Page 695 - Desert Trolley

5th Jan 2016, 5:00 AM in The Last Roundup
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Desert Trolley
Average Rating: 5 (2 votes)
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Author Notes:

Newbiespud 5th Jan 2016, 5:00 AM edit delete
If I have one New Year's resolution, it's to stop the instinct to self-sabotage my own internet "brand" (Fear of success, maybe? For reals??) that prevented things like t-shirts and Patreon rewards from ever becoming a thing.

On the other hand, 2015 was full of real-life absolute gutter-trash that had me plenty busy besides, and there's still plenty to deal with going into 2016. If there's one thing I can say about last year, it's that there was never a dull moment... for better or worse.

Notice: Guest comic submissions are open! Guidelines here. Deadline: January 27th, 2023.



ANW 5th Jan 2016, 5:16 AM edit delete reply
Have you ever had the same moment that Rarity just had?
Just playing along, then you realize one thing.
Why would my character be doing that?!!
Digo Dragon 5th Jan 2016, 5:38 AM edit delete reply
Digo Dragon
I tend to build characters that don't mind tagging along with the party if their interests aren't common, but I've seen some players have that problem.
Mykin 5th Jan 2016, 7:33 AM edit delete reply
Rusty Nails, my sub-machine gun toting earth pony (who is obviously not a Big Mac expy... he talks too much) in an alt character FO:E game, is a good-natured soul who tries his best not to kill anypony if he doesn't have to.

It wasn't until a few sessions in that I realized that Rusty probably shouldn't have been willing to help start a war between an organised raider group and two gangs. Even if the reason for doing so was to get the two gangs to finally put their differences aside and stop fighting each other so they could help protect the gang of foals that was stuck between the three groups.

The sad part is is that our GM wasn't planning on having any of this happen at all. This is entirely our doing and our doing alone. But that's part of the fun in rpgs.
Digo Dragon 5th Jan 2016, 7:47 AM edit delete reply
Digo Dragon
Reminds me of a former pony in our FO:E game-- she left the party because we were too nice for her tastes. XD
Evilbob 5th Jan 2016, 8:09 PM edit delete reply
@Mykin. Don't feel too bad. It was totally Brass's fault. She's read one too many ruined books on political intrigue.
aylatrigger 5th Jan 2016, 9:05 AM edit delete reply
My party was incorporeal, and no one in town could see or hear us. So of course we went to the tavern. We stayed long enough for another adventuring party got a hook. Of a cave of evil spirits. This being the adventure plot and roughly sounding related to our situation, we decided to follow them.

So en route, our party started getting bored. One of our party stuck a knife in the wizard's head. The wizard did not notice. So the knife was held there. The wizard started to scratch his head.

Meanwhile, some others of our party started talking at their party. Snipits of our voices started being heard. Their paladin waved it off as evil spirits. The cleric started to do that too, until one of our party members said, "I'm your god, and I don't like that you've been ignoring me. I hate you now." The cleric broke, and ran off crying. By this point the wizard was going crazy from slowly feeling a knife materialize in his brain, and he broke down. The last three party members were the paladin, the rogue, and the barbarian. The paladin resisted our voices. The barbarian was easily convinced that the paladin was his enemy, and he killed the paladin. Now our rogue had been kind of...feeling up...their rogue. As a ghost was sexually harassing/raping her, she broke down and ran....for the caves of Evil Spirits.

Eventually I realized my LG monk wouldn't be allowing all this to happen. I in character chalked it up to a late realization that we were having an effect. So after all their party members broke down and started off in their various directions, I went after the rogue in order to console/give therapy/make up for our party's actions.

It turns out that people don't like being consoled by disembodied voices. She killed herself. I was distraught.

We really were evil spirits to that party...
aylatrigger 5th Jan 2016, 9:56 AM edit delete reply
Later on in the same party we had a near-miss. We had been summoned by Ba'al, and he had offered us power in exchange for servitude. He wanted us to find all the Regalia of Evil for him, and one of our members to become his champion in wielding the Regalia.

In this version of the Regalia, the Regalia would turn any character wearing them evil, and in their own corrupting way. The Regalia were a gauntlet, a crown, and an I-forget. Ba'al had the gauntlet, but needed the two others.

So anyway, The whole party jumped at being the champions of Ba'al, and instantly switched alignments to evil. ...Except me. I figured it was against my alignment to willingly 'fall'. LG Monk and most decent of the party probably wouldn't want to become a champion of magical artifacts with 'Evil' right in the name. So I told my group that while I did not mind playing evil, there was no way my character would willingly switch alignments like that.

...So the party grabbed me, held me down, and forced the gauntlet on my hand. I switched from LG to LE...and became the most powerful member of the party, the Champion of Ba'al. Sometimes it is worth it to stick to your alignment.
ANW 5th Jan 2016, 10:42 AM edit delete reply
Whoa. Yeah. Painful.
I'll past on this group.
Specter 5th Jan 2016, 2:04 PM edit delete reply
*Spends a two hour bus ride to better word current expression, fails*

... aylatrigger, your group members sounds like they are the incarnations of evil. I really hope you (as incorporeal) can beat the ever living evil out of your group members (as they too are incorporeal).
Grant 5th Jan 2016, 11:00 AM edit delete reply
Well Rarity is trying to find a friend and ask her what's wrong. To me a car is something other people use to get in the way of a bus, but I'd venture into the depths of a repair shop if I had a friend there.
j-eagle12212012 5th Jan 2016, 11:01 AM edit delete reply
When I play any Fallout game I try to have at least 3 playthroughs a good, neutral, and evil run. This was actually necesarry in Fallout 3 to get all the games achievments (9 of which involved reaching a milestone level as good, neutral, and evil seperatly) I had the hardest time staying neutral because my natural play is to do things that raised Karma and I would have to look online to see what actions I could take to balance out the karma.
Disloyal Subject 5th Jan 2016, 12:44 PM edit delete reply
Disloyal Subject
When karma gets too high:
1) Steal everything that isn't nailed down.
2) Steal all nails.
3) GOTO 1.
Repeat until satisfied. Pickpocketing and/or murdering the Wasteland's more obnoxious inhabitants is more satisfying, but also more dangerous and less time-efficient.
Dragonflight 5th Jan 2016, 1:11 PM edit delete reply
This discussion about metagaming Karma reminds me of the old KOTOR games. In them, the old trope about "Once you start down the dark path..." was inverted. Not verbally, but it was nevertheless.

Once, I tried playing a dark-jedi playthrough of Revan. I took every darkside choice I could. Along the way, these choices were pretty awful. You had to be a real puppy-kicking, lunch-money-stealing, abusive and uncaring sadist to pick all of those choices. And no matter what you picked, the amount of evil you got was vanishingly small. It took real dedication to push the meter toward the bottom of the scale.

During that run, I decided it was still in-character for Revan to give one of his NPC lackeys a weapon upgrade to help them build a superior piece of equipment. The next time I check my karma meter, I'm all the way back up to neutral. Another, singular act of good, and I"m halfway to the top of the bar. The morality system in that game was so horribly broken, it really did sum up, "Once you start down the Light path, forever will it dominate your destiny..."
Grant 5th Jan 2016, 7:39 PM edit delete reply
Just having a karma meter to look at can be invaluable. Try getting the Neutral route in SMT IV through luck. Your window is so small and so hard to tell (plus you get forced to pick several options that really push you towards a side) that you can't really do it without a guide.
j-eagle12212012 5th Jan 2016, 3:54 PM edit delete reply
The problem for me is I tend to kill evil characters by accident, add in the New Vegas Reputation system and I find myself unable to complete quests cause the quest giver is dead or hates me
Disloyal Subject 5th Jan 2016, 12:56 PM edit delete reply
Disloyal Subject
From time to time.
Often as not, the answer to the question "Okay, what WOULD my character do in this situation?" is "USE GRENADES!"
ANW 6th Jan 2016, 8:34 AM edit delete reply
Please tell me one of those times wasn't in a bomb factory.
NimbusArchon 5th Jan 2016, 1:34 PM edit delete reply
I only really have the opportunity to play Adventurers' League games, so my characters have to stay on the railroad tracks no matter what their personal feelings are.

I need to find an ongoing game.
banjo2E 5th Jan 2016, 7:24 PM edit delete reply
I once had a situation where I realized I was about to have a moment like that, and had to jump through some serious hoops to be able to justify having my character be in the same general area as the rest of the group for the next part of the adventure.

I've forgotten most of the setting since this campaign ended up dying out after a single session when the DM had a falling out with about half of the players, but I was playing a member of an elven race which looked down on the other races to an almost cartoony extent. The campaign began with all the PCs on a boat traveling to a major city, which ended up being boarded. The DM intended this encounter to be technically level-appropriate but relatively difficult for the party, who were mostly rogues, and so chose to make the boarding party be a half-dozen skeletons. My addition to the campaign was somewhat last-minute, so he didn't have time to rescale the encounter to account for my character, and I'd chosen to play as a cleric wielding a hammer. As a result the encounter took about two turns, with my character soloing more than half of the enemies.

Most of the group stuck together when the ship arrived, in-character because they'd fought well together and had goals which aligned reasonably well, and out-of-character because keeping the party together is just common sense. However, I had no way to justify staying with them in-character - my character was on the ship more for the sake of her relatives in the city than to do the adventuring stuff the rest of the group's characters were, and even though I'd deliberately chosen to be one of the most progressive and tolerant of the racist elves, I couldn't justify staying with them since there was no way I would think they were competent at all given that it took five of them to kill two skeletons in the same amount of time that I killed four by myself.

The DM and I eventually managed to contrive a reason for me to meet back up with the group (basically, my family gave me a mission to take care of the same problem the rest of the group was hired to help with) but the session ended shortly after that and there was no follow-up session since the DM left and the group ended up dissolving without him. It's a shame, I remember being really happy with that character at the time.
Blyndpwn 6th Jan 2016, 3:40 PM edit delete reply
I'm currently playing a campaign where I play a Nth Dimensional sorcerer (The DM asked all the players for a One Unique Thing, and being the semi-functional lunatic I am I picked, "Extra Dimensional being that got stuffed into a 3 dimensional suit." I'm pretty much human, but my first language isn't common, and my familiar is a Slithy Tove) and our last mission took us into a haunted house. We barely make it past the first fight when our Ranger, the closest thing we have to a front line fighter (the other two members of the party are a rogue and a bard) decides to explore off on his own, and the rest of us find the Big Bad, twice. Somehow I end up being the guy taking the most hits, and sometime between the 80 and 90 percent HP lost mark I, in character, look around at the amazing lack of survival instinct at the table and say, "Why do I hang out with you?"
CaptRory 6th Jan 2016, 8:10 PM edit delete reply
Not really in the moment; I figure my character is at least as capable of being swept up in events as I am. Sometimes I have a hard time justifying my character going along with some things if there's time to think about it. At those times it's side quest stuff like, my character doesn't know this person and has no craft skills so it's unlikely they'd even know they needed help with their damaged home unless a party member asks my character to get involved.
GrayGriffin 5th Jan 2016, 5:17 AM edit delete reply
Ah, vehicles. Our rogue still refuses to ride in, or even stand close to, our boatwagon.
Digo Dragon 5th Jan 2016, 5:42 AM edit delete reply
Digo Dragon
Hoping things turn around for the better, Spud. You have support from us (I wouldn't mind a 'I'm t-shirt quotable' shirt). I'm sure you can network a little to expand your brand. ^^
Mykin 5th Jan 2016, 9:34 AM edit delete reply
... That reminds me, I do need to get around to finishing that one project of mine. Curse my procrastinating ways!

Anyway, I'd love a shirt that simply said "I'm t-shirt quotable" on it. It's the kind of random humor that I usually go for in my casual attire. ^_^
Toric 5th Jan 2016, 6:37 AM edit delete reply
Worst curse you can get: may you live in interesting times. Here's to a better year for you Spud.
Digo Dragon 5th Jan 2016, 7:48 AM edit delete reply
Digo Dragon
I dunno, I think the worst curse was the one my mom gave me-- "I hope you have a child that turns out just like you."

She's regretting that one. XD
Disloyal Subject 5th Jan 2016, 12:46 PM edit delete reply
Disloyal Subject
Congrats. As much as I'm looking forward to loosing tiny terrors in their grandparents, I'm in no hurry to spawn them, so I take my satisfaction from others' children's awesomeness.
Anonymous 5th Jan 2016, 6:38 AM edit delete reply
At least rarity didn't just hop on the bandwagon because she wanted to. Oh, wait, she did. XD Looks like this campaign might be a little off the rails. Any more puns I might use are going to wait for raxon. He has a sense of humor like deadpool.
Demonu 5th Jan 2016, 7:39 AM edit delete reply
My Christmas miracle has carried over into my New Year's resolution but it will have to wait until at least after the 12th of January.

What am I talking about?
I finally managed to find a schedule that would work for a group of my players. They are a lean, mean assertive roleplaying machine. And there are five of them. It's the dawn of a new adventure.
Five Fathers EP2: The DM Strikes Back.
And this time, they are getting on the boat.

(character descriptions will follow once I receive them)
Tatsurou 5th Jan 2016, 12:45 PM edit delete reply
More of the Five Fathers group?

Guest 5th Jan 2016, 8:07 PM edit delete reply
Raxon 5th Jan 2016, 10:40 AM edit delete reply
Spud, if it helps, I'm willing to step up and provide the same quality posting as my dragons story.
Demonu 5th Jan 2016, 11:01 AM edit delete reply
The dragons story?
Tatsurou 5th Jan 2016, 12:45 PM edit delete reply
I think he means the one where Raxon sold China a dragon as a bioweapon...only for the whole thing to massively backfire on China.
Demonu 5th Jan 2016, 12:47 PM edit delete reply
I believe I must have missed that. Sounds like a jolly good laugh though.
Pablo360 5th Jan 2016, 1:10 PM edit delete reply
You forgot about the moon.
Disloyal Subject 5th Jan 2016, 12:47 PM edit delete reply
Disloyal Subject
I believe that's the one where everyone's favorite level 60 Monk/Wizard/Sorceror sells a dragon to China. And another dragon. And it escalated from there.

edit: beaten to the punch by Tatsurou.
Raxon 5th Jan 2016, 8:46 PM edit delete reply
That's the one. The whole thing made a bit of a stir, and Rax got rebooted to be... Not so insanely powerful.

Also, sane. As sane as a wizard gets, anyway.

Here's the story, Demonu.

Also, monk/bard/wizard. Yeah, he was horribly, horribly optimized. Powerful, but definitely something that would make the powergamer in your party sad. Still, he was pretty damn well rounded. Other than his lack of survival skills. And stealth. And barter. And he was... Not great for melee combat.

I should also mention that, while not evil, he was still kind of a huuuge asshole to China. Dude was from a world where grimms fairy tales were considered too coddling for children.
aerion111 6th Jan 2016, 12:24 AM edit delete reply
"Dude was from a world where grimms fairy tales were considered too coddling for children."
So... Our world?
The Grimms fairy tales, as far as I understand, were cleaned up at least a little bit.
Not as much as non-Grimm fairy tales, but still, they at least cut out some needless gore and such.
Raxon 6th Jan 2016, 11:16 AM edit delete reply
No, I mean the original fairy tales.

On his world, they had a story about the child who played with goblins and watched his family die by his own hand as he screams in agony.

Or the cautionary tale about the elves who go around cutting off the faces of anyone who thinks their beauty is on par with the elves.

Neither of these is even an exagerration.
Winged Cat 5th Jan 2016, 2:26 PM edit delete reply
...did the GM really just put that cart before the ponies?
Guest 5th Jan 2016, 8:06 PM edit delete reply
Good observation. Well done.