Page 442 - Raison D'Etre

17th May 2014, 6:00 AM in Sweet and Elite
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Raison D'Etre
Average Rating: 5 (3 votes)
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Author Notes:

Newbiespud 17th May 2014, 6:00 AM edit delete
Thanks, all of you, for the generous emotional (and financial!) support that came about as a result of the previous update’s depressing blogging. I usually have a mindset of “The internet doesn’t want to hear about your problems” when it comes to this sort of thing, so to take the risk of opening up and to get “It’s going to be okay” in return… Well, that’s exactly what I needed. It’ll be a while before things get better, but I’ll just keep on trucking until then.

Enough about that. Story Time! Tell a story about entering a new town for the first time on your journey, and how that was handled on either the DM side or the player side.

Notice: Guest comic submissions are open! Guidelines here. Deadline: January 27th, 2023.



FanOfMostEverything 17th May 2014, 6:17 AM edit delete reply
Oh goodness. Remember that elf village I mentioned two pages back? Yeah, the party went through there before meeting the hapless couple, but they didn't stay for long. See, before they got to said village, they were skirting the edge of the forest, along a grassland that happened to be gnoll territory. One thing lead to another, and when the party arrived in Faræfagillia (pronounced as breathily as possible,) one of them was dragging a hyena corpse behind her, looking for someone to dress and cook it.

This did not go over well with the elves.
Guest 17th May 2014, 7:58 AM edit delete reply
Hyena - delicious and nutritious, tastes NOTHING like chicken.
I believe I recently mentioned the party of cousins younger than six years' treatment of the village they met near; they skipped rape & pillage and went straight to 'burn,' with a side order of maulings by the druid in monitor lizard form.
Disloyal Subject 17th May 2014, 7:59 AM Whoops edit delete reply
Er, that was me. I should really get around to making a comicfury account.
Specter 17th May 2014, 8:57 AM edit delete reply
(Disloyal Subject) Yeah, that was actually one of the main reason I did too.

(FanOfMostEverything) NO! Not the Gnoll!... Oh well, at least either way it's not called cannibalism.
Disloyal Subject 18th May 2014, 1:44 PM Cutie Mark edit delete reply
That, and I'll be able to make Tempus' holy symbol my avatar. (Tempus is Forgotten Realms' honorable Chaotic Neutral god of war.)
Digo 17th May 2014, 6:17 AM edit delete reply
I think I've already mentioned the Superhero adventure where The Great and Powerful Trixie first visited the human city of Monte Carlo. :D

Toric 17th May 2014, 6:37 AM edit delete reply
Very first campaign I played a rogue, and the very first session we all happened to find the same town, as per the railroad. My character got lost and showed up last in time to run into the idiot druid and the depressing ranger. He picked the druid's pocket, failed to pick the ranger's pocket, bluffed him to say he was cleaning off some dirt, and then picked it successfully. Then we ran into the gnome sorcerer who was staggering drunk in the street. The ranger and I double teamed to throw him in a water trough to sober him up, and of course I picked his pocket. I took off running and could have evaded the guards but that would have ruined the point of meeting the party so I let them catch me and made another bluff to lie about how much gold I had taken.

All this was in the first half hour, and we never learned the town's name.
Disloyal Subject 17th May 2014, 7:55 AM BoozeGnomes edit delete reply
Deja vu. First time I DM'd, there was a drunken gnomish sorceress involved in the party's introduction... Except the knight & monk dunked her in the inn's horses' water trough not just to sober her up, but also to clean off the vomit, since she tanked the Fort save I had her roll when she asked how drunk she was getting. The soulknife found it hilarious. And I couldn't introduce those two until the aforementioned Lawful duo got back from jail for participating in the bar brawl that was their first action in the game, almost immediately upon my placing them in the tavern. They roleplayed it surprisingly well, and wound up deciding that violence was most in character.
emmerlaus 17th May 2014, 6:35 AM edit delete reply
... what Blog? "looking at last page"


... sending a little something your way. Cant believe I missed it.

Dont give up Spud! I have being there as well. And just so you know, I know a few good stories about people on internet helping out each others. The internet is not JUST filled of trolls!

FOr exemple, there was this girl who was emotionnaly abuse by her mother on deviantart. Her friend on deviantart asked donations to buy her plane ticket when it became physical abuse and she got enough for the ticket AND enough to rent a truck to move her stuff as well (if I remember correctly, Im 100% sure about the plane ticket but I would need to check again for that last part) :)

I know its not what you asked for storytime but hey, I think it will be good enough :p

Again, good luck Spud! My thoughts are with you :)

PS: I wish I could give you a lot more :(
Disloyal Subject 17th May 2014, 7:46 AM Humanity edit delete reply
For all our bastardry, we humans can be pretty awesome sometimes. It's comforting to realize that all of us can do good for the world, and most of us do, in some small way - brighten one person's day, and net happiness rises. Cheers.
DragonTrainer 17th May 2014, 8:27 AM edit delete reply
I should check out your blog more often. (o_O")

Anyways, this is a little late, but I wish you the best of luck. Not many webcomic creators can live off of their webcomic alone, but I think you're one of the few who have what it takes to get there. (If you can't do it, what chance would I have? >_>)

Also, consider switching from google adsense to something else, like... I dunno... Project Wonderful? :p
Specter 17th May 2014, 9:06 AM edit delete reply
(Must refrain from the continued sadness...)


(I believe, for both what we would say/ do, this is just too right)

Black Gryph0n
daftdeafdave 17th May 2014, 10:44 AM edit delete reply
I can personally confirm that donating to Newbiespud's Paypal is better than sex.

Do it now!
EricStarstorm 17th May 2014, 10:45 AM edit delete reply
Wow, it's so weird seeing a Rainbow Dash that doesn't know about the Wonderbolts.

As for the story, our first group campaign took us to a rather steampunk-ish town. The DM was a bit inexperienced, and he blew everything WAY out of proportion--buildings were made of cogs and other stereotypical steampunk things, for example. One of the members even bought a clockwork sword (which had stats identical to a regular longsword). Unfortunately, we never got around to exploring the town further.
FanOfMostEverything 17th May 2014, 11:57 AM edit delete reply
Hmm. Maybe the identical stats were because he never wound the thing.
WishfulAuthor 17th May 2014, 11:49 AM edit delete reply
The party showed up in the middle of a festival, with plenty of feats of strength, skill, and drinking competitions. Food, company, and all the excitement they could handle. Plenty of loot too, as during a festival all the lesser known merchants are trying to get more renown, via sweet sales. So of course, they decided to head to the bar and call it a night.

Sometimes, I swear...
Raxon 17th May 2014, 12:03 PM edit delete reply
Glad you're feeling better, Spud. I would donate, but I currently live in an abandoned warehouse, and the only thing I own is a very comfy chair made of plastic explosives.

Okay. I got one for ya. City full of high elves. Welcomed my half orc dwarf with open arms. I should have known there was something wrong with that town.

The DM was planning to reenact the wicker man scene, except with a dwarf.

Elves are dicks!
FanOfMostEverything 17th May 2014, 2:14 PM edit delete reply
Hey, dwarves are good for the soil! Why else would they bury themselves?
Specter 17th May 2014, 4:43 PM edit delete reply
Ok, I have to ask. Wicker Man?

(20:1 says I am going to regret this.)
ThestralWillow21241 17th May 2014, 5:00 PM edit delete reply
It's a Nicolas Cage movie, a remake of a horror movie from ... I don't know when, centering around a bizarre cult. I highly recommend looking up the Nostalgia Critic review of the remake, it's hilarious.

Anyway, I'm guessing Raxon's referring to one of two scenes, either 1.) Cage's character has a mesh cage placed over his head, which the cult then fills with bees, (leading to the infamous "NOT THE BEES!!!" meme) or 2.) at the end, the cult traps Cage in a giant wooden Wicker Man statue that the cult then sets on fire, burning Cage alive.

Honestly, I could see elves doing either of those to a dwarf.
Disloyal Subject 18th May 2014, 2:50 PM Summon Swarm edit delete reply
(The bees were not in Cage's eyes.)
CrowMagnon 17th May 2014, 6:15 PM edit delete reply
I cannot leave this post without replying with this link:
Raxon 17th May 2014, 8:25 PM edit delete reply
I am referring to the burning scene.

They called it the wicker beard.
Toric 18th May 2014, 9:54 AM edit delete reply
I can't help but wonder what one would have to go through to find a flaming dwarf.
Zaerosz 18th May 2014, 1:18 PM edit delete reply
Not much, I'd say, alcohol-soaked objects are very flammable.
Digo 19th May 2014, 4:45 AM edit delete reply
"Alright, light the dwarf!"

*Dwarf explodes like a Molotov, takes out 9 villagers*

"Okay, next time we use orcs."
Raxon 19th May 2014, 1:54 PM edit delete reply
Flaming beers.. Good name for a dorf heavy metal band.
redwings1340 17th May 2014, 4:13 PM edit delete reply
I hope things get better for you soon. I meant to comment on the last page, but didn't get around to saying anything before this page updated. You seem really awesome based on all of your comments/notes, and I always really enjoy seeing you here in the conversations after the comics. You're a smart and nice person, and I hope you can get to a better state soon.
banjo2E 17th May 2014, 6:35 PM edit delete reply
I think this is time for me to describe the entirety of the one pony campaign I ever played in.

The basic premise was that 200 or so years previously a cataclysm had messed up magic everywhere and caused most of the canon characters to ascend to godhood and leave this plane of existence. Also arcane casting was illegal unless you were an officially sanctioned Wizard. Divine was okay though.

I was a unicorn cleric/rogue and was planning on becoming a divine version of an Arcane Trickster (which the DM said I could totally do because the only prerequisite that actually needed arcane magic was Mage Hand, which unicorns had at will as a racial ability). We also had a guy whose gimmick was being able to summon a single specific thing which he could alter the attributes of with some prep time, but he wasn't an officially sanctioned caster so he had to be somewhat stealthy about it. There was also a diamond dog...monk? who worked for the Wizards smoking out unsanctioned casters. I can't really remember what the other players were, but we did have a whole lot of unicorns for some reason.

The game opened at a festival which IIRC was basically Mardi Gras, with the local flavor being either hiding from or appeasing Discord. There were a bunch of festivities and we participated in some of them. The only ones I actually remember were a play that was (I think) a reenactment of Discord's defeat, and a booth where you could apply Poison Joke to yourself to gain a random effect off a d100 table, with antidote readily available. I ended up with long, shiny hair and decided to keep it as long as possible.

Then suddenly some cultists showed up and began to wreck things, so the party (who hadn't been introduced to each other yet) went and killed them. Half of them were on the roofs, so our team pegasus (pegasi? I can't remember how many we had) pretty much soloed most of the encounter. I had a climb speed for some reason so I tried to help but I kept fumbling. The summoner also helped, since his summon just so happened to be a Wood Spider (timberwolf/spider hybrid) at the time and thus could also climb walls.

After the cultists were all dead we talked to the town guards for a bit (who told us they'd let the killing slide since they were cultists) and then went to a bar to relax for a bit.

Then a drunkard punched me in the face out of nowhere (seriously, the entire party was just sitting there drinking) and we ended up in a brawl. At least a third of the party grappled and pinned him, so in response he started using an AoE vomit attack every turn for like 10 turns straight. This ended up taking off half my health and I was all set to kill him for that but one of the party members (I think it was the summoner but I could be wrong) convinced me to use nonlethal damage instead. After he was KO'd the session ended.

I realized soon after the end of the session that killing some drunk while in a town, especially one with attentive guards, was totally out of character for me. I was going to blame it on being drunk and have my character swear off alcohol forever as a result, but the campaign stopped after that session. I still want to use the character again someday, but I haven't been able to find any pony campaigns online for a while.
Guest 17th May 2014, 6:35 PM edit delete reply
Saw the blog and thought to myself, what would a Brony do in this situation?" the answer came very quickly, have a little hope and in the meantime a little bit of kindness.

Good Luck.
The Angry Vegan 17th May 2014, 9:59 PM edit delete reply
Our cleric is a member (I personally think the only member) of the Happy Bunny Death Cult. Whenever anything happens, like a new character appearing out of thin air, we just say that the Happy Bunny of Death did it and go about our business.
Akouma 17th May 2014, 10:15 PM edit delete reply
In the first game I DM'd, the players were seeking sanctuary with the drow in Eastshadow, a city located in a rainforest of the same name. After a brief kerfuffle where they triggered a simple pit trap on the border, they were welcomed with open arms since they were defecting from the dominant power on the continent. Recent events made it ripe invadin' time, so the PCs were brought before the king of the drow to be asked to serve in the coalition going against The Glorious Empire of Stone. (If you're assuming that's a dwarven empire, you'd be incorrect - shardminds, baby!)

There were a few good encounters in and around that city in the trees. The court mage is generally remembered fondly by the players in that one. Fun times. Never did reach my epic finale, though.
Soletta 18th May 2014, 6:50 AM edit delete reply
Both the new towns we visited for the first couple of sessions in a campaign...did not end well.
The first one was supposed to be convienent 'how the party randomly meet up' then we got attacked in order to make us work together. The town may have somehow ended up on fire, with the priest preaching in the flames to change thir ways or reap the rewards. Yeah.

Second town, next session. GM describes the place and states that there appears to be a martial arts contest in the main square. The two martial artists both go 'Yay!' and proceed to kick butt without even trying (chosen of the gods against regular mortals. This was always going to happen). The two party members end up facing each other in the final.

Cue smackdown. By the end, one is unconcious and the other is all but. While this has been happening, the previously mentioned priest has been asking questions. Turns out that this contest was to choose the next leader of the village.

Priest therefore walks up to this normally badass fighter and pretty much blows on him, which knocks him out. He then claims the village.

This may have become a theme.
Guest 18th May 2014, 7:55 AM edit delete reply
Okay, in a Pony Tales Mystery game, one of ourplayer character's main characteristics is being extraordinarily unlucky, to the point where most of her abilities revolve around causing bad luck. So of course, when she first arrives in the town the game is played in, no sooner had she stopped by a bakery ( run by another PC) to get a bit to eat, then the local handymares end up dropping an oven on the cart containing all of her stuff.
Fury of the Tempest 20th May 2014, 7:16 AM edit delete reply
Fever Enigmatic right?
Guest 20th May 2014, 6:57 PM edit delete reply
mistriousfrog 18th May 2014, 8:39 AM New Town edit delete reply
I had my players go to a new town in our last session and there is good odds it will get me kicked out of my role as GM because of the way my players responded to their first impressions of the city.

The campaign essentially made it so the party had to sneak into a foreign country and they had decided to smuggle themselves in by boat. They went to a coastal town which had been told to them by everyone who had mentioned it to be essentially a wretched hive of scum and villainy. The kind of place where an unsuspecting passerby will end up with everything stolen, dead or some other bad thing will happen if your wits fail you.

Anyway, this is a game played online, so I the players are walking towards the town and I am describing it when I suddenly cut off just as they are about to walk into the city. I cut the images to black and announce they all have to make swim checks. Once they all pass and reach the surface of the water they had no idea where it came from I told them that looking around the town was there and they all swam to the docks. Next I informed them that all their weapons, armor and inventory were missing except for the clothes they were wearing. Days had passed and I informed them that none of the characters had any memory of anything that had happened to them to make them since they were walking towards the city. They had no idea how they lost everything or what happened to the party cleric who was notably absent now.

Naturally, I was not received well for this sudden turn of events. Despite this being about 12 sessions into the campaign, I may have to retcon it or some players might quit.
Lyntermas 18th May 2014, 11:38 AM edit delete reply
Yeah, I think I understand what you were trying to do (PCs figure out what happened like "The Hangover"), but players do NOT like having their agency taken away from them. You've essentially railroaded not only their circumstances, but potentially even their character's own actions (i.e. "My character would never have done that").
Specter 18th May 2014, 9:35 AM edit delete reply
First time we entered a town... I can say the first time I entered a town (first game ever)

Landed via boat to this desolate harbor town, and our group was greeted by this Halfling who seemed, a little vague. He had been there for years alone (-ish), and we were paranoid this guy was going to kill us.

So our ranger decided to investigate some of the nearby buildings for information (loot). What he found was the reason behind this town being, deserted.


We fought off the ticked off zombies with some ease. (I was the only one hit, and it was friendly fire by the ranger.)

Later that night, my character and about half the party discussed the possibility of burning the town down and making an escape vessel.

Decided to go further inland. My group was so smart.
kriss1989 18th May 2014, 11:13 AM edit delete reply
Of course you have parents Twilight, you came from somewhere! Why are players always surprised by this stuff.
Lyntermas 18th May 2014, 11:46 AM edit delete reply
DM: You remember the campaign opening? Living in Canterlot? You found out about the Mare in the Moon before coming to Ponyville?
TS: Well, that doesn't necessarily mean that my parents live here. I could have been transferred from some other backwoods town.
DM: Oh, and this also might be a good chance for you to visit your brother, the Captain of the Royal Guard-
TS: I have a brother!? And he's involved with royalty too? Is there some kind of weird nepotism thing going on? Are we nobles? Do we have a sacred bloodline or something?
Disloyal Subject 18th May 2014, 1:42 PM Don't Play Battleship with Celestia edit delete reply
I still haven't been able to put to rest my suspicion that Twilight is to Celestia as the Kwisatz Haderach is to the Bene Gesserit. At the least, she engineered the filly's training to prepare her for the challenges ahead... Why not her ancestry too? But somehow, selective breeding seems creepier than just manipulating Twilight into being awesome. I still wouldn't put it past Celestia, though - hence my username.
Wyvern 18th May 2014, 7:46 PM edit delete reply
Celestia's had plenty of time. And she may have been planning this for a while too. Figure not very many fillies can have a princess for a foalsitter! And that was before she was presented with a dragon egg...

For that matter, it was Celestia who pointed the Apple family at the site they'd develop into Ponyville - which would be right next to the Everfree Forest and Celestia's old castle generations later when Equestria needed some heroes.
Specter 18th May 2014, 1:43 PM edit delete reply
Then we learn about her foal sitter, and she becomes paranoid about the character, then she becomes right, and then... and then... etc.

I love players who make no backstory to their characters. Too much fun to mess with.
RandomPerson 19th May 2014, 3:04 PM edit delete reply
Sorry to bust you conspiratorial bubble, but one of Shinning Armor's friends gave him the him a flyer Cadence hung at Twilight's school. Shinning had seen bumped into at school and decided to attempt to win her heart. The friend suggest that he give it to his parents as an excuse to see her out side of school. While it is possible this friend was an agent of Celestia, it's also possible that he was also a time traveler. (MLP: FIM comics 11 & 12)

And one last thing. Thank you, NewbieSpud for making this WebComic. You Are AWESOME!
Xelmon 19th May 2014, 1:56 AM edit delete reply
Oh maaaaany moons ago I was playing a somewhat random campaign with my gal pals. This was in '03 or '04, middle of high-school, so these are the key things.

We are essentially railroaded into the town, and there is an announcer looking for adventurers to make soufflé out of the baddy of the day. It was the end of the day - almost dark - so the announcer advised us to stay in town and leave tomorrow.

Weeeeeeel we were all pretty low on cash, so we had the bright idea of camping right outside of town.

Queue DM, who basically says "Cool, there's a chance that you'd be raided during the night."
We were like, eh, let's risk it. And the DM was of course smiling... Man, never trust a smiling DM.

We get raided of course. I was the last one to wake, and I fought - warrior - a kobold half naked and made chops out of. Most of the work was done by the rest of the crew, as they actually woke up to armor being dragged away.
The DM gave the rogue a spot/listen check, as there apparently there was some shuffling in the tree close by us, some 20ft or whatever. The rogue noticed another kobold, and shot a "warning shot" at it. The roll was a natural 19 or so, to which OOG the gal went "OOhhh nooo!". Sure enough, shuffling stopped, no further yapping or answers, so we just went back to sleep.

Morning comes, and the DM articulates that apparently the early riser townsfolk already brought us to the attention of authorities, as camping outside of towns is apparently illegal, or at least it really pissed them off. The blood and guts all over the edge of town and the side of a house after slaying about 6 kobolds didn't help the situation either.
Oh, and the warning shot? Yeah, arrow went through its neck and lodged deep in the tree.

We left in such a hurry that almost forgot to pack up our tents. =)
Mort the Ghost 19th May 2014, 3:27 AM edit delete reply
Well ... just this past month, I've been in the town of Loyongarde, pronounced "Codpiece" by my party members. It's ruled by theocratic Lawful Stupid elves who confiscate weapons at the city gates.
That evening, we had a run-in with bandits we had encountered previously, who were allowed to carry weapons.
And that's when my halfling wizard con-man decided to pull a Moist Von Lipwig.
It failed. Miserably. Despite my plan to impersonate an avatar of Loyongarde's god, Nerninoth, god of justice, civilization, and progress, which went wonderfully (gold suit and a handful of spells to make it appear I had come down in a beam of light; impassioned speech in a BOOMING VOICE about how PROGRESS REQUIRES CHANGE, NOT THE STAGNATION OF LOYONGARDE), I ended up being rescued by hooded figures after a priest of Nerninoth whacked me on the head to prove I wasn't an avatar.
Meanwhile, the drunken gnome alchemist had gotten arrested for forgery, the sword-happy gnome druid was hiding from the watch, and my bumbling sidekick warforged fighter had missed the game two weeks running.
Not our proudest moment.
hariman 19th May 2014, 8:55 AM edit delete reply
I was in one adventure where the party arrives in a town to find a burning church, with the villagers/priest asking for help and offering money.

So, of course, the party goes in to save the church and put out the fire.

Except the barbarian. Who decided to ask for more money, before being told to just get in there and help by the rest of the party.

After the adventure ended, the Barbarian was banned from the entire kingdom the village was in.

He deserved it.
Porphyrogenitus 19th May 2014, 10:23 AM In the grim dark future... edit delete reply
There was the time my assassin and his Renegade Space Marine companion entered town and immediately encountered a Khornate gladiator who was challenging all comers. While the SM handed him his head (literally), my assassin worked the crowd and ran a betting pool.

There was the time our Rogue Trader ship encountered a nomadic tribal society that worshiped the Sky God (vague memories of the Emperor). We pretty much highjacked their entire society, supplying Leman Russ tanks to each of the tribes and establishing regular supply runs to depots we set up all across the planet-wide steppes. A few decades later we were able to start drawing from the planet for Armored Brigades.

An admech inquisitorial acolyte was sent to a farm world that'd been missing its tithes for a while, where the capital city was the center of the three local power groups (nobility, church, and law enforcement). On the way from my LZ to the city I'd determined that the local branch of the church had been corrupted by rogue psykers posing as Living Saints, so when I got to town I used my admech connections to get my hands on enough spare parts to rig up a silencer for my autogun. I wound up taking out one of the three BBEGs of the cult on my first day in town, and I got away with it due to some really nice Stealth rolls and my make-shift silencer.
KaijinZero 19th May 2014, 8:46 PM edit delete reply
in our .Hack game, while everyone went to the item shop, i went to the weapons shop to get a different sword that gave me a 7 hit move.

best starting money i ever spent.