Page 446 - The Barbarian Guild

27th May 2014, 6:00 AM in Sweet and Elite
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The Barbarian Guild
Average Rating: 5 (2 votes)
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Author Notes:

Newbiespud 27th May 2014, 6:00 AM edit delete
This just in: Despite evidence to the contrary, life does, in fact, go on. I've made my move back to my old home.

I've also set up a Patreon page, just to see how that goes.

Notice: Guest comic submissions are open! Guidelines here. Deadline: January 27th, 2023.



Guest 27th May 2014, 6:29 AM edit delete reply
Newbiespud 27th May 2014, 6:33 AM edit delete reply
That's new.

Abhorrent. But new.
CharginChuck 27th May 2014, 7:34 AM edit delete reply
I made a "first" post once. I've regretted it ever since.
Raxon 27th May 2014, 7:40 AM edit delete reply
As well you should. I cannot abide such lazy posting.
Seanpony Renaud 27th May 2014, 9:12 AM edit delete reply
I just have a dream that oneday I'll manage to post before Raxon. That is my reason for existing.

That and reading this comic.
CharginChuck 27th May 2014, 9:24 AM edit delete reply
And now I've disappointed Raxon. As if I didn't feel bad enough already....
Digo 27th May 2014, 1:18 PM edit delete reply
Unless there are real cookies and milk involved, I have no reason to go for typing 'First' despite having been the first post of the day. It's just not worth it if I'm not getting cookie rewards.
DoubleCross 27th May 2014, 8:55 AM edit delete reply
I personally regret nothing. There are worse crimes than firsts.
Specter 27th May 2014, 10:24 AM edit delete reply
I think I once posted "First" at some point, and no one really cared or noticed. That is my story and life (could be worse).
Guest 27th May 2014, 11:26 AM edit delete reply
One time I stole "first" from Newbiespud and it made my day; comic number 215.
kriss1989 27th May 2014, 7:05 PM edit delete reply
I also had a first post as well, but I didn't say first. I mentioned it was lonely. Next post included a "first", so irony!
Destrustor 28th May 2014, 3:13 PM edit delete reply
I think I once posted before Raxon, when he was even more diligently present than he is now. I demanded a medal and got none, just as I deserved.
I do think my comment at least had more substance than "first" or "inb4Raxon", though I don't remember what it was about.
Jannard 27th May 2014, 6:30 AM edit delete reply
Yay Patreon! I felt pointing that option out was out of the question for some reason (probably because you were already aware of it and didn't feel like using it yet).

Now STORY TIME! I declare this to be about a player dodging, avoiding or having doubts about opportunities for character development served on a silver platter.
Jannard 27th May 2014, 7:23 AM edit delete reply
For this one I remember our first campaign, once again. You see, our ninja was kinda bummed that after a while my character had begun to steal the spotlight (because I roleplayed and he didn't, that is).

However, when we went to the dragonlands, it was his turn to shine. His backstory involved the death of his parents, and an old book written in draconic, so he had a chance there. He and our wizard managed to find their way to the white dragon territory (at least I think it was the whities, color did not indicate alignment in this setting), because those had some relation to his quest.

So there he goes, ready to face his destiny, learn about his past and possibly gain a dragon ally... And then he decides to let the wizard do the talking while he searches for valuables to steal. BAM! Character development right there. A while later, just before we left the dragonlands, my character spoke with one of the leaders of the rebel dragons and managed to recruit their aid for the world-shattering battle that was sure to come eventually. The ninja player was quite pissed that I had stolen the spotlight yet again.

It's worth mentioning that one of the other players had also developed a really interesting character that made things happen around him most of the time. But he was one of the original three, while I came to the table a few sessions in, so clearly I was the problem.
Specter 27th May 2014, 7:35 AM edit delete reply
There was a time I had to go and find this antidote because I had this disease that threatened the land (Bubanic Plague or sometinhg, so I had to avoid everyone to). I eventually found this supposed wizard who created the thing and I "pleaded" (down right demanded with drawn sword and knife) for the cure.

This was my fifth character for the campaign, so I had no guilt in losing another if it meant an end to the disease.

I was then told that the wizard was my characters father and was only trying to "Purify the lands" so that his ofspring would not need to compete for food and the like. Most would say that I would be stunned for a few rounds taking this in (and him escaping), but I chose to do the only thing I could.

One grapple/move/jump/grapple str. check later, two forms were flying threw the air into a very deep hole. Give a guess of what happened if you want.

Yeah, character number six on the way, no development beyond crazy family genes, and I saved the day. (The party ironicly were making new characters at the time because they had already succumbed to the disease, I only got it because I took the time to burn their corpses).

Fun fact: A grand total of 37 characters were made in the making of that campagin.

Digo 27th May 2014, 7:32 AM edit delete reply
In my group I was generally the only DM who handed out character development coupons, but I recall a couple dodgers of the call.

The worst offender was the Cleric/Bard/Monk player (yes, that was his character's multiclass makeup). He had this mission to have 'A gal in every port' so I gave him this offer of actually giving up those hedonistic ways and settle with one girl, a barmaid who dreamed of adventuring. She was decent as a wet nurse and could have become a tag-a-long minion of the party as a healer. The mayor's daughter kept nuding this player to go ahead and pick her up, take her on adventures when the party was done with their mission here. This was a chance for the player to become a better person, and be true to his faith as a cleric, lawful to his faith as a monk, and a better PR for his profession as a bard.

Nope, the player Insisted to shag the mayor's daughter instead. Even though she really REALLY did not want to date anyone (the mayor had died during the adventure, so he didn't have anything to say on the matter).

After the party killed the evil vampire lord that pestered the town, the party began their trek south, but the PC insisted he stay behind to hook up with the mayor's daughter and not the barmaid. The party, tired of his antics, were more than happy to ditch him and hire someone else when they reach the next town.

After everything wrapped up for the adventure, the mayor's daughter decided, fine, one night stand and that'll be that. I handed the player a note that described his night with the girl--

"You've just been bedded by a level 18 evil succubus. Given that you're level 9 and there's no one around to help you, you have died and your soul is forfeit to her. Roll up a new character for next week."

To be fair, I had given the entire party six clues that the daughter was the true evil and not the vampire lord, but they chose to ignore that twist and go for the easier kill. :3
Chakat Firepaw 27th May 2014, 6:23 PM edit delete reply
Um, unless the party was in the habit of rescuing babies I don't think that they needed a wet nurse. Remember that a wet nurse is a woman who is lactating and who nurses, (i.e. feeds), some other woman's child.
Digo 28th May 2014, 4:43 AM edit delete reply
Yes I know. But it would be weird to say that the girl had some class levels as an adventurer if she never adventured yet. I mentioned she had good healing skills, so she had the potential to be useful with some experience and study.

Not that the players picked up on that either, but whatever. Net result is the same, one dead PC. :)
Chakat Firepaw 29th May 2014, 4:19 PM edit delete reply
Well, one has to remember that there are ways of getting XPs other than killing things and taking their stuff. It's easy to justify a few class levels even for characters who never leave their home town, (how else do you get an 8th level blacksmith?).
Jackobol Trades 27th May 2014, 9:22 AM edit delete reply
In one Pathfinder group I run that has a homebrew rule of everything can breed with anything, one of my players was a wolf-man samurai who, due to his own short-sightedness gained the rather unhealthy affections of a goblin princess who kidnapped him and transformed him into a goblin.

This resulted in some serious stat reductions, so to make it up to the guy, I decided to have his character become a mythic champion to one of the goblin gods, complete with epic journey and game breaking powers.

The player goes 'nope' and transforms back into a wolf man as soon as he possible could. Cue disappointed god and lack of super powers. The party then got themselves killed when the goblins didn't take kindly to having their champion stolen from them and zerg rushed the party.
Godzfirefly 27th May 2014, 12:52 PM edit delete reply
I don't completely blame the guy for turning that one down. Changing races is a big deal for a character, especially if you had your heart set on playing a particular type of character. And, a forced change of race and story-goal by the GM is a pretty bitter pill to swallow, no matter how many bonuses you're given to "balance it out."
Jackobol Trades 27th May 2014, 1:03 PM edit delete reply
That's true, which is why I let him change back quickly. I like to give players options, but sometimes I can get a bit heavy handed.

I suppose a less heavy example is that whenever I give my players the option to pursue a romantic avenue, they immediately cut all contact with the interested party.
Luna 27th May 2014, 11:22 AM edit delete reply
I kind of did on a regular basis on a d&d campaign where I was playing a spellthief. My character was posing as just a jack of all trade with basic fighting capabilities and magic abilities and it ended up being a game for a couple other player to try and have their own characters to discover the truth about mine while I was doing pretty much anything to keep my true calling a secret.

Basically, my character was always avoided any kind of fame, to the point where I did my best so I could get another party member to get credit for my success whenever possible. Anyway, up to some point, the DM decided to be nice to me and had our party encounter an Assimar that wanted to learn how to steal spells from other and seeked me out, introducing himself and his goal in front of the whole party. Still remember the baffled look upon the DM face when my character claimed that nope, she had no idea what he was talking about and that she didn't even know that such a thing was possible. He kept insisting for some time, having the Assimar follow our party, until I took advantage of one night when I was the one guarding the camp, to explain to the Assimar in secret that I couldn't take an apprentice, but would introduce him to some potential teacher once we get back to my hometown, which was our next destination.

That npc was supposed to be a free retainer for me because the DM was impressed by how I was sticking to my secrets. He never thought I would stick so much to them that I would actually decline such a reward. XD
Darkside 27th May 2014, 1:54 PM edit delete reply
Well, the closest I can think of was the time I was so tired from work, I fell asleep in the middle of a session. This is relevant because the session involved clues to my character's past (he had amnesia, save for a symbol he had on his person at all times).

We agreed that he was still out of it from seeing one of his most important people (his boss) die in front of him last session.
you know that guy 27th May 2014, 2:39 PM edit delete reply
Well, c'mon. What would you say if you were playing a spy or con artist and someone walked up to you while you were in cover and loudly asked to be your apprentice? For that matter, any stealthy class.
Digo 28th May 2014, 4:46 AM edit delete reply
Ugh, I have when a GM ignores a PC's attempt at stealth. Like one time my wizard cast Invisibility in a battle and went off to hide because the fight was not going his way. Despite the ground being fairly clean tile and my wizard having a pretty good Move Silently check, none of the opponents were rolling that miss chance due to me being invisible. :p
you know that guy 27th May 2014, 2:40 PM edit delete reply
Oh, sorry. I somehow thought you were the DM instead of the player.
CrowMagnon 28th May 2014, 8:52 AM edit delete reply
Funny story about that. I'm currently running a Pony Tales campaign in which the players are all on board a luxury airship, and before the session started, I required that each of them should have a personal motivation for wanting an audience with Princess Celestia, who is also on board the ship.

To get them there, I set up certain events to give them the opportunity to meet with her by gaining passes to attend a VIP ball. Of the four, though, two have elected not to jump at the opportunities I've dangled in front of them.

Horatio Fisticuffs III (gentleman adventurer) is a first-class passenger who would have received a pass to begin with, but the envelope that would have contained it was swapped with one containing a black card, and despite practically shaking him and shouting, "open the envelope," he hasn't done so yet. OOC, his player knows that he's probably had his ticket stolen, but IC Horatio remains oblivious.

Delta Requiem (pegasus bard), meanwhile, has been involved with another event. There's a contest for couples that I have planned, but instead of seeking out one of the other PCs to team up with, she's opted to instead help out an NPC couple that she befriended.

Now, granted, it's not entirely MANDATORY for them all to make it to the ball. In fact, they could all fail to get their passes and the plot would still move forward. I just find it interesting that half my players would elect not to.
Bombom13 28th May 2014, 12:42 PM edit delete reply
I always thought it would be fun to put a giant, green field with happy bunnies and frolicking animals in it. A verdant paradise. I would not trap it or anything, I just want to see what they would do.
Digo 28th May 2014, 3:09 PM edit delete reply
I did something similar with a city park. Paranoia ran rampant and the PCs ended up sniping three people and setting a tree on fire.
Jennifer 27th May 2014, 6:58 AM edit delete reply
Also the Thunderbolts. No one ever remembers the Thunderbolts.

OK, except the writers of this show. But they still go the Navy route in depicting them. Personally, I think the Red Arrows would have been a good choice for imagery. Their captain IS named Spitfire, after all.
Jannard 27th May 2014, 7:27 AM edit delete reply
So basically, the Blue Angels inspired the uniforms, the Thunderbolts inspired the name, and the Red Arrows lent their captain's name. I'd say it's quite fair, although obviously the visual resemblance strikes harder, especially considering your average USA citizen might not catch on the other two.
Jennifer 27th May 2014, 10:32 AM edit delete reply
Er, Thunderbirds, I meant. I never knew about the Blue Angels as a kid, and still haven't seen them, but I watched the Thunderbirds every single year of my childhood in Tucson. Pretty much exactly the opposite of most Americans -- the Blue Angels get much more attention.
Derpmind 27th May 2014, 8:34 AM edit delete reply
Anyone else here agree with Applejack? Actually, have some of ya been in any professional capital-B Badass Guilds?
Specter 27th May 2014, 10:27 AM edit delete reply
No, but I did face some of them in online games, and proved a level 1 no one should be considered a serious threat, even a level 20+ Pro.

...I don't like Halo.
aRKHcTHUUL 27th May 2014, 10:44 AM edit delete reply
Ah yes, Plaers unable (or unwilling) tos ee the perfectly Fitting chances to power and then complaining about it.
I got one of those, probably the most extreme, in my first Major Campaign as DM.

Short Intro: they already started out in the top 10% of the WOrld and when "the Exit" happened were almost unbelieveably powerful.

The Charakter was an Arvatian (Kind of mortal Angels, or as one Player put it, Flash Gordon Birdman that have Magic^^). A Black one (Darkness anfd Light, though not good and Evil, where a central Theme).
When he decided to drop out because the other Players had amassed a big Hoard (Draconian Shapechanger) respectively managed to turn into a Vampire COunt (Relatively classic Gish), he was the hysically strongest, most intelligent AND charismatic Guy in the Group, Master of Darkness Magic, and able to AT WILL summon Demons (that, due to his insane Statistics had no Chance NOT to do what he told them as Long as he didn`t try and call 2 Pit Fiend Equivalents at once or somesuch), Minions in his Shadow (The Darknessalike) and a Suit of Armor that made him effectively immortal.

And he said he had no opportunities for developement/Power/etc.... sigh....
Specter 27th May 2014, 4:40 PM edit delete reply

Straight from the video it self so I can be lazy. "Video contains violence and strong language."

By: CraigAA1028, Pistol Packing Brony Vs. Obnoxious Angry Teens (COD Black Ops 2)
Rooker 27th May 2014, 6:25 PM Abiding Laziness edit delete reply
Raxon, I could just imagine a t-shirt or a banner with your Deadpool picture saying a combination of your lazy posting comment and Magic: The Gathering's Archenemy card Your Fate Is Thrice Sealed:
"I can't abide laziness. Arise, forces of nature, and serve your master!"
Substituting "forces of nature" with "all you commenters"
Rooker 27th May 2014, 6:45 PM Oops edit delete reply
Oh yeah, and the story time I actually have something for. I think I referenced this event previously:

I'm still a first-time GM and never done more than the prologue portion of any character's life to test out a game called Scion and make sure I have everything right and my player understands how the rules work.
I had a Scion of Sraosha (Persian God of Obedience as stated in the book "Scion: Yazata") who was a special forces sniper sent to investigate a mining facility that had gone dark. He went in with 5 members of his team who were getting picked off one at a time by a Scion of Loki who liked to use Darkness and Illusion Purviews to confuse his victims and Fire and Frost Purviews to kill them. Even with those closest to him dying one at a time by supernatural means, he didn't react except to determine whether or not they were actually dead. I had the Loki Scion set out traps to herd the squad to where he was keeping everybody in the facility, including a band of local insurgents who had tried to take it over, and instead he decided to test his archery skills against the barely visible wire traps meant to keep him from getting bored and exploring too much (In retrospect, something shiny you can barely see is more like begging them to get distracted). Every time he moved to another room, the other Scion took another member of his squad, except that he kept going back and forth between three rooms and was by himself in the span of about five minutes in-game.
In the end he lost his whole time and was mauled by the Loki Scion with fire and ice, met his father and his Pantheon's God of Death, and was revived to a relief team coming in and finding only him alive. The most development he shows is at the end where he takes the Dog Tags of one teammate who was the Scion of Loki's real target who was also the first to die by a tripwire(which pissed the villain off, his targets are supposed to suffer).

So...yay, there was a little development.
FanOfMostEverything 28th May 2014, 8:24 AM edit delete reply
Now I'm imagining the card's art with Deadpool. Thanks for that.
Digo 28th May 2014, 3:11 PM edit delete reply
"Scheme"? That's a new type to me...
kriss1989 27th May 2014, 7:17 PM edit delete reply
"Guys, stop doing character drama and go fight the bad guys already!" - me as DM. My players generate their own character development via internal party dialog and character motivations. And generate it. And generate it. And generate it. And WILL YOU JUST GO KILL THE GOBLINS ALREADY?
Specter 27th May 2014, 8:39 PM edit delete reply
So... Your problem with your adventurers isn't murderers, but absurd in-depth role-players?

Yeah, I can see that.
Digo 28th May 2014, 4:47 AM edit delete reply
Wanna trade some players? ;)
kriss1989 28th May 2014, 12:34 PM edit delete reply
I would love a murder hobo! We might make some real progress in the campaign then!
Curb 28th May 2014, 8:36 AM edit delete reply
I've mostly had the opposite, I've seen chances for development but had DM's and GM's who ignored it so they could try to kill the party.

However...there is one story I have.

Running my first (and only for the time being) Rifts campaign at a con, the party had the opportunity to join a larger group, the Northern Eagles Mercenary Company, at the end of the adventure, it would have set them up for a future game to run counter to the normal D&D game. the DM had even considered allowing an alternating gaming scheduled. Unfortunate, the party, even through they had enjoyed the game and the more rapid pace of the Rifts game, chose to go back to level grinding and barely existent story lines and flat characters vs building up interesting characters, more involved story lines and much better loot(alot better with what I had planned). It's part of why I eventually left that group, that and all the infighting, cheating and finger pointing.
ExtremeLurkerHomeEdition 28th May 2014, 6:38 PM edit delete reply
So I haven't read FiD since around 330 (no reason for stopping, just a very forgetful person!) and just finished my Archive Binge. It's so bittersweet when you're watching a series or reading a fanfic or webcomic or whatnot that you love and get so into it and then BAM the next button suddenly doesn't work and you're shocked back into reality.
Disloyal Subject 28th May 2014, 8:53 PM 100% Completion edit delete reply
At least there's the pride of being caught up to soothe the void. Granted, before I started reading comments, that was insufficient to slake the thirst, leading to a 'webcomics' folder on my favorites bar with a few hundred comics saved.
As for storytime... I got nothin'; my group(s) tend to be good at character development, and for them, passing up character development is still character development. Occasionally retroactively. Don't get me started on the catgirl getting her hands on drugs...
Scribejay 30th Jul 2014, 3:43 AM edit delete reply
"Rockstar Mercenary" Now that just sounds like the cool title a startup gives to its entry-level phone sales team. In fact I think I skipped a Rockstar Mercenary interview a month ago.