Page 547 - The Ravages of Time

24th Jan 2015, 5:00 AM in Luna Eclipsed
<<First Latest>>
The Ravages of Time
Average Rating: 5 (4 votes)
<<First Latest>>

Author Notes:

Newbiespud 24th Jan 2015, 5:00 AM edit delete
I'm sure this has happened to a few people: A player trying to do something dramatic getting tragically undermined by something simple or silly. (If this Story Time is even halfway successful, it's gonna be a rough weekend...)

Last Sunday's session of Fallout is Dragons was a blast. Action, drama, intrigue, romance - it had it all! I try to be dry when I'm dropping links for these things because I don't want to seem pushy, but I'm awfully happy with this one.
Session 35 - Ribcage: Libsyn YouTube

Notice: Guest comic submissions are still open until this arc is finished! Guidelines here.



Raxon 24th Jan 2015, 5:02 AM edit delete reply
Yes, Spud, it will be a rough weekend.

I return with full health. And a story.

To kick things off, how about I mess with your storytime just a little bit. I was recently in a game, and some conversation led me to create this little gem of a game. The party is investigating an old theater, rumored to be haunted bad things happen when people try to renovate it, tear it down, anything like that. As the party explores, they find the remains of several people, always with some kind of joke item, like a rubber chicken, or wind up teeth. Finally, they see something run around a corner.

When they confront it, they see a corpse, long, long decayed, but that's not the cause of the silliness. The silliness, and the horror, comes from what is attached to the corpse. Attached to it is a frayed, threadbare old puppet, wielding a knife, and radiating with malice. It appears to be a bear puppet, wearing a moth eaten, dirty bowtie. "Wakka wakka."

Yes, it is Fozzie from the muppets. And yeah, it will be very creepy. Also, this is essentially just a creepypasta made up using the muppets after watching a let's play of five nights at Wario's.
Icipall 24th Jan 2015, 5:40 AM edit delete reply
And then someone shouted: "Aaagh!!! It's Freddy Fazbear!!!"
Freddy Fazbear 26th Jan 2015, 12:07 PM edit delete reply
That's not me that's an imposter!
Blueblade 26th Jan 2015, 12:07 PM edit delete reply
Make sure to check pirate cove.
EricStarstorm 24th Jan 2015, 5:34 AM edit delete reply
This wasn't during a session, but when we started playing an undead campaign, our first destination was an abandoned manor. Our DM did a good job of playing it up while we went through it, and we were all pretty into it. However, once the second session had ended, we started listing off terrible ways that the DM could go about this (and the DM was in on this too), such as making the first boss Applejack.

We never finished that campaign. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that not even the DM took it seriously anymore.
Digo 24th Jan 2015, 8:01 AM edit delete reply
When I ran Expedition to Castle Ravenloft, I was trying to play Strahd as this tragic figure who was evil because the world took away all he loved, but the PCs tended to only see Exp and loot figures, so when I tried to work in a dramatic RP moment where the party found him mourning over the grave of his dead brother, the PCs just opened fired.

I mean, come on, not even a moment of silence? XD
They had two members with diplomacy skills. Didn't bother to use them to at least talk to him. Maybe find a way to defeat him other than kicking in the gate and attacking. Ah well.
Disloyal Subject 24th Jan 2015, 9:08 AM edit delete reply
Wait, so you guys were undead, or the campaign otherwise revolved around undead?
Digo 24th Jan 2015, 10:33 AM edit delete reply
The PCs weren't undead. The campaign just features a ton of undead. However, I modified it a bit because two players had played the original 1st edition of Ravenloft.

Some of my edits included a purple unicorn wizard with a teleporting spam ability, an invisible flying lobster that feeds on your CON (at the rate of 1 point per hour), and Wall Masters from the original Legend of Zelda. :D
Disloyal Subject 25th Jan 2015, 10:48 AM edit delete reply
Oooh, evil. I like.
But I was actually trying to sort out what Starstorm meant by 'undead campaign.'
you know that guy 25th Jan 2015, 10:52 PM edit delete reply
Obviously the campaign had ended, and subsequently was started up again.
DDDragoni 24th Jan 2015, 7:04 AM edit delete reply
In a Deadlands game, my GM did everything he could to play up the biggest monster of the session as a huge threat- we started to find corpses of the sessions smaller monsters- one of which had nearly killed our melee fighter in a single strike. When it finally did show up, it was as horrifying as in was made out to be- basically a 7-foot cockroach-centipede hybrid with claws and teeth that could "swim" through solid stone- and we were under ground. This being the final boss of a one-session campaign, the GM fully expected one, two, or all of us to die. Then my Huckster (basically a card Mage,) who due to the nature of the combats that had happened so far had only gotten a single ineffectual attack off, throws three playing cards at the beast, dealing ludicrous damage and causing it to explode. The GM was a little miffed.
you know that guy 25th Jan 2015, 10:56 PM edit delete reply
Fast! Furious! Flub!
Jannard 24th Jan 2015, 7:11 AM edit delete reply
Well, the paladin in the campaign I'm currently DMing is suffering from a lot of this. The player's new to this concept of "heavy ethical restraints built into the class", and was trying to play a brave idealist, but any time he said or did something even moderately knightely, one of the other party members jumped to the chance to heckle him... IN character. During the first session, it got to a point when the face of the paladin's player showed that he would rather end the session then and there and be done with it.

So far there's only been two sessions, and the paladin's player hasn't complained vocally, but just in case I've warned the hecklers to tone it down, unless they want their characters to die anticlimatic deaths.
Silvadel 24th Jan 2015, 7:35 AM edit delete reply
Nice ego deflating comment -- very Pinkie.
Toric 24th Jan 2015, 7:55 AM edit delete reply
While founding a Kingdom, we encountered a tribe of more or less friendly kobolds, and we completed a quest to help them. When we gave them the McGuffin, they celebrated by brutally slaughtering their shaman. The chieftain introduced himself and explained that he was the only god the tribe should worship.

This was moderately uncomfortable, but he was more than willing to behave in a "good" fashion and work with us. It was our first real diplomatic triumph. However he was very steadfast that we should have a similar command structure: one ABSOLUTE leader. So when our Druid began mucking things up by implying that we were a democracy instead, the kobold demanded that our leader, a sorceress, have him killed for his insolence. Fortunately we realized he couldn't speak Draconic, and so couldn't have participated in the conversation, and we pretended that part hadn't happened.
Digo 24th Jan 2015, 7:57 AM edit delete reply
I've never had many players that liked the romantic/dramatic moments, so whenever I was a player I tend to never have my neat little RP moments in those categories. I like the occasional little heart-touchy neat moment, but there's always a heckler.

Mykin 25th Jan 2015, 4:02 AM edit delete reply
Same here, Digo. At least we're in good company, eh?
Digo 25th Jan 2015, 6:53 AM edit delete reply
Yep, at least we can swap stories in that. :)
Specter 24th Jan 2015, 8:20 AM edit delete reply
The battle atop the frozen mountains was fierce. Our heroes have been relentlessly attacking the "Ice Prince" with wave after wave of arrows and spells. But the Ice Prince would have none of that, and sent a shock wave through the group, destroying all material of metal.

The battle seemed lost, and our heroes demoralized without their weapons. Just as the final blow to his arch nemesis was about to be struck, the Ice Prince-


... The Ice Prince fell over the side of the cliff with a startled scream, without knowing what sealed his fate.

Knight: "What was that?"
GM: "That would be SOMEONE (Stares at bard) dropping an item in the midst of combat for one last laugh."
Bard: "Seemed like a good idea at the time."
Barbarian: "Brilliant."

(It was a whoopee cushion startling the GM)

-This was how a campaign that I played in had ended. It was funny, don't get me wrong, but it somehow reminded me of how you can ruin a predestined fate, and make it a lot better.
Disloyal Subject 24th Jan 2015, 9:15 AM edit delete reply
...let me get this straight; when all hope was lost, your party beat the BBEG with a BANANA PEEL?
I am in awe. Bravo! Great vid too.
(This is why everyone needs a few ranks in Balance.)
Specter 24th Jan 2015, 8:42 PM edit delete reply
No, he stepped on the bard's whoopee cushion "in-game", which startled him in a random 5ft jump (role a 7 to jump in the direction of the cliff), combined with poor dice roles for balance and cliff integrity equaling the bad guy's downfall.

In terms of the banana, I remember the bard decided to have an allergy to the things (I don't know why).
Curb 24th Jan 2015, 9:11 AM edit delete reply
Ohhh, I have a story or two like this.

When we were running a Rifts campaign, and I was playing one of my favorite characters, Misery Nightshade, the rocket totting Gothic mystic spell caster, I kind of ruined a moment rather hilariously, at lest I and the party agreed, the GM at the time did not.

It was the finally, big reveal of the BBEG, a necromancer who had been disguised as the the small kingdom's senior medic. The GM loved to have his villains monolog, it was annoying but when he ran the session, we just rolled with it, until that moment. Midway through his speech about how we would never defeat him, his power was beyond measure, bla, bla bla...I rolled my D20 (we had rolled for combat initiative and I got first crack, but the GM had to get his speech in), 19, and put a rocket in his face with the cheesy line, 'You talk too much'. GM was speechless as I rolled for damage, it took a healthy chunk of the necro's health, the rest of the party who could attack did so and tore him to pieces. The GM was flabbergasted that I had stepped on his speech, but as I had Misery point out, "Hey, we are on the clock here...customer wanted this done quick and neat..." the party lost it and the GM was steamed for a few days about it, but one of the ladies was the next in GM rotation, so he never got the chance to get me back for ruining his plans for an epic undead on party battle.

BTW, it was a plasma mini missile at that...:)
ClosetBrony?! 24th Jan 2015, 9:36 AM StoryTime?! edit delete reply
My players seem to have a knack for ruining dramatic moments. One of my BBEG's minions destroyed an entire village using spheres of annihilation, and thus, the party had to rush in and take him out. They eventually get to him. The BBEG prepares to gloat in front of him and then....
"I steal his pants."
"........................Roll it."
"......You find that he's wearing nothing underneath his pants."
Then cue the nether jokes from my players. The BBEG even played along... All while he's pwning them...
"You brought a dagger to a swordfight."
"I prefer to call it my short broadsword."
Now, technically, it is illegal to steal people's pants in D&D 3.5 but meeeeh.
Digo 25th Jan 2015, 6:54 AM edit delete reply
Stealing pants seems to be something a lot of the weird players like to do. Nothing kills a moment faster than when they utter that line.
redwings1340 24th Jan 2015, 10:47 AM edit delete reply
Ooh! I have a story for this one. So, I was playing as my Twitch Plays Pokemon version of Fennel (her personality can be summed up by this comic She's a tech genius with an incredibly hyper personality, and cares about people in the moment rather than for their long term personality. She also loves talking to people and hearing stories, and often pops in to private conversations from her entralink for fun.

So, I joined the campaign late, and my Fennel was accidentally summed to the rest of the party through a teleporter mishap involving an alternate universe Fennel (or in their case, main universe Fennel) summoning her there accidentally. Now, main universe Fennel is another TPPers interpretation of Fennel, who is a mass murderer and was attacking the rest of the group with Zombies. I managed to use other Fennel's (calling her Flak from now on) teleporter to get us out of this situation, but Flak found us really quickly. I knew the teleporter I stole was tracked, so I developed a plan to get us out of Flak's tracking range. I programmed the teleporter so it would teleport all of us to a randomized location on the map, then clear its memory after the teleport. I also asked everyone to turn off all electronic devices with any sort of wifi signal or cell signal, and had the group hide deep in a forest where there would be no security cameras to view them.

I was thorough enough I thought maybe, just maybe, there was a chance of this plan succeeding. Turns out one of the party members had a tracking device on her already. My efforts almost had us explode in a nuclear bomb, and it was only from a mishap that occurred in a session that I wasn't even there for that I survived, as I escaped using the teleporter people forgot I left behind.
Guest 24th Jan 2015, 12:22 PM edit delete reply
Haven't had a run-in with that yet in my current campaign, but I do see the opposite happen: that is, an NPC tries to do something, and one of the PCs screws with them. For instance:

DM: "So the mayor gathers the town in the central square and begins speaking--".
Bard: "Wait! Before you go any farther: I cast Fumbletongue."
DM: <<gives a look>>
Rest of party: <<bursts into laughter>>

Actually, it's hard for NPCs to get a word in edgewise. It's mostly my fault.

Criminal: "Hey, you can't just barge in here! The law says--"
Bard: "The law? Don't talk to me about the law; I am the law!"
Druid: "Roll for Bluff?"
Bard: "I don't think I need to."
DM: "Nah, you don't."
Party: "Really?"

I maintain that a well-developed backstory is more powerful than any class feature.
you know that guy 25th Jan 2015, 11:01 PM edit delete reply
I remember when Bards couldn't be the law.
Guest 30th Jan 2015, 9:00 PM edit delete reply
Pathfinder, not 3.5e. I know, it surprised me too, but I decided, if I could have a lawful bard, I'd roll with it.
DallyDaydream 25th Jan 2015, 3:04 AM edit delete reply
I registered just to make a story time comment on this Spud, I hope you're happy.




Dally out.
Euric 25th Jan 2015, 7:16 AM edit delete reply
But, they're drruuuuuggss!
Mykin 26th Jan 2015, 9:05 PM edit delete reply
Eventually I'll catch up enough to know what the heck any of this means. Until then, congrats on the account. Hope to hear more from you in the future! :D
BATMAN THE MAN 25th Jan 2015, 7:31 AM well shit edit delete reply
well now that i am pretty much 100% sure that friendship is betrayal is dead a friend linked me to this. enjoying it so far :D
Mykin 26th Jan 2015, 9:06 PM edit delete reply
Welcome then! Glad your enjoying your stay so far and cookies are in the corner to your left.
Archone 25th Jan 2015, 10:28 AM edit delete reply
I do this a lot. I did in the last Pathfinder session, when my alchemist handed the Elven King a chocolate.

(And since he ate and said that he enjoyed it, Rinaldo and his NPC business partner can now claim an endorsement from the Elven King for all fine products made by Rinaldo and Kandaulo)
Mykin 25th Jan 2015, 4:08 PM edit delete reply
I've talked a bit about my spellthief here and there on this comic. But for those of you who don't know, my spellthief was created as a fun little experiment for a solo campaign between two friends. I was basically told it was going to be rp heavy with a somewhat dark and serious tone for it. So I spent a few months with the DM to create an interesting story for him. A story that no one seemed interested in digging into once I joined and when we were saved from an army by a barbarian slamdunking a fireball, the dark and serious tone was benched along with that interest. I kept playing though, hoping that I might still be able to do something interesting...if the DM didn't stonewall me every time I attempted it.

So imagine my surprise when my character was approached quite a few sessions into the campaign by an npc whom he respected (which were few in number) and asked if they could have a heart to heart. My character was still a Nazi about revealing anything about himself but I made a point of using this opportunity to have him open up with someone who had a friend commit suicide near the beginning of the campaign (before the barbarian fireball incident) and thus understood the pain of losing someone dear to them. It was a nice emotional encounter...and of course, right as my character was about to open up, a shipmate barges into the room and insisted that we go up to the deck. I was a little ticked off by this since it utterly destroyed the mood and I knew I wasn't going to get this opportunity again. With heavy reluctance, I emerged from the bowels of the ship and was greeted by our sorceress jumping over the ship while riding a shark.

Yes, you read that right, my deep emotional rp moment was interrupted when the other player got bored and decided to jump off the ship and ride a shark for fun. At this point, I threw up my hands and gave up. When I told the DM I didn't want to play with my character anymore a few sessions later, he told me he would make a dramatic scene where the other pc would find his mask on her way back from whatever it was that she was doing...Of course that was skipped once she discovered the ability to travel to different dimensions on the way back.

I know my story isn't really all that dramatic, but how Luna/Rarity acted in this comic reminded me of how my Spellthief acted in that conversation (what little of it actually took place anyways). And since that was ruined by something so horribly out of left field, I figured it worked.
Sirrocco 25th Jan 2015, 6:52 PM edit delete reply
So the campaign, at that point, had literally jumped the shark?

Mykin 25th Jan 2015, 8:27 PM edit delete reply
Eeyup. And you know what's sad? That's still mild compared to some of the other stuff I've had to go through in my early DnD years. Things are much MUCH better now in comparison.
Digo 26th Jan 2015, 7:55 AM edit delete reply
Huh, and last night my Fallout: Equestria game got into some good drama that wasn't ruined. Specifically, my doctor managed to save the life of a ship captain's doctor. The captain invited me to dinner and said I could bring my friends.

Except two of the party members are at odds with each other and essentially brought the argument down to where my character had to choose between them. Not wanting to, my doctor thought up of a 3rd option that should help satisfy everyone, but instead it blew up in his face.

So now half the party is mad at my character, his almost-girlfriend is disappointed, and some other party members are rather silent/absent about the whole thing.

All because my poor character didn't want to have to choose between friends. Some good drama right there.
Fryla 26th Jan 2015, 11:22 AM edit delete reply
Figured I might want to join in on the story time now that I have a few more campaigns under my belt.

In a recent Pathfinder session, our village alchemist recently got arrested for crimes that weren't entirely his fault. (He had multiple personality disorder - it's complicated.) Who came to arrest him? Oh, about half a dozen death knights. Is should mention that we were all about level 4 during this. The alchemist was very near and dear to our hearts, so this entire thing was very dramatic and sad.

The oracle of our party was one of those people who was a bit drunk on his power - both in-character and out-of-character. Even though Pathfinder took stop steps to mitigate this, spellcasters turn out to be a little more powerful than average. I was playing a melee-focused inquisitor - some magic, not not much utility in it. The oracle was looking forward to the day when he was going to outstrip everyone else in the party in terms of raw magical ability.

So, as the alchemist was getting arrested, the oracle started to cast every buff spell he had on himself and chugged a couple potions. He intended to start a fight with them. Of course, I urged him to reconsider, as trying to take on half a dozen death knights would still be suicide at our level. Sure, he might be able to escape once he got involved, but then we might have some death knights on our tail for the rest of the campaign.

He looked me in the eyes and said, "Try and stop me."

My response, of course, was to tackle him to the ground. I rolled a grapple check on him that, thanks to our respectively optimized builds, he literally could not beat.

He spent the next five minutes pinned to the ground while the alchemist wrecked all those death knights with the power of his "dark side". Truth be told, if the oracle had gotten involved, it wasn't the death knights he would have had to worry about - it was the alchemist going nuts in Mr. Hyde mode.