Page 510 - The Zebra Storyteller

30th Oct 2014, 6:00 AM in Luna Eclipsed
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The Zebra Storyteller
Average Rating: 5 (3 votes)
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Author Notes:

Newbiespud 30th Oct 2014, 6:00 AM edit delete
NOW will you let me upload this, internet?

Well, the big day is tomorrow. Might as well consider this the official Halloween post, because the next one will be one day too late.

I don't have any big plans for the event, myself. Well, no plans to go outside. I do have a Halloween-themed gaming livestream thing I kinda want to do either tonight or tomorrow. Not sure exactly when, but then again I never am. We'll see how it goes.

Notice: Guest comic submissions are still open until this arc is finished! Guidelines here.



Raxon 30th Oct 2014, 6:32 AM edit delete reply
To the tune of this.

Come little fillies, come with me.
Safe and happy you will be.
Away from your homes, now let us run.
With Raxon, you'll have so much fun.

Oh, little fillies, please don't cry.
Raxon wouldn't hurt a fly.
Be free to frolic, free to play.
Come with me to my house to stay.

Oh, little fillies, please don't squirm.
Those ropes, I know, will hold you firm.
Raxon tells you this is true,
But sadly, Raxon lied to you.

Oh, little fillies, you mustn't leave.
Your families for you will grieve.
Their minds unravel at the seams,
Allowing me to haunt their dreams.

But surely, all of you must know,
That it is time for you to go.
Oh, little fillies, you weren't clever.
Now you shall stay with Rax forever.

Now, can we have a story, Grandpa? Please? Please?
Grampa Rax 30th Oct 2014, 6:33 AM edit delete reply
Grampa Rax
Oh, awright. I spose I got un fer ya. Gather roun, younguns, and Grampa Rax tell ya the story a the scariest Hallerween ya ever done seen. I saw it up in New York, where they got skyscrapers as tall as the mountains out back!

I tell ya, this is the story a six younguns on a Hallerween like eny other. There were Mike, Jane, and Linda, A good old boy, and his sisters. Joe was a little nervous boy from out a town. Louis and David were the oldest and biggest, and they were the finest boys I'd seen up north! They were good cousins, strong and canny. These younguns were brought by ther papas ta a haunted house, 'cause they got a lot a bad crime up north, and they don't let ther younguns out a ther sight. That haunted house was made out a an old mansion, and the yard behind it. The younguns were sent in, excited about the promise of candy. All em younguns were excited cept fer Joe, who needed pushin.

They went in, an everthin was fine. It was dark and there weren't much there. There was old house noises, ya kin figure it. It was nothin they hain't seen afore. The younguns found a door with a metal bar across it and a sign sayin dontcha come in here, younguns! That boy Mike laughed and said he weren't yeller. The other younguns tried ta stop em, but he slid that bar aside, and opened the door.

There, behind the door, was the scariest monster ya ever seen! I tell ya, it was big as a horse, and it had a wolf's head an body! It had a snake body down below, and two awful claws on either side. As soon as the door was opened, they heard it a snarlin and growlin. The monster turned its big ol head and looked directly at em, it didn't have no eyes! Its growlin stopped, and everthin was quiet. Then they heard a whisper. "I'll eat y'all, I will."

That old beast started ta claw at the ground, and went right fer em! They ran fer it, toward the exit. It was a real close un, but they made it ta the back door of the old mansion, and shut the door. They almos got caught! Through the door winders, they could see the monster hittin at the door and the door jumpin from the monster's beatin. They breathed easier, and started ta walkin fast through the corny graveyard tents, with the fake headstones.

Now, those tents were a maze, and the younguns got a bit lost. Near the end o the maze, they heard a shout. They looked back, and lo and behold, there were a hand reachin out of a grave and grabbin Joe by the ankle. He yelled and pulled, but it yanked his foot out from under em, and started ta drag em into the dirt. Joe screamed fer em ta help em, but it was too late. The grave done swallered em right up. An arm reached out o another grave, and they ran fer it, reachin the end as fast as they could, sceered yeller!

Ther folks were waitin there fer em. My grandson was there, too. He was runnin the haunted house, an gave each youngun a whole bag o candy. They saw Joe's mom weren't there. Louis spoke up "Where's Joe's ma?" Raxon jes cocked his head, all puzzled like. "Who? I don't know a Joe." The younguns were real sceered now. They yelled, "The boy that was with us!" He waved em off, and jes said, "Naw, it was jes ya five ta enter. Run along now, younguns. We got another group ta go through."

As they left, they saw Joe with another group of younguns, gettin ready ta enter the haunted house.

There ya go, didja like at story?
Mykin 30th Oct 2014, 7:35 AM edit delete reply
Yea, the little song above was good (now you better let them go before the SWAT team outside break in here. Diplomatic immunity only goes so far, ya know) and the story was pretty good. I don't see too many creepy stories like that now days. Especially now, with everyone trying to humanize all the monsters and turning them into good guys and crap like that. Makes life as a professional monster hunter all that more annoying.

Though, actually that monster in the haunted house sounded awfully familiar. Kinda similar to one I had locked away years ago...Meh, probably just a coincidence.
Super_Big_Mac 30th Oct 2014, 12:43 PM edit delete reply
Have you ever read EGS (El Goonish Shive)? Its latest arc in the story revolves around a Magical Gatherings card game tournament, and a few of the characters trying to discreetly find out if others are aliens or magic-users.

Relevance: One character, Sarah, wants to make her deck not only themed, but have a story. The story is of a group of vampires being reformed by werewolves, and it's funny in an odd way to me. Has no one ever seen The Littlest Vampire? They're just humans who need Very Rare meat, instead of Well Done!
Raxon 30th Oct 2014, 12:56 PM edit delete reply
I like EGS, when it's not being overly preachy.

I loved seeing Susan BSOD when she learned the true purpose of the hammers. Not so fond of the the last dozen or so strips, especially the "What if I was gay?" and the transpanic bits. I kinda like the battles and Ted.
Ted the saiyanwolf 30th Oct 2014, 2:35 PM edit delete reply
Ted the saiyanwolf
I heard my name being called
Malexia 30th Oct 2014, 3:49 PM edit delete reply
What's so wrong with the recent strips, Raxon? I like that Dan's introducing more diversity and complexity to the cast.
Raxon 30th Oct 2014, 3:59 PM edit delete reply
I don't mind that. What I mind is the whole "What if it's a gay guy pretending to be a girl to sex with us!?"

I kinda like the new characters, aside from those two idiots, but I recognize that Rich is here purely to be a bigot and be put in his place somehow. The bigotry serves no purpose to the narrative so far, and he seems like just a cheap stereotype of homophobic dumbasses.

Inserting a bigoted dumbass for no reason other than to have moral arguments that don't further the plot, and are just filler, especially boring filler, is very unappealing to me.
Disloyal Subject 30th Oct 2014, 11:16 PM Rich and Larry edit delete reply
Disloyal Subject
I actually enjoy Rich and Larry slightly more when they stick around for a few pages. When they just show up for a one-off gag, it's as annoying and jarring as their ilk butting in in person.
I don't mind them, but that may be largely because I read so many webcomics I can get my giggles elsewhere in the week.
Super_Big_Mac 31st Oct 2014, 8:56 AM edit delete reply
In my opinion, rose two are actually paying a character development role, if not a plot relevant one. Ted has grown a little, mentally speaking, thanks to the revelation they helped initiate by being idiots. They're basically playing Ships and Snails to Ted's Trixie, except to a slightly different tune.
Raxon 31st Oct 2014, 9:23 AM edit delete reply
That's an interesting take on the two. I viewed them as just another repetition of that jock who hassled Ted for "looking gay" and his friend who then said, "I apologize for my friend. I don't judge you based on your preferences".

They're basically the same attitudes and personalities, transplanted into geeks instead of jocks.

I'm not strictly opposed to a duo of idiot and bigger, yet more polite idiot. I just want them to actually serve as more than just background filler. Actually have them get called out on it, like when Rich got called out by Tensaided.

Allow me to now proclaim how much I like Tensaided. He is awesome. One of the best characters in the comic, right there with Raven. Hell yeah. Raven kicks so much ass!
Super_Big_Mac 31st Oct 2014, 4:57 PM edit delete reply
Good, good... For liking Tensaided, you have now earned +(1d10)*10 XP! Roll to see how much you receive!
Guest 31st Oct 2014, 11:14 PM edit delete reply
Well, they're established characters. They just happen to have been established for the purpose of being supporting idiots.

Besides, hasn't Dan said they're based off people he knew and kind of wishes he never knew?
Seanpony Renaud 30th Oct 2014, 9:14 AM edit delete reply
One day I'll beat Raxon! ONE DAY!!!!!!!!!

Also great song.
Malroth 30th Oct 2014, 8:00 PM edit delete reply
And on that day that you post at 6:01 AM and beat Raxon, nobody will really care because it's not the promptness of his comments that makes him popular its the insanity.
Mykin 31st Oct 2014, 5:46 AM edit delete reply
I'll wait for the day you do it, Seanpony. Got the metal picked out and everything.
Daeron 30th Oct 2014, 4:14 PM edit delete reply
And just like that I am terrified of you Raxon.

Good use of Hypno's Lullaby though.
Gegege 1st Nov 2014, 5:59 AM edit delete reply
I actually sang that song in my head to the tune of "Hush little baby"
kiapet 30th Oct 2014, 6:45 AM edit delete reply
Huh. Actually watching/reading a Halloween installment around halloween is a new experience for me.

I like how everyone is so suspicious of Zecora, and she's not even doing anything. Especially since she was an ally in the show.
Digo 30th Oct 2014, 7:53 AM edit delete reply
That seems to be the reaction most PCs have when confronting a former villain in a non-confrontational situation. They're just waiting for the hammer to drop. :)

Raxon 30th Oct 2014, 2:12 PM edit delete reply
Heh. There was something similar when Raxon... "Reformed" John Corben, aka Metallo.

He ripped Corben's mind out of his his cyborg body, transferred him to a fully human, cut off drone, and then forced him to spend centuries in Raxon's mindscape, where outside, it was only a few weeks.

Yeah, he was rehabilitated, alright. And now, John Corben instantly falls on his face and greets Raxon like a god whenever he walks into the room. But the important thing is that he's not a psychotic death machine.
Mykin 30th Oct 2014, 7:22 AM edit delete reply
I ended up wearing my tactician costume over to the game store yesterday for basically the same reason: Because the next time we play would be in November and I said I'd wear it for Halloween. That's really the only big thing I have going on and I have to work Friday morning so I don't know what I want to do for that evening. Probably just play video games or watch the nightmare night episode again for kicks and giggles.

I used to hunt zombies on Halloween, but ever since they joined the union and declared themselves their own race I've been hesitant to get involved in that legal mess. It was about as bad as when the vampires around here decided to pretend to be Edward just to get people to leave them alone so they could go back to their vegan lifestyle. I swear, what is this holiday coming to???
Disloyal Subject 30th Oct 2014, 8:58 AM No Rocket Jumps edit delete reply
Disloyal Subject
The first session of the AD&D campaign I'm joining is tomorrow, so my introduction to the group will be as the RED Soldier. Should be fun.
Super_Big_Mac 30th Oct 2014, 12:47 PM edit delete reply
I'm dressing up in a badass long (lab) coat I bought, with some pens and pencils in the breast pocket, and a pair of big ol' round-rimmed glasses. If I can find some yellow gloves and an orangish-red wig, I'll be all set!

Or I could just get some black gloves, and start laughing in an odd way. "Ahaha! Ahahahaha! Ahaha! Ahahahaha! Ahaha!"
Disloyal Subject 30th Oct 2014, 11:11 PM Paladin of Freedom? Sure, why not edit delete reply
Disloyal Subject
Why that particular color scheme? I get the feeling I'm missing an obvious reference, but I don't think Beaker wore gloves at all and I know Dr. Horrible's were white with his white coat and black post-Fall.
Super_Big_Mac 31st Oct 2014, 4:55 PM edit delete reply
I was going for an offshoot of Dexter's Lab, but even without the gloves, people thought I looked like Mandark, so I've been rolling with it.
Mykin 31st Oct 2014, 5:37 PM edit delete reply
Dang it, I totally want to see that now. I love Dexter's Lab. I feel more or less ashamed that I didn't pick up on that earlier. The laugh should of been a dead giveaway!
waffle911 7th Nov 2014, 10:04 AM edit delete reply
I thought Dexter had purple rubber golves.
Specter 30th Oct 2014, 7:24 AM edit delete reply
Lore! Lore! Lore!

I do love story, it holds a lot to be remembered. I actually can never get enough. But, there is some things that should never found.

*Due to being creepy as hell, (maybe) some language, and for the fact it's "Five Nights at Freddy's", I highly suggest clicking if you actually want to*

Hidden lore of the band, bite of '87, and the first night guard.

Down here for an alternative.

Some music (or hidden story? Your call).
Raxon 30th Oct 2014, 7:45 AM edit delete reply
I also have a doomsday song. It's called 99 red balloons. I use it for a spell incantation.

The war machine springs to life,
Opens up one eager eye.
Focusing it on the sky
As ninety nine red balloons go by.
Digo 30th Oct 2014, 7:54 AM edit delete reply
The most upbeat song about nuclear exchange ever made. :3
Malroth 30th Oct 2014, 11:01 PM edit delete reply
So thats why the bloons are a threat to the monkey city and they need to deploy dart/boomerang/sniper/ice/mortar/ninja/wizard/pirate/ace/super monkeys to stop them.
woohooligan 30th Oct 2014, 7:46 AM edit delete reply
Love the art in panel 2!

And especially, "fortunately no one hears your question over the special effects". :D
Digo 30th Oct 2014, 7:55 AM edit delete reply
My favorite part is in Panel 10, about how NMM might not know what an astronaut is, and then the sudden realization of the irony there. XD
Specter 30th Oct 2014, 8:49 AM edit delete reply
... *Busts into laughter*

Wow, how I did not see that is beyond me. You my friend made my day. Thank you.
Mykin 30th Oct 2014, 9:18 AM edit delete reply
Yea that was the best part really. That realization actually puts a new spin on how Nightmare Moon really escape the moon. Would make for an interesting movie actually. Pony astronauts land on the moon and are silently stalked by an evil presence as they explore around and plant the Equestria flag on the ground before leaving to go back home...only to find that they have an extra passenger waiting for them on their spacecraft. Dun dun dun!
Midikins 30th Oct 2014, 9:59 AM edit delete reply
So ponified Apollo 18/Alien?
Mykin 30th Oct 2014, 9:59 AM edit delete reply
Pretty much.
Zuche 30th Oct 2014, 6:22 PM edit delete reply
Thanks, Digo. Nice to see the point made.
Philadelphus 30th Oct 2014, 10:36 AM edit delete reply
Well, Pinkie's technically no more wrong to say "like a flamingo," considering ostriches don't actually do that either. It's too bad, really; it makes such a great picture (mental or actual).
Raxon 30th Oct 2014, 11:05 AM edit delete reply
You mean you don't tranq ostriches and bury their heads in the sand for fun?
Grant 30th Oct 2014, 11:15 AM edit delete reply
What a rude and insensitive question! I do it for profit!
Mykin 30th Oct 2014, 1:37 PM edit delete reply
Wait, THAT'S why you bought all 500,000 gallons of elephant tranquilizers from me?! Dang, Raxon, how many ostriches have you done this to?!?!
Raxon 30th Oct 2014, 4:03 PM edit delete reply
Just a couple. The rest of it, I used for kideos! See, it's like a rodeo, but with small children, but you have to catch the kids first, which means tranqs for them, their parents, and the bystanders.

Afterward, the local homeless shelters get a huge boost to their food stocks. It's good for the economy.
Mykin 30th Oct 2014, 9:10 PM edit delete reply
...Yes officer, his name is Raxon. R. A. X. O. N. And I suggest sending a team that has experience with facing Lovecraftian beings of unknowable power...along with using some tactical nukes first. Yes, the account should be the same and I agree to never mention this to any of the newspapers near me. Thank you and good luck. You will need it. *Click*

@Philadelphus: I actually went to look up where the whole "stick their heads into the ground" came from and I found something. Fun fact: Ostriches do dig holes in the ground to make nests for their eggs (more or less around 7 feet wide and 2 or 3 feet deep.) While incubating, they stick their heads into their nests to rotate their eggs, thus giving the illusion that they are burying their heads into the ground. The more you know.
Specter 30th Oct 2014, 11:19 PM edit delete reply
... *Pulls ear plug from phone tap, dials encrypted number*

Hello. Yes, I have s story for you, but I must ask, are you global?

*Sends info*

Yes, that's right please send the money to that account. *Turns off phone, tosses it* Good luck Raxon, I hope the money helps.

*Pulls up hood, walks into dark street, shape shifts*
Mykin 31st Oct 2014, 5:52 AM edit delete reply
*Checks bank account* ...Why do I have two deposits in my account?...*Checks news*...Oh...*Shrug* Ok then. *Goes back to looking up more info on Ostriches*
Digo 30th Oct 2014, 11:17 AM edit delete reply
I blame all my childhood wrong impressions of animals on the Loony Tunes.
DanielLC 30th Oct 2014, 5:51 PM edit delete reply
I was expecting Pinkie to point out that ostriches don't really do that, as if that explained why she said it's like a flamingo.
Grant 30th Oct 2014, 11:18 AM edit delete reply
You know, I recall Rainbow Dash being suspicious of Twilight because she knew Nightmare Moon's name.

I know, the continuity and facts of the story can shift a bit and you're going to have little bits that don't quite match, but Nightmare Moon is a bit odd.
Disloyal Subject 30th Oct 2014, 10:17 PM The Most Wonderful Drink in the World HOORAY edit delete reply
Disloyal Subject
I believe it was for recognizing her, not just knowing the name.
Heh, autocorrect thought I was saying Dash was suspicious of Twilight for recognizing beer.
Specter 31st Oct 2014, 8:07 AM edit delete reply
Happy Halloween / Nightmare Night / Holidays everyone.
Mykin 31st Oct 2014, 2:33 PM edit delete reply
Same goes for you too Specter! Happy Halloween/Nightmare Night/Whatever!
Odious Call 3rd Nov 2014, 1:29 AM edit delete reply
Odious Call
(Belatedly) Indeed! Happy Nightmare Night...
The time when darkness wraps all the world in a sweet embrace. When grim terror stalks the night and all creatures know in their hearts to flee to safety, lest they face a fate worse than death. It is in such times that my master's strength is at his greatest. When his fell touch reaches all through the multiverse, filling hearts with envy and doubt. Turning brother against brother, taking all that is fair and leaving it rotten, forcing the Light inwards upon itself closer and brighter till it is nothing but blinding and hateful. Taking the most stalwart defenders of purity and tainting their souls with spite.

One day, you will look up at the sun, brilliant and terrible in the sky. And she will only sear your flesh and bake the surface of your world.
One day, you will look up at your heros, and beg for them to save you. And they will smile down upon you and declare 'no'.
One day, you will look up from your pathetic little lives and see the world as it truly is. Beautiful, wicked and diseased. A playground where laws give power to those too weak to earn it, and take power from those with the will to use it.
One day you will see all that loves you is fickle and meaningless, all that protects you is oppressive and cruel, all that seems fair and good is fleeting and foul, like ash in your mouth.

And on that day my lord and master shall return. He shall journey through the Realms and all who hear his call shall throw off their shackles and rejoice!

He shall free you.
And he shall destroy you.

We are all of us Children of Darkness. Brothers! Sisters! Fear no judgment. No retribution. No coming oblivion. We are trapped in a web of lies and deception, but my master can offer you an escape if you will only take it! Join with him, and together we Children shall join our shadows into a greater shadow that shall grow greater still and swallow all creation. Then at last all shall be as one! All shall revel forever in an endless night! Where there is no right. No wrong. No fate or chance or sense of obligation. Where all that matters is the breadth of ones power, and their will to use it.

So prepare yourselves.
Lord Tirek approaches.
Siccarus 31st Oct 2014, 9:07 PM edit delete reply
Happy hallow... (Looks at Clock.) Dagnabit, too late.
Siccarus 31st Oct 2014, 9:08 PM edit delete reply
(Cloak is at 12 as of post.)