Page 450 - Favor of the Dice

5th Jun 2014, 6:00 AM in Sweet and Elite
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Favor of the Dice
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Author Notes:

Newbiespud 5th Jun 2014, 6:00 AM edit delete
Today’s subject for Story Time in the comments is that staple of all tabletop stories: The perfectly timed Natural 20.

Notice: Guest comic submissions are open! Guidelines here. Deadline: January 27th, 2023.



Guest 5th Jun 2014, 6:17 AM edit delete reply
A very recent natural 20 story from me, I was playing a wizard and it was the last session of a campaign, the huge city that our party was using as a base was under attack from some ancient godlike force and even with the hundreds of insanely powerful wizards occupying the city we were no match for it so they were enacting an ancient plan to use all the magical energy in the city in order to teleport it to a different plane in order to escape. While the ritual was being prepared the party ventured into the catacombs under the city in order to retrieve an ancient tablet needed to stabilise the spell, we returned with barely enough time to actually finish the ritual but since all the mages, wizards, etc were all busy maintaining this colossal ritual we needed to incorporate this final piece ourselves and naturally as the only magical talent in the party the job fell solely on me, failure meant the entire party, the city and everyone inside it would be wiped from existence, success meant we live to see another day, I rolled a 1. Everyone in the group groaned and facepalmed, I grabbed 3 D20s going for broke, I covered my eyes and threw all 3, the table went silent and when I opened my eyes I had actually rolled 3 natural 20s at the same time.
Adens 5th Jun 2014, 6:29 AM edit delete reply
Congratulations, that's a one in eight THOUSAND chance of that happening., that's amazing.
JimmyJim 5th Jun 2014, 9:41 AM edit delete reply
That's some impressive nat 20s right there.
Sorry to change subject very quickly though, but how do DMs and players do massive armies? It all just confuses me.
Lithxlen 5th Jun 2014, 9:50 AM DMing Armies edit delete reply
I haven't been a DM for a massive army before, but I have done smaller ones where the party, alone, was facing somewhere in the area of 300 enemies. For the most part, I did a lot of minions and just kept track number-wise of how many there were and their relative positions. Throughout the small army, I also had a few larger enemies, I think only around 20, and kept track of them like you normally would. I'm not sure how this would play out for larger armies, but it worked pretty decently for the smaller ones.
Jennifer 5th Jun 2014, 10:04 AM edit delete reply
Nothing says the DM has to roll for every soldier in a combat. There are any number of methods, from narrative ("OK, your side has lost and you're on the run") to a complex roll modified by factors such as the most recent adventure ("OK, you outnumber the enemy so that's +1 to the roll, but you're less experienced so that's -2. +3 because the party stole their battle plans but -4 because you let your side's general get assassinated. So a total -2 to the roll. Roll 7 or less and your side retreats, 11 and you barely win, 15 and the enemy retreat.")
modulusshift 5th Jun 2014, 10:17 PM edit delete reply
I've DM'd a massive combat before, I managed to justify some preparations including a underground tunnel system that allowed me to model a huge battle as a series of smaller fights whenever the dice made a certain area of the battlefield turn in the opponent's favor. The players were a strike force, and in the last push, the enemy general was leading the charge, and even though she was massively OP, they managed to survive with the help of a trap.
It went amazingly, but required so much hand waving to work that we still laugh at how ridiculous it was years after the fact. But hey, ridiculous and fun to play trumps boringly in character almost any day, especially for my campaigns.
Digo 6th Jun 2014, 5:51 AM edit delete reply
I remember that the GURPS 3rd edition Wild West book had a really good abstract system for mass combat. I built upon that for running Civil War era stuff and it worked out well. The PCs totally loved leading armies.
Waffles Everywhere 6th Jun 2014, 5:06 PM edit delete reply
I once had a campaign where I planned to have such events, but it fell flat for other reasons. However, I know there is a 3.5 book on the topic (possibly 3.0, not too sure).

It's called the Heroes of Battle. You can find it on the 3.5srd that's free and legal. I'll leave a link for it at the end, but it goes over the general "how to run a war campaign" pretty darn effectively. You don't even need to be playing 3.5 for this book to give you some really nice tips. Just a few pointers that I can point out right now? The players shouldn't be part of the grunts that go to the front lines. Too much combat and NPCs to roll for. Rather, they should be a part of a small battalion that takes key objectives that will help sway the war in their favor. Does the enemy have a strong band of archers on that hilltop over there? Have the players get rid of them, then hold the position until reinforcements can arrive and secure the location. As for how the battle itself is turning out, don't calculate it out roll for roll, but rather go with your gut. Should the ogres be squashing the smaller humans on the front line? Probably. Those ogres would be pushing that front line hard if it weren't for the archers and magic users that keep them at bay. Unless the Players can stop the battalion of ogres from getting to that group of allied wizards over there, the Humans should be able to push back effectively.
Kronys 6th Jun 2014, 5:59 PM edit delete reply
The best method I've seen for massive army combats in D&D was when my DM treated it like swarm combat. X many soldiers/orcs/whatever constitute one swarm and hp represents how many dudes are still alive, healing could be seen as reinforcements or army clerics doing their thing and so on.
Solario the Visored 7th Jun 2014, 4:24 PM edit delete reply
I had a DM once who did a massive army scenario, and the players each commanded some troops of their own. The way he did it was, we were each given control of a few different types of troops, in small contingents. Each group would move as we ditrected them, and we'd make basic attack rolls to see how effective they were when meeting an enemy.

To tie this into the story time subject: We were undead at the time (thanks to his vampire god) and fighting demons trying to take over the world. I sent my battallion of vampires in to attack and rolled a natural 20. Turns out demon blood makes vampires violently explode!
Trus Nam 5th Jun 2014, 6:20 AM edit delete reply
Ok so this happened to a brother of a friend of mine I knew a while back and it's more of a series of nat 20's followed perfectly by a nat 1.
So the brother is playing a half-ling rouge and is scouting in front of the group to spot enemies before they get spotted and he is the weakling of the group so he never really got to show his stuff. But one time while scouting ahead, he comes across two armored soldiers and decides he can take em before the group can arrive (even tough if he got a bad roll he would likely get killed).
He charges in, rolls a crit 20, slides in-between the first guy's legs, chops his balls, runs around the second guy, bounces off a tree (for a back-stab bonus), crits another 20, and hides in a tree for the end of his turn.
The soldiers loose track of him and spot the other players coming up and go after them.
Then the rouge jumps back out of the tree crits 20 to kill the first soldier, then throws his sword at the second soldier, gets a -5 to hit for throwing a non-throwing item, crits 20, cuts the soldiers head clean off, runs up to round house kick the head and critically misses.
He lands in mud, and stays there until his teammates pick him up.
Malik 5th Jun 2014, 9:56 PM edit delete reply
Gotta love the super big-deal twenties, though I also love when you get a perfectly timed twenty on the little stuff.

I played in a side campaign once (Holding off from our main one due to missing players) where both I and another player were rangers; the head of the party was the one hiring the rest of the characters, and the other ranger arrived first.

The party leader asks this character to demonstrate her skill before he invites her along on this expedition, so she draws her bow and puts an arrow in the knothole of a tree some 300 feet away- pretty hefty penalty for distance, and a tiny target. He's impressed, and she joins up.

My character arrived about fifteen minutes later, and the leader says "I don't know if we've got much use for ANOTHER archer- I've just hired one, you see. How good a shot are you?" He gestures to the arrow, which was left in the tree. In response, my character draws his bow as well. "Easy Target." I roll a Nat 20.

I split the previous arrow's shaft down the center, and he hired me on the spot.
Guest 5th Jun 2014, 6:21 AM edit delete reply
I've only been DMing for about a year now, and I've seen far too many well timed nat 20s. I think the best was when the party rogue was trapped in a room full of traps trying to kill him and everyone failed their strength checks to open the door. I had set up the room on a timer dependent on how many living things were inside. Party of six, two rounds per person seemed like a viable thing to do. Of course no one but the rogue entered this dark room. I was expecting them to get long enough to make some search checks, find the mechanisms or secret door and effectively defeat the room. Well, the rogue goes in alone, freaks out and crit fails a reflex save and drops his torch. Total darkness and still being attacked by the traps. Luckily everyone on the outside is trying to break through this locked door. No one rolls higher than an 8. The party ranger decides to shoot the door. I let him thinking he won't do much: arrow vs. door and all that. And of course he rolls a 20 and blows the door in.
Well, the perfectly timed Nat 20. I've got one, but this one I was the DM, it was a series of 20s, and it was perfection, for me at least.

So I had been DMing with several different groups off and on for something around the last 3 years, and having just moved into college, I started up a new party as quick as I could. The guys were noobs, but they were taking to it pretty quick. However, the druid was failing to exploit my favorite part of the druid, the animal companion.

He'd chosen a hawk and it had suffered the fate of many a familiar. The "Use your hawk." "I have a hawk? Oh, yeah. Guess I'll use it." syndrome. Completely forgotten in 80% of combats and 100% of non-combat situations. I was getting peeved at this so in one combat I just told him to give me free control of the hawk and I'd control it for him. He was happy, he hated controlling two units, and completely forgot.

This combat was a scenario where a necromancer cult was trying to break their leader out of prison, and had flown a wyvern zombie onto the roof. A trio of necromancers, lead by a chief cultist, were summoning undead and buffing the wyvern while another cultist worked on rescuing their leader. The first round of combat, the wyvern rushes the group, knocks the wizard off the building, and locks up the tank in combat. The druid gets ray of exhausted and the rogue can't maneuver to do anything. I tell them I'm flying the hawk over to hover over the chief cultist and AoO whenever he casts. The party generally ignores this, thinking the hawk useless.

The second round of combat starts. The chief cultist moves first, tries to cast a spell. The hawk AoOs. I roll three 20s in a row on his attack. We use the optional roll where this is an instant kill. I declare to the group that the hawk has just swooped down and tore the cultist's head off in a brilliant spray of gore, turning the fight in the party's favor. Immediately the party finds an eagle screaming sound effect and it now gets played whenever the hawk attacks. Whenever. The hawk is now seen as a leader to be followed into battle and is regularly consulted for advice on how to proceed. I love that bird so much.
super_big_mac 5th Jun 2014, 9:25 AM @Glowing Friendship Eyes edit delete reply
So... you had Bird Jesus on your side?

Summoned Singer 5th Jun 2014, 9:03 PM edit delete reply
Summoned Singer
Dome dammit, stop it with the TPP!
Biorenewologist 7th Jun 2014, 12:00 AM edit delete reply
Amber encourages such shows of loyalty to the Way of the Fossil. Praise be!
Dugong 5th Jun 2014, 6:23 AM edit delete reply
My group had a gem of a 20 just the other day.

The DM forgot to bring his campaign book so we did a quick one shot at lvl 4, the party had a barbarian, cleric, monk, knight and a warlock (me). Pretty much everyone was geared to smash face.

One of the encounters had us trying (and failing) to hide from a bandit group alongside a road, but the giant mutant dog sniffed us out. The leader of this little group had a whip and a dagger while the rest had clubs. And boy that leader should not have gotten out of bed that day.

First round I use one of my warlock powers to sicken him, on his turn he uses the whip to try to disarm the barbarians greataxe, considering the greataxe was two handed, the whip was a light weapon and he has the pentaly from being sick, he lost, AND lost the whip in the process.

Next turn I decide to be a jerk and use my at will Shatter to break his dagger! by this point he was almost the last guy standing, on his turn he decides to try to pick up the whip, the monk took the first attack of opportunity and managed to trip him, then the barbarian rolled the natural 20, and another 20 to confirm. the resulting damage was disgusting, even after rolling 3 2's from the greataxes d12's.

It just wasn't his day.
Derpmind 5th Jun 2014, 6:28 AM edit delete reply
Rainbow Dash has always talked in-character. And "-y" is a totally legitimate usage of language because it communicates exactly what you think it means.
Adens 5th Jun 2014, 6:32 AM edit delete reply
No story from me, but I just have to say, Rainbow is going to go from Not-caring-about-lore to completely-drowned-with-it in the next comic. And we finally get more information about your Wonderbolts!
Guest 5th Jun 2014, 6:36 AM edit delete reply
In a Star Wars Campain, set during the Knights of the Old Republic time, a sith trooper was holding a NPC senator as hostage, ready to shoot him. Our noble was trying to reason with him, but this was going nowhere, while my rouce/scout was hiding outside, aiming at the trooper. The rest of the party was elsewhere, as we decided to split up once again. I waited till our nobel provoced the Sith trooper enough that he pointed his rifel at him and shoot right at the moment when it was pointing between them so that he could not shoot any of them with a prepeared action. My attack was not the best becaus I was mulit-classed, but luck was on my side: Natural 20, near-maxed damage rolled on crit: Headshot, hostage saved.
Razomyure 5th Jun 2014, 6:38 AM edit delete reply
Three Nat 20s in a row on attack rolls. (Using the optional rule where that's an instant kill, without even having to roll damage.)

Against a guy who was something like ten levels higher than we were, and was going to be the recurring BBEG. The first time we met him.

And before we found out that he was evil from some items (I don't even remember what) that he had on his body.

Thankfully, I was playing a rather Charismatic Hexblade at the time... and ever since then I've made a habit of putting full points into Bluff, regardless of what class I play, just in case.
L 5th Jun 2014, 6:41 AM edit delete reply
I've already used these stories in past story times, but I figure a couple of the stories would still fit here.

"The first was in the first scene of the game. A flaming meteor hit a tavern we were all gathering in, and as the battle began, one of the players-who went by the name Gene Ericson in this game-decided that he'd do something a bit unusual. You see, Gene was from the land of Brodea, where anything can be solved by making the cause of a problem your bro. So, he rolled to befriend the fire on the meteor. Everyone had a good chuckle at this, but then the GM completely shut down when Gene rolled a 20, right after a detailed explanation on how 20s were the best possible success and 1s were the worst possible failures in his own house rules. The fire revealed itself to be an elemental that accepted Gene's offer of friendship before vanishing. This totally threw off his plans for the first battle, too."

And, later on:

"At one point, one of the wizards created a wall of fire, and we were running out of options to stop him. Gene decided he was going to roll to befriend the fire one last time as a last-ditch effort. The GM was sure that it was gonna fail-but a nat 20 sent him into silence and the chat into manic laughter. The fire elemental from the meteor returned and proceeded to chat with Gene for a moment before SHOVING THE WALL OF FIRE DOWN THE WIZARD'S OWN THROAT."

One new one I'm gonna mention here was a good Nat 20 that led to the naming of our group. My character's horse was with the party while we tried to look for something in a dark cave. Everyone rolled low in their perception checks, and just as we were about to leave, I ask, "Why not let the horse roll?" Everyone has a good chuckle, and the GM says it has to be a 20 to work.

The 20 dropped and the horse soon became revered by a goblin horde in the cavern. We soon decided to name our party after the horse: The Brotherhood of Momotaros.
Digo 5th Jun 2014, 6:43 AM edit delete reply
GURPS uses a 3d6 system, so the equivalent is rolling a "Natural 3".

Our modern day Superhero team was attacked by Yakuza in downtown Japan. During the fight in the streets, the leader and his driver decided to make a spectacle of their getaway by running over The Great and Powerful Trixie with a Mercedez.

The GM gave Trixie (my character) very few options on dodging this as she was caught by surprise. Trixie decided to attempt to jump over the speeding car and unbuckle her cape as she did so. Failure to make the difficult jump check meant getting struck by the front bumper. I rolled the dice and got snakes eyes (the 3rd die fell off the table and had to be re-rolled). I reroll it and in lands on a 1 without bouncing. Critical success!

Trixie jumps up on the hood, unbuckles her cape, canters over the roof and down on the ground behind the Mercedes. Her cape snagged on the windshield of the car and the blinded driver rear-ends a truck. :D
Specter 5th Jun 2014, 9:21 AM edit delete reply
Congrats, Trixie is great, not powerful, but certanly Great.
Digo 6th Jun 2014, 6:15 AM edit delete reply
Heehee, none of the other PCs really thought of Trixie as powerful. Tolerable more like it. :D But that was something I found fun about playing the character. Trying to prove yourself as being awesome.
Disloyal Subject 5th Jun 2014, 6:49 AM edit delete reply
Disloyal Subject
A series of poor decisions while using shapeshifting to impersonate a mark led to me knocking myself unconscious in a last-ditch effort to overcome said mark's butler, who was apparently a wrestler, by headbutting him in the face. When I woke up, I was soundly trussed up in rope, and she was free of the cocoon we'd left her in... in the middle of her gloating/interrogation, I got sick of listening, and asked to roll Athletics to bust out. The GM chuckled, informing me that the DC would be crazy-high, but allowed it.
Nat 20. Ropes burst, falling away, and my foe immediately shut up to run screaming for backup before I chased her down and bit her. Tactically sound, my decisions are not, but they are definitely satisfying.
Specter 5th Jun 2014, 9:22 AM edit delete reply
Yes, they are.

Disloyal Subject 5th Jun 2014, 2:08 PM Critical Success edit delete reply
Disloyal Subject
Thanks! It's Tempus' holy symbol, from Forgotten Realms. An honorable CN god of war, so pretty much everyone likes or tolerates him except the CE war god he smacks around on occasion. I've had it in mind for a LONG time - about 20 pages into my second archive trawl of this comic, when I started reading the comments.
Kynrasian 5th Jun 2014, 6:52 AM edit delete reply
Damn, I already used my one about this topic pages ago.

And I'm pretty sure I used the story about getting critted three times in a row by pineapples as well.
Disloyal Subject 5th Jun 2014, 2:09 PM Yes I read them all edit delete reply
Disloyal Subject
Pineapples? Doesn't sound familiar.. Do tell!
Colin 5th Jun 2014, 7:00 AM edit delete reply
Our DM tends to go for the epic. The last session, we were plunging to the bottom of the sea, trapped inside an arena dome with my insane alternate-universe counterpart who had turned herself into a dragon after killing the person who brought her there. Did I mention we were there to take a piece of her soul?

Now, our party had each gained a soul-powered reality-warping "thought engine" in the previous dimension, though us having 1/3rd of our souls nerfed them somewhat. The storm sorcerer got elemental manipulation, the paladin supreme defence, and the artificer turned into a Gundam. Mine, the TK psion's, was somewhat different - I manipulated the fabric of reality itself. Previously, I'd used it to fuse together the bones of a boss to immobilise him, boil the jelly in his eyes to blind him and tried to freeze him solid. Any weird and impossible thing I wanted to try was declared to the DM, then an Arcana roll would decide the degree of success.

Every so often, dragon-alt!me would breathe a lance of pure energy so powerful it would leave a line of lava along the floor and punch a hole in the side, and we had to dodge or take a hefty chink of damage. I would hastily fuse a chunk of rock into the hole with my thought engine to stop the water from drowning us. The third time this happened, I levitated the rock over to block it, rolled Arcana... crit! The DM ruled that the arena was now impervious to the breath weapon - all holes sealed up, all lines of lava extinguished. Unfortunately, the next time alt!me used her beam-breath, it hit the side and rebounded... and rebounded again, pinging around inside the dome 5-6 times until it finally dissipated. It hit her more than once, but we also had to step lively to avoid being fried. We beat her in the end, I got my piece of soul and teleported out.
Hubris Plus 5th Jun 2014, 7:14 AM edit delete reply
Okay, so I've got a couple.

The first was a superhero campaign where the players were going up against five Harbingers who wanted to unmake the world for various reasons. This session they met the Herald of Mercy, who was of the opinion that existence was a terrible burden.

She'd gathered a huge cult of the downtrodden and had been using it to make trouble across the city. That day they'd all gathered in one place for a sermon, and the heroes went out to deal with them.

By this point the party was strong enough that hundreds of unpowered mooks weren't a threat to them, but they also lacked anything non-lethal to deal with them. Not wanting to kill a bunch of people down on their luck, the party diplomancer steps up and says he's going to talk them down.

I tell him that's going to take one hell of a roll, even with all of his bonuses.

Nat 20.

I tell him he better have one hell of a roleplay to back up that roll. He stands up, clears his throat, and:

"I know it's not too classy,
Begging just to eat.
But you know who does that? Lassie!
And she always gets a treat..."

Sings the whole damn song from memory, with the other players catching on and doing the backup. I give him an extra +5. Four fifths of the cultists quit and go off to live their lives. Admittedly, one of them founded a NEW cult that most of them joined, but they mostly just handed out pamphlets.

The second was an encounter with a couple of demi-gods with a grudge. One of them had cornered the party cleric and brought him down far enough that the next hit would be certain death. Everyone else is busy or out of range, and the cleric is out of disabling spells and hasn't got anything with enough oomph to finish the guy off. Desperate, he starts going through his inventory (the system didn't have AoOs, so he could still draw weapons).

"Emergency flail? No. Bag of doorknobs? No. Book of the Dead? No corpses at hand. Cloak of the Traveler? N- Wait, yes. Time for plan T!"

For those who haven't had a magnificent encounter forever burn this otherwise dull magic item into their memories: The Cloak of the Traveler is a cloak which can turn into a tent large enough for four, and issues eight fruits and four jugs of tea (hot or cold at the user's wish) per day. The cleric only had it because he was a homeless crazy person who got thrown out of inns pretty regularly.

He reaches into his cloak, calls forth a jug of the hottest tea it can manage, and hurls it in the demi-god's face. I make up a table for the effects of hot tea to the face on the spur of the moment, and let him roll.

He rolls a Nat twenty, the demi-god rolls a Nat one on his save. Spends the rest of the combat blindly throwing around AoEs, and the cleric manages to avoid all of them.

To this day, "Plan T" is STILL in the party's lexicon and trotted out in the most dire of situations.
modulusshift 5th Jun 2014, 10:38 PM edit delete reply
Oh gosh, the guy who sung the freaking Captain Hammer song is officially my hero... Did he grab someone when he mentioned Penny?
I'm really surprised I never thought of combining Dr. Horrible with RPGs...
Sparky 5th Jun 2014, 7:15 AM edit delete reply
Our Kingmaker campaign began with our party founding a colony. Due to various house rules and character backstory things, we quickly managed to spiral completely out of line with most of the original AP (if the GM's comments are anything to go by), and adding the mythic rules into things has only added to the mix.

We'd just finished an errand for our sponsoring country when we returned home to find word that my character's (the ruler) estranged father was leading an army to wrest control of the colony from his daughter under the pretense that she had been replaced with an unconvincing doppelganger (gotta love a campaign with heavy use of reincarnation) before the brewing civil war back home breaks out.

After an extended interlude where the spymistress sicced the wyldfae of the colony on the army, completely demolishing their morale and fighting capabilities, we were easily able to convince the nobleman, the son of our colony's direct sponsor, that my character's father had convinced to lend his armies to the cause for a peaceful negotiation.

Turned out he'd only had about half the story and was easily convinced to take the troops back home without a fight; the fighting back home had begun, and the battalions he'd borrowed would be missed. So on a wild gamble, my character decided "since he's in a good mood about this and we have a lot of logical reasons..." to ask for independence.

GM: "...All right, roll diplomacy."
me: "Yeah before I even roll, I'm throwing everything into this. Mythic surge. Is this one-on-one for the purposes of my legalistic curse?"
GM: "Sure."
me: "...thaaat's a nat 20, and...gimme a sec. 60."
GM: "..."

She had to write a very nicely worded letter to send back home to their sponsor. As for how it went, we recently roleplayed out my character's wedding to the invading nobleman to seal the new country's first formal alliance.
Masterweaver 5th Jun 2014, 7:16 AM edit delete reply
I opened a door.

It was totally epic.
Specter 5th Jun 2014, 9:23 AM edit delete reply
Fallout is Dragons?
CmndrHurricane 5th Jun 2014, 7:23 AM edit delete reply
one question. does the addon "natural" have any particular meaning? is there an unnatual 20?
Razomyure 5th Jun 2014, 7:28 AM edit delete reply
A "Natural" roll is just whatever the dice show, without any mods added - so a Natural (or Nat) 20 is just rolling and having it come up on a 20, as opposed to, say, rolling a 17 and having a +3 modifier which would result in a 20.
RileaSW 5th Jun 2014, 7:39 AM edit delete reply
Though it does remind me of a rule I use in my d20 groups. I think I picked it up here.

We call unnatural 20s "Tech(nical) 20s." They basically have the same purpose as a Natural 20, meaning an automatic success. However, they ALSO count as a Fumble. So the player is given the option of taking the tech 20 or not. If they do, they basically break their arm punching out Cthulhu. It has come in useful every so often. Especially when one player was trying to cast a magic spell at a GOD! (The player was level 25, but they god they hit was unstated.)
TrueWolves 5th Jun 2014, 7:36 AM edit delete reply
In a sense, yes. Natural mearly means it was done before any penalties or bonuses. Rolling an 18 when you can add 2 would be a 20, but not a 'natural' 20. Getting the highest (or lowest) possible result with any given set of dice usualy has an additional effect in games, and is distinguised with "Natural" or unmodified.
RileaSW 5th Jun 2014, 7:33 AM edit delete reply
Not a perfectly timed Natural 20, but in a game I play using a d100 system (same rules as Call of Cthulhu) one of my allies made the most hilarious double ought in history. Luckily he was just trying to make a sword, but the way he delivered it was just comedy gold.

"Guys, I have a 99 in this skill, there's no way I can fail!"

If you don't get it, in Basic Roleplay, you need to roll UNDER your skill to succeed.
ArcheonZ 5th Jun 2014, 7:34 AM edit delete reply
I was playing Conan with some friends of mine and we were up against this ultra-powerful sorceress. She had already used her spell gaze or whatever to paralyze me and the thief, so the barbarian goes after her. The sorceress is on a flying horse, so she's wicked hard to hit and all the barbarian has is this long axe she picked up during the first session. She swings as the sorceress comes in - BAM - nat 20. Perfect hit, but it got even better with what happened next.
Our GM uses a crit deck, which has a pile of cards with different effects depending on how the hit was rolled. The barbarian pulls out a card, gets this huge grin on her face and hands it back to the GM, whose face drops in shock.
"You guys blinded her. I don't believe it. I came in here prepared to kill every one of you at this session and you blinded her."
The sorceress was not dead, but she had been robbed of her most powerful weapon. And then she ran away, so me and the thief go after her, since her spell was broken now. I took a shot from my bow, rolled a 20, and nailed her from a 100 feet away. It still wasn't enough to take her down, but we felt unstoppable.
Boris Carlot 5th Jun 2014, 8:27 AM edit delete reply
We had a tough fight against the dungeon boss due to lacking a tank (stage-dived into lava) and a wizard who was out of spells. The boss had summoned obscuring mist to make things that much more "fun" and was using the power of a cursed tree to summon nasty little shrubbery monsters at us too. As a bard in light armour, I was the closest we had to a front-line guy, with an archer paladin laying on hands behind me to keep me on my feet.

Inevitably, I took more damage than the paladin could heal and got knocked down. The paladin managed to LOH me back to consciousness but I couldn't stand up without eating four AOOs. I decided to fake unconsciousness but all four of them managed to beat my bluff roll. Instead of attacking me, they grabbed me and dragged me off towards the evil tree filled with screaming souls. I doubt they were bringing me to a tea party in the shade of it.

None of the group could see where I'd been dragged, I was surrounded, I had 2hp and the boss was still flying around and doing hit and runs like the wildshaped bat asshole he was. Archer paladin's turn came up and he just barely passed a perception check to spot the boss. He took a shot and rolled a nat 20, confirmed and rolled max damage on his damage roll using a 3x crit weapon. The GM ruled that the surviving players glimpsed a flash of light and the Paladin's god standing behind him to draw back his bow. It smited the druid, ending his spells. The minions crumbled to twigs, the cursed tree they were hauling me towards turned into a dead, rotten log and the druid's corpse got nailed to it by the force of the blow.

My bard promised to tell awesome stories about it, the wizard decided he wanted to convert to the Paladin's religion there and then and the GM lost a would-be recurring BBEG (aren't they always in these stories?).
Willowisp 5th Jun 2014, 8:28 AM edit delete reply
I don't think that I can do this one justice, so I'm just going to transcribe this moment. For context; someone had to leave to deal with something, and the party was discussing things while they were gone.

Leaflet: never change, Fethur
Roll a nat 20 and the moon will auto die
Leaflet: rolling 1d20
Diggoron: rolling 1d20
Selphy: I got this shit
Copic Pen: rolling 1d20
Selphy: omfg Grenin you suck
Diggoron: therewasanattempt
Copic Pen: We just can't do it xD
Selphy: rolling 1d20
Grenin: rolling 1d20
Leaflet: quick
Grenin: rolling 1d20
Leaflet: roll again for Rupee
Grenin: rolling 1d20
rolling 1d20
Selphy: Grenin's cheating
Diggoron: Copic you roll better as yourself
Darmani: rolling 1d20
Diggoron: Grenin just sucks at life
Krissie: rolling 1d20
Izar: rolling 1d20
Yule: rolling 1d20
Copic Pen: rolling 1d20
rolling 1d20
rolling 1d20
Bomber Notebook: rolling 1d20
Fethur: rolling 1d20
aw man
If that was a 20
Willowisp (GM): lol
Copic Pen: rolling 1d20
Krissie: I woulda just fucking ragequit
CaptainHoers: even the Bomber Notebook couldn't do it
Krissie: rolling 1d20
Morrow R.: rolling 1d20
Selphy's Spellbook: rolling 1d20
CaptainHoers: rolling 1d20
Rupee the Cat: rolling 1d20
Copic Pen: rolling 1d20
CaptainHoers: we're so silly
Copic Pen: rolling 1d20
Deku Scrub (Solaire): rolling 1d20
Copic Pen: rolling 1d100
CaptainHoers: i think that's my dinner xD
Gwyndolin the Puppy: rolling 1d20
CaptainHoers WHOOSH
Mikau: rolling 1d20
Enjoy dinner!
rolling 1d20
Copic Pen: We all suck
Fethur: Ok
I got this
rolling 1d20
I wanted that to be a 1
Fethur: so badly
Krissie: Fethur can only roll high when in danger

Krissie starts stabbing Yule repeatedly. Only a nat 20 will save her.

Yule: WHY ME
Fethur: rolling 1d20
Copic Pen: I quit
Krissie: omfg
Morrow R.: Pfffft
Krissie: I have NEVER laughed this hard
Yule: I cant breathe
It hurts
It hurts to breathe
Copic Pen: dying
Jannard 5th Jun 2014, 8:35 AM edit delete reply
Natural 20? How about four of those in a row? And then an 18?

Let's just say the player ended up capturing the heavily overpowered enemy all by himself (the rest of our characters were elsewhere) and stealing her awesome curse, all in only a couple moves. We joked that he had stolen all his luck from the person to his right, who had gotten 2 nat 1's in a row and then a 2 just minutes before.
Venellian 5th Jun 2014, 8:40 AM edit delete reply
So it wasn't a Nat 20, but it was still funny, nevertheless.

I was teaching some friends how to play dnd (level one); they were brothers, one playing a bard and the other a Druid.
A friend of the druid('s player) came along to play as well, and he was going to play an elven cleric. The bard half-elf hadn't managed to be useful in combat whatsoever so far, instead managing to woo a town of very racist elves into just loving him. Then he finds a dwarf invader.
After he finds that his crossbow is useless at hitting the dwarf (low rolls, as always), he picks up a cat and throws it. Since we're all having fun, I let him.
Nat 1.
I had just mentioned that the cleric was coming up behind the dwarf, and would be able to attack right after the bard... but then he got hit by a cat.
I had had the bard roll to hit the cleric... And he got a crit, killing the cleric in one hit with a cat, literally his first (and only) kill of the campaign (with that character, at least).

The cleric player got to come back with an identical character and they killed the dwarf... by going onto a ten foot tall wall, the cleric rolling a Nat 1 and his weapon going off of the wall, going after it, and then the dwarf failing an intelligence check, jumping off of the wall, and failing a tumble check, taking enough damage to put him into dying (the cleric had done like 2 points of damage to him already).

The party was terrible in combat, with the summoned monsters being the ones doing the most damage, as well as the exploding Kevin (Nat 1, roll on a list because it was a magical attack, he explodes on touch, and then be gets hit by the paladin, knocking out both opposing paladins), that cat (should've been recruited, though the cleric played as a cat the next time), and the pony (just a regular pony that a player played as).

Although a summoned badger would've insta-killed a giant zombie, had it not been immune to crits.
Rentok 5th Jun 2014, 8:50 AM edit delete reply
We're at a festival, and my Alchemist has the brilliant idea to join a rock-crushing contest, a Goliath test of strength, without using mutagens or extracts to cheat or anything.

So it's "roll a strength check, then an unarmed damage roll" Natural 20 on the strength check, then maximum damage on the unarmed damage roll.

... make's crushing rocks, seem such a breeze!
kiapet 5th Jun 2014, 8:52 AM edit delete reply
I think I've told this story before, but it's worth repeating.
Our fighter had been captured and left in a cell in the Undercity, a thieves' city underground. He escaped from the cell and rolled a Gather Information check to find his way out. He rolled a natural 20. Our DM was so frazzled she had to pause the game and call a friend. He ended up skipping the entire adventure and coming up in our landlady's basement.
Hariman 5th Jun 2014, 8:58 AM edit delete reply
Heh. The biggest Natural 20 I can remember was a barbarian Vs a Cryo-Hydra.

With a Greataxe.

It took over 90 points of damage off of it, and triggered a massive damage save. Which the hydra failed. On a critical failure.

Quite frankly, it rescued the party from near certain death/TPK, as until then, the Hydra had been kicking our asses hard.
StarshineDash 5th Jun 2014, 9:06 AM edit delete reply
Nat 20 stories, eh? I have one for you.
Our party, consisting of a half-dragon fighter/sorceror, half-giant barbarian, dwarven cleric, and a dwarven fighter was facing off against the BBEGal in a suitably epic location while our armies waged war around us.

Since we all went in order in initiative after the BBEG, we just decided to all-in and attack.

Five nat 20s around the table. Followed by three more for confirmation, and then two for the insta-kill.

The DM decided that we did essentially a X-slash maneuver (Chrono Trigger/Cross) with five people and she basically turned into a fine pink meat jelly.
q97randomguy 5th Jun 2014, 9:16 AM edit delete reply
In the pony RPG I was playing a while back, I was the unicorn mage, Rising Star. He had, much to my surprise, fallen very much in love with the other unicorn, the rogue named Aileris. Unfortunately, we were forced into a situation where we thought it imperative to have a lookout for wandering soldiers, and Star stayed behind with an couple NPCs to guard the rest of the party.

About half an hour later, I was called to roll perception, and I passed the check. I heard fighting coming from the rest of the party. So my character and the NPCs rushed from our posts to try to help. When we arrived at the bottom of the stairs, we found that there was a huge and heavily enchanted door blocking our path. From the other side, I could hear Aileris screaming in pain and the hoofsteps of something huge.

We needed to get through that door.

And through the power of a natural twenty, Star completely blew it off its hinges with a gigantic fireball.

We proceeded to fight a big, ugly zombie/robot sort of amalgamation of parts that was mostly pony, and Star decapitated it, saving his fillyfriend.

Ah, good times.
Specter 5th Jun 2014, 9:34 AM edit delete reply
Our GM had us playing a team vs. team battle campaign thing, and we were trying to get the kings favor so he would send us on this giant quest with himself so we could become absurdly rich. (This was a MLP campaign, and not everyone was happy about it... But I was.)

Team 1-
Lazully the Gem finder (Pegasus)
Backbone the muscle (Earth Pony)
Talon the leader (Earth pony with dragon assistent (when I asked if any relation to spike, he didn't get it.)
and Power Ball the gambler (Unicorn).

Team 2-
Scope the Sniper (Unicorn)
Bale Fire the Demolitionist (Pegasus)
Hex the Zebra (Zebra, and leader)
(Me) Dirk the minion (Earth Pony).

To be Cont... (Got to do something, be back when can).
Specter 5th Jun 2014, 4:34 PM edit delete reply

Anyway, continuing from before.

So, our two rivaling teams were trying to get more renown so we could be contracted as his escort on a high paying mission, but to do that, we had to prove ourselves via become more popular. It's not hard to become popular, but in a 1 year campaign, it gets kind of tedious, and we had a lot of plans to just blow the other side out of the water. Literally.

One such instance was this, 2 of our members (Scope and Balefire) were being held hostage by team one, and wanted our largest asset as theirs (at the time, a gem mining factory Lazully wanted). We had one of their members (Talon) our hostage. Our plan was to trade their LEADER for our two guys, but their plan was to execute our people.

Hex went off to negotiate with Power Ball for the release, leaving me (a "minion) to watch the enemy boss. It wasn't too bad, he actually believed (in character) his guys would come and save him (out of character, he was losing it). Well, at the time, I hadn't told anyone yet, but I was actually a knight of Nightmare Moon, and I was waiting for a chance to execute him (he was REALLY patient, and quite friendly, to my guy).

At the deal, Hex had turned on his microphone and went inside an abandoned warehouse to negotiate, and was instantly seized by Backbone... When Talon and I heard what happened from our base, I negotiated with him for the release of my entire team for this dishonorable act (I was praying a miracle for this). He did say yes (he was like a samurai pony or something, with a dragon talon as his sword I should point out, so yay), but said he needed it to look like he had escaped from the building so it didn't look like it was rigged. I agreed, but said not to try too hard, because I was against a railing with this dark swirl cloud at the bottom (rent was cheap here, why not).

Cue Nat 20, and me falling into the black swirl cloud and... dying. He was kind of sad and happy for this event, but actually kept to his side of the bargain and released my team. No funeral was had, but a new character was made. (Yay!)
Digo 5th Jun 2014, 5:22 PM edit delete reply
Interesting how the timing was for a 20 that resulted in you demise, but cool story still!
Specter 5th Jun 2014, 10:51 PM edit delete reply
Yeah, I actually get that kind of luck, but as it turned out, my character survived, but became very, unstably, insane. (No funeral YET a least.)
Specter 6th Jun 2014, 2:31 PM edit delete reply
Simply because I am narcissistic (-ish?), I'm putting the video of the page here instead of the bottom.

Double video!

1) About the page, we need epicenes, and I found this.

(Rooster Teeth) Let's Play! Minecraft, Clouds

2) I am very sad, agitated, and not very happy in general. I am graduating tonight, and found this video. Thank you Google.

Next page, I will get a new picture as well.
Jackobol Trades 5th Jun 2014, 9:35 AM edit delete reply
When playing Pathfinder one day, the group that I had been DMing for had become wanderers, and just ignored the long term goals that they started with, and ignored every single quest opportunity I gave them.

Eventually, the party reaches Riddleport, a port city with a giant mystical arch over the river mouth that nobody had been able to activate in hundreds of years. Cue the party, level 5, taking a crack at it.

The druid can't figure it out, the cleric's got no idea, and the rogue can't lockpick it. So the monk punches it.

Cue the natural 20. I have no idea what this arch is supposed to do, so I improv on the spot that it's an old monkish gateway, used for quick travel between monasteries. So it transports them to the middle of a giant rainforest.

At that point, despite the majestic critical they just got, the party rerolled their characters because they were bored. Now, I should mention that the druid also had a few majestic criticals at the very beginning of the game.

Their first fight was on the Celestial plane, having been summoned to receive a prophecy. A few minor demons (read: demon pixies) showed up to prevent this prophecy from being carried out. During the fight with the demons, the druid's animal companion, a horse, chewed and swallowed an unlucky imp, and the druid rolled to see if the horse, Buttercup, gained any demonic energy. Lo and behold on a natural 20 constitution roll, it bypasses all sicknesses from eating filthy demon flesh and gained demonic powers and a hunger for flesh. Buttercup became the party's tank.

Later, just before the party rerolled, they encountered some angels who had been looking for Buttercup in order to exterminate him, thinking him an abomination. When the party beat down the angels, the druid let Buttercup eat them. She then asked if he gained angelic powers. One natural 20 later, he did.

After the party rerolled, they asked what became of Buttercup. I decided to ask the mighty D20 of fate, and it came up 20. Turns out that Buttercup slowly gained sapience from his influx of extraplanar energies and became omniversally sexually compatible and almost unfailingly fertile. So he makes himself an army of centaurs and attempts the Test of the Starstone (go through a trap-riddled, monster filled maze that screws up any attempts at magic in order to ascend to godhood) and succeeds.

Buttercup went from humble druid animal companion to god of halfbreeds in the span of a year. The druid was very proud of her horse.
Crazy Tom 5th Jun 2014, 10:44 PM edit delete reply
Nice story! Love the part about ascending to god of halfbreeds. Actually reminds me of one of my own stories.

We were playing pathfinder at 20th level, and I was a fighter who specialized in mounted charging. Due to rules shenanigans and a certain fighter archetype, I was able to make all of my attacks after a charge, and since I wielded two lances which each dealt something like 6x damage on mounted charges at 8 attacks per round, I dealt a lot of damage in a round. The DM decides for a final dungeon we should fight something ridiculous, but he underestimated my damage and I walked his stuff.

He didn't like that, not at all, especially since he was one of those wizard-supremacists who couldn't accept that a class like fighter could be so good, so he decided to kill me off by fiat when one of the colossal enemies I killed falls on me. I've known him for a long time, and I knew he was really angry, so I didn't protest, but I just asked him if I could save my horse, Sherbert. Contrary to many games, I had actually paid attention to my animal friend very often, and we'd had a good run together, so the DM relented and allowed me to roll reflex to try and save Sherbert. As you might expect, nat 20, and my fighter's last action is to heroically save his loyal steed from being crushed by the falling Titan.

Sherbert went on to be the only party member who survived the entire dungeon, and has become a recurring figure in our group's games. To this day she has been saved in a similar dramatic fashion in each game she's appeared in.
Adens 5th Jun 2014, 9:47 AM edit delete reply
Sorry, I just remembered a story one of my friends had when he was DMing a campaign. They had just started a new campaign, all level ones, when they met the big bad for the first time, a dragon out to destroy all of humanity (surprise surprise). It landed in the town they were in and began to lay waste, when the barbarian tried to grapple it. Three nat 20's, and the DM rolled three nat 1's in an attempt to counter. So the level one human barbarian managed to pin and incapacitate the giant dragon by grabbing onto his head. My friend had to re-think the campaign for a bit after that.
Venellian 5th Jun 2014, 9:58 AM edit delete reply
I just remembered one!

The bard wanted to invent dubstep (yes, that same bard) so I told him that be could try, but he would have to roll a 100 on a d100 in order to do it... and he did.
That isn't even the best part, however, as the barkeep was evil (and a homophobe, not letting two male party members share a room), so after those two PCs were knocked out, the bard rallied the tavern's public (about 20 people) into attacking. All but one of them went for melee, while one woman simply picked up her mug of ale and chucked it (into melee) at the barkeep.
Nat 20. Confirmed crit.
She knocked out the guy, making her more useful than any of the PCs so far. Yes, she was recruited.
Sasquatch 5th Jun 2014, 10:06 AM Nat 20on a surfing check edit delete reply
While I a a DM, I was running an adventure in a wizards tower. On the bottom of the stairs on the first floor was a self resetting fireball trap (watch that first step). My players jump over it leaving it on (as they thought, rightfully so, that it would make a great alarm). 4 floors up a maiden (a hag) is rescued and an injured player offers to escort her down to the bottom of the stairs and out the door. Hag triggers the trap and escapes. Hearing the boom the cleric asks his god how bad it is. Answer your party member will die next turn. In order to get to the bottom of the stairs he declared he was going to surf his Shield all the way to the bottom. One nat 20 surf check and nat 19 on concentration check equals saving the injured player
Randomperson 5th Jun 2014, 10:12 AM edit delete reply
First campaign I played in, we were about to facedown a necromancer boss in the middle of sending a pile of souls to Orcus. He was so busy with his ritual, he didn't see us surrounding him. Surprise round, our ranger rolls a 20 to shoot him. Shot knocks him down. He tumbles to ground at the paladin's feet. Another nat 20, and the palli has a new trophy.
guy 5th Jun 2014, 10:19 AM edit delete reply
Oh! Oh! I made a room full of zombies explode on a nat twenty to turn once. And on the other side - same campaign - the DM rolled a twenty on a polymorph and turned me into a newt - though I have told that story.
The best one I can think of, however, is from my days at encounters. I was playing a dragon born warlock, and even though I really don't role-play, I had an insanely high intimidate skill because I like min-maxing.
Anyway, we were in some skirmish, and we had just managed to beat the enemy commander largely thanks to our DM not understanding how the stealth rules worked.
Despite this victory, however, it was a forgone conclusion that the minions would kill us, because no-one at encounters ever played a healer . . . or a defender . . . or a controller.
This is when I do perhaps what is the only roleplaying I have or ever shall do, and I tell the DM that I am going to try intimidate.
This was a serious last ditch tactical move, considering that we were obviously beat up and the minions were out for revenge, so even with my bonuses, things did not look great.
I think today's story time topic explains what happened next, and suffice it to say, we got away with our lives . . . if only just.
Frerichs0 5th Jun 2014, 10:36 AM edit delete reply
Well let's see I wouldn't call it perfectly timed but, one of the times I was playing as my Monk the group I was with was trying to get inside of a locked room and our rouge was having no luck so I rolled to 'knock' on the door Nat 20 door exploded. Guy on the other side was pissed at us and was going to call the guards when I tolled him I just knocked rolled a bluff check and another natural 20(good thing too cause I had like a -2 on bluff).
Silka 5th Jun 2014, 10:49 AM Rifts: The Seven Sins of Karl Prosek edit delete reply
My story happened a few months ago. We were wrapping up a short campaign (title in the title of my comment), and our GM had planned out this encounter to the letter: we were fighting a vampire lord, who just happened to be one half of Emperor Karl Prosek, ruler of the Coalition, and representative of the sin of Greed. I'll spare you guys the background on the campaign; our group consisted of a CyberKnight, a rottweiler Kill Hound, a Rogue Scientist, a PsychoSlayer (yeah, that's a new one on me, too), an efreet with a little too much fondness for gemstones, and a speedster from the past (Heroes Unlimited) who managed to be unlucky enough to drop through a rift. Also joining us was the other half of Karl, a Psi-Slayer. Our speedster just happened to roll a lucky nat 20, and he was the one with the stakes. Needless to say, what was originally supposed to be a long, protracted combat with a great deal of complications was cut short within the first combat round.

"Nice shot, Mister Fox."
"That's PIZZA Fox." XD
Ecaroh 5th Jun 2014, 10:53 AM Perfect 20 edit delete reply
Alright. So my story is relatively recent. Anyways, we're in a game which the GM is taking inspiration from Sword Art Online for the setting. VR game, character death is permanent if you don't get rezzed in time, but no Player dies when Character Dies. Our party has a Centaur Bard, Lizardman monk, Lesser plane-touched Tiefling who's class I don't remember right now, a Cat-girl gnome beguiler, and a Draenei Death Knight. I was kind of on a WoW kick and one of our players knows 3.5 well enough that we made the class. We're level 2 For this btw.

Anyways, we follow a quest hook to save some guys sword that just disappeared from it's case with no sign of how or why. We eventually make it to an abandoned town, after a Rift opens up on the way And a MASSIVE arm comes out, before being cut off when the rift destabilizes and closes. We get to the town, and a pale lady is holding the sword above an altar with a statue to a dark god behind her chanting. I roll knowledge Religion, get a fairly high Roll. This God, This Ritual, They don't exist in the game, which is an Oh-fuck moment for the group. Next Oh fuck is after I charge the bitch and kill her, her blood splatters on the blade, and the Ritual completes enough for her dark God to come through.

A party of level 2's, we have Two Npc's, a level 3 barbarian who was a player on the same quest, and a level 2 druid. Against a God. My Character, being the closest, and slightly pissed because pale lady mentioned destroying this game, which I wanted to conquer, Decides to attack it with my flaming sword, and do nothing. He then proceed's to Finger of Death the monk.

At this point, the sword we were sent to get, originally a gold, Serrated edge longsword, had turned pitch black, and I had picked it up after we tried destroying it *unbreakable* And the altar it was on *Did nothing* to stop the ritual.

Most sane people, would run here. My character is Not sane, and is Fairly savvy. So she Takes the ritual sword and smacks the god with it. Natural 20. Only one, Only one I needed, because all I had to do was Hit this guy with this sword and we shattered his form, spreading it across the game world.

At level 2, I Almost single handedly took down a god, thanks to one well timed 20.
Raxon 5th Jun 2014, 11:20 AM edit delete reply
Oddly enough, I don't think I've ever gotten one of those. I've gotten lots of convenient nat 20s, but not any perfectly timed ones that I can recall.
ShinkuRyuuga 5th Jun 2014, 11:25 AM Perfectly timed Nat20s, you say? edit delete reply
Here's one for you guys to look on. My party was fighting the very last encounter of the campaign, against a Qlipoth, so it was a fairly big deal. Existence had already been ended, so.

Well, near the end of the fight, our second Fighter(who was basically wielding a Sword of Fuck You+5) goes in for an attack. Even at level twenty for Fighters, we still rolled for those three twenties when they happened(which was all of... three times in the whole campaign, I think). So he goes in for another crit, gets the three Nat20s, the Qlipoth goes down in a show of gore and cursing us, standard procedure.

The thing that makes this a 'holy crap we dodged a bullet' moment is this: The DM had said that TripleNat20 was our only way to win a good ending when we were done, else our epilogue would've been us lamenting our new existence outside time. Instead, we bring back existence. And get congratulated by some gods for our trouble.
Joural 5th Jun 2014, 11:50 AM edit delete reply
I think the only important thing you need to know is we just found out we were fighting vampires. Our cleric was away for the night, so I volunteered to play a temp-cleric, because as the DM repeatedly stated, we needed him today. So we found out, and we all rolled to see what we knew about vampires, and the DM ruled that my Sorcerer could roll both his applicable knowledges. Anyway, first roll flubs, second is a Natural Twenty, so the DM basically just hands me the full list of weaknesses. A bit later, I'm 'recruiting' myself(the cleric), and left the rest of the group behind so they could deal with the mechanical stuff. I rolled knowledge religion, to see how much he knew about vampires.

You know what's happening.

I rolled another goddamn Twenty.

The DM just looked at me, I looked at him, and he's like 'What, should I just GIVE you the freaking monster manual entry now?'

Fun night.
Disloyal Subject 5th Jun 2014, 2:42 PM edit delete reply
Disloyal Subject
...jeeze, did your back story wind up retroactively featuring vampires in some way? Or was it just tidbits picked up in taverns and libraries? ...yeah, I try too hard to make things coherently whole. Still, being an ex-member of a vamp thrall-cult would make an interesting backstory for a sorcerer... Hmm, or a ranger. Excuse me, I've got a new questgiver to stat out!
JSchunx 5th Jun 2014, 12:13 PM edit delete reply
I've seen a few well-timed nat-20s in my time playing D&D, both from the DM's perspective and as a player.

Most recently, the party I was DMing for was assaulting a hive of Formians guarding a gateway between the material plane and the plane of Mechanus. The Formian queen, guarded by a pair of Marut Inevitables, turned out to be a very frustrating encounter for my party. Between the Maruts' spell-like abilities and the queen's spells, the battlefield was under their control. Then, our Sorcerer managed a lucky roll to dispel the wall of force between our Ranger and the queen, and on his turn he charged and rolled 2 natural 20s and a followup hit on his attack, which by our rules is an instant kill, a brutal decapitation via longsword.

Much earlier, same campaign, we had another member in our group, a human rogue/wizard specializing in dual-hand crossbow combat. He went scouting into a cave alone and came upon two gnolls sitting by a campfire. He opted to snipe them and loot their corpses rather than inform the party, so he set to combat. His surprise round and following round had at least 4 crits, all sneak attacks, to boot. Afterwards, as he was poking through their things, he found insignias indicating that the gnolls belonged to his organization, which was known to accept monstrous beings, as long as they were useful. (This wasn't a spontaneous decision on my part, these were meant to be their guides.)

And finally, there was the time I, as a first level wizard, went up against a gray render. I summoned a celestial badger and commanded him to attack. His attack? Nat 20, Nat 20, Nat 20, instant kill. He has since become a frequently referenced badger-saint in our group.
Digo 5th Jun 2014, 12:30 PM edit delete reply
d20 Modern

The team was on a cargo plane leaving Brazil when we were attacked by a mercenary fighter jet. Now, this GM liked to show off his NPCs and eat the spotlight, so he told the PC flying the plane to throttle the engines up and do a loop. His plan was to untie the jeep in the cargo, and let it fall out the back ramp and hit the plane.

Standard cliche' stuff his NPCs never fail at.

I wasn't going to have it of course, so as he began untying the jeep, I shoved him out of the way and moved to the open ramp.

GM: "Fine, what are you going to do?"
Digo: "I'm going to throw a live grenade into the jet plane's intake."
GM: "I'm going to say that's a -10 penalty to even try."
Digo: *Rolls a Nat 20*

For the rest of the flight I rubbed it in his NPC's face how I saved the team twelve grande with one throw. >:)
Disloyal Subject 5th Jun 2014, 2:50 PM edit delete reply
Disloyal Subject
Heheh. Pulling off spectacular stunts like that is the best time for 20s, is it not?
Do the impossible, see the invisible! (Row, row, fight da powah!) Touch the untouchable, break the unbreakable! (Row, row, fight da powah!)
kriss1989 6th Jun 2014, 5:56 PM edit delete reply
Make the DMs cry, Drink in those tears! (Row row, Eisenhower)
StormCroe 5th Jun 2014, 12:44 PM 1's and 20's and 1's again! edit delete reply
On the topic of perfectly timed natural rolls. My most recent party had started an adventure in a Celestial Town called Goku; After arriving back in town from a day of hunting, we found most of the city on fire. We used the Barbarians followers, (Courtesy of a nat 20 intimidate check after our illusionist rolled a 1 trying to disguise himself as a bounty)to find the source of the trouble. We found out that a son of the big evil had taken over the city (admittedly it took him to assault women's rights before we attacked; and it wasn't the girl who got the first swing) After realizing that our attacks just weren't hitting we decided to do the unthinkable, we prayed to the statue of Goku out side; all if us. Together we rolled 2 20s, a 15 and a 1. Good news is that the statue came to life and struck at the bad guy taking away half his HP, Bad news the palace was on fire and if we didn't get out we would be burnt alive. As the bad guy was just now getting his turn, he swung his sword at us, using his innate powers and the DM just so happens to roll a 1. Using this as an excuse to make this a more even playing field he gets me to roll 2d20 (the swords damage) to be applied by a ricocheting sword. To put it bluntly I rolled 2 20s.
Yeah that had some really f***ed up dice rolls.
The-Hittite 5th Jun 2014, 1:41 PM edit delete reply
I don't have any myself. (Still haven't found a local group that can work around my work schedule.) So I'll just drop a link to the story of the Nightstake.
BinaryToast 5th Jun 2014, 3:47 PM edit delete reply
No nat 20 stories come to mind, but I do have a nat 1 double feature, regarding the same character, during the same session.

I was playing the party cleric, we were level one or two, so healing was at a premium. So being the healer, I was called up to stop a dwarf from bleeding out, so we could interrogate him later.

The nat one that followed led to the recurring joke of remembering to take my gauntlets off before performing first aid.

Some time later, I had to make a second healing check, this time on a party member. It was something relating to a poison, I think, and how it would effect them. Out of character, we knew it was fairly harmless. In character...

We all kinda stared at the 1 for a moment, before I turned to her and said: "It's terminal."
Coffeeincluded 5th Jun 2014, 8:02 PM edit delete reply
Ooh, this is a good one just a couple sessions ago from the game I'm DMing right now!

The party (all level 5, including a young wyvern) was being chased out of the forest by a black dragon and two of his will-o-wisp cronies. All but one character failed their frightful presence save, so everybody was freaking out and screaming and riding for their lives in the back of a rickety car dragged through a swamp by two panicked horses. They were bogged down by muck and marsh as the dragon flew above them, taking potshots with his acid breath while closing in on the cart. Meanwhile, the party tries throwing tanglefoot bags, rays of exhaustion, and everything possible to speed themselves up and slow the dragon down. But it doesn't work fast enough, and soon the dragon has reached the cart. He slams down on the cart with one arm and slashes at the ranger (the only one who made the save against panicking), taking off nearly half her health in one hit. In the next round he's going to dismantle the cart and then easily pick off the party members.

And then the warblade rushes forward and desperately swings his sword. Critical hit. Nearly max damage.

He doesn't kill the dragon. But he cut nearly halfway through its paw, causing the dragon to let go of the cart and cut his losses, and the party got away clean.

It was perfect.
Darkside 5th Jun 2014, 8:19 PM edit delete reply
This is great, because I just recently had one of those. My character is basically a mix of Hanataro and Crona. I was asked by my guild's second-in-command to sneak an object into another guild's barracks. When I got there, I pretended to have a letter for another member of the party who happened to be a member of that guild. After the gate guard let me through without trouble, the guild leader found me and I had to give him the same “I have a letter to deliver” speech. He then decided to lead me to the party member's room (because he wasn't home), and I was forced to Sleight of Hand the device I was sneaking into a hiding spot with no ranks in that skill.

Fortunately, I rolled a twenty, giving me a twenty-two. When we reached the room, I had to pretend to lose the letter I never had in the first place, so acted out my character's panic, including sticking my head down my shirt. I was amazed that I never had to perform a Bluff check for that sequence, especially since I neither had ranks in Bluff nor a Charisma bonus.
Summoned Singer 5th Jun 2014, 8:58 PM edit delete reply
Summoned Singer
That would be two in one camp, I just passed my death saving throw, and one of my teammates hands me a javelin to hurt the necrotic necromancer troll, nat20#1. The javelin pierces his brain and he goes boom. Mere moments later, I'm stuck in the grasp of a magical statue, about to choke to death. The (yay) song weaver goes to smash the arm with her synthesizer, and for her, hopefully my windpipe along with it, nat20#2. She smashes the arm, and I take no damage thankfully, pissing her and her player off to no end.
SumVerendus 5th Jun 2014, 10:57 PM edit delete reply
As the DM, I once got a triple-20 instant kill on a paladin. The monster killing him wasn't even that strong, only a medium earth elemental. Just before this, a fire elemental also scored a crit, burning a hole in the paladin's chest and nearly killing him, so we decided that the earth elemental compressed itself into the hole and then tore his body in half.
Jadelynn 6th Jun 2014, 12:55 AM edit delete reply
I was playing a minotaur cleric (which is surprisingly OP in 4e btw) and got the mother of all perfectly timed nat 20's in a fight with the big bad that was 15 levels higher than I was.

So we were all at the end of a dungeon where the Big Bad of the campaign was standing there, beyond a gorge. My character being who he was, he got pissed and tried to jump the distance. Everyone facepalmed and expected me to have to roll up a new character, but I barely made the gap and stood there . . . alone with the mildly impressed big bad.

Now, as much as I don't normally do, I went OOC for one moment, and had my character move to another point so I could do something . . . I planned to bull rush him. The guy didn't do a single thing, since his defenses were so high that it'd take a nat 20 to do anything against him. Well, guess what happened?

Cue the GM flipping his shit over a long campaign destroyed halfway through by a rogue nat 20.
CCC 6th Jun 2014, 1:34 AM edit delete reply
Meet Big Jim, the level one barbarian. This was a Pathfinder Society game, and Big Jim was a character crafted for one thing, and one thing only; hitting as hard as possible. He had no ranks in any knowledge or perception skills, and -2 penalties to both intelligence and wisdom. He hasn't worked out pronouns yet, and so he always refers to himself in third person ("Big Jim smash!")

So the party's exploring some ancient ruins, and we find a series of images on the wall, detailing historical/religious stuff. The characters with the relevant Knowledge skills roll to try to understand what's up with each carving, and successfully make their rolls for all the carvings... except one.

So Big Jim has a go at it. Since he doesn't have the relevant Knowledge skill, he's forced to roll Perception instead; which gives him a penalty, on top of his -2 due to abysmal wisdom.

He rolls a natural 20.

So, a whole group of people who know their history fail to understand this carving, and the idiot barbarian works it out in a single glance (and then had to explain it to the more scholarly party members using small words because he doesn't know any big words).
Mort the Ghost 6th Jun 2014, 3:39 AM edit delete reply
Aright ... this is the story of how Liam Oakley, the farmer's boy, killed the king of the goblins.
We were doing a one-shot dungeon (first level), and I had rolled up a human paladin.
See, what I like about humans is that they have a nifty bonus feat. Most people assume the human bonus feat is just there to meet prerequisites faster, but there's another use which I like better: giving them a feat which is mostly unrelated to their main feat tree.
I took Exotic Weapon Proficiency (spiked chain).
So, during endgame, we reach the lair of the goblin king. He steps out, swinging his greatsword, and challenges our party to send forth a member for single combat. Since I'm the tank, I step forward.
I win initiative, and move so that there's a one-square gap between me and the king. This is important, since spiked chains can be used ten feet away or against an adjacent foe.
Since spiked chains give a bonus to disarm attempts, I try to disarm the goblin king. Nat 1.
It's the goblin king's turn. He moves to close with me, thus triggering an AOO since he moved out of a space I threatened. I roll for the AOO: another nat 1.
My turn again. I cease trying to disarm him and go for the attack. My fellow party members are joking about how bad it would be if I got another nat 1.
I'm sure you can guess what happened next:
Natural. Flipping. Twenty.
I roll to confirm: 14 + 3 Str + 1 BAB = 18, which hits.
I roll for damage: 2d4 comes out to ... 8. 8*2+3=19 damage.
The DM ruled that I was able to strike my chain deep into his chest and pull out the goblin king's heart.
And that is how a simple farmer's boy killed a king.
Yetagain the Archlich 6th Jun 2014, 4:13 AM perfectly timed 20's you say? edit delete reply
Okay, so, this one actually isn't mine because I hadn't joined the campaign yet but it was still perfect for this situation so a-sharing I will go!
so, to cover a lot of storyline I've forgotten, the party was in some old ruins and found an ancient artifact, what turned out to be an orb that could find and open pretty much any door. The warlock of the group got the orb in her hands first and when the cleric insisted on getting the orb away from her because she had a history of... not being the most moral of the group and generally causing mischief (including burning said cleric's *clears throat* lower hair off)she made a bluff check handing him a normal, non-magical orb and telling him it was the one they had gotten while stashing the real one in her cleavage.
Now,clerics tend to have a high insight and this cleric had not only trained in it but had some micellaneous boosts if I remember correctly.
The warlock, while she had a high cha, was not trained in bluff so she had almost no chance of succeding. This is where the nat 20 takes place, resulting in the cleric having a useless orb as his quest item and the warlock having breasts so magnificent they open secret doors when jiggled.
Sureen Ink 6th Jun 2014, 4:22 AM edit delete reply
So, I'm the DM for my campaign, right? I've got the players going through a fear trap. They have to roll to not be scared. A failure means they drop to their knees and start screaming bloody murder, meeting or beating the DC within a few means they save, but have to keep rolling saves each round, and beating it by a lot means they're unaffected by it. So, what happens? A human paladin, a harpy monk, an elf cleric/mage, a human rogue, and a kobold barbarian walk into the fear trap. Rolls go out: Everyone rolls low...except the stupid Kobold. Natural 20 from the Barbarian. The rest of the group is cowering or screaming. The little kobold is strutting right through the trap going "What? There's a magic effect here?"
Dilaculo 6th Jun 2014, 4:51 AM edit delete reply
Two stories from my group's play through of Kingmaker. Also deviant from the actual AP, in some places... But!

There's one point where we're fighting a giant, fey-touched dragon that had itself and it's giant ivory tower dropped in from the First World (PF's Faewild, essentially). The barbarian, in his way, has jump onto the dragon. They're using the back-and-forth of CMB-vs-CMD to represent his ability to hold on and the dragon trying to toss him off. Then:

"I want to try and cut a wing off."
"Roll for it."
"Natural 20!"
"Nice!" And then the GM reaches out to draw from his Crit Deck... and just drops the card.

The Barbarian got the 'Dewinged' result. There was much joyous laughter from him. especially as he rode an ancient dragon's plummeting body to the ground.

The second story is later on. We're working our way through a First World swamp, tracking down an enemy... and then a worm that walks steps out, confronting the party. It isn't the first time we've met it, either. And it leads with a quickened Disintegrate at my Cleric, who made things difficult for him in the past. Natural 20, failed saved... POOF.

(Spells have a crit modifier of x2, by the way, if they have an attack roll. Disintegrate deals 10xCL damage... Yeah.)

... Of course, then our wizard went "Oh, he probably only has one of those ready. Quickened Disintegrate." POOF. Two piles of dust on the rocky shore.
Guest 6th Jun 2014, 7:38 AM edit delete reply
Sometimes it's awesome when the monster you're fighting needs a nat 20 to do something against you. Recent game we were in a maze. Point was to avoid the challenges, as they were way too above us(One was a 5 headed dragon(Not hydra), that had a mile long breath weapon that did 40d6...We're level 7). So yeah, avoiding stuff! It went well, until we were about to escape, and ran into a Steel Golem, a cr 17 challenge for us. While we were waiting for one party member to get back to the group with the item to help us escape, the dm planned for it to whomp on us, while we try to avoid it, or cc. Well, I certainly cced it. The thing was beefy in most defense and offensive way. Except for it's reflex saves, which as a +1. So...Grease. With a few feats and a buff(I'm playing a Summoner), the save was..21. So we stood there and watched it get up, fall, get up, fall, get up, fall. Until that party member returned, and we boot-scooted out of that maze! Got to love Netherese Cities...

So yeah, cr 17, beaten by a level 1 spell. Go me!
Knayt 6th Jun 2014, 11:04 AM edit delete reply
This was in Fudge, so it wasn't a natural 20 - +3 is the best that can be had with 3 dice (by houserule), but the odds work out to 1/27.

I was GMing a ModBots campaign, and the protagonist robots - the first true AI, on the run from being used as tools - were holed up in a weapons factory, with incoming personnel and non AI fighting robots coming down their neck. Fortunately, they had a bunch of parts in front of them, some welding and magnetic equipment, and very fast cybernetic brains, as they had holed up in the research division.

So the three of them all roll, to see how well they do at construction. The first rolls a +3. The second, a +3. The third, a +3. I roll, to see what the opposition gets regarding getting there quickly. -3, also a 1/27 chance, the worst possible roll. They show up, and find themselves facing down the barrel of the brand new Ares Bomber. Two rounds later they're dead, the hallway is one long scorch mark, and the now heavily armed party is on the run, with the big explosives being rolled out to deal with them.
NellzDaBlackKing 6th Jun 2014, 11:25 AM edit delete reply
A recent nat 20 story for me is with my Dread Necromancer Night Elf. I have a common habit to perform poorly during battles with m character and his summonings, so majority of the time I barely hit my opponents. However, our party entered a catacombs within a city, so it's like the perfect environment for my character. While we was in there, each battle we encountered, I rolled about 3 or 4 20s for each battle, making a total about 21 to 28 20s in one session. The dice gods were with completely that night and felt like they owed me for my previous failed attempts.
zorro362 6th Jun 2014, 12:02 PM best npc ever edit delete reply
Firstly it is the firm opinion of most of my group that any npc on your side is gonna suck, no matter their gear/stats. They will trigger traps, miss nearly every atk and well, you get the idea.

Well, once my group were in a modern era setting racing down a river in a speed boats trying to escape the bad guys. and we were being chased by group of them in another boat, as well as a sniper in a helicopter and we were geting hammered bad.
Most of us were down when, they tried to shoot the dwarf npc driving the boat, he got a nat 20 counter atk against the sniper. The DM described how the dwarf then took out a hidden rocket launcher and and blasted the sniper right between the eyes! the falling helicopter then took out the boat chasing us!
The entire group unanimusly voted the dwarf BEST NPC EVER!! and he continued to live up to that title throughout the rest of the campgain, preforming many awsome feats.
zorro362 6th Jun 2014, 12:18 PM edit delete reply
sry meant to write its the experiance not opinion of my group about npc's but when i saw the error, it would not let me edit for some reason
Waffles Everywhere 6th Jun 2014, 5:17 PM edit delete reply
In a campaign that i'm currently a part of, I, as the combat ready bard named Rurick, got drunk in a tavern and was sent off to prison with the death penalty. This was the loose backstory I had for when the campaign began, as we started in a prison.

After our first session of escaping the prison, we encountered a halfling "rogue" that attempted to take our stuff (it was a player with a delayed introduction). We took him prisoner, but after some smooth talk from the halfling, we decided to let him in on a secret of ancient, powerful artifacts that we had discovered during our escape. The halfling will be referred to forevermore as Midge-Midge, as that is the nickname that we had forcibly given his character.

After sorting things out with Midge-Midge, we continued to where we believed one of these powerful artifacts to be, when we came across a tavern. Having recently escaped from prison, we were low on food, and decided to stock up there. However, this was the tavern that caused Rurick to be thrown into prison. The tavern keeper alerted this to some guard subtly. However, Midge-Midge overheard the transaction of words and stepped in.

"Sir, I happened to overhear and I'd like to point out that that isn't Rurick, but rather his twin brother... midge-midge."

Critical Bluff.

The guard calls the bartender a fairy, and pushes the bartender away. After we left the tavern, our DM couldn't help but be frustrated at the circumstances.
kriss1989 6th Jun 2014, 5:54 PM edit delete reply
*badly wounded black dragon escaping underwater*
*already swimming barbarian charges*
*nat 20*
And that's how Lux came to have a dragon skull as a trophy she carries with her.
Squish 6th Jun 2014, 6:02 PM edit delete reply
I was running a D&D campaign for my brother's bachelor party (yes, we're nerds). My bro was a druid with a badger companion, if memory serves. Might have been a wolverine we just called a badger. Anyways, they're on the big bad, and it's going about as well as can be expected (not well). Time's running out before the ritual is complete. Bro sics the badger on the bad guy.
Natural 20 on claw one, natural 20 on claw two, and like 16 on the bite. Crits confirmed. On a spur of the moment, I describe it as follows:
"Your badger tore him open, burrowed inside and came up out the guy's neck."
The party stops for about 20 minutes as we each propose various descriptions of the scene. Chest burster. One suggested hime keeping the neck intact and just boking his head out though the mouth. Then I beleive I was the one who suggested that he burst out like a cartoon character popping out of the logo, striking a pose. I then demonstrated, adding the sound effect of 'Meh!'. It's been like six months and I can still make him laugh with just the one sound.
mistriousfrog 6th Jun 2014, 6:24 PM Constant 20s edit delete reply
This happens in general for my group that I GM. In general their rolling kind of sucks, about one in four rolls is above 10 while I tend to roll fairly normal on the bell curve so they usually struggle with most normal combats. We have had quite a few deaths in the party from creatures weaker than the party, put it that way.

That is until they meet an enemy I designate a boss character. I have learned never to tell my party that 'this' character is a boss because of the results. The last 7 boss characters they have fought there has been no less than several natural 20s and at least 2 critical hits against them. Especially the ranger.

The latest example had level 5 party against a single 15 shadowdancer (I know, the odds are stacked unfairly but I gave them a level 9 psion specializing in compulsion and mind affecting to back them up and shadowdancers suck at will save.). Pretty much first turn, the cleric does chain hold person. All the enemies fail and are paralyzed, cue a coup de grace on the mooks leaving only the shadowdancer. The monk runs in critical hit and stunning fist though he passes the fort save. The paladin runs in, swing... and a miss... Now the ranger pops up, he is notoriously famous for rolling critical misses and hitting his teammates whenever he fires into a melee like this so we are all groaning. dice comes up... 20. successful threat roll and we have a critical hit. again. most of the guy;s health is gone already. But he has rapid shot so he gets another attack. Another 20, another successful threat roll. At this point even on minimum damage the guy dies so I just wrap my hand on the table and say "You know what, you describe how he dies, you deserve it".

One shot through each eye that pinned him against a wall of his own house. Nasty way to go, and the reason I don't point out boss characters anymore.
Hawkflight 6th Jun 2014, 6:31 PM edit delete reply
I've had a couple of these, but my favorite was during a solo game. I was a Ratfolk Gunslinger in Pathfinder, and my character's family had just settled down after splitting off from their own warren to found a new one. We'd had our fair share of challenges, including constantly being harassed by wargs. Wargs are sapient in this universe, and even have their own goddess.

So, a couple weeks after we'd settled down, I was returning from the market. As I crest the hill, I see a pack of wargs attacking my family. I yell out, and one of them, the leader, turns to face me. I fire a couple of shots and miss, having to reload, but the warg tackles me and pins me down, making it difficult. But finally, battered and bleeding and down to the last of my HP, I manage to reload my guns. I point my guns at the warg leader and say, "When you see your goddess, tell her to LEAVE US THE **** ALONE!"

Roll to hit, nat 20. I blast the leader with enough force to not only kill it, but send it flying, a shocked look on its face. The other wargs see this and rout, running with their tails between their legs.
Malroth 6th Jun 2014, 10:08 PM edit delete reply
Note to Rainbow Dash, Take a second look at that "insight" skill and then max it out and attempt to use it on everything and everyone, It fits in perfectly for a Paranoid Antisocial chaotic combat monster who doesn't trust anyone.
Locue 7th Jun 2014, 12:14 PM edit delete reply
My best nat 20 story is when we were invading a goblin cave, and we figured out that there was a goblin behind a wall of boxes.

My Fighter was all like "I jump over the boxes!" And then I rolled a 4. He crashed right into the boxes and they went flying everywhere. The GM decided to roll to see if they hit the goblin, and the box got a nat 20.

Things got a little crazy from there.

There were explosions, box fragments, Marisa from Touhou, more explosions, and when the smoke cleared, the goblin was dead and I had a strange red tablet with a P on it.

The rest of the crawl was remarkably normal compared to that.
The Bushranger 8th Jun 2014, 2:59 AM edit delete reply
So, Natural 20 stories? I've got one...

The tale (D&D 3.5) was that our characters had been sucked from our own worlds into a different one, and we were all trying to get home as well as getting on in the world we found ourselves in. My character, a half-drow Duskblade, was quite delighted to find that the party Warforged was from the same world as she, and hoped that they could work together to up the chances of making their way home.

Then a party of bandits decided the Warforged, being a construct, would make a nice thing to dismantle and sell off, and knocked him out, dragging him back to their hideout. My Duskblade pursued, only to have the bandits pretty much slam the door of their hideout in her face, having kept just ahead of her with their weighty prize.

This, it turned out, was a bad move for them.

Thoroughly pissed off, she charged the door, bringing her greatsword's blade around to hammer on said door with the pommel as if it were a battering ram.


...natural 20.

The door basically exploded off its hinges, and my half-drow now found herself among the startled, yet annoyed, bandits, with the rest of the party having lagged behind!

Well, in for a penny, in for a pound, it's time to roll Intimidate to make these jerks hold off until I get backup, right?


...natural 20.

And of course there's only one quote that was possibly appropriate to use.

"If you value your lives.../be somewhere else/."

Which the bandits did with aclarity, and the party warlock made a note to /not piss the drow off/.
Blop 16th Jan 2015, 10:52 AM edit delete reply
I remember a time we were fighting an armored thing, and it had been beating us brurally. Me, being an archer, asked the DM if I had any openings. He said there was one around the neck, but it was hard to hit. I pulled my bow, Rolled a D 20 and got a pure natural 20. It dies almost instantly.
Keybounce 12th Nov 2016, 10:25 AM Enemy nat 20's edit delete reply
Does "Perfectly timed natural 20" include when two of the three weaklings got a natural 20 against me in round 1?

The GM was kind, and only had me knocked out instead of dead.
Mikoc5 12th Oct 2022, 11:18 PM edit delete reply
I again have a story, eight years too late. This time with an account!
It's more of a comedic one, so don't expect much epicness.

SETUP: It was just me and my BF, whose character was called Alex. He was a human accidentally summoned into a fantasy world where humans never actually developped intelligence .Those native to the world were used as, essentially, two-legged pet cattle. But not him. He was betrayed by both his biological mother and his adopted would-be mother in the new universe, so naturally he wasn't exactly the most morally upstanding character we were playing. While he did end up establishing relationships eventually, he spent most of his early days weilding a scimitar and a crossbow, shedding blood on the way. He also managed to piss off the local dragon king.

Now, the dragon king (Who was large and feral but intelligent, ala Skyrim) had many, many offspring, so a large portion of the encounter table were his various bastard children, and while being half-dragon bruoght essentially zero clout, it certainly had several physical perks. One of these half-breeds heard of Alex' increasing notoriety, which earned Alex a bounty on his live capture. So, the bastard dragon (Who was basically an expy of the imprisoned dragon king from Heroes of The Storm - two legs, two arms, wings on back, firey breath, two giant axes, and a whole bunch of armour) confronted Alex.

But Alex was savvy. He had a crossbow, and he kept it loaded. Unafraid of the bastard dragon, who probably COULD wipe the floor with our anti-hero with his double great axes, Alex pulled out his crossbow and fired.
The dice: 20
...well, hard to argue against that, the GM in me thought. So, the crossbow bolt went straight through the dragon's eye, and lodged itself in his brain, killing him in an instant. Thanks to a lucky roll, the climactic battle was over in a single stroke.

And now, you'd think this is all, but it got better: A few in-universe days later, there was a tournament, with a tryouts phase! Me, having no ideas, I simply decided to resurrect the bastard dragon (hooray for necromancy) and gave him a few minor upgrades to, essentially, see if Alex can handle him properly this time. Alex took a few upgrades in the meantime, including enchantments to his crossbow and to his melee weapons, so it should be a fairly easy fight for him. I thought I could use the dragon as a yardstick, what with him being a beef gate to keep the rabble out of the tournament. Nothing a few more reanimations can't fix.
What I didn't expect was R. N. Jesus having a sense of humor. Because, as you can probably guess by now, when Alex pulled out his crossbow and fired a shot at the dragon, the dice have once again decided everything for us.

Parry roll on the dragon: 1

The two of us stared at the result for a couple seconds, before we burst out laughing. There we were again, in that exact same situation, with the crossbow bolt once again ending the life of the same bastard dragon. The bolt, enchanted with armor piercing, tore to the other side of the Bastard's skull, causing him to flop dead. Naturally, he was resurrected again to serve as a beef gate for the NEXT contestant, but not without being far less intimidating with a missing chunk of his head.