Page 422 - Smarmony Tries, Part 2

1st Apr 2014, 6:00 AM in Intermission 4
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Smarmony Tries, Part 2
Average Rating: 5 (4 votes)
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Author Notes:

Newbiespud 1st Apr 2014, 6:00 AM edit delete
Author: Digo

Guest Author’s Note: "Inexperienced GMs usually follow patterns in their mistakes, but that's to be expected. Then, once in a while, they completely blow your mind with something you never thought of."

Newbiespud's Note: Happy April Fools! No pranks or jokes over here, just your regularly scheduled guest comics.

Notice: Guest comic submissions are open! Guidelines here. Deadline: January 27th, 2023.



Summoned Singer 1st Apr 2014, 6:04 AM Story Time! edit delete reply
Summoned Singer
I can't believe I made it to one of these first, okay, so tell the forum about a time when a DM, guest or otherwise, threw a complete curve ball at you and your party, mine was when my pops decided to craft an adventure after an episode of Dora, and then actually make her character. She's not half bad.
Digo 1st Apr 2014, 6:21 AM edit delete reply
I think I've mentioned most of the good curveballs already. Still one of the best ones:

My brother ran a game of Toon where the villain found a way that could perminately kill a toon off. Suddenly the game went from silly to a serious race against the clock to save toon town ala "Who Framed Roger Rabbit".

Another fun one was my wizard who had the delusion that his animal familiar was a cursed princess. Turns out he was right and was able to remove the curse.
Specter 1st Apr 2014, 7:45 AM edit delete reply
Once upon a time, there was an elf who was tasked by his kingdom to reach the surrounding capitals and ask for their help. After one goblin siege, a wooden fence blocking the path, and a disgrunted old woodsmen who was paranoid, he came upon a village that was not so desserted. My brother decided to just skip the place, since this kingdom has many inhabbitants that hates non-humans.

He sort of ran into a group of men who were very angry with him, and constantly warned him to leave and never come back. My brother was stubborn and asked if there was a shop willing to sell to him. The conversation lasted for about 10 minutes.

When he was about through with him, he heard a lot of yelling, saying the beast has caught wind of him. He saw a 40ft. shadow in the shaope of this giant bull's head. When the creature came around the building, it turned out to be a giant cow (With horns) and it was pink, with a heart on it side (not the flank, but the gut.)

He left the town very confused.
Digo 1st Apr 2014, 8:32 AM edit delete reply
confusion was probably just the start. XD
Specter 1st Apr 2014, 10:44 AM edit delete reply
Between the giant pink cow, an ancient dragon getting a blood deal from him, and being a kingdom where 99% of the population hates non-humans like they are the plague, (In that order, and many more stuff after words) confusion was his annoying friend.
MWS 2nd Apr 2014, 9:10 PM edit delete reply
I think I already described it in one of the story-times, but for me it would be when the GM drove us to genocide by having barbarians rape a family to death. Made us surprise ourselves, really.
Crystalite 1st Apr 2014, 6:04 AM edit delete reply
Story time! Talk about when the GM's plans changed because of something someone else did.
Summoned Singer 1st Apr 2014, 6:07 AM edit delete reply
Summoned Singer
Double story time? I do believe that was our guest DM letting me keep the hand maiming for that he put in his dungeon after the adventure was over. I dragged his character back to smash the hinges.
Digo 1st Apr 2014, 6:27 AM edit delete reply
AD&D 2e adventure nearly two decades ago: The DM had a drow break into my room at an inn one night and poison my character (it was radom luck of the draw). I had to get the drow a specific magic item in a nearby dungeon in order to get the antidote or else I'm dead in about 3 days.

The party psionic figured out a way to remove the poison due to a loophole in one of his abilities. So now that we don't have to work for the drow, we went to loot the dungeon for ourselves. XD
Kynrasian 1st Apr 2014, 7:16 AM edit delete reply
I dunno about causing a change of plans, but things sure didn't go according to the story arc's main villain's plans when he tried to get us to open a vault for him. It's a bit of a long-winded story though.

The short version is that it ended up with him stuck in the vault and us finishing the story arc with the entire contents of the vault.
Specter 1st Apr 2014, 7:36 AM edit delete reply
This very much relates to how I have my in-game title. We were suppose to enter into this cursed forest to siege this evil overlord's castle, which was on the other side of this forest, and we had to be railroaed through it. (Can't go around)

My little brother was a little more then annoyed by this, and just flat out said, "OK, the railroad rule this time, is we have to go through the forest anyway we can, correct? Not over, not around, and not under. Only through, correct?"


(No one knew where he was going with this, until he made it VERY clear our only obective was to go through) He said he is going to burn the entire forest down, thus killing the curse. (He was beyond proud to have done one thing no else could, unrail the railroad single handedly, despite dieing later.)
Blindfire 1st Apr 2014, 9:36 AM edit delete reply
Well, there was the time my party failed to stop what they thought was a bomb from blowing up the moon during the Gala in our ongoing campaign. Ended up derailing the campaign, destroying Canterlot Castle, flattening a town, and releasing Discord early. Though when they decided, in character I might add, to hunt down the moon pieces on their own the story writes itself.

And that's how me expecting them to use the "Use Bigger Rock" spell backfired spectacularly. It was probably the ticking that did it. Whoops. They're still picking up the pieces, but it's turned into a pretty fun story arc.
Blindfire 1st Apr 2014, 9:37 AM edit delete reply
And because I have to mess up my first comment anywhere, I forgot to mention WHY they're hunting down the moon pieces. Princess Luna went missing when the moon exploded. And one of the players is in her honor guard. Oops. Cue globetrotting adventure!
Specter 1st Apr 2014, 10:42 AM edit delete reply
I feel for the player. It must really suck to be unable to protect your objective from something WAY beyond your power.
Digo 1st Apr 2014, 12:01 PM edit delete reply
I've been there as well. It can get frustratingly so, like one time where there was my character had no way to save a hostage from terrorists. My character simply shot the hostage in the head with the idea better off dead than tortured by evil.

And yet the GM wanted to ding me Exp points for that! D:
I was like "You put my character in this situation and he responded with what he thought was the best solution." My character certainly didn't want to be captured/killed either. :/
Malroth 1st Apr 2014, 4:33 PM edit delete reply
My response to these dilemma are to give the player a cookie, change their alignemnt to evil and give them the XP before the terrorists are even defeated.
Digo 2nd Apr 2014, 4:46 AM edit delete reply
At least there are free cookies.
Kereea 2nd Apr 2014, 5:48 AM edit delete reply
A GM once had a planned TPK where they had a magic-proof enemy quickly take out everyone but my Wu Jen (slightly more complicated wizard from Complete Arcane). Except my Wu Jen had a ton of points in DEX and was carrying Sai and Shuriken, and it turned out the magic-proof boss was weak to DEX attacks (whihc is why it took out our range first). So the DM had to do a rewrite that it was a magic-proof avatar of the big bad instead, and instead of being saved at the last minute by a "mysterious paladin" (aka NPC who would point us to the next stage) the paladin instead showed up late for humorous dialogue...which then pointed us to the next stage.
ANW 1st Apr 2014, 6:09 AM edit delete reply
What's the best prank you have pulled on someone?
No pranks that sent people to the hospital or worse.
Me: you know that hose that comes with a sink sometimes.
Rubber band on switch, and let someone turn on the knob.
Digo 1st Apr 2014, 6:24 AM edit delete reply
Not really a prank, but quite a twisted surprise: When a member of our gaming group was in the hospital, I gathered the rest of the team together and we held our game in his ward room. XD

Was quite a funny session, though we did get kicked out after a couple hours because visiting time was over (and they were giving us funny looks about playing Shadowrun in a hospital).

Our sick friend was totally taken by surprise though.
Specter 1st Apr 2014, 7:31 AM edit delete reply
... (Series of slow, stunned claps.)

... WOW. You are one of the greatest individuals I have ever come to know, spending your time in a hospital with a friend to play a games togethor.

(If something like that happened to me, they would just go on holiday or something.)

As for the question, I have never pulled a prank that I can remember. I live a boring lifestyle.
Digo 1st Apr 2014, 8:35 AM edit delete reply
Aww, thanks. I have a loathing of being in hospitals (nothing against the folks who work there. I just have an adversion of the fact there are a lot of ill/dying/dead bodies around me), but I make it a point to go visit people in them because I'm sure a little joy helps the healing process.

I've never been admitted as a patient to a hospital, but I reckon I'd be bored to tears if I were.
Specter 1st Apr 2014, 10:32 AM edit delete reply
Same thing about being admitted. But for the fear thing, I kind of enjoy it there, probably cause I really hope to see the first zombie or something. (I know it can't happen, but I just can't help myself.) Plus if I get sick, they are pretty likely to have what I need.
Zuche 1st Apr 2014, 3:17 PM edit delete reply
I'm kind of your opposite on that score, Digo. I find great solace in hospitals, sometimes to the point of creeping other people out. I haven't enjoyed the suffering from either side, but the things I've experienced there as both visitor and patient have been amazing.

(Word of Advice: Everyone on a neurology ward will look at you funny if you start whistling the Scarecrow's song from "The Wizard of Oz". Go figure it's the one place everyone knows that tune.)
Digo 1st Apr 2014, 4:31 PM edit delete reply
Heh, have to remember that tune... been a while.
Curb 1st Apr 2014, 7:56 AM edit delete reply
Hmm, something that changed the GM's plans huh...well there was the time we were cornered by the City Guard(GM liked to screw with us by getting us caught and have to escape alot) and burned down that 100 year old pud in D&D, never use burning hands on a 100 year old liqueur soaked bartop...burned nicely.
Curb 1st Apr 2014, 8:03 AM edit delete reply
On a side note, thanks to some brainstorming, Trixie Lulamoon is now the lead PC in a homebrewed Supernatural Dieselpunk styled game we are testing.

Trixie is a gun weilding Psychic Investigator who works the mean streets of the great city of Canterlot. She goes up against supernatural monsters, psychic criminals and just plain old thugs. One of the rules was no magic in the game, so all Unicorns are now either Master or Latent psychics, Trixie is a Master Psychic. We also chose not to include the Mane 6(They show up in enough RPGs these days In fact, two of my other projects barely mention them and one of those has Trixie working for Luna). Anyways, Trixie has two NPC office girls, Sugar and Spice(rule 63 snips and snails) who do alot of the research and archiving for her. While the Mane Six arn't mentioned, there is the Council of Three, who try to maintain the balance between the Supernatural and the Mundane. Celsetia, Chrysallis and Discord make up the Council. Right now, only Trixie has been completed and tested, I'm working on the NPC stats for Sugar and Spice as well as some basic thugs and other classes. Just thought I'd drop this here, see what ya'll think.
Digo 1st Apr 2014, 8:37 AM edit delete reply
Ok this has my interest. Any other PCs on the team yet, or is it just Trixie for now? :3
Curb 1st Apr 2014, 9:09 AM edit delete reply
As of right now, it's just Trixie. I plan on building at least 3 to 4 other characters that can be played right as they are(level 5) and use them as examples of how to build a character for the setting. It is a D20 setting using the rules from Heroes Unlimited. I figure at least two non-psychichs(most likely earth ponies) and at least one pegasus. Luna is a wildcard in the concept, I haven't chosen her place yet. She might end up as a powerful figure in the criminal world, just not sure. If she does, the CMC, now grown(as are Sugar and Spice) might work for her.
Specter 1st Apr 2014, 10:37 AM edit delete reply
You intrigue me Curb, I hope your game works and is greatly succseful.

(Also, if you are looking for players, I will be very happy to join. I just hope I have the right resources if that is the case.)
Raxon 1st Apr 2014, 8:53 AM edit delete reply
Does anyone else hear that ringing? Because I called it!

The GM's little sister takes over, princesses, pretty dresses, the whole nine yards!
Digo 1st Apr 2014, 10:11 AM edit delete reply
Well, it wasn't an obscure idea. ^_^
Azureink 1st Apr 2014, 10:35 AM edit delete reply
And then right after the "I do's" the trap is sprung and the party is killed. The GM's little sister giggles at tricking them all.
Specter 1st Apr 2014, 10:39 AM edit delete reply
Bells? Maybe. I can tell there is no troll (Unless it's the sister), and you didn't mention a wedding. (But in hindsight, it was probably a given.)
Raxon 1st Apr 2014, 12:43 PM edit delete reply
Specter! What happened to your face!? Your face is goooooooooooone!
Specter 1st Apr 2014, 1:40 PM edit delete reply
It was burnt off with a laser. The reconstructive surgery still hasn't happened yet, and I'm getting a little bit annoyed at the incompetent hospital staff who can't timekeep. Other than that though, total amazeballs.
Specter 1st Apr 2014, 4:00 PM edit delete reply
Specter 1st Apr 2014, 4:03 PM edit delete reply
Sorry, during the weekdays between 7:20-2:50, I use the school computers. I have time during 2 classes, before school, and during lunch to check stuff.

However has the gull to use my name should not do that again, I don't care if it is the 1st of April, I don't celebrate the day (Sorry everypony), and would prefer it if some individuals wouldn't take advantage of it over me.
Specter 1st Apr 2014, 4:04 PM edit delete reply
Also, I was wondering how long it would take someone to see that.
Digo 1st Apr 2014, 4:33 PM edit delete reply
Or not see that depending on your angle. :3
Midnight Blaze 1st Apr 2014, 12:06 PM I hate Physics edit delete reply
Physics is not your friend. Physics is your annoying roommate that follows you everywhere.
RileaSW 1st Apr 2014, 12:52 PM edit delete reply
My curveball is as a GM. Let me preamble the result by saying that one of my players is deeply rooted to the belief of the "Always means no exceptions" thought when it comes to monster entries.

My campaign only has 10 dragons in the entire world. They each rule over a country and have their own personalities. My players are too afraid to go to any of the Chromatic dragon's territories because of the one players warning on how dragons think, despite the fact he hasn't met THESE dragons yet.

Anyway, my players begin in the gold dragon's territory, and she sends them on a quest to find out what is happening with her sisters (They were actually all part of Tiamat once). "Always Alignment" player is going on and on about how the group shouldn't just trust the gold dragon, but they should trust her without question. So while they are at the Bronze Dragon's territory, I show them the big bad of my campaign when the gold dragon shows up, fights and absorbs the Bronze Dragon, and destroys the entire city with an amped Word of Power.

The look on "Always Alignment" player's face was priceless.
Digo 1st Apr 2014, 1:53 PM edit delete reply
Awesome. That must have been a kodak moment for sure.
Specter 1st Apr 2014, 4:05 PM edit delete reply
That is why I go with the tune, "Don't trust what you know (META), but go with what you have to know (Nothing)."
kriss1989 1st Apr 2014, 2:17 PM edit delete reply
*Previously, on Friendship is Dragons*

NotRaxon: Give me the codes, or I will destroy Jupiter!
Raxon: Never, you killed my cousin!
NotRaxon: No. I AM your cousin!

Digo: Damn it,I know who the traitor is. Get the Whithouse evacuated now!

Spectre: We have to stop that satellite launch!
FanOfMostEverything: It's too late. Now, it's all up to him.

Kriss1989: Hello there, care to join me and watch the world end?
NewbieSpud: No, I'm here to finish this, once and for all!

*And now, the thrilling conclusion!*

*If any of that had happened. Happy Nonsense Day!*
Specter 1st Apr 2014, 4:13 PM edit delete reply
(Face hoof)

You got my name wrong.
People even get my real name wrong.

--After Credits--

(Phone Ringing...)

All previously mentioned: Hello?
ANW: Want to play a game?
Digo 1st Apr 2014, 4:34 PM edit delete reply
At least you got the swanky James Bond villain organization.
ANW 1st Apr 2014, 4:46 PM edit delete reply
It's called the nonarry game.
NeutralDemon 1st Apr 2014, 6:29 PM edit delete reply
People always get my name wrong.
I mean seriously it isn't that hard.

Ian A. Macdonald but nobody can get that right. I've been called: Aen, Eon, Ethan, Ean, and worst of all McDonald. I'm not a restaurant chain, no I don't get free food, stop singing that song. Even autocorrect gets it wrong.

At least I can type my screen name half the time
Specter 1st Apr 2014, 6:39 PM edit delete reply
My name is Matthew. I have been called Michael and James. I don't even know where James came from.
Raxon 1st Apr 2014, 7:18 PM edit delete reply
Imma call you Smitty!
Specter 1st Apr 2014, 9:55 PM edit delete reply
... sure.
Digo 2nd Apr 2014, 4:48 AM edit delete reply
My real name is pretty much one-of-a-kind, so I'm used to just getting nicknames instead. My favorites are:

The Deeg
D. Dude
The D-Man
Lime Dog 10th Apr 2014, 1:11 PM edit delete reply
My last name is Sender. To date, I have received mail addressed to Bender, Mender, Sander, Saundeer, and Kitz.

FanOfMostEverything 2nd Apr 2014, 6:26 AM edit delete reply
Hooray! People know who I am! I bet I have a small fanbase with DeviantArt groups and everything.
Raxon 2nd Apr 2014, 1:41 PM edit delete reply
Oh man, Digo. That has such douche potential.

"She was beggin for it, so I gave her The Deeg!"

Now I picture you wearing spray on tan, a pink button up shirt with the chest open, and a white sun visor turned sideways and upside down.

Digo, please, for the love of all that is tasteful, PUT THE BLING DOWN!
Specter 2nd Apr 2014, 4:08 PM edit delete reply
Hmm... (Checking reads and detectors)...

Good news everypony, after a lengthy analysis, it turns out Raxon isn't completely insane, as shown by his recent comment.

(Up next, C.S.I. Equestria.)
Raxon 2nd Apr 2014, 9:53 PM edit delete reply
I'm not totally crazy. I'm sane enough that I would never admit it to anyone if I thought I could gain superpowers by feeding alley cats to the subhuman idiots in the PTA.

Which I would never, ever do. Because I'm a functional crazy, not a construction paper and padded room crazy.

Well, okay, there was that one time I dosed a keg of beer with two liters of ipecac. It was a frat party! What was I supposed to spike it with, vodka?
Digo 3rd Apr 2014, 4:44 AM edit delete reply
LOL, well being hispanic and growing up in Miami, I did the shirt thing for a time (it was mostly acceptable in the 80s). Can't say I'm a fan of bling or spray on tans.

Still, that was a pretty funny thought. XD
kriss1989 3rd Apr 2014, 5:04 AM edit delete reply
I'm a fan of your work on FimFiction.
FanOfMostEverything 4th Apr 2014, 5:16 AM edit delete reply
What can I say? There was a marked absence of Friendship is Magic: the Gathering crossovers. I found a niche.
Disloyal Subject 6th Apr 2014, 3:37 AM Magic? Magic! MAAGIIC! edit delete reply
Dangit. My reading qeue is too long as is. Between that & chemistry, I'll never finish my own writings..
Though on that note, at least the Mane6 arr easy/fun enough to align with colors... Azorius for Twilight, Grixis for Rarity, Selesnya for Fluttershy, Naya for Applejack, Rakdos Boggarts for Pinkie, and... hmm. Progenitus for Dash? I can't be the only person fool enough to draft 2-5 decks for each of them...
I look forward to reading your work! And I apologize to any laymen who I baffled with my ramblings.
Wyvern 1st Apr 2014, 2:31 PM Yamara edit delete reply
I've never been captured by invitation before.

Lovely shout-out to Yamara, which might be lost on younger players. I've often wished to have an antagonist as cultured and irritating as Ogrek the Undisciplined.
Zuche 1st Apr 2014, 3:27 PM edit delete reply
Thank you, Wyvern. I was trying to remember where I'd read that. Nice selection, Digo.
Specter 1st Apr 2014, 4:10 PM edit delete reply
Huzzah, culture/lore I don't know.

I learn something new everyday.
Digo 1st Apr 2014, 4:35 PM edit delete reply
You get a cookie. :D
Glad everyone likes it.
Specter 1st Apr 2014, 5:28 PM edit delete reply
Sweet! Wait, is it love flavored?
Raxon 2nd Apr 2014, 12:34 AM edit delete reply
Love flavored? Ew. That can't be sanitary.
Digo 2nd Apr 2014, 4:50 AM edit delete reply
Its sincere. Which is about the equivilent of sanitary for us changelings. I think?
Specter 2nd Apr 2014, 6:20 AM edit delete reply
Well, if it's close to love flavored, then I'm good, you can have it Digo. I'm trying to be a fooditarian.
wynni 1st Apr 2014, 4:32 PM Only knows curveballs edit delete reply
Unfortunately, our games are usually so circumlocutive a fastball would trip us up. However, the most memorable curve we were ever thrown was the epic battle with the archmage of Evil....only to find out the hapless apprentice we rescued was the actual big bad. >< We won that one by the skin of our teeth.
Blyndir 1st Apr 2014, 4:52 PM edit delete reply
Anyone else suddenly think of:

"Expressive Glances will be our Lances/ And pops of Sillery our light artillery. We'll storm their bowers with scented showers of fairest flowers that we can buy."

Or am I the only one who saw that play?
Digo 2nd Apr 2014, 4:50 AM edit delete reply
doesn't sound familair. What is the name of the play?
Blyndir 2nd Apr 2014, 5:24 AM edit delete reply
Princess Ida.

This is from Act 1, when Prince Hilarion decides to set out on an epic quest to woo his betrothed who has denounced all men and founded a women's college.
XanatosDrake 1st Apr 2014, 11:27 PM edit delete reply
I threw the dm a curveball by betraying the party for no apparent reason at an extremely inconvenient time. I coup de graced an important npc during a death game. Not my fault that i forgot that she was possessed by a demon that was released into the real world when she died. And i did warn everyone that my 15 year old halfling was a vindictive little punker. the npc really pissed her off.
Desparil 2nd Apr 2014, 7:25 AM edit delete reply
My brother and I once threw the DM a huge curveball in an old AD&D game. He had this whole plot involving diabolists or something for us, but we also found out that a wyvern that lived nearby was harassing local trade caravans. We figured that seemed more interesting than some lame cult, so off we went.

First, the DM tried to deter us with a giant snake on the way to the wyvern nest. We dealt with that without a scratch - two hit KO, in fact, between a magic missile and a critical hit that I scored. Then we made our way up to its nest and surprised it - my brother was a thief and I was a fighter/thief - and tied up its wings so it couldn't fly. It was still a tough battle, but at the end of the day nobody died.

We got back to town, and the DM had decided to move the plot along. The cultists were attacking the town, and the whole place was on fire! With the help of the town guard (though we let the mean guard captain die), we managed to kill most of them, including the cult leader, but not before they summoned a pit fiend. Mind you, we were still level 1 - the wyvern was worth a lot, but not nearly enough to level up. It was supposed to force us to flee, and getting rid of it would be the focus of a whole campaign arc.

I was having none of that, though. I made my saving throw against the pit fiend's fear aura and brazenly went up to loot the cult leader and the guard captain. Just to add insult to injury, I then took a detour to the weapon shop to loot two magic swords and a magic bow that were too expensive for us to buy earlier. It turned out that a scroll of banishment was among the cult leader's possessions, so we took that to the highest-level NPC cleric in the area and sent that sucker straight back to Hell.

And then we were level 5.
Curb 2nd Apr 2014, 12:33 PM edit delete reply
Well done, well down indeed.
dbronyzero 2nd Apr 2014, 9:23 PM edit delete reply
Anyone else here the big news out of Hasbro?

MLP Spinoff! Bon Bon gets her own series!
The Future of MLP! Spike finally gets to shine!

Wow, bottom of the page. Hope someone sees this.
Digo 3rd Apr 2014, 4:46 AM edit delete reply
I showed the second link to a couple friends who are big on Anime but never watch MLP. They both really thought it was a new Anime series so... props. XD
Disloyal Subject 6th Apr 2014, 3:41 AM Dragonfire edit delete reply
/mlp/ informed me of Dragonfire. (Maybe they aren't such degenerate creeps after all.) Bloody Hasbro. Maybe if we throw enough at them it'll get made after all. I must have watched that 'trailer' dozens of times...