Page 537 - Stealing the Bait

1st Jan 2015, 5:00 AM in Luna Eclipsed
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Stealing the Bait
Average Rating: 5 (4 votes)
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Author Notes:

Newbiespud 1st Jan 2015, 5:00 AM edit delete
Ah, January 2015. Otherwise known as "that month where you're still writing 2014 on all your documents."

Ooh, I seem to be waxing cynical. You guys handle the story time down below while I get some leftover comfort food.

Notice: Guest comic submissions are open! Guidelines here. Deadline: February 20th.



Raxon 1st Jan 2015, 5:03 AM edit delete reply
Tell a story about bribes gone wrong!
CharginChuck 1st Jan 2015, 5:33 AM edit delete reply
Well, there was this one time I got pulled over, and I didn't have any cash on me, so I... ...oh wait, you mean in a game?

*AHEM* Never mind, then.
TolianTiger 1st Jan 2015, 6:31 AM edit delete reply
Actually, I'm more interested in this story. Please do go on. =P
j-eagle12212012 1st Jan 2015, 8:16 AM edit delete reply
Me too
Toric 1st Jan 2015, 6:57 AM edit delete reply
It depends on your definition of bribe. Personally, most of my experiences seem to involve the ancient tradition of White Man bargaining. Namely, the offender's idea of a bribe usually involves simply NOT TAKING certain things of the other character.

"What say you give us all your gear and we call it square?"
"Who the hell are you and why in the hell should I give you anything?"
"Just think about all your getting out of this deal. You've got teeth that can chew your food, you've got fingers to count those teeth, and you've got that warm gooey thing in your chest that goes ba-bump. I think I'm being rather generous here."
Seanpony Renaud 1st Jan 2015, 7:07 AM edit delete reply
Whom must I murder to be before Raxon?! that pony shall be slain post haste!

I've never had a bribe go bad in RP. . .well I did but in fairness it wasn't really a bribe and I knew fully well how bad that was gonna play out.

Basically I was prince who'd set loose one of twelve ancient demons who wreck the planet every few centuries. I sent my "Frenemy" to the local Necromancer Kingdom in the hopes that they would help just because the demons are bad for everybody. Well my Frenemy found out where I was sending him and came back and attempted to assassinate me for for. . .well let say it was UriahGambit. If he came back with help GREAT if he didn't come back at all well that was highly desirably because he was a twatcicle. But the bribe didn't techincally go wrong the bribe never got there.
Luna 1st Jan 2015, 7:49 AM edit delete reply
I actually have a story rather different, but that I find quite fitting somehow...

I was running a vampire Dark Ages campaign and most of my players went into the habit to try to dominate pretty much anybody in any situation. To the point where whenever they got themselves stranded at a town or village gate after those being closed, they would systematicely try to dominate their way in. until that day were every attempt failed, so they tried to bluff, to threathened, I could see them going endlessely into intricately complicated plan to try and get past the couple of guard, maybe even ending up killing the two poor sods.

Until one new player to the group decided to step up, offered the gards a few coins and get past the gates, just like that.

Sometime, the simplest things... XD
Wolfhard 1st Jan 2015, 7:54 AM edit delete reply
Well I have one from a few weks back, but the bribe didn´t went wrong in Character but busted the GMs plans for the group´s characters to meet up.
We just started a new Iron Kingdoms campaign So our GM wanted to have our characters travel to Five Fingers(Imagine Mos Eisley as a steampunk port City with on or two better neighborhoods) Now My Character, a Mage Hunter/ Mechanik was sent there o assasinate someone, so he tried to get some Information about the Target and a place to work as mechanik to cover my stay. Now because my Character wasn´t that good with bribery, he overpaid the guard he bribed for this information so much that he got escorted to the mechanics Workshop. mean while the rest of the group was caught in a turf fight and decided to stick together, while my char was safely inside fixing up a Steamjack.
Specter 1st Jan 2015, 11:55 AM edit delete reply
Jeba (Wizard): Listen, all I need you to do is kill that barbarian.

Rick (Rogue): What's in it for me?

Jeba (Wizard): I don't care! You can have my invisibility suit for all I care.

Rick (Rogue): Ok, I'll let you know when it's done.

-After the phone call-

Rick (Rogue): Hey Bruno! Jeba made a bet with me that he could kill you before you killed him!

Bruno (Barbarian): WHAT!?!

-This is how the rogue made a living-
Dr. Tim 1st Jan 2015, 3:53 PM Old Humor still the best humor edit delete reply
So this is what is meant to be Rick-rogued (rolled) in game?
Crazy Tom 1st Jan 2015, 7:35 PM edit delete reply
Crazy Tom
You are a terrible person.


Please, continue.
Digo 2nd Jan 2015, 11:03 AM edit delete reply
I totally and irrevocably wish to thank you for that pun.
Grrys 1st Jan 2015, 3:48 PM edit delete reply
Our resident whiny bitch was complaining about never getting any loot. So we gave him a new sword that we'd found not long ago while the rest of us got more money. Said sword turned out to be very important to the plot, and eventually became a Holy Avenger. Needless to say, the rest of us felt gyped by that point. But how were we supposed to know that the sword would upgrade itself at certain points in the campaign?!
Crazy Tom 1st Jan 2015, 7:49 PM edit delete reply
Crazy Tom
In my sometimes-mentioned continuous campaign, the serpentfolk rogue had gone through most of the campaign in possession of a powerful, intelligent glove artifact. This glove was also very evil, and fed on hands (literally ate them up). Throughout the campaign he and it got along pretty well, with him occasionally using its 'unleashed' mode to save his behind more than a few times (giant evil shadow monster that destroys cities... fun times).

We are getting close to the end of the game, and the party is preparing to enact a daring and clever scheme to foil the archdevil's ritual. Long story short, the ritual involves sacrificing seven astral diamonds in order to selectively open the gates of hell and unleash a devil army upon the material plane. The party has learned of this and with the help of Torag, the god of the forge, have acquired two fake astral diamonds of such high quality that they could possibly fool the archdevil.

They now need to funnel the fake diamonds to him without him realizing it, as he still needs 2 of the 7 total diamonds the ritual requires. The serpentfolk was tasked with finding a place for one that the archdevil wouldn't suspect they'd planted it. So, he went to talk to an old villain they'd encountered earlier, an old blue dragon called 'Boss'. He wanted Boss to set up a meeting for him with the Great Dragon Warlord, a wyrm so old and terrifying it had conquered the majority of the Dragon Lands in the west. He figured that trading it into the Great Warlord's hoard would be pretty safe, so he asked Boss to set it up.

Well, Boss was reluctant to do it for free, and wouldn't accept any of the bribes that the rogue was offering. As a last-ditch idea, the rogue took off his glove and held it up to the dragon, who sniffed at it and turned up his nose, not wanting such a 'vile rag' as he put it.

The glove, now enraged by the betrayal, could no longer be worn by him unless he wanted his hands eaten, so by trying to bribe the dragon he ended up losing an artifact of immense power. I'd say that's a pretty big backfire.
you know that guy 3rd Jan 2015, 2:05 AM edit delete reply
but serpents don't have hands to begin with.

Unless this was a Mythic game, and that guy was the ancestor to modern serpents! The cursed glove is the real reason today's serpents do not have hands!
Dr. Inmate 1st Jan 2015, 10:14 PM edit delete reply
I was trying to bribe a local official to overlook my rogue's smuggling operation. Nothing major, just a bit of Alcohol into a dry city.

The official apparently had a former PC character sheet.
Of a gestalt Magus Paladin.

Digo 2nd Jan 2015, 11:02 AM edit delete reply
One time a shadowrun team was paid to break into a bank and recover the contents of a safe deposit box. The team was not told what was inside by the Johnson. And they were instructed not to open it anyway. Just bring the box.

The pcs end up bumping elbows with another runner team that had been tampering with several boxes, but not the box the pcs were paid to get. The second team bribed the pcs to just take their box and leave quietly, no questions asked, no one talk about who was here tonight at the bank.

The pcs deliver their box to their Johnson, but really really really want to know what was in it. The Johnson opens the box... and the bomb went off.

The pcs learned that free bribes are never free.
Blueblade 2nd Jan 2015, 1:20 PM edit delete reply
Curse you sudden but inevitable betrayal!
Darkside 4th Jan 2015, 9:17 PM edit delete reply
I had one that actually went the opposite way: the GM _wanted_ us to get into a fight with a bunch of pirates we were trying to negotiate passage with.

We were stranded on a jungle island, and had gotten some help from the natives in finding the pirate's base so we could barter passage with them. The pirates demanded money and an artifact from the village that had helped us. We unloaded a some gold and some magic items we had picked up and had no use for, but the sticking point was that native artifact.

Not only were we supposed to be the good guys, but we still had our native guide with us.

Suddenly, I remembered a bizarre magical object we had gotten in an earlier adventure: a leaf that for all intents and purposes acted like a normal maple leaf, but looked and was as heavy as gold.

With the addition of the magic leaf, the pirates let us on board and we successfully sailed to our destination.
Toric 1st Jan 2015, 6:47 AM edit delete reply
Looks like I'm eating crow on this one...totally called it the wrong way on Tuesday.
ZReporter 1st Jan 2015, 6:55 AM edit delete reply
Bribes gone wrong... Well one time the team I was in ran into a twisted court trial set by dead of a powerful evil civilization. The two people held captive were a powerful general and a nobleman who's crimes were trying to robe the temple... but without a court appointed judge they were having to wait.

They were about to attack us until my character spoke their language and bluffed (thank goodness for knowing dead languages) at which point they then believed we were the appointed judge as they told us the prisoners crimes and the actions that lead them to this point.

The general had sacrificed his own troops to a bunch of deadly druids for power. He promised that if he freed him that his government be in their debt and reward us with a powerful weapon. For insurance to help prove that he was "telling the truth" he handed us a magic sword that had the emblem of his order and was also worth a lot of money.

The noble then noticing he was going to be sentenced for death tried to counter the offer. His crime was betraying his country and selling it out to the general... but he promised a descent share of the money he held (which was a lot considering he sold out his own country and he was already very wealthy before). His payment of faith to show his "offer" would be better was a amulet that had a favor from a powerful druid inscribed onto it. Essentially if we turned it into the druid he would repay the favor as we could pick our prize... but he would not tell us who the druid was to ensure we didn't leave him to rot.

So with two powerful items in hand our group talked about it amongst ourselves and came up with a decision. We sentenced them both to death.

Both the general and noble died as the court system gave us payment for our services and then left us alone. Sure it wasn't that great of a thing to do... but the people were not that great either.

The best bribes have no recites.
AkumaTh 1st Jan 2015, 7:26 AM edit delete reply
And this is why Dash is Chaotic Evil still.
FanOfMostEverything 1st Jan 2015, 1:02 PM edit delete reply
Chaotic, certainly.
Disloyal Subject 1st Jan 2015, 9:00 PM edit delete reply
Disloyal Subject
4e; Chaotic Evil is the only explicitly Chaotic option.
Guest 2nd Jan 2015, 11:21 PM edit delete reply
Time to update to 5e then.
Euric 1st Jan 2015, 9:05 PM edit delete reply
I think it would fit a chaotic good character better, seeing as she forsook half the payment to still do the right thing. It could be CN too.

Any way you slice it, its really more of a chaotic action than a good-evil action.
Mykin 2nd Jan 2015, 8:37 AM edit delete reply
And that's why I hate the 4E alignment system: It's too limiting if you take it seriously. Your missing whole swaths of people that don't quite fit into any of the 5 alignments presented instead of simplifying things for everyone involved, which was their goal in the first place. I've yet to meet anyone that has played 4E and not use the old alignment system instead.
Euric 2nd Jan 2015, 9:26 AM edit delete reply
Ohhh, that would make a lot of sense. RD probably just looked at the alignment chart, saw that she had to be evil to be chaotic, said 'what the heck', and just went with it.

She really seems more CN to me, I don't think she's ever done anything expressly evil.
Desparil 2nd Jan 2015, 1:01 PM edit delete reply
Chaotic Evil doesn't mean you can't have friends or other attachments. The way I see it, Dash decided that the benefit of keeping her friends happy was worth more than the other half of the bribe. Also note that being Evil doesn't mean that everything you do have to be evil. It just means that over the course of the character's lifetime, you do significantly more evil things than good things (weighted by severity). Remember that a paladin can fall without actually changing alignment, since their code is explicitly much stricter than the alignment system - they can't just be ordinary Lawful Good, they have to be Super Lawful Good.

I view the description of each alignment in the book as more of an axiomatic paragon of that alignment than a realistic depiction of a character.
you know that guy 3rd Jan 2015, 2:09 AM edit delete reply
I believe Evil means you do what is best for you without any care about other people.
Hariman 1st Jan 2015, 8:01 AM edit delete reply
And here we go back to Desecrators of the Lords' Tomb.

So, the party has to go into the Lords' Tomb in Greyhawk, to save a young woman's soul. Along the way, we encounter a drow who bribes us to leave him alone with pouches of jewels and gold.

I am the ONLY member of the party who says "I don't trust this guy!", and refuses the treasure.

When we go to leave the Lords' Tomb. Everybody else vanishes, and is teleported to the deepest levels of the Greyhawk dungeons, to slowly rot away and GO INSANE.

It took a lot of money to buy the Heal spells to restore the characters from insanity.

I didn't even have to say "I told you so!", because the rest of the party realized their mistake almost immediately.
Mykin 1st Jan 2015, 9:32 AM edit delete reply
Eh, I think I can call this one a win for me. She knows who the saboteur is, is being proactive in backstabbing him, and is playing to her strengths to the benefit of the team. Never said she had to do any of this for the right reasons (she is chaotic evil after all so I never figured she would of done anything out of the goodness of her heart) and its nice to see a chaotic evil character that isn't out to screw over the party at every opportunity. Now that she's made a nice profit from all of this, I think we can move on to the "beat the ever living snot out of the bad guy" step.
Specter 1st Jan 2015, 11:59 AM edit delete reply
*Some dupe with a hood made the mistake of paying me half upfront.*

I WISH people made that mistake with me more often, but no, it's "all or nothing". It's good to know not ALL payroll-ers are wise.

(Hey dupe, you should learn from the best? ... I got nothing.*
kriss1989 1st Jan 2015, 1:14 PM edit delete reply
Ahh I love doing that "idiot payed me half" bit when I'm playing less honorable characters, especially when doing so helps the party. Yeah it's an asshole move, but darn it I'm their asshole!
Disloyal Subject 1st Jan 2015, 9:02 PM edit delete reply
Disloyal Subject
It's especially funny when a character gets an interplanar reputation for it, and keeps pulling it off anyway - even on dragons and celestials.
Rokas 1st Jan 2015, 3:25 PM edit delete reply
I don't actually bother to bribe anyone. Usually I either intimidate them or kill them; so much more straightforward. Also the group I play with has a couple of people who play "lawful good" to the hilt because they're kinda like that in real life, so opportunities don't really come up and even if they did some in the party might be all snippy.
3B 1st Jan 2015, 5:10 PM edit delete reply
You are looking at this all wrong. Think of it as a game of "How can I convince the Lawful Good guy that breaking the law is the right thing to do?" because friends don't let friends play Lawful Good.
zimmerwald1915 1st Jan 2015, 4:13 PM edit delete reply
I recently paid off an NPC to stop selling snake oil during a plague, and to spy on her competitors for my party instead. It hasn't gone wrong yet, but I'm sure it will.
3B 1st Jan 2015, 5:06 PM Bribes are more like loans... edit delete reply
We had a Ravenloft game where there was a werewolf on the lose and the tavern/inn keeper wouldn't let anyone in after dark.

I bribed him then when we got inside and realized the place was empty so we killed him, took the money back dumped his body out back and made it look like the werewolf did it. We stayed in the inn for free for a week while we sorted out the whole werewolf thing. I swore to his daughter I would find the beast that did this and avenge him. When we killed him, I totally banged his daughter on his bed before we left.

Chaotic evil: The gift that keeps on giving.
Disloyal Subject 1st Jan 2015, 9:04 PM edit delete reply
Disloyal Subject
I'm not sure whether to applaud you or make with the smiting.
On second thought, I'm just not sure which to do first.
Digo 2nd Jan 2015, 11:12 AM edit delete reply
Standing ovation plus balefire
Euric 1st Jan 2015, 9:09 PM edit delete reply
Wow that's kind of vile, even for an RPG.
Guest 2nd Jan 2015, 10:43 PM Re: Wow that's kind of vile, even for an RPG. edit delete reply
Yeah, when people say RD is chaotic evil they obviously have no idea how to play Chaotic Evil. We had all-evil party games and let me tell you, they were some of the best times we had playing D&D. We had a mix if lawful and chaotic evils in the party so it wasn't just madness. We were all friends and we looked out for each other while trying very hard to out steal, manipulate or murder one another. We had an ongoing contest at one point to see who could come up with the most creative uses of a humanoid skull in a hobby. But you couldn't just think of the idea, you had to actually kill something, take it's skull and make a prototype model. One of our female characters made a bikini out of the skulls and bones of wood nymphs (The tiny fairy kind) and the fur of a bear.

Once we totally derailed a campaign and wasted RL in a town drinking all the booze after clearing out a zombie infestation then putting the bodies into a catapult and launching them into the air trying to impale them on the spikes at the top of the town wall. None of us knew how to use a zombiepult exactly so we smashed a lot of corpses into a lot of walls and through a lot of windows. The Towns folk got suspicious after they saw corpses flying over the wall and sent in a guard to ask us what was going on. We got paid and told them there was some group of half-elves skulking about while we were fighting zombies so they would have someone to blame all the stolen goods on instead of us. Dirty half-breeds! Hahahahahaha!
Digo 2nd Jan 2015, 11:05 AM edit delete reply
Happy New year!!

Blueblade 2nd Jan 2015, 1:09 PM edit delete reply
HAPPY NEW YEAR! Here's to more of Spud's plans going wrong in a way that makes us all laugh. Like in this comic with Rainbow Dash.
Mykin 2nd Jan 2015, 9:04 PM edit delete reply
Rather late to be doing this, don't you think guys?...Meh, whatever.