 13th Feb 2014, 4:37 AM edit delete reply
Oh dear... points for the Excel Saga reference
Alpha 11th Feb 2014, 12:15 PM edit delete reply
In this geist campaign we were confronting a vampire.

Actually let me rewind a bit in preparation for the confrontation my character, who is named Jo Booty, brought some 8oz steaks to the confrontation with this vampire.During the confrontation he drained the NPC that was with us, one of the other PC's was going insane and the rest of us are kind of unsure of what to do. So as a joke one of the players tells me you should totally throw 8oz steaks at the vampire. I do this thinking that this idea is brilliant. I critically fail and the steak hits his character the juice splatters on another PC. The vampire more or less goes, "fuck this Im done" and he just leaves. All in all Id say that went pretty well.
Pathfinder 11th Feb 2014, 12:47 PM edit delete reply
On the note comepletly unrealated to the current comic, in light of the recent "Simple ways", this one:
got even more funny and this reading by Double Cross
got even more on point.
Newbiespud 11th Feb 2014, 1:17 PM edit delete reply
I was definitely excited for Rarity talking like Applejack.

Whaddaya know? You make 344 jokes, and it turns out the thing you're based on makes one similar joke (but better and more funny). Small world, huh?
Zarhon 12th Feb 2014, 5:26 AM edit delete reply
To any who might take an interest: I'm considering starting a pony campaign for evil PCs, played over Skype!

The game will be themed around being devils/fiends/inhabitants of a fiendish bureaucratic dimension, who have just gotten access to Equestria for (faustian) contracts and similar assignments to be fulfilled by the evil PCs.

For more info, check out the link (need to register to post):

Game will be using the "Pony Tales" rules:
Disloyal Subject 12th Feb 2014, 6:21 AM Eeeevil! edit delete reply
That could be interesting, though 'evil ponies' seems unsettling to me. I prefer morally gray, so most of my PCs would be too likely to betray the party for my taste. I do have a ruthless Vader-ish Earth Pony mage on the backburner who might work, or I could make another evil pony, but the last one I made scares me - Azure Storm seesaws between cartoonish puppy-kicking and stark atrocity with an indifference that horrifies me.
Okay, read the description. I'm definitely interested, but I'd have to know when sessions will be before I can commit. As far as degree of evil... cartoonish villainy masking evil incarnate is my MO for this sort of thing. In troperspeak, Faux Affably Evil motivated by For the Evulz and the prospect of gaining Screw the Rules, I Have <x>. Everything from sitcom-ish relationship sabotaging to genocide by sadistic torture. Depending on the roles already filled, I could make more of a well-inntentioned extremist whose damnation was for going too far - a fallen paladin, methinks. Yes, that fits well with the multidimensional aspect... I think I'll stat both those characters for their home 'verses and Pony Tales and await updates.
Disloyal Subject 12th Feb 2014, 2:46 PM Villainy edit delete reply
Okay, I've got... a lot of characters to pick from now, actually. I've fleshed them out enough that I can manage lighthearted comedic villainy, like Team Rocket if they were competent. My current favorite was a Hextorian knight before his damnation, and is looking for conquest, as very loosely defined by him. His worst is eating kittens; he's actually a pretty okay dude. I'll create an account later on the forum to 'officially' express my interest, and try to figure out Google Docs & post character sheets.
Specter 12th Feb 2014, 6:56 PM edit delete reply
I won't be able to do anything like that with any of you, since I have no computer skills. But, do you want more of a "Trixie under the Alicorn-amulet" evil, "Pinkamina in "Cupcakes" (I wish that book never lived)" or something worse/better/in between? cause I can give you some evil bosses to use.
Zarhon 13th Feb 2014, 9:26 AM edit delete reply
Hm, well the "Pinkamena" concept might be a bit too much (due to savagery/unfunny/grimdark nature, rather than the whole "bloody mess" part - could be awkward to other players, you know? If it's sufficiently funny it *could* work though, think 'Richard'). Alicorn-Amulet evil would fit, so long as it doesn't cross over into "Cupcakes" evil.

Ideally, something of a "Disgaea" level of evil? Being consistently funny counts for a lot too (take "Richard" from LFG comic as an example, though probably toned down a notch).

Anyway, if you have concepts/interest, I ask that you post them in the forum I linked, as I check that one more often and it's simpler to work with. Going to post this on the next FiD page as well.
wynni 12th Feb 2014, 2:14 PM long time gamer edit delete reply
I have a Halfling follower of Brandobaris named Tickleberry Brandybuck. She specializes in "Hey y'all, watch this!" it seems the more entertaining and unlikely the gambit its, the more likely I'm to roll a nat twenty on it. Funniest thing of it is, I use the exact same dice for my more conventional ranger, and she rolls positively 'meh'. Tickleberry has earned the nick "Kracken's Bane" for oneshotting a giant ocotopus with a dart. A. Dart.
Disloyal Subject 12th Feb 2014, 2:47 PM Cherry Tapping edit delete reply
A dart.
Okay, I may have to bake cookies for you to toast that one. Epic frelling win.
Specter 12th Feb 2014, 6:59 PM edit delete reply
Nice, try it with a bard. (I died, took the beasty with me./) ) I got thrown at it by my older brother (Barbarian who hated anyone/thing that made a pun of some sort (Broke the 4th wall every five minutes.) I should start watching movies he's never seen. (LIKE MLP!) (P.S. He is a marine who doesn't like bronies. Sucks to be him./) )
Niels 12th Feb 2014, 10:19 PM edit delete reply
isn't 'best plan ever' somewhat akin to asking, 'what could possibly go wrong?'
Raxon 12th Feb 2014, 10:48 PM edit delete reply
Nothing could possibly go wronggo wronggo wrong...
Niels 13th Feb 2014, 1:38 AM edit delete reply
I'd ask what's the worst that could happen but I'm not sure I want to know.