Page 411 - Fast Lane Ending

6th Mar 2014, 5:00 AM in Feeling Pinkie Keen
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Fast Lane Ending
Average Rating: 4.67 (3 votes)
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Author Notes:

Newbiespud 6th Mar 2014, 5:00 AM edit delete
There comes a point where the biggest challenges laid forth as a DM have been cleared, and you have little energy left to perform the players' encounters with the world. Details get simpler, and the last few remaining loose ends get resolved quickly because that takes the least energy.

In stories, this is known as the denouement, and the fact that written stories and tabletop narratives have this natural similarity is something I find very interesting.

Notice: Guest comic submissions are open! Guidelines here. Deadline: February 20th.



FanOfMostEverything 6th Mar 2014, 5:17 AM edit delete reply
Big Pink, you got some splainin to do!
Zuche 6th Mar 2014, 5:20 AM edit delete reply
Ah, the denouement, sometimes known among players as the perfect time to start haggling with the DM. Still not the best time to push your luck too far.
T 6th Mar 2014, 5:08 PM edit delete reply
So... We can capture the Taraxipus?
And bring it back to Tartarus?
And get a cap of invisibility as reward?
Eyep! What!?!?!?
Plynic 7th Mar 2014, 11:20 PM edit delete reply
Me: "Okay, so, end of adventure points? Standard two for the session, and the adventure arc?"
GM (my girlfriend): "Mmm, eight."
Me: *wheedling* "And any bonus for a flawless victory?"
GM: "No, because I like round numbers."
Me: "But if I get ten total, I'll have twelve on my character sheet."
GM: *twitch* "Have three more then."
Me: "...I didn't actually expect that to work."
Blyndir 6th Mar 2014, 5:21 AM edit delete reply
Anyone got a story about a really memorable session wrap up?
Digo 6th Mar 2014, 5:37 AM edit delete reply
d20 Modern X-Files campaign--

We finished up a case of a ghost haunting at a mall. We arrested the ghost's killer, the spirit was laid to rest by the team priest, and all was back to mundane satisfaction.

So of course two of the agents, Napoleon and Ronnie, took my character (16 years old) out shopping for cigs and beer. And had me go pay for it.

And then bust the cashier for selling such goods to a minor.

But let him off with a stern warning.

And they kept the cigs and beer as 'evidence'.

Without paying for it.

Yes, this is your tax dollars at work. XD We were normally good federal agents, but on rare occasions we could be jerks just because. Ah, with great power comes great ideas to abuse the system.
Disloyal Subject 6th Mar 2014, 7:08 AM Game Over edit delete reply
The elf druid's rampage through town (he somehow managed to break out of jail while the less psychotic members of the party were off actually doing the quest) got out of hand when he Wildshaped into a monitor lizard and tried to eat a baby. The mom managed to grab her kid and escape while he repeatedly tried to smash in through the window, so I figured it was reasonable that she'd gather a mob.
Even a monitor lizard with divine magic is easily overwhelmed by torches' pitchforks, especially since I homebrewed "angry mob" on the spot as a monster using the Swarm rules (anything within it's space gets hit automatically). It's his own fault, really; aside from being a total freaking psychopath, he gave me the idea by summoning an insect swarm that absolutely decimated the second guard patrol he ran into.
Specter 6th Mar 2014, 7:40 AM edit delete reply
We were actually going through an alien space ship at the time, mostly because one of my friends had recently watched the entire Aliens series, and had to do it.

So, 2 fighters, 3 rogues, and a single cleric are going through what is essentially the far future, in terms of technological surrondings, while being hard-pressed by alien assassins.

We reached the queen and decided (Railroaded) to fight it. Why I said railroaded is because one of the fighters and rogues, our most cherished players, both got infected from face-huggers, right on the spot. So, one not-so-epic fight later, we have killed the queen, and are surrounded by aliens.

He wanted to kill us with them, but I (who has the equivilant intelligence of the lore by common bardic knowledge) reminded him that basically all of the aliens would be paralized, if not dead, for about a day, to simulate that they have lost their hive leader.

He narrated years later, when they returned, and I blew them up with salvaed alien tech. Few of my enemies like me.
JackTheGreatOfPojo 6th Mar 2014, 9:52 AM edit delete reply
"few of my enemies like me" so the rest just try to kill you as a friendly josh XP
Specter 6th Mar 2014, 12:43 PM edit delete reply
JackTheGreatOfPojo, not really. They consider me a real adversary, and would actually enjoy me as an opponent. I'm am their equal in skill, morals, and use of resources. Plus, I kind of recruit/convert my favorite/best foes to my side.
Darkside 6th Mar 2014, 9:01 AM edit delete reply
Well, it was definitely memorable, but not exactly happy...

It started when we were at the guard headquarters for the town we were in, having found strange signs in several other places in the town. And we were attacked by the guards, only to quickly dispatch them.

After we investigated he building, but just before we left, the "wooden paladin" (we were using Savage Worlds) senses something incredibly unnatural and shouts "They're in the corners!"

Then he drops like a puppet with its strings cut.

My character, Mendoza Nu Mou, then aims for one of the corners and fires off an arrow of ice (I'm a magic bowman), which only impacts the wall.

The Kid Wizard, Igen, starts throwing spells around, trying to hit something

The Grumpy Old Man Soldier. Lucifer, starts swinging his giant club around as well, using his weak psychic powers to try and find whatever's attacking us.

Then Igen drops and something appears to remove the top of his head. That's when the players knew what we were dealing with:

Illithids. Invisible Illithids.

I was the next to drop, but, amazingly, Lucifer kept going, surviving for four more rounds before finally falling.

Even so, we all hate Illithids now.
JR Klein 7th Mar 2014, 4:29 AM edit delete reply
I was in a Dragon Age RPG game where everyone save myself had been tainted by darkspawn blood. There was only one way for us to save ourselves: become Grey Wardens. But the initiation ceremony required a hefty Constitution roll to even survive. I watched as one by one my teammates fell, until only one was left alive. As for my character, since she hadn't been tainted, she just went home to her family. I did make a Con roll for her, though, just for giggles. (She would have died.)

Needless to say, that was the end of that campaign.
UrzaMTG 6th Mar 2014, 6:44 AM edit delete reply
I tried to run an online D&D 3.5 campaign for some friends when they all graduated from high school a year ahead of me and still wanted to play together. In the first session, they met up in a town that had been set on fire by bandits. They entered the town and dispatched of the bandits, but this still left them as a group of level 1 characters in a town on fire.

My solution was to invent the fire truck. A cart with a large copper tank in the back rolled into town, with someone in the front using ghost sound to create a large wailing noise to announce their arrival. He then started the pump and began extinguishing the flames.

Most of the party stood back and watched this happen. The half-orc barbarian and his abysmal intelligence decided to start breaking down doors and rescuing people. He succeeded, but this ended up being the last session because of time and my inability to prepare.
Disloyal Subject 6th Mar 2014, 7:11 AM 3.5 edit delete reply
Huh. Mind if I borrow that party meeting, and the dungeonpunk firetruck? I'm actually gonna be running an online 3.5 campaign for similar reasons, save that we all graduated & went to different colleges.
ANW 6th Mar 2014, 6:54 AM edit delete reply
Celestia is the sun, Luna is the moon, Candace is love, and Twilight is magic.
What title would the rest of the mane 6 be,if they become alicorns?
Vegetalss4 6th Mar 2014, 6:57 AM edit delete reply
how about kindness, laughter, generosity, loyalty and honesty?
I'll leave it to you who would be which
FanOfMostEverything 6th Mar 2014, 7:25 AM edit delete reply
While the other Elements of Harmony form the obvious answer, thinking outside the box can be so much more fun. Now then:

Applejack: Princess of the Harvest
Fluttershy: Princess of Life
Pinkie Pie: Princess of Harmonic Chaos
Rainbow Dash: Princess of Storms
Rarity: Princess of Beauty

Mind you, these are just official titles. AJ could theoretically govern all plants, Fluttershy all animals, and Dash all weather, just as Celestia and Luna manage the sun and moon rather than having dozens of unicorns manage them. Rarity's sphere of influence is similar to Cadance's, vaguely defined and potent where applicable. And Pinkie is basically Twilight plus Discord, divided by fish. She may or may not be a draconequus shapeshifted into an alicorn.
Specter 6th Mar 2014, 7:48 AM edit delete reply
Normally I would participate in this ANW, but I've got nothing for this. If anything, I would agree with Vegetalss2... Sorry.

Unless I go back to my haed-cannon thing. (Minus the alicorn/royalty crud)

AppleJack: Agriculture
Rainbow Dash: Comradship
Rarity: Charity
Fluttershy: Nature
Pinkie Pie: Morale

Nopony has to agree with me, or anything, nore do I excpect/want it, just trust me.
Digo 6th Mar 2014, 7:51 AM edit delete reply
I disagree, I agree. ;)
ANW 6th Mar 2014, 8:42 AM edit delete reply
I forgot to put down my opinion. Silly me.♥
Rarity Beauty
Applejack Earth
Fluttershy Animals
Pinkie Pie Party
Rainbow Dash Sky
Luna 6th Mar 2014, 9:20 AM edit delete reply
Rainbow dash would probably argue for something cooler, like princess of awesomeness.
DoubleCross 6th Mar 2014, 9:36 AM edit delete reply
Rarity: Elegance.
Rainbow Dash: Teamwork.
Pinkie Pie: Spirit.
Fluttershy: Conservation.
Applejack: Apples.
terrycloth 6th Mar 2014, 10:46 AM edit delete reply
Twilight is princess of Books.
Applejack is princess of Rodeos.
Fluttershy is princess of Wrestling.
Rainbow Dash is princess of Public Relations
Pinkie Pie is princess of Musical Numbers
Rarity is princess of Industry and Infrastructure. She wasn't very happy about it but somepony had to do it and nopony else wanted it.
HappyMuffin 6th Mar 2014, 11:04 AM edit delete reply
The would all combine into one alicorn and become the Princess of Shark Jumps.
DoubleCross 6th Mar 2014, 11:10 AM edit delete reply
FanOfMostEverything 7th Mar 2014, 8:01 AM edit delete reply
Prinstrumentality? So instead of Tang, everyone turns into alicorns?
Walabio 8th Mar 2014, 12:52 AM ¿Who is Candance? edit delete reply
¿Who is Candance?

the Alicorn of Love is Princess Mi Amore Cadenza who prefers Cadance.
redwings1340 6th Mar 2014, 9:03 AM edit delete reply
How do they know where the Taraxippus is? Even if it did become super afraid and fainted, shouldn't it still be hiding? I know I'm questioning logic in a Pinkie Pie session, but I'm still confused why scaring it would stop it from moving or make it easier to capture.
Digo 6th Mar 2014, 10:16 AM edit delete reply
Such a problem of location occasionally comes up in my games. For example, I converted the old ShadowGate game to a D&D module and had a vampire enounter in the library. The PCs reduced it to a cloud and the vampire retreated through some floorboards to the basement. Thus, the vampire should be helpless and the PCs could stake it in it's coffin! where's the coffin? XD

They didn't even know where the basement entrance was so they tore up the floor of the library to get down into the basement. This naturally got the attention of the Minotaur Barbarian-Ranger down there.
Kynrasian 6th Mar 2014, 4:15 PM edit delete reply
That reminds me of a puzzle my co-DM once gave us. We discovered that a dagger must be placed in a certain slot on a stone table full of holes as part of the puzzle, but not just any dagger, it had to be a specific dagger, the exact one that the mirror we'd been looking in at the back of the room was showing us.

It took a very long time before anyone checked UNDER the table :I

Aside from this I may have already related the story of how we found the phylactery of a recurring lich character, in which I put it on and then immediately go "Am I wearing the phylactery?"
Digo 6th Mar 2014, 5:55 PM edit delete reply
Hidden under the table? Ok, that was brilliant. :3
Kynrasian 7th Mar 2014, 3:33 PM edit delete reply
I can't remember who finally looked under the table or why, but whoever did got as far as the word "under" and he just doubled over with laughter. He couldn't believe it took us that long to look in such an obvious place.
Luna 6th Mar 2014, 11:59 AM edit delete reply
Allow me to quote Mr Torgue. "Because... Reasons!" :p
Specter 6th Mar 2014, 12:47 PM edit delete reply
"Reasons"?, I would start with, "Cause it can't be done in video games", and end with, "It seems to be effective and cool."
kriss1989 6th Mar 2014, 10:13 AM edit delete reply
I try my best when wrapping up story arcs, but well it's hard to make a victory celebration meaningful when the players know for a fact that there are at least 12 others quests they need to complete (mostly their own damn fault), but I do my best to give a sense of "yeah, the world isn't perfect, but you've made this part of it better at least. And isn't that something?"
Specter 6th Mar 2014, 12:45 PM edit delete reply
Understandable, and agreed with.
Digo 6th Mar 2014, 1:48 PM edit delete reply
I just realized that Saturday is going to be the last day I get my FiD fix early in the morning for several months. I'll be waiting another hour before it shows up.

Curse you Daylight Savings!
Disloyal Subject 6th Mar 2014, 4:21 PM Oh Noes! edit delete reply
The horror! The horror!
...Seriously, I am a little horrified, if only by the inefficiency. Can't we just split the difference and abandon this farcical joke?!
...sorry, berserk button. I hadn't considered that effect of it, though. =(
Digo 6th Mar 2014, 5:56 PM edit delete reply
Yeah, I stopped believing in Daylight Savings a long time ago. :)
Specter 6th Mar 2014, 6:00 PM edit delete reply
It's not that bad, I'm pretty sure it helps some out with their day-to-day activates (Like this comic for example.)
FanOfMostEverything 7th Mar 2014, 5:07 AM edit delete reply
To paraphrase the Death of Rats, you may not believe in Daylight Savings Time, but it believes in you.
Razomyure 7th Mar 2014, 11:25 AM edit delete reply
Good to see that "MostEverything" includes "Discworld."
kriss1989 7th Mar 2014, 4:26 AM edit delete reply
Look it was invented to help farmers alright?
Specter 7th Mar 2014, 7:35 AM edit delete reply
... You are very smart Kriss1989... I will need to keep that little bit of information, for I have probably found my next adversary, unless it turns out to be Raxon, then I may have found myself an allie.
Raxon 7th Mar 2014, 3:50 PM edit delete reply
You think the Daylight Savings Time is your ally, but you merely adopted the change. I was bored in the Daylight Savings Time, mold upon it. It took many scrubbings to clean it, and now it needs the grout scrubbed, and the tiles bleached. The pin up calender needs to be changed.
Specter 7th Mar 2014, 7:03 PM edit delete reply
Right up until the very end, I had no idea what you were saying.
Raxon 7th Mar 2014, 7:48 PM edit delete reply
I've been a bit sick as of late. Not up to par, I suppose.

Man, this sentient murder flu I got while saving those sexy ballerina catgirls from evil space Hitler sure is a nasty piece of work.

I'll have to challenge the mad scientist who created it to a card game, probably while riding a motorcycle, if his platypus nemesis hasn't dealt with him first.
XanatosDrake 7th Mar 2014, 10:58 PM edit delete reply
this reminds me of all the times that someone asks me to guess what. I always answer with: a purple kumquat being chased by a flying ice cream cone?
Specter 8th Mar 2014, 12:13 AM edit delete reply
I always guess nothing.

Hope you get well Raxon. I got the same thing last month,, came out a little more or less re-undead-ish.
Walabio 8th Mar 2014, 1:21 AM ¡Wrong! edit delete reply

Farmers hate DayLightSavingsTime. We have good truth and real truth:

Good Truth:
DayLightSavingsTime saves energy.

The fact is that DayLightSavingsTime does _"*NOT*"_ save energy. The stress of changing when one wakes does cause heartattacks. The induced jetlag causes ponies to have fatal accide4nts.

¡DayLightSavingsTime kills thousands annually!

Real Truth:

Retailer and the service-industry want DayLightSavingsTime so that they can sell more stuff to ponies afraid to be outside past sunset.

¡Now You Know! ¡You cannot unknow!

Rather than play with the clocks, which causes confusion and outright kills ponies, it would make more sense for retailers and the service-industry to try to get government government-controlled thing like schools to open and close earlier, which would force businesses interacting with the government to shift their hours earlier, leaving more daylight hours after work for shopping.

¡DayLightSavingsTimes confuses and kills!
The Angry Vegan 8th Mar 2014, 12:28 AM edit delete reply
Not so much a wrap up, but when one session was ending we were discussing the best way to cross a lot of dense jungle in a short time. The leading option was, "Tie the floating disk to a ballista bolt, put everyone with a decent agility score on it, handcuff the cleric to the rope, and shoot at those mountains over there".
Senshuken 8th Mar 2014, 3:07 AM edit delete reply
I'm curios, how did that end?
The Angry Vegan 8th Mar 2014, 5:28 AM edit delete reply
Next session we ended up just going with the boring route and walking. We ran into the undead troll that had stolen it—I mentioned this before, we were gearing up for a big fight when it rolled a natural one on a Will save against Command Undead. Then a bounty hunter got involved and things got confusing fast. That was maybe five sessions ago and now we've traveled through time, explored a lot of ancient ruins, invaded a drow city, and been shunted into a parallel universe.