Page 69 - Equivalent Exchange

14th Jan 2012, 5:00 AM in Friendship is Magic, Part 2
<<First Latest>>
Equivalent Exchange
Average Rating: 5 (2 votes)
<<First Latest>>

Author Notes:

Newbiespud 14th Jan 2012, 5:00 AM edit delete
Something like what Rarity's doing here is probably what makes "dashing rogue" characters so darn appealing. They're more than willing to help you out to the fullest, but they might help themselves to a pinch of gold while they're at it.

Notice: Guest comic submissions are open! Guidelines here. Deadline: February 20th.



Kaleopolitus 14th Jan 2012, 6:24 AM edit delete reply
I'm already getting all giddy about the upcoming Rogue stories from everyone :D
Akouma 14th Jan 2012, 6:41 AM edit delete reply
Once, I played a Rogue. I stabbed things. The end. :D
Akouma 14th Jan 2012, 6:43 AM edit delete reply
In all seriousness though, I don't have many good Rogue stories. Just never was my thing. I always sucked at characters that rely primarily on their weapons.
Kaleopolitus 14th Jan 2012, 7:06 AM edit delete reply
The dashing rogue doesn't need to rely on just his daggers, though *wink wink*
Kiana 14th Jan 2012, 7:31 AM edit delete reply
Though he may not rival them in size.
Guest 14th Jan 2012, 8:17 AM edit delete reply
There once was a Dashing Rouge. And was SO Dashing, everyone died. The end.
Kaleopolitus 14th Jan 2012, 8:43 AM edit delete reply
;_; That's not a funny story at all :(
Azureink 14th Jan 2012, 10:00 AM edit delete reply
It is not supposed to be funny.
Kaleopolitus 14th Jan 2012, 10:26 AM edit delete reply
Ah... That explains that.
Silka 14th Jan 2012, 12:41 PM Well... edit delete reply
In my current 4E group, we have a goblin rogue. He's a darn cute little guy. XD Anyway, he recently used an artifact (a black arrow that made things disintegrate) we had picked up to try and open up a hole in a wall so that we could get the monsters on the other side by surprise. Instead, our DM jawdropped at the player, called him something VERY unkind, and declared that the arrow had actually destroyed 99% of the dungeon! (He only gave us half of the experience reward for it. XD We still got started on our Paragon Paths, but still...)
Kaleopolitus 14th Jan 2012, 12:46 PM edit delete reply
Wait, so... That left you standing on a very small platform in the middle of a GIGANTIC empty cave?
terrycloth 15th Jan 2012, 9:11 AM edit delete reply
Never give players artifacts if you don't want them to use them!

Once a GM gave me a wand of super-duper magic missiles that basically annihilated all the enemies nearby whenever I used it. He kept telling me that I couldn't tell how many charges were left to get me to stop pulling it out every time a combat went south...

Which was a lot. Because he was the sort of GM that likes to throw overwhelming odds at the party so that they'll have to surrender and he can throw them in prison and force them to accept a quest to get out. Except that I had this wand that killed everything every time I used up a charge, see...
Kaleopolitus 15th Jan 2012, 10:17 AM edit delete reply
That is a very very stupid move by the GM ^_^'

And seriously, railroading like that is uninventive >.>
Kiana 15th Jan 2012, 5:16 PM edit delete reply
Never give the party ANYTHING if you don't want them to use it.

In that situation, I'd have had a percentage chart to roll on every time you used the wand, to determine if it was out of charges. And the chance of being out would increase with every charge spent...

Or, y'know, have it fail after you grew to rely on it. At a time you really needed it.

But then, I'm not the killer DM type, nor the type to give out something like that.
Shikome Kido Mi 19th Jan 2012, 9:00 PM edit delete reply
... And he didn't have it run out of charges at a critical time?

That guy is horrible. First, for giving players an artifact he didn't want them to use, second for throwing hordes of monsters at them they didn't feel they can beat (hey, I love throwing horribly challenging monsters at my players but they enjoy a hard fight), and thirdly, for not taking the very easy route to control the artifact abuse that he's clearly aware of.
Kiana 15th Jan 2012, 5:21 PM edit delete reply
This sounds like the result of a frustrated and tired DM... Because otherwise, why in Gygax's name would he have a 'thing' be an ENTIRE DUNGEON?

Better plan: Have it blast a 10'x10'x10' chunk out of the wall. Any "Completely destroys everything" item needs limits. Size, if nothing else. Preferably also the convenient "Doesn't affect creatures" clarification. And maybe make it a one-shot item. Still darn useful if used in the right situation. For want of a nail and all. ;3
Kaleopolitus 16th Jan 2012, 1:22 AM edit delete reply
Don't forget to add in a backfire percentage, which causes the user to spontaneously blow up >:D
Kiana 16th Jan 2012, 2:26 AM edit delete reply
Nah. I don't care for that kind of evil DM crap.

You rig up a room with an arched room, set up in just such a way that even a small missing section of wall or ceiling will cause it to collapse. And at least note that it looks dangerous, if the players bother to look.

That way, anything that happens was THEIR choice. "You didn't even look where you were aiming. You just ran into a room and fired your wand without a second thought, and look at where it got you."

Moral of the story, kids: Wands are not toys.
Kaleopolitus 16th Jan 2012, 2:49 AM edit delete reply
Every DM is at least a little bit evil as far as I've seen.
Some are Dark Souls style evil (fair but OH so eeeeeviiiiil), others are Nintendo evil ^_^'
Kiana 16th Jan 2012, 4:26 AM edit delete reply
My belief is that the DM should make the game challenging, but reasonable. The players should always have a good chance of succeeding... Unless they're blatantly doing something stupid, like stabbing a king in front of all his guards or trash talking a dragon.

I've met a few DMs that think having a 0.01% chance of success if 'fair'. "But you could have used *insert long winded and unintuitive 'solution' to the 'challenge'*"

If you're a DM and you're forcing your low level players to fight demi-liches and pit fiends, you are only qualified to DM for the most dedicated of masochists.
Kaleopolitus 16th Jan 2012, 5:23 AM edit delete reply
Yeah, if I DM'd, and mind you that I've never done so (In fact I'm doing my first campaign ever right now), I'd try to present situations which can be resolved either through dangerous combat, clever thinking (that lever the rogue pulled back there might have turned these robots on, let's go back and pull it again!) or inventive rolling (using a cantrip to do something rediculous or the likes).
Kiana 14th Jan 2012, 7:38 AM edit delete reply
Eh. Rogues. I don't play them, or even want to play them all that much. It's the fact that in half the groups I've been in, the rogue has been an idiot or flat out useless and in the other half, they're been a showboating ass.

4e campaign this one time was the worst. Male player, playing a large breasted drow female rogue... Who acted like the stereotypical blond cheerleader. We're talking dumb as a brick, bouncing everywhere, acting NOTHING like any real, non-brain damaged woman would act...

Needless to say, my sweet Polly Oliver sword mage didn't care for her. But other than some (justified and strictly in-character jibes) I tried to tolerate the rogue.

...Until the player started being a perverted ass as well. That killed any enjoyment I had in the campaign.

Male players, playing buxom females, CAN be done well. It's just that 99.9% of the time, it's not.
Azureink 14th Jan 2012, 10:03 AM edit delete reply
That is why I don't play female characters. Even though I would definitely play them much more respectably than most men, I still would feel like its wrong for me to impersonate another gender when I am not that gender.
Chris 14th Jan 2012, 11:50 AM edit delete reply
And yet, I assume you have no trouble playing a demi-human...

Don't get me wrong--few things in life are more annoying than having a male friend who plays a female character really poorly/offensively. But is it really any different than having a friend who plays his elf character as a stuck-up effete ass every single time? Or a friend who thinks that playing an evil character means "lol I stab you in the face when you're asleep and steal all the party's stuff?"
Kiana 14th Jan 2012, 8:30 PM edit delete reply
Ugh, yeah. Playing an asshole character can be justified - And actually fun, if the character genuinely DEVELOPS over time. And after repeated beatings from the party for being an ass. - but if the player is just playing them just to be an ass... Not good.

And playing the same general character every time always bugs me. I mean, when I'm a player, I always play female characters. But I play DIFFERENT female characters. Moody sword mage that dresses like a man and goes into the army to hide from her family. The artificer that wants to start a store, but is horrible with money because she spends all her time building and none of it selling. The little girl bound to a book of eldritch knowledge, steadily losing touch with her humanity.

I like variety. That's why I like DMing, because I can play as many characters as I want. It really gets the creative juices flowing.
Guest 14th Jan 2012, 9:07 PM edit delete reply
Chris-- It is different, because unless you have a very unusual group of friends, those other things aren't RL oppressed groups to which players in your game might belong. Those other things are annoying, certainly, but not really comparable.
Kiana 15th Jan 2012, 6:00 PM edit delete reply
"This is an intervention. You need to stop playing elves. We're getting worried about you..."
VAE 16th Jan 2012, 10:13 AM edit delete reply
Unless he's trying to play a North Korean peasant woman, I don't see how it qualifies as oppressed groups.

Also, am I the only one remembering that Drow are a matriarchal society? I think that could have a play into the fact he didn't act like a woman would due to different socio-economic background :3

Yes, the last point is me being devil's advocate, but the problem is, the above guy is an unconvincing roleplayer, not his particular choice of character - i bet he'd be as annoying as a stereotypical drunken dwarf, idiot orc, or, as said already an effeminate elf.

Kiana 16th Jan 2012, 11:30 PM edit delete reply
Having read a good chunk of the background on the Drow race, I have a hard time believing any drow woman would enjoy giggling and bouncing her tits every ten seconds.

Given, the drow rogue in question was imprisoned when she joined the party (with my character, being in the army, was tasked with being her parole officer.) but spending a few days in prison doesn't explain acting like a twit. And, if I remember right (it has been years, after all) she was arrested on suspicion of being an assassin. What with the numerous daggers and at least one crossbow she had on her...

Come to think of it, I think my character's reason the drow should be released was roughly "She's not acting, she really is that stupid. Does that look like an assassin to you?"

And I wouldn't know if the drow's player would be as bad if he played another character, but my gut instinct says he would be. As I mentioned, he was a perverted jerk out of character, away from the game...
VAE 17th Jan 2012, 3:26 AM edit delete reply
Hmm, If I were particularly evil, I'd have a character with this kind of idiocy as an act, then flip to a real personality once it became advantageous.
"You really didn't think someone could be this stupid, did ya?"

That said, one game I ran (DnD3.5 with a custom rule superset for the setting of the DMFA comic) had an NPC that was almost as dumb as this (well, not bouncing tits, but rather a sort of a cross between stereotypical valley girl and stereotypical demon. In fact it was a canon character - Regina) One PC, a demon rogue, managed to exploit this beautifully, and extract some seemingly innocuous information, which allowed them to choose a much, much better entry route through the broken roof, bypassing two floors of the dungeon entirely, never mind not getting into a fight with her.
Nezumi 24th Feb 2012, 11:21 AM edit delete reply
... VAE, you did not just pull out the "Waaah! Sexism isn't oppression! Let's worry about real oppression, like those poor North Korean peasants" card.
Enchanter Tim 17th Jan 2012, 4:38 AM edit delete reply
on the topic of males playing female characters badly (from the Goblins webcomic):
Kiana 18th Jan 2012, 12:53 AM edit delete reply
And the sad thing is, the guy I'm talking about acted EXACTLY like the character in that comic. Exactly.
Raxon 22nd Jan 2012, 2:00 PM edit delete reply
I would totally play a female drow rogue character like that, but hand the DM a sealed envelope when I make the character. It would contain the following information...

"She isn't really a clueless ditz. She just acts that way to put make people underestimate her. She's actually quite cunning. It totally worked, didn't it?"
Raxon 15th Jun 2012, 9:27 AM edit delete reply
I wouldn't mind playing a stereotypical dumb blonde bimbo valley girl drow, right up until the sealed envelope is opened, and her true nature as a cunning, devious, ruthless tactician were revealed.

It's just that she's a drow, everything about drow society is evil and backstabbing. The slutty blonde valley girl act is just how she saw surface women at first, and it's the persona she adopted. And nobody ever questions it for a second, because she falls into a preconceived notion of how foreign women act.
Colin 18th Jan 2012, 6:30 PM edit delete reply
I am currently playing a female character... but I picked it to basically play Toph Bei Fong. So now I have a boisterous freedom fighter who telekinetically tosses warforged across the room, and once threw a gryphon and rider at another gryphon (I love Living Missile). She's nominally unaligned, but a definite "leave no man/woman behind" girl.
leafia6 14th Jan 2012, 7:50 AM edit delete reply
Wonder if there's dragon scaled clothes in Equestria?
Kiana 14th Jan 2012, 9:14 PM edit delete reply
If there are, Spike's going to be really uncomfortable.
Woolytop 14th Jan 2012, 8:07 AM edit delete reply
I had a character once that wasn't so much "Dashing" Rogue as "Dumbass" rogue. I rolled low, like six or something, so I decided to use wisdom as my dump stat, then due to an incident with a deck of many things, my wisdom score dropped to like 4. My dex was like 18, though, so the way I'd disarm traps was by walking into them, then using epic dodge skills to avoid damage. That was a good character...
legomaster00156 15th Jan 2012, 5:40 PM edit delete reply
Ah, Wisdom: the Rogue's universal dump stat.
terrycloth 16th Jan 2012, 11:32 AM edit delete reply
Wisdom is the best dump stat, because then you get to do silly things.

Strength is the best dump stat because it means the fighter has to carry your luggage.

Dexterity is the best dump stat because who doesn't like pratfalls?

Intelligence is the best dump stat because you don't have to listen to any of the flavor text. If someone tries to quiz you on it later, you can just go "What?"

Charisma is the best dump stat because you get to act like a jerk and have an excuse.

Never, ever dump constitution. There's nothing fun about being dead. x.x
Kiana 16th Jan 2012, 11:33 PM edit delete reply
I cringe at creating a character with lower than 10 in any stat, at least in 4e. With 22 point buy and two +2s just at level one and a system that favors two +0s over a -1 and a +1... Yeah. =|

Every time I make a new character, it's "Okay, so start with five 10s and one 8... put two points on that 8... now what ability scores suit the character?"
Nezumi 24th Feb 2012, 11:26 AM edit delete reply
I'm the kind of person who will actually try to talk the GM/DM into letting me have stats lower than the normal minimums if it fits the character.
Colin Smith 15th Oct 2013, 8:45 AM Dump stats edit delete reply
Sure, dying is unfun, but it's a goof dump stat if you expect to become undead, since they lose it anyway. Plus, it makes for characters who can't hold their liquor... a game I DM'd once weaponized their hungover gnomish sorceress by pointing her at the barkeep for a bonus on their Intimidate rolls to interrogate him.
I usually can't stand stats lower than 10, but if it suits the character, I'm all for it... the problem is that I tend to have an idea of what they're like before I roll stats. That actually usually works fine for me (my Risk dice love me, and I them, so they're my designated stat-dice)... but the last campaign I played in, the DM vetoed my character because I rolled too high (with half the party as witnesses!) because he wanted a low-powered campaign, and gave me a choice of any one of a set of stat spreads, to distribute as I pleased... actually worked okay, I just had to have lower INT & WIS than I'd wanted, meaning fewer skill points (that hurt, I like skills) and less woodland mastery (which also hurt, since I was playing an orc who left home as a messenger to call on a faraway kingdom to honor the mutual-aid treaty they signed with us, since we're besieged by drow, but who fell in love with wilderness along the way, becoming a Favored Soul of Obad-Hai, god of nature - basically, I was an orc hippie). On the plus side, he allowed me to make my casting purely CHA-based (normally, a Favored Soul's DCs are wisdom-based, and everything else is CHA).
SirMittens 14th Jan 2012, 8:32 AM edit delete reply
In a D&D 4E game, the DM presented us with the plot hook that a nearby dungeon was overrun with the undead. My character, the party's face, through luck of the dice and seeing what all the DM would let me get away with, managed to convince the quest-giver (a mage) to purchase Haunting Insurance on top of paying us to deal with the undead threat.

For something like an extra 50% of the reward money, the party agreed NOT to haunt the town if we failed and became undead ourselves.
Darkside 14th Jan 2012, 8:47 AM Not quite a Rogue... edit delete reply
One 3.5e campaign I played in, I wasn't a Rogue, but rather a Ninja, which was nearly broken.

For instance, one of their class abilities lets them turn invisible (later "upgraded" to turning ethereal), with it automatically fading after a round.

My battles usually started with "I turn invisible, Sneak behind the enemy and Sudden Strike (like Sneak Attack, but can only be used when the opponent isn't allowed a Dex bonus) them." Next round: "I turn invisible, move to a different place and Sudden Strike them." Repeat until the enemy is dead. (Which, now that I look at the class's pages, I discover the GM was letting me use my invisibility more than I think I should have been able to...)
legomaster00156 15th Jan 2012, 5:43 PM edit delete reply
Actually, the Ninja is considered a very poor class, even in comparison to the Rogue. Between Sudden Strike being strictly inferior to Sneak Attack (which itself is a poor feature, given the many monsters that are immune to it), and a horrible form of Invisibility, there's just not many redeeming features.
Rectifier 16th Jan 2012, 12:03 AM edit delete reply
My Kobold Ninja disagrees; btw I love playing Kobolds, especially in dnd 3/3.5.

We were on a boat heading to some jungle campaign (Chult?) and the dm liked Aboleth out of nowhere! First thing it does is dominate the sorcerer who...specializes in spells like dominate. So now the other two party members are playing a cat and mouse game with the dominated caster and the aboleth so that they don't themselves get dominated and don't kill our mind controlled party member. This is where I come in.

Knowing that Aboleths are -extremely- dangerous from ooc knowledge and the fact that my character hates big things, my kobold spent the whole time sniping at the thing with sudden strike and using the ninja's invisibility in between to move away from the aboleth's huge range (and yes I kept track of the amount of times I could go invis). Long story short, aboleth gets pwned and the party loves the kobold.

Next time I managed to impress the party we were in a ruined structure and myself and the aforementioned sorcerer had been forced into a tunnel with no exit and two angry dragon-centaur lizard things. I believe my character had something like 20 dex, high wisdom, and bracers of ac +1. Since ninjas can use dex and wisdom for armor like monks, I popped combat expertise and got an ac somewhere around 35 with a level 7 character with no armor on. Needless to say, eyebrows were raised. At one point someone was like, "You can do all the Rogue skills, do random ninja shit, *and* have a monk's ac?!" They thought ninjas were overpowered after that lol.
Bronymous 14th Jan 2012, 9:23 AM edit delete reply
All I know is, our rogue was pretty much useless, though that wasn't entirely her fault. She had some pretty impressive feats and stats, especially when it came to doing damage with her bow, but she could never HIT anything. Of all the encounters in all our sessions, she managed to hit an enemy maybe three times.

As for the other aspect of playing a rogue... my Hexblade had to constantly remind her to look around for nice things to steal. Like all the time.
Cantdrawatall 14th Jan 2012, 10:07 AM edit delete reply
Once, my one friend ran a campaign where we were all spies during a war in Dnd 3.5. I ran a rogue, but my specialty was that I had a tool for every situation. The first session was a test of our characters, where we all were competing to be the one to steal a set of documents, the one who got them would receive a bonus and get to be the leader.

I proceeded to break into the fort through the sewer system, I then washed myself off in the basement with a bar of soap and some water, (I think it is important to mention that the only magical item I had was a Handy Haversack), I then proceeded to sneak in, hiding even from the other PCs as I made my way slowly outside and then up the exterior wall. I was too late to get the papers, but I did end up rescuing one of my teammates who had been knocked unconscious by a contact poison left behind by another player. We proceeded to zip line out of the fort just as the alarm was sounded by another player.

That campaign ended with me setting up a controlled demolition of a decorative monolith that dropped it onto soldiers barracks during a personal inspection by the enemy king. Good times had by all.
Azureink 14th Jan 2012, 10:08 AM edit delete reply
Now Rarity has a weapon (the scale). I wonder how that will play out in the future.

Although being a fashion designer, she has scissors and large pins and all sorts of sharp objects and string used in creating dresses that could be used as Rogue weapons and tools.

She should braid some of her sewing materials together and make a rope. You never know when that will be useful to have.
Kaleopolitus 14th Jan 2012, 11:41 AM edit delete reply
Lycanthromancer 14th Jan 2012, 11:47 AM edit delete reply
I wasn't exactly a ROGUE, but I had a 3.5 gestalt psion//factotum (psions fill the caster role, and factotums fill the rogue archetype, and a great many more, as well - they're the ultimate skillmonkeys) that played something akin to a not-so-dashing rogue.

I was an evil goblin in a party of good characters. You'd think this would be a recipe for disaster, but I was actually quite loyal to the party overall (after all, who else would put their lives on the line to protect my oh-so-squishy self?), but I definitely took the time to line my pockets with gold and magic items.

The Big Bad, an epic level sorceress with a seriously powerful artifact-level staff that protected her with a permanent antimagic field, decided that since I was evil, she could turn me against the party. And so she far as she knew. I had awesome social skills, a decent Charisma score, an insane Intelligence, and a willingness to play both sides against each other. I managed to Bluff, lie, cheat, and steal my way through the campaign, lying to both sides just enough to make sure that I came out on top - while making sure that my party members did as well, though of course they came in right under me. My tales of self-sacrifice to my party, as well as my fabricated intel to the sorceress, ensured that I managed to keep all the pieces on the table, and they all viewed me as the MVP of the group, since the info-gathering went both ways.

They only learned that I was a mole at the end of the campaign when the sorceress outed me to them, and insisted that I kill the party, or at least keep them at bay while she attained godhood. That, of course, ticked me off (as she was feeding me to the wolves to save her own hide), so I swaggered in front of the party, revealed that I had all the super-powerful artifact items we were supposed to collect to keep out of Evil's hands, then teleported next to the sorceress and laughed my best maniacal laugh. In this campaign, psionics was treated differently than magic, and the teleport was to test my theory.

No, the artifact staff DIDN'T protect her from my psionics. And so I unloaded my entire salvo of psionic might on her ass, and I one-shotted her in a shower of gore. I spat on (what was left of) her corpse, and told her not to **** with someone whose brain is hung like a horse.

The party was left with their jaws agape.

Good times.
Lucidity 15th Jan 2012, 3:25 PM edit delete reply
Damn. Just...damn.
legomaster00156 15th Jan 2012, 5:47 PM edit delete reply
This is how a Rogue should be played.
Michael Cra 15th Jan 2012, 7:40 PM edit delete reply
In a 3.5E me and my friends did when we got to the end boss one of my friends was also a Psion. While the big bad boss was summoning his minions and starting to give his Speech he Mind thrust'ed.. I think that's what the skill was called.

But he crit and used every skill he had to add extra damage and also crit'd it was amazing rolls, but to get to the point he turned the guys brain to goo and then his head exploded it was fantastic and left the GM pissed because it was suppose to be a very long winded battle and he hadn't even finished the beginning of his monologue XD
Lycanthromancer 16th Jan 2012, 5:11 PM edit delete reply
Hmm. Can't crit with Mind Thrust, since you don't make an attack roll. Were there houserules involved? Did he use a different power? Or was there cheating afoot?
Thud 16th Jan 2012, 11:25 PM edit delete reply
I've seen DMs treat rolling a one on a saving throw as the enemy getting a crit on you.
Lycanthromancer 17th Jan 2012, 4:30 PM edit delete reply
That could very well be the case, I'm not sure.

Anyway, My Little Factoty was wicked fun to play; I had lots of low-level abilities that could be used imaginatively to do all sorts of cool stuff. I generally focused on being the go-to guy for utility and battlefield control. I rarely dealt actual damage to anyone (though by the example above, I could definitely do that; he was, I believe, level 19, and managed to take down someone protected by massively powerful magic who was well into epic territory).

My favorite story to tell to illustrate how fun using cleverness to overcome challenges is as follows:

Lycanthromancer 17th Jan 2012, 4:31 PM edit delete reply
My party and I were all level 16, and we'd had some run-ins with the Big Bad's goons, though we hadn't met her in person yet. Earlier in the day she sent me a telepathic message telling me that if I wouldn't come to her then she'd MAKE me come to her. In order to goblin-nap me, she sent her pet undead shadow dragon dracolich out on the hunt after a bit of divining where we were headed so it could intercept.

Now, we, as I mentioned, were level 16. The dragon was an appropriate challenge for a party of about level --33-- and no, that's not a typo. The DM wanted a seriously overpowering monster so we wouldn't have a chance in hell against it (though I only learned that little detail later).

Lycanthromancer 17th Jan 2012, 4:31 PM edit delete reply
I kept this from the party, though I did make a few suggestions that helped everyone prepare for the coming battle, and I kept my eye out for trouble. I made the Spot check to see it through the dusky twilit forest of trees, warned the group, and the rest of the party buffed up while I spent a couple of rounds creating an astral construct (which is basically a psionic summoned monster with a suite of choosable combat abilities) and altering the soon-to-be field of battle to my advantage. As soon as it flew down near the tops of the trees I created a solid wall right in front of it (anchored to a tree), which it crashed into head-first. It fell through the trees and landed near the party (near enough that everyone got attacks of opportunity as it stood from prone). I used my Huge-sized construct to try and grapple it (which unfortunately missed on a bad roll).

The next round, the cleric blinded it with a spell (which generally does absolutely no good at all, since dragons have blindsight, kind of like bats, and it didn't even bother trying to resist for that reason), and it attacked me with everything it had, and it managed to paralyze me with its touch of undeath. Now, psionic characters don't need to move to manifest their powers, so I usually wouldn't be TOO badly off. However, its next move was to pick me up and take me with it (which I REALLY didn't want), so I mentally commanded my construct to pick me up and take off like a bat (or a dragon) out of hell, out into the forest.

Lycanthromancer 17th Jan 2012, 4:32 PM edit delete reply
I frantically made a whole bunch of little me-shaped constructs (which the dragon couldn't distinguish from the real me without actual vision), and then had the big construct hide me in a pile of leaf-litter. When the dragon caught up, it kept grabbing at the little me-shaped constructs while the big construct tried to grapple it (and the little ones swarmed it to help). I managed to keep the damned thing pinned down until the party caught up, and kept it all but helpless while they bashed its head in repeatedly.

So, yeah. Cleverness saves the day (though of course I told my party that it was them that did all the important parts, like the hp damage, though the blindness was somewhat useful, I must admit).

So, yes, that's my story of how I (almost) single-handedly took down a level 33 monster at level 16! Huzzah!
Aurabolt 14th Jan 2012, 12:39 PM edit delete reply
But they are rogues. They would still be more than willing to grief the player.
Guest 14th Jan 2012, 12:46 PM edit delete reply
Lol, is that why you played the illusion wizard in my campaign Alex?
Ranubis 14th Jan 2012, 1:00 PM edit delete reply
NNM: "Ok, this is the last straw. Not only did the distraction fail, but now the rogue has a weapon? Ok, new plan, split them up and turn them against each other. Now, who to go after first?"
kriss1989 16th Jan 2012, 9:14 PM kriss1989 edit delete reply
NMM: "Detect Alignment!" *glowy eyes* "Aha! The barbarian is EVIL! He'll be easy to tempt! No, wait, she. Dang her hair is short. And she has almost no flank."
Guest 17th Jan 2012, 4:54 AM edit delete reply
Good idea, but why choose Dash in that instance? If I recall, Dash has "Chaotic Evil", whereas Rarity just has pure "Evil". All NMM would have to do is tempt her with any of the following:
-A new tail
-Awesome robes/armor
If I was turning a group on itself, I'd go for the rogue. Not usually the "loyal" class...
Cain 19th Jan 2012, 9:44 AM edit delete reply
Remember what Zanoth was doing through the campaign? Sneak and Loot
reynard61 14th Jan 2012, 1:01 PM edit delete reply
"They're more than willing to help you out to the fullest, but they might help themselves to a pinch of gold while they're at it."

Eh. Call it a "fee for services rendered"...
Kiana 14th Jan 2012, 8:19 PM edit delete reply
That tends to be how I play ALL my characters. "Oh, sure, I'm happy to help! ...Provided you compensate me for my time and the risk to my health."

Though I tend to charge relative to the wealth of the quest giver. And sometimes wave the fee entirely if the quest has certain... elements. Like a villain that's doing something deeply, deeply opposed to my character's personal beliefs. "So he's desecrating graves. Huh. Tell you what: Just keep the money and point me to him..."
terrycloth 15th Jan 2012, 9:17 AM edit delete reply
Heehee. "So he's robbing valuables that you guys bury with your dead, huh? They're not trapped or anything? Just stashed inside the coffins, which are consecrated to prevent undead? Just point me to the graveyard, and I'll take care of the problem. No, no, no reward necessary..."
Kiana 15th Jan 2012, 11:40 AM edit delete reply
Not what I meant in the least. "They're desecrating graves? No reward is necessary, I'll do it just for the satisfaction."

Respect for the dead and buried is a common conviction of many of my characters. Even my necromancer had respect for the dead and procured corpses through legal, if not necessarily pleasant, means.

...Though I did have a sword mage that had no problem with leaving the bodies of her allies and countrymen to rot if it meant killing her target even an hour sooner. And another character that believed burying the dead was a horrible sin, since her religion believed that the soul is only released from the body by burning... Not that she dug up graves, just that she had a very, very hard time tolerating people that did the burying...
The Lost 14th Jan 2012, 2:42 PM Rogue Exploits edit delete reply
Well I got a short one... I was trying to be all sociable and ask about a new character's back story... Namely why he was in the middle of a dungeon alone, and why we should let him join... We met him in a dungeon, normally we'd attack on sight... Hoping to sneak in a surprise round before he could summon his comrades... I mean how could we tell him apart from any other hostiles... He answered my question with the old cope out, "I don't remember." To which I had my rogue respond, "You don't remember why your alone in the middle of this dungeon? He's a monster (in disguise), kill him." And so he responded, "No, no... I'm just forgetful..."

And that's where I had him.

"Oh your forgetful, are you? Then I should remind you about that gold you owe me..." he laughed at this until he realized I expected him to pay. The DM told us to do bluff vs insight, knowing that my rogue specialized in lying. He was raised by actors, in a traveling troupe of performers. Of course I won the check by a landslide. The weasel tried to argue, but the DM made him pay and set the amount.

The gold wasn't a lot, but the painful reminder to have a back story and a reason why your where your being introduced was priceless. And no, "I have memory loss," doesn't count as a good reason.
Kaleopolitus 14th Jan 2012, 3:02 PM edit delete reply
Lazy people -.-' Guess we can't all be into roleplaying...
DiceArt 14th Jan 2012, 5:13 PM edit delete reply
I played a Rouge/Bard multiclass character in 3.5 champagne. He was less like a dashing rouge and more like an insane lunatic who believed that the puppet he had fashioned on to the end of his mace was a god. He called it lord Schnuckems. He even managed to get others to believe it was a god as well and eventually it did become a god, but that was after the DM confiscated my character to make it the main villain.
Joe 16th Jan 2012, 1:06 PM edit delete reply
So...did the puppet play any instruments? Maybe a stringed instrument? One he was named after?
fakename 14th Jan 2012, 7:17 PM Spelling is hard edit delete reply
R-O-G-U-E. Rogue.
Kiana 14th Jan 2012, 8:21 PM edit delete reply
Text based gaming can get odd, because so many rogues seem to be trying to sell the party make up...
Guest 14th Jan 2012, 9:02 PM edit delete reply
Well it /is/ Rarity...
Limey Lassen 14th Jan 2012, 11:16 PM edit delete reply
Limey Lassen
Pretty sure we already did this joke. XD
John Walter Biles 15th Jan 2012, 12:42 AM edit delete reply
I don't know why but there's something just weird to me about seeing a still photo of the ponies jumping along with everyone in the air.

Kaleopolitus 15th Jan 2012, 1:57 AM edit delete reply
... John Biles. It's an honor to see someone of your writing class here.


But on topic, yes, I found it especially disturbing when there was a still of Pinkie with a weird face. It... Sucks your soul in!
Curb 15th Jan 2012, 6:38 AM edit delete reply
For fun on game I played as wererat rogue and my brother was a playing a mage. It got messy when we got into an argument and used burning hands on a 100 year old alcohol soaked bar...didn't end well (bonfire anyone?) We could never go back to that town...ever!

Hmm, have to find a Rifts Rogue class for Rarity...Dash is a Knight now...given pinkie's nature, I think I'm gonna set her up as a Merc...maybe with a tank...oh god, Pinkie meets Tank Girl...hehe...that would be a blast!
magewolf 15th Jan 2012, 1:51 PM edit delete reply
one time we dug out some old level 5 guys from a dead champain so we could help the new guys get into dnd.
so you got a L5 warrior, L5 barbairian, my L5 social rouge, a L1 night and a L1 wizard.
(i dont remember what system cause it was over 15 years ago.)
the warrior always had food and ah was hitin on just about anyone ah could see was female.

between the bar fight and the actual quest for the hell fire sword, ah dont know how our charecters survived letalone sucseeded, but the biggest surprize came years later.

watch the movie thor tales of asgard and its like watching a bigger more epicly scaled verson of that campain.

our campain was the bar seen-the return to asgard without refrinces 2 norse mythology.

even my penchant fo colecting tresures 2 give 2 the ladies is in there, its freaky!
Kaleopolitus 15th Jan 2012, 3:02 PM edit delete reply
Brain... Hurts... Next time, please don't rape my brain with grammar THAT bad ;_;
Guest 16th Jan 2012, 10:12 PM edit delete reply
Scratch that...
Guest 16th Jan 2012, 10:12 PM edit delete reply

It's "grammar".
Kaleopolitus 17th Jan 2012, 2:33 AM edit delete reply
The irony is strong in this- I'll be going now.
Guest 17th Jan 2012, 5:36 AM edit delete reply
Oh the irony...
Raxon 15th Jun 2012, 9:46 AM edit delete reply
Mmm, I love that chewy, irony center.
Shadow 15th Jan 2012, 8:47 PM edit delete reply
In my first campaign there was a hexblade in the party and in the middle of the battle he decided to loot one of our allies that where unconscious. I played a rogue and I rolled to see what the hexblade was doing. I succeeded and went over there and knocked him on his butt. The hexblade was going to attack me his next turn but, the DM called him out and said that since the battle had ended the rest of the party would be able to see and, since he was the one looting, probably attack him. The only other impressive thing that I did with this character was roll underneath something and stab it in the spine.

There was also another time when, with a different rogue character, I carried around a rusted cutlass so I could stick it in holes. For some strange reason me and another player were in a tower when a fight broke out and while in the tower I found a hole and poked my cutlass in it and found a centipede. Another funny thing I did was fail a spot check on a faraway boat and thought it was a navy ship. Another player wisely did a spot check and didn't fail, she told every one what it was. I had may character insist that it was a navy ship, and when she asked about the flag having a skull and crossed bones, my character said that it had a blue flag with an angel on it.

Am I the only one that plays nice rogues?
Except that last one she was insane and blindly followed my sister's character.
Kiana 15th Jan 2012, 10:02 PM edit delete reply
I've not actually played a rogue, though I played a few characters that were similar in function. (And I've got one or two prerolled rogues laying around.)

Most of them have been pretty nice and generous. Or at least not backstabbing jerks. I'm apparently the only player in my circle of friends to genuinely consider playing a charitable rogue. =P
Dragonflight 16th Jan 2012, 12:27 AM edit delete reply
I recall an old game where a jerk player played a rogue. He conned the GM into letting him have a "blood brother" who was a half-orc, on the grounds that he was a straight-rolled thief who needed protection. The GM apparently felt a player who could both do the thiefing and still be a useful combat type was worth the try. Big mistake.

The very first session, my character (magic user) wakes up to discover the thief's hand in her beltpouch, rummaging around for free gold. I immediately started casting magic missile, but was knocked silly by the blood brother half-orc, who proceeded to menace the whole party with his 2-H sword, and a grim warning about what would happen if anyone so much as raised a hand against the thief.

The player continued to loot treasure and keep it for himself over the next several sessions. He was caught trying to pick the players' pockets more than once, and kept running behind his other player character for protection whenever anyone tried to do anything about it.

Finally, the DM had enough. He set a trap that involved what looked like a solid-gold minotaur head on a hunter's plaque. The half-orc told everyone in no uncertain terms that it belonged to the thief, walked over, and tried to pick it up. The magical trap spewed out a gas that turned him to stone.

The thief, suddenly without any protection at all, ran for dear life with the rest of us in hot pursuit. When he got to this hole we'd been planning to rappel down later on, he jumped down, in the hopes it had water at the bottom so he could swim away.

It didn't.

The player left the game at that point. As I recall, my mage player deliberately severed the head of the half-orc statue. It was eventually used as a bookend in her library once she built her wizard's tower.
Kaleopolitus 16th Jan 2012, 1:48 AM edit delete reply
That is an amazing story.
Thank mercy that the DM took action though...
VAE 16th Jan 2012, 11:03 AM edit delete reply
Makes me wonder how either of them didn't once wake up with a dagger in their eye, courtesy of another party member.
Kaleopolitus 16th Jan 2012, 2:54 PM edit delete reply
Taking turns sleeping, no doubt.
VAE 17th Jan 2012, 3:05 AM edit delete reply
Either way , though. The rest of the party ,for most party sizes should be able to take on two party members in straight-out combat, and even the fact that at least one of them would have to get up would be an advantage.

I very much doubt the GM would be against, if he's worth his salt.
Kontaro DragonFyre 6th May 2013, 11:51 PM edit delete reply
Kontaro DragonFyre
I had an unaligned Sneaky sniper rogue in a 4E game not too long ago. Her backstory was that she had been betrayed by an accomplice as an entry fee into a thieves guild...

As her build gave her a high Int stat, she was smart enough to not be very trusting of the new group she got into, but on the other hand, wasn't about to start stealing from them right away.

She ended up as the party's 'banker' usually carrying around all the loot in a bag of holding they found. Unfortunately, me and the DM decided to 'retire' her for a plot hook to start a second campain once the current one was over.

She did backstab one ally tho, mainly cause he was backstabbing everyone else first. A monk in the party had used a movement power to fly up to a ledge, and found some magical items and such. He called for the bag of holding to be tossed up to him, and my rogue refused because it'd likely fall into the crevice right beneath said ledge, and I couldn't use my crossbow to shoot it up either because I had no good angle of firing. So he put on everything he could, tossed 2 pairs of boots he couldn't wear off the ledge(I managed to succeed on a Dex roll and catch them) and flew down, then refused to hand over the other loot to the party members that needed/wanted them because we refused to send the bag up. As the argument between him and two other party members started getting more towards him running off with the loot, my rogue stealthily drew her +3 shortsword, and blew a daily on stabbing him in the back, dropping his health down by half with that one daily, he won initative, and tried to fly off again, but triggered an AoO from me and another ally who decided to help, and so we knocked him unconcious.

We woulda just gotten our gear and left it at that, maybe, after all, that +3 shortsword had been found with 4 others, and said monk, who found them, kept the two that weren't being used to sell, in addition to a share of loot we'd found that day, so he was already on strike 2 at this point... however, said player didn't keep IC and OOC very seperate, and stormed outta the skype chat in a huff, so we tied up his character and 'accidently' dropped him down the crevice after getting our loot back. The DM asked if we wanted to let him back in, and the rest of the party agreed that with his exit, if we did, he'd bring in a character designed to kill our own, so said no, the DM then confirmed that the player had been planning exactly that once we made our decision.
leafia6 15th Jan 2012, 10:30 PM edit delete reply
Look on the bright side Rarity. After blasting a god with a rainbow laser, you regrow your tail, somehow.
Urthdigger 16th Jan 2012, 9:07 AM edit delete reply
In a Pathfinder campaign I'm in, I happen to play a dashing rogue... minus the rogue. He's a priest of Olidamarra (DM figured spheres of influence were likely Charm and Trickery, as he didn't have a source book stating the actual spheres), and he specializes in using charm spells, illusions, and straight up bluff checks to have fun with his adventuring. Sadly, this doesn't always match up with what the other players do, as in a session 2 weeks ago.

We're currently racing through a fortress that has been turned into a massive golem, set on smashing the army we've spent the past several months aiding. So, yeah, time is of the essence. As we're checking rooms as fast as we can for the stairs leading down, we come across a scullery maid who asks what we're doing there. I make a bluff check, stating that we're delivering a message to the leader, and that this is the fastest way (It actually was). The maid believed me, and was content to let us pass through (So, another room that took us mere seconds in game time). Then the other players throw a wrench into the works.

See, earlier we saw another section of the fortress through a peephole, and saw an ogre was patrolling it. One of our players had the bright idea of having the maid accompany us, so that when we reach the ogre we just have the mage cast a lust spell between the ogre and the maid. At this point, I facepalmed hard and asked the fellow player if he was aware of the difference between Charm and Bluff, namely that Bluff only helps for that one action, it doesn't make them more likely to go along with subsequent actions (And thus it's a bad idea to have the people you're trying to fool hang around where they can observe you). Well, the maid refuses, so the player physically picks the maid up and carries her off with us. The best part is, we never did go through that section where the ogre is, and I think the maid was simply forgotten.

Sometimes, I wonder why I try to make smart solutions to my party's problems >.<
Nezumi 24th Feb 2012, 11:57 AM edit delete reply
... If I were GMing that game, just suggesting that you use mind-control-induced rape as a distraction would get the threat of an alignment change to Chaotic Evil, if not the change outright.
Wayra Hyena 16th Jan 2012, 4:39 PM edit delete reply
Dashing rogue? How about simply a charming rogue? In a pathfinder campaign a friend of mine is running I play a Chaotic Good half-elf rogue-alchemist named Aki. Aki is a little sweetheart, really, but most of what she gets isn't through deception, but through genuine trust. The entire party practically regards her as a leader, being willing to follow where she wants to go (and in some cases I have to be my GM's plot-device to get the players to follow the tracks to the next plot point because they follow her...). She's an absolute darling who, yes, will do things for the money, but she mostly does things if they just feel right. For example, when offered a reward to go help rescue a friend of a friend from jail, she accepted without knowing the reward, and when the job was done, she didn't bother to remind him, figuring if he was good and worth helping, he'd do so himself. Aki is FAR to the 'good' side of the spectrum (AND the chaotic side… she has a HUGE inner prankster). She will take place between an enemy and the group's insane fighter to prevent her from killing a sapient life. Her favorite methods of dropping opponents are through drow poison (to knock them out harmlessly) or by nonlethal means. She demands that the cleric stabilize any sapient creatures they fight when the battle is over. She never thinks of killing a sapient who could possibly have family, friends, and people who love and would miss them, as an alternative, even if they're attacking her. Yeah, she's idealistic, and someday she'll probably accidentally kill someone… that'll be an interesting breakdown to play. So yes, super-good and sweet, trustable because even as a rogue, she doesn't normally have the compulsion to steal. She's more the type to listen in on secrets than to lighten someone's pockets.

… oooon the flip side, Aki is also the daughter of a merchant, and she can be a sharp when making deals with someone. Next time I level her in rogue I will be giving her the Black Market Connections talent hopefully. As of right now, other than seeming to have the party's total trust, not too much amazement has come from her good actions, but that's not something I intend on giving up on. Aki is apparently a natural kind-hearted leader, even though she is a tad… eccentric. Remember, she's also dual-classed into Alchemist… she can be a tad nutty.

I kind of hope that someday they run into those lives Aki forced them to spare and we get to learn what came of them for better or for worse.
kriss1989 16th Jan 2012, 9:17 PM kriss1989 edit delete reply
"Wait a second, where are my PANTS?"

And that's how I acquired the key to release the gold dragon and saved the kingdom from the evil Hextorites.
Guest 16th Jan 2012, 10:13 PM edit delete reply
You're using them as a sword.
*Shadow of Israphel reference*
kriss1989 17th Jan 2012, 4:24 PM kriss1989 edit delete reply
To put some context on that, my rouge walked in, blathered out a fake 'treaty' with the Hexorites, stole the pants, walked out, and it was only noticed when an attendant got up the nerve to point it out. By Celestia's beard I love natural 20s.
Dragonfodder 16th Jan 2012, 10:18 PM edit delete reply
After my changeling rogue waltzed through an entire Drow stronghold disguised as Lolth, with the party in tow as "slaves" the changeling race has been banned from use, or at least banned from use with trained bluff and high charisma.
Kiana 16th Jan 2012, 11:36 PM edit delete reply
I thought the changeling could only disguise as a creature of roughly the same size? Lolth is at least as large as a drider, so she's Large or bigger... Unless you disguised as her form, which I haven't heard of her using since third edition.
Dragonflight 17th Jan 2012, 3:05 PM edit delete reply
If I recall correctly, there's this night on a yearly, or decade-ly or something cycle, where Lolth shows up in a Drow city looking like a native girl. Depending on how she's treated when she fetches up on someone's doorstep determines how prosperous that family is afterward.

I always found that to be an interesting, and very non-Lolth behavior. Then again, I find the whole Drow thing totally unrealistic to begin with, and completely ignore the Super Race of Unstoppable Black-skinned Angst-Ridden Uber Elves any time I run a game.

In my games, Dark Elves are usually portrayed more like Pirotess from Record of Lodoss War. They can be dark. They can be dark-skinned. They can be hostile and xenophobic. Not a problem. They CAN'T be a whole race of Superpeople living angst-ridden lives of "Oh woe is us!" taken straight out of Vampire the Masquerade...

Heh. Hot button topic. Rant over. :)
Darkwulf23 15th Feb 2012, 10:47 PM edit delete reply
At least they aren't played as the misunderstood chaotic good Drow trying to cast aside the evil elf stigma. It was cool when Drizzt did it. It stop being cool when everyone else started doing it.
Nezumi 24th Feb 2012, 12:04 PM edit delete reply
Wait, dark elves are angst-ridden? Since when?
shineyorkboy 11th Jul 2012, 6:49 AM edit delete reply
The only real drow are the ones who worship scorpions and live in jungles. They're freaking badass.
Shikome Kido Mi 19th Jan 2012, 9:07 PM edit delete reply
I made a high social skill hexblade that basically functioned as a social rogue once. He was my first evil character.

He was so extremely lawful we ended up drawing out detailed contracts for loot distribution, but as long as everyone stuck to those contracts he was party loyal (he was smart enough to realize adventurers function better in packs). Of course, people outside the party didn't have contract protection and ended up getting lied to, mugged, and robbed quite a bit.

The funny thing is those contracts ended up being so nice and clear-cut that every subsequent party that group played adopted the same loot distribution system as an equitable way to avoid squabbling, even in good and/or nonlawful parties.
Wynni 20th Jan 2012, 10:02 PM Forum Momma edit delete reply
When I play rogues, I HAVE to play a Halfling. My favorite was several incarnations of Tickleberry Brandybuck. I even found someone else who used a random Halfling name generator that used 'BrandyBuck' as his last name. We decided we must be cousins, and posted letters to each other from our travels. This is the halfling that wound up married to a ghost (totally against her will) and also somehow gaining the reputation as a necromancer. Go figure. My rogues are always in it for the adventure, loot is just a side benefit.
draco 11th Mar 2012, 3:20 AM edit delete reply
my rogue which was lvl 9 multi classed tk a lvl 2 sorcerr had (through talking a m
female mage at the mages guild) a helm of telelort. a ring of scry a ring of true strike and an amet of 5th level fire. the rest of the party hated me telelort sneak attacking monsters but the dm thought the idea ws hilarlious. because to activate my helm i had to spin around and grab my crotch like michael jacksom