Page 426 - Smarmony Tries, Part 6

10th Apr 2014, 6:00 AM in Intermission 4
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Smarmony Tries, Part 6
Average Rating: 5 (3 votes)
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Author Notes:

Newbiespud 10th Apr 2014, 6:00 AM edit delete
Author: Digo

Guest Author’s Note: "Sometimes it is the little things that we remember our campaigns by."

Notice: Guest comic submissions are open! Guidelines here. Deadline: January 27th, 2023.



Specter 10th Apr 2014, 6:01 AM edit delete reply
Aww, that's nice. Too bad no such thing happens to me.

(Edit) Wait... Is that the freaking lock box!
CharginChuck 10th Apr 2014, 6:05 AM edit delete reply
And now we know what's inside! CAKE!
Digo 10th Apr 2014, 6:12 AM edit delete reply
Building frienships since the days of the Vikings!
Thar 10th Apr 2014, 8:58 AM edit delete reply
So THAT'S what's inside the thing! A bit anti-climactic, but I'd take it so long as it's both chocolate and a fair size (aka not a single slice that can be finished off in three bites).
dbronyzero 10th Apr 2014, 5:32 PM edit delete reply
Actually, if you've been following along on Equestria Daily, they kinda, sorta, already showed what's in the box.

Whoops, wrong link, here we go:
Oh, and it turns out I was right 3 months ago ;)

Oh, and just because:

Edit: Okay, who's kid is this?
It's the dead alewives all over again!
Bombom13 10th Apr 2014, 8:29 PM edit delete reply
Hey, some of us like vanilla.
Digo 12th Apr 2014, 7:47 AM edit delete reply
Vanilla is a great base flavor to add toppings to. It has possibilities.
Stairc 12th Apr 2014, 11:16 AM edit delete reply
This comic series was awesome. I want to read more about the adventures of new DM diamond tiara!
Stairc 12th Apr 2014, 11:16 AM edit delete reply
This comic series was awesome. I want to read more about the adventures of new DM diamond tiara!
andreas002 10th Apr 2014, 6:09 AM edit delete reply
Seems the smarmony gang prevented the cake from being a lie. ^_^
ANW 10th Apr 2014, 6:10 AM edit delete reply
Aw, what a way to end on a happy note.
Which members of the group do you think corispond with which EOH?
Crystalite 10th Apr 2014, 7:09 AM edit delete reply
I think they made that joke:

Derpy: Strength
Daring Do: Dexterity
Redheart: Fortitude
Zecora: Wisdom?
Cheerilee: Charisma
Trixie: Intellect
Digo 10th Apr 2014, 7:29 AM edit delete reply
Well, the joke was about being the six D&D stat types. I think this is a question of which Elements of Harmony each member would best fit. :)
FanOfMostEverything 10th Apr 2014, 8:09 AM edit delete reply
Well, going by the fight scene last page, Daring works for Loyalty, Cheerilee for Kindness, and Zecora for Generosity. Trixie's a shoe-in for Magic, naturally. That leaves Redheart and Ditzy for Honesty and Laughter. They seem to work if applied respectively.
dbronyzero 10th Apr 2014, 4:32 PM edit delete reply
And on the 10th hour, Celestia said:

"Let there be source"

Oh, and I agree with FOME on the elements, and source for laughter:
bonus (princess) source

Edit: That was weird? Posted above FOME somehow. Hopefully this is better?
FanOfMostEverything 11th Apr 2014, 3:04 PM edit delete reply
My favorite SFM animation. Derpy is best pony and best princess.
FanOfMostEverything 10th Apr 2014, 6:46 AM edit delete reply
Hmm. On the one hand, the Tomb of Horrors is well enough known that the party can prepare for the death traps.

On the other, the Smarmony DM will probably mix them up...

In any case, thank you for another fantastic adventure, Digo.
Digo 10th Apr 2014, 7:29 AM edit delete reply
Thanks! Glad you liked it! I had a lot of fun with this one. :3
KiraFan05 10th Apr 2014, 7:36 AM edit delete reply
Sounds like my old DM.
dracostarcloud 10th Apr 2014, 7:51 AM edit delete reply
Some people say it's the journey that matters, not the destination, but sometimes you need that endgame, that final boss, that mission accomplished to feel like you're getting somewhere.

This is tabletop gaming, not Mr. Bones' Wild Ride.
Mordenheim 10th Apr 2014, 7:58 AM Story Time: Punished by the GM edit delete reply
YAY! I get to set storytime! XD

Tell us about a time where you got one over on the DM and he enacted swift and terrible vengeanceo n the party, or at least tried to...

My own, we had tracked down the BBEG to a ruined tower in the Sea of Dust. (for those who don't know, this was a wasteland where instead of sand,t he desert was made of powdered lye, goggles and scarves all around, guys!) Fed up with dealing with him,w e wanted to make sure there was no way he could ever come back, so after we defeated him, we had our cleric summon water on him and buried his body in the lye to be dissoved.

We were immediately informed that the party was being attacked by a Greater Water Elemental.

Where the HELL did he find enough water for that in the desert?! The GM just said "he has his ways"... ugh... TPK...

Lesson? Never try too hard to kill the recurring BBEG unless you're SURE it's the end of the campaign...
Digo 10th Apr 2014, 9:05 AM edit delete reply
I had a similar issue when I got the party to go along with my plan against the BBEG. Our GM gave this wizard every cheesy spell defense possible to ensure we couldn't touch him, including wards to ban any kind of teleport or dimension door.

So the party "attacked" the load-bearing structure of his dungeon room with a lot of explosive magic items. The BBEG was buried under a few hundred tons of rock. Yeah, nothing the GM could do would save the BBEG from THAT.

...but of course, he subscribes to the "you didn't find a body" logic, so the darn wizard came back as a half-lich and managed to murder half the party before we all gave up on that campaign.
Dragonflight 10th Apr 2014, 9:41 AM edit delete reply
I recall a game like that. It was a "Psi-World" game, using the old Champions game system, and set in Anne McCaffrey's "To Ride Pegasus" reality... with a few additions. David Xanatos from the old Gargoyles cartoon was a rich billionaire industrialist with a hidden psi power, and he was recruiting the PC's to handle his problems. We were more or less in the Gargoyles' seat, hiding our abilities, and somewhat dubiously helping the man we *knew* we'd have to deal with eventually...

Anyway, it eventually became obvious the game was on rails. The GM had plans on when important historical things happened, and all we could do was deal with little events within the situation. Nothing we did could significantly alter the story path. It got to a point where in a city riot, we went full-on total reveal on our powers, and did a full Hero Team Stomp on the bad guys, with cameras rolling and everything.

No repercussions. The world isn't suddenly a better place. While the riot was quelled, the authorities somehow magically intercepted literally *every* broadcast transmission and made all the Truth go away.

So we sat the GM down and explained the problem, and told him that if he couldn't change his tune, the game was done. The GM decided to pack up at that point, because it became obvious his game management skills needed work.

Eventually he did better, although I think he needs to be reminded periodically. I came up with a Companion character for his Firefly game much later on, and he never created so much as a single plot arc for me, largely I think because he didn't know what to do with a Companion character. So I consider it a partial success.
dracostarcloud 10th Apr 2014, 9:46 AM edit delete reply
Maybe the DM didn't get revenge, but the dice sure did.

It was just last night, we were finishing up one of Pathfinder's big modules. We'd done all the skill challenges last time, so this time was almost one big running battle.

We start off in a mansion to question the owner, but find instead a gang of assassins. During this large running battle, which was supposed to be three different encounters, but the sorcerer kept triggering new encounters before we'd finished the last ones. A thug was trying to throw a dagger at our gunslinger, who immediately went prone. The knife would've hit, but the gunslinger made an argument that even though the thug had the high ground, the railing the gunslinger was behind provided a cover bonus. This extra bonus allowed the Gunslinger to avoid harm, but the dice struck back when the Gunslinger got up to fire: he rolled a 1 and broke his gun, so while the rest of us were laughing about it and chasing the thug, the Gunslinger got to spend his next turn clearing the gun.
Specter 10th Apr 2014, 11:09 AM edit delete reply
Ha ha ha, so many memories.

My older brother was the DM, and as usual, wanted a dungeon we couldn't get past. Fast forward 3 months and we are about to fight the BBED (Dragon), and for a twist that made the entire party freak out, was no more then an event from MGS3 with the spirit walk thing.

Each individual had to fight every person they have killed in the campaign so far. This is how it paned out.

(Party leader) Paladin: 5 demons, 2 burglars, 29 Kobolds, and 1 Succubus.(Little Brother) Pyromancer: 1,000+ Civilians, and he stresses it was an "Accident".
(Meat Shield) Barbarian: 9 Orcs, 12 skeletons, and a Alicorn (your choice on who it was, cause I never found out).
(Healer) Druid: 1 ent, 2 vampires, and their own familiar times 20.
(Support) Cleric: A diety, and 30,000+ Acolytes.
(Me) Monk: The rest of the party.

... It was technically not a TPK, but I have my doubts.
Norgarth 10th Apr 2014, 1:54 PM edit delete reply
BeyondTheFail 10th Apr 2014, 3:39 PM How I Died, or Final Boss Fight Shenanigans edit delete reply
So, I had an instance where I terribly broke the BBEG in Pokemon Tabletop, and died afterwards. I was playing a Gotta Catch 'Em All type with very low HP (important later). I had a Shuckle (known to be a tanky 'mon with no attack strength) out in Pokemon Tabletop, and had put no points into Special Attack against our Special Attack-heavy BBEG (a Mewtwo, primary Psychic user).

I had the Shuckle use Power Split, adding the Special Attack stats of the Shuckle and the Mewtwo together to leave it with a lackluster Special Attack stat and a less spectacular Attack stat.

Mewtwo used Earthquake, which is a Once Per Battle move that uses the Attack stat. I then remembered that Shuckle knew Encore (which requires, if an attack is used, for the attack to be repeated, failing if it is at the wrong move frequency for 2+1d4 turns). Rolled the d4...five turns. Hell yeah. Mewtwo was resigned to opening the portal to summon the Final Boss (Giratina, the scary Ghost Dragon).

The GMs revenge began after Mewtwo had summoned Giratina and been knocked out. Giratina, toward the end of the battle, ended up using an Area of Effect attack called Hyper Voice (normal type, may cause flinching), which hits Pokemon and trainers. The one person who was as squishy as I was ended up using Protect to protect himself. The person who was slightly less squishy than me barely avoided having to roll for death. I was not so lucky, and was dropped lower than -100% HP. Rolled my death savings throw (a d20 which had to be under 16 for me to survive)...of all the times to get a crit. I was deader than dead.
Blues 10th Apr 2014, 5:49 PM edit delete reply
Well, as DM, there was the one time the players broke my campaign... So after a week of retooling and a time skip, I took two beloved NPCs and brainwashed them, gave them armor and weapons, and sent them after the party.

Everyone ended up fine. Eventually. But it was still satisfying to see the heartbreak in one player's face, because these two NPCs were like his best friends/mentors in the music performance business.
L 10th Apr 2014, 9:19 PM edit delete reply
Oh, boy.

We really managed to mess with our GM in one campaign we did in Pathfinder, with everything and anything ranging from using Rope Trick to cancel out a Chaos Dunk, befriending fire itself and cancelling out the first battle of the entire game, and managing to get one of his powerful midbosses to temporarily join our party on a technicality. Near the endgame, he basically had the BBEG freeze us all, monologue, and torment us before killing my character with a falling steamroller. We let him get away with it since he really deserved the chance to make us suffer the way we made him suffer. Plus, we had a Scroll of Resurrection, so it was no real loss since it was near the end of the campaign.
Dragonflight 10th Apr 2014, 11:23 PM edit delete reply
I recall a game I was in a long time ago. The GM didn't run many games, he preferred to play. But for that game, he had an interesting cyberpunk concept he wanted to run.

So we were all ready, had new characters rolled, and he begins with, "It's the year 2035."

One of my other friends piped up with, "Why?"

The GM stopped, and stared at the other guy for something like five minutes, while we start snickering, then laughing. The question was so far out of left field with no warning that the GM totally blanked on what he was going to say next.

These days, whenever I start a game, or even just a session, with "It's the year <fill in the blank,>" I always wait for the inevitable "Why?" because I *know* it's coming. I'm rarely disappointed, either. :)
JR Klein 10th Apr 2014, 8:18 AM edit delete reply
Trixie: What's the reward?
DM's sister: Cake!
Returning DM: No! The cake is a lie!

(I'm sorry. It just had to be said.)
kriss1989 10th Apr 2014, 8:38 AM edit delete reply
Well I've revised my opinion of Smarmoney up a few notches after this storyline. Really a lot of their problems from what I can see is the DM is a douche.
Digo 10th Apr 2014, 9:06 AM edit delete reply
Maybe if I do one last series they get rid of their GM in some spectacular fashion?
kriss1989 11th Apr 2014, 1:34 PM edit delete reply
Yep, their new Smarmoney DM should be McCarthy to go with origional DM of Lauren for Harmony.
Dragonflight 10th Apr 2014, 9:35 AM edit delete reply
Heh. They'll replace the GM with the kid sister, and game happily ever after! :)
Malroth 12th Apr 2014, 12:50 AM edit delete reply
Yes Old man henderson needs to "Save" the smarmony campaign
XandZero2 10th Apr 2014, 9:18 AM edit delete reply
Not much to say other than I enjoyed the story arc. Thanks for continuing the Smarmony Mis-Adventures Digo.

Also, maybe in the last series you write, they could get rid of their GM, and get his little sister? After all, the plot twist of having the party be invited into the wedding, only to realize they're surrounded by evil vampirical creatures? That was a nice touch.
Digo 10th Apr 2014, 10:15 AM edit delete reply
Thanks! I certainly will consider the ideas if I do another. :3
Eyepoppee 10th Apr 2014, 9:20 AM edit delete reply
I'm confused. I've just assumed the DM in these is the same DM who DMs for the main comic's group. Does that mean this DM is the other DM's evil twin? Evil clone? Evil some other thing that's closely related to the regular comic's non-evil DM?
dracostarcloud 10th Apr 2014, 9:57 AM edit delete reply
It's the mirror universe. The players of Trixie and the gang are identical to the players of Twilight and friends, but they have goatees.
Digo 10th Apr 2014, 10:16 AM edit delete reply
Nah, unrelated DMs. This one is just the jerkish type that strives to just kill PCs instead of promote interesting adventures and fun. :3
dbronyzero 10th Apr 2014, 4:41 PM edit delete reply
I give you:

Trixie's player!
(Yes, it's a REALLY BAD edit, but meh!)
Digo 12th Apr 2014, 7:48 AM edit delete reply
Works good as an avatar though ^_^
GrayGriffin 10th Apr 2014, 12:36 PM edit delete reply
Question that I'm surprised no one has asked yet: For your RPing group, which Elements of Harmony do you think each character would correspond to?

For my PTU group:
Honesty = Vern the Ranger (Most uncomfortable with lying about things, and most likely to want to handle things as legally as possible. Although he actually has a better Guile skill than half the group...)
Kindness = Fiona the Musician (Most tenderhearted and most likely to be gentle towards the other characters. Most of the group is somewhat prickly/awkward. She also has the highest Charm in the team.)
Laughter = Jake the Capture Specialist (Although he hasn't been a part of the game for a while, he did go on a journey to face a literal trial by fire, where he learned the art of punning and joking in serious situations.)
Generosity = Gene the Steel Ace (She got a whole bunch of money as a present during our Christmas special episode, and immediately spent a bunch of it to pay for a mechanical heart for Fiona's heavily injured Aron.)
Loyalty = Nira the Touched of Terrakion (My character! She's always the last to run from danger, and would never think of leaving any of her friends behind. Not to mention that Loyalty is one of her patron's domains.)
Magic = Anza the Aura Guardian/Kyla the Clairvoyant (Both of them have supernatural powers, so it's kind of a toss-up between the two of them. Kyla seems to be a bit better at the "forming bonds of friendship" thing though.)

Yes, we actually had a long, long discussion on this. We've also discussed even more ridiculous crossovers, which I will share if anyone is interested...
kriss1989 11th Apr 2014, 1:54 PM edit delete reply
Hmm, I should mention that our group is a bit small, so I'll be picking characters from multiple campaigns to fill out the list.

Honesty - Victor Vandraste the 4E Paladin: Blut, honest, and simple. He wouldn't understand sarcasm if it walked up and smacked him in the head...wisdom was his dump stat. But regardless he was honest, noble, and kept his word. Even if keeping it turned out to be much harder than imagined.

Loyalty - Lux Thunderborn the 4E Barbarian: Mess with her friends or innocent people, and you die. She doesn't negotiate. She punched (a) Death in the nuts, robed a bank in the realm of Law, and currently is prepping to fight a super dracolich to save her tribe, which banished her years ago. She doesn't care. They're family and she's protecting them.

Generosity - the entire 4E party: As I mentioned before, they give away magical items and small fortunes in gold to help those in need without hesitation or gain. They are awesome.

Laughter - Martain O'Donnel Er Wyrmhold, Dragon Age Mage: To start off with the guy, as his code name when conducting secret business for the Circle, chose the name John Jacob Jinglehimmerschmit. His reasoning? It's so stupid nobody would ever chose it for a false name so it has to be real. He is also obsessed with bread, does witty banter, and is the but monkey of so manny jokes that he actually earned a perk called "Unbroken by Adversity".

Magic - Davith Grimm, 4E Warlock: The glu that holds the party together, comes up with the (on occasion) brilliant plans, and is on a personal journey of growth, understanding, and ascending to a higher state of being to gain a noble title and rule over a magical land...look the campaign started before MLP:FiM even premiered. But yeah he's kind of a less sane Twilight. Yes, less sane.

Kindness - ........damn it!
Disloyal Subject 11th Apr 2014, 6:13 PM Harmony edit delete reply
By the Light of the Moon, YES. I was waiting for this question; I just didn't know it yet.
I think I'll pull a Raxon and tell of the party from my writings:
Honesty: Gruk, the Arctic Half-orc eunuch paladin. His allegiance is complicated (he was raised in a Chaotic Evil monastery of the god of slaughter, whose monks were surprised when he slaughtered them), but he's open and upfront about everything. He gets to stay mysterious solely because those who live long enough for it to be relevant (ie the party) are afraid to ask.
Laughter: Xar'maq the drow rogue. Whether he's pulling pranks, out whoring, talking the sorcerer into opening a pub, or sadistically torturing rude people, he's always out to make sure everyone has a good time.
Kindness: Balur, the Dragonborn cleric of Bahamut. (For bonus points, he started off as meek as Fluttershy!) Recruited by a gang of kinda bastardly folks, he manages to encourage them to the small acts of kindness that sorta redeem them, and is the consistently nice member.
Disloyal Subject 11th Apr 2014, 6:25 PM Harmonics, cont. edit delete reply
Continued (I hate touchscreens SO MUCH):
Loyalty- Aurochs the Minotaur slave. The party might not've freed him when they bought him, they were better than doing construction work for drow who took bets on what he could survive, and soon he legitimately enjoyed their company. Mess with anyone who's showed him kindness, and you get the horns. (Metaphorically speaking. In practice, it'll be 1d4-1 greataxes, 0 being a fist and some harsh words.)
Generosity- Rain, the nymphomaniacal Razorclaw Shifter barbarian. Mainly because she barely has any understanding of the concept of property, but still.
Magic- Colin, the Hobgoblin munchkin (the sole reason I statted them as gestalts was to give him Fighter feats, full Sorcerer casting, and a Druid dip later for flavor.) Aside from being a rebellious pawn of extraplanar entities of various alignments, and being posessed by a Celestial (which he hates, by the way), he's the leader, the man with the plan, the guy who made the group happen and resolves more disputes than any other one member. He has his quirks, but they all do. Oh, and building his own sorcerer's tower in the forest for researching epic spells and soul fusions helps, too.
Digo 12th Apr 2014, 7:50 AM edit delete reply
Heh, gonna save myself the headache and just say they're all too evil to be in harmony. XD

Disloyal Subject 12th Apr 2014, 7:31 PM Harmony edit delete reply
Evil can be harmonious, even if it isn't always! (That tends to make it horifically successful, after all, which can be bad if the protagonists aren't the evil in question.)
*resists the urge to clutter the comments with 2 more parties' EoH alignments*
RobinBobcat 10th Apr 2014, 7:28 PM edit delete reply
It is worth noting that my LARP character has faced death and dismemberment on the promise of baked goods.
Sure, gold and silver are fine and good, but you can get those *anywhere*.
Dragonflight 10th Apr 2014, 11:34 PM edit delete reply
LARPs. Oh, don't get me started. Okay, get me started. :)

For about ten years or so, we ran a LARP based out of the Ottawa region. Now, to put it in perspective, our LARP would involve between thirty to fifty people, a fairly large campsite or nature trail, several hundred dollars of homemade props, and lots and lots of prep time with four or five "Refs" and a GM. It took a whole weekend. We'd show up on gamesite at around 10am, and the game wouldn't end until about 3PM or so on Sunday. (Yes, that means the Refs could be called on to referee a combat in the wee hours of the morning. And it happened a few times, too.)

Anyway, One of the people had put together a twisted version of the old Lewis Carrol novel which he called, "Malice in Wanderland." One of the characters was based on the Cheshire cat, except he was a leprechaun. To set this properly, the guy they chose is something over 6 feet, and at the time, was thin as a rail. He was dressed in green, and was so good as an actor that he could sell the idea that he was a two foot nothing leprechaun.

One of the things that happened in our LARP society was that players almost never revealed to other people what was in their initial character briefing. Which was often a pain, because sometimes that data was meant to be shared. So anyway, this guy meets the leprechaun, who asks him *why* he's wandering around the adventurer-thick woods that day. The player responds that he likes to meet new people.

So the leprechaun smirks, points at the guy's shoes, and says, "Well now, me laddie! This be your lucky day! From now on, your shoes can talk!"

Immediately, the Ref started carrying on a spirited conversation with the player as if the player's shoes were talking. And every time they tried to sneak up on someone, the shoes would call out to "Mr. Monster," so that their wearer could fulfill his wish and meet new people.

I seem to recall a second person took offense to the leprechaun, and tried to attack him. The giant green guy just pointed at him and said, "Ye're buck nekkid, boyo!"

The Ref smirked and asked the player how badly he wanted his roleplaying XP, as I recall. Although no one actually held him to that one...
Lyntermas 11th Apr 2014, 12:29 AM edit delete reply
I get the feeling that trying to explain to the DM why saving the princess was important and why the group is willing to accept cake as the only reward would be a case of Evil DMing Cannot Comprehend Good DMing.

Nice story arc, Digo. I must confess that I had originally thought of the Smarmony Gang as players who were intentionally trying to cheese the game, but now I see that it was more a reaction to the "save vs death" scenarios their original DM keeps putting them in.

I look forward to possible future installments.
Starphoenix 12th Apr 2014, 6:23 AM edit delete reply
Honestly? If a DM's response to not getting the last slice of pizza is to TPK, then I think there might be something amiss with the DM.
Digo 12th Apr 2014, 7:53 AM edit delete reply
Thanks. ^_^ Some of the Smarmony characters are based on my first RPG group back in high school. When I went to college and joined a new group, it was like playing a completely different game. :3
referee 11th Apr 2014, 7:05 AM edit delete reply
Really, if there is cake inside this will be the spoilerest spoiler ever, and I will have to hunt you down.