Page 74 - Drawing Aggro

26th Jan 2012, 5:00 AM in Friendship is Magic, Part 2
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Drawing Aggro
Average Rating: 5 (3 votes)
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Author Notes:

Newbiespud 26th Jan 2012, 5:00 AM edit delete
Story time!

Tell a story about taunting and provocation. Instead of trying to talk a character down diplomatically, tell a story about trying to rile a character up.

Notice: Guest comic submissions are open! Guidelines here. Deadline: January 27th, 2023.



Kaleopolitus 26th Jan 2012, 5:31 AM edit delete reply
Oooh, seems I don't have to this time around since newbiespud already did :D
Anthonox 26th Jan 2012, 5:36 AM edit delete reply
Pretty much constantly. Games really need a more mechanical way to pull this off, like an alternate use of Intimidate or something, or like the Taunt skill from the Neverwinter Nights.
Colin 26th Jan 2012, 6:28 AM edit delete reply
That might be an idea... Have your evil party be the polar opposite of the good guys in the setting, with inverted/twisted skills.

Diplomacy? Taunt.
Knowledge:Nature? Exploitation:Nature.
Athletics? Dirty Tricks.
Snorlax 26th Jan 2012, 6:36 AM edit delete reply
Maybe Athletics=Dirty Fighting instead? Persuade=Blackmail
KFDirector 26th Jan 2012, 7:11 AM edit delete reply
Wait, deliberately? It's happened by accident plenty of times....

And when it happens deliberately, it was always because the PCs and the DM had completely different understandings of the situation and didn't read the encounter properly.

I COULD fault my players for talking a Great Wyrm Tien Lung into attacking them when they could have had it move on without even rolling Bluff, (which was an even worse move than the time the Paladin said, in character, "roll initiative" to a being I had introduced as "EVIL SPACE LORD XENU", caps in original)...

...but on the other hand, when I was a PC, I was once talked a self-proclaimed god, sitting on his throne in his heaven, into making the first move. I honestly just thought he was a con artist. 40d6 damage to a 9th level character later, I began to comprehend my error.
Ranubis 26th Jan 2012, 7:54 AM edit delete reply
Well, our group has recently started a new campaign. After our party is sent to settle a dispute between a human town and the nearby elves, we spoke with the human leader, who was just so thankful for our assistance that she gave us a... wait for it... healing potion!

Yes. One whole healing potion to a party with two healers.

Half our group had to restrain the Minotaur fighter from throwing it in her face.
Cain 26th Jan 2012, 6:27 PM edit delete reply
Yes, even the racist Eldarin was helping restrain him.
Rugsrat 27th Jan 2012, 5:29 AM edit delete reply
Are you currently running through the newest season of 4e encounters? Because that's exactly how that starts.

Our group has since abandoned the module completely and started playing a homebrew campaign instead.
Ranubis 27th Jan 2012, 2:32 PM edit delete reply
Yeah, we're doing the new encounter. Looks promising as a good entry point for our new players.
Rugsrat 27th Jan 2012, 7:11 PM edit delete reply
As a launching point for new players it's fine. If you have any actual experience with the game however... maybe not so much.
Cain 28th Jan 2012, 4:02 PM edit delete reply
You mean due to the fact that it's more puzzle based? I think it will allow for more RP chances. And more humor provided by the minotaur.
Jugo the vampire 26th Nov 2012, 3:18 PM Our last shadow run rage. edit delete reply
We were on the last mission of our shadow run campaign the Gm thought we could meet next week for the finale instalment but we had discovered we were all too busy so instead of talking to the Extremely friendly south american villagers who were little more than a warm up for next week we slaughtered a more or less peacfull but well armed village to satisfy our need for a good ending. To our credit we didn't open fire immediatly we just intentionally failed the role played negotiations no rolls were required untill we started to try and intimadate them. Then we insulted them then we all started shooting.
Pastshelfdate 1st Sep 2013, 7:44 PM I know it's roleplaying, but ... edit delete reply
That would put me on guard with your group of players in real life. I'd reserve judgment, but I'd be very watchful, and not be trusting.
theguyindarkglasses 26th Jan 2012, 8:04 AM edit delete reply
once, a wild woods spirit got angered by the druid, the player always played fighting classes, so a druid wasn't his strong point. i think everyone gets how that ended
Lycanthromancer 26th Jan 2012, 3:13 PM edit delete reply
His bear ate the spirit's face?

Because bears are good for that (and in 3.5 an animal companion can outperform entire other classes, including the fighter and the monk).
legomaster00156 27th Jan 2012, 7:38 PM edit delete reply
Something is wrong if you CAN'T outperform the 3.5 Fighter or Monk.
Keairan 28th Jan 2012, 12:06 AM edit delete reply
Or you're playing a paladin or samurai (pre-rhonin, of course)
DiceArt 28th Jan 2012, 3:38 PM edit delete reply
Then obviously you don't know who to build either a proper 3.5 fighter. Fighters can out perform paladins, monks, and barbarians if built right it's all in the feats you chose. With a proper feat path chosen a high level fighter can take on almost anything.
witty name goes here 1st Nov 2012, 9:35 PM edit delete reply
ah, but optimization ruins the fun. I prefer to make a character so out of whack that a maxxed level character can't beat a level one character. While using epic-level weaponry, and the level 1 is unarmed.
Bronymous 26th Jan 2012, 9:13 AM edit delete reply
I can't honestly think of any situation where my party has deliberately taunted someone into combat. I know it has to have happened at least once, but nothing noteworthy comes to mind.

Mostly if we want to fight someone, it starts with someone being set on fire.
Panoptes 26th Jan 2012, 10:24 AM edit delete reply
As long as it's the enemy getting set on fire, that is the best way to start a fight. Voice of experience here, people.
kriss1989 26th Jan 2012, 12:59 PM kriss1989 edit delete reply
Or set the Dwarf on fire. It's going to happen anyway.
Kiana 27th Jan 2012, 11:53 AM edit delete reply
Fire resistant armor + lantern oil + torch = The most frightening and dangerous dwarf ever!

Just imagine him going "I AM FIRE PROOOOOOF!" in Heavy Weapons Guy's voice, for added fun.
Nezumi 25th Feb 2012, 8:16 AM edit delete reply
Bronymous 27th Jan 2012, 10:32 PM edit delete reply
Now that you mention it, the guys I light up have an annoying habit of being Party members, either at that moment or sometime in the future.
Its happened at least three times.
Genktarov 12th Nov 2014, 10:13 AM edit delete reply
Once, our barbarian fighter thought it would be a brilliant idea to charge attack right in between to grecks. He was knocked unconscious instantly after doing no damage because of damage reduction. One of the grecks grabs him and starts dragging him off to eat him.

Our solution? Have the rest of the party distract one while the Dwarven cleric runs down the passage and napalms the whole area with an arcane fire grenade.

That's when I learned random things like fire protection are extremely useful.
terrycloth 26th Jan 2012, 10:42 AM edit delete reply
One of the first D+D games I played after moving to Seattle, we were running a module that involved infiltrating a city of evil to find the Tomb of Horrors. It turned out that it had been turned into a sort of Dark Hogwarts, and various people were trying different things to get inside -- schmoozing with the staff, applying for entry, sneaking around -- nobody in our good-aligned party wanted to be the ones to strike the first blow in a 'city of evil' that so far had been completely non-hostile.

We ended up camping overnight on the 'porch of evil' as we called it. No one bothered us. The campaign was turning into a complete farce.

The next day a naga who slithered up and offered us a way inside, and all we'd have to do was --

At this point one of the mages in the party interrupted. "Excuse me, but I have a question. Do nagas have an ass?"

Naga: "What?"

Mage: "I just want to know, do you have an ass?"

The whole group burst into laughter, and this successfully riled up the GM to the point where he cancelled the campaign on the spot.
Kiana 26th Jan 2012, 1:12 PM edit delete reply
Cancelled the campaign? Jeez, overreact much?
Kaleopolitus 26th Jan 2012, 3:15 PM edit delete reply
I wasn't going to say it, but yeah...
Kiana 27th Jan 2012, 11:59 AM edit delete reply
Naga: "Gold piece of everyone that doesn't interfere. *commence crushing the mage*"

Or have the naga be a spell caster and cast polymorph or something, depending on level.

Though I do feel I should point out that 'evil' doesn't necessarily mean 'battle crazed, berserker psychopath'... Still, in a city of evil, you should at least get MUGGED once in a while.
terrycloth 27th Jan 2012, 1:16 PM edit delete reply
It was really not going well. We'd try something, fail, and then instead of having to pay for it with our lives or whatever we'd get ejected peacefully. To the point where in an attempt to goad them into action we literally set up camp on their front porch and slept the night, with tents and everything. And they didn't do anything. I mean, even in a good city we'd have been arrested for that!

So basically it was the last straw of 'disrespect' for the GM I think.

Ironically, the next line from the mage was going to be 'because I want to know where to aim when I kick it' -- he was finally going to actually attack which might have gotten things moving again. I didn't find out about that until years later though.
Kiana 27th Jan 2012, 1:24 PM edit delete reply
Then your DM was terrible. =|
Bronymous 27th Jan 2012, 10:37 PM edit delete reply
A whole city of targets of the opposite alignment that refuse to hurt you? Sounds like free XP to me. You don't even have to feel bad about it; Slaughter the town and get a Paladin to sanction it as "for the greater good", and help yourselves to the pickings.

Though, yeah, i can see how cancelling the campaign would throw a wrench in that plan pretty quick.
Chakat Firepaw 28th Jan 2012, 10:06 AM edit delete reply
A pally doing that would be on a very short trip to ex-Paladin status.

'Opposing alignment' is not the same thing as 'enemy that can be attacked on sight', nor is 'he was evil' a defense for murder.
Nezumi 25th Feb 2012, 8:19 AM edit delete reply
Funny how people have a hard time grasping that.
Guest 22nd May 2013, 12:23 AM edit delete reply
Why would you want to know
unless nagas were on your "Species to get some tail" list
Charon 26th Jan 2012, 11:12 AM edit delete reply
That did happen once, in a game. Our party was facing the main villain of the moment, a vampire, who decided to provoke our warrior into an attack, figuring the sudden fight would work to his advantage since none of us were prepared for a fight but he was.
Our warrior attacked him, and rolled three 20s in a row, which is considered an instant kill in our house rules.
Ponyling 26th Jan 2012, 11:15 AM edit delete reply
I just had my 7 charisma dwarfven rogue do it my role playing out the big pig scene from the lion king to a group of orcs and constructs, luring them to a wooden and vine bridge (never underestimate the value of the run feat) One wand of fireballs later, and the party was no longer mocking me for combat ineffectiveness (the campaign had been undead and construct intensive....rogues do not like that)
DeadManSleeping 26th Jan 2012, 11:49 AM edit delete reply
Exalted campaign. My combat-useless character was sitting by as our party battled a dreadful deathknight. This was one mean mother, and seemed well-equipped to deal with our fairy. However, while I couldn't actually hit her, I could taunt her.

Long story short, she used the last action she got to attack me instead of maybe finishing off the fairy. And one of our party members just blocked her attack. She had to run away.

Of course, I regret it a bit now because the fairy brutally murders everything I try to make nice to, but still.
Nezumi 13th Feb 2012, 2:42 PM edit delete reply
Erm... what? Someone's... not actually playing an Exalted Fair Folk right. They're basically living stories. Very few stories of worth consist entirely of "And then the Raksha randomly killed this guy."
Urthdigger 26th Jan 2012, 12:23 PM edit delete reply
In a D&D campaign I was in, my wizard had a talking weasel familiar. The ability to rile someone up was his defining trait, and he often worked contrary to our party's cleric diplomancer.

In one occasion, we were up against a doppelganger who did her homework. Our diplomancer tried to catch her in a contradiction or lie, but nothing was working. So, my weasel started insulting the doppelganger, and every time someone called him out on being uncouth he'd just respond to the effect of "Eh, I'm just a weasel, what should I know?" The doppelganger barely lasted 5 minutes before wanting to tear him open... which worked as the proof we needed that she was, in fact, the doppelganger all along.
kriss1989 26th Jan 2012, 12:49 PM kriss1989 edit delete reply
I have a character in a superhero game where this is his main schtick. Mostly for distractions, 'focus on me not the wounded ally/civilians', general mocking, and making people so angry they make mistakes or let information slip.

The most epic was when I ridiculed a stereotypical plan so hard I made the villain break down into tears! He surrendered and sought therapy both for his mania and for the mental trauma of my taunting. He has since repented, reformed, recovered, and now runs an animal shelter.

My character has been described as 'Zoro meets Spider-man with a Troll-face while riding a flying motorcycle'.
Comrade-Dan 27th Jan 2012, 5:24 PM edit delete reply
I just made an account to say that I think I love you.
Rugsrat 26th Jan 2012, 1:11 PM edit delete reply
I don't think I've ever really tried to rile up a villain... but I HAVE tried to rile up my character's boss.

Superhero game, and the first session, after thoroughly kicking the butts of some thugs (like ya do) our characters had been detained by a pseudo-government/pseudo-cop kinda guy with a missing right arm who blackmailed us into becoming a superhero team.

So, being forced to work for this guy (despite trying to RP our way out of it) we decided to make his life hell. Mostly by asking to shake his hand.
Akouma 26th Jan 2012, 1:53 PM edit delete reply
I like calling my boss (Lt. Nick Fury) in a game based on Marvel+DCU "Sergeant Anger." Gets him every time.
kriss1989 26th Jan 2012, 3:15 PM kriss1989 edit delete reply
Our's is Samuel L. Jackson. No, seriously. He is a method actor, so in order to play Furry for the upcoming movie he needed to know what it was like to be the head of an international espionage organization that regularly deals with superheroes. So he worked his way to the top.
Dusk Fox 27th Jan 2012, 10:47 AM edit delete reply
Heh, Nick FURRY...
Vulpis 22nd Jul 2012, 9:30 PM edit delete reply
Constantly grumbling about *his* superiors telling him he needs a shave, following with 'How do they think I lost the *eye*?!?' :-)
Dragonflight 26th Jan 2012, 1:15 PM edit delete reply
I recall an old AD&D game where the Twelve Swords had been woven into the environment. My character had Woundhealer, which was an artifact sword which (in the game, at least,) couldn't actually hurt people. But it was the ultimate artifact, because it was infinite healing on tap, so I almost never used it (because I didn't want the GM to take it away.)

We lured a vampire away from their nest under a shipping business (on a city on stilts over water... keep this in mind...) by showing them Woundhealer. Suddenly the acquisition of the ultimate healing artifact was all they cared about. So they attacked with everything they had.

Along the way, they discovered what it means to fight a well-prepared party with Woundhealer... We killed the vampire's retinue, and sent her packing. She retreated as a gas cloud back to her coffin under the business.

Unfortunately for her, we were just the distraction. While she was focused on us, our snarky thief had snuck away to the warehouse, and carefully cut the bottom out of the coffin, replacing it with a carefully tacked-on velvet mattress with some dirt sprinkled in it.

So when the vampiress reformed from gas back to solid, her weight was too much for the tacked on cloth. she fell out of the bottom of her coffin and into the water below. Scratch one vampire.
Darkside 26th Jan 2012, 1:51 PM edit delete reply
I statted out the Twelve Swords for 3rd Edition once. My ranger (who was a total coward) received Woundhealer from an avatar of Bahamut, but wasn't told anything about it.

So he tried using it like a normal longsword, healing the guy he attacked. After noticing, though, he tended to start a fight by stabbing himself through with Woundhealer and turning it every once in a while to activate the healing effect.
Nezumi 13th Feb 2012, 2:54 PM edit delete reply
I could swear I'd read that in the canon, someone actually does that with Woundhealer -- or another sword with similar properties in another work.
Guest 1st Nov 2012, 10:01 PM edit delete reply
It did. A guy broke shieldbreaker, if I remember correctly, using that technique. Complete badass move, if you ask me
witty name goes here 1st Nov 2012, 9:59 PM edit delete reply
ah, Twelve Swords. Good times, good times. Used them in a L5R game. We ended up eliminating a good chunk of Rokugan. And each other. And a couple of gods.
Kiana 26th Jan 2012, 1:18 PM edit delete reply
I don't have any stories about riling up NPCs into attacking. A few stories about the party riling up NPCs that were obviously going to attack anyway, but that's it.

Actually, one of the reasons I like the Mutants & Masterminds system is because it has a Taunt feat that's great for creating these situations.
kriss1989 26th Jan 2012, 3:18 PM kriss1989 edit delete reply
After Scarlet Saber, I am forbidden to make M&M characters with Taunt. Ever. Until our sun explodes. Twice.
Anvildude 26th Jan 2012, 8:19 PM edit delete reply
Exploding twice?! Can you do that? Can you explode twice?
kriss1989 27th Jan 2012, 9:37 AM kriss1989 edit delete reply
The GM who made that restriction isn't even a brony. I have yet to point it out.
Chakat Firepaw 28th Jan 2012, 10:20 AM edit delete reply
Fun fact: Some stars really do explode more than once. T Pyxidis and RS Ophiuchi have been observed exploding no less than six times each.
Aggromancer 26th Jan 2012, 1:30 PM edit delete reply
Don't know if this counts as taunting, but I did vaporize a peasant because my party was taking so long to get information from him. Cue the entire city guard aggroing the group, and it ended with the city getting covered by a few feet of water by the druid.

Pissed off my group, but to be fair I was an evil warlock, I mean come on, how much patience is that kind of character supposed to have?
Mrmantacos 26th Jan 2012, 2:47 PM edit delete reply
Chaotic evil drow. He destroys one tavern whenever he goes to a city. Provokes entire city to attack him. Doesn't fight any people attacking him but instead runs out of the city slaughtering as many civilians as possible on the way out (73). The city was never the same. Also got a permanent bonus to intimidation because of that.
Guest 26th Jan 2012, 4:55 PM edit delete reply
*Drow goes to a market*
Drow: How much are these healing potions?
Trader: 300 gold apiece.
Drow: What?!?!?
Trader: They're imported!
Drow: ...
Trader: Tell ya what, if ya buy 2, the second only costs 300 gold.
Drow: *facepalm*
Drow: *thinks* Nevermind. So, how's your day?
Trader: Pretty good, not much business though...
Drow: *thinks: "I wonder why..."* My day's gone pretty well; I JUST HAD A SANDWICH. *roll*
Trader: ...I suddenly gain the impression you just slaughtered an entire city. THEPOTIONSAREFREEIHAVEAFAMILY
Drow: *trollface*
witty name goes here 1st Nov 2012, 10:05 PM edit delete reply
Did something like that in an L5R game once. Killed a central character, and slaughtered 25 civilians by flailing randomly in a crowd. 7 decapitations. As a first level character. The campaign had to be suspended because of that.
Rentok 26th Jan 2012, 2:56 PM edit delete reply
My first time playing DnD (well, first campaign, it was like the fourth session) an NPC was introduced. I was the only PC around, having become fed up with the ridiculous time-taking deviding up the loot and gone on ahead. I had a bad gut feeling about the guy, so I started off the conversation by firing an arrow at him.

I wasn't even allowed to roll it, it thudded into his shield. He was annoyingly bland about the thing (the arrow was one of 35 magical arrows we had found as the loot that was still being distributed, it was also the only one of the 35 that we did not leave behind in a hole in the ground after taking the box they were in instead.) The party, out-of-character knowing what was going on, rushed over, abandoning 34 magic items. (We were level 2 at the time.) They hijacked the conversation, and I went ahead to do my own thing again.

A short while later, another NPC, just as heavily-implied-overpowerful as the first showed up. He lent me a ring for a short time. 30 IC-minutes later he wanted it back, and I refused, as was in character for my CE Ranger. He didn't exactly attack us, but he made it very clear he was bigger and stronger and pissed. Which had the opposite effect as what he wanted. (He should have just asked nicely. I mean really.)

Pretty much everything my character did ended up provoking someone. Even the things that were not intended to. For example, the very first time she apologized to someone, two of the party members immediately killed her off. Not even under suspicion of being an imposter.

Oh, and that first NPC, the one I fired at and didn't get to roll? Turns out he was the main villain after all. I trust my gut.
Dragonflight 26th Jan 2012, 3:28 PM edit delete reply
You went out of your way to antagonize the NPC's and the GM just wallpapered it over until the story was going where they wanted it?

I had a GM like that in an old game. He meant well, but we were really just the audience in a movie he was showing, and we just *thought* we had control.

He's a lot better these days, but you need to watch out for GM's who are so in love with their storyline, that they'll railroad you along it, even if you do something that threatens to overturn it.

Having been a GM on many occasions, I can certainly say there's a simple desire to tell the story you created for the players. But you have to understand that sometimes the story that gets told *isn't* the one you wrote. What matters is that the story goes on. Any encounter, no matter how pivotal at the time, is not more important than the game. As long at the GM remembers that (and sometimes, can be heard chanting it under their breath, but I digress...) then you'll be fine. :)
Jason 27th Jan 2012, 9:52 PM edit delete reply
I never understood that, the DM dictating the story line. I am dm'ing my first game (3.5) and my party of heroes arrived at a Pirate that I wanted them to kill. They were supposed to be a party of good dwarves, who are the son of the king. They instead rolled a diplomacy check and started talking with the pirate. I accepted it, and ended up forging an alliance, I mean business venture, with the pirate party and my dwarven party. The great thing? I originaly was going to make my campaign politically oriented (it will be epic length), but at the will of the players I decided to lessen the importance of politics. Then they, on their own, decided to make it super political through their deal with the pirate. It was only my second ever session DMing (I have only ever played 2 games prior to this) and I think it is going splendid!
Curb 26th Jan 2012, 3:32 PM edit delete reply
There was this one short campaign where the party was caught in a town between two bandit gangs, both intent on looting the town, killing the people and doing unspeakable things to the bodies. (A RIFTS game at that) The only thing keeping them from doing it was that they were arguing which gang was going to do it.

Our transplanted Road Sentinel (Reckless Kellie) got an idea. She took our rocket launcher toting mage(remember her?) and disappeared. Shortly there after a missile streaked from one camp to the other, then a series of explosions erupted in the camp the missile came from. Turned into a great bandit on bandit brawl, we watched from the town wall, taking bets on who would live.

In the end, the town looted the bandit camps and we got alot of new gear, loot and two new vehicles.
Guest 26th Jan 2012, 4:57 PM edit delete reply
Rocket Launcher. Toting. Mage.

Best. Fantasy. World. Ever.
kriss1989 27th Jan 2012, 9:47 AM kriss1989 edit delete reply
Yeti with a machine-gun firing from a hover-craft into cyborg dinosaurs.

Top that.
Kaleopolitus 27th Jan 2012, 10:13 AM edit delete reply
Easy, just add a guerilla faction of top hat wearing goldfish mutants in.
Archaeopteryx 27th Jan 2012, 1:04 PM edit delete reply
Welcome to Rifts! Where every book that came out inspired anew the question: "What the hay was Kevin Siembieda smoking this time?"
Curb 27th Jan 2012, 1:11 PM edit delete reply
"And where does he get it??"
Masterofgames 27th Jan 2012, 10:22 PM edit delete reply
How about a monkey quad wielding lazor pistols?
Raxon 15th Jun 2012, 11:51 AM edit delete reply
Sentient giant millipede genetic experiment who has escaped and gone on to create his own one millipede mercenary group. He has three hundred heavy pistols on belts, and has no problem using all of them at once. He is also psionic.

Why yes, I do enjoy gamebreaking. Why do you ask?
Destrustor 24th Jan 2013, 1:39 PM edit delete reply
Undead space pirates in a living ship armed with hive-mind kamikaze torpedoes playing non-stop german heavy metal telepathically. And the pirates have an irish accent.
Guest 30th Jun 2013, 7:35 AM edit delete reply
Was it anything like this?
Anon 26th Jan 2012, 5:19 PM edit delete reply
Managed to do this more-or-less accidentally, thanks to a GM with a meta sense of humor.

GURPS, custom space campaign. The others had already played once in this universe before I had joined; there had been some huge galactic war a couple decades prior that worlds were still recovering from. Quite a few of the party were vets from various units.

We're on some backwater that's been under siege by a new alien force that has a lot of firepower. We've already survived a few tangles with them, but not easily. Our party strongman knew some of the colony government, and we had volunteered to help out. We get word of a possible alien R&D site, but decide the expected resistance would be too risky.

And then I open my mouth. I make the (intended as OOC) remark of, "And you call yourself a drop trooper!".

The -glare- I got from the strongman's player, as well as the trollface our GM suddenly pulled, meant we were now tasked with sniffing out and looting a research base of a species we knew very little about. We survived that op, but I can't remember just HOW...
Kaleopolitus 27th Jan 2012, 12:16 AM edit delete reply
When your GM smiles-

- RUN.
Kiana 27th Jan 2012, 11:48 AM edit delete reply
"Is that right? =D"
Kaleopolitus 27th Jan 2012, 12:19 PM edit delete reply
"I... I have to go to the toilet for a second."
"Okay. I will wait."

*Five minutes later*

"... Is he coming back?"
The Lost 26th Jan 2012, 7:52 PM Run FROM the hills! edit delete reply
This actually happened last Wednesday. It's a dark sun campaign, and there's a bit of a survival element to it. We spend a lot of time using checks to avoid danger while adventuring through the desert. Pointless battle drains survival days (rations) which limits the amount of rests we can take and the amount of health and dailies we can use in our adventure.

I like it cause I'm playing a lawful good type guy who loves avoiding combat, but one guy, a warlord, clearly wants more action. As if he was some kind of lord of war or something. He's a good sport about it, and doesn't complain, btw.

But last time, we passed most of our checks, learning to play to our character's strengths, so we were making good time. We finally fail one and have this small easy encounter outside a cave, but near the end the DM tells me my character spots the dunes shifting unnaturally (think tremors). Something large is burrowing underground towards up. I warn the group instantly with a psychic theme power, so they all immediately see the danger. I also had him take jump onto a boulder in the sand.

The DM takes control of our NPC companion and tells us he books it towards the cave which is made of hard rock, not sand. He takes the time to call my character an idiot and warn him that the boulder wouldn't save him. The group is all ready to take these subtle hints from the DM and start booking it for the cave...

..but... What had happened was, our Warlord lingered to finish the easier monsters, so the rest of them went to help him, and I stopped half way to linger incase I'd be needed.

Eventually they do finish off the last guy, and start retreating, but... By then the Warlord's player was saying stuff about sorta half joking about fighting it.
The Lost 26th Jan 2012, 8:05 PM Accidentally hit post... edit delete reply
....I asked him if he wanted to actually fight it. He started bringing up some reasons about how we were doing good on time, but he was a bit conflicted. I was already nodding yes. I said I was in, but he's the leader class, so I started jokingly calling him the leader and pressuring to make a decision. The others seemed to be doing the same... And so we ended up fighting them.

Turns out it wasn't one, but two of those sand shark large creatures. It was pretty fun. I ended up tanking one and dealing Divine Challenge damage to the other. I also got the last hit on the first one, while also putting Divine Sanction on the other... So I have my lawful good pally lop off it's head and hold it up to taunt the other one, while my familiar fairy circled it and screamed "Hey Listen!"
kriss1989 27th Jan 2012, 9:51 AM kriss1989 edit delete reply
And so you have an awesome story of taking the heroes path and slaying great beasts.
Dragonflight 27th Jan 2012, 10:24 AM edit delete reply
Reminds me of an encounter in the 3.5 D&D game I'm currently GM'ing. The PC's are in the desert (they had just picked up a former guard to the desert princes as a new player.) They're navigating the dunes reasonably well because the new guy actually knows how to do it.

They encounter a trio of landsharks. The Monster Manual specifically says that a mated pair will stay for a year while the young matures. I roll and it comes up the arbitrarily small range I'd picked for a family with a young landshark. So they have three instead of just one.

The PC's had picked up a device which did a handful of random spells, similar to a Wand of Wonder, but much smaller range of choices. They used it, and got a Monster Summon. Pure luck of the draw, the monster they summoned was a giant jellyfish.

The jellyfish, totally out of its element, can only quiver uselessly on the sand. But the landsharks immediately divert from the PC's to attack the jellyfish while the PC's hightail it out of there.

It's not *exactly* "drawing aggro", but it's close... :)
The Lost 27th Jan 2012, 12:43 PM edit delete reply
That would be the opposite of drawing agro... Passing the buck.

Awesome, nonetheless.
Curb 27th Jan 2012, 1:17 PM edit delete reply
If I had a nickle for every fairy player who did that "Hey Listen!" gag, I'd be rich...wait, I'd have to play myself, I've done it before, playing a heavy metal loving Silver Bell fairy...plan on making a Dubstep loving fairy soon...should be hilarious.
Nezumi 13th Feb 2012, 3:14 PM edit delete reply
Silver Bell fairy? Not familiar with that...
darkwulf23 16th Feb 2012, 6:10 PM edit delete reply
To The Lost:

A lawful good Paladin in the Dark Sun world, where the entire theme of the world is 'honor or survival'? Someone is not playing it right.
GRFX 26th Jan 2012, 10:17 PM edit delete reply
This was actually both sides (the PCs and a couple of villains) taunting each other off, actually.
In that particular campaign, I was playing a Changeling Rogue/Master of Many Masks/Master Thrower, we were lv17 by the time (we were about four sessions away from the end by then-- and started all the way back at lv2. Campaign lasted a year and a half over pretty much every single Saturday).
We were against two avatars of the ability scores, so to say. One represented Charisma, and the other Strength, and this gnome that was pissing my character off. After some comments (mine aimed directly to piss off the gnome since the avatars were rather... powerful, probably in the Epic range) fight breaks out. Gnome losses no time in throwing a Flesh to Stone against me. I get petrified flipping him off as he put on a Prismatic Barrier around him afterwards. He angered the wrong person though.

The Wizard in our party uses a Limited Wish to revert the effect. Now, the fun began. I (and just me) was on friendly terms with the avatar of Intelligence, who was invisible nearby. He was going to break every single spell, including magical items except for mine. So I put on my Angel mask, cast Fly, next turn I pop Invisibility using the Archmage mask and the avatar of INT pops it as I near the gnome.

Fun fact is, my character used daggers, throwing them (Brutal Throw FTW) for damage. And on the previous session we ran across the Deck of Many Things (held by the INT avatar disguised). I rolled two cards, one of them involved me getting a Vorpal Dagger +5 (and it was all rolled on the spot, I was SO FREAKING HAPPY). Let's just say that that very same moment, a gnome was missing his head (it was a melee strike, of course)... >_>

That character had this impressive knack of being overly vengeful with the dice. The very first thing that hurt her (for 1 damage, mind you) I couldn't hit at the time because it got banished (a demon). When we found him again waaay later, I hit him with one single dagger for 70 damage. And I still had 2 more attacks left. XD
AABaker 27th Jan 2012, 1:33 AM Aggro story edit delete reply
So I was in a DnD 4E game. We were tracking a dwarf who had stolen a magic orb. We followed him to a city.
We just entered the city and this other party member immediately picks a fight with the town guards, who were minotaurs.
In short order they beat him into the ground and were hauling him off to jail. My character jumped in and managed to convince them it was all a misunderstanding and they agreed to let him go for minor compensation. So they let him go and he turns around and tries to pick a fight with them again. They beat him into the ground again and haul him off to jail again. I lost fifty gold and accomplished nothing.
kriss1989 27th Jan 2012, 9:53 AM kriss1989 edit delete reply
See, those are the guys that you just let go and the party moves on.
Mike 27th Jan 2012, 4:13 AM TDR edit delete reply
We unintentionaly had it happen. Our charismatic Gladiator gave this impassioned speach about working together for the greater good and how the target of the diplomacy was this great group of warriors whose aid we needed[i don't even know all of it, my barbarian got bored and wandered off to bake cupcakes.] The roll was pretty good too but what happened is the group was so inspired they figured they could take us with no trouble.
Mandolin 27th Jan 2012, 5:56 AM edit delete reply
Commonly heard in almost every random encounter my group has:

GM: "Okay, he's going to attack--"
My roommate: "I taunt him."

After about 50 repeats of this, the GM actually drew up a Sword of Taunting for my roommate's berserker gnome to find.
DMGOD 27th Jan 2012, 8:05 AM edit delete reply
One campaign I was in, I was playing a Warforged Barbarian/Frenzied Berserker, which ended up being more broken than I intended. ANYWAY, being a barbarian, I was offend the one who would succumb to the enemies taunt and charge in, slaughtering everything. There was one group of bandits in a fortress that we were trying to take that apparently have terrible eyesight(I was under a Enlarge person spell at the time.) Being the only PC nearby at the time, I was bantering with the guards for a while before they got sick of it, opened the door and charged out..... Into me swinging a tree trunk at the door because I was tired of waiting. Needless to say, everyone of them died in about 10 seconds
DMGOD 27th Jan 2012, 8:06 AM edit delete reply
Crud that should be a often^
Digo 27th Jan 2012, 8:57 AM edit delete reply
Years back in an old Earthdawn campaign, our party was tracking down a secret cult in a dwarven city. We found the hideout and snuck into the basement where the cult was beginning a major ceremony to bind a demon.

Magical wards prevented the wizards from dispelling the magical effects, so I came up with a more mundane way of interruption: I had the party barbarian lean me in through the doorway so I can ask-
"Sorry to interrupt your pajama party, but I was looking for a powerful cult here? They kinda look like you, but competent?"

The GM called a 5 minute break to regain composure.
kriss1989 27th Jan 2012, 9:56 AM kriss1989 edit delete reply
this is going into my list of 'Taunts to Use'.
Kaleopolitus 27th Jan 2012, 10:16 AM edit delete reply
Mercy me... I'm going to have to torture my DM with this or actions alike it now. The fun must be spread xD
Stairc 27th Jan 2012, 12:51 PM edit delete reply
The entire gameplay of the players in my current game is about riling someone up. They've chased a villain to a kingdom called Caile - which is now divided between two factions, the paladin king of Bahamut and the popular church of the One God - a false religion that is nevertheless ensnaring the hearts of the people. Most of the power is now on the side of the One Church - and any overt action against them could topple the goodly king's rule.

The villain has cleverly sought asylum with the priests of the one - which they grant to any who repent their sins before their god. The priests recognize no authority but their own imaginary faith to judge sinners, and so believe him redeemed already and refuse to give him up to the kingdom for execution. The players can't attack him therea for threat of sparking a civil war that will topple the king, a hero who they adore.

Thus the party has decided that they need to make the villain so pissed at them that HE attacks THEM, which the priests could hardly object to. They've spent the whole week brainstorming plans to enrage him. I can't wait to see what they do.
Qpow 27th Jan 2012, 1:50 PM edit delete reply
I've only had a couple of very short lived moments so far. I'm in the middle of my first campaign right now (3.5e), playing as a Halfling Pyromancer, and we haven't gotten all too far just yet but...

For context, we had recently come back from dealing with an enemy elf sorcerer who had been keeping an Ice element Hydra. Right after killing him, we're ambushed by a group who are after gems that are capable of controlling the Hydras. One sorceress among them downs our new Hydra friend in one shot, so of course they get what they want.

When we see them again in the local stronghold's town square, the whole group is accompanied by a noble and a contingent of soldiers. After a terse greeting, we get to talking about the sorceress, and at this point, I've decided to be a sexist jerk to her just for the hell of it (and for killing Wrex the Hydra).

Enemy Leader: "Yes, she certainly gets the job done, when she wants to."
Me: "Hmm I dunno, I don't think she's much for cooking."
Sorceress: "...What did you just say?"
Me: "You heard me. Go back to your kitchen."

The DM and I spent the next few rolls after that seeing if she could kick me (she didn't). She was then promptly stopped by another PC and dragged back by her leader.

A few moments later, we're at a standoff, the whole square prepping for combat, drawing up their weaponry (including some guns). I told the DM, "I'm going to cast Ghost Sound in the direction of the stronghold gate, and I'll cast it as a series of gunshots going off."

Sadly, nothing transpired other than a bizarre introduction, but it was worth a shot :'(
Derpmind 27th Jan 2012, 8:35 PM edit delete reply
Ok, this is totally ridiculous. I really enjoy reading all these stories everyone writes, but there's not ONE SINGLE COMMENT on the actual comic! None at all! It's like even the thought of posting a mere three or four sentences about the comic is too awkward to entertain.
Deadpan29 27th Jan 2012, 9:33 PM edit delete reply
My comment on the comic: RD's commentary and the reaction by the Shadowbolts has some interesting subtext. RD's player just insulted the DM's setup of the game so far and the "how dare you" from the Shadowbolts might have a little bit of the DM's own reaction in it.
Bronymous 27th Jan 2012, 11:03 PM edit delete reply
I like in the comic how... ponies...and something?

The author asked for stories, and we gave him stories. You don't really expect any of us to be capable of delivering hilarious anecdotes while simultaneously critiquing and commenting on the presented piece, do you?
Ranubis 28th Jan 2012, 4:43 AM edit delete reply
I like how we were left last comic wondering if we would get another deviation from the story, like Rarity falling. Now, I have a lot more respect for RD's player. It's one thing to play D&D just to fight bad guys. It takes skill to cause fights that halo the party by staying in character. Two hooves up!
Kaleopolitus 28th Jan 2012, 4:39 AM edit delete reply
FID is FAR from the best D&D crossover out there. In comparison to others, it's rather poorly done (No offense Newbiespud).

Either way, you REALLY picked the wrong page to post that complaint on, on this one Newbiespud specifically asked for stories, contrary to other pages.
Ranubis 29th Jan 2012, 5:41 PM edit delete reply
Other crossovers? Do tell!
Rad 28th Jan 2012, 2:17 AM edit delete reply
Once in our campaign the well-respected townsguard captain who gave us some minor quests was suspected to be a doppelganger. We had no clear proof, and trying to accuse him of something could have bitten us back as no one in town would have supported us.

Luckily, captain was also racist and a-hole, so my dragonborn paladin simply started a conversation with him. After five minutes of exchanging sarcastic and less-sarcastic mocks I got him so pissed that he challenged me to a duel which I naturally accepted as he had mocked my paladin honor.
He died, we found out he was a doppelganger, all went according to plan.
Kaleopolitus 28th Jan 2012, 4:41 AM edit delete reply
witty name goes here 1st Nov 2012, 10:24 PM edit delete reply
dbanksischillin 2nd Mar 2012, 2:05 PM edit delete reply
Well this is about to get interesting
76mumbles 17th Mar 2012, 9:34 PM Drawing Aggro edit delete reply
Well, I do remember once, we were all in a tavern, and there were some HUGE bodyguards for some weaselly dude arguing in the corner of the room. This was a new questing group for us, so we didn't know each other. So, the bard naturally wants to cause trouble. He walks up and asks what the problem was. They don't tell him. He asks if buying them all a round would help. It would. So, he walks up to the barkeep and says "Those men there are so upset for disrupting the tavern, that they are willing to buy a drink for EVERYONE!" Needless to say, they were not happy. it ended with us burning down the tavern, killing all 4 bodyguards, and 7 innocents. The small man escaped (even after taking an empty bottle to the head) and told us to meet him at an inn 3 days later. We spent the next 72 hours hiding in alleys and dumpsters.
Guest 31st Jul 2012, 10:02 PM edit delete reply
My party was a Cavalier (tank), a Magus (DPS), and a Bard (Buffs, played by me). We were attacked by Worgs, and the Magus was quickly tripped and surrounded. The whole time, I was standing off to the side, casting spells to weaken the enemy.

Eventually, the Magus ran out of spells that he could pull off while prone. At this point, there was one worg left. SO, what I do is run up, turn the Magus invisible, and start taunting the worg, provoking it into attacking me instead.

Maybe not the best idea to provoke it into attacking the squishiest character in the party, but when it attacked, it rolled a critical fumble, did damage to itself, and knocked itself unconscious.

First time I ever killed something by intimidating it.
Exto 18th Jan 2013, 1:21 AM edit delete reply
Done similar with the warrior mentioned below. We were (boarding/retaking a ship that was taken from an NPC we were working for) As we were searching the ship, my character comes across a random pirate and gives chase. Rounding a corner, I find myself staring down a bunch of blunderbusses with pirates behind them. They fire (some not quite as successfully as others) and injure me quite a bit. Knowing that I'm alone, the DM decides to taunt me and asks what I'll do next. I tell him I'm going to challenge/charge them. As I do, all his NPC's wind up failing a Will and run. The ruccus we raised alerts the town guards positioned on the dock and we all get locked up until things get sorted, he made the mistake of putting the two parties in adjacent cells. Just for laughs, I walk over to the bars separating us, grab the shoulder of an NPC that's leaning against them, and whisper "boo" into his ear. He turns around and sees me. Due to his injuries from the battle and a piss poor fortitude roll, the NPC has a heart attack and dies.
Exto 18th Jan 2013, 1:08 AM We can do that. edit delete reply
Let's see, drawing aggro...
Dwarven warrior gets impaled on a barbed trident by a lucky throw from a murloc. I ask the DM if it can be removed, and am told that it cannot (without killing my char)until the battle is over. I tell our healer to fix me, which he does successfully. I now have a trident sticking out of my chest. I ask the DM, is the base sharpened/barbed as well? As his face falls, he mutters a quiet "yes." I proceed to lunge at the first merlock in front of me with the trident base and impale him, and finish him off with my axes. (got to triple wield for the battle as a reward for creativity) I get all the aggro next turn. Since the enemy are making themselves easy targets, I do the same thing two more times successfully. Unfortunately, the DM does a will save roll for his little troop of frogmen at that point and spoils all my fun...