Page 732 - Paragon Til Death

31st Mar 2016, 6:00 AM in Intermission 7
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Paragon Til Death
Average Rating: 5 (1 votes)
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Author Notes:

Newbiespud 31st Mar 2016, 6:00 AM edit delete
Author: RandomRex6

Guest Author's Note: "I have no idea if I guessed any of these correctly, I just went through some overviews of Paragon Paths, and turned my actual reactions into this comic.

"While I'm here, I might as well put in a shameless plug for my Naruto Campaign Comic: [url][/url]

"It's nowhere near as good as Friendship is Dragons, but any readership is appreciated."

Notice: Guest comic submissions are open! Guidelines here. Deadline: January 27th, 2023.



Digo Dragon 31st Mar 2016, 6:08 AM edit delete reply
Digo Dragon
Questions about weapons do come up in my D&D pony games. Most of them are about how ponies wield them, to which I counter not to sweat little details like that. :D

Mykin 31st Mar 2016, 7:37 AM edit delete reply
This was something I never actually thought about until I started writing and tried to imagine a few combat encounters in my head. I've gotten in the habit of being vague on the little details when it comes to those because, unless it's a unicorn, trying to figure out how a pony could use a dagger to tackle something larger than it without it sounding silly is just plain hard. Thankfully, guns are easier to deal with or I would have given up a long time ago.
Guest 31st Mar 2016, 7:43 AM edit delete reply
A pony could hold a dagger in his/her mouth, or is that what you meant by silly?
Mykin 31st Mar 2016, 8:04 AM edit delete reply
More or less. Holding weapons in their mouth really isn't the issue. It's just that your head can really only move in certain ways. A lot of interesting sword movements get thrown out the window when you realize that it can't be comfortably done with one's head without snapping one's neck in the process. I know there's an amount of suspension of disbelief involved when we're dealing with ponies, but you can only stretch it so far before it breaks. For me, it requires a bit of out of the box thinking in order to actually make melee fighting feel right and I end up glossing over it in an attempt to not give myself a headache.

Of course, I'm writing an FO:E fic so thankfully most of the fighting is done with guns. It's just the one or two times I have to deal with close range combat that I start running into issues. But I'll freely admit that I'm probably overthinking things a bit, as I tend to do with stuff like this.
Evilbob 31st Mar 2016, 1:59 PM edit delete reply
lol. I've always thought about the swordfighting with mouths akin to barely in-control sword-"throwing". eg, you swivel it by momentarily loosening orbicularis oris's grip of the sword handle, while maintaining tension with the masseter and pterygoid muscles. Since the teeth has less surface area and less friction, this would effectively allow the blade to swivel.

So if you're not an experienced mouth-user of blades, an attempt of this basic maneuver would basically send the blade flying tangentially to where you let go.
MistTheElf 31st Mar 2016, 9:18 PM edit delete reply
Actually Digo, my dungeon master has a wonderful explanation.

The weapons are enchated when made, to appear and disappear into something worn around the front hooves of a pony.

My dex based pegasus fighter's dual swords are stored in think bracelets on her front legs.
That link is to a picture of her, although without her lovely mithral plate armour.

Gotta love magic items. (She has a 13 strength :p)
NexAngelus405 31st Mar 2016, 7:39 AM edit delete reply
Fallout: Equestria does a good job of figuring that out. Also I figured out a way for ponies to wield a bow and arrow: Have the bow mounted on a wristband worn on a foreleg and a pony can draw the bow with their mouth with said foreleg raised toward the target. It would only work with a shortbow though since they would need more room to draw a longbow back far enough to actually shoot the arrow any meaningful distance. Longbows would need to be mounted on a platform like how it was with the ice archery competition in the Equestria Games to be of any use to a pony.
Digo Dragon 31st Mar 2016, 8:16 AM edit delete reply
Digo Dragon
For swords, I came up with the idea of a leg-mounted device like the hidden daggers in Assassin's Creed. Could probably get as much as a shortsword that way. Longer blades might be strapped to a leg, but would be difficult to walk with until you remove them.

But in the show itself we've seen Applejack lift sticks, food, and chairs with one hoof, so apparently earth ponies have magic in their hooves that let them grab things without fingers. Maybe like a tactile version of a unicorn's telekinesis magic?
Jorlem 1st Apr 2016, 3:37 PM edit delete reply
We've seen Pinkie, AJ, and Applebloom manipulate stuff with their tails, so why not use that?
Winged Cat 31st Mar 2016, 10:46 AM edit delete reply
I had a pegasus who was building back-mounted crossbows. Reload with tail; release safety, aim, and fire with neck/head motions (after pointing body in the right general direction). Wings to stabilize, though in theory earth ponies and unicorns with good enough balance could use it too. This was heavy ordinance, though: the kind of crossbow bolts you'd fire at full-grown dragons.
SRP 31st Mar 2016, 11:52 PM edit delete reply
Considering what Rarity does with her hooves, I don't think that it is restricted to earth ponies alone.
Kynrasian 31st Mar 2016, 10:25 AM edit delete reply
They wield them through the magic of suspension of disbelief ;p
Winged Cat 31st Mar 2016, 10:41 AM edit delete reply
I've seen a fan theory that the pad of a pony's hoof is made of little muscular beads that can flatten out and be tough enough to walk on, but are also able to articulate to some extent. Not as good as fingers, but good enough to hold a single tool (such as a pen). More details at this link.

It does seem to explain what we've seen them do with hooves. Of course, it means they're three-footed while doing this (though experienced wielders would have practiced enough to not be awkward at it: if it's what you do, it's what you do), and have trouble with "two handed" weapons unless they're standing still (or flying, or just standing still with respect to the vehicle they're on).
Digo Dragon 31st Mar 2016, 11:00 AM edit delete reply
Digo Dragon
I've seen real horses rear up and "walk" on their hind legs. It's every bit as awkward-looking as one would imagine.
LegendofMoriad 31st Mar 2016, 6:10 PM Long weapons edit delete reply
The one pony I've actually played, making use of the Ponyfinder ruleset, has a reasonable method of wielding a weapon. She's a Titan Fighter, so she wields a Large weapon. Now, I have two weapons, both 8 feet long: a collapsible Nodachi, and a mundane Oar. Most fights have started with her charging in and clothes-lining an enemy. This has generally been rather hazardous to their health. As long as she's careful about where she stands, it only takes a little bit of neck motion to make a reasonable swing.

Anyone else using non-standard weapon types to get around the physical oddities of our beloved quadrupeds?
Greenhornet 31st Mar 2016, 6:57 PM edit delete reply
"Horseshoes Of Returning". Pony can throw two per round for damage equal to kicking. Weapon returns next round.
I thought of this while watching Apple Jack and Rainbow Dash pitching horseshoes in an episode.
albedoequals1 31st Mar 2016, 7:04 PM edit delete reply
Here's how I deal with weapons
The Old One 31st Mar 2016, 8:10 PM edit delete reply
Jousting lances seem to be built into the armor (the jousting event in the season 3 premier) so something like that. Otherwise I'd assume some kind of hoof reinforcement would suffice (like really big brass knuckles)
Benderman155 1st Apr 2016, 4:14 AM edit delete reply
My DM just said ponies have a magnetic grip on their hooves that allow them to carry objects
Freelance 2nd Apr 2016, 4:35 AM edit delete reply
Makes sense; that'd be how they could bowl. Or hold a bow for a cello. Or just play a trombone. MLP world ponies seem to have some sort of tactile telekinesis going on.
Dragonflight 4th Apr 2016, 12:12 AM edit delete reply
I like the Ponyfinder explanation. Earth and Pegasus ponies have a variant on Tactile Telekinesis in addition to their other abilities. It's the only obvious magical power they have, but it dovetails nicely with Unicorns in that it demonstrates HOW they are so different from garden variety ponies and horses.
Freelance 4th Apr 2016, 3:42 AM edit delete reply
Except that we've also seen unicorns have a similar sort of handi--, err, hoofiness in episodes as well, so they have access to it as well, not just pegesi and earth ponies.
j-eagle12212012 31st Mar 2016, 6:29 AM edit delete reply
The Mostly Spoiler Free Review
Season 6 Episodes 1 & 2 the Crystaling

Season 6 starts off with Starlight Glimmer sporting a new mane style
And She is Twilight's student
(some people might not be happy about it but I for one am glad that Starlight was added to the group)

The theme added two things
Starlight Glimmer and the CMC with their cutiemarks

So the point of the episodes was split between two plot points

Plot point one Cadance and Shining Armors baby and a ritual that hasn't been done in centuries, also the baby is the first Alicorn to be born ever (according to the princesses)

Plot point two Starlight x Spike shipping.....
Ok, actually it's Starlight doing her first friendship lesson

Now season 6 should be interesting and its great to have pony back.

Um did anyone else see that?
was that a changeling?
The last scene before the credits roll. That thing in the background flying twords the crystal empire.

Anyway onto episode 3

JurriRig (Hitbox)
Jamie (IRL)
Winged Cat 31st Mar 2016, 10:54 AM edit delete reply
You mean the storm clouds, being the storm Twilight was talking about?
albedoequals1 31st Mar 2016, 7:16 PM edit delete reply
I was one of those people that disapproved of adding Starlight to the main cast. However, in this particular episode, she and Spike (and the guest star) carried the whole story. Everyone else was a robot.

Starlight is actually pretty cool, I just don't like how they got there.
The Old One 31st Mar 2016, 8:04 PM edit delete reply
Sunburst and Flurryheart are going to become Starswirl and Celestia. The little ali-doombringer is gonna have a epic magic fit and port the both of them into the past. It'll be the season finale, maybe even the series finale.

Calling it now. Place your bets
EEK 31st Mar 2016, 9:30 PM edit delete reply
Am I the only one who really hates the baby's color scheme, I mean to the point of serious distraction.
Digo Dragon 1st Apr 2016, 4:08 AM edit delete reply
Digo Dragon
I'm not really a fan of it myself. Nor of Starlight's color scheme.
Dusk Raven 2nd Apr 2016, 1:41 PM edit delete reply
Surprisingly enough, I liked Starlight ever since the Season 5 finale, and not just because I think she's even more of a magical prodigy than Twilight is. So when she was added to the group, I was like, "I am 100% okay with this."
Princess Columbia 31st Mar 2016, 6:32 AM I'm with Dash on this one... edit delete reply
What the deuce does "need" have to do with weapon choice, especially for obvious "fighter" classes like verses or warriors? That's like saying a mage "needs" a particular set of spells, or a rogue "needs" a particular tool kit to be a rogue.

It's not the choice of weapons that make a character's class, it's what that character fits with the weapon.

This loss of distinction from the GM, as with other incidents, is leading me to believe the GM character is far more the "fool" character archetype than Pinkie Pie ever was.
Luminous Lead 31st Mar 2016, 6:43 AM edit delete reply
Paragon Paths are a bit like prestige classes from 3.5. If you choose one you're going for a particular asthetic. Wizard of the Spiral Tower seems to be based on Gandalf of The Lord of the Rings (who dual-wieled a staff and longsword) and they follow some eldarin traditions, wielding an enchanted longsword. A character not proficient with the very badge of office of their particular path might end up looking super silly.
aerion111 31st Mar 2016, 12:29 PM edit delete reply
'Need' matters because presumably they'd get very little benefit from a weapon when they clearly can fight just fine with their hooves.
Maybe a weapon would boost their damage or something, but they'd probably lose access to unarmed-only traits or feats they apparently have (given, again, they fight just fine barehooved)

The GM's doing it right; If no one benefits from a sword, then throwing it in would just mean it becomes vendor trash.
Not everything needs to be useful, but the rest should generally be either in the form of trade-goods (or outright currency) or be interesting 'knick knacks' (rings of climbing, non-healing potions, feather-tokens, and so on)
ANW 31st Mar 2016, 7:12 AM edit delete reply
You are trapped in a room with 1000 monsters.
If you go guns a blazing, spell weaving, or sword swinging, you will die.
If you could get it down to 10, you know can win.
They are somewhat weak to suggestions.
You can't tell them upfront to attack or kill each other.
In one or two statements, what do you say to reduce the numbers?
ANW 31st Mar 2016, 7:16 AM edit delete reply
Hey, I heard that the monster next to you say that your great grandfather was a human lover. Are you going to stand and take that?
Specter 31st Mar 2016, 7:23 AM edit delete reply
"I am guaranteed to die today, but only one of you can claim the kill. If you can give me this final honor, at least tell me whom will take my head."

1000:1 says I die.
Toric 31st Mar 2016, 7:30 AM edit delete reply
I brought presents for my opponents, as is tradition, but I didn't bring enough for all of you...
Digo Dragon 31st Mar 2016, 8:27 AM edit delete reply
Digo Dragon
I remove the breathable air from the room. I know this works because I've successfully done it twice. :D

Once with a wizard who trapped himself in an air-tight forcecage and vacuuming out the air in the room, and the other time by The Great and Powerful Trixie who gassed an interrogation room and managed to outlast a squad of armed 25th century Starfleet security personnel.

Redshirts couldn't hit the broadside of a bright blue unicorn.
Malroth 31st Mar 2016, 8:36 AM edit delete reply
How much are you guys being paid for this? You Really think Overlord Mc Evilbad will actually go through with his promises do you? Tell you what Help me overthow him and we'll split everything in his treasury.
ANW 31st Mar 2016, 9:01 AM edit delete reply
That was 3 statements, I only gave you two.
Digo Dragon 31st Mar 2016, 11:01 AM edit delete reply
Digo Dragon
Hey, for a split of the treasury, I'll overlook that detail. so where do we start overthrowing? ;)
Archone 31st Mar 2016, 10:18 AM edit delete reply
I've tried playing a merchant type character a few times (first time the GM decided to base everything on Dark Souls and require us to spend XP like "souls" instead of gold - then panicked when I pointed out that that meant my alchemist could sell potions and level up FAST; second time the GM drifted away and the game fell apart; third attempt is still going strong and we just hit level 6). So my statements would likely be:

"You guys look HUNGRY, not evil. How about I hire the lot of you to come work for me and then you'll never go hungry again?"
Winged Cat 31st Mar 2016, 10:58 AM edit delete reply
"Let's bust out of here and get the one who trapped us!"

Monsters are not always enemies. Though if it's a room strong enough to contain 1000 monsters (with or without me), the monsters may whittle themselves down breaking out.
aerion111 31st Mar 2016, 12:35 PM edit delete reply
Simplest solution, given no inherent hostility was specified, seems to be:
"I don't have any quarrel with you lot." + "I am willing to be of assistance, if it gets me out of here"
Really, without any inherent conflict, chances are they'd only be attacking to either protect themselves or to attempt to extort some 'payment' for leaving me alone.
Greenhornet 31st Mar 2016, 7:05 PM edit delete reply
Pff! I'd just keep out of their way for a while.
A thousand idiots packed in a room would get in each others' way and bump off a lot of the others. Most of them wouldn't even know that there was an intruder; all they would know was that several of the others started a free-for-all and would attack them.
Whoever's left would be tired and wounded, easy pickings.
albedoequals1 31st Mar 2016, 7:26 PM edit delete reply
"Nobody move! I dropped my invisible sphere of annihilation and don't know where it went!"
Someone 1st Apr 2016, 5:06 AM edit delete reply
No statements needed.
I'd just stand there, looking smugly and doing a whole lotta nothing, until they flee in panic.
Classic Steve 31st Mar 2016, 8:17 AM edit delete reply
The last panel reminds me of gun control debates, where one side asks, "What law-abiding reason would you have to need this?" and this other side replies, "We don't need to give you a reason; it's our enshrined right!"
Truly Mad Moves 31st Mar 2016, 11:37 AM edit delete reply
Truly Mad Moves
Quick 4E question: I've always assumed that "ability modifier" always means "ability modifier plus one-half level" but suddenly I'm not so sure... are there any instances where that's not the case? My campaign is finally picking up steam and, having never played a game past level 1, I'm suddenly more freaked out than ever about screwing things up.
Kynrasian 31st Mar 2016, 1:31 PM edit delete reply
If it wants you to add anything other than the ability modifier it will say so.

Ability modifier is +1 for every two points into an ability score. At ability score 10 your ability modifier is +0, at 12 it's +1, 14 is +2, and so on. If you go below ability score 10 the modifier goes negative following the same pattern.

I don't know if you knew that but there it is just in case.
Truly Mad Moves 31st Mar 2016, 8:33 PM edit delete reply
Truly Mad Moves
So... any time it doesn't specifically say "plus one-half level", that's it? I guess that seems fair. The only things that don't say that are the little extra stuffs that powers provide... right?

So, ability checks, skill checks, defenses, attack rolls, and damage rolls - those all use the one-half level addition, while extra features like how many squares you shift or how many temp HP you gain from certain powers, those don't unless they say so? I guess that makes sense, seeing as some powers actually DO say that.

It came up because I was thinking, whoa, if the half-level applied to every modifier, that would add up to a LOT of healing surges per day. Not so, then?
aerion111 31st Mar 2016, 10:32 PM edit delete reply
Yeah, no extra Healing Surges it seems.
But they do get more powerful (duh :P) and there are several ways to get a few more as you get levels (if you're the right class and/or going down the right feats)
Edgewalker 31st Mar 2016, 2:45 PM edit delete reply
My GM never wants me to play any kind of crafter or salesman ever again, not since I exploited the magic item rules to craft super cheap custom gloves for my artificer (By adding all the optional negative restrictions, can only be used by him, requires his specific alignment and race etc.) and then only adding the cheapest bonus (skill bonus to use magic item). You can see where this is going... =p
aerion111 31st Mar 2016, 4:12 PM edit delete reply
That's why usually the magic item rules specify they're 'guidelines'
I'd certainly never allow 'restrictions' on anything I don't expect them to want to share - but I am quite aware of them as significant discounts.

I did manage to design some gloves that'd make every weapon you wield a magic weapon (scale-able from +1 to +5)
And if you specialize in making misc magic objects, the gloves cost about the same as the same tier of magic weapon would cost in the store.
Ultimately, though, it's more about 'flavor' than use.
It's great for improvised-weapon people (+3 table-legs are fun :P), or those who throw their weapons, but mostly it's just a way to make your own magic weapon without specializing in weapons (so you can still make feather tokens and such)
PoisonFrog 1st Apr 2016, 7:37 AM edit delete reply
I did find a very cool weapon that I certainly didn't need once: the sacred longbow of the setting's (Chaotic Good) god of music, a weapon that had been missing for some time. Unfortunately for them, my character was a Neutral Evil Shadowdancer and a follower of the setting's (also Neutral Evil) goddess of darkness. Between my character lacking a proficiency with longbows and the fact that his goddess was explicitly stated to absolutely LOATHE the god the bow belonged to, I just tithed it directly to her and then watched the 'good guys' keep searching for the thing for MONTHS afterwards.
Specter 2nd Apr 2016, 12:02 AM edit delete reply
It's finally over, and only now do I feel comfortable being on the internet. I know this is of my own opinion, but I have reasons to not like 4/1. This showed up at 4 in the morning when I got up. I hope you enjoy it more then I.
Euric 2nd Apr 2016, 5:51 AM edit delete reply
Woah, never woken up before the update before.