Page 794 - Dark Horses, Mission 14

23rd Aug 2016, 6:00 AM in Intermission 8
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Dark Horses, Mission 14
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Author Notes:

Newbiespud 23rd Aug 2016, 6:00 AM edit delete
Author: ChrisTheS

Guest Author's Note: "Those of you who've read my comic will recognize the unfortunate red pony in panel 2. Don't worry, GM fiat decrees she'll live to be unceremoniously bonked on the head another day.

"Characters from 'Star Mares':"

Notice: Guest comic submissions are open! Guidelines here. Deadline: February 20th.



Digo Dragon 23rd Aug 2016, 6:04 AM edit delete reply
Digo Dragon
"Can I loot it?" - likely one of the more agonizing statements a GM will hear from players.
Mykin 23rd Aug 2016, 6:59 AM edit delete reply
I rarely end up asking for loot. It might be a mindset I've held on to from the early days (where my characters barely lived longer than two sessions before I had to reroll), but I've never really found much point in grabbing anything that wasn't straight up cash. Since we rarely, if ever, managed to find ourselves in a store that actually wanted to buy our stuff in those days, the idea of carrying random sets of crappy armor and weapons around never made sense to me. Of course, I always jumped on the random magical item, but those tended to appear just as often as the stores, if not less so.

But ever since that ridiculous shopping trip in my FO:E game, I've been slowly coming around to trying to pick up everything that might have value to it. Of course, it kind of helps that we have a truck to carry these thing...
Digo Dragon 24th Aug 2016, 7:04 AM edit delete reply
Digo Dragon
My character in FO:E currently has some odd loot, including a rare non-creepy Pinkie Pie poster, two plastic bat decorations, and a lab coat that can only be described as "What Bill Nye would wear as a pony".

Bow tie included.
ChrisTheS 23rd Aug 2016, 7:27 AM edit delete reply
It doesn't come up much at our table. My current campaign is Legend of the Five Rings(IN SPAAAAAACE), where you don't generally have loot because samurai are supposed to be above such things as material wealth. Problem is, I'm running it with the Cypher System, which presupposes that you're going to be finding one-shot magical items all the time, so I've had to find a thematic way to work around that.
Someone 23rd Aug 2016, 11:43 AM edit delete reply
Legend of the Five Rings IN SPAAAAAACE? Well, Mr. you have got me very much curious!
ChrisTheS 23rd Aug 2016, 12:24 PM edit delete reply
It's one of the alternate setting options in 'Imperial Histories 2,' the last chapter. Although as with all of their alternate setting options, it's kind of sparse on actual details, so I've drawn on half a dozen space opera anime (plus a side order of Warhammer 40k) to flesh it out.
Winged Cat 23rd Aug 2016, 10:59 AM edit delete reply
I'm slightly proud of the version of "I loot it" I recently inflicted on a GM.

Our first session consisted of finding an abandoned ship, boarding it, and taking it to port. This was a setup so we could claim it as our prize, thus giving the party a ship and ability to travel the seas - the intended plot of the campaign. This had all been negotiated before the campaign started.

At the end of that first session, my PC laid out the next step in registration, which had not been discussed but logically flowed from the situation. We had to take inventory of all cargo and treasure on board, with an eye toward reselling for supplies and to finish paying the registration fee. But we already had (and owned, save for the last bit of paperwork) the ship.

Which is to say, first session and we're already looting ourselves.
Derpmind 24th Aug 2016, 4:39 AM edit delete reply
Yeah, yeah, now what loot do I find on this guest comic?
ChrisTheS 24th Aug 2016, 5:16 AM edit delete reply
Never got your item wishlist, so it'll just have to be art objects :)
Someone 24th Aug 2016, 2:09 PM edit delete reply
Oooh, Graphic Tablet +3 to Outlining! Nice!
Guest 29th Aug 2016, 7:25 AM edit delete reply
I kinda have to do it a lot to my DM, hes the type of guy that for longest time after every single battle the enemy either had nothing at all or the weapons "broke" during the fight. So the only loot we could get was the stuff he hid randomly around the area that we never had time to search for because we always ALWAYS manage to agro the enemies, or boss, or theirs no time after the fighting to search, or someones dying and we dont have time to search, or or or EVERYTIME.
ANW 23rd Aug 2016, 6:34 AM edit delete reply
Over at Darth and Droids, they did a "World Without Star Wars" thing.
I think this a good place to this.
In a world without My Little Pony:
ChrisTheS 23rd Aug 2016, 7:22 AM edit delete reply
Or at least without 'Friendship is Magic'. I could see G1 existing (might help explain why RD originally thought it was too silly, which of course would show that she'd never actually SEEN the original show - most of the storylines would make fine classic D&D adventures themselves).
grtgfbll 23rd Aug 2016, 8:14 AM edit delete reply
The original Pilot/Hour-Long Special with the fight against Tirek comes to mind...
ChrisTheS 23rd Aug 2016, 8:28 AM edit delete reply
Pretty much any of the episodes written by George Arthur Bloom or Michael Reaves. Special mention to 'The Return of Tambelon,' which would make a great Ravenloft adventure...
Captain Snark 23rd Aug 2016, 8:37 AM edit delete reply
Sure I'll bite...
*Harmonyballs is a serious documentary about Barbershop Quartets.
*Tabitha St. Germain is known (barely) for doing voice overs in short lived Canadian animated series, but gains widespread fame after her appearance in the first Futurama movie.
*Tara Strong is known primarily for the Powerpuff Girls.
*Nerdy guys make YouTube videos of themselves talking about Disney Princesses instead of ponies.
*Barbie and her Sisters in a Pony Tale was never made. Barbie fans never had it so good.
*The major girls cartoon background that pervades all of Western culture is Rainbow Bright, despite it never being much good. It was remade recently as a new, updated television series with a bigger budget, high-tech computerised special effects, and edgy writing. And it sucked.
*Newbiespud exists and is making a screencap comic based on Steven Universe.
Platonix 23rd Aug 2016, 9:00 AM edit delete reply
Oh man, I can see Steven as a BESM character who sunk nearly all of his character points into the Unknown Power attribute.
radio414 23rd Aug 2016, 12:46 PM edit delete reply
I have one too..

* "A Brony Tale" is a serious documentary about fraternal organizations targeting jockeys.
* Outside of voice-acting in a few obscure video games, John DeLancie doesn't do anything of note until showing up as a minor character in the second season of "Breaking Bad". He goes on to crowdfund a documentary about "Whiteys" and still attends Breaking Bad fan conventions.
* Lauren Faust is known primarily for Milky Way and the Galaxy Girls.
* Instead of dressing up in fursuits of ponies, nerdy guys and gals dress up in fursuits of literally any other species.
* Without the success of Rescue at Midnight Castle, He-Man and the Masters of the Universe was never revived twenty years later, and remains an obscure, cult TV show.
* "Jem and the Holograms" was never filmed. Jem fans never had it so good.
* The major kids show that pervades Western culture is The Smurfs, despite never being much good. It was recently remade as a new, updated TV series and movie with high budgets and state-of-the-art computer graphics imaging. It was terrible.
* The pervading medium used to animate kid's shows in the new millennium is claymation.
* Newbiespud's still around, and is still making a screencap comic based on... (wait, Steven Universe is already taken? Um...) Gravity Falls?
ANW 23rd Aug 2016, 1:31 PM edit delete reply
Don't get me wrong, Steven Universe is a good show.
But would it really make a good RPG?
I mean, that's the third time I've seen that, including the last time around.
nathan400 23rd Aug 2016, 4:28 PM edit delete reply
It exists.
Atarlost 24th Aug 2016, 7:58 AM edit delete reply
John Delancey obscure? You ever hear of this little thing called Star Trek? It used to be arguably the most mainstream science fiction franchise. He guest starred on several of the most memorable episodes of TNG and a few of DS9 and Voyager as the most beloved non-main-cast character, and probably more beloved than most of the main cast.

If you didn't already well know this I think I can safely say John Delancey was already famous for portraying a capricious trickster quasideity before you were born. Now stop making me feel old.
radio414 24th Aug 2016, 4:40 PM edit delete reply
I am aware of (and have watched) Star Trek, yes, and I am aware of John de Lancie's role in The Next Generation and onwards. My interpretation (of my own joke) was more based off the assumption that if you ask the average joe, "Do you know who John de Lancie is?" the most likely response is "Who?" (Nerds will answer "Yeah, Trias from Planescape: Torment, right?") In retrospect, I should have more closely followed the template of the source material, sorry.

Though if feeling old is what you want, were you aware that Season One of TNG aired closer to the moon landing than the present day?
Digo Dragon 24th Aug 2016, 7:06 AM edit delete reply
Digo Dragon
Tabitha has done a bunch of stuff States-side. She'd still be known.

I did get a kick on the alternate Spud comic though. :D
Binary Toast 23rd Aug 2016, 9:24 AM edit delete reply
"Okay, yes, it's full plate +1, but we're literally kicking in their door in a sneak attack! LOOT IT ON THE WAY OUT!"

Yes, that really happened in my party. Yes, it was also the party rogue.
Digo Dragon 24th Aug 2016, 7:07 AM edit delete reply
Digo Dragon
Looting on the way out is actually a good strategy. You're not weighed down by stuff for the boss fight.
ChrisTheS 24th Aug 2016, 8:37 AM edit delete reply
Oddly (or perhaps not so much) I've never been in a group that bothered with encumbrance rules...
Digo Dragon 25th Aug 2016, 5:43 AM edit delete reply
Digo Dragon
When I'm GM, I tend to play loosely with them. I only count significant weighty objects like weapons and armor, but little things under a pound tend to be hand-waved.

As a player, I try to track weights more accurately. Most GMs I've played under seem to follow encumbrance.
Greenhornet 23rd Aug 2016, 10:14 AM edit delete reply
"Nothing but heavy machinery and raw materials."
Reminds me of a story told by a friend where the party was in a warehouse filled with "Heavy machinery. Nothing to loot". They demanded to know WHAT machinery was there and the GM rattled off an off-the-cuff list that included CONSTRUCTION equipment, which IS "heavy machinery".
The PCs stole a bulldozer and later used it to rob a bank.
Winged Cat 23rd Aug 2016, 11:13 AM edit delete reply
Quite. If the heavy machinery is self-propelled, and especially where you have robot drivers (such as in this 'verse), heavy machinery is often capable of looting itself, taking along quite a bit of other stuff too.

Just because a star destroyer is too big to fit into a typical humanoid's pocket doesn't mean it can't be loot. You just have to be creative with the heist. (This may include coming up with automation to replace, at least for a short time, those things you normally need a large crew for.)

Self-propelled, self-driven construction with the right raw materials is even worse. How fast can it build a starship, or some other big ticket item? Maybe it needs skills - did the party include a crafter? Sufficiently advanced tools approach Minecraft/Lego-grade manipulation of the world, which is a superpower right up there with teleportation and invisibility.
ChrisTheS 23rd Aug 2016, 12:29 PM edit delete reply
I once had a detailed plan for stealing a Star Destroyer that involved disabling the gravity and the magnetic generator that kept the hull plates attached to each other. But the campaign stopped before we could get that far.
Digo Dragon 24th Aug 2016, 7:09 AM edit delete reply
Digo Dragon
I had a party steal a Russian tank once. And they did figure out how to fire the main cannon. I didn't bother looking up the damage though. Since they were shooting unarmored trucks, I just assumed whatever was hit was destroyed.
ChrisTheS 24th Aug 2016, 8:43 AM edit delete reply
... and now I'm trying to figure out how one would go about turning 'Girls und Panzer' into an RPG...
Zaiphox 24th Aug 2016, 1:07 PM edit delete reply
Ooh, now that IS an idea. Though not entirely sure if that's going to end up as less an RPG, more a wargame...
Greenhornet 24th Aug 2016, 4:07 PM edit delete reply
What if the space freighter was carrying reproductions of late 20th century sports cars? The PCs then start driving them down the corridors of the death star:
Fast And Furious... IN SPACE!
Winged Cat 24th Aug 2016, 4:39 PM edit delete reply
You'd need a system with good vehicle rules, and stuff for vehicle crew to do other than just drive and shoot. You might want to make the PC tank one with an autoloader, since "roll Str/Dex to reload" each round can get boring, but at the least only having one PC able to handle comms with the outside world can be an interesting aspect. Possibly break the PCs into crews of 2 or 3: one driver, one gunner, and optionally one "commander" (talk-with-the-outside and dedicated spotter, since the other two have limited vision) per tank.

Technically, there is an optional RPG side to Car Wars that could totally handle this, though that's "RPG strapped onto a wargame" and can feel like one (not much RPG detail other than vehicle stuff); OTOH, the setting is one that already supports something much like Girls und Panzer, so setting it in an academy and using converted vintage tanks instead of armored cars is but a minor tweak. All of the last sentence can also be said of Mechwarrior/Battletech (though the tanks would be from the Star League instead of WW2).

As for truer RPG systems, I'm pretty sure GURPS could do it. I suspect Silhouette Core or most other systems that have good ground vehicle rules could support this. The FFG Star Wars series has dedicated vehicle combat rules but they might be a bit light on non-drive/shoot mechanics...but again, use the above guidelines for the "commander" position and you might be able to pull it off, with more than adequate out-of-vehicle gaming support too.
Jphyper 23rd Aug 2016, 10:56 AM edit delete reply
"Notice: Guest comic submissions are open! Guidelines here. Deadline: August 15th."

Today is August 23rd...
Pablo360 23rd Aug 2016, 2:34 PM edit delete reply
I had been wondering why submissions were still "open". That one was going to bug me for a while, so thanks.
Newbiespud 23rd Aug 2016, 5:29 PM edit delete reply
Ah, whoops.
Akouma 23rd Aug 2016, 4:15 PM edit delete reply
So this guest run has made me want to play or run a game in which the players exist in a world that's very Star Wars in terms of what exists out there, but they live on an isolated and non-spacefaring world that's straight out of a sword and sorcery game. The first encounter would be first contact. I know there's a Pathfinder setting that's kind of like that.
Winged Cat 23rd Aug 2016, 5:12 PM edit delete reply
Actually, the FFG Star Wars books (Edge of the Empire/Age of Rebellion/Force and Destiny, and their respective sidebooks) have pretty much such a thing: Weik, listed in the book Nexus of Power. It is designed to be SW-ification of swords and sorcery - some elements of the Star Wars 'verse landed there and went native - but another "first" (first official, perhaps) contact could easily happen.
ChrisTheS 23rd Aug 2016, 7:40 PM edit delete reply
That's the standard starting point for Dragon*Star, which I can't persuade my group to play...
Chimerat 23rd Aug 2016, 5:15 PM edit delete reply
"Notice: Guest comic submissions are open! Guidelines here. Deadline: August 15th."

Slight time travel required?
Newbiespud 23rd Aug 2016, 5:28 PM edit delete reply
What, you can't time travel? Then who did I run into at the Louvre in 2128?

Mykin 24th Aug 2016, 4:25 AM edit delete reply
That would be me. =P
Digo Dragon 25th Aug 2016, 5:44 AM edit delete reply
Digo Dragon
Can I borrow your time machine? I want to see when I complete this fanfic I'm writing.
albedoequals1 23rd Aug 2016, 6:16 PM edit delete reply
Is it just me, or is Redshift trying out a new bonk face? Didn't she used to keep both eyes open and cross them when she got bonked?
ChrisTheS 23rd Aug 2016, 7:41 PM edit delete reply
I've got three or four bonk poses. I just used the same ones multiple times in a row as a visual gag.
Sky Stream 23rd Aug 2016, 6:46 PM edit delete reply
Oh hey, finally caught up.

I still can't believe I didn't know this existed till 2 days ago....
Digo Dragon 24th Aug 2016, 7:10 AM edit delete reply
Digo Dragon
Better late than never! :D
kolboldbard 23rd Aug 2016, 7:14 PM edit delete reply
Dang, Dark Forces, and destroying the Arc Hammer.
Malroth 24th Aug 2016, 7:49 PM edit delete reply
Stanley would not approve
Ishidan 26th Aug 2016, 8:01 PM Bonking edit delete reply
Now I have such a curiousity about what a ceremonius bonking on the head would look like.
River Road 3rd Sep 2016, 5:16 AM edit delete reply
I don't know if the original Star Mares comic has those credit screens too (haven't read it that far yet), but I love that he went through the effort to misalign the "Derpy Digital" sign.