Page 448 - Thief Would Be Proud

31st May 2014, 6:00 AM in Sweet and Elite
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Thief Would Be Proud
Average Rating: 5 (2 votes)
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Author Notes:

Newbiespud 31st May 2014, 6:00 AM edit delete
So, depending on how merciful my upload speed is, there may or may not be a fully uploaded YouTube installment of Fallout is Dragons Session 12 by the time this comic publishes. But you can still download the mp3 version from our Dropbox (which, thanks to Patreon, may soon be retired in the coming weeks in favor of something like libsyn).

Notice: Guest comic submissions are open! Guidelines here. Deadline: January 27th, 2023.



Specter 31st May 2014, 6:01 AM edit delete reply
So... Flim and Flam like twins ruined the contract? It's kind of a reverse on the episode where Rainbow supported them for the apple cider.
Pen Brush 31st May 2014, 6:11 AM Mercenary edit delete reply
I think that is just lovely.
FanOfMostEverything 31st May 2014, 6:27 AM edit delete reply
Experience is a good teacher, but not a kind one. Hopefully this will teach Dash's character to pay more attention to noncombat situations.
Digo 31st May 2014, 6:45 AM edit delete reply
I know most of my players never learned that. XD

This is why the "Rule of three" is a good idea when you want to throw mystery in an adventure. If you want the PCs to find a clue that leads from A to B, you make three clues that do that. Different clues that might require different skills or ideas to find, but that someone in the party should be capable of finding. Otherwise you'll end up like my party that decided to go off the rails and take on an iron golem 5 levels their superior, nearly leading to half a TPK.

DM's Choice 2nd Jun 2014, 1:13 AM edit delete reply
^THAT is a good rule!
I sure will remember that.
guy 31st May 2014, 6:50 AM edit delete reply
One has to be careful when pulling this sort of stunt. I, for instance, would not learn a darn thing from an experience like this, but simply be reduced to incoherent rage, and almost certainly not speak to anyone involved for quite some time. Now, I have anger issues, so I am in no way going to claim that this would be anyone's fault other then mine, as I have never been able to take something like this. But the point simply is, whenever you do something like this in-game, you have to make sure everyone understands that it's just a game.
Zuche 31st May 2014, 8:15 AM edit delete reply
Sometimes, players and DMs need to be reminded that most participants in a game didn't join with the primary goal of learning anything. Rewarding two guys because they bored another player to sleep sounds like a poor way to run a game, considering this one stunt manages to kill another player's fun twice. I mean, Dash is playing a chaotic evil barbarian for whom it would be in character to respond to that by beating both artificers senseless and taking everything they own. The reason this doesn't happen is because her player isn't out to be a jerk to other players. In effect, Dash's player has just been told that this is the wrong attitude to take to a (supposedly) non-adversarial game.

Now if the contract had provided the con men with first pick of loot or even a 10% "administrative fee" or some clause obligating Dash to perform some additional take for no further compensation, they'd still have been playing their characters without having to be complete jerks about it. It's not cool to justify robbing another player blind with the excuse that you were just playing your character. That would be like playing a game of cops in robbers in which one of the "cops" was taken hostage and forced to spend the rest of the game locked in a closet (or tied to a chair and gagged) because that was in character for the robbers. That's having fun at another player's expense, which misses the point of games such as D&D. Trying to pass that off as a lesson is like claiming a con artist's goal is public service.
Jannard 31st May 2014, 10:29 AM edit delete reply
Quite a good point Zuche. The way I see it, "experience is a good teacher" means exactly that. RD's character learned from experience, not from two jerks. That is, the jerks weren't out t deliver a lesson, and if were, they're still jerks. But the situation is still an experience, like any other in life, and one can ignore it, get angry at it or take the opportunity to learn from it.

Bottom line is, had RD's player realized how paying attention in non combat situations may be important (after all, the non-threatening opportunities had been had in the pony game), the lesson would have been learned in a much sweeter manner. Instead, the lesson came as a bitter experience in the hands of jerks wanting to have fun by abusing someone's attention span. FanOfMostEverything still has a point.

Could have been worse. Real life also tends to deliver experience. And sometimes in far less non-threatening ways.
Zuche 1st Jun 2014, 5:46 PM edit delete reply
The funny thing about asking people to learn from life experiences is that it fails to consider what is taught. What is the lesson?

Is it that RD should pay more attention to things that have nothing to do with her interest in the game?

Is it that RD is wrong to think of other players of this game in non-antagonistic terms?

Is it that games like this are a complete waste of her time?

Experience is an uncaring teacher, with no concern for any lesson you take from the class.
Jannard 3rd Jun 2014, 3:21 AM edit delete reply
True enough, that's why I separated the issue between game experience and life experience. Game experience comes with the advantage of having other players around ready to point to a particular lesson, whichever it is. After all, there's no such thing as the objectively superior lesson when it comes to what's best from a personal perspective, with or without a teacher.
Lucithana 31st May 2014, 10:34 AM edit delete reply
I actually had a GM do something like the cops and robbers thing to me. He wanted my character to start out unconscious in a bacta tank in a Star Wars game to be found by the other players. Despite knowing this and theoretically being friends of mine they still took about an hour and a half of out of game time to find me while I just sat at the table doing nothing except getting more annoyed.
Digo 31st May 2014, 2:38 PM edit delete reply
At the same time, don't sign anything you didn't read. ;)
Hariman 2nd Jun 2014, 8:32 AM edit delete reply
Zuche: Or, the short version, you're not here to be a jerk to one of the other players.

Man do I have some bitter memories of D&D on that point. Mainly of one of the other players choosing me to pick on for fun for over a year of gaming, which I didn't even realize he was doing until I left and eventually talked with the player he started picking on after I left.
Wyvern 31st May 2014, 9:47 AM edit delete reply
This is why an experienced Barbarian signs with someone else's name. For over-achievers, they can pretend illiteracy.

"Why does this contract say 'Derpy Hooves?' Who's that? Did you hire someone named Derpy?"
Digo 31st May 2014, 6:43 PM edit delete reply
Now you're thinking with Portals Contracts! ;)
The Old One 31st May 2014, 3:23 PM edit delete reply
I had kind of the reverse of this. I was playing the rogue in my party, and the rest of the party decided they were all to lazy to do the accounting, and accounting was necessary, since we were doing party loot. Silly party, making the rogue responsible for the books.

I skimmed like a fiend, because I felt there was a sure and definable need for an idiot tax in that party, and lo, did I collect. There was one moment where the DM told us we had found 5 thousand gold, out loud, at the table, and I cheerfully got the party's attention and gushed over the four thousand we had just acquired. The rest of the party patted themselves on the back for a job well done and the DM rolled his eyes.
terrycloth 31st May 2014, 10:40 PM edit delete reply
I'm playing a chaotic good kitsune, who skims like a fiend.

He doesn't steal the gold or anything. He just 'fails to sell' certain 'party treasure' that finds its way onto his character sheet. Things like a rod of persistent metamagic, or the odd +4 weapon. You know, little things.
guy 31st May 2014, 11:37 PM edit delete reply
Now that is different. I was once in a group that refused to do mapping, or inventory, or anything else you might think of.
If the other players are being too lazy to carry their own weight, then one is fully justified in taking advantage of that fact. Rainbow here is being punished for not caring about roleplaying, not for not holding up her end of the deal, and that's what makes these guys jerks.
CmndrHurricane 1st Jun 2014, 5:56 AM edit delete reply
while it might have been roleplaying, it was alos lloking over a contract for half an hour in a situation where it's not needed. contract-boring is always wirse than roleplay-boring
Steel Resolve 1st Jun 2014, 7:20 AM edit delete reply
You know what else would be in character for a pissed off barbarian who just got dicked over by a contract? Demand to see it, slice it in half, and tell the artificers they are next unless they renegotiate NOW. You do not screw over a player and expect no retribution.
Raxon 31st May 2014, 9:10 AM edit delete reply
It would seem story time today is about getting screwed over via contract. Gee, I wonder who I can tell about that uses trickery to mess with people...

So anyway, two separate little stories here. First up, Raxon owns a little shop in New Orleans that specializes in this. The shop's name is Faustian Bargains Loan & Pawn. As the name implies, Raxon generally has a drone there, screwing people over by taking something they need, and giving them something they want, Little Mermaid style. That said, it's generally a temporary thing, usually to provide an object lesson, typically something along the lines of "If your true love loves you on the condition that you grow six inches and develop a bodybuilder physique, she is not your true love."

The other thing is that Raxon was being interviewed at the opening of his cosmetic enhancement salon(read: magical plastic surgery clinic) and as he walked the young lady reporter in, he began to sing "Poor Unfortunate Souls", but using the folks in the waiting room as part of the song. "This one longing to be thinner, that one wants to get the girl, and do I help them? Yes I do."

Everyone in the waiting room had agreed to participate beforehand, in exchange for discounts.

Raxon is a fantastic boss, paying the receptionist to just sit there and smile, not laugh, at this as the reporter just gets more and more nervous.

Then again, Raxon knows how to really advertise. A local report and interview would be good for business. A clip that goes viral drums up bigger business, and spreads awareness when he expands the chain.
Rytel 31st May 2014, 9:15 AM edit delete reply
It's due to things like this that when I'm presented with a contract in-character, I always ask if I can roll Sense Motive.
Disloyal Subject 31st May 2014, 10:26 AM Contracts edit delete reply
Sense Motive is good, but I prefer insisting on reading the contract. (Doing both is, of course, even better!) I'm the guy who reads the fine print, sometimes aloud in my best bullet-time advertising voice.
Since most contracts don't seem to be written up in advance, one can generally get an acceptable one by forcing the player/DM to come up with legalese on the spot.
Newbiespud 31st May 2014, 9:21 AM edit delete reply

Seven hours before this comic went live, I started to upload the podcast video. About half an hour after the comic went live, my computer shut down for no explainable reason. The upload wasn't finished, so now I've got to start it all over again.
Pen Brush 31st May 2014, 10:30 AM gf edit delete reply
Awww, its alright man. Sometimes electronics crap out on people. Have you ever had a 4 day long power outage due to snow before?
Jannard 31st May 2014, 10:37 AM edit delete reply
Ah, the dreaded moody computer. Don't fret Spud, nobody is running behind you with a clock telling you to do-it-now-damnit, except maybe yourself :P It's always oneself... except when you work for others that give you deadlines, but I digress.
Raxon 31st May 2014, 10:47 AM edit delete reply
You think that's bad? Pretty much my only source of internet at the moment is my cell phone, which was borked by a bad update a week or two ago. Took a week to get a replacement, and now I have to rebuild Ponyville entirely from scratch!

Bork bork bork.
Specter 31st May 2014, 1:49 PM edit delete reply
Don't worry, like you said, even YOU are still getting use to the move. That doesn't mean the electronics aren't doing the same. I remember a time our family moved to a new city, and for the life of me, I couldn't figure out anything to do other then play about a hundred games of solitaire until dinner was ready.

Lasted about a week, then our PlayStation worked.

As for you, Raxon, I see your Chief-de-Muppets, and raise thee a portal (VIDEO TIME!).

(Warning: Animations, language, smooth jazz, refrences.)

By: 2Snaks animating two best friends (sisters), Play portal 2.

(Still no idea how to do clickable stuff)
Drakion 2nd Jun 2014, 10:33 AM edit delete reply
Hey feel free to add me as a friend on there. I'm the only brony for miles around here and having no friends for that game sucks! I mean I can't even get scootaloo =/

OH! Btw I'm SuperKamiGuru. Maybe you've seen me on here before, maybe not. Either way, I finally decided to set up an account yadayadayada.
Drakion 2nd Jun 2014, 10:34 AM edit delete reply
And if you did want a friend my GL name is LtLantz444.
Digo 31st May 2014, 2:42 PM edit delete reply
Could be worse. I had a computer short-circuit its own motherboard 2 hours into a 3 hours download. The good news was that I had a download manager so I could pick up where I left off.

The bad news, the short took out the hard-drive. :o

I've owned 3 different computers that have imploded like that. Three. So at least you can be thankful that you don't have me anywhere near your hardware. :)
Newbiespud 31st May 2014, 8:17 PM edit delete reply
Aaaand it's up. At last.
Specter 31st May 2014, 8:34 PM edit delete reply
... (Inhale) :)
NellzDaBlackKing 31st May 2014, 2:48 PM edit delete reply
Wow she played the barbarian role well. They're not known for reading anyways unless you spend skill points to do so.
The MunchKING 31st May 2014, 7:36 PM edit delete reply
The MunchKING
That's when you point how "in character" it would be for you to bludgeon them over the head with an axe until they give you what you consider a fair share, or until they're no longer physically capable of stopping you from taking it. :D

What part of CHAOTIC Evil are they having trouble with?
guy 31st May 2014, 9:00 PM edit delete reply
Hah! Darn straight. I shall have to remember that one.
Guest 1st Jun 2014, 5:27 AM edit delete reply
not bad.

but player Dash need to her righteous beatdown on too.
kriss1989 1st Jun 2014, 5:52 AM edit delete reply
Bludgeon? You use the axes pointy part.
Specter 1st Jun 2014, 7:46 AM edit delete reply
Unless it's a shovel. It's blunt, it is considered a toll instead of a weapon, and it is your best friend when it comes to hiding an intelligence extraction gone too far.

I've done that once, and the good side of the party (despite the high skills and animal companions) could not find the bodies (a six foot grave has nothing on a 18-footer).
kriss1989 1st Jun 2014, 9:57 AM edit delete reply
Shovels are great stealth weaponry. Disguise yourself as a janitor, keep it mixed in with some mops to hide the spade, and you have an effective weapon you can sneak past security. Put some glass melting acid in a plastic spray bottle, some C4 in the bottom of your trash trolly (under the plastic bag), and a remote data relay inside the removable top of one of the mops and you have everything you need to infiltrate an evil corporation to steal Ada files on their evil plans.
Specter 2nd Jun 2014, 11:20 AM edit delete reply
Disloyal Subject 3rd Jun 2014, 6:08 AM Sweet Vengeance edit delete reply
If you use the pointy part, it's over too quickly. Provided it's not double-headed, you could whack them with the haft, pointing the blade away, and if it is, you can just go with the old standby of spanking them with the flag of the blade.
I like this shovel idea, though. Definite potential there.
kriss1989 1st Jun 2014, 6:01 AM edit delete reply
Warlocks in 4E get thir powers via a contract with an otherworldly power. My friend was making his first D&D character and decided on a warlock, without reading the background of how they worked too well (exchange piece of their soul for power). He had a very basic but compelling backstory (family murdered by necromancer, got powers to get vengeance, seeking necromancer to distribute vengeance all over his smug face), and never specified what the contract said. Which eventually led to this conversation with his patron:
"You took my soul!?"
"What no. That would be evil. I only took a part of you soul. Like, twenty percent or so, not the whole thing. It was in the contract, right after forbidding you from learning to ply the tuba and before the part about no longer needing to shampoo and condition to have great hair."
"...I was wondering how my hair still looks so great after all the wilderness tracking I do."

Yes, Davith and his patron, Mab, and both like that. It's probably why she picked him.
DarthMalice 1st Jun 2014, 11:01 AM So.... edit delete reply
Am I really the only one who noticed the awesome reference to 8-bit theatre that is the title?
Raxon 1st Jun 2014, 12:07 PM edit delete reply
hariman 2nd Jun 2014, 8:28 AM edit delete reply
Bah. Thief would have had RD legally bound to serve him for life, and possibly into the next life too.

Then again, Thief IS the guy who once stole a soul from an indestructible orb, and who is at least one up on the local Trickster God.
Specter 2nd Jun 2014, 11:21 AM edit delete reply
I'll tell you the truth, never heard of what ever the reference is.
Malroth 2nd Jun 2014, 1:09 PM edit delete reply
8 bit theatre a campaign retelling of final fantasy 1
Darthmalice 3rd Jun 2014, 7:21 AM edit delete reply
Look up a comic called 8-bit theatre. Trust me
FanOfMostEverything 2nd Jun 2014, 6:57 PM edit delete reply
I realized it about a minute after that pithy comment up top and I didn't want to double-post.

I should probably get an account for this site at some point...
Parchment Scroll 4th Jun 2014, 9:35 AM edit delete reply
RD's story this strip is terrible... What GM would allow two players to sidetrack the game for as long as it takes to write up a contract?! Rule number one is that everyone should have fun. Two players putting the whole game on hold to screw over a third ruins the fun for pretty much everyone except the two players and MAYBE the DM.
The Angry Vegan 8th Jun 2014, 12:27 AM edit delete reply
Am I the only one wondering why she didn't just pummel them into negative hit points and take everything?